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Unemployed Husband Keeps Interrupting His Working Wife With Requests And Chores, So She Installs A Lock, Sparks Family Drama
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Parenting, People1 year ago

Unemployed Husband Keeps Interrupting His Working Wife With Requests And Chores, So She Installs A Lock, Sparks Family Drama

Working from home and the hybrid work system, as wonderful as I personally think they are, have their flaws. Even if you have a dedicated space for doing your work at home, there are bound to be interruptions if you live with your partner. Especially if you have kids.

You might love your soulmate and your little munchkins with your entire heart, but sometimes, you’ve got important business meetings to attend via Zoom. And you can’t get anything worthwhile done when you’re interrupted every five gosh-darn minutes. Some people solve this issue by talking with loved ones and setting firm boundaries during office hours. Others, like redditor Lock4356899, install actual locks on their doors to keep their loved ones at bay.

The redditor shared her story about what drove her to get a physical lock in the first place. According to her, her husband of 10 years kept interrupting her with various minor requests and chores that he could easily do himself. You’ll find the full story below, dear Pandas. Grab some tea and maybe even a small bag of popcorn—it’s a fun yet frustrating read.

Relationship and self-love coach Alex Scot gave Bored Panda some great insights into the importance of setting flexible boundaries with our loved ones and how to start up a conversation with your partner if they’re constantly interrupting you during your work hours. You might not need a lock for your door after all! You’ll find our interview with Alex below.

Working from home when you’ve got a partner and kids presents its own unique challenges

Image credits: Alan Levine (not the actual photo)

One redditor explained how her unemployed husband’s constant interrupting forced her into getting a lock so she could work in peace

Image credits: Lock4356899

Relationship coach Alex told Bored Panda that it’s “extremely important” that we have boundaries set up even with the people closest to us, our loved ones. “Without them, we live our lives at the expense of ourselves. The mindset for many when it comes to setting boundaries is that they feel selfish, or that they aren’t being a good partner when they implement them, so they avoid doing it altogether,” she explained why some people avoid having boundaries.

“This only causes resentment to build and overwhelm to set in both within the individual and the relationship as a whole. Boundaries are there for us to be able to take care of and to protect ourselves so that we can show up and operate within our lives as successfully as possible.”

The relationship coach told Bored Panda that she believes that flexible boundaries are better than strict ones within relationships. ” This means in cases of emergency or if a certain situation causes us to have to compromise, we are open to that. Boundaries that are too strict are unsustainable.

Alex was kind enough to walk Bored Panda through a situation where we might find ourselves slightly frustrated by our partner interrupting us during work hours, Zoom meetings, and other important job-related stuff. Having a conversation with your partner about this is paramount.

“Using The Gottman Institute’s soft start-up is a great way to kick off the conversation. An example of this is, ‘Hey I’ve noticed that you come into the room while I’m in Zoom meetings for work. We agreed that this can’t keep happening as it’s disruptive to my work. Can we chat about how to resolve this together?’ And then from here get curious to understand your partner and ask what they need from you,” Alex explained how we can set the stage for an in-depth talk to get to the root of the issue.

“Something like this is easily resolved with open communication and brainstorming ways to resolve this. Is it as simple as needing to communicate your schedule ahead of time and maybe post it on the refrigerator? Or maybe getting a door handle hanger that has ‘Do Not Disturb’ written on one side that they can flip while in meetings. Once you’ve brainstormed possible solutions, it turns into trial and error. Try one solution at a time and if needed course-correct going forward.”

Most redditors stood up for the woman and thought it was rude of her husband to distract her all the time

Just this week, I spoke about the fair division of chores with relationship and dating expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man. He told Bored Panda that couples have to have honest conversations about practical issues like who does what chores and how the housework gets divided up between them. Failing to do so leads to resentment, unnecessary arguments, and can even lead to break-ups.

If one partner feels like they’re forced to do an unfair amount of housework, they need to speak up and resolve the issue instead of letting the tension build.

“Housework used to be seen as women’s work only, due to a man traditionally being the breadwinner and the woman staying at home all day. Yet, in today’s society, if both the man and woman are working, it’s more fair, loving, and respectful for both of them to contribute to keeping the house clean,” he said.

“On the other hand, if a man is the sole breadwinner and the woman stays home all day, many people would agree that she should do most or even all of the housework. That said, no one actually ‘has to’ do anything in a relationship,” the relationship expert explained that fairness is essential.

“A woman shouldn’t ever force a man to do housework and a man shouldn’t force a woman to do it either. Instead, the couple should honestly agree on what they feel is fair and then go with that. If it feels unfair to one of them, resentment will build up, arguments will happen and they will feel less connected and happy as a couple.”

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Hey pandas, what do you think?
Devil's Advocate
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF would he do if you weren't there, he sounds like he can barely function as an adult, let alone a father, he needs to sort himself out!

Troux
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My thoughts exactly. When I started reading, I assumed his unemployment was related to the pandemic, but now I'm not so sure...

Load More Replies...
Pat Bond
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I found most of his inabilities and emotional blackmail quite shocking. That is not to be tolerated on any level. The really shocking part as a grown man he was unable to put a tie on without assistance, just wow. I'm wondering if he knows how to use a knife & fork properly now.

Hotrobot
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously!! How did he function before?? Also, I would 1000% be seriously considering divorce if I was in that situation. Not having the forethought of "my wife is working, I should leave her alone" is like the bare-freaking-minimum of respect. I can not even imagine what else he does, to show how little he actually respects his wife.

Load More Replies...
James016
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband is a d**k. More so as he is asking you to do things he can do himself. Brush your own kids' hair FFS. I work from home and sometimes, if I have important calls, I have to block the door so my son can't come in. My wife leaves me alone, as she puts it: "It's like you're not here which suits me". Regarding the lock, the kids will understand if you explain it to them nicely.

Night Owl
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. Like one of the commenters wrote, the kids will understand and accept it better than the husband does. You just need to explain it to them

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
Devil's Advocate
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF would he do if you weren't there, he sounds like he can barely function as an adult, let alone a father, he needs to sort himself out!

Troux
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My thoughts exactly. When I started reading, I assumed his unemployment was related to the pandemic, but now I'm not so sure...

Load More Replies...
Pat Bond
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I found most of his inabilities and emotional blackmail quite shocking. That is not to be tolerated on any level. The really shocking part as a grown man he was unable to put a tie on without assistance, just wow. I'm wondering if he knows how to use a knife & fork properly now.

Hotrobot
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously!! How did he function before?? Also, I would 1000% be seriously considering divorce if I was in that situation. Not having the forethought of "my wife is working, I should leave her alone" is like the bare-freaking-minimum of respect. I can not even imagine what else he does, to show how little he actually respects his wife.

Load More Replies...
James016
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband is a d**k. More so as he is asking you to do things he can do himself. Brush your own kids' hair FFS. I work from home and sometimes, if I have important calls, I have to block the door so my son can't come in. My wife leaves me alone, as she puts it: "It's like you're not here which suits me". Regarding the lock, the kids will understand if you explain it to them nicely.

Night Owl
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. Like one of the commenters wrote, the kids will understand and accept it better than the husband does. You just need to explain it to them

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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