Man Refuses To Accommodate Niece’s “Special” Diet For Thanksgiving, Divides The Family And The Internet
It’s beginning to look a lot like… Thanksgiving! The daydreams of turkey, stuffing, cranberries, pie, and more stuffing (just keep piling on the stuffing!) enter your mind like a light drizzle nourishing the earth from which all those gifts have come.
But as families come together to celebrate the wondrous occasion of gratitude, unresolved issues come forth, and toxicity takes the center stage. Just like it did in this person’s family, a couple of days before the actual occasion.
A Reddit user named throwaway6301122 asked the ‘Am I the [Jerk]?’ community whether he was in the wrong for refusing to change any of the planned-out meals to accommodate his niece’s dietary restrictions. The answer seems pretty obvious just out of this much information; however, there’s always more than meets the eye!
We are very curious to hear your thoughts on the story, dear Pandarandas, as well as what you most look forward to when it comes to Thanksgiving! Without further ado, let’s dive into the story!
More info: Reddit
When we think of Thanksgiving, we imagine all the delicious food, however, some people need to have it prepared a special way to meet their dietary requirements
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that people look forward to the most, the reason being the food. Seeing family is nice too, of course, but it’s made all the better with mouthwatering bits of culinary goodness. We’re talking roast turkey with gravy, cranberry sauce, sage and sausage stuffing, ultra-fluffy mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie…
Now I’m hungry. And so would one 21-year-old lady, named Bria, be. The Original Poster (OP) decided to host a Thanksgiving dinner this year alongside his wife, inviting a good portion of their family over. Only his sister Maggie pulled the rug out from under him, asking whether they’d be preparing anything that her daughter Bria could eat, as she’d started following a special gluten-free diet. He was less than thrilled, to say the least.
One man decided that it was a mere personal choice for his niece to take up a restrictive gluten-free diet right before the holidays. Here’s the full story:
Image credits: throwaway6301122
Two gluten-related disorders affect 1–7% of people worldwide, causing a myriad of abdominal issues. Treatments rely on following a strict gluten-free diet
Image credits: Klimt (not the actual photo)
From how the OP spoke of Bria and the rest of his family, it seemed as though there were some very deep-rooted issues that they needed to discuss in order to clear the air. The competitive relationship between his sister and wife, the immediate judgment and marking of someone else’s needs as insignificant, just because they’d tried different diets in the past, all leading towards a break in the family dynamic.
The holidays are meant to unite those that are closest to each other, either by blood or by bond, yet it seems they can also drift them further apart when negativity takes precedence. Especially when one person is medically unable to participate in the holiday celebrations unless they’re allowed to bring their own food or have options available.
So let’s look a little bit deeper into gluten intolerance. According to Healthline, it holds a place among the most commonly occurring dietary restrictions, with two gluten-related disorders affecting 1–7% of people worldwide. They’re celiac disease and non-celiac gluten sensitivity.
Although they’re different, they lead to similar symptoms of abdominal pain, diarrhea, and weight loss due to nutrient malabsorption, which can later lead to inflammation and damage to the small intestine. Current treatments for both disorders rely on following a strict and lifelong gluten-free diet, where one avoids ingredients like wheat, barley, and rye.
As stated on Eat First, the side effects of ingesting gluten can last between hours and days afterward. Coeliacs, on the other hand, can do permanent damage to their stomachs, and in serious cases, even go into life-threatening anaphylaxis. So, after all of this, one can see that this isn’t just a fad, but rather an important aspect of one’s health.
The ‘Am I the [Jerk]?’ community almost unanimously agreed that the OP was a jerk for being so rude to his niece and sister, with one person saying, “Hosting is about making guests feel comfortable. Why are you hell-bent on punishing your niece? It’s not hard to make things gluten-free but at the very least let her bring her own food.”
“As someone who was diagnosed with celiac in her 40s, I ate gluten for nearly 40 years. Now, when I accidentally have it, I end up violently ill for a week. Your sister isn’t being competitive. You are being [a jerk],” stated another.
1.3k comments followed, and 2.8k upvotes boosted the story upwards, and it seemed to have shifted something in the OP’s mind. He then updated the post, stating that the family had come towards a compromise, all thanks to the responses in the Reddit community helping the OP see the other side of the equation.
Here’s what the internet community thought, as well as the personal stories they shared
Some believe that this could have been a Not-The-Jerk situation, had the circumstances been different. Let us know your own opinions in the comments below!
After receiving a lot of criticism from the online community, the man decided to find solutions for them all to be able to celebrate together, as stated the update:
Image credits: throwaway6301122
It’s nice to see that the family was able to have a discussion and start working on having a celebration together rather than separately. You did it, internet! You brought a family back together! And well done to you too, OP! Not all want to see the darkness within them, but you took all the advice and critique and it led to a very sweet outcome for all.
There’s nothing worse than missing out on the most beautiful celebrations of the year and being alienated from those you love the most just because of something you cannot control. Following a gluten-free diet is a learning process, not only for the person suffering from it but also for family and friends.
Thankfully, there are heaps of recipes fit for those intolerant to gluten that replicate the tastes and textures of beloved foods. Gluten Free on a Shoestring have shared their best gluten-free Thanksgiving recipes, which you’ll be able to find if you click on the hyperlink. It takes adjusting to, but it’s not impossible!
So what can we all learn from this, dear Pandas? How about we don’t distance ourselves from our family members just because of something as simple as food, but rather work together to find the best solutions, to fit all parties, and bond the members of said family further. Good memories created, lovely food had, and gratitude shared.
We are always capable of changing for the better, and sometimes it takes a whole community of people to show us the correct way, lighting the path ever brighter. Bored Panda has reached out to the OP of the story, but if he comes across this article first, then hello! Glad things worked out for you and hope you have a lovely time!
Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving as well, dear readers! Don’t forget to upvote, share your thoughts on the story and your plans for this upcoming holiday, and have yourself a jolly day!
This is nice that in the end he realizes that what he did was wrong so YTA and NTA
Yes, a decent, reasonable person. He reacted impulsively, but then changed his mind. Hope we can all be like that.
Load More Replies...Last year i made Thanksgiving dinner for 6 people. One person was gluten free, one was a vegetarian, and one was a diabetic. Instead of making 1 big meal, I made a variety of small dishes so there would be something for everyone... it was a logistical nightmare, but we laughed it off and had a great time. Giving people what they need is how we say "I love you."
The best thing about this, is that when called on it, this guy listened, recognised that he was being an a*****e, and changed his position. Just because you start off being an a*****e, doesn't mean you have to end that way.
Yep, everyone makes mistakes. A true a*****e is someone who won't admit they're wrong and plows ahead regardless.
Load More Replies...I have coeliac, and get exasperated at people who whine about discretionary gluten-free, when it mostly doesn't affect them at all. The more people who do it, the better the choices.
While the "supply and demand" issue is solved for you, which is a good thing. Doesnt the "trendy gluten free" make awareness and acceptance of your condition problematic? Genuine question.
Load More Replies...I said this in another post but do families really expect one person to prepare ALL the food? We always split up items and everyone brings a couple dishes. I don't understand this drama about people not being able to bring dishes. Let your family help you and also make sure there are dishes everyone likes by letting everyone contribute.
I agree. In my family everyone brings something. We discuss it as a group to decide who is bringing what. That way everyone gets to contribute and takes a load off the host. Besides everyone has that one thing they like making and do well. It always tastes better.
Load More Replies...Well, it was a clear YTA. I'd been partway through wondering if OP was ignorant or an a*****e for presuming the gluten-free diet was out of choice rather than necessity, but the edit at the end makes it clear OP thought Bria had chosen the diet because she was bored. OP's reaction to Maggie's offer to bring a special dish for Bria was a clearer YTA. I am glad Redditors managed to get OP to see the error of his ways.
literally. Made me kinda mad when he said she could eat the pie. I was like... Yk pie crust has gluten??? I was on a gluten free diet for a month or three bc I'm slightly allergic to wheat and we were seeing if it was something else making me sick, but I got a lot of ignorance. "Oh why can't you eat bread on your gluten free diet?" 😂
Load More Replies...I think it is nice that OP asked questions and found out the niece has sound medical reasons for going GF. However, there are many many people who like to jump on any bandwagon of things and tend to demand people accommodate their latest trend.
A gluten-free diet only benefits people that have a medical condition preventing them from having gluten in their diet, such as celiac disease, gluten sensitivity/intolerance and wheat allergy. For an average person without these conditions, it makes absolutely no difference at all. For the people who don't rely on gluten-free, it is just a fad that they use to act superior like a militant vegan lording it over someone eating a steak
So.... I have an allergy to the bleaching process, so I went gluten free, Drs diagnosed with gluten intolerance 10 years ago, when I started baking again I was having contact reactions with flour and starting changing things around to find out the bleaching allergy. I read all the ingredients and I refused to eat anything that wasn't naturally gluten free because the chemicals in gluten free pie crust, bread, cookies etc were just as damaging as the wheat flour. The daughter, who at 21, apparently had no voice... The mother apparently doesn't know how to communicate... So it left OP finding about medi al issues by way of the internet, which is sad, because Mom and daughter are complete pushovers and just complain...
Load More Replies...Sounds like there is history of the sister being competitive and attention seeking. But Solution is to say “this is what we are making and the ingredients we use, if she can’t eat this, bring something she can eat…but DO NOT be disrespectful to my wife and pull your attention seeking b******t… CLEAR?”
That's assuming she even meant to be competitive. Sometimes people just do their own thing and are seen as competitive by someone else with either low self-esteem issues or anxiety. I always ran in gym class while preparing for the mile run exam with all I had. I found a joy in running that I truly enjoyed. My friend thought I was just ignoring her. I had no idea, and was lost in the running for 2 weeks before I realized something was bothering her. Once we figured it out, I was able to run with her sometimes and help find ways for her to improve for the exam. We were close and kids though, so outbursts are more likely to happen. Point is, maybe one of them is just really proud of her culinary skills. Maybe it is one of the few things in which she feels she excels, and she had no idea that it was causing issues. I'm amazed sometimes at how people just won't talk, then get all upset because so-and-so didn't know that they were even causing issues.
Load More Replies...WAS TA, NTA now. You calmed down and listened and asked questions....brownie points
I think sister and aunt are either TA or need to learn how to use their voice. There's a big difference between: my daughter had a tick bite and now she's allergic to red meat, what can you and I do...... And is there peanuts, yea most of the stuff has peanuts in it, can she bring something different.... Seriously, this is going to be last Christmas all over again with you hiring a caterer...well how is Cindy going to eat? /// (Both are different than gluten free, but show how to talk and how not to talk as different people with different dietary restrictions)
Load More Replies...Ah, holiday season is here; the sweet smell of family joy. :-D
There is entirely too much between spoiled brat and competitive bullshite that was left out. I'd be willing to bet that everyone, at lest on OP's side of the family, is an AH to some level and that it goes back years. (Edit) Just read his update and I still stand behind my original comment. OP's sister could have easily lead into the conversation with the fact that there is a health concern and this likely would have never ended up on AITA. And no, I don't think he's a total AH for not inquiring deeper into the reason. It's simply not his responsibility to find out the reason why.
The comment about gluten intolerance not being as much of an issue in Europe, I have a good friend who had a severe gluten allergy, like, hives level severe, as well as corn and a few other common grains. She grew up in the USA, but went on a trip to France for several months. While in France, she accidentally ate some gluten and didn't react to it. So she ate more on purpose....totally fine. For months she got to eat whatever she wanted and she was thrilled, then she returned to the states and bam, allergy returned. It's probably how the grain is grown and processed, certain pesticides or some such used here and in countries we import wheat from, like China. The standards in many European countries are different for what's allowed to be used agriculturally.
I'm allergic to the bleaching process, at my worst I would eat ice cream and cake and know I wouldn't hold it down long. Now I bake my own stuff, knowing what chemicals are in it, and I'm good. She needs to experiment and see what's going on. She could even be allergic to a synthetic version of a vitamin they put in the flour
Load More Replies...I think the primary issue here is that is was short notice. Thanksgiving prep takes ages; he'd probably already bought all the ingredients. That said, let the other family members bring a dish. That has no impact on the host. I'm a little skeptical of the sudden gluten sensitivity though; I know it does happen suddenly sometimes, but rarely is it both sudden and totally life-threatening, in my experience. The daughter should definitely start learning which ingredients are in which foods. They should ask the host to keep the packaging for them to look at, so she can determine which of the prepared items she can have-- but also accept that eating at someone else's house does mean there's probably some cross contamination happening. (Though like I said, I'm skeptical that it's that serious that suddenly.) TLDR Host should *try*, affected family should accept that short notice changes are not completely reasonable, *everyone* should bring whatever they want, why the heck not?
the neice could've had a sensitivity for a while, but never knew exactly what it was
Load More Replies...If your going host any event it's your responsibility to make sure everyone has options. It's just good hosting.
NTA... You can't fault OP when his sister left out the important detail that it was for medical reasons. I've known a half dozen people following gluten free diets and only one person was doing it for medical reasons. It's a fad just like the Adkins diet 20 yrs ago or the Keto craze from 5 yrs ago.
The personal development of this man is chef's kiss. He didn't realise it was a medical issue (and wasn't told? surely you'd clarify that it's a medical issue and it's very important she doesn't get served gluten right?) and when he found out he did his best to give them what she needed. Good on him
Or maybe it was mentioned a bit but he wasn't listening. I have always been surprised at how much of a conversation people just assumed the other one knew what they were talking about or just came up with their own interpretation. Example: I told an ex I understood his cat had died, but it had been 5 days, and he really needed a shower. He immediately said okay, I'll lose weight. I was like what? I told him his weight was fine as long as he was comfortable, and his response was heavier people get sweaty and smelly. I told him after about a week of no shower anyone would be smelly, and he went back to other things. It was like speaking to a wall. Obviously we didn't last long, but I really can't judge unless I know the whole thing. Maybe everyone just needs to sit down and hash it all out.
Load More Replies...I'm glad he listened. My little brother has celiac disease and the last time he accidentally ate gluten (it was supposedly a gluten free restaurant, advertised itself as such, but evidently not), he was so ill that he could barely keep down water. Celiac is not something to play around with.
A little bit of YTA. The niece had a history of fd diets, the sister had a history of competing with his wife, he jumped to a conclusion. The sister could have called and said the niece was recently diagnosed with the disorder and had dietary restrictions, could they be accommodated. It looks like it all worked out, but some people were very harsh.
My sister and I both work with food and we just had a conversation about allergies last night. We both agreed that if you are ordering/getting food for yourself and have an allergy or for someone you know has an allergy, it's your responsibility to be smart about it and make that s**t known. She had told me a story about a couple that came in to the other place she works at where person 1 got halfway through her order before mentioning she can't have gluten and only because person 2 mentioned it at the beginning of his order. Then she proceeded to be rude about finding options that didn't have gluten. Meanwhile, we had a pleasant interaction at the place we both work at where a woman was allergic to nuts so we grabbed a fresh bag of friend garlic so that there was no chance of cross contamination. Let people know as soon as you're able to so people can accommodate. Don't just say, "can't have" say that you are allergic.
If someone is hosting a dinner and someone decides they have a restricted diet at the very last minute they should supply their own food that they can eat. It's inappropriate for his sister to expect him to last minute accomodate her. Why couldn't she accommodate her own daughter? It was a douche thing to say she could eat whatever everyone else eats and he should have just offered that his sister or his niece bring her own dishes. I hosted Thanksgiving for 17 yesterday and there was no way I could accommodate any last minute request and it would be really rude and inappropriate for anybody to ask. After dishing out tons of money for the entire meal I shouldn't have to dish out more to accommodate special dietary needs last minute, it's just rude.
"Why couldn't she accommodate her own daughter?" Did you miss the part where she VERY CLEARLY OFFERED TO? The sister asked if she could bring a special gf-free dish for her daughter to eat, and OP shot her down. Also the daughter didn't just "decide" to go on a restrictive diet, last minute, she had a legit medical condition, as the post clarified.
Load More Replies...It's wonderful that he listened to criticism and acted accordingly instead of disregarding it. Now his neice will be able to enjoy Thanksgiving without stomach problems. I love a happy ending
I could understand if he thought it was a fad diet or picky eater. But the mom offered to bring food.whicg usually indicates a medical issue. But I will say this people who follow the gluten free trend ( with no health issues towards it) are kinda easy to point out because they don't know gluten is. I got asked by many people if raw unseasoned chicken was gluten free. When I asked what gluten was they thought it was a fat bi product. It's grains. Other than the stuffing, and pies he can still make a lot safe dishes. Like grilled corn on the cob, unbreaded casseroles, and meats.
??? Ive had plenty of people on fad diets bring their own foods to things... More importantly, mom could've just STARTED with saying that it's a medical thing rather than saying daughter won't eat gluten with no elaboration.
Load More Replies...Not the AH and never was. It’s obvious this sister is always trying to one up the wife so he was being protective of her, not to mention he states the niece is always changing her diet. Sister should have prefaced the “request” with “Daughter has just been diagnosed with a gluten sensitivity or celiac or whatever is her issue, and can’t eat wheat products and anything containing gluten. Is there anything on the menu that she can eat? If not, I’ll be happy to bring gluten free xyz so as not to put you out”. Instead she chose to just put it out there as a if it was another dietary experiment. Sister is the AH.
just don't host if it is such a problem everyone can do their own meal in their own home, I never understood this whole forced get together thing when people clearly have an issue with each other
I'm glad this one has a happy resolve. I've seen people start diets because they want to be different or special in their social circle, be it friends or family, and then drop it when it gets too hard to keep up with. I've also seen legit medical problems randomly rear their ugly heads later in life, me being a victim of that exact situation. Hope he keeps it in mind to ask clarifying questions before coming to a conclusion in the future.
Eh, with the daughter having done fad diets before the mom shouldve had the basic forethought to tell people about the medical issue first, rather than waiting for others to ask about it...
Load More Replies...I'm diabetic. There's no scenario where I would expect someone to accommodate my dietary issues during a traditional holiday gathering. It's my problem, not everyone else's. If I need accommodating, I handle it myself. Otherwise, I'll be avoiding most of the spread. It's not the host's responsibility unless it was their idea from the get-go.
Just eat turkey and vegetables. Dont take potatoes and dessert when it goes by. Problem solved.
sadly, sometimes it's not just problem solved. Gluten and wheat is in a weird variety of things, like soy sauce. I wouldn't feel comfortable eating things from someone else without labels, especially since she went gluten free for medical reasons
Load More Replies...He's definitely the a-hole. Shouldn't be a problem for her to bring her own meal. Making a big deal over something like this is kinda bizarre.
I'm highly allergic to bell peppers and my oldest sister doesn't care. Told her over and over but she thinks a little won't hurt. It only takes a sliver to set my allergy off.
that's an assholeish sister, I'm so sorry. I hope she understands soon before things get too bad
Load More Replies...My question is why didn’t his sister plan the diet ahead of what he was cooking way before what he planned on cooking so it gives him a heads up??
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons, could've found out at a bad time
Load More Replies...There’s nowhere in the store does she said her daughter has an allergy to gluten so it was something she chose to do. He is not an AH
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons
Load More Replies...I get where this guy started. Come to find out, I'm allergic to the bleaching process, and when I was gluten free (and kind of helping) a lot of people were going gluten free eating gluten free cookies and stuff because "they're healthier" when in fact are worse for you because all the chemicals (and would also make me sick). Gluten free was a HUGE trend and with her history, I'd say NTA, the mom or daughter(21 years old, should have a voice) should have advised and not waited for HIM to re-engage. Amazing guy for actually taking people's on the internet advise, but shame on the mom and daughter for not actually talking about it and having the internet explain to the guy instead of family
Several years ago, we went to visit my in-laws(sis and now exbro) at their new cottage. At this point I had been part of the family for a decade, married almost as long. They knew I was allergic to fish/shellfish/seafood, so... they start up the BBQ for burgers and start making a salad... bro in-law adds calamari to the BBQ with the burgers and then adds ceasar dressing to the salad. He then got nasty with me when I ended up not eating the meal he cooked. Thankfully he's no longer married to my hubby's sister, who I adore. She didn't know until too late for that meal what he had done till too late.
i might get downvoted but NTA. just beacuse he states that she randomly starts and stops diets because shes bored so it isnt any medical related things she isnt going to die if she eats gluten.
wait no sorry i misunderstood YTA i feels foolish now because it is a medical condition just read it as the opposite of everything i typed
Load More Replies...My grandmother, born 1902 south central Italy desperately poor family developed a mild gluten intolerance in later life. She could no longer eat pasta, I kid you not. She was not fussy at all about anything (see: desperately poor). Food sensitivities are not just fads.
NTA. You don't get to go gluten free because it's cool. It can legitimately kill and it's miserable to have to live on the diet
The update states that it was a medical issue and not a fad diet.
Load More Replies...NTA... Gluten free: Turkey, Potatoes, Green Beans, and pie without the crust. Avoiding bread and pasta is easy as pie. Here my question, and why I think the OP isn't TAH; how much heads notice did they have? Show up at my place last minute making demands, you'll be SOL.
I was staying for dinner with my bff and his husband. My bff hadn't arrived yet. His husband is a wonderful cook. But I don't eat most vegetables and didn't want to waste any food. So I let him know. Come to find out a few days later his husband told him I didn't like anything he cooked and wasn't invited to join them for dinner. I cried to think he felt like that. Later my bff said he did remind him that people do have food issues. Nother friend said I should have just thrown what hadn't eaten in the trash. I felt dam*ed if I do and dam*ed if I don't. And no even if he offers me to join them for dinner my answer will be no. Not out of retaliation but save any misunderstandings.
Glad to see that you communicated and found out what your nieces problem was. And it sounds like you fixed things in your family beautifully. So while you started out sounding like the AH, you have graduated to an adult who learned something and is doing the right thing. Congratulations.
I'm old school and have live about 7 decades. I'm sorry, I'm w OP.. especially if there's a competitive lady who wants center stage. IF the gluten free is a problem surely there are things still served up and can eat w/o being martyr bringing her own little dish. I can picture this dewy eyed poor Ole me girl who has now divided the family. Why not just bring some side dishes both she and others can sample too instead of being a drama momma ( girls mom not young lady).
Many people are saying that he was the a-hole but he really wasn't. His house, his rules. Just because they offered to bring food doesn't change anything. He was preparing a meal and he made that clear from the beginning. He had no idea that it was medical and the mother should have led with that. It's not his responsibility to research anybody's medical history. All they had to do was let him know that it was medical and he would've adjusted the menu. There's a lot of things that I don't eat for medical reasons and I don't expect people to adjust menus for me. If I do want them to adjust a menu for me I let them know early and I tell them why. Even then, I don't expect them to make changes but I appreciate if they do.
And like the sister said let someone else host. He is an a** for not allowing someone to bring an accommodating dish. And simply not being accommodating. The rest of the family was also in agreement. His house, his rules goes out the door when others are prepare to takeover and properly host.
Load More Replies...At least he realized he was being the AH and owned up to it. I hope they had a good Thanksgiving dinner!
Sorry, I'd have done the same bc I buy all my foodstuff slowly in the couple months previous. Also have a pretty rough nerve pain condition and a trip to Walmart, even small ones, can really screw with it. But even without it, yeah you don't tell people hosting you for food about dietary changes the *day* before, ESPECIALLY with a meal many begin cooking the day/night before. However, Idgaf if ppl bring their own food. THAT'S the only assholithic part.
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons, which they could've found out at any time. I agree he should've let the niece bring her own dish either way though
Load More Replies...I'm not gonna comment on his post , I'm only gonna ask why the f**k do you people post your conversations on the internet and then seek validation/invalidation? Are your lives and decisions so insignificant to you that you need the opinion of the most unimportant community on this planet? Make a decision then follow through or reevaluate and proceed by your self, want help with something the ask a professional.
I have trouble making decisions for myself, especially about myself and situations. There's a lot of stories where a family is divided, and I think having anonymous opinions could help decide if I was justified or not.
Load More Replies...This family needs some healing. What should be a simple accommodation for someone you supposedly love and care about has turned into a drama fest. Why? OP alludes to some underlying tension with the sister. Time to get that sorted or disengage from the relationship.
Bria is 21, not really a kid any more. She can bring her own food and eat whatever is gluten free at her uncle's house. He shouldn't say anything about her bringing her own food, that's for sure. Bria can politely say that herself, not through her mother who has a history of competing with host's dishes.
Well, we are german, but enjoying thanksgiving dinners with our friends, because we love this tradition. We have at least one vegetarian and one strict non alcohol this is both a choice (gluten free more often then not isnt), but i go with it nontheless and made a vegan bean roast as a second main besides the turky and vegan gravy, i even enjoyed the challenge and it turned out so great i even make it for us now and then. So yes if i host sth i make sure everyone can enjoy it or i leave it be
Wow, I did not expect this. I was totally prepared to call the sister and her daughter AH. Nice to see someone seeing his errors
As soon as your diet requirement changes, it becomes your responsibility, your problem. It is your job to bring everything you can eat. As the host i will advise that it safe to conclude that my food is not nut and gluten-free. i will ensure however, that your plate and utensils will be sterile and your food will be kept separated, heated and served at the same time. I am on the hill with the Hosts.
As someone who has multiple family members that have Celiac, major Dairy intolerance (basically allergic), and one that is vegan, I understand that having to adjust meals can be frustrating, but it is worth it. I organized Thanksgiving this year, and if you are able to, I advise before holidays, figure out what you can buy well in advance, what you can prep and even make the day before, and what you NEED to make day of. Also outsource any meals you can lol. Just make sure that family member is reliable and is good at cooking.
First off, almost no one of European ancestry is allergic to gluten. It's basically statistically impossible that any significant population could have survived passing genes if they were allergic to gluten in Europe, considering it has been the primary source of caloric intake on that subcontinent for hundreds of years. But I digress. Your food preferences are your own problem and no one is required to accommodate you. If you are a 21 year old adult, don't expect anyone to take you seriously if you deploy your mommy to bend the entire family eat what you like this week. You're 21; sit down, stfu, bring a covered dish of something you *feel comfortable* eating. Why is this even a discussion? Why is this even relevant to anyone except the 21 year old adult with esoteric food preferences?
I have an allergy to anything in the broccoli family (broccoli, kale, cabbage, etc) but people don't believe me. I've had to be taken to the ER twice now for an epi shot. I can walk into a room and smell if there is broccoli or cauliflower, etc that has been cooked there. If in large enough quantity raw can set me off. My lips and tongue start to itch and swell and I get a rash. Not good. And I have friends and family who don't believe me and make jokes about it. One friend served me spinach dip made with cauliflower, and a cauliflower crusted pizza. 😡
Gluten free Thanksgiving meal: turkey, steamed green beans, mashed potatoes, corn-starch based gravy, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie filling in a custard dish, cranberry sauce. The only thing a gluten intolerant guest could not eat at my table would be the dressing casserole and rolls. If I were given notice, I would use corn-starch gravy, steam green beans for them (green bean cassarole for everyone else) and make pumpkin pie filling in custard cups. No big deal. No need for drama.
If you're going to be picky about someone else's food, being your own or stay home.
One day isn’t going to hurt that spoiled little brat diet it’s not like you eat Thanksgiving every day or Christmas every day he didn’t react impulsively to many other people who bitching one about the f*****g diet says, whining impulsively one day is not going to hurt your pissy little diet cry me a River a little girl
There is plenty of food that could be considered non gluten. A quick change of a few things and you are good to go, you dont even really have to change anything. My house had prime rob, ham, turkey, pork, cranberries, potatoes, cheese, salad, coleslaw, sweet potatoes, beef and turkey gravy, cornbread, and a few other things, none of which had gluten. Thanksgiving is pretty easy to accomodate.
hey, cornbread isn't normally gluten free unless specified on the package or homemade like that, along with gravy. Please be careful in saying these things and maybe letting gluten free family and friends eating these things, especially without checking. Either way thats a c**p ton of food! I hope y'all had a good time ❤️
Load More Replies...I feel that since this is due to medical reasons and NOT just a whim, that indeed...you were a jerk. It's not just that you didn't want to accommodate it's that you wouldn't allow your sister to bring something that your niece could eat. From your comment about your sister and wife "competing" and the subsequent remark your wife made to have someone else host...it appears you are well matched. You are both jerks.
NTA most gluten free people are just entitled pricks just like the vegans
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons. I wouldn't call someone who's allergic to wheat a prick, but thanks for another word for more people to call me!
Load More Replies...You are under no obligation to include a nut job to your guest list and she is under no obligation to attend. You are hosting a dinner not running a fashionable trendy restaurant.
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons.
Load More Replies...Yes, you are an *hole. If one has special dietary restrictions, one cannot always expect others to accommodate them. (In certain situations, though, it cannot really be avoided: If you invite Muslim or Jewish guests for dinner, you cannot feed them pork.) The girl's mother offered to bring special food for her daughter so you would not be inconvenienced. Though you framed it as such, this had nothing to do with upstaging your wife's cooking. Rejection of her offer reveals your silly pettiness and close-mindedness--surprise! not everybody thinks or eats like you. Worse, it drives a wedge in family harmony on an important holiday. Grow up.
I'm no master chef, but preparing gluten-free baked goods can't be hard. You choose gluten-free flour. If buying store-bought baked goods, you look for gluten-free on the label. Sauces, gravies and condiments? Check the ingredient label for wheat, barley, and rye.
I think gluten free baking is a lot more complicated, but with premade sauces and things I think that's pretty much it haha
Load More Replies...Oh, FFS - bring your own food or stay the f*ck home. No host is required to accommodate everyone's food preferences. One's gluten intolerant, one's vegan, one has nut allergies, etc. JUST. STAY. HOME.
Did you read the whole thing? Because OP was annoyed that they OFFERED TO BRING THEIR OWN FOOD. It doesn't matter tho, bc they worked it out
Load More Replies...This is nice that in the end he realizes that what he did was wrong so YTA and NTA
Yes, a decent, reasonable person. He reacted impulsively, but then changed his mind. Hope we can all be like that.
Load More Replies...Last year i made Thanksgiving dinner for 6 people. One person was gluten free, one was a vegetarian, and one was a diabetic. Instead of making 1 big meal, I made a variety of small dishes so there would be something for everyone... it was a logistical nightmare, but we laughed it off and had a great time. Giving people what they need is how we say "I love you."
The best thing about this, is that when called on it, this guy listened, recognised that he was being an a*****e, and changed his position. Just because you start off being an a*****e, doesn't mean you have to end that way.
Yep, everyone makes mistakes. A true a*****e is someone who won't admit they're wrong and plows ahead regardless.
Load More Replies...I have coeliac, and get exasperated at people who whine about discretionary gluten-free, when it mostly doesn't affect them at all. The more people who do it, the better the choices.
While the "supply and demand" issue is solved for you, which is a good thing. Doesnt the "trendy gluten free" make awareness and acceptance of your condition problematic? Genuine question.
Load More Replies...I said this in another post but do families really expect one person to prepare ALL the food? We always split up items and everyone brings a couple dishes. I don't understand this drama about people not being able to bring dishes. Let your family help you and also make sure there are dishes everyone likes by letting everyone contribute.
I agree. In my family everyone brings something. We discuss it as a group to decide who is bringing what. That way everyone gets to contribute and takes a load off the host. Besides everyone has that one thing they like making and do well. It always tastes better.
Load More Replies...Well, it was a clear YTA. I'd been partway through wondering if OP was ignorant or an a*****e for presuming the gluten-free diet was out of choice rather than necessity, but the edit at the end makes it clear OP thought Bria had chosen the diet because she was bored. OP's reaction to Maggie's offer to bring a special dish for Bria was a clearer YTA. I am glad Redditors managed to get OP to see the error of his ways.
literally. Made me kinda mad when he said she could eat the pie. I was like... Yk pie crust has gluten??? I was on a gluten free diet for a month or three bc I'm slightly allergic to wheat and we were seeing if it was something else making me sick, but I got a lot of ignorance. "Oh why can't you eat bread on your gluten free diet?" 😂
Load More Replies...I think it is nice that OP asked questions and found out the niece has sound medical reasons for going GF. However, there are many many people who like to jump on any bandwagon of things and tend to demand people accommodate their latest trend.
A gluten-free diet only benefits people that have a medical condition preventing them from having gluten in their diet, such as celiac disease, gluten sensitivity/intolerance and wheat allergy. For an average person without these conditions, it makes absolutely no difference at all. For the people who don't rely on gluten-free, it is just a fad that they use to act superior like a militant vegan lording it over someone eating a steak
So.... I have an allergy to the bleaching process, so I went gluten free, Drs diagnosed with gluten intolerance 10 years ago, when I started baking again I was having contact reactions with flour and starting changing things around to find out the bleaching allergy. I read all the ingredients and I refused to eat anything that wasn't naturally gluten free because the chemicals in gluten free pie crust, bread, cookies etc were just as damaging as the wheat flour. The daughter, who at 21, apparently had no voice... The mother apparently doesn't know how to communicate... So it left OP finding about medi al issues by way of the internet, which is sad, because Mom and daughter are complete pushovers and just complain...
Load More Replies...Sounds like there is history of the sister being competitive and attention seeking. But Solution is to say “this is what we are making and the ingredients we use, if she can’t eat this, bring something she can eat…but DO NOT be disrespectful to my wife and pull your attention seeking b******t… CLEAR?”
That's assuming she even meant to be competitive. Sometimes people just do their own thing and are seen as competitive by someone else with either low self-esteem issues or anxiety. I always ran in gym class while preparing for the mile run exam with all I had. I found a joy in running that I truly enjoyed. My friend thought I was just ignoring her. I had no idea, and was lost in the running for 2 weeks before I realized something was bothering her. Once we figured it out, I was able to run with her sometimes and help find ways for her to improve for the exam. We were close and kids though, so outbursts are more likely to happen. Point is, maybe one of them is just really proud of her culinary skills. Maybe it is one of the few things in which she feels she excels, and she had no idea that it was causing issues. I'm amazed sometimes at how people just won't talk, then get all upset because so-and-so didn't know that they were even causing issues.
Load More Replies...WAS TA, NTA now. You calmed down and listened and asked questions....brownie points
I think sister and aunt are either TA or need to learn how to use their voice. There's a big difference between: my daughter had a tick bite and now she's allergic to red meat, what can you and I do...... And is there peanuts, yea most of the stuff has peanuts in it, can she bring something different.... Seriously, this is going to be last Christmas all over again with you hiring a caterer...well how is Cindy going to eat? /// (Both are different than gluten free, but show how to talk and how not to talk as different people with different dietary restrictions)
Load More Replies...Ah, holiday season is here; the sweet smell of family joy. :-D
There is entirely too much between spoiled brat and competitive bullshite that was left out. I'd be willing to bet that everyone, at lest on OP's side of the family, is an AH to some level and that it goes back years. (Edit) Just read his update and I still stand behind my original comment. OP's sister could have easily lead into the conversation with the fact that there is a health concern and this likely would have never ended up on AITA. And no, I don't think he's a total AH for not inquiring deeper into the reason. It's simply not his responsibility to find out the reason why.
The comment about gluten intolerance not being as much of an issue in Europe, I have a good friend who had a severe gluten allergy, like, hives level severe, as well as corn and a few other common grains. She grew up in the USA, but went on a trip to France for several months. While in France, she accidentally ate some gluten and didn't react to it. So she ate more on purpose....totally fine. For months she got to eat whatever she wanted and she was thrilled, then she returned to the states and bam, allergy returned. It's probably how the grain is grown and processed, certain pesticides or some such used here and in countries we import wheat from, like China. The standards in many European countries are different for what's allowed to be used agriculturally.
I'm allergic to the bleaching process, at my worst I would eat ice cream and cake and know I wouldn't hold it down long. Now I bake my own stuff, knowing what chemicals are in it, and I'm good. She needs to experiment and see what's going on. She could even be allergic to a synthetic version of a vitamin they put in the flour
Load More Replies...I think the primary issue here is that is was short notice. Thanksgiving prep takes ages; he'd probably already bought all the ingredients. That said, let the other family members bring a dish. That has no impact on the host. I'm a little skeptical of the sudden gluten sensitivity though; I know it does happen suddenly sometimes, but rarely is it both sudden and totally life-threatening, in my experience. The daughter should definitely start learning which ingredients are in which foods. They should ask the host to keep the packaging for them to look at, so she can determine which of the prepared items she can have-- but also accept that eating at someone else's house does mean there's probably some cross contamination happening. (Though like I said, I'm skeptical that it's that serious that suddenly.) TLDR Host should *try*, affected family should accept that short notice changes are not completely reasonable, *everyone* should bring whatever they want, why the heck not?
the neice could've had a sensitivity for a while, but never knew exactly what it was
Load More Replies...If your going host any event it's your responsibility to make sure everyone has options. It's just good hosting.
NTA... You can't fault OP when his sister left out the important detail that it was for medical reasons. I've known a half dozen people following gluten free diets and only one person was doing it for medical reasons. It's a fad just like the Adkins diet 20 yrs ago or the Keto craze from 5 yrs ago.
The personal development of this man is chef's kiss. He didn't realise it was a medical issue (and wasn't told? surely you'd clarify that it's a medical issue and it's very important she doesn't get served gluten right?) and when he found out he did his best to give them what she needed. Good on him
Or maybe it was mentioned a bit but he wasn't listening. I have always been surprised at how much of a conversation people just assumed the other one knew what they were talking about or just came up with their own interpretation. Example: I told an ex I understood his cat had died, but it had been 5 days, and he really needed a shower. He immediately said okay, I'll lose weight. I was like what? I told him his weight was fine as long as he was comfortable, and his response was heavier people get sweaty and smelly. I told him after about a week of no shower anyone would be smelly, and he went back to other things. It was like speaking to a wall. Obviously we didn't last long, but I really can't judge unless I know the whole thing. Maybe everyone just needs to sit down and hash it all out.
Load More Replies...I'm glad he listened. My little brother has celiac disease and the last time he accidentally ate gluten (it was supposedly a gluten free restaurant, advertised itself as such, but evidently not), he was so ill that he could barely keep down water. Celiac is not something to play around with.
A little bit of YTA. The niece had a history of fd diets, the sister had a history of competing with his wife, he jumped to a conclusion. The sister could have called and said the niece was recently diagnosed with the disorder and had dietary restrictions, could they be accommodated. It looks like it all worked out, but some people were very harsh.
My sister and I both work with food and we just had a conversation about allergies last night. We both agreed that if you are ordering/getting food for yourself and have an allergy or for someone you know has an allergy, it's your responsibility to be smart about it and make that s**t known. She had told me a story about a couple that came in to the other place she works at where person 1 got halfway through her order before mentioning she can't have gluten and only because person 2 mentioned it at the beginning of his order. Then she proceeded to be rude about finding options that didn't have gluten. Meanwhile, we had a pleasant interaction at the place we both work at where a woman was allergic to nuts so we grabbed a fresh bag of friend garlic so that there was no chance of cross contamination. Let people know as soon as you're able to so people can accommodate. Don't just say, "can't have" say that you are allergic.
If someone is hosting a dinner and someone decides they have a restricted diet at the very last minute they should supply their own food that they can eat. It's inappropriate for his sister to expect him to last minute accomodate her. Why couldn't she accommodate her own daughter? It was a douche thing to say she could eat whatever everyone else eats and he should have just offered that his sister or his niece bring her own dishes. I hosted Thanksgiving for 17 yesterday and there was no way I could accommodate any last minute request and it would be really rude and inappropriate for anybody to ask. After dishing out tons of money for the entire meal I shouldn't have to dish out more to accommodate special dietary needs last minute, it's just rude.
"Why couldn't she accommodate her own daughter?" Did you miss the part where she VERY CLEARLY OFFERED TO? The sister asked if she could bring a special gf-free dish for her daughter to eat, and OP shot her down. Also the daughter didn't just "decide" to go on a restrictive diet, last minute, she had a legit medical condition, as the post clarified.
Load More Replies...It's wonderful that he listened to criticism and acted accordingly instead of disregarding it. Now his neice will be able to enjoy Thanksgiving without stomach problems. I love a happy ending
I could understand if he thought it was a fad diet or picky eater. But the mom offered to bring food.whicg usually indicates a medical issue. But I will say this people who follow the gluten free trend ( with no health issues towards it) are kinda easy to point out because they don't know gluten is. I got asked by many people if raw unseasoned chicken was gluten free. When I asked what gluten was they thought it was a fat bi product. It's grains. Other than the stuffing, and pies he can still make a lot safe dishes. Like grilled corn on the cob, unbreaded casseroles, and meats.
??? Ive had plenty of people on fad diets bring their own foods to things... More importantly, mom could've just STARTED with saying that it's a medical thing rather than saying daughter won't eat gluten with no elaboration.
Load More Replies...Not the AH and never was. It’s obvious this sister is always trying to one up the wife so he was being protective of her, not to mention he states the niece is always changing her diet. Sister should have prefaced the “request” with “Daughter has just been diagnosed with a gluten sensitivity or celiac or whatever is her issue, and can’t eat wheat products and anything containing gluten. Is there anything on the menu that she can eat? If not, I’ll be happy to bring gluten free xyz so as not to put you out”. Instead she chose to just put it out there as a if it was another dietary experiment. Sister is the AH.
just don't host if it is such a problem everyone can do their own meal in their own home, I never understood this whole forced get together thing when people clearly have an issue with each other
I'm glad this one has a happy resolve. I've seen people start diets because they want to be different or special in their social circle, be it friends or family, and then drop it when it gets too hard to keep up with. I've also seen legit medical problems randomly rear their ugly heads later in life, me being a victim of that exact situation. Hope he keeps it in mind to ask clarifying questions before coming to a conclusion in the future.
Eh, with the daughter having done fad diets before the mom shouldve had the basic forethought to tell people about the medical issue first, rather than waiting for others to ask about it...
Load More Replies...I'm diabetic. There's no scenario where I would expect someone to accommodate my dietary issues during a traditional holiday gathering. It's my problem, not everyone else's. If I need accommodating, I handle it myself. Otherwise, I'll be avoiding most of the spread. It's not the host's responsibility unless it was their idea from the get-go.
Just eat turkey and vegetables. Dont take potatoes and dessert when it goes by. Problem solved.
sadly, sometimes it's not just problem solved. Gluten and wheat is in a weird variety of things, like soy sauce. I wouldn't feel comfortable eating things from someone else without labels, especially since she went gluten free for medical reasons
Load More Replies...He's definitely the a-hole. Shouldn't be a problem for her to bring her own meal. Making a big deal over something like this is kinda bizarre.
I'm highly allergic to bell peppers and my oldest sister doesn't care. Told her over and over but she thinks a little won't hurt. It only takes a sliver to set my allergy off.
that's an assholeish sister, I'm so sorry. I hope she understands soon before things get too bad
Load More Replies...My question is why didn’t his sister plan the diet ahead of what he was cooking way before what he planned on cooking so it gives him a heads up??
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons, could've found out at a bad time
Load More Replies...There’s nowhere in the store does she said her daughter has an allergy to gluten so it was something she chose to do. He is not an AH
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons
Load More Replies...I get where this guy started. Come to find out, I'm allergic to the bleaching process, and when I was gluten free (and kind of helping) a lot of people were going gluten free eating gluten free cookies and stuff because "they're healthier" when in fact are worse for you because all the chemicals (and would also make me sick). Gluten free was a HUGE trend and with her history, I'd say NTA, the mom or daughter(21 years old, should have a voice) should have advised and not waited for HIM to re-engage. Amazing guy for actually taking people's on the internet advise, but shame on the mom and daughter for not actually talking about it and having the internet explain to the guy instead of family
Several years ago, we went to visit my in-laws(sis and now exbro) at their new cottage. At this point I had been part of the family for a decade, married almost as long. They knew I was allergic to fish/shellfish/seafood, so... they start up the BBQ for burgers and start making a salad... bro in-law adds calamari to the BBQ with the burgers and then adds ceasar dressing to the salad. He then got nasty with me when I ended up not eating the meal he cooked. Thankfully he's no longer married to my hubby's sister, who I adore. She didn't know until too late for that meal what he had done till too late.
i might get downvoted but NTA. just beacuse he states that she randomly starts and stops diets because shes bored so it isnt any medical related things she isnt going to die if she eats gluten.
wait no sorry i misunderstood YTA i feels foolish now because it is a medical condition just read it as the opposite of everything i typed
Load More Replies...My grandmother, born 1902 south central Italy desperately poor family developed a mild gluten intolerance in later life. She could no longer eat pasta, I kid you not. She was not fussy at all about anything (see: desperately poor). Food sensitivities are not just fads.
NTA. You don't get to go gluten free because it's cool. It can legitimately kill and it's miserable to have to live on the diet
The update states that it was a medical issue and not a fad diet.
Load More Replies...NTA... Gluten free: Turkey, Potatoes, Green Beans, and pie without the crust. Avoiding bread and pasta is easy as pie. Here my question, and why I think the OP isn't TAH; how much heads notice did they have? Show up at my place last minute making demands, you'll be SOL.
I was staying for dinner with my bff and his husband. My bff hadn't arrived yet. His husband is a wonderful cook. But I don't eat most vegetables and didn't want to waste any food. So I let him know. Come to find out a few days later his husband told him I didn't like anything he cooked and wasn't invited to join them for dinner. I cried to think he felt like that. Later my bff said he did remind him that people do have food issues. Nother friend said I should have just thrown what hadn't eaten in the trash. I felt dam*ed if I do and dam*ed if I don't. And no even if he offers me to join them for dinner my answer will be no. Not out of retaliation but save any misunderstandings.
Glad to see that you communicated and found out what your nieces problem was. And it sounds like you fixed things in your family beautifully. So while you started out sounding like the AH, you have graduated to an adult who learned something and is doing the right thing. Congratulations.
I'm old school and have live about 7 decades. I'm sorry, I'm w OP.. especially if there's a competitive lady who wants center stage. IF the gluten free is a problem surely there are things still served up and can eat w/o being martyr bringing her own little dish. I can picture this dewy eyed poor Ole me girl who has now divided the family. Why not just bring some side dishes both she and others can sample too instead of being a drama momma ( girls mom not young lady).
Many people are saying that he was the a-hole but he really wasn't. His house, his rules. Just because they offered to bring food doesn't change anything. He was preparing a meal and he made that clear from the beginning. He had no idea that it was medical and the mother should have led with that. It's not his responsibility to research anybody's medical history. All they had to do was let him know that it was medical and he would've adjusted the menu. There's a lot of things that I don't eat for medical reasons and I don't expect people to adjust menus for me. If I do want them to adjust a menu for me I let them know early and I tell them why. Even then, I don't expect them to make changes but I appreciate if they do.
And like the sister said let someone else host. He is an a** for not allowing someone to bring an accommodating dish. And simply not being accommodating. The rest of the family was also in agreement. His house, his rules goes out the door when others are prepare to takeover and properly host.
Load More Replies...At least he realized he was being the AH and owned up to it. I hope they had a good Thanksgiving dinner!
Sorry, I'd have done the same bc I buy all my foodstuff slowly in the couple months previous. Also have a pretty rough nerve pain condition and a trip to Walmart, even small ones, can really screw with it. But even without it, yeah you don't tell people hosting you for food about dietary changes the *day* before, ESPECIALLY with a meal many begin cooking the day/night before. However, Idgaf if ppl bring their own food. THAT'S the only assholithic part.
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons, which they could've found out at any time. I agree he should've let the niece bring her own dish either way though
Load More Replies...I'm not gonna comment on his post , I'm only gonna ask why the f**k do you people post your conversations on the internet and then seek validation/invalidation? Are your lives and decisions so insignificant to you that you need the opinion of the most unimportant community on this planet? Make a decision then follow through or reevaluate and proceed by your self, want help with something the ask a professional.
I have trouble making decisions for myself, especially about myself and situations. There's a lot of stories where a family is divided, and I think having anonymous opinions could help decide if I was justified or not.
Load More Replies...This family needs some healing. What should be a simple accommodation for someone you supposedly love and care about has turned into a drama fest. Why? OP alludes to some underlying tension with the sister. Time to get that sorted or disengage from the relationship.
Bria is 21, not really a kid any more. She can bring her own food and eat whatever is gluten free at her uncle's house. He shouldn't say anything about her bringing her own food, that's for sure. Bria can politely say that herself, not through her mother who has a history of competing with host's dishes.
Well, we are german, but enjoying thanksgiving dinners with our friends, because we love this tradition. We have at least one vegetarian and one strict non alcohol this is both a choice (gluten free more often then not isnt), but i go with it nontheless and made a vegan bean roast as a second main besides the turky and vegan gravy, i even enjoyed the challenge and it turned out so great i even make it for us now and then. So yes if i host sth i make sure everyone can enjoy it or i leave it be
Wow, I did not expect this. I was totally prepared to call the sister and her daughter AH. Nice to see someone seeing his errors
As soon as your diet requirement changes, it becomes your responsibility, your problem. It is your job to bring everything you can eat. As the host i will advise that it safe to conclude that my food is not nut and gluten-free. i will ensure however, that your plate and utensils will be sterile and your food will be kept separated, heated and served at the same time. I am on the hill with the Hosts.
As someone who has multiple family members that have Celiac, major Dairy intolerance (basically allergic), and one that is vegan, I understand that having to adjust meals can be frustrating, but it is worth it. I organized Thanksgiving this year, and if you are able to, I advise before holidays, figure out what you can buy well in advance, what you can prep and even make the day before, and what you NEED to make day of. Also outsource any meals you can lol. Just make sure that family member is reliable and is good at cooking.
First off, almost no one of European ancestry is allergic to gluten. It's basically statistically impossible that any significant population could have survived passing genes if they were allergic to gluten in Europe, considering it has been the primary source of caloric intake on that subcontinent for hundreds of years. But I digress. Your food preferences are your own problem and no one is required to accommodate you. If you are a 21 year old adult, don't expect anyone to take you seriously if you deploy your mommy to bend the entire family eat what you like this week. You're 21; sit down, stfu, bring a covered dish of something you *feel comfortable* eating. Why is this even a discussion? Why is this even relevant to anyone except the 21 year old adult with esoteric food preferences?
I have an allergy to anything in the broccoli family (broccoli, kale, cabbage, etc) but people don't believe me. I've had to be taken to the ER twice now for an epi shot. I can walk into a room and smell if there is broccoli or cauliflower, etc that has been cooked there. If in large enough quantity raw can set me off. My lips and tongue start to itch and swell and I get a rash. Not good. And I have friends and family who don't believe me and make jokes about it. One friend served me spinach dip made with cauliflower, and a cauliflower crusted pizza. 😡
Gluten free Thanksgiving meal: turkey, steamed green beans, mashed potatoes, corn-starch based gravy, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie filling in a custard dish, cranberry sauce. The only thing a gluten intolerant guest could not eat at my table would be the dressing casserole and rolls. If I were given notice, I would use corn-starch gravy, steam green beans for them (green bean cassarole for everyone else) and make pumpkin pie filling in custard cups. No big deal. No need for drama.
If you're going to be picky about someone else's food, being your own or stay home.
One day isn’t going to hurt that spoiled little brat diet it’s not like you eat Thanksgiving every day or Christmas every day he didn’t react impulsively to many other people who bitching one about the f*****g diet says, whining impulsively one day is not going to hurt your pissy little diet cry me a River a little girl
There is plenty of food that could be considered non gluten. A quick change of a few things and you are good to go, you dont even really have to change anything. My house had prime rob, ham, turkey, pork, cranberries, potatoes, cheese, salad, coleslaw, sweet potatoes, beef and turkey gravy, cornbread, and a few other things, none of which had gluten. Thanksgiving is pretty easy to accomodate.
hey, cornbread isn't normally gluten free unless specified on the package or homemade like that, along with gravy. Please be careful in saying these things and maybe letting gluten free family and friends eating these things, especially without checking. Either way thats a c**p ton of food! I hope y'all had a good time ❤️
Load More Replies...I feel that since this is due to medical reasons and NOT just a whim, that indeed...you were a jerk. It's not just that you didn't want to accommodate it's that you wouldn't allow your sister to bring something that your niece could eat. From your comment about your sister and wife "competing" and the subsequent remark your wife made to have someone else host...it appears you are well matched. You are both jerks.
NTA most gluten free people are just entitled pricks just like the vegans
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons. I wouldn't call someone who's allergic to wheat a prick, but thanks for another word for more people to call me!
Load More Replies...You are under no obligation to include a nut job to your guest list and she is under no obligation to attend. You are hosting a dinner not running a fashionable trendy restaurant.
hey idk if it was there when you read it, or if you skipped over it, but the update does say it's for medical reasons.
Load More Replies...Yes, you are an *hole. If one has special dietary restrictions, one cannot always expect others to accommodate them. (In certain situations, though, it cannot really be avoided: If you invite Muslim or Jewish guests for dinner, you cannot feed them pork.) The girl's mother offered to bring special food for her daughter so you would not be inconvenienced. Though you framed it as such, this had nothing to do with upstaging your wife's cooking. Rejection of her offer reveals your silly pettiness and close-mindedness--surprise! not everybody thinks or eats like you. Worse, it drives a wedge in family harmony on an important holiday. Grow up.
I'm no master chef, but preparing gluten-free baked goods can't be hard. You choose gluten-free flour. If buying store-bought baked goods, you look for gluten-free on the label. Sauces, gravies and condiments? Check the ingredient label for wheat, barley, and rye.
I think gluten free baking is a lot more complicated, but with premade sauces and things I think that's pretty much it haha
Load More Replies...Oh, FFS - bring your own food or stay the f*ck home. No host is required to accommodate everyone's food preferences. One's gluten intolerant, one's vegan, one has nut allergies, etc. JUST. STAY. HOME.
Did you read the whole thing? Because OP was annoyed that they OFFERED TO BRING THEIR OWN FOOD. It doesn't matter tho, bc they worked it out
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