Woman Wonders If She Was Wrong To ‘Upstage’ The Bride In A Very Informal Wedding
It’s no secret that no matter what a wonderful and once-in-a-lifetime experience weddings may be, they often snowball into huge stress balls for the newlyweds, planners and guests alike. Many of these ensued family drama stories end up on the r/AITA subreddit, where people seek to check if their moral high ground is really that shaky.
This post is no exception. Coming from a woman who got invited to a small wedding for her cousin whom the author hasn’t met before, it serves as an example of how wanting to show the best of yourself may turn against you. The author went all in with her tea-length dress, chiffon shawl and pearl jewelry, since the invite said ‘cocktail attire.’
As soon as the reception started, the author realized she may have overdressed as several people complimented her but said she was upstaging the bride. And it all got worse after the wedding was over as the incriminating calls started flooding in.
The author of this post was accused of upstaging the bride at her own wedding but she said she only wanted to look her best
Image credits: Ana Marcelina (not the actual photo)
And this is what people had to comment on the incident
Umm... I think this whole story is just "based on real events" if not made up entirely. Who invites a cousin they've never met to a "very small" wedding?
Someone who figures her cousin's gift will outweigh be more than what they spend on a keg and wings :)
I agree, this smells fishy. Plus, I'd never attend a wedding of someone I've never met.
someone with a pushy mother or aunt
Well, I have three second grade cousins (meaning my dad and their parents were good cousins). I never met them before (they lived in cities 500km away). Occasionaly my parents would talk to them on the phone for holiday greetings. . But I went to all their weddings (three). And the first time I met them was at the wedding :D/
Thank you!
Strange story. I could believe it if the bride was wearing something casual, but, judging by the description, she clearly went for something non-traditional and extraordinary, with a custom gothic dress, heavy makeup, and all. Why would she be upset with a guest's normie cocktail dress? It's not upstaging, it's a polar opposite style.
If we take this story at face value, while OP is NTA for her dress, she seems to have some asshole-ish tendencies. She says she deeply insecurу about her own appeareane and then goes and dedicates the whole paragraph to describing how shockingly awful was the bride's outfit. Not a good look on you, OP.
We are allowed to have negative opinions about someone's attire, saying it outloud is different.
Putting it to the whole Internet to see definitely counts as saying out loud.
I disagree. The point of the paragraph seems to be not that the bride had bad taste or was an unattractive person, but rather that any upstaging was not the author's fault. She seems to be saying that although the bride made no attempt to look attractive, she certainly did make a huge attempt to stand out, unlike the groom. This is not to say your interpretation is unreasonable -- you may totally be right -- just to be cautious that there are other ways to interpret her comments that may be more internally consistent.
I'm saying it because of her choice of words. When you describe somebody's outfit using phrases like "holy hell", "I was shocked", "you could barely see her face", it's not difficult to spy some judgement in your words.
Agree if that's all given unprovoked, but here it's in defense of herself though.
Umm... I think this whole story is just "based on real events" if not made up entirely. Who invites a cousin they've never met to a "very small" wedding?
Someone who figures her cousin's gift will outweigh be more than what they spend on a keg and wings :)
I agree, this smells fishy. Plus, I'd never attend a wedding of someone I've never met.
someone with a pushy mother or aunt
Well, I have three second grade cousins (meaning my dad and their parents were good cousins). I never met them before (they lived in cities 500km away). Occasionaly my parents would talk to them on the phone for holiday greetings. . But I went to all their weddings (three). And the first time I met them was at the wedding :D/
Thank you!
Strange story. I could believe it if the bride was wearing something casual, but, judging by the description, she clearly went for something non-traditional and extraordinary, with a custom gothic dress, heavy makeup, and all. Why would she be upset with a guest's normie cocktail dress? It's not upstaging, it's a polar opposite style.
If we take this story at face value, while OP is NTA for her dress, she seems to have some asshole-ish tendencies. She says she deeply insecurу about her own appeareane and then goes and dedicates the whole paragraph to describing how shockingly awful was the bride's outfit. Not a good look on you, OP.
We are allowed to have negative opinions about someone's attire, saying it outloud is different.
Putting it to the whole Internet to see definitely counts as saying out loud.
I disagree. The point of the paragraph seems to be not that the bride had bad taste or was an unattractive person, but rather that any upstaging was not the author's fault. She seems to be saying that although the bride made no attempt to look attractive, she certainly did make a huge attempt to stand out, unlike the groom. This is not to say your interpretation is unreasonable -- you may totally be right -- just to be cautious that there are other ways to interpret her comments that may be more internally consistent.
I'm saying it because of her choice of words. When you describe somebody's outfit using phrases like "holy hell", "I was shocked", "you could barely see her face", it's not difficult to spy some judgement in your words.
Agree if that's all given unprovoked, but here it's in defense of herself though.