Women's fight for equal rights has achieved great success, but it's still far from over. Globally, women still have only 3/4 of the rights that men have. And while some countries are focusing on implementing new reforms, others seem to be set on reducing women's bodily autonomy. One thing is clear: being born a woman puts you at a disadvantage.
While some women experience it less than others, it's still a devastating reality. And clueless or ignorant men don't help. One Reddit user wanted to learn what women wish men would stop doing, and people were eager to share advice on how men can be better.
Almost 5k replies later, Bored Panda selected the best answers on men's behavior that bothers women the most. From enormous egos to bad communication, scroll down to upvote the answers that resonate with you the most, and feel free to share any advice that we missed!
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Making choices about women’s rights and women’s bodies when they have no f*****g clue what we as women go through and experience.
EXACTLY! Most men making these laws don't even understand how taxing and DANGEROUS a "normal" pregnancy is, let alone all the innumerable restrictions and potential complications that come with it. But sure, women are just lazy, selfish strumpets.
Those men aren't interested in understanding anything, especially women. It's all about power over women, like any other personal possession (chattel).
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Yes, they have no f*****ng idea what periods are like, what childbirth is like and even abortions are like. Stop making women's choices for them. It's their body.
I upvoted all of you. I would like to propose,the creation of a law, that requires when a woman goes into labor, the father will repeatedly get kicked in the balls until the baby is born. This way, the father will be more involved in the labor process, and won't feel excluded. In addition,the repeated kicks causes a "very mild , slightly uncomfortable pressure" , which in turn produces a chemical reaction, and bonds the father and child in a closer way. The child benefits from this bond. It's important to the child's future.
According to the Huichol ancient traditions, both men and women would experience the pain of childbirth. This is how it would be done, the father would position himself on the rafters with rope tied around his s*****m while the mother would pull on it while giving birth.
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I guess this refers to US Republican lawmakers. Yet millions of Republican women will still vote for them. Go figure!
We are 14 times more likely to die from pregnancy and childbirth than we are from abortion. You don't have the right to DEMAND I risk my life for someone else. Only I can make that choice. End of discussion.
Not just this; all too many men think things like bodily autonomy is debatable. I've had them reply to comments with "please don't insult me," "please don't be rude," "the fact you can't refrain fron insulting me proves you can't see another's pov." Human rights are not debatable. I don't care if they think it "looks bad" for me to lose my temper or insult them. I don't believe for one second they would react calmly if someone told them they needed to report to the nearest hospital for a state-mandated gelding. They have no right to tell me to not get angry about the fact the government would sooner let me die of sepsis than get an abortion.
Sad part I'm 70yrs old and this bs has been going on since I started dating !
Even if men had a complete and perfect understanding of what women go through and experience, it would not give men any right to make women's decisions for them.
Men gotta keep their family lines going no matter what. Want to get your tubes tied- "You might want a son (or kid) someday". I placed my daughter for adoption because I knew damn well I was in no way ready to be a parent. I still get stupid looks. I am content with what I did and I did the right thing. Just my opinion.
Okay, if this is the majority female perspective, how late in pregnancy should abortion be legal? All the way? Every country has a limit because the fetus is eventually seen as a living human being. What should the limit be, or should there not be one?
There should be no limit, unless you're willing to kill a woman. Pregnancy is life threatening until and including labor and delivery.
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No lie I saw a post where a guy claimed men did all the hard work when a woman gives birth because...wait for it...she had a bed and an epidural and he was "forced" to sleep on the floor. She just forced a human being out of an opening that should really be bigger than nature made it, but HE was the one suffering.
Hummm. I think the men making these laws know exactly what they mean, they just don't care.
Then these women should move the hell out of the way. Elf they rather get slapped in the face to make them move. These are self entitled feminist. The same women who I see at home Depot or at Lowe's and fall and drop a heavy item they are trying to put in a truck. I walk by and laugh.
You're not describing trans women. You're describing cross dressing.
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If you were paying attention you'd know that pro-life men demand abortions for their mistresses and pro-life women get abortions all the time. Pro-life women also demand their daughters get abortions all the time as well, and have the audacity to demand they get escorted through the back door so they don't have to be harassed and abused by the crazy mob at the front door. You should learn how to use quotation marks. Restrict is the correct term and your control freak tendencies do not broaden anyone's lives.
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How do you know the poster doesn't do things about it, sparky? Do you always assume things or is that just reserved for women? The real question is what are you doing about it?
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This 💯 reads as something written by a man cosplaying online as a woman.
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If a woman tells you she's a lesbian when you're flirting, it means one of two things:
- 1: She is a lesbian.
- 2: She is pretending to be a lesbian so you'll stop flirting with her.
Either way, you should stop flirting.
And 3. NO she's NOT interested in your dinky winky. Or the phrase "you haven't found the right man yet, you haven't got a good D yet etc". They don't want your dinky at all.
Please stop sending d**k pics to random women online. It's just straight up creepy and gross. If a woman wants to see your d**k, she'll ask for a picture.
When you need to get past me, please don't put your hands on my waist/hips/lower back to move me aside. I don't know you. Stop touching me.
WTF. Return the favor by by placing your knee on their groin to move them back where they belong.
Please stop treating us like appliances. We aren’t your cheap labor, your free therapist, your perfect breeding animal, your expert chef and your twenty four seven child care. We are not replaceable or inferior or substitute for a punching bag.
We are people. And you can stop excusing your behavior as traditional or biological or anatomical. You do know better.
One reason many women liked wearing masks was that they could mind their own business for once in public without getting scanned for their facial expressions.
Stop putting more effort into shouting " Not all men" then you do in making sure your friends aren't being creeps.
A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn't touch a man that way to get past them, don't touch a woman that way.
If I HAVE to touch someone, its a gentle touch on the shoulder.
Dismissing our safety concerns and trying to gaslight us out of taking basic precautions.
Leaving pee on the toilet seat or floor and not wiping it up
Following women when they’re walking. I’ve been followed by cars, followed by men yelling at me, had dead silent men follow me to work and then stand outside, follow my friends to a bar we’re walking to, etc. It isn’t all men, sure. But most women have been followed. I don’t know why they do it, to feel powerful I guess? To instill fear that they know where I work or what bus I take?
Edit: every dude in my replies arguing about how they sometimes are behind a woman and what are they supposed to do, just know that if you’re not being creepy it isn’t an issue. That’s not what I’m talking about. In this context followed vs walked behind are 2 VERY different things. If you’re simply walking behind a woman who appears freaked out it’s probably because she has been antagonistically followed or verbally or even physically harassed/threatened/harmed. As long as you aren’t being creepy, you’re good.
If you’re worried that you appear like you’re following her, my advice would be to call someone and chat (like a couple people recommended in my replies), this makes it so it’s obvious she isn’t a target of yours or even on your mind, you’re busy going about your life. OR either slow down or speed up and pass her. Don’t match her pace so that she sees you keeping stride in the corner of her eye, that’s so scary. And lastly, have some sympathy. Women don’t act afraid with the intention of insulting you, they act afraid out of protection of themselves.
THIS. Like, don't stand outside my store for an hour while I close, follow me a block to the bus stop, get on and sit two seats behind me, then when the bus goes up Cahuenga and it's dark and deserted for a couple miles, suddenly sit right behind me, lean forward, and whisper, "so, you got a boyfriend?"
Please. God.
Some men don't wash their a**es when they shower. Because it feels "gay"
Stop worrying so much about being a macho manly man. Being secure in your manhood is way hotter.
Go wash your a*s.
Not calling out other "bros" for misogynistic behavior.
Outright misogyny is often done amongst other men who are fine with it unfortunately.
Thinking their wives are live-in maids. It’s not your wife’s responsibility to replace your crusty socks, underwear, or make you a doctor’s appointment unless you’re actually ill or otherwise impaired.
Like, does my partner have to deal with my menstrual cup? N o. Never.
My lovely husband has no household skills. Cleaning was obviously a foreign concept when I moved in. But if I'm cleaning, he tries to find something to clean too. He tries. He seems like a typical guys guy. I'm always surprised at how he's willing to learn and improve. Edit: please excuse my bragging, I waited until 46 to marry. It took time to find him.
I wish men would stop needing to be told to do something around the house. They have eyes, most of them can clearly see that the trash is overflowing or that they left their dishes out. Pick up after yourself. Learn how to feed yourself and dress yourself. Stop waiting on your SO to be your mommy. Being a man is not an excuse for you to not be able to take care of yourself like a grown up.
Don't just divide the labor, share the mental burden/managerial aspect as well!
Playing the "what about men" game when someone is talking about a women's specific issue. If you care about a men's issue that's amazing! I love it, I'm here for it. Don't hijack a conversation about women to talk about it. Start a different thread, cause, conversation, etc.
catcalling. what's the purpose? i don't want to have sex with you just because you screamed "nice tits" at me from your car
"If you like breasts that much, you should grow yourself a pair" seems a good response to that one.
Sexualising teenage girls
Sexualizing ANY person below age of consent is pretty gross, but the fact that it happens so disproportionately to girls is disgusting beyond measure...
blaming women because they don't want to sleep with you
ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy? Why would any woman want to be around someone who thinks like that?
If a women says she doesn’t want children, don’t respond by saying she doesn’t know better. Idk where you guys get off of telling a grown woman that she doesn’t know what she wants, but it needs to stop. If she dosent want children, respect her decision.
Engaging in toxic masculinity. Fellas, you're beautiful people worthy of support, kindness, and love. It's healthy to have emotions. ALL emotions. To feel scared, sad, insecure, etc. Support one another. This goes for all genders. Life is hard. Let's be excellent to one another.
Unsolicited advice. Don't tell me to smile, I'm not here for your amusement. Don't tell me I'd look nicer if I let my hair down, it's up for a reason. Don't approach me with some comment about my appearance, I promise I'll make you feel 2 cm tall when I'm done with you. I don't want your comments about me, I'm perfectly happy with myself.
Weaponized incompetence.
I think of this more like abusive incompetence. "oh... but... I dunno if you still wanted to use that toilet roll... so.. uhh... I didn't change it. Yeah... I just carry my own toilet paper with me to the bathroom? Is that wrong?" - guess what... I know you're not actually that stupid - and you're just being a selfish petty jackhole...
Just because a woman is not smiling, it is not your job to change that.
this! being commanded by a stranger to smile for his pleasure ! really? how do you know i am not grieving, orr was assaulted and this is my first trip out since?! why is it a thing? out *in public* is not mens fantasyland guys!!!!!
1. The disgusting s**t that’s said about women in the boys’ group chat
2. Exchanging pictures (screenshots or non consensual nudes) of women you aim to “conquer” in the group chats
3. The entire culture of “south east Asia trip with the boys where we talk about and treat chicks like walking vaginas and egg each other on to cheat on our missus”
4. Laughing at the one mate who’s a f*****g pig rather than calling them out
5. Stop getting defensive when you’re called out for speaking or behaving in a way that’s hurtful or upsetting — no one is telling you that you can’t be angry or upset, but you do need to actually learn how to express your emotions in a respectful and clear manner, especially your anger
Stop believing that men are superior than women.
There will always be some things a man can do better than a woman and some things a woman can do better than a man. The rest of 'things' both can do equally as well. So really, it all balances out that men and women are basically equal.
It’s wild to me how movies and TV shows treat a woman saying 'no' like it means, 'You haven’t put enough effort in. Keep trying.'
Please do not try to flirt with us when we’re sitting in a coffee shop reading a book with headphones on. This has happened to me and other friends multiple times over the years. The headphones are to keep you away.
Stop assuming my emotions are irrational or illogical. Start valuing communication, empathy, and understanding in our interactions.
Continuing to do a thing a person has asked you to stop doing as a joke.
Like there's this thing that dudes often seem to think is cute and funny, where like, in a movie, the funloving man and the stick-in-the-mud lawyer lady are taking a painting class, and it's his solemn duty to teach her to *loosen up and live a little.* So he dabs a bit of paint on her nose, and she goes "OMG STAHP" and he does it again and now they're rolling around covered in paint making out while romantic music plays.
But in real life, he is drunk, has sat on her chair and broken it, and instead of apologizing is now laughing and leaping around her kitchen swinging a chair leg over his head, hooting and hollering while she powerlessly begs him to stop before he breaks any more of her belongings.
I don't think men realize how terrifying it is when you're a woman asking a man to stop something and he doesn't. Even a harmless joke. It makes you realize, holy s**t, I can not shout loud enough for him to hear how serious I am, I can not physically stop him from doing whatever he wants to do to me, he can do whatever he wants and there is nothing I could do short of causing grievous bodily harm to stop him.
Always. Every single time. If someone asks you to stop something, even if they're laughing, stop immediately, even if you just stop long enough to explain why it's important to you to keep doing it. Always stop immediately.
Ladies, the best thing I ever did was take martial arts classes. I did Krav Maga a few years. Its the hand to hand combat of the Israeli army and it is brutal. And I've done boxing for a decade and continue. In addition to skills you learn, the confidence that you can take care of yourself is immeasurable. Bleeds into every aspect of your life. Highly recommend.
Thinking that being a woman is a reason for her mistakes.
I was one of the only three girls in engineering course (60 people). And if I did a mistake at class it was because I was a girl. But if my male course mate made a mistake, it is only because humans are not perfect, and next time he will do better 👍🏼
Making laws that restrict me
No is a complete sentence.
Sorry, I bored at work, so this was a bit short. What I meant is, if you are in a relationship with a guy, no would be a short, perhaps cold answer, but I don't think that's what OP meant.
I meant it as, if a guy bothers you for any reason, like he wants your phone number or any socials you don't want to give him, you don't need to provide a reason, because a simple no should be enough. Unfortunately, a lot of men (yes I know, not all) won't take just a no for an answer an *must* know the reason, because whatever.
So, to answer the original question: I wish some guys would just accept a simple no and would stop asking again and again and again for something that has already been answered with a no.
Acting like anger isn't an emotion and saying women are more emotional than men.
In my experience men are much more emotional, especially younger men. And that's fine, but don't pretend that your unreasonable drama is logical and the women that's dumbfounded by what you're doing is the one in the wrong. Emotions include anger, frustration, confusion- emotions are just being sad or crying and all the other "girly" ones they're do desperate to avoid the stigma of
Touching me without consent.
YES! I was a cashier at a...red and white store, and happened to get a case of hiccups. A random (of course male) customer came up behind me while I was checking some out (his wife was next in line), grabbed me from behind and screamed. His only response when his wife (justifiable) went ballistic on him was "but she's not hiccupping anymore, see). Yes, bc unknown to HIM, I had been violently SAed less than 6 months earlier, by a man who grabbed me from behind. They ended up calling emts bc I couldn't stop the panic attack.
Communicating to us through our husbands/ boyfriends/ fathers etc.
I was doing 3D modelling work for a guy in Italy a few years back and when he needed something done he’d tell my husband what he wanted done and tell my husband to tell me.
It was so frustrating and belittling. My husband was working on something else for him that had nothing to do with my project. Yet every damn time he wanted something done he’d tell my husband, not me.
Ever since then I’ve refused to work on the same project my husband is working on.
This attitude is infuriating! Especially when you run into it working at a call center. So you want me to transfer you to a "male colleague" before I've even finished asking for your name because...? Oh, because you're a sexist pig. Got it, lemme get you on over to one right away.
Thinking you have some kind of power over us.
Like we have to speak to you, we have to reply to you, we have to do what you say…
No, we don’t.
That is often a culture or religious thing. I call it downright rude.
Don’t put others down to raise me up. Had an ex gf who actually did this, saying how I’m “smarter than most girls” or “really good at this for a chick” or even berating a waitress and saying “you would never dress like that for attention”. You can compliment me without putting others down! I don’t say “you’re nice for a boy” so don’t say I’m something or other for a girl!
If you act like the only way to make someone feel better is by intentionally making others feel worse, you're not going to be a good partner.
Your friends with vaginas are *just as fully human* as your friends with d***s. They're not pets, or Playstations, or weird robot dolls you have to feed scripts to so they'll f**k you, or drop on the side of the road if they don't.
They don't derive their social status from whichever friend of yours they're dating, and they don't exist on this earth specifically to entertain your friends' girlfriends. Sometimes they don't even *like* your friends' girlfriends. On account of they are people, not some kind of...hivemind that happily drones in the background while you and your male friends do Important Man Social Things For Men Only.
In other words... a woman is a person in her own right, not just "arm candy."
Calling yourself an “alpha” or “sigma” male.
You aren’t necessarily hurting anyone by doing it, but no one takes you seriously when you talk like that.
Edit so people can stop asking: I could be wrong, but I think people who call themselves sigma consider themselves “lone wolf” types. IMO, I think they’re trying to come across as one step less douchey by not believing they exist to boss people around, but it is clearly ineffective.
Also the study that did the whole alpha/beta stuff with wolves was actually retracted, the guy who made it admitted that it was badly done and not accurate.
acting like the Big Man of the Family, the provider, while being so needy that they can't prepare a piece of toast or pot of coffee or pick out a a pair of clean underwear for themselves.
I'm so very grateful my husband is a fully functioning independent human being that is a real partner and friend - and a great daddy to our kids.
Being thirsty and assuming every woman on the net is looking for some...
Note: this post originally had 90 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
The latest annoyance is deliberately misgendering any woman who has even the slightest bit of "masculine" appearance. I mean really? Grow the F up. We don't owe you perfect femininity at all times.
This makes me sad that so many women have had to deal with so many awful dudes. As a guy, I don't see it (and the guys I know haven't displayed this sort of thing in front of me), but of course that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. This kind of stuff shouldn't still be happening so often, and I'll try to do my part to call out this sort of behavior if I do see it happening. I think perhaps the biggest reason it still goes on is because other guys enable it, or laugh it off, or just don't speak up about it.
You're right that it might not happen where you can see. At a Ren Faire in a mixed group the ladies didn't get any comments when we were together. However when we separated the comments poured in. What that shows to me is that they seek out the "unprotected" or "unclaimed". It also happens when the men are alone. They must recognize that the behavior is not acceptable or they wouldn't be regulated by such things.
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Stop turning everything into a joke about sex. Im sure your bros think its hilarious that everything they say you can turn onto a sexual innuendo or whatever but it makes me immediately want to stop talking to you
THANK YOU. all the men on here need to read this. including me as a trans guy. women are so mistreated and told what to do with their bodies!!! it's outrageous. they're not toys, they're HUMAN. any men that abuses a woman is anything but human. they're a fvcking pig. a woman MADE you. and she probably didn't even want to, considering how many women are r@ped and then can't have an abortion. respect the people who brought you into this world. men are fvcked.
Jeepers creepers..... Sounds like most these poor gals need better men.... Like yesterday
also to all the men commenting here: thank you. like seriously men advocating for women's rights is good. but also do us a favor and look out for your buddies and tell them to shut up whenever you see or hear them mistreating a woman. i'll do my part in that as well. feminism <3
I can‘t relate to many of these. But I hope life for women improves in those countries where these things are common. Sadly, some are going backwards. I hope that is not a trend we will see all over the world any time.
I can’t think of any other species where I regularly read of how the males are described as so highly contrasted from the females in offensive behavior.
There are many cases of sexual violence in the animal kingdom. Like male ducks gang raping female ducks, dolphins, bears, and other primates. There are also many species where the women are sexually violent like black widow spiders and praying mantis that kill the man after sex.
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My ex once asked me to cut his toenails. I looked at him like he lost his mind. I stared at him for a long moment, to let him realize what he just asked me to do. I didn't break eye contact. I said No. It appears to me that men want a woman to take care of them like mommy did but also get to f ck her.
Well your an idiot, because that's a complete different situation then willingly hanving sex. Anything to do.with some one being forced should definitely have the option of having an abortion because it was out of there own free will. But if you willingly had sex and, oops your pregnant. That's a risk you knew was there and now it's your time to grow up
Men need to stop saying they are "letting women" do something women are trying to do as if men control all situations so they are being good guys by letting us vote, letting us have a say in how we control our own bodies, letting us have jobs that we can do, etc. It is demeaning and embarrassing to hear.
https://open.spotify.com/track/2VfOmL3LvhyktG2cDtu1Cs?si=hM0kRMJqSEeEwyr9_cLAKg
Again an entire demographic is judged by the bad actions of its worst members.
That happens to women of all demographics all the time, as proven by many of the posts above. Sickening, isn't it?
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"Just shut up and let us treat you like shît."
Load More Replies... The latest annoyance is deliberately misgendering any woman who has even the slightest bit of "masculine" appearance. I mean really? Grow the F up. We don't owe you perfect femininity at all times.
This makes me sad that so many women have had to deal with so many awful dudes. As a guy, I don't see it (and the guys I know haven't displayed this sort of thing in front of me), but of course that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. This kind of stuff shouldn't still be happening so often, and I'll try to do my part to call out this sort of behavior if I do see it happening. I think perhaps the biggest reason it still goes on is because other guys enable it, or laugh it off, or just don't speak up about it.
You're right that it might not happen where you can see. At a Ren Faire in a mixed group the ladies didn't get any comments when we were together. However when we separated the comments poured in. What that shows to me is that they seek out the "unprotected" or "unclaimed". It also happens when the men are alone. They must recognize that the behavior is not acceptable or they wouldn't be regulated by such things.
Load More Replies... Stop turning everything into a joke about sex. Im sure your bros think its hilarious that everything they say you can turn onto a sexual innuendo or whatever but it makes me immediately want to stop talking to you
THANK YOU. all the men on here need to read this. including me as a trans guy. women are so mistreated and told what to do with their bodies!!! it's outrageous. they're not toys, they're HUMAN. any men that abuses a woman is anything but human. they're a fvcking pig. a woman MADE you. and she probably didn't even want to, considering how many women are r@ped and then can't have an abortion. respect the people who brought you into this world. men are fvcked.
Jeepers creepers..... Sounds like most these poor gals need better men.... Like yesterday
also to all the men commenting here: thank you. like seriously men advocating for women's rights is good. but also do us a favor and look out for your buddies and tell them to shut up whenever you see or hear them mistreating a woman. i'll do my part in that as well. feminism <3
I can‘t relate to many of these. But I hope life for women improves in those countries where these things are common. Sadly, some are going backwards. I hope that is not a trend we will see all over the world any time.
I can’t think of any other species where I regularly read of how the males are described as so highly contrasted from the females in offensive behavior.
There are many cases of sexual violence in the animal kingdom. Like male ducks gang raping female ducks, dolphins, bears, and other primates. There are also many species where the women are sexually violent like black widow spiders and praying mantis that kill the man after sex.
Load More Replies... My ex once asked me to cut his toenails. I looked at him like he lost his mind. I stared at him for a long moment, to let him realize what he just asked me to do. I didn't break eye contact. I said No. It appears to me that men want a woman to take care of them like mommy did but also get to f ck her.
Well your an idiot, because that's a complete different situation then willingly hanving sex. Anything to do.with some one being forced should definitely have the option of having an abortion because it was out of there own free will. But if you willingly had sex and, oops your pregnant. That's a risk you knew was there and now it's your time to grow up
Men need to stop saying they are "letting women" do something women are trying to do as if men control all situations so they are being good guys by letting us vote, letting us have a say in how we control our own bodies, letting us have jobs that we can do, etc. It is demeaning and embarrassing to hear.
https://open.spotify.com/track/2VfOmL3LvhyktG2cDtu1Cs?si=hM0kRMJqSEeEwyr9_cLAKg
Again an entire demographic is judged by the bad actions of its worst members.
That happens to women of all demographics all the time, as proven by many of the posts above. Sickening, isn't it?
Load More Replies... "Just shut up and let us treat you like shît."
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