Woman Complains None Of The Kids On A Bus Offered Their Seat To An Elderly Passenger, Gets Perspective
Interview
The interior of public transportation can be a sort of microcosm of human behavior. With just a few passengers, you can see old and young people, students, workers, and pensioners, all together. Naturally, this brings with it a degree of friction as expectations and parenting clash.
One woman started a debate online when she stated her frustration with parents who don’t make their kids give up seats to the elderly or people with difficulties standing. We got in touch with parenting experts and psychologists Caitlin Slavens and Chelsea Bodie to learn a bit more about why some parents struggle and what can influence a kid’s behavior.
More info: Instagram
There used to be an expectation that children and young people would give up their seats for the elderly
Image credits: rüveyda (not the actual photo)
So one netizen expressed her disappointment that many parents wouldn’t make their kids do anything
Image credits: Alexander Isreb (not the actual photo)
Image credits: DesolationRow
Ultimately, there are a multitude of factors that might shape what a child chooses to do or avoid
While it’s true that times change, it’s not like giving up a seat was some ancient custom most people don’t remember anymore. OP noticed that not only were kids ignoring people who might have difficulty standing, their parents weren’t even trying to rectify the situation. So Bored Panda got in touch with parenting experts and psychologists Caitlin Slavens and Chelsea Bodie to hear more about what influences a child’s behaviors and values. “There can be cases where behavior is more challenging that is more independent from the environment, they are raised in. There are several factors under both nature and nurture that impact a child’s development and behavior. While we know that parenting has a crucial role in shaping a child’s behavior there are additional factors to consider. This includes temperament, developmental age, genetic predispositions, mental health diagnoses, and personality traits.”
“For further consideration, we would also consider the genetic or biological factors that can influence behavior. Such as medical concerns, mental health challenges (such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, conduct disorder, oppositional defiance disorder, or autism spectrum disorder), or learning disabilities, that impact neurological function or other factors that would have an influence on behavior. There are other social and environmental factors that may influence a child that is outside a parent. This would include school, peer, or traumas (I.e., Reactive Attachment Disorder),” they added, showcasing the long list of things that could influence what a child does before a parenting style even comes into play.
Parents already have their work cut out for them in the 21st century
And it probably doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone that parenting is not an easy task, so we were curious to hear what they thought were common mistakes. “Overlooking oneself and one’s needs. Parents often are limited on time and neglect even their own basic needs. It is important to try to find ways (even small) to take care of yourself too. We know not everyone can ask for help, but it is important to reach out if you need to. That can look so different for everyone. Whether that is a family member or friend, a medical professional in your community, or an online community. Finding resources and different ways that you feel you can ask for help are important.”
“Raising a child in the age of social media can be a double-edged sword. Parents often find themselves inundated with information. It is important to know that information shared online is not tailored to your specific family’s needs. It is important to take what works for you and leave the rest.” Caitlin Chelsea shared that their book, “Not Your Mother’s Postpartum Book: Normalizing Post-Baby Mental Health Struggles, Navigating #MOMLife, and Finding Strength Amid the Chaos” will be released on January 17th, 2023, and it could be a good resource for parents needing more advice. You can also find their site here and Instagram here.
Ultimately, while there is no rule or law dictating that a person give up a seat, it’s a good test of one’s values. Doing something because of fear of punishment isn’t an indicator of a moral compass while doing a “good deed” without expecting a reward is. The burden of creating a functional moral compass does ultimately fall on the parents, who, let’s face it, often need all the help they can get.
Readers shared their thoughts and generally agreed with OP’s frustrations
My uncle gave up his bus seat for an elderly. lady. He was fired after she crashed the bus and my uncle was never able to find work as a bus driver again.
One time, when I got up to offer my seat to another passenger, a boy in his early teens sat on it. I politely told him that I meant to offer the seat to the elderly woman beside us and explained that "older people's bones are more fragile, so if they fall down, they're more likely to get injured." He immediately got up - probably wasn't thinking when he grabbed the seat. My mother taught me to be calm and courteous in these situations.
It sounds like he might reflect on your explanation. I dare say that whilst he has been growing up throughout his formative years, that no one had taken a few minutes to talk to him about why we offer to help others. Now it's up to him. He has some understanding to base his future decisions on. Hopefully he went home + initiated a conversation about this type of situation + encouraged his family to think of various circumstances where others might need assistance + as a family that can help work out ways to speak up when out + about. Next time, he might be that calm assertive voice that asks a fellow passenger if they prefer to sit - whether it's an older person, a mother with a baby + toddler in tow or a pregnant woman etc
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Hilariously, the way OP worded their post, they made it sound like THEY got a seat, but their 70-year-old companion didn’t. I’m sure that wasn’t the case and it was that neither of them got to sit, but the way OP worded it made it sound like the 70-year-old was the only one left without a seat XD
I have to walk with a stick but I'm only 40, I've been on buses before where an older gentleman offered me his seat when none of the other passengers would. The one comment about them paying for a seat so wouldn't give it up because "they got there first" really doesn't surprise me anymore. I was brought up to stand if someone needed the seat more and I brought my daughter up the same way. I think it's sad that some are either too selfish or too oblivious to help their fellow human.
They could've just asked for a seat. And even if a young person says no, I would like to remind everyone that invisible disabilities exist and they're not exclusive to old people.
Also this lol, I get very travel sick, standing would not end well for anyone near me.
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This sounds like a bus company problem. If the buses are packed and there are many people standing then they need to add more buses to the route, or have them run more frequently. That said, I would not expect a small child to stand. Standing is dangerous for anyone, but especially for the elderly and small children.
I mean in theory sure, but I dont think you realize how expensive it is to run a PT company. Adding another bus could wipe out the budget of some.
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It's not necessarily due to selfishness though. As a child, I always offered my seat (and it's absolutely the right thing to do) but I don't dare to anymore. Too many times when I offered the person got offended for insinuating that they are too old to care for themselves. Nowadays I keep an ear open and if they ask for a seat I'll gladly move.
Yes, this! It's funny how people always complain about teens, but many times older generations are just as rude or ruder!
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As much as my children drive me mental most days (17f/10m), I know darn well they would get up before I'd have to ask them to. It's not because I taught them either. It's because it's the way I grew up and have modelled that value through out their lives. My most favourite quote on values (I heard when my first was just born) is, "manners are caught and not taught". And it stuck with me since then.
Same for mine (15M, 17F, 20F, and 22M)… any of them would offer their seats. I wouldn’t have to say anything.
Load More Replies... Did... did this person try, y'know, ASKING for a seat????? It's the expectation that's getting me.
If it had been "my friend is frail and needs a seat" she would probrably have asked. This sounds like she wanted someone to offer HER a seat, but didn't have a legitimate reason, so is falling back on "young people these days don't respect their elders".
Yes! Both my parents are elderly..both in their 80s and they never used public transport much until they retired (it's now free here over 65) and young or old they'd be the first on their feet to offer their seat If they saw someone struggling. It feels like this op is indignant over her not getting a seat with her OAP friend! I tell you something if my parents were on this trip to the seaside, they certainly wouldn't have offered their seats to anyone unless they look like they needed it. Having a haords of kids and grandkids also they would have definitely prioritised the safety of the kids! Editing hoars to hoards 😅
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I walk with a cane and am able to use designated seating, however if I see someone worse off than me or a parent struggling with a young child I will give up my seat. I usually get another seat because apparently some people respond to guilt. Not my intent but I'm not ignoring benefits.
I'm 22, but I have quite bad joint issues. I don't use any mobility aids, so you can't see I have issues. I really feel bad for sitting down even when I'm in immense pain
You shouldn't feel bad at all. I don't care how old someone is, if you're in pain and someone else is not, you get priority. You owe nobody an justification for your need to sit down; and if some àsswipe REALLY demands an explanation, let em have it! Make their judgmental àss shrink.
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Maybe the kids just didn't notice? I'm sure if you asked for a seat at least one would've gotten up
While I agree with the sentiment in general of the post, op also said they left the first day of school holidays. And, what, was she not expecting packed transport? If you're not on the school schedule, work around it for fewer crowds. Plan better or straight up ask (nicely) for someone to give up their seat. You're not simply entitled to a seat. If you don't ask people will assume you're fine.
This is not an easy subject. I don't offer a seat based on age alone, bc oftentimes people will actually get mad at you, especially older men. They will cling to the handrails for dear life before suffering the perceived indignity of taking an offered seat. So, just ask me, I will get up.
I once offered my seat to an old man because I was near my stop anyway, and despite offering it to him unprompted, I *still* got a lecture about kids these days and he didn't fight in a war for our entitlement and like.. My dude. Wtf.
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Definitely. I was 7-8 months pregnant and I got on a bus that had a heap of teenagers sitting in the back of a full bus. They all avoided my eyes and only stood up when an elderly man stood up for me. They soon offered him a seat
I look like I'm able bodied and much younger than I am so I feel like I'm judged for not giving up my seat. But I'm at a greater risk of damage if I fall so would prefer to keep my seat.
Who is gonna judge you? The other 50 people that remained on their seats? You are just another person in everyone's mind. Sure, some person that wanted your seat might judge you, but then they should've simply asked for it.
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The last time I offered my seat was literally the last time I ever will. It was my first full workday back after being off of work with kidney failure so I felt like I had been hit by a tank by 5pm. I was on a packed train when a lady, probably in her 80s with 2 canes got on. Literally no one offered their seats, so I stood up for her to sit. There were couple of other people inching toward it before she sat down. I was surprised, but shouldn't have been. By the time seats opened up as the train moves along to each stop, I was noticeably struggling to stand and probably seconds from passing out from fatigue since my body was still in heavy recovery mode. After seeing how selfish people are, I'll never offer my seat again.
What this world lacks is empathy and consideratio towards others. Kids nowadays don't have good examples. Who should have stand up and offer a seat was any parent. You must lead with the example. The consequences for an older person if they fall are much worse than in younger people. Their bones are more fragile and break easily. Also the blood vessels could be damage. It's just respect,as all of us will be in that state.
Actually, as a kid, probably none of us noticed. I'd definitely give my seat to anyone else who asked, I go on a crowded bus pretty often and rarely get a seat anyways, but I'm usually on my phone and listening to music and I just don't notice. You can't expect everyone to be paying attention to you constantly, ask for a seat if you need one or want one
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Honestly some people are offended if you offer your seat. There's no winning in society.
I'm 14 and I take the bus a lot, I'm usually completely zoned out listening to music or something, but if someone actually asked me for my seat I'd give it to them, I'm just not really aware of what's going on around me in buses
My parents said that I should stand up for old people, because I've got the youngest legs. But they also told me that you first have to finish off the old stuff, before you go start using the new stuff. So, in response to their order to stand up on my young legs, was: "You told me we have to finish the old legs first, before using the young. So the old people can stand till their legs are finished."
On the buses and Els in Chicago, there are signs that certain seats reserved for the elderly, disabled, pregnant...I forget the exact wording. But the gist is they are for those that have trouble standing. Usually it is not an issue. People respect the rule and will move when someone needs to sit and no other seats in the front are available. This past spring I was on the bus in the morning, which is full of high school kids and a boy was sitting in one of these seats, as were several other people that did not need them. So a "Karen" entered, maybe late 50s. No frail, no issues standing or walking. She started making a scene because she zeroed in this one boy did not immediately offer her his seat. She started calling for the driver to order him to give her his seat because she is "older." The driver pointed out who the seats were actually for. She argued. The driver refused to do anything until she presented her ID...unfortunately a different passenger gave in and gave up their seat.
... I have too much anxiety to o offer but if I was asked of course.
There's a lot of "kids these days" sentiment. A little while back I injured myself and had to get around on Crutches. I never once had to ask, or wait. As soon as I got on the bus, someone popped up like their seat was lava and gave it to me. Including some teenagers who fit every teenage stereotype going. I've ridden the bus for years and never seen someone who obviously should not be standing stand. Not saying it doesn't happen, and haven't been a bus passenger everywhere, so my experience is just that.
When I was like 14/15 I was on the bus after P.E class, I have chronic asthma so some sorts of physical activities will leave me absolutely breathless. A woman on her like fifties stood in front of me and said nothing, like she was just looking at me and I realized afterwards my mom had stood up to give her a seat, and while seating the woman started complaining about youth this days to the person that literally raised me to be empathetic and generous but that also passed her asthma down to me... so yeah I would've probably give her my seat even if I was feeling terrible but her approach about it felt kinda wrong
I remember as a teen sometimes adults would offer me their seat if it was standing room only. So I don't see why this lady thinks 5 year olds should be holding on to bars for their life. 😶 That being said when I was riding busses regularly 10 years ago I and others still would automatically move if the bus was full and an elder, pregnant lady, child, ect got on. You stand up, point your seat and move off.
Did the OP give up their seat for the oldster?. Apparently not.
im a bit different i do have bad knees and standing for awhile can b painful but thats not the reason i need to sit. im epileptic and my family noticed multiple seizures ive had were bc i wasnt balanced or i was shaken by something. i have a medical braclet and card to go with it stating how being shaken may cause a seizure. standing on a bus or train r enough to trigger one if the knee pain doesnt. ive been denied a seat more times then not. every time "ur not disabled or sick ur too young" or "you look perfectly fine" stuff like that. i havent taken public transportation since before covid. its not bc of covid either its bc of ppl. im married now and dont have to worry about it anyways but still i refuse bc ppl can b rude. just bc u cant see my disabilities and im not some old lady with a walker doesnt mean im not disabled and need to sit for watever reason
Offered a seat once to an elderly woman on a bus and got berated by her because she was 'fully capable of standing on her own.'
This is why I no longer use public transport: I'm disabled with mobility problems but because I am also overweight (chronic illnesses, medications and lack of mobility), all anyone sees is a fat woman who is just lazy. I always use a stick and sometimes a crutch when I'm going out but I can't walk for long. I mostly use my mobility scooter or a taxi. It's just not worth fighting anyone for a seat. I've received dirty looks from pensioners when I've used the priority seats in the past.
I agree with any persons giving up their seat if they are young fit and able. I myself usually give up my seat, I was raised this way. However, I also do agree that bus companies should expand the size of their busses, make ‘em bigger, and add more available seating as a result. Expand personal convenience for us paying customers who should get it.
I read somewhere that standing on the bus might be the only excersise some old persons get, so that it would be very important to not offer them seats. It is for their own good that they get some excersise...
The tone and the delivering failed you here.
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If this were in the US, the bus would have disabled seating and asking the driver for one will lead them to move anyone able-bodied from the disability section. If there's no disabled section, this is a community problem. Their society should offer, but when in doubt raise your voice to the group and ask. I'm disabled, this is what I do. If they don't budge, then absolutely be angry.
In the past parents often looked at their children as little servants they owned and could order around. It was always easier to inconvenience a child than themselves.The best lesson for a child would be seeing the parent get up and offer their seat to the older person rather than forcing the child to get up.
If she is elderly and in need...there are PLENTY of companies that offer the transportation services for next to nothing...and even for free. NO KIDS. It's not anyone's personal obligation to scan around... look to see if an old person needs a seat. Sounds like a BUS COMPANY PROBLEM. Older people aren't more important than anyone else. Medical conditions, disease, disabilities etc....DO NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST AGE. Being older doesn't mean u are entitled to the front seat in a vehicle either. Want to take control? Figure out a better plan. The OP didn't do anything but be a silent and cowardly bystander anyway....that took to the internet afterward lol...which is something like the older friend GEN would rarely do. TIMES CHANGED. ELDERLY REALLY HAVE A LOT OF RESOURCES AND PROGRAMS SO THERES NO EXCUSE TO NOT HAVE A SEAT. JUST MIGHT NOT FIT YOUR SCHEDULE PERFECT. IF THATS A PROBLEM..ENJOY STANDING. NEW GEN NOT GIVING YALL A SEAT. NOR MOM OR DAD
Ran out of room...but also... they seem to get offended often times when u offer a seat. Like....dude...you're 99 years old. Take the seat. That tells a lot. And why did y'all decide to go on the FIRST DAY of school holiday? And expected seats galore?
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Buses shouldn't take on any more passengers than they have seats. It's a simple safety issue.
you know that a trip to the beach on the bus isn't the same as a trip to the shops. the people on this bus would have reserved their seats in advance cos thats how it works for a coach trip. your free bus pass (the elderly get free bus passes in the uk) still has to be booked in advance on these. op did not state she booked seats so its her own fault. fair enough on a town bus you dont need to book cos there will be another in half an hour but if you didn't book a seat for a journey out of town then its on you for not reserving your seats. this is like expecting to be seated in a restaurant when its full and you have not booked.
Where I live, a trip to the beach is the exact same bus you take as a trip to the shops. There was no mention of advance reserved seating so it's more likely it was a free-for-all. How is it her own fault for not doing something that doesn't exist?
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So much to unpack, so here we go: 1. You could have verbally asked for an ADULT to let your friend sit, instead of silently expecting them to get up for you. 2. Young children do not need to stand, it's safer for a child to sit, especially in a moving vehicle. It's also teaching them when you as the parent give up your seat so they may do the same when they are much older. Ask an adult or older teen to stand for the disabled. 3. Invisible disabilities count too, and do not discriminate with age. 4. Op made it sound like they got a seat and old friend was the only one without a seat, so why didn't they give up their seat? If not the case, again, SPEAK UP AND ASK??:)
And can we please stop treating children like dogs or after thoughts (though some dogs get treated way better than many kids lol)?? Surely this isn't the rights that some of you pro lifers had in mind when you wanted the children to be forcefully born into this cruel and unforgiving world lol. So let's not make it about how a kid should give up their seat, but more so how someone, ANYBODY, able bodied, regardless of age, should give up their seat for someone in need of a seat.
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I took the bus all the time when my daughter was little, in those situations I would stand and leave my daughter sitting. Like others said, kids are safer in the seats and adults can hold the bars
In the past, children above a certain age were expected to give up their seat to an elderly person to show respect for the elder. But children are no longer taught to respect the elderly, and that’s the failure of the parents.
Nope, children shouldn't be taught to be respectful just because someone is old; that's how children get taken advantage of, "Do whatever your elders tell you or else you're a disrespectful brat!". Respect is given to those who are respectful of you and others; can't show basic human respect for others, then "f**k em" and avoid them like the plague. Giving a seat to an older person on the bus is basic human consideration that the older person is more prone to injury if standing or simply can't stand for long durations. Same with little ones; we don't want them falling so we have them sit, it's not out of respect for toddlers.
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My daughter has gotten injured on the bus while sitting on my lap and we both fell while standing on the bus. I'm not old but I don't have the best balance, either, and because of a skin disorder my hands are either dry and slick, or greasy and slick from the lotion I put on. I don't have those stickier, moist hands other people have. So, my hands slip off the poles. Usually I'm holding on for dear life and trying not to fall onto people sitting. But it happens. The amount of times I've had to give up a seat for someone is many. It's not always fair. It's not always comfortable. When people see that I'm struggling more than others to stay stable sometimes someone will offer me a seat, which is nice. But I would never expect a young child to sit on their mom's lap or stand. Buses are moving vehicles and not driven smoothly like limos. Cars cut off buses at any moment, forcing the bus driver to slam on the brakes. Some people will ask if they can sit in an occupied seat. Usually works.
If there are not enough seats and the bus is packed, then there are clearly not enough buses on that route. Take it up with the CEO of the bus company who is using your misery to save for his second yacht
If it is a public bus system there may not be the money for it. Ours are free supported by grants and taxes and are scraping by, fares in other cities are kept low by law and barely cover regular service and repairs. City/local buses arent making anyone rich.
Load More Replies... Many modes of transport-bus, taxicabs, ships, planes etc many shops + entertainment venues + libraries, have all employees educated about HIDDEN DISABILITIES + SUNFLOWER Items. Globally you'll find these at most airlines, libraries, shopping complexes, Cultural Centers etc - offer any person-child/adult, specific items to wear that allows others to know you have a Hidden Disability. They have Lanyards (green with yellow sunflowers on them)/sunflower badge/sunflower wristband child + adult size/ an I. D. Card that you can attach to the lanyard that has the sunflower on it stating "Hidden Disabilities"+ on the reverse side you can fill in Name, Contact person/Disability-Illness-Impairment/ a clear folder to place the ID Card inside/. FREE. Totally Free. World wide. They have Posters that many businesses + transportation modes (on a bus, on a plane, at an airport, in the library foyer etc) it means people would know to offer help or or a seat too. Look for the Sunflower wearer.
I wonder what age this OP has. Shouldn't she herself not offer her seat for a elderly companion? Why does she herself not look jn the mirror instead of complaining about young passengers not offering their seats? Most of the times there are enough seats available, just not next to each other. So if a young person doesn't give up the seat NEC xt to hethey start complaining. They were young themselves once. Were they any better? I wonder....
There’s a few really crappy teens in our area who are unbelievably aggressive and rude to passengers on the bus in my part of the world. I’ve seen them tell an elderly man to F off and just die already when he asked them to turn down music. Loads of amazing teens here too but the bad few make everyone wary to ask.
I have noticed that city youths in China no longer offer seats to the aged the way they used to . If a young person offers their seat they are always obviously country kids. It is more common for middle aged women to give seats to their elders now.
When I lived in Shanghai, it was mostly the local kids that would give up their seats, and the kids from the countryside mostly acted like they were unable to see anything except their phone.
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I remember once when I was little, my little sister and I were riding the public bus. An older lady (she might have been the age I am now, I have no clue 😂😂) got on the bus, and I put my sister on my lap so the lady could have the seat. This was in the early-to-mid-80's, and the lady seemed pleasantly surprised.
Look as far as their parents. That will tell you the whole story My parents stressed the importance of respecting our elders. There were several elderly neighbors around our community. My parents said that if they were crossing the street or carrying shopping bags, he would say drop whatever we were doing & help them. Respect is taught by parents early on & children carry that for the rest of their lives. Sometimes we had an elderly woman visit us for dinner or coffee. We would never dream of letting her walk by herself, even if it was 2 houses down. My brothers would accompany her to her residence & made sure she safely got in. Parents attitudes play into their childrens' way of thinking. Many elderly people are insignificant to them so they treat the elderly like yesterday's garbage. Thus, it really is adult pigs teaching their kids to be pigs!
There was a time when thoughtfulness and common courtesy was the norm. Not so much any more. I'll bet that at least 2/3 of those teens and adults didn't even notice the older woman get on the bus. Everybody just sits, with their head down, looking at their phones. Below the age of 12, most kids aren't attentive enough and often too preoccupied to keep their balance standing up. But another adult certainly could have given up their seat. I'm 70 and would still give my seat up to someone older. But that's just me.
This is me personally, if I see a frail looking person, or it looks like they would benefit having a seat, I just offer out of respect. If they act entitled, that's something else.
Giving a seat to an older person should be the normal thing to do. In another close country it is the norm to give to give seats to the elderly. Respect is given. Respect has been loss here.
Just goes to show how respect for your elders is not being taught behind closed doors.
Maybe it's just the busses where I live, but every bus I have been on the first few rows are priority seating. They have signs saying you need to give them up for the disabled, elderly, pregnant women. Even if there are seats open in the back you are supposed to vacate the front spots if some one needs them.
Aside from the signs the bus driver will tell people to move.
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I know people think it's cute to dunk on younger people, but it's been my experience the rude ones are either middle schoolers or young adults. The ones in-between and after are usually very aware and polite. Well... Until you go grocery shopping. Especially people with kids. They stand in the middle of the isle and let their kids run everywhere so I can't get by :/ But on a bus? I usually see people offering their seats.
Courtesy and respect begin at home. This is sad commentary on how we aren't teaching respect for others in our homes. We are harvesting the crop we sowed.
I dread the day some young whippersnapper tries to offer me their seat on the bus 😳
I've always maintained that we are a reflection of our parents. How they educted us and the values and principals they taught us, is how we grow up to be, interact and treat others. Rude, uneducated, inconsiderate, and those who show and act with apathy, its because that's the behavior they saw in their parents!!! They have no sense of what core values are!!! Therefore, how can anyone expect these people to have such behavior❓ Sadly, these people don't want to change, or better themselves!!?
This has been happening for decades. When I was a child we always gave up our seats for elderly, pregnant ladies, ladies with toddlers etc. Men always gave their seats up even for any woman but this was in Britain. Working in Sydney in early 90s and the men in suits were the worst - just sat there with their newspapers up so they could pretend they didn't see anyone in need. As a young woman, I was still the first person to give up my seat for anyone in need while the men in suits continued their utter rudeness.
With rudeness being glorified in movies and music videos and celebrated in Tic TOC, a new normal has unfortunately developed in a greater society. Add to the mix parents that want to be 'cool' and therefore act like friends to their children instead of authority figures, then you will see how this new norm has developed. Manners and good behavior are so old fashioned, treated as our of touch.
I used to offer my seat to elderly people on the bus until one day I offered it to an elderly woman who was insulted and said she was able to stand and didn't need it. So now I am afraid of insulting someone else 🤷🏻♀️ You can't win in these situations it seems.
I don't use public transportation all that often, but there are times when we use the Metrolink in our area. Sometimes going to a concert or something like that. It's just easier than paying to park and retrieving your car after the event can be quite the hassle. So on those occasions when I am on public transportation, I am often shocked by the number of teenagers or early 20s who don't even think to give up their seat someone who is clearly struggling. I don't go with any particular age. But if I see anyone who's struggling more than I am.... I will give them my seat. NowI just turned 60. I'm in reasonably good health although I do have a bad knee. I also make it my habit to stand and then to address the person I'm offering the seat too. Just so no one walks over and takes the seat. Then if they don't want it. If there's a second person I will offer it to them. But if they don't take it then I will sit my happy self back down. That is intentional,!!
If the bus was packed as you say and you still wish to enter considering that you was just doing a short distance trip to the beach meaning that it was not mandatory.tgen you took your chances to secure a seat and you lost you could have got on the next bus and get a seat it was your choice. there is no point complaining about it
look...people can't have it both ways. Older people refuse to retire, buy second and third homes with the earnings that the post WWII boom gave them, pensions and the like. They still hold all selalts of the power in Govt and they have 2 to 3 times the wealth of younger generations and then they also want to be considered frail and needing to have the seats on public transportation.
When I was a child, we never thought about offering a seat to an older person. We just did it!
The comments are shocking...people don't understand why kind don't stand or sit on parents laps in a large motor vehicle that if you search will learn get in more accidents then the average vehicle Andale not as safe as you think they purposely do jot run many stores on these accidents to not scare you. But you can gogole and will see how unsafe buses are. My kids will sit thank you, and I will stand right by them and fight anyone who thinks they need to stand for they narcissistic asses. We paid we were here first and kids matter more then you, especially mine. Stand our wait for the next one as it's a you issue , I do not need to give anything up for you ever, just because you want it...you can seriously wait for another buss if this one is full not expect a child to endanger itself for you.
If she could board the bus without a walker or a cane, she can stand up. If I was on the bus before her, I'm not moving. I don't give a rats how old you are.
As person who has ADHD and multiple physical disabilities, me not giving up my seat doesn't mean that I'm being rude or don't care. I have balance issues due to a amputated toe and bunions, which may not be visible when I wear close toed shoes. OP shouldn't be judging people's ability or empathy based on whether she can see a disability or not. That mindset is ablist and toxic.
One of the reasons we were given when I was a child was that we were only paying half as much for our tickets and so should give up our seats for those who paid full price
When I was a kid, way back when, we were taught to give our seats to elderly folks. Where I live, there are designated seats for those who are elderly or have mobility issues and folks seated in those seats are expected, and told, by the bus driver to vacate those seats. I have zero problems with this. It really should be a no brainer but, sadly it isn't.
I will always give my seat up to an elderly, pregnant, someone with a small child, or people with disabilities. It is sick when people do not offer their seat. No manners. My child had to have surgery, so if you didn't know it, you wouldn't know I would not have her stand up for that reason, but I will get up. I know not all disabilities are not shown, but when NOBODY on the bus or wherever your at doesn't get up, then yes, it is concerning. Also, if we are not on a bus and an older person or even an adult is around my kid will get up and offer also.
I’m 62 and healthy. I don’t care how old you are, or what your pronouns are (is that an OK way to put it, because if it isn’t I’ll change it), if you’re pregnant and/or less able-bodied than I am, I will hold the door open for you, offer to help you (or jump in and help if necessary) with your stuff. I will also give you my seat, and stand the rest of the way—-while glaring at younger able-bodied people to publicly shame them and make them squirm uncomfortably in the seats they didn’t give up.
As a kid, most of us are literally just on our phoned and don't notice. People need to ask for what they want, we can't read minds
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Even though I suffer with vertigo daily I would give up my seat for elderly. Young adults and adults should help the elders. Many seniors don't get the appropriate strength training to handle standing while a vehicle is moving. They will tire easily.
I’d say teen-youngish adult (late forties at the max) should give up their seat. some older folk are definitely very capable but if you notice someone needs that seat more, then please give it to them. they need it more
Baby frog fresh out of the pond... Sorry I just love your username
Load More Replies... The number of people that won't offer a seat because they say some people will be offended by it astounds me. "They might get offended" applies to any situation where you try to help out a stranger ... so, just never try? And is it really that difficult to navigate such a situation? To explain, "Hey, I meant no offense, just wanted to be helpful"?
Kid goes in your lap or kid gives up seat. Kids should give up seats, it teaches them respect and empathy for others.
This is one of the main reasons I don't use public transportation anymore. Too many times I have ridden the bus or BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) and had to deal with commuters who suddenly couldn't see the passenger who uses a cane. Never mind the fact that there are signs clearly posted on windows over the seats designated for the individuals needing them. I have yet to see our transit system actually enforce the federal law on this. I'm not holding my breath, either.
HorseyMel pretty much answered your question. They replied "If I paid for a seat I'm going to sit there, if you have a problem take it up with the CEO of the company." Translation: I'm an entitled A@#h!@)e and really don't give a damn about anyone but myself. THIS is the issue at hand. Not the children, but the adults who end up having children they then teach to be entitled AH's. There is no consideration, common decency or respect nowadays. Why expect children to emulate what they never see nor learn?
Don't use your age as an excuse to be self-righteous. I'm over sixty and I just smile and say, "No thanks, I'm fine."
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My uncle gave up his bus seat for an elderly. lady. He was fired after she crashed the bus and my uncle was never able to find work as a bus driver again.
One time, when I got up to offer my seat to another passenger, a boy in his early teens sat on it. I politely told him that I meant to offer the seat to the elderly woman beside us and explained that "older people's bones are more fragile, so if they fall down, they're more likely to get injured." He immediately got up - probably wasn't thinking when he grabbed the seat. My mother taught me to be calm and courteous in these situations.
It sounds like he might reflect on your explanation. I dare say that whilst he has been growing up throughout his formative years, that no one had taken a few minutes to talk to him about why we offer to help others. Now it's up to him. He has some understanding to base his future decisions on. Hopefully he went home + initiated a conversation about this type of situation + encouraged his family to think of various circumstances where others might need assistance + as a family that can help work out ways to speak up when out + about. Next time, he might be that calm assertive voice that asks a fellow passenger if they prefer to sit - whether it's an older person, a mother with a baby + toddler in tow or a pregnant woman etc
Load More Replies... Hilariously, the way OP worded their post, they made it sound like THEY got a seat, but their 70-year-old companion didn’t. I’m sure that wasn’t the case and it was that neither of them got to sit, but the way OP worded it made it sound like the 70-year-old was the only one left without a seat XD
I have to walk with a stick but I'm only 40, I've been on buses before where an older gentleman offered me his seat when none of the other passengers would. The one comment about them paying for a seat so wouldn't give it up because "they got there first" really doesn't surprise me anymore. I was brought up to stand if someone needed the seat more and I brought my daughter up the same way. I think it's sad that some are either too selfish or too oblivious to help their fellow human.
They could've just asked for a seat. And even if a young person says no, I would like to remind everyone that invisible disabilities exist and they're not exclusive to old people.
Also this lol, I get very travel sick, standing would not end well for anyone near me.
Load More Replies... This sounds like a bus company problem. If the buses are packed and there are many people standing then they need to add more buses to the route, or have them run more frequently. That said, I would not expect a small child to stand. Standing is dangerous for anyone, but especially for the elderly and small children.
I mean in theory sure, but I dont think you realize how expensive it is to run a PT company. Adding another bus could wipe out the budget of some.
Load More Replies... It's not necessarily due to selfishness though. As a child, I always offered my seat (and it's absolutely the right thing to do) but I don't dare to anymore. Too many times when I offered the person got offended for insinuating that they are too old to care for themselves. Nowadays I keep an ear open and if they ask for a seat I'll gladly move.
Yes, this! It's funny how people always complain about teens, but many times older generations are just as rude or ruder!
Load More Replies... As much as my children drive me mental most days (17f/10m), I know darn well they would get up before I'd have to ask them to. It's not because I taught them either. It's because it's the way I grew up and have modelled that value through out their lives. My most favourite quote on values (I heard when my first was just born) is, "manners are caught and not taught". And it stuck with me since then.
Same for mine (15M, 17F, 20F, and 22M)… any of them would offer their seats. I wouldn’t have to say anything.
Load More Replies... Did... did this person try, y'know, ASKING for a seat????? It's the expectation that's getting me.
If it had been "my friend is frail and needs a seat" she would probrably have asked. This sounds like she wanted someone to offer HER a seat, but didn't have a legitimate reason, so is falling back on "young people these days don't respect their elders".
Yes! Both my parents are elderly..both in their 80s and they never used public transport much until they retired (it's now free here over 65) and young or old they'd be the first on their feet to offer their seat If they saw someone struggling. It feels like this op is indignant over her not getting a seat with her OAP friend! I tell you something if my parents were on this trip to the seaside, they certainly wouldn't have offered their seats to anyone unless they look like they needed it. Having a haords of kids and grandkids also they would have definitely prioritised the safety of the kids! Editing hoars to hoards 😅
Load More Replies... I walk with a cane and am able to use designated seating, however if I see someone worse off than me or a parent struggling with a young child I will give up my seat. I usually get another seat because apparently some people respond to guilt. Not my intent but I'm not ignoring benefits.
I'm 22, but I have quite bad joint issues. I don't use any mobility aids, so you can't see I have issues. I really feel bad for sitting down even when I'm in immense pain
You shouldn't feel bad at all. I don't care how old someone is, if you're in pain and someone else is not, you get priority. You owe nobody an justification for your need to sit down; and if some àsswipe REALLY demands an explanation, let em have it! Make their judgmental àss shrink.
Load More Replies... Maybe the kids just didn't notice? I'm sure if you asked for a seat at least one would've gotten up
While I agree with the sentiment in general of the post, op also said they left the first day of school holidays. And, what, was she not expecting packed transport? If you're not on the school schedule, work around it for fewer crowds. Plan better or straight up ask (nicely) for someone to give up their seat. You're not simply entitled to a seat. If you don't ask people will assume you're fine.
This is not an easy subject. I don't offer a seat based on age alone, bc oftentimes people will actually get mad at you, especially older men. They will cling to the handrails for dear life before suffering the perceived indignity of taking an offered seat. So, just ask me, I will get up.
I once offered my seat to an old man because I was near my stop anyway, and despite offering it to him unprompted, I *still* got a lecture about kids these days and he didn't fight in a war for our entitlement and like.. My dude. Wtf.
Load More Replies... Definitely. I was 7-8 months pregnant and I got on a bus that had a heap of teenagers sitting in the back of a full bus. They all avoided my eyes and only stood up when an elderly man stood up for me. They soon offered him a seat
I look like I'm able bodied and much younger than I am so I feel like I'm judged for not giving up my seat. But I'm at a greater risk of damage if I fall so would prefer to keep my seat.
Who is gonna judge you? The other 50 people that remained on their seats? You are just another person in everyone's mind. Sure, some person that wanted your seat might judge you, but then they should've simply asked for it.
Load More Replies... The last time I offered my seat was literally the last time I ever will. It was my first full workday back after being off of work with kidney failure so I felt like I had been hit by a tank by 5pm. I was on a packed train when a lady, probably in her 80s with 2 canes got on. Literally no one offered their seats, so I stood up for her to sit. There were couple of other people inching toward it before she sat down. I was surprised, but shouldn't have been. By the time seats opened up as the train moves along to each stop, I was noticeably struggling to stand and probably seconds from passing out from fatigue since my body was still in heavy recovery mode. After seeing how selfish people are, I'll never offer my seat again.
What this world lacks is empathy and consideratio towards others. Kids nowadays don't have good examples. Who should have stand up and offer a seat was any parent. You must lead with the example. The consequences for an older person if they fall are much worse than in younger people. Their bones are more fragile and break easily. Also the blood vessels could be damage. It's just respect,as all of us will be in that state.
Actually, as a kid, probably none of us noticed. I'd definitely give my seat to anyone else who asked, I go on a crowded bus pretty often and rarely get a seat anyways, but I'm usually on my phone and listening to music and I just don't notice. You can't expect everyone to be paying attention to you constantly, ask for a seat if you need one or want one
Load More Replies... Honestly some people are offended if you offer your seat. There's no winning in society.
I'm 14 and I take the bus a lot, I'm usually completely zoned out listening to music or something, but if someone actually asked me for my seat I'd give it to them, I'm just not really aware of what's going on around me in buses
My parents said that I should stand up for old people, because I've got the youngest legs. But they also told me that you first have to finish off the old stuff, before you go start using the new stuff. So, in response to their order to stand up on my young legs, was: "You told me we have to finish the old legs first, before using the young. So the old people can stand till their legs are finished."
On the buses and Els in Chicago, there are signs that certain seats reserved for the elderly, disabled, pregnant...I forget the exact wording. But the gist is they are for those that have trouble standing. Usually it is not an issue. People respect the rule and will move when someone needs to sit and no other seats in the front are available. This past spring I was on the bus in the morning, which is full of high school kids and a boy was sitting in one of these seats, as were several other people that did not need them. So a "Karen" entered, maybe late 50s. No frail, no issues standing or walking. She started making a scene because she zeroed in this one boy did not immediately offer her his seat. She started calling for the driver to order him to give her his seat because she is "older." The driver pointed out who the seats were actually for. She argued. The driver refused to do anything until she presented her ID...unfortunately a different passenger gave in and gave up their seat.
... I have too much anxiety to o offer but if I was asked of course.
There's a lot of "kids these days" sentiment. A little while back I injured myself and had to get around on Crutches. I never once had to ask, or wait. As soon as I got on the bus, someone popped up like their seat was lava and gave it to me. Including some teenagers who fit every teenage stereotype going. I've ridden the bus for years and never seen someone who obviously should not be standing stand. Not saying it doesn't happen, and haven't been a bus passenger everywhere, so my experience is just that.
When I was like 14/15 I was on the bus after P.E class, I have chronic asthma so some sorts of physical activities will leave me absolutely breathless. A woman on her like fifties stood in front of me and said nothing, like she was just looking at me and I realized afterwards my mom had stood up to give her a seat, and while seating the woman started complaining about youth this days to the person that literally raised me to be empathetic and generous but that also passed her asthma down to me... so yeah I would've probably give her my seat even if I was feeling terrible but her approach about it felt kinda wrong
I remember as a teen sometimes adults would offer me their seat if it was standing room only. So I don't see why this lady thinks 5 year olds should be holding on to bars for their life. 😶 That being said when I was riding busses regularly 10 years ago I and others still would automatically move if the bus was full and an elder, pregnant lady, child, ect got on. You stand up, point your seat and move off.
Did the OP give up their seat for the oldster?. Apparently not.
im a bit different i do have bad knees and standing for awhile can b painful but thats not the reason i need to sit. im epileptic and my family noticed multiple seizures ive had were bc i wasnt balanced or i was shaken by something. i have a medical braclet and card to go with it stating how being shaken may cause a seizure. standing on a bus or train r enough to trigger one if the knee pain doesnt. ive been denied a seat more times then not. every time "ur not disabled or sick ur too young" or "you look perfectly fine" stuff like that. i havent taken public transportation since before covid. its not bc of covid either its bc of ppl. im married now and dont have to worry about it anyways but still i refuse bc ppl can b rude. just bc u cant see my disabilities and im not some old lady with a walker doesnt mean im not disabled and need to sit for watever reason
Offered a seat once to an elderly woman on a bus and got berated by her because she was 'fully capable of standing on her own.'
This is why I no longer use public transport: I'm disabled with mobility problems but because I am also overweight (chronic illnesses, medications and lack of mobility), all anyone sees is a fat woman who is just lazy. I always use a stick and sometimes a crutch when I'm going out but I can't walk for long. I mostly use my mobility scooter or a taxi. It's just not worth fighting anyone for a seat. I've received dirty looks from pensioners when I've used the priority seats in the past.
I agree with any persons giving up their seat if they are young fit and able. I myself usually give up my seat, I was raised this way. However, I also do agree that bus companies should expand the size of their busses, make ‘em bigger, and add more available seating as a result. Expand personal convenience for us paying customers who should get it.
I read somewhere that standing on the bus might be the only excersise some old persons get, so that it would be very important to not offer them seats. It is for their own good that they get some excersise...
The tone and the delivering failed you here.
Load More Replies... If this were in the US, the bus would have disabled seating and asking the driver for one will lead them to move anyone able-bodied from the disability section. If there's no disabled section, this is a community problem. Their society should offer, but when in doubt raise your voice to the group and ask. I'm disabled, this is what I do. If they don't budge, then absolutely be angry.
In the past parents often looked at their children as little servants they owned and could order around. It was always easier to inconvenience a child than themselves.The best lesson for a child would be seeing the parent get up and offer their seat to the older person rather than forcing the child to get up.
If she is elderly and in need...there are PLENTY of companies that offer the transportation services for next to nothing...and even for free. NO KIDS. It's not anyone's personal obligation to scan around... look to see if an old person needs a seat. Sounds like a BUS COMPANY PROBLEM. Older people aren't more important than anyone else. Medical conditions, disease, disabilities etc....DO NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST AGE. Being older doesn't mean u are entitled to the front seat in a vehicle either. Want to take control? Figure out a better plan. The OP didn't do anything but be a silent and cowardly bystander anyway....that took to the internet afterward lol...which is something like the older friend GEN would rarely do. TIMES CHANGED. ELDERLY REALLY HAVE A LOT OF RESOURCES AND PROGRAMS SO THERES NO EXCUSE TO NOT HAVE A SEAT. JUST MIGHT NOT FIT YOUR SCHEDULE PERFECT. IF THATS A PROBLEM..ENJOY STANDING. NEW GEN NOT GIVING YALL A SEAT. NOR MOM OR DAD
Ran out of room...but also... they seem to get offended often times when u offer a seat. Like....dude...you're 99 years old. Take the seat. That tells a lot. And why did y'all decide to go on the FIRST DAY of school holiday? And expected seats galore?
Load More Replies... Buses shouldn't take on any more passengers than they have seats. It's a simple safety issue.
you know that a trip to the beach on the bus isn't the same as a trip to the shops. the people on this bus would have reserved their seats in advance cos thats how it works for a coach trip. your free bus pass (the elderly get free bus passes in the uk) still has to be booked in advance on these. op did not state she booked seats so its her own fault. fair enough on a town bus you dont need to book cos there will be another in half an hour but if you didn't book a seat for a journey out of town then its on you for not reserving your seats. this is like expecting to be seated in a restaurant when its full and you have not booked.
Where I live, a trip to the beach is the exact same bus you take as a trip to the shops. There was no mention of advance reserved seating so it's more likely it was a free-for-all. How is it her own fault for not doing something that doesn't exist?
Load More Replies... So much to unpack, so here we go: 1. You could have verbally asked for an ADULT to let your friend sit, instead of silently expecting them to get up for you. 2. Young children do not need to stand, it's safer for a child to sit, especially in a moving vehicle. It's also teaching them when you as the parent give up your seat so they may do the same when they are much older. Ask an adult or older teen to stand for the disabled. 3. Invisible disabilities count too, and do not discriminate with age. 4. Op made it sound like they got a seat and old friend was the only one without a seat, so why didn't they give up their seat? If not the case, again, SPEAK UP AND ASK??:)
And can we please stop treating children like dogs or after thoughts (though some dogs get treated way better than many kids lol)?? Surely this isn't the rights that some of you pro lifers had in mind when you wanted the children to be forcefully born into this cruel and unforgiving world lol. So let's not make it about how a kid should give up their seat, but more so how someone, ANYBODY, able bodied, regardless of age, should give up their seat for someone in need of a seat.
Load More Replies... I took the bus all the time when my daughter was little, in those situations I would stand and leave my daughter sitting. Like others said, kids are safer in the seats and adults can hold the bars
In the past, children above a certain age were expected to give up their seat to an elderly person to show respect for the elder. But children are no longer taught to respect the elderly, and that’s the failure of the parents.
Nope, children shouldn't be taught to be respectful just because someone is old; that's how children get taken advantage of, "Do whatever your elders tell you or else you're a disrespectful brat!". Respect is given to those who are respectful of you and others; can't show basic human respect for others, then "f**k em" and avoid them like the plague. Giving a seat to an older person on the bus is basic human consideration that the older person is more prone to injury if standing or simply can't stand for long durations. Same with little ones; we don't want them falling so we have them sit, it's not out of respect for toddlers.
Load More Replies... My daughter has gotten injured on the bus while sitting on my lap and we both fell while standing on the bus. I'm not old but I don't have the best balance, either, and because of a skin disorder my hands are either dry and slick, or greasy and slick from the lotion I put on. I don't have those stickier, moist hands other people have. So, my hands slip off the poles. Usually I'm holding on for dear life and trying not to fall onto people sitting. But it happens. The amount of times I've had to give up a seat for someone is many. It's not always fair. It's not always comfortable. When people see that I'm struggling more than others to stay stable sometimes someone will offer me a seat, which is nice. But I would never expect a young child to sit on their mom's lap or stand. Buses are moving vehicles and not driven smoothly like limos. Cars cut off buses at any moment, forcing the bus driver to slam on the brakes. Some people will ask if they can sit in an occupied seat. Usually works.
If there are not enough seats and the bus is packed, then there are clearly not enough buses on that route. Take it up with the CEO of the bus company who is using your misery to save for his second yacht
If it is a public bus system there may not be the money for it. Ours are free supported by grants and taxes and are scraping by, fares in other cities are kept low by law and barely cover regular service and repairs. City/local buses arent making anyone rich.
Load More Replies... Many modes of transport-bus, taxicabs, ships, planes etc many shops + entertainment venues + libraries, have all employees educated about HIDDEN DISABILITIES + SUNFLOWER Items. Globally you'll find these at most airlines, libraries, shopping complexes, Cultural Centers etc - offer any person-child/adult, specific items to wear that allows others to know you have a Hidden Disability. They have Lanyards (green with yellow sunflowers on them)/sunflower badge/sunflower wristband child + adult size/ an I. D. Card that you can attach to the lanyard that has the sunflower on it stating "Hidden Disabilities"+ on the reverse side you can fill in Name, Contact person/Disability-Illness-Impairment/ a clear folder to place the ID Card inside/. FREE. Totally Free. World wide. They have Posters that many businesses + transportation modes (on a bus, on a plane, at an airport, in the library foyer etc) it means people would know to offer help or or a seat too. Look for the Sunflower wearer.
I wonder what age this OP has. Shouldn't she herself not offer her seat for a elderly companion? Why does she herself not look jn the mirror instead of complaining about young passengers not offering their seats? Most of the times there are enough seats available, just not next to each other. So if a young person doesn't give up the seat NEC xt to hethey start complaining. They were young themselves once. Were they any better? I wonder....
There’s a few really crappy teens in our area who are unbelievably aggressive and rude to passengers on the bus in my part of the world. I’ve seen them tell an elderly man to F off and just die already when he asked them to turn down music. Loads of amazing teens here too but the bad few make everyone wary to ask.
I have noticed that city youths in China no longer offer seats to the aged the way they used to . If a young person offers their seat they are always obviously country kids. It is more common for middle aged women to give seats to their elders now.
When I lived in Shanghai, it was mostly the local kids that would give up their seats, and the kids from the countryside mostly acted like they were unable to see anything except their phone.
Load More Replies... I remember once when I was little, my little sister and I were riding the public bus. An older lady (she might have been the age I am now, I have no clue 😂😂) got on the bus, and I put my sister on my lap so the lady could have the seat. This was in the early-to-mid-80's, and the lady seemed pleasantly surprised.
Look as far as their parents. That will tell you the whole story My parents stressed the importance of respecting our elders. There were several elderly neighbors around our community. My parents said that if they were crossing the street or carrying shopping bags, he would say drop whatever we were doing & help them. Respect is taught by parents early on & children carry that for the rest of their lives. Sometimes we had an elderly woman visit us for dinner or coffee. We would never dream of letting her walk by herself, even if it was 2 houses down. My brothers would accompany her to her residence & made sure she safely got in. Parents attitudes play into their childrens' way of thinking. Many elderly people are insignificant to them so they treat the elderly like yesterday's garbage. Thus, it really is adult pigs teaching their kids to be pigs!
There was a time when thoughtfulness and common courtesy was the norm. Not so much any more. I'll bet that at least 2/3 of those teens and adults didn't even notice the older woman get on the bus. Everybody just sits, with their head down, looking at their phones. Below the age of 12, most kids aren't attentive enough and often too preoccupied to keep their balance standing up. But another adult certainly could have given up their seat. I'm 70 and would still give my seat up to someone older. But that's just me.
This is me personally, if I see a frail looking person, or it looks like they would benefit having a seat, I just offer out of respect. If they act entitled, that's something else.
Giving a seat to an older person should be the normal thing to do. In another close country it is the norm to give to give seats to the elderly. Respect is given. Respect has been loss here.
Just goes to show how respect for your elders is not being taught behind closed doors.
Maybe it's just the busses where I live, but every bus I have been on the first few rows are priority seating. They have signs saying you need to give them up for the disabled, elderly, pregnant women. Even if there are seats open in the back you are supposed to vacate the front spots if some one needs them.
Aside from the signs the bus driver will tell people to move.
Load More Replies... I know people think it's cute to dunk on younger people, but it's been my experience the rude ones are either middle schoolers or young adults. The ones in-between and after are usually very aware and polite. Well... Until you go grocery shopping. Especially people with kids. They stand in the middle of the isle and let their kids run everywhere so I can't get by :/ But on a bus? I usually see people offering their seats.
Courtesy and respect begin at home. This is sad commentary on how we aren't teaching respect for others in our homes. We are harvesting the crop we sowed.
I dread the day some young whippersnapper tries to offer me their seat on the bus 😳
I've always maintained that we are a reflection of our parents. How they educted us and the values and principals they taught us, is how we grow up to be, interact and treat others. Rude, uneducated, inconsiderate, and those who show and act with apathy, its because that's the behavior they saw in their parents!!! They have no sense of what core values are!!! Therefore, how can anyone expect these people to have such behavior❓ Sadly, these people don't want to change, or better themselves!!?
This has been happening for decades. When I was a child we always gave up our seats for elderly, pregnant ladies, ladies with toddlers etc. Men always gave their seats up even for any woman but this was in Britain. Working in Sydney in early 90s and the men in suits were the worst - just sat there with their newspapers up so they could pretend they didn't see anyone in need. As a young woman, I was still the first person to give up my seat for anyone in need while the men in suits continued their utter rudeness.
With rudeness being glorified in movies and music videos and celebrated in Tic TOC, a new normal has unfortunately developed in a greater society. Add to the mix parents that want to be 'cool' and therefore act like friends to their children instead of authority figures, then you will see how this new norm has developed. Manners and good behavior are so old fashioned, treated as our of touch.
I used to offer my seat to elderly people on the bus until one day I offered it to an elderly woman who was insulted and said she was able to stand and didn't need it. So now I am afraid of insulting someone else 🤷🏻♀️ You can't win in these situations it seems.
I don't use public transportation all that often, but there are times when we use the Metrolink in our area. Sometimes going to a concert or something like that. It's just easier than paying to park and retrieving your car after the event can be quite the hassle. So on those occasions when I am on public transportation, I am often shocked by the number of teenagers or early 20s who don't even think to give up their seat someone who is clearly struggling. I don't go with any particular age. But if I see anyone who's struggling more than I am.... I will give them my seat. NowI just turned 60. I'm in reasonably good health although I do have a bad knee. I also make it my habit to stand and then to address the person I'm offering the seat too. Just so no one walks over and takes the seat. Then if they don't want it. If there's a second person I will offer it to them. But if they don't take it then I will sit my happy self back down. That is intentional,!!
If the bus was packed as you say and you still wish to enter considering that you was just doing a short distance trip to the beach meaning that it was not mandatory.tgen you took your chances to secure a seat and you lost you could have got on the next bus and get a seat it was your choice. there is no point complaining about it
look...people can't have it both ways. Older people refuse to retire, buy second and third homes with the earnings that the post WWII boom gave them, pensions and the like. They still hold all selalts of the power in Govt and they have 2 to 3 times the wealth of younger generations and then they also want to be considered frail and needing to have the seats on public transportation.
When I was a child, we never thought about offering a seat to an older person. We just did it!
The comments are shocking...people don't understand why kind don't stand or sit on parents laps in a large motor vehicle that if you search will learn get in more accidents then the average vehicle Andale not as safe as you think they purposely do jot run many stores on these accidents to not scare you. But you can gogole and will see how unsafe buses are. My kids will sit thank you, and I will stand right by them and fight anyone who thinks they need to stand for they narcissistic asses. We paid we were here first and kids matter more then you, especially mine. Stand our wait for the next one as it's a you issue , I do not need to give anything up for you ever, just because you want it...you can seriously wait for another buss if this one is full not expect a child to endanger itself for you.
If she could board the bus without a walker or a cane, she can stand up. If I was on the bus before her, I'm not moving. I don't give a rats how old you are.
As person who has ADHD and multiple physical disabilities, me not giving up my seat doesn't mean that I'm being rude or don't care. I have balance issues due to a amputated toe and bunions, which may not be visible when I wear close toed shoes. OP shouldn't be judging people's ability or empathy based on whether she can see a disability or not. That mindset is ablist and toxic.
One of the reasons we were given when I was a child was that we were only paying half as much for our tickets and so should give up our seats for those who paid full price
When I was a kid, way back when, we were taught to give our seats to elderly folks. Where I live, there are designated seats for those who are elderly or have mobility issues and folks seated in those seats are expected, and told, by the bus driver to vacate those seats. I have zero problems with this. It really should be a no brainer but, sadly it isn't.
I will always give my seat up to an elderly, pregnant, someone with a small child, or people with disabilities. It is sick when people do not offer their seat. No manners. My child had to have surgery, so if you didn't know it, you wouldn't know I would not have her stand up for that reason, but I will get up. I know not all disabilities are not shown, but when NOBODY on the bus or wherever your at doesn't get up, then yes, it is concerning. Also, if we are not on a bus and an older person or even an adult is around my kid will get up and offer also.
I’m 62 and healthy. I don’t care how old you are, or what your pronouns are (is that an OK way to put it, because if it isn’t I’ll change it), if you’re pregnant and/or less able-bodied than I am, I will hold the door open for you, offer to help you (or jump in and help if necessary) with your stuff. I will also give you my seat, and stand the rest of the way—-while glaring at younger able-bodied people to publicly shame them and make them squirm uncomfortably in the seats they didn’t give up.
As a kid, most of us are literally just on our phoned and don't notice. People need to ask for what they want, we can't read minds
Load More Replies... Even though I suffer with vertigo daily I would give up my seat for elderly. Young adults and adults should help the elders. Many seniors don't get the appropriate strength training to handle standing while a vehicle is moving. They will tire easily.
I’d say teen-youngish adult (late forties at the max) should give up their seat. some older folk are definitely very capable but if you notice someone needs that seat more, then please give it to them. they need it more
Baby frog fresh out of the pond... Sorry I just love your username
Load More Replies... The number of people that won't offer a seat because they say some people will be offended by it astounds me. "They might get offended" applies to any situation where you try to help out a stranger ... so, just never try? And is it really that difficult to navigate such a situation? To explain, "Hey, I meant no offense, just wanted to be helpful"?
Kid goes in your lap or kid gives up seat. Kids should give up seats, it teaches them respect and empathy for others.
This is one of the main reasons I don't use public transportation anymore. Too many times I have ridden the bus or BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) and had to deal with commuters who suddenly couldn't see the passenger who uses a cane. Never mind the fact that there are signs clearly posted on windows over the seats designated for the individuals needing them. I have yet to see our transit system actually enforce the federal law on this. I'm not holding my breath, either.
HorseyMel pretty much answered your question. They replied "If I paid for a seat I'm going to sit there, if you have a problem take it up with the CEO of the company." Translation: I'm an entitled A@#h!@)e and really don't give a damn about anyone but myself. THIS is the issue at hand. Not the children, but the adults who end up having children they then teach to be entitled AH's. There is no consideration, common decency or respect nowadays. Why expect children to emulate what they never see nor learn?
Don't use your age as an excuse to be self-righteous. I'm over sixty and I just smile and say, "No thanks, I'm fine."
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