Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Teen Who Never Met Bio Dad Considers Stepdad Her “Real” Dad, Bio Sister Rages At Her Over It
Teen hugging stepdad outdoors, illustrating family dynamics and suggesting therapy instead of conflict over calling stepdad dad.

Teen Who Never Met Bio Dad Considers Stepdad Her “Real” Dad, Bio Sister Rages At Her Over It

28

ADVERTISEMENT

All families have their ups and downs, but life in a blended family can be like a trip through the whole theme park. Keeping the family dynamics balanced can feel like a full-time job, especially for stepparents, but stepkids carry their fair share of the burden too. 

One woman turned to an online community to vent after her sister accused her of disrespecting the memory of their biological dad just because she wants a healthy dad-daughter relationship with her mom’s second husband. Now netizens are divided.

 More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Growing up without a dad is never ideal, so if you get a second chance at having one, you can’t really be blamed for grabbing it

    Wreath of white flowers and lanterns at a gravesite symbolizing family conflict over teen calling stepdad dad.

    Image credits: New Africa / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    One woman, who lost her dad while she was still a baby, was thrilled when she started bonding with her mother’s second husband

    Teen calls stepdad dad, sister screams treason, teen suggests therapy instead of conflict over family roles.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text about teen calling stepdad dad causing tension, with sister reacting strongly and teen suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    Teen calls stepdad dad, sister reacts with treason accusations, teen suggests therapy instead of arguing.

    Teen calls stepdad dad causing sister to scream treason, teen suggests therapy instead of arguing about family titles.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text describing a teen calling their stepdad dad, while sister reacts with treason and teen suggests therapy instead of screaming.

    Two women smiling and looking through photo albums, discussing family moments and relationships at a table.

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The only issue was that her sister saw their stepdad as an usurper, and the woman’s affection for him as betraying the memory of their lost dad 

    Text excerpt discussing a teen calling stepdad dad and the sister's reaction suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text on white background saying My sister don’t take it well we got into an argument about stepdad and therapy.

    Text excerpt showing a teen explaining calling stepdad dad despite sister’s accusations of treason.

    Teen calls stepdad dad causing sister to scream treason, teen suggests therapy to resolve family conflict peacefully.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Text excerpt about a teen expressing feelings toward stepdad and sibling conflict over calling him dad.

    Text on a plain white background reading it wasn’t even the same themepark, the one we went to opened last year.

    Teen enjoying amusement park on sunny day, holding lollipop and wearing sunglasses with roller coaster in background

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    After she posted some pics of a day out at a theme park with their stepdad, her sister lost the plot, accused her of general dad treason, and turned their other siblings against her

    Text showing an update about sister causing emotional conflict when a teen calls stepdad dad, suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    Text about feeling tired of hiding affection for a father figure and being screamed at for calling stepdad dad.

    Text message with a teen expressing frustration over sister screaming after calling stepdad dad, suggesting therapy instead.

    Text image showing the phrase My relationship with him doesn’t affect her at all, relating to teen and stepdad conflict.

    Text on a white background reads a personal statement about not walking on glass around a sister anymore, relating to family conflict and therapy.

    Text on white background expressing frustration about not being able to post about a dad-daughter day without being screamed at.

    With the help of her grandma, though, the woman drew up a list of all the hurtful things her sister has done to her and decided to take a step back from their relationship 

    The original poster’s (OP’s) biological dad met his maker before she could even form a memory of him, leaving her childhood dad-shaped but dad-less. Family stories helped, sure, but they were basically movie trailers, not the whole film. Then, when she was 11, her mom married “Jim”, a man who stepped into the role and became her dad.

    Her sister, however, never got the memo. While Jim became a safe landing place for OP, her sister treated him like an unwanted sequel no one asked for. Cue years of guilt-tripping, accusations of “replacing” their lost father, and a sibling relationship that slowly cracked under the pressure like a dropped phone screen.

    Things calmed down after OP’s sister left for college, until a harmless scroll through old photos stirred up drama. After seeing pics of her biological dad taking her siblings to theme parks, OP asked Jim for a similar day out. He said sure, they had a blast, she posted photos, and… accidentally opened the gates to Emotional Rollercoaster Land.

    Her sister exploded, accusing her of betrayal and general dad treason, despite it being a different theme park and a different decade. After one fight too many, OP snapped. With her grandma’s support and a long list of past hurts, she stepped back from her sister, but she’s still asking netizens if she’s a villain, or just a daughter entitled to a dad too.

    Let’s be honest, who can blame OP for wanting a father figure? Either her sister is secretly jealous of her relationship with Jim, or she’s just plain toxic. So, what’s the best way to deal with a toxic sibling? And how can OP sidestep the guilt trips her sister keeps trying to send her on?

    Teen calls stepdad dad while sister reacts, showing family tension and suggestion of therapy instead of screaming outdoors.

    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The experts over at Psychology Today say a few characteristics of toxic people include them being manipulative, shifting blame, being critical, judgmental, and cruel, and making you feel guilty for things you didn’t do – we’re looking at you, OP’s sister.

    So how does OP cope? Well, there are a few expert-backed strategies she can turn to, including creating boundaries, limiting contact, simply not engaging, and creating a solid support system – thank goodness OP has her grandma, right? 

    Now, what about the guilt-tripping? The pros at PsychCentral say guilt trips tend to happen most in close relationships because the guilt-tripper has to know that the other person wants to avoid causing them harm.

    Psychologists say the best ways to deal with a guilt-tripper include depersonalizing the guilt-trip by realizing that the person trying to guilt-trip you is doing so because of their issues and not yours, articulating your boundaries, validating their feelings, and offering a compromise.

    We’d say putting some distance between herself and her sister is probably the best move. Here’s hoping the siblings can bury the hatchet in time, because it’d be a shame to lose a sister just as you gained a dad.   

    What’s your take? Does OP’s sister have a point, or does she need to get over it and let her sister have a dad? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

    In the comments, readers were torn, with some saying the original poster is blameless, and others saying everyone in the mess is a jerk

    Screenshot of an online discussion where sister screams treason after teen calls stepdad dad, teen suggests therapy instead.

    Teen suggests therapy as sister screams treason over calling stepdad dad in family conflict discussion.

    Reddit conversation about sister screaming treason after teen calls stepdad dad, teen suggests therapy instead of yelling.

    Screenshot of an online discussion about a teen calling stepdad dad and a sister's reaction suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    Reddit comment discussing sister's reaction and teen suggesting therapy after calling stepdad dad in family conflict.

    Text comment discussing sister screaming treason when teen calls stepdad dad and suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing sister screaming treason when teen calls stepdad dad and suggesting therapy instead.

    Reddit comment discussing sister yelling treason after teen calls stepdad dad, suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    Comment discussing sister's reaction when teen calls stepdad dad and suggests therapy instead of screaming.

    Comment discussing sister's reaction to teen calling stepdad dad and suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    Reddit comment discussing teen calling stepdad dad and sister's reaction labeled as treason and betrayal.

    Screenshot of an online comment about a teen calling stepdad dad, with sister’s reaction and suggestion of therapy.

    Alt text: Online discussion about sister screaming treason when teen calls stepdad dad, teen suggests therapy instead of screaming

    Comment discussing sister screaming treason when teen calls stepdad dad, with suggestion of therapy instead of yelling.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a teen calling stepdad dad and suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    Comment on Reddit discussing sister screaming treason when teen calls stepdad dad, suggesting therapy instead of screaming.

    Comment on sibling conflict over stepdad called dad, suggesting therapy instead of yelling to resolve issues.

    Comment explaining sister’s reaction to teen calling stepdad dad and suggesting therapy instead of screaming

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook

    Explore more of these tags

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    Read less »
    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    What do you think ?
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another example of why I believe that you do not have to maintain a relationship with someone who brings nothing good to your life, simply because of an accident of DNA. I would tell all siblings that I have less that zero interest in their opinions on this subject and will NEVER be discussing it again. If they have a problem with my relationship with my dad, I suggest they keep it entirely to themselves, or they can f off.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP never had a relationship with bio-dad, so Jim *is* her dad. Sis can go fvck off. I'd cut all contact with her, if I were OP. Saying bio-dad is not her dad was a bad move but I understand where OP is coming from.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. I was adopted at birth. My adoptive dad was my dad. Full stop. Even if I'd met my biological dad (which I would have been fine with doing, but I was told he committed suícide in the 90s) I would not have called him "dad". I do agree OP shouldn't have said that her biological father wasn't her father, and should have found a better way to explain that Jim has been her dad in all the meaningful ways, and that while perhaps she wishes her bio dad could have been alive to parent her, he wasn't and isn't... that's on OP's sister to accept. It absolutely súcks, as it sounds like bio dad died when OP's sister was maybe 6 or so, so I'm sure it still hurts, but sister is 22 now. It's her responsibility to understand that others in her life (e.g., her mother and OP) have moved on.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two sister living completely different lives, of course they experience the world completely differently.

    Load More Comments
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another example of why I believe that you do not have to maintain a relationship with someone who brings nothing good to your life, simply because of an accident of DNA. I would tell all siblings that I have less that zero interest in their opinions on this subject and will NEVER be discussing it again. If they have a problem with my relationship with my dad, I suggest they keep it entirely to themselves, or they can f off.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP never had a relationship with bio-dad, so Jim *is* her dad. Sis can go fvck off. I'd cut all contact with her, if I were OP. Saying bio-dad is not her dad was a bad move but I understand where OP is coming from.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. I was adopted at birth. My adoptive dad was my dad. Full stop. Even if I'd met my biological dad (which I would have been fine with doing, but I was told he committed suícide in the 90s) I would not have called him "dad". I do agree OP shouldn't have said that her biological father wasn't her father, and should have found a better way to explain that Jim has been her dad in all the meaningful ways, and that while perhaps she wishes her bio dad could have been alive to parent her, he wasn't and isn't... that's on OP's sister to accept. It absolutely súcks, as it sounds like bio dad died when OP's sister was maybe 6 or so, so I'm sure it still hurts, but sister is 22 now. It's her responsibility to understand that others in her life (e.g., her mother and OP) have moved on.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two sister living completely different lives, of course they experience the world completely differently.

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT