Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post Search
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Woman Calls Her Future Daughter-In-Law A ‘Used Woman’, Is Shocked When She Bans Her From The Wedding
568

Woman Calls Her Future Daughter-In-Law A ‘Used Woman’, Is Shocked When She Bans Her From The Wedding

ADVERTISEMENT

Recently, a 27-year-old who is getting married to her 31-year-old fiance this summer turned to the AITA community for a moral judgment.

The author, who is also a mom to her 8-year-old daughter from a previous partner, explained that her fiance’s mother has always hated her. “She thinks I’m gross for having been a teen mom and she believes her son deserves someone better (i.e. a virgin),” the woman wrote.

But one day, the future mother-in-law insulted the author so badly that she simply had enough. That meant the husband’s mom is no longer welcome at their wedding.

A woman wonders if she is right to ban her future mother-in-law who openly hates her from her wedding

Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: blackwidowspiderrr

Image credits: bialasiewicz (not the actual photo)

“Dealing with in-laws can be touchy, so you don’t want to put your partner between their parent and you, since that’s not fair,” an expert says

Susan Petang, a stress management coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching, told Bored Panda that for many people, dealing with in-laws can be touchy. Moreover, since you don’t want to put your partner between their parent and you, which isn’t fair, you may feel overwhelmed or even torn.

ADVERTISEMENT

“One of the first things I advise my clients to do is put themselves in their in-laws’ shoes. Why do you think they are doing what they’re doing? (And no, ‘She’s just a jerk!’ or, ‘She just hates me!’ aren’t good answers,)” Susan told us previously.

“Having some understanding of why MILs doing what they’re doing doesn’t justify their behavior, but it takes away your anger over the situation”

According to her, the common reason why MILs may not respect their DILs’ boundaries is because “THEIR mothers/mothers-in-law did that to THEM – so they think it’s OK.”

In other instances, mothers-in-law may feel worried about you, or even think they’re actually helping. On other occasions, they may be too attached to their child, and they’re anxious. So Susan argues that thinking this way may help you to realize that “it must suck to be them, don’t you think?”

“By having some compassion for what they’re feeling or understanding why they’re doing what they’re doing, it doesn’t justify their behavior, but it does take away some of your anger over the situation.”

Many people expressed their support for the author in the comments

ADVERTISEMENT
Share on Facebook
You May Like
Popular on Bored Panda
Write comments
Add photo comments
POST
carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF? Double standards are strong in this one. Ban the MIL for life bc she will surely pour her toxic bs into the kids when she gets the chance.

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a double standard mother, better not just kick her out of the wedding but your whole life or she'll try to ruin this marriage. Kick her to hell and make sure she doesn't climb back out.

jaimelloyd_1 avatar
Jaime L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely not the AH I was 18 when I met my wife who is 6yrs older than me and with child from previous marriage and my mother did not approve of her yet she herself was divorced with 3 kids and all still single digits, I got such a hard time from her and other family friends so I have not had any contact with her since we got married back in 84 AND I'm still married to the same wonderful woman now. I was the black sheep of the family that could see how toxic my family is. So NTIA.

lauralett50 avatar
Laura Lett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So happy for you!! . I hope the OP has the same thing happening for them.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF? Double standards are strong in this one. Ban the MIL for life bc she will surely pour her toxic bs into the kids when she gets the chance.

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a double standard mother, better not just kick her out of the wedding but your whole life or she'll try to ruin this marriage. Kick her to hell and make sure she doesn't climb back out.

jaimelloyd_1 avatar
Jaime L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely not the AH I was 18 when I met my wife who is 6yrs older than me and with child from previous marriage and my mother did not approve of her yet she herself was divorced with 3 kids and all still single digits, I got such a hard time from her and other family friends so I have not had any contact with her since we got married back in 84 AND I'm still married to the same wonderful woman now. I was the black sheep of the family that could see how toxic my family is. So NTIA.

lauralett50 avatar
Laura Lett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So happy for you!! . I hope the OP has the same thing happening for them.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
Popular on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda