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“[Am I The Jerk] For No Longer Wanting To Be In My Sister’s Wedding After Her Request?”
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“[Am I The Jerk] For No Longer Wanting To Be In My Sister’s Wedding After Her Request?”

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Once upon a time we told you a story about a guy who insisted that his then-girlfriend be in a relative’s wedding photos – only for his fiancee (another woman, of course) to wonder a few years later – who was that woman next to him in a family photo?

So, this story is diametrically opposite, and here the bride-to-be acts weird as hell, literally out of the blue provoking family drama in relation to her future brother-in-law. The author of this story, the user u/consequentialism_97, has collected over 7.6K upvotes and nearly 650 comments in just a few days, so let’s figure everything out together…

The author of the post has a younger sister who is going to tie the knot soon

Image credits: Corey Balazowich (not the actual photo)

The author was overly upset when the bride-to-be demanded her husband not be present in the wedding photos

Image credits: u/consequentialism_97

The bride-to-be’s argument was something like ‘just in case,’ but the author says she has a really great relationship with her spouse

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Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: u/consequentialism_97

So the author considered RSVPing “no” but decided to seek advice online first

It is likely that the sister of the Original Poster (OP) also read this old story of ours about wedding photos. How else can we explain that when, on the eve of her own wedding, it came time for a photoshoot with relatives, the bride demanded that her older sister be shot without her husband?

As the bride-to-be herself stated – ‘just in case…’ No, if you thought that the author of the post was just recently married, or that she and her husband have a bad relationship, then you are definitely mistaken. No, just the opposite – they have been married for a long time, they have a child together and, as the OP herself says, they never said an unkind word to each other.

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The original poster tried to find out – perhaps the sister wanted only blood relatives, or only bridesmaids, to participate in the photoshoot… but no, all the principles by which her husband could be screened out did not work. Just a principle like “what if you get divorced later, and I’ll have to look at a random dude for the rest of my life?”

Now the author of the post is seriously wondering whether it is even worth attending the wedding of a person who treats her own family with such disdain. And, I must say, now only the desire to find out the collective opinion of netizens on this matter is keeping the OP from RSVPing “no” literally on the spot…

Image credits: Moose Photos (not the actual photo)

“At the first glance, it sounds as if the bride knows something about the husband that the wife herself does not,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this situation. “But, as far as I understand, this woman’s sister and her husband actually have barely met a few times in their lives, that’s all. So the ‘skeleton in the closet’ version can definitely be discarded. Other options remain – for example, that she really doesn’t expect that the sister’s marriage will last long.”

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“In this case, it really looks like a manifestation of disrespect for the sister and her partner, and since the principle ‘my wedding, my rules’ applies here, then the answer to this can be ‘it’s my business to come to the wedding, it’s my business not to go!’ Personally I would advise this woman to talk frankly with her sister and try to find out the motives for such behavior, and try to find a compromise. I think this is still possible,” Irina presumes.

People in the comments have also come up with a variety of likely reasons for the bride-to-be’s behavior, ranging from some dark secrets behind the original poster’s back to the likelihood that the OP’s husband is probably incredibly hot and the bride-to-be simply doesn’t want him to outshine the groom.

Well, the author of the post immediately rejects all possible insinuations about her husband and sister, assuming that this may be due to the sister’s biased attitude towards her numerous exes. Be that as it may, now the woman plans to go to the wedding and try to enjoy it – but if she notices that her sister is trying to somehow single out her spouse – call her out in public. How reasonable do you think this idea sounds?

Commenters came up with various versions, from the darkest to some obvious entitlement, but urged the author to attend the wedding anyway and try to enjoy it

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Image credits: Logan Brumm (not the actual photo)

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kathrynbaylis avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OK, I’m going to say it, because I know most of us thought it, even if only fleetingly. I also know I’m risking a lot of downvotes, but here goes. Is OP’s sister a closet racist and is OP’s husband of another race? Is the fact that OP and husband might divorce one day just sister’s cover excuse for excluding him, when the real reason is she doesn’t want someone of another race “sullying” her precious wedding pictures? I know that, in normal times, could be considered a worst case scenario, but the times we’re living in now aren’t normal, and racism has been let out from under its rock and allowed to flourish in public. There are those amongst us now, more than a half century AFTER Civil Rights, who are openly—-even proudly!—-racist nowadays. So this worst case scenario may be the case. With a little more context, we might know for sure. There. I’m done. Open the gates for the lunatic fringe to join in, and unleash the abuse. I won’t hear it, as I am not going to check the comments for this article again.

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No downvote from me, I actually thought the same. If she specifically doesn't want him in the picture because he's not the same race as the rest of the family, and just him, it seems like the closest reason why. For me, that'd mean I won't be in the pictures either. You take my partner, you take me, there is no one without the other

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imamanimal avatar
Ima Manimal
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d say that if he’s not included in the pics, then I’m not being in them either

brianne_amos avatar
Brainmas
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah sorry, I'd be pissed. Certain new relationships were a potential problem with my sister's recent wedding, so we had everyone pictures and no significant others at all pictures. Singling one person out is crazy.

Load More Comments
kathrynbaylis avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OK, I’m going to say it, because I know most of us thought it, even if only fleetingly. I also know I’m risking a lot of downvotes, but here goes. Is OP’s sister a closet racist and is OP’s husband of another race? Is the fact that OP and husband might divorce one day just sister’s cover excuse for excluding him, when the real reason is she doesn’t want someone of another race “sullying” her precious wedding pictures? I know that, in normal times, could be considered a worst case scenario, but the times we’re living in now aren’t normal, and racism has been let out from under its rock and allowed to flourish in public. There are those amongst us now, more than a half century AFTER Civil Rights, who are openly—-even proudly!—-racist nowadays. So this worst case scenario may be the case. With a little more context, we might know for sure. There. I’m done. Open the gates for the lunatic fringe to join in, and unleash the abuse. I won’t hear it, as I am not going to check the comments for this article again.

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No downvote from me, I actually thought the same. If she specifically doesn't want him in the picture because he's not the same race as the rest of the family, and just him, it seems like the closest reason why. For me, that'd mean I won't be in the pictures either. You take my partner, you take me, there is no one without the other

Load More Replies...
imamanimal avatar
Ima Manimal
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d say that if he’s not included in the pics, then I’m not being in them either

brianne_amos avatar
Brainmas
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah sorry, I'd be pissed. Certain new relationships were a potential problem with my sister's recent wedding, so we had everyone pictures and no significant others at all pictures. Singling one person out is crazy.

Load More Comments
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