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Mom Expects Compassion From A Neighbor Who Can’t Sleep Because Of Her, Internet Is Divided
Mom Expects Compassion From A Neighbor Who Can’t Sleep Because Of Her, Internet Is Divided
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Mom Expects Compassion From A Neighbor Who Can’t Sleep Because Of Her, Internet Is Divided

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Living in an apartment building can present challenges, as you need to consider your neighbors and can’t freely engage in activities like playing loud music at night, shouting, or making noise by jumping.

Reddit user u/sushikat323 had a similar experience while diligently extracting milk multiple times a day for her premature baby daughter. However, a neighbor complained about the noise from her apartment at night.

Is she wrong for prioritizing her child’s well-being over her neighbor’s sleep? Join us as we explore the emotional rollercoaster of parenthood and the difficult choices that sometimes come with it.

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    Woman has a premature daughter and been extracting milk throughout the night which made noise

    The neighbor below was not happy about it as it ruined his night sleep

    Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Alexander Grey (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)

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    The woman answered some concerns given by the readers

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    Image credits: sushikat323

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    Raising a child poses many challenges

    As you grow up, you may not fully grasp the multitude of challenging choices your parents face until you become a parent yourself. Suddenly, your responsibilities shift, and you find yourself making significant decisions for your family. This can be both overwhelming and stressful, especially when it comes to the most crucial parental choices you’ll encounter. What are these decisions, and how can you ensure you make the right ones?

    As a parent, you’re the one in charge because your child is young and still learning about the world. It’s your responsibility to guide and care for them. As your child grows into their late teenage years, they edge closer to adulthood, and it becomes necessary to grant them more independence and decision-making power. Figuring out when to do this can be challenging, as there are pitfalls on both ends of the spectrum.

    Some parents give their kids full control over their choices as early as 13 or 14, resulting in recklessness and poor decisions. Conversely, waiting until they’re 21 can lead to resentment. The best approach is to gradually increase their freedom and responsibility during their teenage years. Show them that you trust them to make decisions for themselves, and this trust will naturally evolve until they can manage everything without constant supervision.

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    In addition to making decisions for your children, all parents eventually face a situation where they must make important choices for their own parents. At a certain point, elderly parents may reach a stage where they can no longer live independently due to age or illness. This forces you to make a decision about their living situation. Should they move in with you, or should they transition to a care facility where they can receive more assistance? It’s a challenging decision because you might feel like you’re “passing them off” if you opt for the latter.

    However, it’s a wise idea to consult with senior living advisors who can assist you in finding suitable options for your elderly parents. Living in a care facility can often provide them with the attention and support they require. Regardless of the choice you make, it’s undeniably a difficult decision that many parents worldwide must confront.

    These are among life’s most challenging decisions, and while contemplating them can be painful, hopefully, this post provides some insights on how to navigate them.

     

    Image credits: Daiga Ellaby (not the actual photo)

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    The commentators shared some information

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    Some people thought she was wrong

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    Whereas some of them thought compassion should come first

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    Kristina Korsakaite

    Kristina Korsakaite

    Writer, Community member

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    Kristina Korsakaite is a writer at Bored Panda. She is a psychology graduate from Edinburgh Napier University, though never worked as a psychologist. Living and working in Greece, Athens, she enjoys sun and sea more than anything. She is a strong advocate for animal welfare and her cat, Oliver is her pride and joy. A nice glass of freddo espresso and a plate of pastitsio will always put a smile on her face.

    Read less »
    Kristina Korsakaite

    Kristina Korsakaite

    Writer, Community member

    Kristina Korsakaite is a writer at Bored Panda. She is a psychology graduate from Edinburgh Napier University, though never worked as a psychologist. Living and working in Greece, Athens, she enjoys sun and sea more than anything. She is a strong advocate for animal welfare and her cat, Oliver is her pride and joy. A nice glass of freddo espresso and a plate of pastitsio will always put a smile on her face.

    What do you think ?
    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He shouldn't live in an apartment if the sound of a CAT jumping off of the bed wakes him up. Hes the a*****e for only getting mad at any noise SHE makes. The fiance can get up at 3 am and he doesn't get mad at him. Sounds like she is trying her very best to be quiet but what is this guy going to do when she brings a crying baby home? You would think the hospital would make accommodations for her to still be staying at the hospital to breastfeed and its an unfortunate situation

    Beck
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I was on the fence until he complained about the cat jumping. He needs to get a box fan. The noise blocks out normal house hold noises. I love my fan. When it turns off I feel panicky. I know that sounds crazy, but sur flow is a must for me.

    Load More Replies...
    Andrea Squires
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Total non issue, sorry. Mum has to express. The end. What is he going to do hen she brings home a baby that cries at that time? This is insane. I would have reacted the same way.

    RP
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The poeple with the YTA are absolutely insane. It is the landlord's responsibility to assure adequate sound reduction and living conditions. They should be fighting the landlord on this, not each other. The fact is, she has the right to live in her home in a way that allows her to meet health needs for her and her family. She cannot change the milk situation. The downstairs neighbour can very easily wear noise-calleing headphones. They really need to move asap, bebecause if the neighbour is that much of an a*s and cannot even handle a short alarm in the night, they are not going to be able to handle a crying baby

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He also has the right to live in his own home in a way that allows him safety and peace.

    Load More Replies...
    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe both parties could do more. The neighbor's complaint is valid, however if he's that light of a sleeper, I can't imagine how a car passing by outside or another neighbor coughing in their sleep won't wake him up as well. I'd suggest he look into earplugs or whatever. That said, OP could do more with regards to her alarm (I believe there's vibrating wristbands or watches that can serve as silent alarms) or put a blanket underneath her airbed to keep the noise down when moving around during her sleep. All in all, it sounds like a really tough situation for OP especially. Can't imagine the stress of having to care for an infant that turns blue once a day.

    grotesqueer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you not read the post before commenting? Because vibration isn't an option, and the OP is already doing more.

    Load More Replies...
    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA, it is a temporary situation that will remedy itself soon enough. If the neighbor is bothered by an alarm from above, then he needs to find a solution for himself. Will he expect cars not to travel by during his sleep hours? Will he expect the world to shut down because he is a light sleeper? No. He can suck it up, put in earplugs or move his bedroom while OP pumps and awaits carpet and new bed.

    stupidMonkey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apartment living = there will be noises at night. Full stop. I fortunately live in a building with concrete floors and ceilings but i can still hear the kids upstairs pitter-pattering around. If he is that sensitive then he should use earplugs or white noise or not live in a place where noise is a guarantee. Sounds harsh, but that's life.

    Load More Replies...
    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was with the neighbour until she revealed how much of a nuisance he's being with his "light sleeping". I thought my mom was a very light sleeper until she confessed recently that for decades she wasn't getting much sleep, and actually lay awake at night for hours. That's why she would hear me colouring if I couldn't sleep or see the light of my lamp on with my door closed, down the hall. So, I call b******t on the neighbour claiming this new mom is his problem for not sleeping. Like, what will happen once her baby comes home and starts crying through the night? But I also think the new mom is being a bit selfish, too, in not considering her neighbours. Maybe a more softer, less jarring alarm might help, such as gentle music. Doesn't sound like it's a carpet vs. hard floor problem either, considering he's been hounding the family before. But to suggest he sleep with something in his ears is passive aggressive. I've done this before but woke up with a horrible earache.

    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Both the family and their neighbour have a right to living a comfortable, reasonably peaceful life in their suites. However, when you're living so close to your neighbour, that you can hear each others toilets flushing, and walking about, you have to take it as normal daily life noises. I had a downstairs neighbour who was so sensitive to my noise he came up complaining to me a few times. The 2nd time he done it I called the police because it was in the same evening. What was I doing? Washing dishes and putting them away at 5:30 in the afternoon. It was a month later he got the boot for repeat harassment. What this mom can do is log whenever she's being harassed by her neighbour. Also talk to her landlord what is going on and try to find solutions that will make everyone happy, amap.

    Load More Replies...
    Luiza NP
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good lord, I am appaled to see so many people supporting the neighbour. People do really hate children. Can you imagine what it is like for the mother to have her baby in the NICU, not being able to take her home, worrying about her health? Worrying and feeling guilty because she is not producing enough milk? She has to express milk to save her baby, so she will do it. The neighbour shouldnt live in a flat if he is that sound sensitive. She even gave him earplugs! If the husband had to work at early mornings and had to set up his alarm to 3am , would people be so inconsiderate to him? Well, this is a worse situacion.

    Megan Humphries
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think that most people hate children. People are tired of others thinking just because it involves a child or that they are a parent everything has to revolve around them. That said, I think this is a case of they live in an apartment with almost nothing to help sound carrying and the neighbor is going to just have to deal with the fact there is going to be noise of some type or another quite a bit.

    Load More Replies...
    Alec
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a reasonable expectation of quiet, there are also unreasonable demands in that regard, and some noises that must be tolerated as part and parcel of apartment living (these include flushing toilets, someone getting up to get a midnight snack, and yes, even an ill timed alarm, as neighbors are entitled to keep different schedules), so no, the neighbor's demands are more than a little unreasonable, not to mention that in a couple of months he is hopefully going to have to deal with a screaming baby at all hours, and good luck getting anyone to take his complaints seriously when it comes to that (babies/kids are loud, that is just a fact of life). On the other hand OP could have been a little more understanding, but it sounds like the problem has been going on for a while, and that the alarm is just the latest in a long line of complaints that border on the absurd (of course, the story is more than a little one-sided, so the situation might not be as unreasonable)

    Anouk T
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Neughbour is a bully honestly complaining about toilet flushing noise? She needs to ignore him I feel really sorry for her it’s stressful situation as it is and he’s adding to the pile

    Lesley Christie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All I know is that lack of sleep is one of the most destructive, damaging and life altering things that can happen. It discolours your whole life and zaps all the joy from it. It doesn't matter if it's flats or houses, I've had noisy neighbours in both. Being woken up every night at 1am sounds like torture to me. They need carpets.

    Load More Comments
    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He shouldn't live in an apartment if the sound of a CAT jumping off of the bed wakes him up. Hes the a*****e for only getting mad at any noise SHE makes. The fiance can get up at 3 am and he doesn't get mad at him. Sounds like she is trying her very best to be quiet but what is this guy going to do when she brings a crying baby home? You would think the hospital would make accommodations for her to still be staying at the hospital to breastfeed and its an unfortunate situation

    Beck
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I was on the fence until he complained about the cat jumping. He needs to get a box fan. The noise blocks out normal house hold noises. I love my fan. When it turns off I feel panicky. I know that sounds crazy, but sur flow is a must for me.

    Load More Replies...
    Andrea Squires
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Total non issue, sorry. Mum has to express. The end. What is he going to do hen she brings home a baby that cries at that time? This is insane. I would have reacted the same way.

    RP
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The poeple with the YTA are absolutely insane. It is the landlord's responsibility to assure adequate sound reduction and living conditions. They should be fighting the landlord on this, not each other. The fact is, she has the right to live in her home in a way that allows her to meet health needs for her and her family. She cannot change the milk situation. The downstairs neighbour can very easily wear noise-calleing headphones. They really need to move asap, bebecause if the neighbour is that much of an a*s and cannot even handle a short alarm in the night, they are not going to be able to handle a crying baby

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He also has the right to live in his own home in a way that allows him safety and peace.

    Load More Replies...
    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe both parties could do more. The neighbor's complaint is valid, however if he's that light of a sleeper, I can't imagine how a car passing by outside or another neighbor coughing in their sleep won't wake him up as well. I'd suggest he look into earplugs or whatever. That said, OP could do more with regards to her alarm (I believe there's vibrating wristbands or watches that can serve as silent alarms) or put a blanket underneath her airbed to keep the noise down when moving around during her sleep. All in all, it sounds like a really tough situation for OP especially. Can't imagine the stress of having to care for an infant that turns blue once a day.

    grotesqueer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you not read the post before commenting? Because vibration isn't an option, and the OP is already doing more.

    Load More Replies...
    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA, it is a temporary situation that will remedy itself soon enough. If the neighbor is bothered by an alarm from above, then he needs to find a solution for himself. Will he expect cars not to travel by during his sleep hours? Will he expect the world to shut down because he is a light sleeper? No. He can suck it up, put in earplugs or move his bedroom while OP pumps and awaits carpet and new bed.

    stupidMonkey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apartment living = there will be noises at night. Full stop. I fortunately live in a building with concrete floors and ceilings but i can still hear the kids upstairs pitter-pattering around. If he is that sensitive then he should use earplugs or white noise or not live in a place where noise is a guarantee. Sounds harsh, but that's life.

    Load More Replies...
    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was with the neighbour until she revealed how much of a nuisance he's being with his "light sleeping". I thought my mom was a very light sleeper until she confessed recently that for decades she wasn't getting much sleep, and actually lay awake at night for hours. That's why she would hear me colouring if I couldn't sleep or see the light of my lamp on with my door closed, down the hall. So, I call b******t on the neighbour claiming this new mom is his problem for not sleeping. Like, what will happen once her baby comes home and starts crying through the night? But I also think the new mom is being a bit selfish, too, in not considering her neighbours. Maybe a more softer, less jarring alarm might help, such as gentle music. Doesn't sound like it's a carpet vs. hard floor problem either, considering he's been hounding the family before. But to suggest he sleep with something in his ears is passive aggressive. I've done this before but woke up with a horrible earache.

    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Both the family and their neighbour have a right to living a comfortable, reasonably peaceful life in their suites. However, when you're living so close to your neighbour, that you can hear each others toilets flushing, and walking about, you have to take it as normal daily life noises. I had a downstairs neighbour who was so sensitive to my noise he came up complaining to me a few times. The 2nd time he done it I called the police because it was in the same evening. What was I doing? Washing dishes and putting them away at 5:30 in the afternoon. It was a month later he got the boot for repeat harassment. What this mom can do is log whenever she's being harassed by her neighbour. Also talk to her landlord what is going on and try to find solutions that will make everyone happy, amap.

    Load More Replies...
    Luiza NP
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good lord, I am appaled to see so many people supporting the neighbour. People do really hate children. Can you imagine what it is like for the mother to have her baby in the NICU, not being able to take her home, worrying about her health? Worrying and feeling guilty because she is not producing enough milk? She has to express milk to save her baby, so she will do it. The neighbour shouldnt live in a flat if he is that sound sensitive. She even gave him earplugs! If the husband had to work at early mornings and had to set up his alarm to 3am , would people be so inconsiderate to him? Well, this is a worse situacion.

    Megan Humphries
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think that most people hate children. People are tired of others thinking just because it involves a child or that they are a parent everything has to revolve around them. That said, I think this is a case of they live in an apartment with almost nothing to help sound carrying and the neighbor is going to just have to deal with the fact there is going to be noise of some type or another quite a bit.

    Load More Replies...
    Alec
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a reasonable expectation of quiet, there are also unreasonable demands in that regard, and some noises that must be tolerated as part and parcel of apartment living (these include flushing toilets, someone getting up to get a midnight snack, and yes, even an ill timed alarm, as neighbors are entitled to keep different schedules), so no, the neighbor's demands are more than a little unreasonable, not to mention that in a couple of months he is hopefully going to have to deal with a screaming baby at all hours, and good luck getting anyone to take his complaints seriously when it comes to that (babies/kids are loud, that is just a fact of life). On the other hand OP could have been a little more understanding, but it sounds like the problem has been going on for a while, and that the alarm is just the latest in a long line of complaints that border on the absurd (of course, the story is more than a little one-sided, so the situation might not be as unreasonable)

    Anouk T
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Neughbour is a bully honestly complaining about toilet flushing noise? She needs to ignore him I feel really sorry for her it’s stressful situation as it is and he’s adding to the pile

    Lesley Christie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All I know is that lack of sleep is one of the most destructive, damaging and life altering things that can happen. It discolours your whole life and zaps all the joy from it. It doesn't matter if it's flats or houses, I've had noisy neighbours in both. Being woken up every night at 1am sounds like torture to me. They need carpets.

    Load More Comments
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