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“Consider Her A Friend”: Bride Taken Aback By Coworker At Her Wedding, Wants To Confront Her
Deciding who makes the wedding guest list is never easy, and if you get an invite from a coworker, it’s a clear sign that you’re important to them. But things can get tricky if your office pals do something that rubs you the wrong way on the big day.
Take this bride, for example. After her wedding, she shared an awkward situation online about a coworker who showed up in a white dress, completely disregarding the dress code. Now the author’s stuck between confronting her coworker or keeping things strictly professional. Keep reading to see how she handled the situation.
RELATED:
Wearing white on your wedding day is a moment most brides dream of
Image credits: Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author sought advice online on whether to confront her coworker for not bringing a gift
Image credits: Spora Weddings/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Unknown-Language-94
The bride went on to provide more insight into her perspective on the situation
A thoughtful and considerate wedding guest can make the couple’s special day even more memorable and stress-free
Image credits: Антон Залевський/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Weddings can be quite expensive. So, if you get a spot on the guest list, remember, it’s a sign that you matter to the couple. It means they really want you there on one of the most important days of their lives. And one of the best ways to show your support? By being a good wedding guest.
First things first: RSVP on time. Seriously, it’s one of the easiest ways you can help out. The couple might be juggling caterers, seating charts, and a million other details, so your prompt response takes one thing off their plate.
On the big day, the focus should be on the couple. So, instead of engaging in a debate with Aunt Carol about why she’s not sitting near the cake table, remember this is their moment. Try to avoid creating any drama.
“Couples are often already juggling a lot of emotions, and the last thing they need is family drama,” says Casi Yost, a wedding photographer from California. She recalls one wedding where a couple’s parents argued over the number of family photos, which just added unnecessary stress.
Another super simple but often overlooked etiquette is keeping your phone on silent. The ceremony is an intimate and emotional moment for the couple, and they don’t need to hear a random ringtone or notification going off. It might be a small thing, but it shows you’re present and respectful.
It’s important to respect the couple’s dress code on their big day, as it helps create the atmosphere they’ve dreamed of
Image credits: AS Photography/Pexels (not the actual photo)
When it comes to what to wear, it’s all about honoring the couple’s wishes. Whether the dress code is black tie, casual, or themed, it’s important to follow the guidelines. “It’s important to follow the dress code to show respect to the couple who are getting married and have made the request,” explains etiquette expert Myka Meier from Beaumont Etiquette.
And it’s advisable to leave the white outfits at home. “White is the color reserved for the couple getting married. By wearing white or off-white, it can be seen as though you are taking attention away from the couple,” adds Meier.
Another important reason to follow the dress code is that sometimes it’s not just about style—it could have deeper meaning. In some cases, the dress code is tied to religious or cultural traditions that the couple wants to honor. Or, the venue itself might have its own rules about what’s appropriate to wear.
Besides the obvious dos and don’ts, there are some other etiquette tips one should follow: Be on time for the ceremony (or even a little early), don’t bring extra guests unless it’s explicitly mentioned on the invite, and actually read the couple’s wedding website. It’s there to help you avoid confusion about things like dress codes, venues, and other details.
In this particular story, many commenters advised the author not to confront her coworker who showed up in white and didn’t give a gift. As much as it stings, calling someone out for not bringing a present can come off as rude, and no one wants to be that kind of couple. What do you think—should the bride speak up or just let it go?
People online felt it would be rude for the author to confront her coworker and advised her against it
Others felt the author was justified in feeling upset about her coworker wearing white to the wedding
After considering all the advice, the author decided to maintain a strictly professional relationship with her coworker
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What do you think ?
Bowtechie 1 month ago (edited)
I feel like a lot of the commenters missed the point that OP had told the coworker the dress code so imo the coworker's actions, both the white dress and the lack of gift, were completely intentional. That said, I think OP made the exact right decision to let it go and just distance herself from the coworker. Coworker is the type of person who WANTS a confrontation, and likely already has a plan to make sure it backfires on OP. The coworker is just an attention seeker and the best way to take the wind out of her sails is to simply not give her any attention. Put it out of your mind, OP. She's not worth the headspace or emotional bandwidth.
Libstak 1 month ago (edited)
I have a caveat, did work colleagues pool resources and provide a gift for the wedding? If co worker contributed at work she may feel her job is done. That being said, this is not a nice person, she is married herself and yet wears white to someone else's wedding. She can't pretend she doesn't know this is wrong and OP needs to recognise there is no good reason to stay friends with her.
Agat 1 month ago (edited)
There should be a fifth answer in the survey: I've never cared what my guests wore to my wedding at all, they could come butt naked for all I care. As for gifts, we asked them not to give us anything. Clearly a cultural difference because my eyes go wide whenever I read about this obsession with weddings, cards, dresses, being "a center of attention" (how entitled can you be?!) and this being "their day". I don't understand this mindset and hope not to.
Ben Aziza 1 month ago
That is it... I too dont understand that mindset. I dont think i would want ppl who care about those things to such a level to be at any wedding i am having... well they would not be my friends in the first place i guess... I rather focus more on the person i am marrying than "the day".
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Bowtechie 1 month ago (edited)
I feel like a lot of the commenters missed the point that OP had told the coworker the dress code so imo the coworker's actions, both the white dress and the lack of gift, were completely intentional. That said, I think OP made the exact right decision to let it go and just distance herself from the coworker. Coworker is the type of person who WANTS a confrontation, and likely already has a plan to make sure it backfires on OP. The coworker is just an attention seeker and the best way to take the wind out of her sails is to simply not give her any attention. Put it out of your mind, OP. She's not worth the headspace or emotional bandwidth.
Libstak 1 month ago (edited)
I have a caveat, did work colleagues pool resources and provide a gift for the wedding? If co worker contributed at work she may feel her job is done. That being said, this is not a nice person, she is married herself and yet wears white to someone else's wedding. She can't pretend she doesn't know this is wrong and OP needs to recognise there is no good reason to stay friends with her.
Agat 1 month ago (edited)
There should be a fifth answer in the survey: I've never cared what my guests wore to my wedding at all, they could come butt naked for all I care. As for gifts, we asked them not to give us anything. Clearly a cultural difference because my eyes go wide whenever I read about this obsession with weddings, cards, dresses, being "a center of attention" (how entitled can you be?!) and this being "their day". I don't understand this mindset and hope not to.
Ben Aziza 1 month ago
That is it... I too dont understand that mindset. I dont think i would want ppl who care about those things to such a level to be at any wedding i am having... well they would not be my friends in the first place i guess... I rather focus more on the person i am marrying than "the day".
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