Skateboarding for hours on end after school, roaming around the mall with friends despite having no money to shop, working your first job at a coffee shop and feeling invincible through it all. Being a teenager was an incredibly special experience, but at the time, many of us were fixated on fantasizing about the future. When I grow up, I’ll be able to stay out as late as I want!
The realities of being an adult often hit us like a ton of bricks, though. Suddenly, bills seem endless, and you realize that groceries don’t magically appear in your fridge. To help prepare teens for “the real world,” Redditors have been sharing some of the most important things young people should understand. So below, you’ll find some hard truths and sage advice that your teenage self may have benefited from hearing, as well as a conversation with Daniel Friedman of Modern Teen.
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It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.
— Captain Jean-Luc Picard
You are better off being the naive idiot who’s always nice even to mean people than to be mean to nice people.
$1000 is a lot to owe but not a lot to have…
To learn more about what teens should learn before entering "the real world," we reached out to Daniel Friedman, the Founder of Modern Teen, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. When it comes to the top things Daniel thinks teens should understand before becoming adults, he shared, "Not everything is as black and white as it seems. Try to understand both sides of any situation and formulate your own opinion before choosing a side."
"Working on yourself only gets harder as you get older, so don't stop taking care of your mind and body," he continued. "Building good habits is one of the most important things you can do before you enter the real world as an adult, and getting rid of bad habits is equally as powerful."
During high-school learning how to learn is more important than anything you're actually learning.
Life never “settles down”. If something is important to you then you should get to it ASAP.
Don’t worry about not having the respect of people you don’t respect.
Daniel also shared some advice his teenage self could have benefited from hearing. "Talk to more people and work on your confidence. I closed myself off too much as a teen, and I could've been even more confident as a person today if I just opened up a little more to people," he told Bored Panda.
We were also curious about what the best parts of being a teen are and what they should be sure to take advantage of while they can. "As a teenager, you're still surrounded by the same people everyday - and that's a good thing because you have the chance to build some great connections with others, while being more mature than a young kid," Daniel noted. "But you have to learn to not rely on your phone and social media all the time because real life will become less interesting the more you use it."
Friendships take maintenance.
Make sure you drop maintenance "how are you" messages every month to anyone you actually like. Takes minimal effort, can be copy/pasted, makes people think you care enough to bother.
You can work hard and do all the right things and it doesn't guarantee success.
You can be the kindest, best person for others, and they can still betray you.
But that doesn't mean you should not be kind and work hard.
You know how sometimes you think to yourself "when I'm an adult and have my own place I'll be able to do whatever I want"?
Make sure whatever you want includes doing the dishes
My dad never ran the AC in Florida. My goal on getting my first apartment was running the AC. I soon realized it was expensive. So my next goal was to earn enough money to be able to run the AC
I run my AC at 66f(about 19c for the rest of you) and it was the first thing I did when got my own place. I hate being hot or cold so I use my climate control how I want.
Load More Replies...I never wanted to do the dishes, so when I moved out to my own place, I bought a dishwasher. Does this count? :)
Still have to do them. Who is putting them in the dishwasher and back in the cupboard? Don't get mistaken that all machines do all the work. Plus they need maintenance, are expensive and break down at the most unfortunate moment.
Load More Replies...My parents finally bought a house with a dishwasher... as soon as I moved out to go to college. (True story.)
I know this quote can be taken literally or figuratively, I am disabled and stopped doing dishes when my dishwasher stopped cleaning them well. I use paper plates and plastic silverware. Yes it's not good for the environment, but I have a small carbon foot print otherwise.
I never got to the "I want to do dishes" thing, but I did get to the "I want to eat off CLEAN dishes" and "I want to live without bugs" desires
I say alot that i cant wait ro have my own house to keep clean because i live with some nasty people currently and its like trying to dry up a river with a wet towel. Im not that messy and am good st cleaning so i cannot wait to have a nice olace
Another thing my dad always told me: I could do anything I wanted when I was an adult. He left out of course, not only chores but financial responsibilities. (Waaaaaahhhh)
Finally, Daniel added, "Practice discipline and focus on your independence as early as possible. The earlier you can do that, the easier the transition into adulthood will be. Best of luck!"
If you're a teen who'd like to hear more words of wisdom, or you have a teen who might appreciate the insight on Daniel's site, be sure to visit Modern Teen right here!
PEOPLE LIE. Just because they're an adult doesn't mean they always tell the truth.
This is something all kids have to realize at some point and for some it can be quite a rude awakening
Document everything with your landlord. Keep texts, receipts, no oral agreements, and follow everything to the tenancy laws.
And photos, take and keep photos from day1 of the tenancy else you'll get blamed for damage that was already there.
You are the main character in your story but You are not even an afterthought to 7 billion people.
Edit: 8 billion people, damn!
...and some of you (us) will feel more like a background character in our own story.
For better or for worse, confidence opens as many doors as competence.
If you dont plan your own b-day parties you wont have b-day parties. Friends planing something for you are super rare. Its not like on tv. You have to make an effort to have a social life.
You ll have to work to have a good life and you ll be tired like you never have been before. It will make having fun and going out harder.
Enjoy being a teenager as long as you can. But dont try to fight becoming an adult, because it will just get harder and harder.
There is a huge chance the people you call your closest friends now, wont be in your life in the upcoming years.
Fake friends are like shadows. They are present in your brightest times but they disappear in your darkest.
No one owes you s**t. Realizing this is what pushed me into being successful after being a jerkoff student all through school.
Again, I've seen this way less in teenagers and way *more* in older people
Nobody really knows what they’re doing
Get a good mattress, the best for as much as you can afford.
Brush your teeth.
SAVE MONEY
Exercise, eat well. (Don't deny yourself eating c**p) just do it proportionally.
Make your bed every morning.
People are a******s. (You find out the ones that aren't, keep them close)
Don't try and please everyone.
Don't take anything to heart, even from loved ones, you're your own person. Know what to believe and appreciate.
Don't get cheap toilet paper
Don't get cheap washing up liquid
Learn how to change wheels on a car, bike etc.
Learn how to replace car bulbs, basic checks, how to use jump leads.
Learn to sew, to mend clothing.
SAVE MONEY
don't get the 'best' of everything, get what you can afford without getting yourself into debt.
Learn to cook.
Learn to relax
Learn to clean
Look after your body.
Drink water.
SAVE MONEY.
Save money IF YOU ARE ABLE. Telling someone living paycheck to paycheck to save money is condescending at best.
Having a goal and a plan in life doesn't automatically mean it's going to work out, especially if you don't come from money. It's okay to fail. This world is kinda f****d up, and it's not always your fault.
I dont plan at all. I find that just accepting every reasonable opportunity offer is the best way. Especially if there is no buy-in cost. If there is a buy-in cost then do not take the opportunity, it is a scam or MLM.
Your job sees you as replaceable. Look out for yourself and your family. Your job is not everything but it will feel like it is, make sure that if you don't like where you are that you change it. Don't be miserable at a job because it pays well
Society owes you nothing, and the universe is indifferent.
“Who do you think you are? You're insignificant. A small piece, an ism. No more, no less” - Tricky
The ones that’ll hurt you most are those closest to you.
Oh yeah. My middle school boyfriend was my closest friend for years before we dated and when things didn't work out it hurt me more than anything
1. You would be amazed at the things each person on this earth has had to overcome. Everyone has a story, everyone here has battled, and everyone is a victim of something or someone. Be proud of your survival and celebrate your birthdays.
2. We are complex creatures. We are not defined by any one action but by the decisions we make day to day. Of course, extreme decisions will sway the tides. Point is, someone can be nice and charming and wonderful and a hero, and also an evil opportunist in the next moment. Never give someone total control of your safety and well being. Rely on you.
3. Your body is a pathetic soft fleshy blob of helplessness especially when you’re driving 80 mph in a glass and steel death trap buffered by protective paint on the road. You can die. Painfully. Many have found this out the hard way. Don’t text, or drink and drive. It only takes a second of stupidity to end it all.
4. The good moments make everything else worth it. That’s why
The World does not revolve around you.
I've encountered way fewer teenagers with this mindset than I have older people.
You are responsible for everything you do , and you will be held accountable. Enjoy your youth til 16 , because after that the kid gloves come off
I was this was true for sooooooo many politicians and the rich & powerful
No life plan survives contact with the real world.
We're all basically just winging it.
Note: this post originally had 72 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
And is bizarrely excluded from most health insurance! If you get benefits from your job, be sure to ask about dental coverage.
Load More Replies...When you’re a teenager, a lot of adults just assume you’re “up to no good” and I hate it. I was walking in front of stores after school, and this old couple just SHOVES us out of the way, mumbling about useless kids. Please, we’re trying our best, don’t be too hard on teenagers. I know I have to grow up and get over it, but I hate that I’m “too young” for everything, yet have to act like an adult everywhere.
This post made me realise how ill equipped I myself was in entering "adulthood", whatever the heck that actually means.
Be kind. Be determined. Find hope even if you think there can't be any. You'll be shocked to wake up at 50, realizing this actually got you through. But most of all, behave as if all society matters, if you want society to care about *you*.
People will judge themselves by their intentions, and others on their actions. Good luck navigating that.
Advice for teens, from someone who actually remembers what it's like to be a teen: don't sell yourself short and don't compare yourself to others. Everyone grows in their own right. Everyone has things they'll struggle with and things they'll seemingly have natural talent in. It's okay to not be as good as someone else. And it's okay to not know what your good at. Give yourself time, encouragement, and acceptance. You'll get there.
In my darker moments, I sometimes think that childhood is like a cruel cosmic joke. Like you go through this golden age where people care about and take care of you, just because you are *you*. And for a while, getting older means that you gain more freedom and agency. You grow as your world grows, and each day offers the promise of wonder and enchantment. Then you hit adolescence, and all of the sudden you really, deeply start to think about what other people think of you. Thoughts that never before occurred to you, like "my hair must be just so, or else I will literally die!", begin to take over. Older still, and "responsibility" starts to crowd out hopes and dreams and just having fun. You start to realize that all those things you thought adults "get" to do only come after you do the things you "have to". Older still, and, as Steve Martin put it in "Parenthood", you may realize that "my whole life is have to," and the only real escape from all the have-tos is death.
As a former severely depressed teen I longed for some advice and some input on what's to come. If I could travel back in time and give advice to myself I'd tell me that things kinda just get better by themselves. Time does heal. Just sit it out, there's nothing less important than your social circle in school times. Also: 1. Rather be alone than with people who don't value you. 2. Follow your interests, they'll automatically make you more interesting and there's always a niche of weirdos just like you out there. 3. Take chances and opportunities, get out of your comfort zone from time to time, you'll grow so much from that. 4. There's no such thing as being unpolitical. Not being interested just means you support the status quo. Take an interest in important matters and find out how you can help changing things for the better.
The Doctor (Dr Who): "Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis."
Of course the doctor has literally committed genocide so it is hilarious hearing him say this.
Load More Replies...You can cry as often as you like there is nothing wrong with crying.
Load More Replies...What I'd like to add is: you can't always do the things you enjoy doing. Sometimes s**t just needs to get done, regardless of whether you enjoy doing it or not. (referring to work related things).
Don't ask people to respect you. If someone respects you then they fear you. And if they fear you then you're a bad person.
You don't have to be blood related to an individual (or a group of individuals) to call that person/those people family.
I would also like to add that going to college right after high school is not the best choice for many people. Do you have a clear notion of what you want to study and why? Perhaps it is better to gain some life experience for a year first, so you can explore some different options. For some people it is better to go to Community College or Technical School instead. Four year colleges are really best for those who want to go on to pursue a professional degree of some kind, or to become teachers. If your ambition is to party and go to football games, then college is way too expensive for that kind of lifestyle.
And is bizarrely excluded from most health insurance! If you get benefits from your job, be sure to ask about dental coverage.
Load More Replies...When you’re a teenager, a lot of adults just assume you’re “up to no good” and I hate it. I was walking in front of stores after school, and this old couple just SHOVES us out of the way, mumbling about useless kids. Please, we’re trying our best, don’t be too hard on teenagers. I know I have to grow up and get over it, but I hate that I’m “too young” for everything, yet have to act like an adult everywhere.
This post made me realise how ill equipped I myself was in entering "adulthood", whatever the heck that actually means.
Be kind. Be determined. Find hope even if you think there can't be any. You'll be shocked to wake up at 50, realizing this actually got you through. But most of all, behave as if all society matters, if you want society to care about *you*.
People will judge themselves by their intentions, and others on their actions. Good luck navigating that.
Advice for teens, from someone who actually remembers what it's like to be a teen: don't sell yourself short and don't compare yourself to others. Everyone grows in their own right. Everyone has things they'll struggle with and things they'll seemingly have natural talent in. It's okay to not be as good as someone else. And it's okay to not know what your good at. Give yourself time, encouragement, and acceptance. You'll get there.
In my darker moments, I sometimes think that childhood is like a cruel cosmic joke. Like you go through this golden age where people care about and take care of you, just because you are *you*. And for a while, getting older means that you gain more freedom and agency. You grow as your world grows, and each day offers the promise of wonder and enchantment. Then you hit adolescence, and all of the sudden you really, deeply start to think about what other people think of you. Thoughts that never before occurred to you, like "my hair must be just so, or else I will literally die!", begin to take over. Older still, and "responsibility" starts to crowd out hopes and dreams and just having fun. You start to realize that all those things you thought adults "get" to do only come after you do the things you "have to". Older still, and, as Steve Martin put it in "Parenthood", you may realize that "my whole life is have to," and the only real escape from all the have-tos is death.
As a former severely depressed teen I longed for some advice and some input on what's to come. If I could travel back in time and give advice to myself I'd tell me that things kinda just get better by themselves. Time does heal. Just sit it out, there's nothing less important than your social circle in school times. Also: 1. Rather be alone than with people who don't value you. 2. Follow your interests, they'll automatically make you more interesting and there's always a niche of weirdos just like you out there. 3. Take chances and opportunities, get out of your comfort zone from time to time, you'll grow so much from that. 4. There's no such thing as being unpolitical. Not being interested just means you support the status quo. Take an interest in important matters and find out how you can help changing things for the better.
The Doctor (Dr Who): "Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis."
Of course the doctor has literally committed genocide so it is hilarious hearing him say this.
Load More Replies...You can cry as often as you like there is nothing wrong with crying.
Load More Replies...What I'd like to add is: you can't always do the things you enjoy doing. Sometimes s**t just needs to get done, regardless of whether you enjoy doing it or not. (referring to work related things).
Don't ask people to respect you. If someone respects you then they fear you. And if they fear you then you're a bad person.
You don't have to be blood related to an individual (or a group of individuals) to call that person/those people family.
I would also like to add that going to college right after high school is not the best choice for many people. Do you have a clear notion of what you want to study and why? Perhaps it is better to gain some life experience for a year first, so you can explore some different options. For some people it is better to go to Community College or Technical School instead. Four year colleges are really best for those who want to go on to pursue a professional degree of some kind, or to become teachers. If your ambition is to party and go to football games, then college is way too expensive for that kind of lifestyle.