Weddings are one thing. But the juicy wedding anecdotes that get passed around from guests in real life is another. From fussy bridezillas to nightmarish decor, hilarious invitations, accidents, "what da heck was dat" moments, and even full-blown fights… Some people live for the nuptial gossip.
And the chances are they belong to this quirky online community that deliberately targets some shame-worthy weddings. Captioned "let’s shame those weddings," the subreddit r/weddingshaming is the online home for roasting wedding themes, brides, grooms, wedding parties, in-laws, outlaws, guests, Uncle Bob, vendors, and more. “You name it, we shame it!” states the community’s description.
Created in 2018, the controversial subreddit now has 151k members who love digging through anything wedding-related. So let’s take a look at what they dug up and shamed down below.
The world of wedding shaming offers real-life drama combined with sassiness and a fair share of roasting, all in the comfort of a virtual environment. Groups like the “That’s it, I’m wedding shaming” Facebook group, which has 80.6k members, and the r/weddingshaming subreddit with 153k members have become somewhat of a phenomenon in the past 2 years. It turns out there’s something universally irresistible about ripping apart someone’s supposed best day of their lives.
Luna, the moderator from Australia at “That’s it, I’m wedding shaming,” told Wired that “There’s something about weddings, whether you’re invited or not, that just brings out the worst in people.” She suggested that this is precisely what gives the group a feel similar to reality TV shows.
This online shaming trend became a hit back in August 2018 when a post from a group shamed a bride for asking her guests to pay about $1,500 towards her wedding. The story went viral after it was shared by model and social media star Chrissy Teigen.
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But many people are not so positive about this new trend, claiming that “beneath those silly nuptial stories lies an online playground of hate.”
Bored Panda reached out to Darlene Lancer, clinical psychologist and the author of “Codependency for Dummies” and “Conquering Shame and Codependency.” Darlene said that wedding haters and shamers are not members of a “hate group,” according to the FBI.
She explained: “hate groups” direct their hatred against a particular race, religion, gender, ethnic group, or people of a particular sexual orientation. The FBI investigates these hate groups to protect democracy and individual liberty.” In that sense, wedding shamers are not one of them.
Darlene further explained that “Ironically, public displays of extravagant and ostentatious weddings may also be fueled by shame where the emphasis is on impressing other people of the family’s wealth and status.” Such behavior can be a compensation for not feeling adequate or sufficiently respected.
Shaming others, the clinical psychologist suggests, is a way of protesting and ridding themselves of shame people have inside, which is often hidden and unconscious.
“It may be fueled by anger and envy because of the widening discrepancy between classes of haves and have-nots. Aggression and envy are also defenses to shame,” Darlene concluded.