Mom Expects Compassion From A Neighbor Who Can’t Sleep Because Of Her, Internet Is Divided
Living in an apartment building can present challenges, as you need to consider your neighbors and can’t freely engage in activities like playing loud music at night, shouting, or making noise by jumping.
Reddit user u/sushikat323 had a similar experience while diligently extracting milk multiple times a day for her premature baby daughter. However, a neighbor complained about the noise from her apartment at night.
Is she wrong for prioritizing her child’s well-being over her neighbor’s sleep? Join us as we explore the emotional rollercoaster of parenthood and the difficult choices that sometimes come with it.
Woman has a premature daughter and been extracting milk throughout the night which made noise
The neighbor below was not happy about it as it ruined his night sleep
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alexander Grey (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
The woman answered some concerns given by the readers
Image credits: sushikat323
Raising a child poses many challenges
As you grow up, you may not fully grasp the multitude of challenging choices your parents face until you become a parent yourself. Suddenly, your responsibilities shift, and you find yourself making significant decisions for your family. This can be both overwhelming and stressful, especially when it comes to the most crucial parental choices you’ll encounter. What are these decisions, and how can you ensure you make the right ones?
As a parent, you’re the one in charge because your child is young and still learning about the world. It’s your responsibility to guide and care for them. As your child grows into their late teenage years, they edge closer to adulthood, and it becomes necessary to grant them more independence and decision-making power. Figuring out when to do this can be challenging, as there are pitfalls on both ends of the spectrum.
Some parents give their kids full control over their choices as early as 13 or 14, resulting in recklessness and poor decisions. Conversely, waiting until they’re 21 can lead to resentment. The best approach is to gradually increase their freedom and responsibility during their teenage years. Show them that you trust them to make decisions for themselves, and this trust will naturally evolve until they can manage everything without constant supervision.
In addition to making decisions for your children, all parents eventually face a situation where they must make important choices for their own parents. At a certain point, elderly parents may reach a stage where they can no longer live independently due to age or illness. This forces you to make a decision about their living situation. Should they move in with you, or should they transition to a care facility where they can receive more assistance? It’s a challenging decision because you might feel like you’re “passing them off” if you opt for the latter.
However, it’s a wise idea to consult with senior living advisors who can assist you in finding suitable options for your elderly parents. Living in a care facility can often provide them with the attention and support they require. Regardless of the choice you make, it’s undeniably a difficult decision that many parents worldwide must confront.
These are among life’s most challenging decisions, and while contemplating them can be painful, hopefully, this post provides some insights on how to navigate them.
Image credits: Daiga Ellaby (not the actual photo)
The commentators shared some information
Some people thought she was wrong
Whereas some of them thought compassion should come first
He shouldn't live in an apartment if the sound of a CAT jumping off of the bed wakes him up. Hes the a*****e for only getting mad at any noise SHE makes. The fiance can get up at 3 am and he doesn't get mad at him. Sounds like she is trying her very best to be quiet but what is this guy going to do when she brings a crying baby home? You would think the hospital would make accommodations for her to still be staying at the hospital to breastfeed and its an unfortunate situation
Yeah I was on the fence until he complained about the cat jumping. He needs to get a box fan. The noise blocks out normal house hold noises. I love my fan. When it turns off I feel panicky. I know that sounds crazy, but sur flow is a must for me.
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Neighbour better get on looking for somewhere to move as it'll get 100x worse when the baby is back at home, even with carpets etc. We had proper, music studio grade sound proofing put on the walls and we can still hear next door neighbours singing, doing the hoovering and kids shouting
Sound proofing only reduces sound made inside the soundproofed room.
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Total non issue, sorry. Mum has to express. The end. What is he going to do hen she brings home a baby that cries at that time? This is insane. I would have reacted the same way.
NTA, it is a temporary situation that will remedy itself soon enough. If the neighbor is bothered by an alarm from above, then he needs to find a solution for himself. Will he expect cars not to travel by during his sleep hours? Will he expect the world to shut down because he is a light sleeper? No. He can suck it up, put in earplugs or move his bedroom while OP pumps and awaits carpet and new bed.
Apartment living = there will be noises at night. Full stop. I fortunately live in a building with concrete floors and ceilings but i can still hear the kids upstairs pitter-pattering around. If he is that sensitive then he should use earplugs or white noise or not live in a place where noise is a guarantee. Sounds harsh, but that's life.
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The poeple with the YTA are absolutely insane. It is the landlord's responsibility to assure adequate sound reduction and living conditions. They should be fighting the landlord on this, not each other. The fact is, she has the right to live in her home in a way that allows her to meet health needs for her and her family. She cannot change the milk situation. The downstairs neighbour can very easily wear noise-calleing headphones. They really need to move asap, bebecause if the neighbour is that much of an a*s and cannot even handle a short alarm in the night, they are not going to be able to handle a crying baby
He also has the right to live in his own home in a way that allows him safety and peace.
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I believe both parties could do more. The neighbor's complaint is valid, however if he's that light of a sleeper, I can't imagine how a car passing by outside or another neighbor coughing in their sleep won't wake him up as well. I'd suggest he look into earplugs or whatever. That said, OP could do more with regards to her alarm (I believe there's vibrating wristbands or watches that can serve as silent alarms) or put a blanket underneath her airbed to keep the noise down when moving around during her sleep. All in all, it sounds like a really tough situation for OP especially. Can't imagine the stress of having to care for an infant that turns blue once a day.
Did you not read the post before commenting? Because vibration isn't an option, and the OP is already doing more.
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Good lord, I am appaled to see so many people supporting the neighbour. People do really hate children. Can you imagine what it is like for the mother to have her baby in the NICU, not being able to take her home, worrying about her health? Worrying and feeling guilty because she is not producing enough milk? She has to express milk to save her baby, so she will do it. The neighbour shouldnt live in a flat if he is that sound sensitive. She even gave him earplugs! If the husband had to work at early mornings and had to set up his alarm to 3am , would people be so inconsiderate to him? Well, this is a worse situacion.
I don't think that most people hate children. People are tired of others thinking just because it involves a child or that they are a parent everything has to revolve around them. That said, I think this is a case of they live in an apartment with almost nothing to help sound carrying and the neighbor is going to just have to deal with the fact there is going to be noise of some type or another quite a bit.
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I was with the neighbour until she revealed how much of a nuisance he's being with his "light sleeping". I thought my mom was a very light sleeper until she confessed recently that for decades she wasn't getting much sleep, and actually lay awake at night for hours. That's why she would hear me colouring if I couldn't sleep or see the light of my lamp on with my door closed, down the hall. So, I call b******t on the neighbour claiming this new mom is his problem for not sleeping. Like, what will happen once her baby comes home and starts crying through the night? But I also think the new mom is being a bit selfish, too, in not considering her neighbours. Maybe a more softer, less jarring alarm might help, such as gentle music. Doesn't sound like it's a carpet vs. hard floor problem either, considering he's been hounding the family before. But to suggest he sleep with something in his ears is passive aggressive. I've done this before but woke up with a horrible earache.
Both the family and their neighbour have a right to living a comfortable, reasonably peaceful life in their suites. However, when you're living so close to your neighbour, that you can hear each others toilets flushing, and walking about, you have to take it as normal daily life noises. I had a downstairs neighbour who was so sensitive to my noise he came up complaining to me a few times. The 2nd time he done it I called the police because it was in the same evening. What was I doing? Washing dishes and putting them away at 5:30 in the afternoon. It was a month later he got the boot for repeat harassment. What this mom can do is log whenever she's being harassed by her neighbour. Also talk to her landlord what is going on and try to find solutions that will make everyone happy, amap.
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There is a reasonable expectation of quiet, there are also unreasonable demands in that regard, and some noises that must be tolerated as part and parcel of apartment living (these include flushing toilets, someone getting up to get a midnight snack, and yes, even an ill timed alarm, as neighbors are entitled to keep different schedules), so no, the neighbor's demands are more than a little unreasonable, not to mention that in a couple of months he is hopefully going to have to deal with a screaming baby at all hours, and good luck getting anyone to take his complaints seriously when it comes to that (babies/kids are loud, that is just a fact of life). On the other hand OP could have been a little more understanding, but it sounds like the problem has been going on for a while, and that the alarm is just the latest in a long line of complaints that border on the absurd (of course, the story is more than a little one-sided, so the situation might not be as unreasonable)
She is not the a*****e. It wont be long, till this Baby is a little toddler an will running trhough the appartment!!
Wth, people are saying the baby should die on Reddit? What the actual f? Also, as a mother: NTA. I understand neighbor but dude grow a pair (of good headphones) or move.
Earbuds/headphones. My hubby is super-sensitive to even a cat going "mew" on another floor, so we invested. He lseeps much better! OP is in a rotten spot, and the neighbor could just listen to white noise. I've had to do that many a year in the rathole apartments of my past, and it's what it is. Life.
Get some kind of headphones/ear buds you can sleep in. Have alarm go off directly in your ears. Problem solved?
This is the risk you take living in an apartment. I lived in a second floor apartment for 4 years & I swear the people above were bowling! Aggravating? Yes. I didn't complain because I chose to live there.
What I can't believe is that he has no problems with the fiance moving around at night. Why is it only the OP and her cat? This neighbor has bigger problems than just noise. He's either a misogynist or in love with her fiance. If I were her, I'd ask my fiance to have a talk with the guy. Let him know that in an apartment you'll hear noise and that he'd better find a way to deal with it, especially since they will be bring home their child soon. I'd also ask my fiance to to let the neighbor know that if he has a problem with me (OP), he's going to have to start talking to him (fiance).
Combo platter of AHs: Firstly, the people who build apartments with thin walls and floors with no insulation. Landlords who don’t pay to make them better. Why do they have fleas? Outdoor cat? Previous tenants? Can’t they stay with their parents until the fleas are gone and the baby is home? I feel like the neighbor has some kinda rapport w the husband so I wonder what the wife’s first interaction was. It’s not about the baby. It’s about her and the neighbor.
All I know is that lack of sleep is one of the most destructive, damaging and life altering things that can happen. It discolours your whole life and zaps all the joy from it. It doesn't matter if it's flats or houses, I've had noisy neighbours in both. Being woken up every night at 1am sounds like torture to me. They need carpets.
What kind of cheaply built apartment building do they live in? You can hear the upstairs neighbor's toilet flushing? I think both parties need to MOVE! Walls and floors that thin are unacceptable. Just wait till baby cries, or even worse, gets older and makes normal kid noises like laughing? God forbid anyone farts!
Easier said than done. Moving is expensive. Especially when there's a newborn involved.
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Whilst that is a terrible solution to guarantee an exhausted, sleep deprived parent waking up, the neighbour should be happy with the alarm - once the baby comes home - pretty sure you can't set babies to vibrate - it will be keeping everyone up far less predictably.
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One last thing, I am an apartment dweller and her lousy landlord needs to exterminate the entire building. Because if only a few people are fighting this infestation, bugs will run to spaces that have not been sprayed or not recently been sprayed. If he doesn't comply, the Health departments in some cities can be really helpful. God bless!, Mama and Daddy and especially Baby.
What a mess! This poor mother! I'm with writer who stated that she has enough on her shoulders with a very sick baby, fighting fleas in her apartment, having no bed to sleep in, one of the everyday comforts of our lives after a nasty day. And other comforts we take for granted. Don't forget, she is also very sleep deprived! Worry about her baby, worry about her own sleep, worry about her milk production, worry about her living conditions. And then a man, neighbor, asks her to take care of his needs!!! I've never read anything so ridiculous in my life!!! He's a grown man. He's responsible for himself and his wants and needs. She never took him to raise! He needs to work out his own a solution!!!
My suggestion would be a fitness tracker that also has an alarm function. My vibrates...and it will definitely wake OP up and it won't be audible to any neighbour.
I want to know why she had to rip up ALL her carpeting and get rid of ALL her furniture because of a flea problem. If she had an exterminator come and spray the place, couldn't they have done that to the carpeting and furniture once it was all cleaned?
Flea eggs embed themselves deep into carpets and fabrics. You have to vacuum every soft surface 2-3 times a day for a couple weeks after treatment.
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Two points- first, anybody who days OP Is TA needs to get a grip. Having an alarm set is not unreasonable noise. If the guy Is that sound-sensitive, He needs to move to a house. Just wait until the baby gets home. Second- what the hell are your apartment buildings made out of? A plain cardboard? I lived in several apartment buildings, and the only time i heard my neighbours was when they were partying... I would even say that my apartment building is quiter than my parents house...
You live in an apartment your going to get noise. I get he's having trouble getting woken up but honestly if a cat jumping wakes him up then he has the issue not OP. As for her last comment about people making nastu comments about her and her baby I have no idea how some people can be so cruel. I hope her and her baby are ok now
This is a tough situation, I won't go to a YTA or NTA but probably an ETA. She's not willing to find solution with the neighbor to fix the issue and he's pushing it a bit far and not being thoughtful.
Not having carpets or rugs makes noise travel much more - combining this with alarms at 1am is highly inconsiderate, especially when you already know your neigbour is a light sleeper. Yes, he should wear earplugs, but they can be uncomfortable for some people, and even painful. Try a light alarm, or sleep with headphones and have the alarm go to them. You can get soft headphones designed for sleeping. Deal with your flea problem - try a different exterminator, and check your cat, because your flea prevention methods may not be working, you may need to change to something else. When your flea problems are dealt with, put down a sound-proofing underlay under the new carpet. When your baby is home, noise is going to be an issue both ways - you may think that the neighbour being woken at all hours is his problem, but if he can't get back to sleep and retaliates by making noise and waking her, it's going to be your problem too.
The neighbor is absolutely entitled to their own home to be comfortable without having to do anything extra like wearing noise canceling stuff.
Indeed and the OP is entitled to the same, as well as keeping her daughter alive.
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I hate to inform you that fleas bite humans too XD They’ll jump right onto your pant leg or sock or shoe and happily travel into your home with you, if you walk around outside where there are fleas. My two cats are fully indoor and they still have to be on year-round flea control where I live, because there’s a chance I could bring fleas inside in my clothing just by walking around outside.
Load More Replies... Ops flea treatment seems extreme? Speaking as someone who can attract a flea or mosquito from a mile away and gets huge bites from them, I’ve never encountered a flea scenario where an exterminator couldnt handle them in one or two treatments. Plus, I don’t think removing carpets helps the problem since they aren’t a food source for fleas. Does OP mean termites or bedbugs? Moths? Those I know can be much more difficult to get rid of?
Another self entitled parent!! I also had a premie baby that was in hospital for awhile but I pumped during the day, so I call bs on having to pump in the hours you stated. Nobody has the right to disturb their neighbors.... PERIOD
After reading that her partner’s even LOUDER alarm and STOMPING do not elicit complaints from him, even in the middle of the night, I am wondering what, exactly, is going on with the downstairs neighbour. YTA OP. You have looked, and are looking at alternatives, and having a family member who routinely slept through sirens, I get that only certain things might wake you up. And, this is literally about the life your child and your caring for her properly. Living in an apartment with another apartment over you can suck, but in this case, you are trying to be careful, your neighbour has some weird prejudice against YOU (not your partner, obviously), and needs to grow the h-e-double-hockey-stick up. And install soundproofing on his ceiling if he can’t cope.
Nothing was mentioned about pets, so she should not have fleas, especially recurring fleas unless the previous tenant had flea-infested pets and the management never properly cleaned or replaced the carpet. If she does not have pets then she has grounds for a civil lawsuit against the management for all expenses. Also, if any other tenant has flea-infested pets, the fleas will spread to all units just like bed bugs.
Both parties could work harder to find a solution. I sleep with a bluetooth headband so that I can listen to white noise from my phone. OP could have something like this (all over Amazon) and then only they would hear the alarm. More importantly, when the baby comes home... all bets are off and the neighbor is going to have even more issues.
Literally the vibrating wristband is just the perfect solution for everybody. Reading some of these comments is really sad. Let's focus on some empathy? For the both of them. Just because you're not a light sleeper it doesn't mean he should f off because he is one. It's not like he chose this. I'm a light sleeper myself and it's really hard and sometimes depressing as heck when other alarms wake you up when you barely managed to fall asleep. It's really hard to fall back asleep, especially at 1 in the morning. Besides, we know nothing about his life either so let's not just judge him like that. Now, the mother, the only part where she was wrong was telling her neighbor "my baby is more important than your sleep". I mean I understand that's how you feel but you shouldn't be like that, it's not his fault you had a baby. But if she's looking for a solution then it's okay. It's not that big of a deal if she just gets an alarm that will vibrate on her hand, you can't not wake up after that. I hope everything will turn out okay for everybody. Let's stop looking for a******s and start looking for solutions 🗿
What do you suggest as a solution once the baby is home and crying at all hours of the night?
Load More Replies... He shouldn't live in an apartment if the sound of a CAT jumping off of the bed wakes him up. Hes the a*****e for only getting mad at any noise SHE makes. The fiance can get up at 3 am and he doesn't get mad at him. Sounds like she is trying her very best to be quiet but what is this guy going to do when she brings a crying baby home? You would think the hospital would make accommodations for her to still be staying at the hospital to breastfeed and its an unfortunate situation
Yeah I was on the fence until he complained about the cat jumping. He needs to get a box fan. The noise blocks out normal house hold noises. I love my fan. When it turns off I feel panicky. I know that sounds crazy, but sur flow is a must for me.
Load More Replies... Neighbour better get on looking for somewhere to move as it'll get 100x worse when the baby is back at home, even with carpets etc. We had proper, music studio grade sound proofing put on the walls and we can still hear next door neighbours singing, doing the hoovering and kids shouting
Sound proofing only reduces sound made inside the soundproofed room.
Load More Replies... Total non issue, sorry. Mum has to express. The end. What is he going to do hen she brings home a baby that cries at that time? This is insane. I would have reacted the same way.
NTA, it is a temporary situation that will remedy itself soon enough. If the neighbor is bothered by an alarm from above, then he needs to find a solution for himself. Will he expect cars not to travel by during his sleep hours? Will he expect the world to shut down because he is a light sleeper? No. He can suck it up, put in earplugs or move his bedroom while OP pumps and awaits carpet and new bed.
Apartment living = there will be noises at night. Full stop. I fortunately live in a building with concrete floors and ceilings but i can still hear the kids upstairs pitter-pattering around. If he is that sensitive then he should use earplugs or white noise or not live in a place where noise is a guarantee. Sounds harsh, but that's life.
Load More Replies... The poeple with the YTA are absolutely insane. It is the landlord's responsibility to assure adequate sound reduction and living conditions. They should be fighting the landlord on this, not each other. The fact is, she has the right to live in her home in a way that allows her to meet health needs for her and her family. She cannot change the milk situation. The downstairs neighbour can very easily wear noise-calleing headphones. They really need to move asap, bebecause if the neighbour is that much of an a*s and cannot even handle a short alarm in the night, they are not going to be able to handle a crying baby
He also has the right to live in his own home in a way that allows him safety and peace.
Load More Replies... I believe both parties could do more. The neighbor's complaint is valid, however if he's that light of a sleeper, I can't imagine how a car passing by outside or another neighbor coughing in their sleep won't wake him up as well. I'd suggest he look into earplugs or whatever. That said, OP could do more with regards to her alarm (I believe there's vibrating wristbands or watches that can serve as silent alarms) or put a blanket underneath her airbed to keep the noise down when moving around during her sleep. All in all, it sounds like a really tough situation for OP especially. Can't imagine the stress of having to care for an infant that turns blue once a day.
Did you not read the post before commenting? Because vibration isn't an option, and the OP is already doing more.
Load More Replies... Good lord, I am appaled to see so many people supporting the neighbour. People do really hate children. Can you imagine what it is like for the mother to have her baby in the NICU, not being able to take her home, worrying about her health? Worrying and feeling guilty because she is not producing enough milk? She has to express milk to save her baby, so she will do it. The neighbour shouldnt live in a flat if he is that sound sensitive. She even gave him earplugs! If the husband had to work at early mornings and had to set up his alarm to 3am , would people be so inconsiderate to him? Well, this is a worse situacion.
I don't think that most people hate children. People are tired of others thinking just because it involves a child or that they are a parent everything has to revolve around them. That said, I think this is a case of they live in an apartment with almost nothing to help sound carrying and the neighbor is going to just have to deal with the fact there is going to be noise of some type or another quite a bit.
Load More Replies... I was with the neighbour until she revealed how much of a nuisance he's being with his "light sleeping". I thought my mom was a very light sleeper until she confessed recently that for decades she wasn't getting much sleep, and actually lay awake at night for hours. That's why she would hear me colouring if I couldn't sleep or see the light of my lamp on with my door closed, down the hall. So, I call b******t on the neighbour claiming this new mom is his problem for not sleeping. Like, what will happen once her baby comes home and starts crying through the night? But I also think the new mom is being a bit selfish, too, in not considering her neighbours. Maybe a more softer, less jarring alarm might help, such as gentle music. Doesn't sound like it's a carpet vs. hard floor problem either, considering he's been hounding the family before. But to suggest he sleep with something in his ears is passive aggressive. I've done this before but woke up with a horrible earache.
Both the family and their neighbour have a right to living a comfortable, reasonably peaceful life in their suites. However, when you're living so close to your neighbour, that you can hear each others toilets flushing, and walking about, you have to take it as normal daily life noises. I had a downstairs neighbour who was so sensitive to my noise he came up complaining to me a few times. The 2nd time he done it I called the police because it was in the same evening. What was I doing? Washing dishes and putting them away at 5:30 in the afternoon. It was a month later he got the boot for repeat harassment. What this mom can do is log whenever she's being harassed by her neighbour. Also talk to her landlord what is going on and try to find solutions that will make everyone happy, amap.
Load More Replies... There is a reasonable expectation of quiet, there are also unreasonable demands in that regard, and some noises that must be tolerated as part and parcel of apartment living (these include flushing toilets, someone getting up to get a midnight snack, and yes, even an ill timed alarm, as neighbors are entitled to keep different schedules), so no, the neighbor's demands are more than a little unreasonable, not to mention that in a couple of months he is hopefully going to have to deal with a screaming baby at all hours, and good luck getting anyone to take his complaints seriously when it comes to that (babies/kids are loud, that is just a fact of life). On the other hand OP could have been a little more understanding, but it sounds like the problem has been going on for a while, and that the alarm is just the latest in a long line of complaints that border on the absurd (of course, the story is more than a little one-sided, so the situation might not be as unreasonable)
She is not the a*****e. It wont be long, till this Baby is a little toddler an will running trhough the appartment!!
Wth, people are saying the baby should die on Reddit? What the actual f? Also, as a mother: NTA. I understand neighbor but dude grow a pair (of good headphones) or move.
Earbuds/headphones. My hubby is super-sensitive to even a cat going "mew" on another floor, so we invested. He lseeps much better! OP is in a rotten spot, and the neighbor could just listen to white noise. I've had to do that many a year in the rathole apartments of my past, and it's what it is. Life.
Get some kind of headphones/ear buds you can sleep in. Have alarm go off directly in your ears. Problem solved?
This is the risk you take living in an apartment. I lived in a second floor apartment for 4 years & I swear the people above were bowling! Aggravating? Yes. I didn't complain because I chose to live there.
What I can't believe is that he has no problems with the fiance moving around at night. Why is it only the OP and her cat? This neighbor has bigger problems than just noise. He's either a misogynist or in love with her fiance. If I were her, I'd ask my fiance to have a talk with the guy. Let him know that in an apartment you'll hear noise and that he'd better find a way to deal with it, especially since they will be bring home their child soon. I'd also ask my fiance to to let the neighbor know that if he has a problem with me (OP), he's going to have to start talking to him (fiance).
Combo platter of AHs: Firstly, the people who build apartments with thin walls and floors with no insulation. Landlords who don’t pay to make them better. Why do they have fleas? Outdoor cat? Previous tenants? Can’t they stay with their parents until the fleas are gone and the baby is home? I feel like the neighbor has some kinda rapport w the husband so I wonder what the wife’s first interaction was. It’s not about the baby. It’s about her and the neighbor.
All I know is that lack of sleep is one of the most destructive, damaging and life altering things that can happen. It discolours your whole life and zaps all the joy from it. It doesn't matter if it's flats or houses, I've had noisy neighbours in both. Being woken up every night at 1am sounds like torture to me. They need carpets.
What kind of cheaply built apartment building do they live in? You can hear the upstairs neighbor's toilet flushing? I think both parties need to MOVE! Walls and floors that thin are unacceptable. Just wait till baby cries, or even worse, gets older and makes normal kid noises like laughing? God forbid anyone farts!
Easier said than done. Moving is expensive. Especially when there's a newborn involved.
Load More Replies... Whilst that is a terrible solution to guarantee an exhausted, sleep deprived parent waking up, the neighbour should be happy with the alarm - once the baby comes home - pretty sure you can't set babies to vibrate - it will be keeping everyone up far less predictably.
Load More Replies... One last thing, I am an apartment dweller and her lousy landlord needs to exterminate the entire building. Because if only a few people are fighting this infestation, bugs will run to spaces that have not been sprayed or not recently been sprayed. If he doesn't comply, the Health departments in some cities can be really helpful. God bless!, Mama and Daddy and especially Baby.
What a mess! This poor mother! I'm with writer who stated that she has enough on her shoulders with a very sick baby, fighting fleas in her apartment, having no bed to sleep in, one of the everyday comforts of our lives after a nasty day. And other comforts we take for granted. Don't forget, she is also very sleep deprived! Worry about her baby, worry about her own sleep, worry about her milk production, worry about her living conditions. And then a man, neighbor, asks her to take care of his needs!!! I've never read anything so ridiculous in my life!!! He's a grown man. He's responsible for himself and his wants and needs. She never took him to raise! He needs to work out his own a solution!!!
My suggestion would be a fitness tracker that also has an alarm function. My vibrates...and it will definitely wake OP up and it won't be audible to any neighbour.
I want to know why she had to rip up ALL her carpeting and get rid of ALL her furniture because of a flea problem. If she had an exterminator come and spray the place, couldn't they have done that to the carpeting and furniture once it was all cleaned?
Flea eggs embed themselves deep into carpets and fabrics. You have to vacuum every soft surface 2-3 times a day for a couple weeks after treatment.
Load More Replies... Two points- first, anybody who days OP Is TA needs to get a grip. Having an alarm set is not unreasonable noise. If the guy Is that sound-sensitive, He needs to move to a house. Just wait until the baby gets home. Second- what the hell are your apartment buildings made out of? A plain cardboard? I lived in several apartment buildings, and the only time i heard my neighbours was when they were partying... I would even say that my apartment building is quiter than my parents house...
You live in an apartment your going to get noise. I get he's having trouble getting woken up but honestly if a cat jumping wakes him up then he has the issue not OP. As for her last comment about people making nastu comments about her and her baby I have no idea how some people can be so cruel. I hope her and her baby are ok now
This is a tough situation, I won't go to a YTA or NTA but probably an ETA. She's not willing to find solution with the neighbor to fix the issue and he's pushing it a bit far and not being thoughtful.
Not having carpets or rugs makes noise travel much more - combining this with alarms at 1am is highly inconsiderate, especially when you already know your neigbour is a light sleeper. Yes, he should wear earplugs, but they can be uncomfortable for some people, and even painful. Try a light alarm, or sleep with headphones and have the alarm go to them. You can get soft headphones designed for sleeping. Deal with your flea problem - try a different exterminator, and check your cat, because your flea prevention methods may not be working, you may need to change to something else. When your flea problems are dealt with, put down a sound-proofing underlay under the new carpet. When your baby is home, noise is going to be an issue both ways - you may think that the neighbour being woken at all hours is his problem, but if he can't get back to sleep and retaliates by making noise and waking her, it's going to be your problem too.
The neighbor is absolutely entitled to their own home to be comfortable without having to do anything extra like wearing noise canceling stuff.
Indeed and the OP is entitled to the same, as well as keeping her daughter alive.
Load More Replies... I hate to inform you that fleas bite humans too XD They’ll jump right onto your pant leg or sock or shoe and happily travel into your home with you, if you walk around outside where there are fleas. My two cats are fully indoor and they still have to be on year-round flea control where I live, because there’s a chance I could bring fleas inside in my clothing just by walking around outside.
Load More Replies... Ops flea treatment seems extreme? Speaking as someone who can attract a flea or mosquito from a mile away and gets huge bites from them, I’ve never encountered a flea scenario where an exterminator couldnt handle them in one or two treatments. Plus, I don’t think removing carpets helps the problem since they aren’t a food source for fleas. Does OP mean termites or bedbugs? Moths? Those I know can be much more difficult to get rid of?
Another self entitled parent!! I also had a premie baby that was in hospital for awhile but I pumped during the day, so I call bs on having to pump in the hours you stated. Nobody has the right to disturb their neighbors.... PERIOD
After reading that her partner’s even LOUDER alarm and STOMPING do not elicit complaints from him, even in the middle of the night, I am wondering what, exactly, is going on with the downstairs neighbour. YTA OP. You have looked, and are looking at alternatives, and having a family member who routinely slept through sirens, I get that only certain things might wake you up. And, this is literally about the life your child and your caring for her properly. Living in an apartment with another apartment over you can suck, but in this case, you are trying to be careful, your neighbour has some weird prejudice against YOU (not your partner, obviously), and needs to grow the h-e-double-hockey-stick up. And install soundproofing on his ceiling if he can’t cope.
Nothing was mentioned about pets, so she should not have fleas, especially recurring fleas unless the previous tenant had flea-infested pets and the management never properly cleaned or replaced the carpet. If she does not have pets then she has grounds for a civil lawsuit against the management for all expenses. Also, if any other tenant has flea-infested pets, the fleas will spread to all units just like bed bugs.
Both parties could work harder to find a solution. I sleep with a bluetooth headband so that I can listen to white noise from my phone. OP could have something like this (all over Amazon) and then only they would hear the alarm. More importantly, when the baby comes home... all bets are off and the neighbor is going to have even more issues.
Literally the vibrating wristband is just the perfect solution for everybody. Reading some of these comments is really sad. Let's focus on some empathy? For the both of them. Just because you're not a light sleeper it doesn't mean he should f off because he is one. It's not like he chose this. I'm a light sleeper myself and it's really hard and sometimes depressing as heck when other alarms wake you up when you barely managed to fall asleep. It's really hard to fall back asleep, especially at 1 in the morning. Besides, we know nothing about his life either so let's not just judge him like that. Now, the mother, the only part where she was wrong was telling her neighbor "my baby is more important than your sleep". I mean I understand that's how you feel but you shouldn't be like that, it's not his fault you had a baby. But if she's looking for a solution then it's okay. It's not that big of a deal if she just gets an alarm that will vibrate on her hand, you can't not wake up after that. I hope everything will turn out okay for everybody. Let's stop looking for a******s and start looking for solutions 🗿
What do you suggest as a solution once the baby is home and crying at all hours of the night?
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