Woman Gets Dramatic When Her Lies Were Exposed After Roommate Installs A Fridge Camera
Interview With AuthorBoundaries are vital for any relationship—whether professional, romantic, or other—to flourish. But when it comes to food, boundaries aren’t just important, they’re sacrosanct. You simply do not steal another person’s food! In the immortal words of Joey Tribbiani from the hit TV series Friends, “Joey doesn’t share food!” and you shouldn’t have to put up with anyone who takes yours without asking.
Alas, some food thieves have no morals and will continue to pilfer and pillage your carefully prepared meals and precious milk without any shame, even when they know someone’s getting suspicious of them.
Redditor u/Not_entirely_sure, a 20-year-old living in a shared house with 3 other women, asked the AITA community on Reddit for a verdict regarding a snack-snatching situation. She explained that someone has been constantly stealing her food from the shared refrigerator. The woman finally had enough and secretly installed a fridge camera. Scroll down to have a read about what happened next, in the redditor’s own words. When you’re done with the story, let us know in the comments who you think was in the wrong here.
The author of the post, u/Not_entirely_sure_, was kind enough to answer Bored Panda’s questions about the fridge drama. I didn’t think my house drama would be so interesting to so many, especially compared to some of the other crazy stories you see on the AITA sub,” she told us. “However, I think pretty much everyone who’s been in a houseshare/had roommates has had some bad experiences. So perhaps that’s why a lot of people were invested! I absolutely did not expect so much attention from Reddit.” Read on for Bored Panda’s full interview with the author of the story.
When she realized that someone kept stealing her food from the communal fridge, one woman decided to catch the thief red-handed
Image credits: nrd (not the actual photo)
Here’s what she did and what happened next
Image credits: Not_entirely_sure__
The redditor revealed to Bored Panda that they’re going to let things unfold “a bit more” for a few more days and then they’ll post an official update to the story on Reddit. I can’t be the only one who can’t wait to see how things develop.
We were interested to get the redditor’s take on why somebody would go about stealing someone else’s food. “I think there’s a lot of reasons. A lot of the time I think people just do it for convenience or affordability, thinking they won’t get caught. Or, especially in shared houses, people think there won’t be consequences to their actions even if they are caught, as opposed to stealing from a shop or business,” u/Not_entirely_sure_ told us. “Sometimes, there is more a genuine need, though I can tell you this definitely wasn’t Kate’s case.”
However, putting a stop to food theft isn’t easy in a shared house situation. “The best way is by trying to reason with housemates and establishing a shared understanding you won’t take each other’s stuff, but this doesn’t always work,” the redditor mused. “A variety of other good suggestions were given on Reddit, such as getting a separate mini-fridge. Personally, I think the best way is to live with people you know to not be thieves, like friends, if possible. Prevention is better than the cure.”
As it turns out, it was the housemate who always got defensive when the topic of theft came about, ‘Kate,’ who was caught red-handed (or rather food-handed). She had a huge emotional meltdown and accused the redditor of violating her privacy.
One of the housemates also sided with the angry thief, which in turn inspired redditor u/Not_entirely_sure to start the AITA post in the first place. She was no longer sure whether or not she did the right thing because she was being blamed quite a bit.
However, the AITA community has a habit of giving people an outsider’s perspective and presenting a more objective, cold, rational view of the situation. This time was no exception. Redditors stressed the fact that the author of the post should not apologize and should not engage with the accusations.
Or, as one internet user accurately and sarcastically put it, “How dare you procure evidence of my stealing to back off your charges? This is an outrage!!” Personally, I agree that open and honest communication has to happen: the aggressor has to know that what she’s doing is wrong and this needs to stop. Now. She might try to change the script and turn the tables so you’re the one feeling guilty, but you have to stay firm and on message: this needs to stop. Now!
Certified relationship coach Alex Scot explained to Bored Panda that the closer you are to a person, the more flexible your boundaries ought to be to make them sustainable. So, for example, we would give our romantic partners the benefit of boundaries that are more flexible than those of our roommates or our colleagues.
Nonetheless, the expert highlighted the need to have some sorts of boundaries set up even with the people closest to us, emotionally.
“Without them, we live our lives at the expense of ourselves. The mindset for many when it comes to setting boundaries is that they feel selfish, or that they aren’t being a good partner when they implement them, so they avoid doing it altogether,” she told Bored Panda that boundaries are “extremely important.”
Not having boundaries can lead to feelings of resentment and one person (or even both) feeling overwhelmed. “Boundaries are there for us to be able to take care of and to protect ourselves so that we can show up and operate within our lives as successfully as possible.”
Some internet users gave the author of the story some spot-on advice on how to proceed
The vast majority of people thought that the woman did nothing wrong
However, others had a more nuanced opinion
No matter who is right or who is wrong, you feel uncomfortable enough to install a camera where you live. That is a red flag that you need to find somewhere else to live and other people to live with.
Yes. I have unfortunately been in this situation more than once. If you're putting locks on everything and buying cameras, it's time to move.
Load More Replies...I'm baffled by the ESH argument ("privacy", "filming in your own home"). No, there is NOTHING personal that's filmed. You don't get much more to see than a hand and a piece of clothes to identify the person, the occasional part of a face... It's things you do in the SHARED part of the house so not in your private space. Just like you shouldn't be getting it on with your partner on the shared sofa, consider acts in the shared space to be public. And it was after repeated bringing up of the situation --- 100% certain all other three knew who it was, either as a fact or by deduction/elimination.
Actually, Rissie, that's exactly what people are allowed to do in communal spaces. A space that is accessible to multiple people is a space where no one individual has an expectation of privacy within that group of people. That's literally the difference between "private" and "not private" - a private space is one where an individual can legitimately exclude others. Neither the kitchen and the fridge are places where that's the case.
Load More Replies...Move. Now. Let the idiots who sided with the food thief deal with having their stuff stolen, and I bet she doesn't stop at food.
Agreed, the others are siding with 'Kate' because they know one of you two has to go and that you're the pushover so it's going to be you; they're putting it one extra thick to show loyalty to a semi-stable sneak. (I was going for 'sociopath', because it fits the pattern -- even when pointed out you continue stealing as you think you're untouchable, then explode when not).
Load More Replies...She's the one who shouldn't feel safe at her own home! Her stuff were being stolen from her own freaking fridge!!!! "Kate" and her friend should leave, she's a thieve and her friend allows it.
Agreed. I'd feel more unsafe living with someone who steals from me regularly and thinks nothing of it that living with someone who put a camera in the fridge.
Load More Replies...Don't tell me to get proof and then get mad when I go and get proof! Lol.
Kate is a manipulative narcissist who was and is gaslighting you to deflect. A favorite move of narcissistic POS. She is in the wrong but flipping it on you. These people aren't your friends and I'd move as soon as possible.
"I DOnT FeEl SafE~" oh f**k off pretty sure OP doesn't feel safe living with a thief, either.
So... Would it have been better to lace the food with a strong laxative? Figure out who's stealing that way?
And it wouldn't be "food tampering" if it's your own food.
Load More Replies...She sounds like a trump supporter. This is trump's exact tactic. Steal, commit crimes, get caught, then get outraged, blame others, and create fake news. These people hate personal accountability. She sounds like a sociopath.
I remember life at 20. Living is expensive, so roommates make sense (and getting upset about having to constantly replace your own food!). I imagine that "just move" isn't an option. NTA, and frankly Kate doesn't get to take the moral high ground when they are a proven thief. When theft if a problem that you've complained about, and they've denied then they don't have grounds to feel bad when you take steps to investigate.
Nope. Kate is the ASSHOLE. Point👏🏻blank👏🏻period👏🏻 shes gaslighting you.
The person who thinks girls living together routinely walk arou d in communal spaces partially or fully undressed needs to learn the difference between adult films and reality.
I guess, Juppittance is actually Kate defending herself in the comments, lol. Your logic blows my mind.
as someone who lives with a brother who constantly steals my food, this is a fantastic idea.
now I would get a little fridge for my room because people don't like to be busted for their lies. make sure it locks because she may now start messing with your food. you are not the a-hole, but because of what you had to do to find out the truth things around there are going to be on edge. maybe you could have snuck down and caught her in the act, but now to have peace you may have to move. I don't think that it was so bad because the camera was only inside the fridge. if people are not doing anything wrong then they would not have a problem with the issue at hand.
I would have made a batch of fresh brownies with ex-lax, put them in the fridge and then waited. I wouldn't have needed a camera. It would have been amusing watching her "food poisoning" and seeing who she tried to blame that on. LOL!
Not one of these 20 somethings own the house , so on an even field.Kate could move or OP. Other stories in regards to stolen food involve the victim tainting the food to cause the thief to get sick--- and this twit is worried about getting caught on camera. If she got sick, would she learn to leave foods alone?
The kitchen is not a private part of the house. It is a common area. There's no right to privacy in it when you have roomates. I had someone stealing from me as well and understand how horrible it feels on top of being treated as if you were a 'bitch' for complaining. I would feel weird however if i got up in the middle of the night in my undies and went to grab a quick drink and found out my roomate had that on video. It's a little iffy. I think a better thing to do would have been to warn them ahead of time that you were going to start video monitoring your items. If they didn't like it then I'd make the argument that you were going to be posting a list of each item used or lost and making a tallly that you would then take off your portion of the rent, and everyone else can chip in to make up the difference since they feel it's 'such a violation'. The others would have had less problem with it if they knew they were going to have to start paying for a thief. Then I'd move asap!
I find it interesting that Kate was only stealing the food from one person. Why was that the case? Also you are perfectly entitled to install a camera in your own home and in your own fridge. There is no expectation of privacy in a communal area. If it was installed in a bedroom that would be very different.
It's not like she put a camera in the bathroom. It is inside the fridge, they are only pissed because they know they got caught lying and being a POS. Anyone who says you are the assshole at all, is stupid.
She wont feel safe in her home again after stealing all your food and lying? Lmao! GTFOOH! That’s some brazen ass gas lighting! She needs to move out. If I were you I’d just get a small fridge and put it in my room with a lock. Problem solved.
Ok, I am a little contrasted. I think what OP did wasn't wrong, but there was something better she could've done instead. She could have told everybody that she was putting a camera in the fridge to see why her food is going missing, and that most likely would have put a stop to Kate's actions. However, she wanted to make sure it was Kate that was stealing the food and not somebody (or something) else. So she kept it a secret. We all know that she probably wouldn't have put a camera in there to catch anyone missing any clothes or to use for any creepy purpose at all, so I'm leaning more towards NTA.
And for what it's worth, if Kate says that she feels unsafe with a camera kept in the refrigerator, OP has every right to say that she feels unsafe living with a thief!
Load More Replies...Did they not read that the camera was in the fridge. You did nothing wrong. Your roommates were not opening the fridge naked. It wasn't an invasion of privacy. Kate needs to apologize and pay up.
This makes me hink about fake cameras. I wanted toy buy a fske security camera with motion detection for my front door, and read about how fake cameras raised emplyee's performance in some businnes and lower crime in some streets. Being that said, the most drama free solution would be to install the camera, tell every roomate you have, and then the problem would have disapeared by itself. She may not find who did it, but her food would be untouched.
I agree with the commenter who said she should have let them all know that she is installing a camera in the fridge, to see who is stealing the food. In saying and doing that, she would have stopped knowing she would be on camera and you also don't get backlash for not telling them about the camera.
And eventually she would’ve had moments when she forgot and stole the food before realizing it—-since she’d already developed the habit—- and be caught red-handed that way.
Load More Replies...ESH. It's probably too late to try this, but they could have tried the fridge lock box, like a commenter suggested in the article, or a better organized system for all the roommates sharing all the groceries. Or OP could have asked Zoe to talk to Kate about it before resorting to using the camera. I might have even opted to do something as drastic as buy a mini fridge for my own locked bedroom before I bought a fridge cam because the fridge cam seems like such an incendiary and violating idea. I wonder why OP didn't like Kate to begin with.
Hasn’t anybody ever just rubbed you the wrong way? Ever got a bad feeling about someone? Some people can pick up on stuff like someone not being trustworthy. Zoe, on the other hand, has been successfully gaslighted by Kate. Sara is actually wise to stay out of the argument. Time to go apartment-hunting, either with Sara or without her. All this kind of underhanded s**t and unnecessary drama is part of the reason I stopped living with roommates by about age 22—I was on my own, working full time, at 18. I had had enough .after 4 years and got a small place of my own. It cost more, money-wise, but the autonomy and peace of mind was well WELL worth it.
Load More Replies...The other roommates are victims of refrigerator voyeurism. If I’m an innocent party And your recording me some s**t is going down. So many ways for this to be resolved. Common area or not. Your boss at your first big girl job isn’t gonna let you film anybody raiding the office refrigerator. My milk is gone, time to break the law. Theft sucks but you can’t screw everyone over for your pursuit. If I was accused and innocent I would start eating her food in front of her. Did she give the footage too the innocent? Some freaks probably have a fridge fetish.
I hope you can afford to find a new place as moving out is the best solution at this point. Also, lesson learned to not invade other's privacy for your own benefits. Kate is a thief, but it does not give you the rights to film others without their consent. I feel this is just a very immature and unhealthy group of girls all around; remember two wrongs don't make things right.
I'd have gotten the proof from the camera, then I would've cleared everything off my shelf in the fridge, and replaced it with a bunch of food I had tampered with. i.e. i'd have a carton of milk there and add a squirt of eye drops - enjoy the horrendous gut pain, i'd take cheese and rub some fecal mater all over the outside of it then wipe off the excess - wee bit of diarrhea-causing ecoli in there, I'd put donuts in the fridge that are filled with horseradish. Give it a week and she won't touch your food again. Play the bitc* back. And before anyone gets all uppity about causing this woman sickness - fuc* her, you used to get your arm cut off in Arab countries for theft, this is LIGHT punishment.
On the off chance this isn’t mere revenge fantasy, DON’T EVER TAMPER WITH THE FOOD! That’s REALLY serious criminal charges waiting to happen. You can’t argue lack of intent to harm if your target is hospitalized or dies as a result of your “additions”. Why else would you have tampered with the food? You could end up being imprisoned for murder because it is a reasonable assumption that someone COULD die from ingesting fecal matter. You premeditated causing the target to do so. “But I didn’t mean that to happen” is a very poor defence.
Load More Replies...No matter who is right or who is wrong, you feel uncomfortable enough to install a camera where you live. That is a red flag that you need to find somewhere else to live and other people to live with.
Yes. I have unfortunately been in this situation more than once. If you're putting locks on everything and buying cameras, it's time to move.
Load More Replies...I'm baffled by the ESH argument ("privacy", "filming in your own home"). No, there is NOTHING personal that's filmed. You don't get much more to see than a hand and a piece of clothes to identify the person, the occasional part of a face... It's things you do in the SHARED part of the house so not in your private space. Just like you shouldn't be getting it on with your partner on the shared sofa, consider acts in the shared space to be public. And it was after repeated bringing up of the situation --- 100% certain all other three knew who it was, either as a fact or by deduction/elimination.
Actually, Rissie, that's exactly what people are allowed to do in communal spaces. A space that is accessible to multiple people is a space where no one individual has an expectation of privacy within that group of people. That's literally the difference between "private" and "not private" - a private space is one where an individual can legitimately exclude others. Neither the kitchen and the fridge are places where that's the case.
Load More Replies...Move. Now. Let the idiots who sided with the food thief deal with having their stuff stolen, and I bet she doesn't stop at food.
Agreed, the others are siding with 'Kate' because they know one of you two has to go and that you're the pushover so it's going to be you; they're putting it one extra thick to show loyalty to a semi-stable sneak. (I was going for 'sociopath', because it fits the pattern -- even when pointed out you continue stealing as you think you're untouchable, then explode when not).
Load More Replies...She's the one who shouldn't feel safe at her own home! Her stuff were being stolen from her own freaking fridge!!!! "Kate" and her friend should leave, she's a thieve and her friend allows it.
Agreed. I'd feel more unsafe living with someone who steals from me regularly and thinks nothing of it that living with someone who put a camera in the fridge.
Load More Replies...Don't tell me to get proof and then get mad when I go and get proof! Lol.
Kate is a manipulative narcissist who was and is gaslighting you to deflect. A favorite move of narcissistic POS. She is in the wrong but flipping it on you. These people aren't your friends and I'd move as soon as possible.
"I DOnT FeEl SafE~" oh f**k off pretty sure OP doesn't feel safe living with a thief, either.
So... Would it have been better to lace the food with a strong laxative? Figure out who's stealing that way?
And it wouldn't be "food tampering" if it's your own food.
Load More Replies...She sounds like a trump supporter. This is trump's exact tactic. Steal, commit crimes, get caught, then get outraged, blame others, and create fake news. These people hate personal accountability. She sounds like a sociopath.
I remember life at 20. Living is expensive, so roommates make sense (and getting upset about having to constantly replace your own food!). I imagine that "just move" isn't an option. NTA, and frankly Kate doesn't get to take the moral high ground when they are a proven thief. When theft if a problem that you've complained about, and they've denied then they don't have grounds to feel bad when you take steps to investigate.
Nope. Kate is the ASSHOLE. Point👏🏻blank👏🏻period👏🏻 shes gaslighting you.
The person who thinks girls living together routinely walk arou d in communal spaces partially or fully undressed needs to learn the difference between adult films and reality.
I guess, Juppittance is actually Kate defending herself in the comments, lol. Your logic blows my mind.
as someone who lives with a brother who constantly steals my food, this is a fantastic idea.
now I would get a little fridge for my room because people don't like to be busted for their lies. make sure it locks because she may now start messing with your food. you are not the a-hole, but because of what you had to do to find out the truth things around there are going to be on edge. maybe you could have snuck down and caught her in the act, but now to have peace you may have to move. I don't think that it was so bad because the camera was only inside the fridge. if people are not doing anything wrong then they would not have a problem with the issue at hand.
I would have made a batch of fresh brownies with ex-lax, put them in the fridge and then waited. I wouldn't have needed a camera. It would have been amusing watching her "food poisoning" and seeing who she tried to blame that on. LOL!
Not one of these 20 somethings own the house , so on an even field.Kate could move or OP. Other stories in regards to stolen food involve the victim tainting the food to cause the thief to get sick--- and this twit is worried about getting caught on camera. If she got sick, would she learn to leave foods alone?
The kitchen is not a private part of the house. It is a common area. There's no right to privacy in it when you have roomates. I had someone stealing from me as well and understand how horrible it feels on top of being treated as if you were a 'bitch' for complaining. I would feel weird however if i got up in the middle of the night in my undies and went to grab a quick drink and found out my roomate had that on video. It's a little iffy. I think a better thing to do would have been to warn them ahead of time that you were going to start video monitoring your items. If they didn't like it then I'd make the argument that you were going to be posting a list of each item used or lost and making a tallly that you would then take off your portion of the rent, and everyone else can chip in to make up the difference since they feel it's 'such a violation'. The others would have had less problem with it if they knew they were going to have to start paying for a thief. Then I'd move asap!
I find it interesting that Kate was only stealing the food from one person. Why was that the case? Also you are perfectly entitled to install a camera in your own home and in your own fridge. There is no expectation of privacy in a communal area. If it was installed in a bedroom that would be very different.
It's not like she put a camera in the bathroom. It is inside the fridge, they are only pissed because they know they got caught lying and being a POS. Anyone who says you are the assshole at all, is stupid.
She wont feel safe in her home again after stealing all your food and lying? Lmao! GTFOOH! That’s some brazen ass gas lighting! She needs to move out. If I were you I’d just get a small fridge and put it in my room with a lock. Problem solved.
Ok, I am a little contrasted. I think what OP did wasn't wrong, but there was something better she could've done instead. She could have told everybody that she was putting a camera in the fridge to see why her food is going missing, and that most likely would have put a stop to Kate's actions. However, she wanted to make sure it was Kate that was stealing the food and not somebody (or something) else. So she kept it a secret. We all know that she probably wouldn't have put a camera in there to catch anyone missing any clothes or to use for any creepy purpose at all, so I'm leaning more towards NTA.
And for what it's worth, if Kate says that she feels unsafe with a camera kept in the refrigerator, OP has every right to say that she feels unsafe living with a thief!
Load More Replies...Did they not read that the camera was in the fridge. You did nothing wrong. Your roommates were not opening the fridge naked. It wasn't an invasion of privacy. Kate needs to apologize and pay up.
This makes me hink about fake cameras. I wanted toy buy a fske security camera with motion detection for my front door, and read about how fake cameras raised emplyee's performance in some businnes and lower crime in some streets. Being that said, the most drama free solution would be to install the camera, tell every roomate you have, and then the problem would have disapeared by itself. She may not find who did it, but her food would be untouched.
I agree with the commenter who said she should have let them all know that she is installing a camera in the fridge, to see who is stealing the food. In saying and doing that, she would have stopped knowing she would be on camera and you also don't get backlash for not telling them about the camera.
And eventually she would’ve had moments when she forgot and stole the food before realizing it—-since she’d already developed the habit—- and be caught red-handed that way.
Load More Replies...ESH. It's probably too late to try this, but they could have tried the fridge lock box, like a commenter suggested in the article, or a better organized system for all the roommates sharing all the groceries. Or OP could have asked Zoe to talk to Kate about it before resorting to using the camera. I might have even opted to do something as drastic as buy a mini fridge for my own locked bedroom before I bought a fridge cam because the fridge cam seems like such an incendiary and violating idea. I wonder why OP didn't like Kate to begin with.
Hasn’t anybody ever just rubbed you the wrong way? Ever got a bad feeling about someone? Some people can pick up on stuff like someone not being trustworthy. Zoe, on the other hand, has been successfully gaslighted by Kate. Sara is actually wise to stay out of the argument. Time to go apartment-hunting, either with Sara or without her. All this kind of underhanded s**t and unnecessary drama is part of the reason I stopped living with roommates by about age 22—I was on my own, working full time, at 18. I had had enough .after 4 years and got a small place of my own. It cost more, money-wise, but the autonomy and peace of mind was well WELL worth it.
Load More Replies...The other roommates are victims of refrigerator voyeurism. If I’m an innocent party And your recording me some s**t is going down. So many ways for this to be resolved. Common area or not. Your boss at your first big girl job isn’t gonna let you film anybody raiding the office refrigerator. My milk is gone, time to break the law. Theft sucks but you can’t screw everyone over for your pursuit. If I was accused and innocent I would start eating her food in front of her. Did she give the footage too the innocent? Some freaks probably have a fridge fetish.
I hope you can afford to find a new place as moving out is the best solution at this point. Also, lesson learned to not invade other's privacy for your own benefits. Kate is a thief, but it does not give you the rights to film others without their consent. I feel this is just a very immature and unhealthy group of girls all around; remember two wrongs don't make things right.
I'd have gotten the proof from the camera, then I would've cleared everything off my shelf in the fridge, and replaced it with a bunch of food I had tampered with. i.e. i'd have a carton of milk there and add a squirt of eye drops - enjoy the horrendous gut pain, i'd take cheese and rub some fecal mater all over the outside of it then wipe off the excess - wee bit of diarrhea-causing ecoli in there, I'd put donuts in the fridge that are filled with horseradish. Give it a week and she won't touch your food again. Play the bitc* back. And before anyone gets all uppity about causing this woman sickness - fuc* her, you used to get your arm cut off in Arab countries for theft, this is LIGHT punishment.
On the off chance this isn’t mere revenge fantasy, DON’T EVER TAMPER WITH THE FOOD! That’s REALLY serious criminal charges waiting to happen. You can’t argue lack of intent to harm if your target is hospitalized or dies as a result of your “additions”. Why else would you have tampered with the food? You could end up being imprisoned for murder because it is a reasonable assumption that someone COULD die from ingesting fecal matter. You premeditated causing the target to do so. “But I didn’t mean that to happen” is a very poor defence.
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