Man Feels Betrayed As Spouse Attends Funeral Instead Of Letting Him Take A Break From Parenting On Father’s Day, Gets Called A Jerk
Anyone who says that parenthood is the greatest joy in the world is absolutely right. Anyone who says that parenthood is one of the most difficult tests that fall to the lot of a person is also absolutely right.
This is the kind of unity and struggle of opposites that philosophers spoke of in the old days, and it is up to you and me how to perceive everything. However, life often leaves people with little choice. As, for example, happened to the user u/One-Weakness6175, the author of the story we are about to tell you this time.
The author of the post and his wife have two little kids and one of them is on the autism spectrum
Image credits: Matthias Groeneveld (not the actual photo)
To take proper care of the children, the wife decided to stay at home while the man has a full-time job
Image credits: One-Weakness6175
Image credits: Tim Mossholder (not the actual photo)
Image credits: One-Weakness6175
The spouses also have an unwritten agreement of having two ‘days off’ a year: on their birthdays and Mother’s or Father’s Days
Image credits: Cristian Dina (not the actual photo)
Image credits: One-Weakness6175
However, this Father’s Day, the wife got invited to her ex-boss’ dad’s funeral, so she went there, leaving the husband with their kids at home
Image credits: Marc Mueller (not the actual photo)
Image credits: One-Weakness6175
The man was indignant over canceling all his plans and family drama arose here
So, the Original Poster (OP) and his wife have two children, six and four years old, and the eldest has autism spectrum disorder. In order to pay more attention to the kids, the author’s wife decided to be a SAHM, while the man has a full-time job. Of course, parenting takes a lot of effort, time and energy from the spouses, so they desire some breaks from time to time.
And so it happened that twice a year each of the spouses takes a break from all family affairs and responsibilities, placing everything on the partner, and arranges a kind of “reboot” for themselves. According to the OP, these are usually their respective birthdays, as well as Father’s and Mother’s Day. No, of course, this does not mean, the man claims, that he locks his wife and children at home for the rest of the year – he also tries to help her as much as possible, but it is on these two days of the year that each of the couple, according to their unwritten ‘agreement’, has the freedom to do whatever they please.
For example, the husband recalls that on the past Mother’s Day, he specially booked a spa for his wife, because he knew that she had wanted this for a long time, and when the woman returned home, a festive dinner and cards handmade by her kids were waiting for her. On Father’s Day, the OP also had some plans, but reality made its own adjustments…
Shortly before the holiday, the wife received an invitation from her former boss to attend his dad’s funeral, which was around 2 hours away. The woman said that she could not miss this funeral – she was on good terms with the ex-boss, although she did not know his father at all. As a result, the husband was forced to cancel all his plans and take care of the kids that day. Moreover, despite the fact that the woman planned to arrive home around 5 pm, it took her until 10 pm to get home. The children were already asleep, and, of course, the man did not receive any cards for the holiday.
The husband was extremely upset, and family drama unfolded over this. In response to his reproaches, the woman said that she had been locked in the house with the kids for almost a year, while her husband at least had the opportunity to go to work. The author objected that work is not a break, and that he tries to help her whenever possible in everything she does. As a result, the couple quarreled and have not spoken since.
Image credits: Min An (not the actual photo)
Let’s make a disclaimer right away – the original poster dismissed in advance all the likely accusations of adultery on the part of the wife, although many commenters suspected this. The man said that, firstly, he trusts his wife, and secondly, he saw a lot of photos on Facebook from the funeral and the subsequent memorial dinner, which really dragged on a bit. And the problem here, as the OP is absolutely sure, lies precisely in what he outlined.
“Of course, I see a problem in the relationship of this couple, and in many ways they have become hostages of circumstances,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and a certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this case. “By and large, no one is to blame for what happened – neither the spouses, nor even their children. But there is a problem, and in order to avoid the worst later, these people should discuss everything honestly, while trying not to switch to mutual accusations.”
“Of course, both parents get tired and appreciate their ‘days of rest’, but what the woman has right here is that her husband has at least the opportunity, as they say, to ‘change the scenery’ – from home to work and back. An unenviable choice, of course, but she is also deprived of this. So, if I were the husband here, I would try not to be offended, and express more understanding in this situation.”
“Better yet, try, probably, to set aside a few days for joint leisure. Perhaps involving someone from their close relatives or specialists to care for the kids at this time. Otherwise, the couple will soon find themselves under an avalanche of mental fatigue and even more serious problems for them are not far off,” Irina warns.
We must say that many people in the comments – of those, of course, who did not devote their remark to accusing the woman of infidelity – also believe that the spouses are simply incredibly tired of their lifestyle. “Seems like you two overwound for just 2 days off a year… could you save up for a respite worker and have a weekend somewhere?” one of the commenters asks a pretty reasonable question. And what would you, our dear readers, advise this couple in their complicated situation?
Some commenters accused the wife of having an affair, and others just thought the spouses needed to have more ‘days off’, perhaps some common leisure time
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I think in this very instance it's NTA but as ine commenter was suggesting, my guess is the SAHM arrangement was a done deal because OP's wife was the mom and it was the most 'sensible' thing to do and not really the thing OP's wife truly wanted. I think OP needs to have a serious talk and I also think it wont go as they like. I bet the wife misses her life. She gets a few days out, that's it, the rest she's SAHM. Her friends are most likely also moms and there's constant kids talk or still at least part time working and she feels pigeonholed as a mom without any escape. Her career getting colder every year. I bet there's resentment going on in spades from a woman who did what society and her family and her husband made her to believe was the fulfillment of a woman's life and finding that it's indeed a prison. Her whole identity replaced with being a woman. The gifts her husband gets her are centered about that too, typical feminine gifts. A spa day, a day out with friends, the pattern
I'm also a father of a four and six year old, neither with a diagnosis but still a handful. Nice to have some time off, but father's/mother's Day? Really? My kids so looked forward to this, and while the day was far from relaxing for me, the memories the kids got is what matters, can have the next Sunday off maybe. Yes, you deserve some time off, but father's/mother's Day? It's the day to celebrate being a parent, not avoid your children.
That was my reaction as well. I think the whole point of Father's/Mother's Day is to spend time with the kids. Maybe they need to rethink which days they have "off" from parenting.
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Was it not possible to exchange that day for the following weekend? I think he's being insensitive - one can't really plan funerals that far in advance. Give and take - that's what makes a marriage, not foot-stamping.
I understand why he would be disappointed after thinking he would have a day off from the kids but I agree. Couldn't he just take another day off? It seems like a super obvious solution.
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Sounds like she may need to stop being a SAHM... if your finances can allow it, she should get a job that gets her out of the house. Even just a part time job. Sounds like she is burned out being at home all the time. Good luck
She blew off her husband's special day to go to the funeral of a man she barely knew and wasn't close to. Who does that? As one of the commenters noted, if a man did that to his wife on Mother's Day, he'd be ripped to shreds.
You're absolutely correct about the double-standard. It definitely exists. For me personally, a funeral trumps Mother's Day and Father's Day mostly because it can't be planned for, can happen really quickly, and only happens once. With all of these where it's only one-sided, I question whether *she* "barely knew" the boss. Maybe the OP barely knew the boss and didn't realize how close they were? We don't really know. They went to the boss's wedding, something co-workers don't typically do when they aren't close (unless it's a toxic boss, which a whole different thing....)
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The fact that you call it daddy duty, tells me you get a lot of breaks.
Those saying "Did she really have to go" My mum passed away in January. There were at least 10 former employees of my dad's company at the funeral. None of them have worked for him in at least 20 years. But they all knew him and my mum, so they came to pay their respects. It is NOT strange to attend the boss's dad's funeral, or wanting to pay respects. I am a little confused that the funeral was on father's day though, as that's usually a Sunday. I don't think I've seen a funeral take place on a Sunday, but hey... possible. As for being pissed that she went -- why didn't you just go and say "Okay, we'll just celebrate Father's Day next weekend. No big deal.
Sorry for your loss, but you said yourself, these ex employees knew both your mother and your father so came to pay respects to her as to support your father. To compare to this case, it would people people you employed over a year ago coming to support you over your mother who they'd never met.
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S o o . . . Let me get this straight, you give the little woman a couple days off a year where she can associate with adults other than yourself, you're mad because she chose to give support to someone she worked with at a hard time, you are so self-centred that you don't even realize that this funeral was probably as much about socializing with people she used to work as it was supporting her old boss, and being able to forget for a few hours that she has responsibilities at home ( that her husband was taking care of, although apparently being a father on Father's Day can't just involve being a father for the day and should involve whining because of it)
I'm sorry, but he's NTA imo. If she's home with the kids, they could have done an arts and crafts card at the very least, for dad. When I was a sahm, of course I did the most of the house work and meal cooking, but my ex was an amazing father and he always wanted the boys with him no matter where he went or what he was doing. And going to the funeral of your old bosses dad? Two hours away? Idk, especially on Fathers Day, the one day you celebrate the dad in your life. I feel for the old boss, but it kind of sounds like she wanted to do anything BUT be at home with her husband.
Someone in the comments said "No one is invited to a funeral the day before the viewing/burial.” That isn't necessarily true. It really depends on the ritual/rites of the family. If I remember correctly, Jewish burial has to happen pretty fast. When I looked it up (so please feel free to correct me if this is wrong), traditionally, it has to be within 24 hours out of respect. I'm assuming, of course, this depends on how closely the family follows tradition (etc.). I do remember having to get on that flight head snappingly quick after we learned of the deaths of my in-laws :( My father was Catholic, but I don't remember anyone telling us there was any kind of timeline. Though, I was grieving so maybe someone did and I just didn't track? When I looked it up, the answers ranged quite a bit.
Technically it was 3 days before, I think. And some do get invited last minute. Actually sometimes funerals are booked and set within 3-5 days.. For domestic, anyway. I've been to six funerals (all family), been involved in the arrangements of one and seen the arrangements being done for another.
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Fathers Day can be celebrated on any day of the year. On the other hand, there are no do-overs for funerals.
A former boss's dad's funeral? Who blows off their family for that?
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ESH. Hear me out. When your wife said she needed a break, she meant she needed adult time and adult social interactions after caring for two small children all week. You didn't understand what she meant; she didn't explain it. ESH because you don't communicate your needs like adults. Yes, she broke your agreement. While I understand why she did, it still wasn't an appropriate thing to do without discussion. ESH...learn how to talk to each other.
This woman is home all day every day with high needs kids, she's right when she says she never gets a break, the funeral was just an excuse to escape, she's drowning. Working with adults all day, NOT the same as being alone with small autistic children all day
This reminds me of last year when I had been taking care of my frail elderly FIL who was battling a bone cancer and had had a stroke. I was basically his personal care worker and taking him to treatments and tests sometimes 4 days a week. One weekend my husband decides to drive 5 hours to go to a great uncle’s funeral he barely knew and left me alone with his mother and the dad who was sick (other issues than the cancer) and was having diarrhea accidents I had to clean up all over the floor. I got attitude because I said it was inappropriate for him to go and leave me to deal with everything. He basically he was going just to have a trip and get away (and drink beers with family).
I'm glad people aren't automatically jumping against the dad because he's a man, sometimes that's unfortunately everything that is looked at. I hope they can reschedule a second "fathers day" for him so he can have his day off
The real issue is the lack of reciprocal effort. He plans stuff for her to ensure she feels appreciated. She doesn't bother for him. She planned nothing for him, and when her last minute thing wrecked his plans, there was no apology or attempt to rectify things. She didn't try to find a babysitter, promise a rain check, help the kids make something they could give him while she was out. Nothing. Then she went even further by staying out an extra FIVE hours. She is definitely resentful AF about being a SAHM and increasingly detached and uninterested in her marriage. She should go back to work and they both should be heading to counseling to deal with their respective resentment.
Wow. What a jerk. He's out of the house nearly daily with other adults and no kids, and he's upset that she took ONE DAY to do the same? YTA.
My wife and i are separated and is a SAHM who homeschools our children 11 and 9 with the 9 year old being in the autism spectrum. Im still there everyday after work helping with the kids and usually take the kids on the weekends. This past Father's day weekend she had to work the entire weekend and still felt bad for not doing anything for me with the kids on Father's day. On Monday after work she bought dinner and the kids made me a card.
Yeah it's a funeral but she'd also see her old boss and old coworkers there. I understand getting home late, wanting to catch up after being stuck at home all day every day. Work isn't exactly a break but you can still go places, it's very different. When I work I feel more free than I'd feel at home all day. I get that they probably have some issues to resolve but those things he mentioned are pleasant surprises that are not to be demanded. I personally would apologize to my husband and promise to make up for it, rescheduling his relaxation day. I'm sure a bit more time with his kids didn't hurt him as much as he thought. They need to communicate better so that they won't have to write a Reddit post lol.
It's an EX Bosses FATHER, and OP makes it sound like he was informed vs asked. I wonder, but am doubting, if she offered him a different day in exchange or if she even asked if his plans could be moved. Or what about finding someone to watch the kids? Sounds like OP's wife had just pretty much checked out of the relationship, and I think that's what really needs to be addressed. But based on the post info, I'm going with NTA, BIG TIME
NTA however i made the mistake once to think because my friend was gay he couldn't be interested. Turns out he's Bi. Too many red flags there dude. Get your head out of the sand. She's neglected you for one year and has a lame excuse for a funeral of someone she doesn't know. Your partner comes 1st and you did not on a day which was yours to take like all the fathers. Do yourself a favor. Ask her to join you in therapy. See how she ll reply. If she says yes then she loves you and there is no one else. If not and starts accusing you, then you ll know.
Am very happy telling everyone here my testimony i am Ashley Miller from united state, am a nurse,this is a story of my love life.I have been married for 4 years and on the 5th year of my marriage, another woman had to take my husband away from me living me and the kids to suffer for 2 years until i met a post where this man Dr. Ehi have helped so many people in the relationship and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my husband back home and believe me all i did was to send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48 hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to share to everyone having similar problem to meet with this man and have your lover back to your self. You can contact him with this email address drudebhuluspelltemple @ gmail . com Thank you Dr Ehi. I am sure he will do same to help you all
I think ESH. I completely understand why Mom stayed out late. She definitely misses adulthood. She's with friends whom she misses as well and want to spend time with her. Dad had to cancel plans. When Father's Day went without dad having any recognition, of course he was miffed. Neither party wanted to give an inch. Mom could have apologized for not having the kids create cards or gifts. Dad easily could have allowed Mom the day and scheduled another day to himself. They both need to learn to give a little more.
Maybe you jumped at being the ah for assuming she didn't have a makeup day planned for you because of the funeral? Like here's a redo Father's Day surprise? But prob not as u said she's been dropping the ball on your day. Well you cancelled your plans tho. You could have gotten a special sitter or parent or in law to cover an still had your planned day. Although she seems to have checked out on checking in on running late tho. Prob didn't because she knew you were stewing already. But then all day w the kids is more than your evenings after work and two days a year to herself. Just apologize and remember the next Mother's Day to give what you got. If she flips then just say it is what it is. And maybe get a nanny so she can get a job an not be stuck home all day with the kids too.
YTA - '...neither of us gets much of a break from this.' BS he goes to work everyday and gets a break from it, wife has it 24/7 except for two scheduled days a year. Yeah, she may have dropped the ball on a FDay card, but it's a funeral, most people don't plan when they die, he could've simply changed plans to another weekend.
She should have had the kids at least prepare a card. The rest is just a whiny guy who can't really understand that she is with the exhausting kids all day, every day. He should be finding ways to give her more regular breaks.
According to the description it sounds like he'd do his part and feels more like she wouldn't. Even though there are fathers that really don't pull their weight, there's also mothers who don't.
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I think in this very instance it's NTA but as ine commenter was suggesting, my guess is the SAHM arrangement was a done deal because OP's wife was the mom and it was the most 'sensible' thing to do and not really the thing OP's wife truly wanted. I think OP needs to have a serious talk and I also think it wont go as they like. I bet the wife misses her life. She gets a few days out, that's it, the rest she's SAHM. Her friends are most likely also moms and there's constant kids talk or still at least part time working and she feels pigeonholed as a mom without any escape. Her career getting colder every year. I bet there's resentment going on in spades from a woman who did what society and her family and her husband made her to believe was the fulfillment of a woman's life and finding that it's indeed a prison. Her whole identity replaced with being a woman. The gifts her husband gets her are centered about that too, typical feminine gifts. A spa day, a day out with friends, the pattern
I'm also a father of a four and six year old, neither with a diagnosis but still a handful. Nice to have some time off, but father's/mother's Day? Really? My kids so looked forward to this, and while the day was far from relaxing for me, the memories the kids got is what matters, can have the next Sunday off maybe. Yes, you deserve some time off, but father's/mother's Day? It's the day to celebrate being a parent, not avoid your children.
That was my reaction as well. I think the whole point of Father's/Mother's Day is to spend time with the kids. Maybe they need to rethink which days they have "off" from parenting.
Load More Replies... Was it not possible to exchange that day for the following weekend? I think he's being insensitive - one can't really plan funerals that far in advance. Give and take - that's what makes a marriage, not foot-stamping.
I understand why he would be disappointed after thinking he would have a day off from the kids but I agree. Couldn't he just take another day off? It seems like a super obvious solution.
Load More Replies... Sounds like she may need to stop being a SAHM... if your finances can allow it, she should get a job that gets her out of the house. Even just a part time job. Sounds like she is burned out being at home all the time. Good luck
She blew off her husband's special day to go to the funeral of a man she barely knew and wasn't close to. Who does that? As one of the commenters noted, if a man did that to his wife on Mother's Day, he'd be ripped to shreds.
You're absolutely correct about the double-standard. It definitely exists. For me personally, a funeral trumps Mother's Day and Father's Day mostly because it can't be planned for, can happen really quickly, and only happens once. With all of these where it's only one-sided, I question whether *she* "barely knew" the boss. Maybe the OP barely knew the boss and didn't realize how close they were? We don't really know. They went to the boss's wedding, something co-workers don't typically do when they aren't close (unless it's a toxic boss, which a whole different thing....)
Load More Replies... The fact that you call it daddy duty, tells me you get a lot of breaks.
Those saying "Did she really have to go" My mum passed away in January. There were at least 10 former employees of my dad's company at the funeral. None of them have worked for him in at least 20 years. But they all knew him and my mum, so they came to pay their respects. It is NOT strange to attend the boss's dad's funeral, or wanting to pay respects. I am a little confused that the funeral was on father's day though, as that's usually a Sunday. I don't think I've seen a funeral take place on a Sunday, but hey... possible. As for being pissed that she went -- why didn't you just go and say "Okay, we'll just celebrate Father's Day next weekend. No big deal.
Sorry for your loss, but you said yourself, these ex employees knew both your mother and your father so came to pay respects to her as to support your father. To compare to this case, it would people people you employed over a year ago coming to support you over your mother who they'd never met.
Load More Replies... S o o . . . Let me get this straight, you give the little woman a couple days off a year where she can associate with adults other than yourself, you're mad because she chose to give support to someone she worked with at a hard time, you are so self-centred that you don't even realize that this funeral was probably as much about socializing with people she used to work as it was supporting her old boss, and being able to forget for a few hours that she has responsibilities at home ( that her husband was taking care of, although apparently being a father on Father's Day can't just involve being a father for the day and should involve whining because of it)
I'm sorry, but he's NTA imo. If she's home with the kids, they could have done an arts and crafts card at the very least, for dad. When I was a sahm, of course I did the most of the house work and meal cooking, but my ex was an amazing father and he always wanted the boys with him no matter where he went or what he was doing. And going to the funeral of your old bosses dad? Two hours away? Idk, especially on Fathers Day, the one day you celebrate the dad in your life. I feel for the old boss, but it kind of sounds like she wanted to do anything BUT be at home with her husband.
Someone in the comments said "No one is invited to a funeral the day before the viewing/burial.” That isn't necessarily true. It really depends on the ritual/rites of the family. If I remember correctly, Jewish burial has to happen pretty fast. When I looked it up (so please feel free to correct me if this is wrong), traditionally, it has to be within 24 hours out of respect. I'm assuming, of course, this depends on how closely the family follows tradition (etc.). I do remember having to get on that flight head snappingly quick after we learned of the deaths of my in-laws :( My father was Catholic, but I don't remember anyone telling us there was any kind of timeline. Though, I was grieving so maybe someone did and I just didn't track? When I looked it up, the answers ranged quite a bit.
Technically it was 3 days before, I think. And some do get invited last minute. Actually sometimes funerals are booked and set within 3-5 days.. For domestic, anyway. I've been to six funerals (all family), been involved in the arrangements of one and seen the arrangements being done for another.
Load More Replies... Fathers Day can be celebrated on any day of the year. On the other hand, there are no do-overs for funerals.
A former boss's dad's funeral? Who blows off their family for that?
Load More Replies... ESH. Hear me out. When your wife said she needed a break, she meant she needed adult time and adult social interactions after caring for two small children all week. You didn't understand what she meant; she didn't explain it. ESH because you don't communicate your needs like adults. Yes, she broke your agreement. While I understand why she did, it still wasn't an appropriate thing to do without discussion. ESH...learn how to talk to each other.
This woman is home all day every day with high needs kids, she's right when she says she never gets a break, the funeral was just an excuse to escape, she's drowning. Working with adults all day, NOT the same as being alone with small autistic children all day
This reminds me of last year when I had been taking care of my frail elderly FIL who was battling a bone cancer and had had a stroke. I was basically his personal care worker and taking him to treatments and tests sometimes 4 days a week. One weekend my husband decides to drive 5 hours to go to a great uncle’s funeral he barely knew and left me alone with his mother and the dad who was sick (other issues than the cancer) and was having diarrhea accidents I had to clean up all over the floor. I got attitude because I said it was inappropriate for him to go and leave me to deal with everything. He basically he was going just to have a trip and get away (and drink beers with family).
I'm glad people aren't automatically jumping against the dad because he's a man, sometimes that's unfortunately everything that is looked at. I hope they can reschedule a second "fathers day" for him so he can have his day off
The real issue is the lack of reciprocal effort. He plans stuff for her to ensure she feels appreciated. She doesn't bother for him. She planned nothing for him, and when her last minute thing wrecked his plans, there was no apology or attempt to rectify things. She didn't try to find a babysitter, promise a rain check, help the kids make something they could give him while she was out. Nothing. Then she went even further by staying out an extra FIVE hours. She is definitely resentful AF about being a SAHM and increasingly detached and uninterested in her marriage. She should go back to work and they both should be heading to counseling to deal with their respective resentment.
Wow. What a jerk. He's out of the house nearly daily with other adults and no kids, and he's upset that she took ONE DAY to do the same? YTA.
My wife and i are separated and is a SAHM who homeschools our children 11 and 9 with the 9 year old being in the autism spectrum. Im still there everyday after work helping with the kids and usually take the kids on the weekends. This past Father's day weekend she had to work the entire weekend and still felt bad for not doing anything for me with the kids on Father's day. On Monday after work she bought dinner and the kids made me a card.
Yeah it's a funeral but she'd also see her old boss and old coworkers there. I understand getting home late, wanting to catch up after being stuck at home all day every day. Work isn't exactly a break but you can still go places, it's very different. When I work I feel more free than I'd feel at home all day. I get that they probably have some issues to resolve but those things he mentioned are pleasant surprises that are not to be demanded. I personally would apologize to my husband and promise to make up for it, rescheduling his relaxation day. I'm sure a bit more time with his kids didn't hurt him as much as he thought. They need to communicate better so that they won't have to write a Reddit post lol.
It's an EX Bosses FATHER, and OP makes it sound like he was informed vs asked. I wonder, but am doubting, if she offered him a different day in exchange or if she even asked if his plans could be moved. Or what about finding someone to watch the kids? Sounds like OP's wife had just pretty much checked out of the relationship, and I think that's what really needs to be addressed. But based on the post info, I'm going with NTA, BIG TIME
NTA however i made the mistake once to think because my friend was gay he couldn't be interested. Turns out he's Bi. Too many red flags there dude. Get your head out of the sand. She's neglected you for one year and has a lame excuse for a funeral of someone she doesn't know. Your partner comes 1st and you did not on a day which was yours to take like all the fathers. Do yourself a favor. Ask her to join you in therapy. See how she ll reply. If she says yes then she loves you and there is no one else. If not and starts accusing you, then you ll know.
Am very happy telling everyone here my testimony i am Ashley Miller from united state, am a nurse,this is a story of my love life.I have been married for 4 years and on the 5th year of my marriage, another woman had to take my husband away from me living me and the kids to suffer for 2 years until i met a post where this man Dr. Ehi have helped so many people in the relationship and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my husband back home and believe me all i did was to send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48 hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to share to everyone having similar problem to meet with this man and have your lover back to your self. You can contact him with this email address drudebhuluspelltemple @ gmail . com Thank you Dr Ehi. I am sure he will do same to help you all
I think ESH. I completely understand why Mom stayed out late. She definitely misses adulthood. She's with friends whom she misses as well and want to spend time with her. Dad had to cancel plans. When Father's Day went without dad having any recognition, of course he was miffed. Neither party wanted to give an inch. Mom could have apologized for not having the kids create cards or gifts. Dad easily could have allowed Mom the day and scheduled another day to himself. They both need to learn to give a little more.
Maybe you jumped at being the ah for assuming she didn't have a makeup day planned for you because of the funeral? Like here's a redo Father's Day surprise? But prob not as u said she's been dropping the ball on your day. Well you cancelled your plans tho. You could have gotten a special sitter or parent or in law to cover an still had your planned day. Although she seems to have checked out on checking in on running late tho. Prob didn't because she knew you were stewing already. But then all day w the kids is more than your evenings after work and two days a year to herself. Just apologize and remember the next Mother's Day to give what you got. If she flips then just say it is what it is. And maybe get a nanny so she can get a job an not be stuck home all day with the kids too.
YTA - '...neither of us gets much of a break from this.' BS he goes to work everyday and gets a break from it, wife has it 24/7 except for two scheduled days a year. Yeah, she may have dropped the ball on a FDay card, but it's a funeral, most people don't plan when they die, he could've simply changed plans to another weekend.
She should have had the kids at least prepare a card. The rest is just a whiny guy who can't really understand that she is with the exhausting kids all day, every day. He should be finding ways to give her more regular breaks.
According to the description it sounds like he'd do his part and feels more like she wouldn't. Even though there are fathers that really don't pull their weight, there's also mothers who don't.
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