Woman Ditches Her Family Vacation, They’re Furious As They’ve Planned To Exploit Her
Going on vacation with your family can be heaven or hell, depending on a multitude of factors. Some folks are grouches, others are a heck of a lot of fun. But if you are unfortunate enough to be in the former category, you have perhaps fantasized about just leaving them at the airport.
A woman pulled a fast one on her entitled and annoying family, by leaving for a separate vacation with her husband and ditching them. The family, who had intended to mooch off of OP and her husband were dumbfounded, but readers absolutely loved the bait and switch she set up and executed.
Some family vacations are uncomfortable enough that you might be better off not going at all
Image credits: Joaquin Carfagna (not the actual photo)
So one woman and her husband decided to simply ditch her free-loader family at the airport
Image credits: Phil Mosley (not the actual photo)
Image credits: IamevenbetterIRL
Often, people get set in a certain type of holiday
As with so many things in life, the origin of the word vacation is a lot more dry and indirect than one might think. In Medieval England, following the conquest of the aptly named William the Conqueror, the law courts would go on summer break every year, ostensibly to facilitate the harvest. This would be referred to as a vacation, but given the lack of responsibilities, it would entail free time for those involved.
Fortunately, significantly more of us than just the members of the court can actually take some time off and travel these days. For most of us, our first vacation would have been a trip, either international or regional, with our family. After all, most children can’t exactly afford to travel and wouldn’t be able to in the first place.
This is also why family vacations end up feeling like a sort of tradition that then feels “set in stone.” Despite independence, people then feel obligated to spend this time with their family, because they “do it every year.” More manipulative parents begin to use this to practically finance their vacations, utilizing the pressure they can place on their kids. After all, who wants to break traditions?
Family vacations are often not all they’re cracked up to be
Image credits: Josh Willink (not the actual photo)
The reality is that these vacations can be strained, as managing money questions with family is already a minefield. Parents themselves are not necessarily the most comfortable people to hang around particularly as they get older. Not to mention, the travel style, activities, times of the year, food choices and a massive abundance of other options can and will differ from family member to member, who are all now “stuck” in the same vacation.
This is perhaps why a lot of travel writing around family vacations actually focuses on how not to lose your mind. But at the end of the day, sometimes enough is enough, as OP’s story demonstrates. While it can be a bit sad to see someone else living out your dream, it’s also empowering to see someone actually pull a stunt like this off.
Given that OP was well aware of the issues, she employed a bit of malicious compliance by never explicitly telling her parents her plan. Her folks appeared to be operating under the classic entitled parents’ delusion that people wordlessly agreed with them and never even thought to question their daughter about the specifics.
An enjoyable vacation has a number of psychological benefits
Image credits: Mateusz Dach (not the actual photo)
First and foremost, OP laid out all the reasons why she thought ditching her family was ultimately for the best. It’s also worth mentioning that family vacations do stop, say, a couple from having a more private vacation together. Research suggests that a one-on-one vacation with your partner has tangible benefits for a relationship, from communication to trust.
By having fewer opportunities for this sort of vacation, OP’s family was, in a sense, being more than financially selfish. Other research shows that these sorts of interactions and new experiences, removed from the everyday stress of work do help a couple after the vacation. And let’s face it, a person with a job actually needs some time off that isn’t consumed by a parent or sibling who constantly wants something from them.
Readers thought OP and her husband pulled off a hilarious coup
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Well played. To some folks, "fa-a-a-a-mily" is interpreted to mean au pair, cash cow, domestic, and redcap. Smart move on OP'S part; egos will be bruised, but hopefully a lesson learned.
I have a method I’ve apparently been using in some form or another since at least pre adolescence. Whenever someone says or does something mildly inappropriate, passive/aggressive or opportunistic, I play really dumb. Absolutely oblivious. And I follow through with it to the absolute finish. It forces them to either explain their sexist joke, acknowledge in detail their passive-aggressiveness and outright say their entitled demands. They saying, “explain it to me like I’m a child” works wonders to make people be openly accountable, because you seem to not get the clue. A lot of times you can’t win in these situations with communication or direct confrontation. Be as wiley as they are by pretending you just don’t get it.
This is a very effective tactic, especially when dealing with people who are senior to you at work. It worked very well for me when I was in the Army.
Load More Replies...Two things: 1) Givers need to learn to set boundaries because takers don't have any; and 2) The only people who will be upset with you setting boundaries are those who benefited from you not having any.
How many honeymoons does the daughter and her husband need. My parents didn't really have a honeymoon until they went to Ruidoso, New Mexico when I was eleven. The daughter's baby is the daughter's responsibility.
I love Ruidoso! What a beautiful place to celebrate and relax. :)
Load More Replies...Well played. Don't fall for their DARVO projections. You (rightly) called them on their entitled behaviours, they don't like it, but that's on them, not you.
It should have been honest. You should have informed your family after the last family vacation that you would be vacationing on your own from then on. It should have been brought up that some members couldn't afford the luxury of these vacations and it is not reasonable to expect others to pay their way. It is selfish and inconsiderate to prevent others from doing things that one person is physically not capable of doing. Being expected to spend your vacation babysitting someone else's children is thoughtless and rude. I raised my kids now you raise yours. A vacation isn't a right it is a privilege that is earned. Vacations usually require planning in advance not only financially but saving days off and scheduling the time off from work. If you cannot manage to budget properly and save to pay your own way then you certainly should time something else to do that you can afford. Should have told the family to plan their own vacations.
The family did plan their own vacations. They simply lost the built-in safety net which they, wrongly, thought they had.
Load More Replies...Well played. To some folks, "fa-a-a-a-mily" is interpreted to mean au pair, cash cow, domestic, and redcap. Smart move on OP'S part; egos will be bruised, but hopefully a lesson learned.
I have a method I’ve apparently been using in some form or another since at least pre adolescence. Whenever someone says or does something mildly inappropriate, passive/aggressive or opportunistic, I play really dumb. Absolutely oblivious. And I follow through with it to the absolute finish. It forces them to either explain their sexist joke, acknowledge in detail their passive-aggressiveness and outright say their entitled demands. They saying, “explain it to me like I’m a child” works wonders to make people be openly accountable, because you seem to not get the clue. A lot of times you can’t win in these situations with communication or direct confrontation. Be as wiley as they are by pretending you just don’t get it.
This is a very effective tactic, especially when dealing with people who are senior to you at work. It worked very well for me when I was in the Army.
Load More Replies...Two things: 1) Givers need to learn to set boundaries because takers don't have any; and 2) The only people who will be upset with you setting boundaries are those who benefited from you not having any.
How many honeymoons does the daughter and her husband need. My parents didn't really have a honeymoon until they went to Ruidoso, New Mexico when I was eleven. The daughter's baby is the daughter's responsibility.
I love Ruidoso! What a beautiful place to celebrate and relax. :)
Load More Replies...Well played. Don't fall for their DARVO projections. You (rightly) called them on their entitled behaviours, they don't like it, but that's on them, not you.
It should have been honest. You should have informed your family after the last family vacation that you would be vacationing on your own from then on. It should have been brought up that some members couldn't afford the luxury of these vacations and it is not reasonable to expect others to pay their way. It is selfish and inconsiderate to prevent others from doing things that one person is physically not capable of doing. Being expected to spend your vacation babysitting someone else's children is thoughtless and rude. I raised my kids now you raise yours. A vacation isn't a right it is a privilege that is earned. Vacations usually require planning in advance not only financially but saving days off and scheduling the time off from work. If you cannot manage to budget properly and save to pay your own way then you certainly should time something else to do that you can afford. Should have told the family to plan their own vacations.
The family did plan their own vacations. They simply lost the built-in safety net which they, wrongly, thought they had.
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