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“People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong” And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community
We all are different, there's nothing new about that. However, we try to make connections with those similar to us. Whether it be hobbies, values, or general perception of life, we tend to stick with those that have matching approaches.
On the other hand, we often meet people whose behavior clashes with ours. Thinking about that, I asked our pandas to share their biggest deal-breakers. Scroll down for the answers!
This post may include affiliate links.
Religion. Fine for you. Don't try to sell or convert me. I'm an adult, educated, older. A lot of people use it to separate, to misinform, excuse or convert. No thanks.
Religion and politics are two topics I don’t want to ever discuss with other people. Bc more often than not, those that don’t agree with you on either topics will either try to change your mind and join them or get nasty and rude just bc you don’t agree with them.
Selfishness, rudeness and not liking animals. That's my top 3.
Note: You are off the hook if you don't like animals because of an allergy or a bad experience. The first two are non-negotiable.
I'm selfish and rude, but I love animals. I've been working on the selfish thing for years and don't generally act on it. But my rudeness is still used on people that are rude to me first, it pretty swift and cutting and used in a way to make them reflect on their own rudeness.
Deal breaker - they don't like my dog.
Bigger deal breaker - my dog doesn't like them.
Some people have a genuine fear of dogs (and other animals) due to bad experiences at early ages. It doesn't mean they're bad people though. A little understanding and compassion goes a long way.
People who are incapable of admitting they are wrong no matter how large or small.
A lot of dingbats come to mind: flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, COVID deniers, tRump chumps--
The inability to discuss or maturely debate. Most things people argue about and get angry over are subjective. You should be able to express your views and opinions without being shut down or criticized in a harsh, hateful manner.
To add on to that, people should just plain listen to one another, given the "speaker" is being respectful.
Yes! Thank you. sometimes I really need to get the what ifs or confusions out and it comes across as arguing. sigh. Sometimes I do get out of hand though in trying to make my point
1. Animal abuser
2. Not caring about other people's interests or life
3. They are racist, sexist, or ableist. Pretty much any kind of "ist".
4. Homophobes and transphobes also are no deal.
These types of people will never be my friends.
People who are unable to apologize or use the term "I apologize and am sorry".
The worst is when someone says, "I'm sorry if you feel....." If you said or did something wrong, apologize for your own actions. Don't apologize for how I feel.
Lying, especially incompetent bald-faced lying that would insult any person’s intelligence. My childhood was so full of self-righteous liars that it is a real trigger point for me.
aweome we'd be great cause I never lie (I can't find that pinnocio emoji . . .)
People who use excuses to justify their bad behavior. "But I'm like this because of XYZ, you understand, right?" No, no we don't.
THISSSS!!! I can't tell you how many times I hear people blame their shitty adult behavior on their childhoods. Mine was no picnic and I had to grow up and stop using that as an excuse to make poor decisions as an adult.
Personally: Trump lover, lying, smoking, bad hygiene.
Things that I'd love to see changed in the US: attitudes about climate change, severe problems with education, and government subsidies to huge corporations that don't freakin' need them.
We just need some little kid to go up and be like, "Oh Putin, you're so amazing, I look up to you!" Then take out a knife and slit his throat. He chokes and dies, falling down, and the little kid says, "And now I look down on you. Like I always have." At this point, I'm not even above blackmail, Putin needs to die.
Looking down on those less fortunate than you. Just because someone is struggling (doesn’t matter in what regard, physically, mentally, financially, etc.), we shouldn’t look down upon them. It doesn’t necessarily make them an intrinsically bad person. Be kind.
Double standards.
Without double standards, some people would have no standards at all
Rudeness, there is no need for it at any time, even if the other person is an a**, always be kind. Kindness winds them up even more, it's great.
Not respecting my time.
If you are constantly late, I don't want an apology. You obviously know that you take longer, so start sooner. Making me wait around for you will only make me feel like I'm not a priority, and I don't want to waste my time with that.
Dehumanizing anyone
Fr tho my brother thought it would be ok to dehumanize me for having autism he pisses me off
Not respecting my space, both physically and with my time. I'm someone who needs a lot of time to myself, to relax and recharge my social batteries, and while I do want to spend time with you, I also need you to understand that I can't give you every free minute I have.
I totally agree, especially if you are older. I'm 40 and so at this point, I've just gotten used to my own company and if I have someone else it's because I want to, not because I'm desperate or need them. And while I could make room for someone else and compromise with certain things, I would want my own bedroom and my own space. I like being able to have time at the end of the night to myself. I like stretching out in bed. He can go play video games in his room or do what he wants to do. I can read and do my hobbies, watch what I want on tv, etc. Sex isn't the issue- there would be plenty and we could have a nice nap together and cuddle here and there but I would just want to have space of my own to decompress at the end of the night. I don't know why people have to sleep in the same bed. Most couples I know hate it especially as they get older. They take it personally when it's just about comfort.
→Rudeness to and ignoring of service workers.
→Racism, sexism, intolerance
Casual lawbreaking. Rifer now than ever before, if someone has no respect for a simple set of rules that civilized people are supposed to abide by, they're going to treat everything and everyone in their world (including you) with the same lack of respect.
Depends on the law. Arbitrary laws that exist for no reason other than to give someone power other someone else NEED to be broken. The law here states that you cannot carry 'ANY article which has a blade OR is sharply pointed'. In other words, it is technically illegal to carry a pencil.
If they've ever cheated. I can't trust a person like that.
Always remember, if he/she will cheat with you, he/she will cheat on you
A weird one - but since this is opinion - being undependable.
This is a big one. It's why my first longterm broke up. They were just unreliable.
1) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of their race. I have never once in my life had a single negative thought in my head because of this. I realize that we are a bit different, and I truly enjoy the experience of learning.
2) Disrespecting or insulting a lady. I consider myself a true gentleman. The term does confuse me a bit though. If a man goes too far all gentleness flies out the window. More than once I have ended up in the ER because of this. (Them as well, of course).
3) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of their sexual orientation. My Uncle Mike was gay and was far more of a true father to me than the neglectful/abusive thing that impregnated my mother. He bought me my first wristwatch, taught me how to drive a car and taught me to believe in myself and have true self-respect.
4) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of homelessness. I have done literally hundreds of hours of volunteer work for them, feeding them primarily (ex Chef) but many other ways as well. I have spoken and gotten close to many of them, and the overwhelming majority are there because they have simply fallen on hard times such as losing a job. Others unfortunately have mental issues, and others (ladies primarily) are simply trying to escape abusive relationships.
I admit that I am a bit of a rare breed. I tend to care about others more than I care about myself.
People who are too materialistic and like expensive stuff and can't even afford it, people who glorify Kardashians.
Trying to ‘cure’ someone with mental illness by putting them in situations that make it worse
Oh you have social anxiety? Let’s force you to socialize under stress to “train” you!
People who think things like shoplifting are a joke. I get that, more than even, people wanna stick it to the Man...but jeez guys, it's the little guys that catch hell for your amusement. Knock it off.
And being rude to service workers in general.
My bellwether for new people is how they treat the people they don’t have to be nice to.
1. Lack of compassion. 2. Corporal punishment. 3. Backpedaling/making terrible excuses. 4. Gum smacking (misophonia) 5. Terrible bias 6. Toxic masculinity/femininity 7. Litter bugs 8. Ppl who spread lies/misinformation on medicine/science.
Several years ago I heard from a man who was hiring an administrative assistant. Candidate A was better qualified than Candidate B, but Candidate A chewed gum "like a deranged cow" and loudly smacked and snapped it all through the interview. Candidate B got the job.
Lying. Honesty is the only policy unless it's a joke, but don't forget to let everyone in on it afterward.
Lying gets vilyfied a lot, but honesty really is not always the best solution. Very often being polite/friendly is far more important than telling the truth, especially if an honest input can't change a situation anyway. On the long run/important issues honesty is the way. On Christmas when mom just spent six hours working her butt off in the kitchen for the family and asks "how do you like the roastbeef" it's NOT the time to be honest and tell her you've had better.
Turning everything into extremes and using Ad hominem argumentations. Way too common lately, though
Smoking tobacco. It killed my father and I just can't handle it. It's still a trigger to this day.
While I don't have emotional issues with cigarette smoking (although I would prefer not being with someone who does), I'm at a point I wouldn't want to be with someone who smokes pot all the time. Occasionally is fine but I feel like everybody smokes so much pot these days. I'm so tired of having to deal with potheads. It's literally everyone I know. Can you not go one day without being high? Can I go a week without my clothes smelling like skunk? Can we have a conversation without you being stoned? And can you not complain to me about being broke or how you can't afford rent when you spend 50 bucks a week or more on pot? It's just frustrating. You aren't cool because you collect bongs or know literally everything chemically about pot but can't hold down a job for more than a year. Because keeping a well paying job isn't worth quitting smoking to you. I'm just tired of the whole pot culture thing.
People who don't accept others for being themselves. No matter their color, gender, preference (in anything really), background, appearance, style, ANYTHING. We are all people. Why can't so many people except that?
Not liking dogs. Or any other animal really.
Being unimaginative
Not being curious about something, as in you have no urge to investigate.
Being sure that no answer is the right answer. You just didn't find it yet.
Hypocrisy. Do you hate people that hate? You're a hypocrite. Find an actual reason to hate that is internally consistent, or even better, don't hate.
Being self serving. If this is a zero sum game for you, I'm not interested.
Not having any friends. If someone I’m seeing doesn’t have any friends and are all alone they will try to keep me from having any friends too. I’ve known my best friend for 40+ years and no one is going to keep me from seeing her. Just because they are friendless doesn’t mean I have to be too.
Not necessary true. I don't have a lot of friends (introvert) but it's totally fine by me if my partner (extrovert) wants to hang out with friends as long as we divide time for kids and housework equally (if you have children that is). I like to go to the gym so that's my "me-time" and he hangs out with his friends. No issue with that at all.
People who use an aspect of themselves to justify a*****e behavior. For example, one I see commonly: "I'm an introvert. I'm always making plans to do stuff, then back out last minute! Haha" and act like it makes them oh so quirky.No, you're an a*****e with no respect for your friends and no time management skills.
Totally agree. Besides, a real introvert doesn't make those to begin with.
Slow walkers. I will leave you behind and never look back. Doubles as an easy breakup.
Slow walkers? That's a deal breaker? I walk slow because of a physical limitation. Does that count?
Lying, stealing, cheating, vain, arrogance, racism, sexism, ageism, homophobic types, kiss a$$es. All dealbreakers professionally & personally. I’m a dog person and can’t have cats because I have birds. I used to have chinchillas…..
- people who dont like cats (big cat person i grew up with 2 cats)
- people that think cats are how they are shown in comics and tv shows, they can be very well behaved and gentle creatures! i cant remember any time where our cats knocked something over or bit someone.
- not be mindful of my 500+ hotwheel collection (no redlines :( )
- not like tawog or regular show
- not laughing at my dark jokes :)))))))))))))))))))))
I saw big cat person, thought immediately of lions, tigers, panthers....then read the rest. People dropped off their pregnant cats at my house in the country. I once had 26. My cat just attacked me as I walked out of the bathroom. No offense, but were your cats real? I have had cats for 65 years and every single one has misbehaved, and while they might love to snuggle, they attack as part of their play. And to get my attention, they invariably knock something off just to get my attention. It may not be breakable, but it gets knocked off, or toilet paper has been taken out of the cabinet and rolled into the living room. Normal cat behavior.
Jealousy. I shouldn't have to defend myself for talking to women, including people I've known since childhood, and deescalate your rage and accusations. If we're together, it's because I really like you. I'm going to trust you completely and have confidence in your choices. If you want something else, so be it. I shouldn't have to force you into being with me. I expect the same in return. In the past, it turns out she was projecting her insecurities after being unfaithful herself. Ended it and moved on.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. Sorry, I realize it’s not their fault and I am not an ableist, but I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with either type. This is a dealbreaker for friendships too…
racist, people talking behind your back, childish ness, people who belittle others
Heyyy! Childish Ness is my rapper name! (inspired by Elliot Ness - I fight crime by day and rap at night)
My dealbreakers are (in no particular order):
1) Being the type of person who refuses to be open to others' ideas/thoughts. You don't have to agree but don't shut down someone for disagreeing with you.
2) Misogyny and Misandry
3) Cheaters. There is absolutely no reason to do this. If you feel the need, then break up/divorce your partner first.
4) Abusers. Domestic, child, and animal. Physical, psychological, emotional, verbal, financial and any other ways a person can be abusive towards another.
5) People who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. Also, people who refuse to apologize.
6) Active Drug/Alcohol abusers. If they are sober then that is ok but if they are actively consuming drugs and/or alcohol, then it's a solid nope.
7) Criminals meaning anyone who has committed a violent offense, crimes against persons and places. Basically any crime that is punishable by jail/prison especially felonies.
Not taking responsibility for their actions. I accept most things, no one is perfect but you need to take responsibility and be able to communicate about it. Also, you need to have basic emotional skills and please - no one sided sex. It's a big no no with partners who doesn't return favors or just don't care about you sexually. It speaks a lot of their feelings towards you.
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. Anything that betrays a person's trust means that someone else's trust in you has no value to you. I feel likewise about such people. Coal and diamonds are exactly the same thing (carbon) with one crucial difference: one is rare, precious, valuable and difficult to acquire. The other is plentiful, common and fit only to be burned. Interesting how people are the same way.
I find it disturbing that you're seemingly nonchalant about burning people
individuals who can't form an opinion for themselves.
example
don't know the person but so and so said this so it must be true to.
AND LIARS
Do not make fun of someone who meditates, believes in the healing power of herbs, (not discounting modern medical science here. They can work together) or loves looking for crystals. Just to try to force me to believe you’re right about a political prisoner who died 2000 years ago. Faith and spirituality are part of what makes us who we are. Discuss if you can discuss it with others. If not let. It. Go.
They can't work together, and believing they work at all ("alternative" medication and "religion")... is the reason we are progressing so slowly particularly in controlling things like Covid.
Assuming I am a manchild based on interests. I've watched My Little Pony, I like anthros, and I love to write romantic stories. The moment my date finds these out and judges me, I'm outta here.
If you judge someone on what they listen/read/watch. It shouldn't affect how you treat people
Um, I might have agreed to this 25 years ago, but not since Murdoch & OAN et al. Telling me you respect people who promote lies, hate, and sedition will definitely affect my approach and interactions with them! Have a hard time not judging those self exposed selfish, hate based "My beliefs are better than facts or science" crowd prove many humans suck out loud.
Religion and politics are two topics I don’t want to ever discuss with other people. Bc more often than not, those that don’t agree with you on either topics will either try to change your mind and join them or get nasty and rude just bc you don’t agree with them.
Lying. A pattern of a lying lifestyle. Broke up with 6 guys bc they lied to me & others.
Six guys? You obviously keep attracting them. I suggest you go to therapy and try find out why it is that you are attracting them. Was your dad a habitual liar?
Relationship wise, if she likes dogs. No. I'm a cat person through and through.
Don't suffer fools. And there's so much willful ignorance and contently misinformed around today. Pure laziness and prejudice.
I was about to ask why lazy people weren't on here .
Load More Replies... Some common threads I noticed: 1) bigotry, i.e., racism, homophobia, sexism; 2) rudeness; 3) dislike of animals; 4) dishonesty
Bigotry - unless of course it's bigotry against people with a religious belief, a right-wing political belief, a dislike of animals, personal difficulty with social interaction, etc. in which case it seems to be obligatory to hate and bully them as much as possible. If this is the new atheism then Christianity is starting to look attractive, because I see zero genuine love for other people any more unless they live up to an impossible ideal.
Load More Replies...
Breaking News!!!: Antisocial behavior a deal breaker for relationships or friendships! More news as this sensational, unheard of, never before espoused breaking story unfolds!!!
Don't suffer fools. And there's so much willful ignorance and contently misinformed around today. Pure laziness and prejudice.
I was about to ask why lazy people weren't on here .
Load More Replies... Some common threads I noticed: 1) bigotry, i.e., racism, homophobia, sexism; 2) rudeness; 3) dislike of animals; 4) dishonesty
Bigotry - unless of course it's bigotry against people with a religious belief, a right-wing political belief, a dislike of animals, personal difficulty with social interaction, etc. in which case it seems to be obligatory to hate and bully them as much as possible. If this is the new atheism then Christianity is starting to look attractive, because I see zero genuine love for other people any more unless they live up to an impossible ideal.
Load More Replies... Breaking News!!!: Antisocial behavior a deal breaker for relationships or friendships! More news as this sensational, unheard of, never before espoused breaking story unfolds!!!
