“Confess Your Sins Anonymously”: 35 Anonymously Shared Secrets That People Wouldn’t Dare To Confess In Reality
Have you ever found yourself in that position where you're just going about your day and then suddenly remember something embarrassing you did years ago that no one knows about, or get struck by some very important secret that just won’t let you sleep peacefully at night? It’s always interesting to hear what kind of secrets or weird confessions another person has and whether those are worse than what we’re hiding. But what if there is a way to find this out? A Twitter account called @Fesshole was created with the intention that here, people can share things that bother them anonymously. If you’re curious to find out more about what things users online tend to keep a secret and read an interview with the creator of the account, you can do it by clicking here.
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I go for treatment every week at a cancer center infusion clinic. A nurse arranged for myself and three other patients to sit in the same area. She knew we would start talking to one another as we were there for at least 3-4 hours. We all have similar diseases. And we all became great friends. One was my age and her name was Jackie. She became my best friend. After 3 years, I at her bedside when Jackie took her last breath and have become part of her family. My other friend, Dan, passed away and his widow is like a mom to me. I treasure these relationships and the nurse that helped to facilitate them ❤️
As a woman who was literally told that my chronic pain was just because I'm "emotional", I don't find this cute. Women's health issues are too often disregarded by the medical community. Just get her a man, and that'll fix her right up!
I don't find it at all amusing, either. I almost died from a rare immune disease because many doctors (especially when I was younger and could push through being sick) assumed or suggested I was imagining it. My brother, who is a twin, has the same illness. He had constant care, constant medicines and support to keep working, always taken seriously. I was told having severe heart arrythmia was "panic attacks" I have helped a lot of persons who I met find out and research what was wrong with them after yes..meeting them at doctor's offices and us bonding over how much we were being dismissed and minimized. I have never met someone who was faking, or "lonely" or a drama queen. Yes, chonic illness is isolating and yes you get lonely. Because you're being shunned by the people who ought to help you. I'd like to kick the OP's butt
Load More Replies...Note for foreigners: the last line refers to the late Cilla Black, (dreadful) singer and TV presenter, who hosted Blind Date.
Ah, I was looking that name up to figure out the reference.
Load More Replies...I am now on year three of dealing with a severe health problem that (according to doctors) is all in my mind. I finally tried a pulmonologist, who found that I am constantly in a state of hypoxia. My blood oxygen hovers around 75 %, which qualifies as a medical emergency. If the other doctors hadn't blown off my low scores on oximeters, I would have had supplemental oxygen years ago. I'm sorry, but too many physicians disregard health problems in their female patients. This guy needs to take a reality check.
Yeah. Even if you are diagnosed they still dont believe you. I got my disabilities status rejected despite having endometriosis and cfs and severe mobility issues because my GP doesnt believe in CFS so she said in her report that i dont have any issue walking. I need a scooter to f*****g walk!
Load More Replies...I'm sure glad you aren't MY doctor! For a medical professional to state that their patients' health problems are all hypochondria is beyond the pale. What happens if you don't take my health complaints seriously, and I have a very, very serious illness? Are you going to feel at all bad about it? You've forgotten your oath, "doctor" - first, do no harm.
If this is true, this person needs their license to practice revoked. I'm an MD, you don't do this. you don't assume they're lonely, and if that is a possibility, you arrange for them to have information on how to integrate into a social group, e.g., volunteering, support groups for the lonely, etc. --- an MD
Also, they never said that they just "assume" their patients are lonely, without examining them first. If anything, it seems like this person is only "matching" the patients whom they know well (they says "people who I think will get on" so they likely knows the patients fairly well), so possibly long-time patients
Load More Replies...Can you imagine going to the doctor, having them think you're faking what's wrong with you and that all you need is a romantic partner? And don't forget they're also leaving these patients intentionally waiting in their waiting room. Wow. As someone with an invisible disability, this is my nightmare doctor. I wonder how many serious conditions they've missed because they had a 'lonely patient' they wanted to set them up with.
This is horrible!!! How can anyone think this is an ok thing for a doctor to do?
You're the reason it took me a decade to get my endo diagnosed. Fark off.
The account that now has almost 630K followers and even published a book, The Very Best of Fesshole: Britain confesses anonymously, shares confessions that range from funny and even embarrassing ones to those that might be considered more serious ones. A lot of those who decided to share their confessions talk about small and perhaps embarrassing things that they don’t want others to know about, such as hiding food from other family members, not wanting to go out, staying at home instead, stealing some trifle, etc. Some also reveal “heavier” things such as wanting to move out of their country or cheating on their spouse.
Yeah, what an awesome guy to go along and have fun with it! That's what it looks like to be secure in your masculinity. That kind of confidence and open-mindedness is so attractive. 😍
Load More Replies...And today we learn why being clear is so important. But good on him for not getting upset.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! If this is true, it's a hilarious example of miscommunication!
And a wonderful example of just going with the flow
Load More Replies...I hope he is a real prick because if that happened to me, I would turn absolutely monstrous
It would have been so funny if you mailed it back to him 6 months later.
Would all of you Pandas spend "hours" searching for a lost piece if this happened to you? I would feel frustrated, but I estimate that I would only search for 30-45 minutes before giving up and moving on with my life.
I would have blamed Bouche, shook my head at the vagaries of kittens, and gotten on with life.
Load More Replies...Funny if everyone he came in contact with while doing the puzzle did the same thing.
My cat does this. One piece, from every puzzle. I know this because I found his stash last year. Oh, and he's almost 20 years old so the little sh*t has been doing it for a long while now...
My grandma's cat is 23 going strong! With you and your cat the very best of health <3
Load More Replies...I hope it worked. In my house my doggo is notorious for stealing and eating at least one puzzle piece. I think he just wants to be part of the process in some way. We accept it and donate the puzzle to goodwill noting the lost piece.
Send it back and make the person confused and add a few clues so they feel guilty and if they write back saying something it'll be great
Cause you gotta learn the hard way sometimes, and sometimes that's the terrible feeling of having 999 of the pieces and missing just one
Load More Replies...I get really annoyed when a guy says to someone that the wife won't let him do it, when it's HIS choice. This can lead the 'friends' thinking less of the wife (she's soooo controlling) rather than less of the manly man who can't bear to take his own responsibility.
YES!!! Why must the wives always be the scapegoats?
Load More Replies...It's a lovely sentiment, but I be super pissed if I knew I was being blamed for the other half not spending time with his mates. Just tell them you're spending time with the Wife. Using her as an excuse to not lose face with his friends suggests they might be shitty friends.
A keeper would be authentic and honest with his friends about his preferred choice to stay in with his family
Load More Replies...Why can't you just be honest with your mates? I mean seriously, all your mates are probably gonna have bad feelings about your wife at this point if they think she's forbidding you to hang out with them. If I was your wife, i'd be pissed about you painting that kind of picture of your wife.
Why won‘t he just tell them the truth? This isn‘t fair to the friends nor it‘s fair to the wife.
Contrary to popular belief, most men know exactly what the story means. It means he loves his wife, and yep, she's more important to him than they are. They get it.
So you let them to think that she is an a****e instead of telling them the truth?
All the people at work, from field techs to corporate, seem befuddled by the fact that I work as little overtime as possible. Their logic is, "but it's more money". They really don't seem to grasp that I'd rather be home with my family. They've started to push, and I just smile and say no and tell them they can fire me if they need to replace me. Drives 'em nuts, because I'm pretty good at what I do and they know there are a few companies that steadily, aggressively attempt to poach me.
Is it okay to keep secrets and what does that do to our mental health? A lot of people like to keep things to themselves as they are afraid that once someone they care about finds things out, they might react badly, change their mind about the person, or break off the relationship. However, according to Dr. Alison Block, a psychologist and the Director of the Health Psychology Center, keeping a secret can make you feel even worse than actually admitting things as they are.
In a similar vein, my dad really loves Rolos, as soon as the advert came out saying "do you love anyone enough to give them your last Rolo" he has given the last one to my mum.
Whenever my husband really likes something I cook, I pretend I'm full and let him finish mine. It always makes me so happy.
That's my husband with cheese. Whenever I make something with cheese, he always gets a TON of cheese, where I would just want a little. If I'm making something where he can add his own--like sandwich wraps or salad--I just hand him the entire bag and he can pour it on by himself.
As a pet owner I empathise! I bought my cat with arthritis an electric heat-pad for under her bed. My inheritance cat decided she wanted it so I had to buy another & pay to heat 2 animals with fur coats. They are lucky they are so cute!
Load More Replies...Aww, I just always have our pups sleep with us. Never thought about a hot water bottle, but I suppose my husband's bum serves the same purpose. 😂
Is it kore of a radiant heat or a blast furnace effect?
Load More Replies...My cat has this morning routine where, after he gets fed, he howls for attention, throws himself on the floor and lies there, crying, until I come over, rub his belly for a few minutes and then scratch the base of his tail, and his belly again. If I do not perform "the ritual," he will find me in the house and scream bloody murder until I do it. I now get up a few minutes early each day, so I squeeze in the "ritual" every day.
Mine has similar rituals, including the one where if I wake him up getting into bed to I have to provide belly rubs and chin scritches until a random point where he decides we're "even". Also if something's upset him (and it doesn't take much some days), he won't eat until I've picked him up and cuddled him for no more than three (3) minutes, then he dives into the food bowl like nothing's happened 🤷🏻♀️
Load More Replies...You coulda gone to Goodwill and picked up an old mechanical alarm clock and wrapped in in a towel. The tic-tac noise/vibrations simulate his mommy's heartbeat and would have calmed him down, too.
I gave one of my rats baby food when she was ill and needed feeding up. Then her sisters noticed and wanted some of the goodies too. And now they all get a dish of baby food every single night, with variations when they start getting bored of a particular type, and their sick sister isn't even with us any more. At least they're enjoying her accidental legacy.
It's meeting the man of my dreams. And then meeting his beautiful wife 🎶
Load More Replies...My grandfather was interested in my grandaunt, but her parents wanted their oldest daughter to marry first. So he married my grandmother and they were happy together for 67 years. My grandaunt hadn't so much luck in her relationships/life and today I realised that maybe she always felt betrayed...
What an awful guy to assume two sisters are interchangeable and not caring which one he marries. I feel so bad for your grandaunt
Load More Replies...Sad, but they weren't really "dating" and it seems like her sister wasn't aware of how she felt about him. Did she tell her sister that she was interested in him? There's some missing pieces here.
none of tbat context is important when this is only about that persons feelings and the confession.
Load More Replies...I remember that night I just might regret that night for the rest of my days….
I remember those soldier boys tripping over themselves to win our praise
Load More Replies...I am so sorry that it didn't work out as you had hoped. You are a wonderful sister.
Same. Man of my dreams is married. I've never met anyone else who even comes close, so I gave up trying.
You don't need to "try", but you never know when that someone special may walk into your life, even after age 65. Just keep your eyes open.
Load More Replies...How can you help yourself in this case? Most of us are familiar with the feeling of having something weighing us down, but once we talk about it, it feels as if that weight has been lifted off our shoulders. The specialist stated that the best way is to think about our secret: why don’t we want to talk about it? Once we know our whats and whys, it’s important to think of ways we want to present the information to the person in question. Dr. Block revealed some useful tips to prepare yourself for it better, which include: writing down the confession or saying it to yourself, this way making yourself feel a bit better, choosing a place where you want to share your secret, having an explanation for why you decided to keep certain things a secret, etc.
Do you have some tips and tricks of your own? Don’t forget to leave them in the comments section down below!
How does one act superior in a supermarket? Do they spout "Dearest, I shan't forgive you for forcing me to spend time with these droll little plebians! Must they all smell so of poverty?"
Are budget supermarkets where entitled people typically do their shopping? I more picture them thinking themselves as Whole Foods customers.
Yeah this post is weird...how exactly does one act like they are better than everyone else in a supermarket (besides trying to be a jerk to a stranger)?
Load More Replies...I do that in IKEA. A high end brand of clothes that is mostly used by wealthy sailors have the same stripes as the IKEA uniform. They get upset every time. ..
I like this. Down pegging someone in a harmless way is so much more satisfying.
I am stealing this. The town where I work is absolutely LOADED with entitled twits.
I'm glad the poor kitty stayed, I can't help imagining the wife throwing him out every night in the beginning though 😟
He probably just lied and said it had been coming to the house often and that he couldn't turn away anymore I doubt they put the thing outside they say nothing about doing that
Load More Replies...What if she'd still refused? The poor adopted cat would have ended up homeless
This is why you set ground rules before you get married. I told my then-fiancée that, if we got married, there would always a cat or a dog in the house, period. He said, "We'll see about that." I said, "No, that's how it will be. I need a pet. I've had one since I was two. There will always be a cat or a dog in the house." He said OK. After 17 years of marriage, we've had two cats. Hubby just finished building a cat tree for our current cat as a woodworking project. Be upfront from the start of the relationship. That way, there's no pretending or hiding. You can both be yourselves.
Aha my husband was staunch dog guy. No cat grumble grumble, but our kids autism and dire want for a kitten we got one and he loves that little cat. He gets a baby voice talking to her 🤣.
We got adopted by a cute stray kitten half a year ago, but recently, she disappeared for 2 weeks before coming back every day. Maybe it was her owners who "kidnapped" her, but we let her out whenever she wants to! So, she's been staying here since. Asleep on our bed right now LOL.
Love this. Been in IT for over 15 years and started without any experience and have done pretty well for myself. But I had extremely good teachers, mentors, and supporters (including my family from a personal level for all of those late nights and screwed up holidays). All of that said, if you called me right now for support I'd still tell you to reboot
Years and years ago, I had a boss who did not pronounce IT as "eye-tee". He pronounced as the word "it". Some merciful soul put a note on his desk.
Load More Replies...This would be me with my sainted mother, lol! Every single time she calls me with one of her, "Something weird's going on with my computer!" meltdowns and I talk her through it, she's amazed I'm not doing this for a living. "Or you could just go to old people's houses and teach them. Yeah, that's the ticket!" I should be a millionaire by now.
I worked at an elementary school. Somehow I ended up getting recognised for my ability to solve IT issues with the TVs and computers and what not in my department. So much so that the actual IT person pulled me out of my classroom one morning and asked me to help her with a program that wasn't working. Took the whole day, but in the end I figured out what the problem was. I do not have any formal IT training, I just know how to Google stuff.
Yeah I work in IT and can honestly say the number one skill anyone has in my field is how to use search querys on Google. From website design using CSS HTML and PHP, software buildup in python, or just troubleshooting system issues in Windows, 90% of the time a web search will be involved as someone probably has sorted the issue before and we love telling each other our fixes.
When computers were just starting to go into my place of business they kept calling me every time there's a problem with a printer or a computer. I have no idea why since I ran the children's program. However they labeled me as the fix it person because I knew how to turn on and off the machines. Ridiculous
This exact thing happened to me, except I was more "volun-told." They figured that since I was a web designer and the subject was computer related, then naturally I should be the IT expert. I did get the 10% raise I requested for adding the extra duties. I quickly learned that the rare times the problem wasn't solved by reboot, just google it.
I wouldn’t want it, seriously. Rather get my usual month salary than having this on my mind forever, fearing that someone will want it back. I wouldn’t be able to touch that money.
Load More Replies...The problem with that is I would never be able to spend it because I would be afraid the moment I did, they'd come looking for it, and wouldn't be able to repay it. I suppose I could just collect interest.
Once it's passed the statutory limits for the company to legally recoup, then it becomes yours.
Load More Replies...As long as he continues working there, he can regard it as Advance Payment. It's when he leaves that he needs to settle up with them. And if this is a company where "Management Is Never Wrong", it's merely malicious compliance.
Load More Replies...I was once paid twice... didn't notice it as I'm a freelance film worker and work on multiple different jobs... then one day I get a check for considerably less than I was due. I called the payroll company and they told me they recouped the overpayment. I had to go months back and indeed they were correct. An entire years salary in one month? I don't know... I would feel extremely guilty taking that. I'd also be paranoid that they'd come after me down the line. Who needs that stress?
I once got 2 months paid at once. Didn't dare use it. They made this mistake with everyone and got it back quick. Glad I didn't spend it.
Won't the mail deamon trigger back the undelivered email? You won't have a clean proof of 'sent'.
Ahh, but those undelivered mail notifications can be absent-mindedly deleted.
Load More Replies...Today I learned that a failed-to-send email to a false address counts as proof that you sent an email. We live in interesting times.
That may yet have to be seen. If you send an email to a non-existing address, you'll receive a reply email with an undelivered message.
Load More Replies...Once knew a woman that was fired and her last check was $ 4.25. When she cashed the check the teller paid out $425.00. They called her repeatedly and she ignored them. The sheriff came to her soon. She made an agreement to pay it back over a three month period.
I'm a parent myself and if my kids were running around being a holy terror and face planted, I would tell them this is what Karma is, lol. It's really not that hard to control your kids, people. If they are on the spectrum, that's a whole other story. I've learned to have more empathy about screaming kids when my cousin had a child with autism. It's really stressful on her :(
That's a learned behavior and not their fault. Their parents should teach them better. I used the analogy farther below that if a dog is walking off leash and gets hit by a car, would you laugh because the dog is stupid? Or would you tell the owners how incredibly irresponsible they were? I think we both know the answer. I don't understand why it's so trendy to make fun of children that get hurt.
Building I worked in had an online learning school, pre pandemic in one of the offices on our floor. They had an event where the kids could come in and meet their teachers in person. Went to the ladies' room and waited in line as it was crowded. One little girl thought it was hysterical to turn the lights off for about 30 seconds, then turn them back on. The light was behind the door. Woman came into the restroom while the lights were on and inadvertently plowed her right in the face with the door. Gave the kid credit though. She didn't cry and just looked embarrassed.
He was much too busy pulling his foot back under the table to be able to stand.
Load More Replies...I had that moment when a toddler was skating (with those heely shoes) in a restaurant and the parents were ignoring the chaos. She did a face-plant near the registers and I had to hide my face laughing.
seriously, a toddler has no business in a pub. Not fair to the child. If you can't get a baby sitter stay home.
And what are the parents doing while the kid is running amok, annoying all the customers, and possibly putting his/her self in danger?
The funniest child fall I witnessed was about thirty years ago and it still makes me laugh. Toddler and mom walking along and the child trips and falls face first on the sidewalk. I was doing the whole trying not laugh. The mom looks at me and I can't hold it. The child was not hurt. He did not even cry. It was the, "WTF just happened to me" look on his face. It was priceless. I have never seen its equal to this day.
Very curious... what is a gaffer? In America, a "gaffer" is the chief lighting technician on a film set, lol. That's my husband's work title.
If I am not mistaken, it is British slang for boss or manager
Load More Replies...A guy used to do this at work , poured hinself a massive bowl every morning, we would go for a coffee at lunch and no milk. We didn't have massive fridges so couldn't store loads of milk. Nearest shop was a drive away, so noone could pop out. Everyone in the office gated that guy, he kept doing it even after everyone was told, even after he was told.
Yes, exactly, I could see how this is really annoying. As part of my job, we had accommodation with it, but the rooms were small so there was a kitchenette, I’m still annoyed over the fact someone stole my milk for their cereal and left a dribble, so I couldn’t have any cereal after I finished night duty! It was nearly 20 years ago…
Load More Replies...Our office switched from cartons to individuals because people would use the milk for their cereals instead of just coffee/tea. BYOM people!
It is probably 5x more expensive to buy little individual milk pots, plus, so much extra plastic waste! Penny wise, pound foolish.
Load More Replies...I only just realised reading this the second time that you’re not talking about a film lighting technician. I was so confused cause they’re usually such lovely people
One does not simply mix milk from two different cows. Come on people.
That's cute... Thinking you can keep the milk from each cow separate from the other. In reality the tanker trucks that haul milk from dairy farms are massive, they hold upwards of 8000 gallons each. Living in Iowa has taught me so much more than I ever wanted to know about agriculture lol
Aww let's adopt eachother. I have no family connection either and want it!
My remaining family is a pair of narcissistic toxic a-holes who have abused me all of my life; I'm adopted. Let's be family together instead! :D Want a 40-year-old sister? :)
Load More Replies...I wonder if the kids ever thank their aunt for the money, and she has no idea what they are talking about. Or worse, she takes credit for money she never sent.
What will you do when they're old enough to write thank you letters for the money?
Actually, chivalry would be for you to enter first and face the curious people that would inevitably stare at who's entering the restaurant.
I just wrote it too! Luckily someone remembers it ... :)
Load More Replies...Many men I've dated prefer that I speak to the strangers, whether in person or on the phone. It doesn't bother me, but what's with that??
I'll admit to this! We're both introverted, but she doesn't mind in most situations. My choice is always wrong, anyway. I can order her a drink swimmingly, but if it's something like "would you like seating inside or outside?", I'm always wrong :p
Load More Replies...Same. As if I don't notice he only does this at restaurants.
Load More Replies...The truth is that according to proper etiquette, a man should always be the first to enter a pub or a restaurant. So, letting your wife go in first is not a sign of chivalry, but is in fact considered rude.
Sorry, but I don't give a sh**! Whoever is walking in front should hold the door open for the next person and whoever is more comfortable talking to strangers should do it.
Load More Replies...And here I thought you were like single men, and just wanted to check out her butt!!!
Of course he did, he's not some kind of animal, you know. 🥴
Load More Replies...What is a cattle grid? Also, great curiosity results in great adventures and occasional failures. Totally worth it...
A cattle grid is a series of metal bars in the ground that keep cattle from crossing. Also know as cattle gate, cattle stop, etc.
Load More Replies...We had this guy in our bike club who liked going sightseeing. First he took us on 120 km ride to the oldest steel bridge in my country that happened to be dismounted 5 years prior and then to wash the shame he took us for castle visiting to a town over 250 km away with no castle. The castle was in a town with similar name 300 km in the opposite direction
I play Pikmin Go- there are Mountain Pikmin to be gathered. I am in Miami- we are not known for our mountains. Imagine my surprise when I googled, "Mountains near me" and one popped up! Made husband drive out to this imaginary mountain. It was never found>
UGH I'm so sorry!! I'd freak out!! I still don't understand how he was ever taken seriously by anyone. He's running a cult!!
Load More Replies...British version of the Republican party, currently imploding at the speed of light to the schadenfreudistic delight of good humans everywhere.
Load More Replies...I mean, I wouldn't ever see my spouse the same if he voted for Trump here. Wouldn't be THE reason for divorce, but would be the beginning of the end, likely.
That's how I feel. Any of the other Republican president's we've had... I wouldn't be happy about it, but Trump? That's just a complete lack of anything I believe in. I'm astounded how people still worship him. He brought all of the Ugly Americans front and center. He actually hates his largest demographic.. middle Americans.
Load More Replies...That is really funny because in over 30 years of marriage I don't think my husband and I ever voted for the same people, either at the municipal, provincial or federal level.
Do you vote slightly different or at the end of the political spectrum? I would pack my bag, if my SO of 15 years voted AfD or simillar s**t (far right).
Load More Replies...My husband told me he was voting for trump. He couldn’t understand why it made me so mad.
Does he understand now that Roe V Wade has been overturned?
Load More Replies...After reading all the comments, I now know that liberals are really made of. All we hear all the time is be open minded. Conservatives aren’t open minded or tolerant. Just read all the comments. Liberals are as full of s**t as the conservatives they love to bash. Why aren’t you guys more tolerant and open minded? Oh that’s right cause y’all are as dumb as trump supporters. What a laugh
Makes sense, although i dont use self checkouts cos i conscientiously object to providing my free labour to them on top of paying the profit gouging prices for basic essentials.
The self-checkout at my grocery is so bad that you usually need the help of at least one employee and their immediate supervisor. Thus supplying more jobs than a regular cashier would.
Load More Replies...I use the self checkout to avoid agonizing pain of social interaction
At checkout registers i always seem to get behind the one who doesn't even think they have to eventually pay, and only start fumbling for the wallet when told the amount. Then this offender has to try 12 credit cards to find the one with enough left on it for this sale. Hence my use of the self-checkout. I'm getting older by the minute and don't have time to stand behind idiots.
Load More Replies...I really love self-checkout. I get to bag my own groceries without having to do a "I've got this kid" standoff and I don't have to be offended if the checker ignores me or come up with something witty and inane if they don't. The computer doesn't care if I've had a terrible day at work and don't want to talk even a little bit.
At my local supermarket you're only allowed to use the self check-out with up to 10 items, and you have to scan the code on the receipt for the gate to open so you can leave
I wish that was stipulated at my local grocery store. One family showed up with an overloaded cart, pizza boxes toppling off frozen food and fruits and all kinds of stuff. The woman in charge of that area tried to get him to go somewhere else, but she was kinda weak about it and they just started scanning things.
Load More Replies...The grocery chain I use has never employed baggers, and the other store I go to stopped bagging when the pandemic hit, and they only brought it back recently. The first time someone bagged my groceries in 15 years, they managed to squish the bread, bruise the bananas and put two gashes in the cucumber. Went back to bagging my own stuff.
Just a couple of hours ago I was outside a supermarket and saw a group of teenage girls emerging from the self checkout, loudly screaming at some unlucky employee. Something to the effect of "WE BOUGHT IT SOMEWHERE ELSE BEFORE WE CAME HERE SCREW YOU!", while throwing what looked like bits of shredded receipt. He took a picture of them as they ran off, and one of them screamed "PERVERT!" (As you can tell, there are a lot of very classy people around here).
What if that was the funniest cr*p you would have seen all your life, tho.
I’d wager the chances of it not being all that great far outweigh the chances of it being transcendental.
Load More Replies...I mean, if you're gonna spend the effort to watch the time to make sure you reply at the right time, why not just watch the video they sent you?
One of people close to me creates podcasts as a hobby. They're really boring for me (mostly about only one topic which I'm not really interested in) and really long (the shortest ones have more than an hour). But I don't want to hurt this person feelings so I leave the upvotes anyway, listen to random part in the middle and ask one or two questions about it. The person is happy that somebody cares and I avoid boring myself to death.
If it’s above 2 mins I’m deffo not watching will just skim it to get the tone
I do that when my friend send me recording of his compositions. She's a great piano player but I can't stand her jazzy music
Hopefully you use a different emoji than 😂 though (just kidding).
Load More Replies...I saw something that said sending a TikTok is like giving your friend homework and I feel that in my soul.
Percy gets no respect(or deserve it) especially from the Wesley’s
Load More Replies...Sincere congratulations on your 18 years of sobriety, and for achieving it before you lost your cognitive ability and dignity. I've lost so many loved ones to addictions and I was helpless to help them. Sometimes though, animals can get through when humans cannot, and I think that even if you can't remember Percy, having him gave you a nonjudgemental anchor outside yourself. I'm certain that Percy is a self-appointed Guardian, and he is likely helping his next charge through their own addiction struggles.
There was this period of about a year in my life when I was pretty much always drunk. Friends or family will talk about stuff we did together during that time and I'll be like wtf are you talking about, I don't remember that at all. Worst is when it's my daughter talking about that one time we did whatever and I have no idea what she's talking about. Apparently I was pretty fun. But it's so sad that I just lost a year of my life.
A lot of companies will send you a voucher if you email them and tell them how much you enjoy their product.
I did this once as a kid! Sent a letter to anyone who had their mailing address on their products in my mom’s pantry - Mars, Nestle, Aunt Jemima, etc. Got a ton of coupons, my mum was excited :)
Load More Replies...I always remember to compliment people/companies on what they're doing good. I know what it's like being on the other end..
It feels very very good in customer-facing industries to have a stranger tell you something like “you are very good at your job.” I’d always smile and say “thank you” and LOOK like I was moving on but for the rest of the week in my little heart I’m always like “🥰🥰” (honestly can we please all start doing this to the little “mom-n-pop-shops” and small businesses in our communities? Let them know they’re doing awesome if you see it! It means so much to them and Amazon doesn’t care!)
Load More Replies...Two decades ago my dad emailed sweet and low to let them know that a few of the packets in the box were sealed but empty. They said they send him a new box. We got a case. Sweet and low for everyone!
Funny-ish story, I recently saw a frozen (Famous Brand) cake at the market. I remembered my mom buying that brand/flavor when I was a kid, so I picked one up. It was so good, exactly how I remembered it tasting, so I sent the company a quick email letting them know how much I enjoyed not just the cake, but the nostalgia it brought back. They responded with a thank you, and that they wanted to send me a coupon so please let them know which of their baked goods I'd like that coupon to be for. Welp, whoever sent the coupon must have clicked the wrong button, because it came with a "sorry we disappointed you" letter, LOL!
When I found out the queen was dead, I ran around looking for people wearing black to ask them if they were in mourning. Wait... nope. nobody did that.
Perhaps this young lady thought we were still in Victorian times?
Load More Replies...It's my clear impression that it's never very difficult to see if a person is goth or in mourning....
For one thing, Goths have more chains and piercings than a person just in mourning. Edit: A second thing they have is black/dark nail polish, lipstick and eye makeup (I actually didn't recognize my own DIL when she came home without makeup one day).
Load More Replies...I had a friend who went into full mourning for the Queen. We are Mexican, we live in Mexico City and he has never been to Britain....
Yup, every TV channel forced grief down our throats for someone we never met. I was embarrassed that other countries see this and think we are those few mad people who cry over strangers and worship royalty. NB I do feel for her family but THEY are the people who have the right to grieve and showing them up close during her funeral was inhuman, they should be allowed to grieve in private..
When our presidents die we display the same level of respect. If this is your idea of a hardship you're in for a world of pain.
Load More Replies...I somehow think that one could feel that they had "met" the Queen. She was so ubiquitous and spanned so many eras
If you rub potatoes with salt and oil, bake like you’re making jacket potaters, then slice the top of the potato off, scoop out the insides and mix insides with sour cream, little cream cheese, green onion, cheddar, garlic, white pepper, lemon pepper, salt, etc, then pipe back into the potatoes and bake AGAIN - absolute heaven!
Load More Replies...How is this embarrassing? I thought convertibles were only for poor people 'cus they could've afford a roof on their car. I think it's hilarious 🤷🏻♀️ my mom let me believe it for a long time. Saying ohh look how sad everytime one passed by. 😂
When we thought a basket of cheer was a basket full of a common laundry detergent back in the day....
Honey Pot, if that was the most embarrassing thing in your childhood, what's your secret?
sounds like an offbrand, potato-bread version of hot pockets
Odd, I’m dying to go there to get out of America. Whatever you do, OP, don’t come here. It’s even worse here
Move to America! After a month, you'll be on the first flight back to Blighty!
Don't come to the USA!! That'd be going from the frying pan into the fire!
Same except I already moved to Australia...and whenever I feel that itch to maybe consider going back to the US all I have to do is take one swift glance and I snap out of it 🙃
I grew up knowing only bad times, unemployment etc. I was one of the VERY few who got work after leaving school but things began improving in the mid 90s for us then, at the credit crunch, went downhill fast. Nothing much has happened since but Brexit, COVID, the war and the current government have ensured we'll see another 20 years of this. Will good times EVER come back? Maybe for my grandchildren..
well don't come to the USA. It is a s**t show over here and getting worse by the minute.
I did Google it. Barnton Quarry Bunker. It's not a secret or anything; there's a giant building on top of the underground structure, and a paved road leading to a sign that identifies it. In a few months it will be open as a museum. Cool story, but it's not Narnia, it's just a bunker.
To a kid in 1989, it probably felt even cooler than Narnia.
Load More Replies...I used to play near there as a kid. We all knew that there was a nuclear bunker under that hill although there was nothing to say what it was.
There was a nuclear bunker under Corstorphine Hill in the 80's
Annoyingly I'm 20 minutes from the port of Dover....pretty sure I'm not going to survive if Puke-tin drops them :(
It is better that they be married to each other and make two people unhappy than to marry others and make four people unhappy instead.
Load More Replies...I do not understand this money thing where one partner gets to do something the other doesn’t because they make more. Or the whole “well I’m paying for it so I get to choose” thing. My husband is currently sole income earner (I’m stay at home mom with two little kids) so does that mean only he gets to buy new clothes and go out for dinner because he’s the only one making money?
Once we were trying to decide on something trivial and my son said something to the effect of "dad should get to decide because it is his money" (my husband does make more than me.) However, when our son said that, my husband's head whipped around and he looked at me and said "he didn't hear that from me" and proceeded to give my son a VERY long lecture about what it means to be married and part of a partnership where everything is shared and then to set another example went with my choice.
Load More Replies...If this is how you live, you're not a married couple, you're house mates. Since you're already living like you're single, why not make it official?
it's a joke word for vagina ( Which incidentally is not censored )
Load More Replies...F a n n y is censored, but twat in the post below isn't? OK BP you do you
I don't know any woman who would call their private parts a twat
Load More Replies...Just testing BP's auto-censor: New production of W***y Wonka and the Chocolate Factory starring D**k Van Dyke and F***y Flagg. (But yes, it means vulva/vagina in the UK & buttocks in the US) (Edited to correct spelling of F***y's surname) (Edit #2, oh, interesting, it didn't censor F***y's. Hmmm. W***y's Wonka and the Chocolate Factory starring D**k's Van Dyke and F***y's Flagg. That sounds worse than the original, LOL!)
And because his autocorrect failed him, and you were a grammar Nazi, you lost the love of your life. I think Hollywood has made about a dozen rom-coms based on this exact scenario.
Lady. I had a shitty day. Reading what you have written just made my day better. Thanks
That could have been audio text changing it to quaint essential, even though he said quintessential
FAN NY! FAN NY! FAN NY! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE! BUT THOLE!
I once met a man at a party who bragged he only ate healthy food while his hand kept reaching behind him to grab cheese doodles and shoving them in his face.
I've had a 3yo pee while sitting on my lap. the IDGAF is insane
Load More Replies...I eat waaaaay more butter than my cardiologist would like to hear about.
I used to steal the stick of butter off the counter when I was a kid. My mother used to find me underneath the kitchen table licking it like ice cream cone. 😬
My 2 year old LOVES butter. I am waiting for the day when he realizes he can reach the butter dish on the counter using his stepstool.
My 4yr does too. Along with raw spices, flour, garlic so many random things
Load More Replies...My soon to be 16 year old has been eating cold butter since she was 2. she is weird as well.
I've been doing it since I was a pup. My great grandmother who I never met apparently did too
Load More Replies...My mom said I did that as a tot. She would find me in a corner with a fill stick in my greasy little hand.
Those are some of my favourite friendships too. We show love with increasingly crass insults.
The best case I had of this was a friend of mine where we somehow transitioned into increasingly Shakespearian insults. My personal favorite: "Methinks thou art a general offense and every man should be at thee!"
Load More Replies...one of my friendships consists almost solely of sending cursed memes back and forth with no context, and another one is mostly your mom jokes
my hubby and I have no filter at home, say whatever we want. It is very offensive and racist (he is black BTW) and freeing! It's my favorite thing. We can say what we want without worry and it makes us both feel so good.
I self insert a lot. Idk why, but I'll think, this is what I'd do and say in the situation, how I'd respond. Almost like I'm there.
Load More Replies...Everyone is dying for my advice and brand suggestions lol
Load More Replies...Top gear is amazing. Not the new guys though. Hammond, Clarkson and James May were the best Top Gear
"Meanwhile I was left to drive this piece of c**p. 'Speed' and 'Power' are a pipe dream. But I was still a lot faster than Captain Slow."
Most but not all. Definite difference in the store brand Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Load More Replies...Nothing wrong with this. I buy lots of foods in cheaper bulk brands since toddlers/preschoolers go through food like crazy (and waste a lot). Same with clothes, my kids love shopping at the thrift store and most of the items I find a barely worn. But I will spend a bit more on a nice sweater for myself because I will be able to wear it for years and years. Kids grow too fast.
Aldi/Lidl cornflakes taste the exact same as Kellogg's to me ...maybe I'm just easily pleased
Check the nutritional content though... I've noticed the generic version usually has A LOT more added sugar! As if they intentionally want the poor to get less healthy!
Sugar is both heavy and cheap. And more sugar means more sales.
Load More Replies...I understand where this is coming from but you may actually feed them more chemicals, food coloring, conservatives etc. than you should. Fun fact: cereal is candy disguised as healthy food.
Used to buy generic and put it in brand name boxes. They never knew the difference
I do that with coffee. I keep the nice stuff for myself and visitors (when I get any) get cheap stuff
Omg how dare those people hold on to little sparks of joy and excitement into their adult life? How dare they enjoy special days together in a way they all like? /s
OMG what is it what is it OMG I am dying with excitement OMG IT'S A SLINKY!
Load More Replies...My family opens one present at a time for Xmas and everyone admires each present. We take multiple breaks for snacks and to play with the kids toys.
An absolutely wonderful way to do it. We like that way too, as in my family often the gift giver loves to have time to see the reaction. We also consume copious holiday cookies and coffee/cocoa and play with our "toys".
Load More Replies...Don't begrudge anybody their happiness when they aren't taking it from somebody else.
Shame it's a Twitter comment as I'd like to know if OPs wife and siblings grew up with parents/guardians who didn't acknowledge their birthdays, so they're enjoying it as adults.
This!! I grew up poor and had to grow up way too quickly. I cherish acting like a child whenever I can!
Load More Replies...Birthdays shouldn’t be celebrated. It’s a sad occasion remarking you’re getting older and closer to decay and eventually death
Load More Replies...When I became an adult I started doing Christmas stockings for my parents every year. I figure why not let them enjoy one of those little childhood pleasures again? I even sewed the stockings myself!
Don't you wish you could get that much joy out of life? Why not join the fun?
My ex husband was a rangers supporter and a total a**e hole so I'd love to have done exactly this!
Same here. In my residential area the mothly parking fee is an equivalent of GBP 50 to 70. If you are lucky and there is a space available for rent. I've been parking illegally there for 4 years now and got 4 tickets each for less than GBP 20... so in 4 years I paid approx. the same amount I would otherwise pay per month.
Wow - it sounds like your parking fines are more tailored to the level of offense rather than used to raise revenue. The tickets where I'm from are so expensive I don't know how people with lower paying jobs can possibly afford it, making it even more of an unfit punishment. Of course the parking rules and signs are not easy to follow either.
Load More Replies...My sister used to park illegally near her work. She calculated that she had to be towed more than three times a month for it not to be worth it. The impound was only a short walk away and she got friendly with Jim the impound guy and he would cut her a break. She did this for two years in Toronto.
I asked a local resident if I could park on their drive. They're at work themselves and they get the appearance of someone being home (added security). They text when they have a holiday planned so I can make other arrangements. Parking around my work is around £35 a day = £175 per week = £8,227 per year!
I can relate. For a very long time, in my city the fine for parking without a ticket was 5€ and for having an expired ticket was 10€. And even then you only get caught once every leap year, so my statistic is still a fortune in the greens.
It's a card for loyalty points you gain when you shop at their stores, then exchange for discounts, goods etc. Co Op is a retail chain, mostly supermarkets but they provide insurance, funerals, legal services.
Load More Replies...To hear their comments on the place, make adjustments then to better the place, methinks
Load More Replies...As a Realtor, I always advise my clients that they could be listened to via any number of electronic devices, and we never discuss price/strategy in the house.
Depending on your local laws, it may not be. Where I live only one party consent is necessary.
Load More Replies...I think you are past borderline unfortunately, once you start deceitful behaviour that's when you know the addiction has got its claws into you. I really hope OP manages to get on a detox program followed by rehab.
Not necessarily. There are families where every mention of alcohol is shameful (I mean families thinking that one beer once per month is as bad as drinking a bottle of wine every evening). Person growing in a family like this will be ashamed of buying alcohol, even if they're not in fact alcoholic. Or in small communities where are only few grocery shops and people loves to gossip...
Load More Replies...But they *will* comment. My mother's an alcoholic, 2 bottles of wine a night, every night. When she buys 6 bottles at a time, she's had cashiers ask if she's having a party.
Load More Replies...I'm not borderline alcoholic. But I have a pretty well stocked home bar. I impulse buy discount bottles all the time. I now compare bottles with the cashier and we talk about our favorites. If I can get a $50-60 bottle on clearance for $16 I'm going to buy it
Ïf you are hiding your alcohol purchases, you have crossed the borderline a while back.
Why do you care what the cashier thinks? I imagine they don't give a s**t one way or another.
I read that the shame is part of the addiction. They are projecting their feelings about themselves onto the cashier.
Load More Replies...I used to go to the liquor store at different times so I wasn't always getting my bourbon from the same person. Now I just don't care!
So he pissed in his bedroom floor where his laptop happened to be and blamed his daughter for it at work. Phew. I have no words. 🤷🏻♀️
This is probably the guy from that other article who refused to attend his sister's wedding if there wasn't an open bar.
The driver of the bus I took to school (back in the 1970's) would wait for no one. You weren't at the stop and had to run? - tough, he'd just drive away even though he saw you. There was this one Latin professor and his son who also took that bus, and they both were the most arrogant SOB's I've known. The professor has had polio when young so he walked kinda funny. One day he was late and had to run after the bus, and his "running" looked grotesque because of his disability. Didn't make a difference to the driver, he just drove off. Another day it was my turn to be late, and I knew that running after the bus would be fruitless, but I ran after it anyway, imitating the arrogant professor's gait. That was the only time, ever, that the bus driver waited, and when I got on he grinned.
insulting/mocking traits like race, gender, sexuality, & disability says way more about you than the person you're trying to get back at.
Load More Replies...Football/Soccer team in Scotland. Driver wants the wearer to get soaked in the rain as he probably supports a rival team and therefore sees that particular football shirt as "dirty". It's not uncommon to hear the phrase "you've got s**t on your shirt" when someone's referring to the badge on the shift of a team they don't support.
Load More Replies...Celtic top (presumably a sports team jersey) buses make big splashes when driving, therefore OP wants to splash Celtics enjoyes
Load More Replies...i'm almost 18, my dad recently turned 50. we obviously have very different senses of humor. still, when he texts me memes & jokes that he finds funny, i respond with "lol!" & a meme in return; i have a folder in my phone gallery full of memes suited to my dad's sense of humor so i can make him smile. i knew it was all worth it when i got a text from my sibling saying to stop sending dad such cringy memes because "he won't stop interrupting me & showing them to me while giggling." warms my heart to know i'm making my dad so happy even if the jokes aren't my sense of humor <3
Load More Replies...Don't know what is wrong with some people. My wife did not find "Where does a general keep his armies? - In his sleevies" funny at all.
Don't know if it'll make you feel any better, but not only did I giggle out loud at this, I'm also looking forward to telling it to my partner when they get home from work later on.
Load More Replies...As an old person (late 50s), this is pretty sweet. The only texts hubby and I share are usually just me yelling, "ANSWER YOUR PHONE!" All of our texts look like that. I'm not always yelling, he's just too proud/vain to wear his glasses in public, lol.
A paparazzi caught Robert De Niro doing just that while he was sitting in his car at a stop light. So, if it's good enough for Robert De Niro...
Unless RDN faked it for the sake of the paparazzi...?
Load More Replies...It profiteth a man nothing to gain the whole world and lose his wife; but for Fulham?
Let's hope they stay longer in the EPL this time. They yo-yo in and out of it so many times, I lost count XP
My sister's partner refuses to have anything but Taylor Swift as his screensaver, background, phone background, calendar...at a push he'll have Stevenage FC. I don't know how she feels about this lol.
I sincerely hope the level is lower because the foam dissolves... those 8yo braincells should NOT be exposed to alcohol. Also, OP applauding him for supposedly trying his beer??? What an awful parent.
When I was a kid, I was my dad's drinking buddy. Could chug a whole beer by the time I was 3. My parents taught me how NOT to raise my own children 🙄
Load More Replies...My first taste of beer was around the same age. Back when Pepsi cans had more red and less blue. Was watching a movie with dad and grabbed my pop. Only it was dad's budwiser. They looked the same in my peripheral. Getting "beer" when you expect pop is terrible. I was convinced I didn't like beer until I was about 28
I am surprised an eight year old would try it more than once. I hated the taste of beer when young.
I love how overly critical and judgy the comments are in this thread. The account was created SPECIFICALLY to get embarrassing things off your chest. Or things you're not supposed to be gloating about, but yet you do. These people KNOW there is something off or even plain wrong about what they just shared, or they wouldn't share on a page like this. I really enjoyed the posts in this thread, but hated the comments. This is seriously one of those threads that would benefit from a function to block the posting of comments under each contribution. I really don't think these posts were meant for us to take it and run with it.
+100 to this! I was thinking “did people forget the purpose of the twitter account/this post?”
Load More Replies...Here's my confession: If an anti-vax Covid denier falls ill, I smile and say, "Oh, that's sad, would you like to sign up for this long Covid research project?" I used to try to help them. Now? They have destroyed millions of lives. So, yeah, here, try this weird combo of vitamins and prescriptions ----- you don't believe in vaccinations against Covid, but you'll take this cocktail of doom, sure, whatever, here's the paperwork, sign there, have fun if you get the placebo. And then I drink a cup of hot chocolate and wonder if I'm as big a b***h as Karma is, or if I'm just Karma's little helper, or if I'm going to hell. But after two years of those a--holes, I'm sticking to the first rule of medicine. I'll do no harm. That's all. F**k 'em. No, I'm not angry and bitter, why do you ask?/s/
Here's my confession. For seven years, I've been hiding the fact that my best friend is being abused and taken advantage of by her boyfriend. I've been hiding it because I know her boyfriend has a gun, and I know that he knows where I live, and I know that he keeps it loaded and cocked at all times, and I don't want to take even the slightest risk of her dying and possibly me dying as well.
Load More Replies...they've picked only the really tame posts from this twitter account - go read the real thing for some properly twisted stuff: https://twitter.com/fesshole
Sometimes I like straight Reddit, sometimes I like Reddit Curated (BP).
Load More Replies...I use to drive at least once a week through x highway. There is a 2 mile spot with a lot of motels (not the family type, but those for couples, outlying rates). Every time i drive by this part of the road, I honk and wave anybody who is entering or leaving , so they s**t their pants by thinking someone caught them cheating. If I’m not having sex, no one is! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Joke's on you #24: the queen was known for wearing brightly colored clothes.
I love how overly critical and judgy the comments are in this thread. The account was created SPECIFICALLY to get embarrassing things off your chest. Or things you're not supposed to be gloating about, but yet you do. These people KNOW there is something off or even plain wrong about what they just shared, or they wouldn't share on a page like this. I really enjoyed the posts in this thread, but hated the comments. This is seriously one of those threads that would benefit from a function to block the posting of comments under each contribution. I really don't think these posts were meant for us to take it and run with it.
+100 to this! I was thinking “did people forget the purpose of the twitter account/this post?”
Load More Replies...Here's my confession: If an anti-vax Covid denier falls ill, I smile and say, "Oh, that's sad, would you like to sign up for this long Covid research project?" I used to try to help them. Now? They have destroyed millions of lives. So, yeah, here, try this weird combo of vitamins and prescriptions ----- you don't believe in vaccinations against Covid, but you'll take this cocktail of doom, sure, whatever, here's the paperwork, sign there, have fun if you get the placebo. And then I drink a cup of hot chocolate and wonder if I'm as big a b***h as Karma is, or if I'm just Karma's little helper, or if I'm going to hell. But after two years of those a--holes, I'm sticking to the first rule of medicine. I'll do no harm. That's all. F**k 'em. No, I'm not angry and bitter, why do you ask?/s/
Here's my confession. For seven years, I've been hiding the fact that my best friend is being abused and taken advantage of by her boyfriend. I've been hiding it because I know her boyfriend has a gun, and I know that he knows where I live, and I know that he keeps it loaded and cocked at all times, and I don't want to take even the slightest risk of her dying and possibly me dying as well.
Load More Replies...they've picked only the really tame posts from this twitter account - go read the real thing for some properly twisted stuff: https://twitter.com/fesshole
Sometimes I like straight Reddit, sometimes I like Reddit Curated (BP).
Load More Replies...I use to drive at least once a week through x highway. There is a 2 mile spot with a lot of motels (not the family type, but those for couples, outlying rates). Every time i drive by this part of the road, I honk and wave anybody who is entering or leaving , so they s**t their pants by thinking someone caught them cheating. If I’m not having sex, no one is! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Joke's on you #24: the queen was known for wearing brightly colored clothes.
