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Woman Who Can’t Stop Making Everything About Her Kids Gets A Blunt Text From Her Sister That Makes Her Mad
The family group chat can serve many purposes. It’s a practical place that can be used for planning holiday and birthday celebrations, but it’s also the perfect place to update your loved ones on your life. Whether you’re having a great day or a terrible one, your parents and siblings will always have your back. Unless, that is, they constantly change the topic to be about them.
One person reached out to Reddit for advice after they got fed up with their sister hijacking every conversation they tried to have with their family. Below, you’ll find all the details, as well as some of the replies invested readers left the author.
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Family group chats should be a safe space for everyone to share about their lives
Image credits: Miguelangel Perez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But this person is fed up with their sister who constantly makes every conversation about her
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TAannoying
It’s extremely common for parents to have a favorite child, whether they want to admit it or not
Ask any parent, and they’ll claim that they love each of their children equally. And I’m sure that most of them believe that’s actually true. But if you were to ask their children if they believe their parents had a favorite, you would likely hear a different story.
The Institute for Family Studies reports that 40% of Americans who grew up with siblings believe that their parents had a favorite child. And women are more likely to perceive parental favoritism, as 45%, compared to only 35% of men, say that their parents favored one kid.
Children of divorced parents are also more likely to believe that there was a golden child in their family, as 51% say so. And when it comes to who was chosen to be the favorite, youngest children are the most likely to believe that they were the favorite. Meanwhile, middle children were the least likely to think they were the golden child.
Unsurprisingly, raising kids in an environment where it’s clear that one is the favorite can have lasting consequences. The Institute for Family Studies notes that Americans are much less likely to be close to their siblings in adulthood if they grew up feeling like one was favored.
At the same time, less than half of Americans who think their parents had a favorite say that they’re satisfied with the relationship they have with their parents today. Even amongst people who did grow up being the golden child, only 55% are happy with the relationship they have with their parents.
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)
Grandparents often start to direct the majority of their attention towards their grandkids
We have no way of knowing what this author’s experience was like when growing up with their sister. But we do know that the sister has children, which can be another easy way to steal attention away from parents.
It’s no secret that many parents hope that they’ll become grandparents as they get older. And according to a YouGov survey, the majority of grandparents want at least four grandchildren. But sometimes, the adult children who choose not to start a family get overlooked after their siblings start having kids.
Grandchildren demand a lot of attention, and it’s easy for parents to forget that their kids are going through a lot in their lives, even if they don’t have little ones of their own. And unfortunately, some parents have a talent for making everything about them.
Choosing Therapy notes that some of the signs of a narcissistic parent are the need to be the center of attention, being immature and selfish, blaming others for their behavior, and showing little concern for others’ needs and feelings.
They can also be manipulative and exploitative, will do anything to be the best, become annoyed when anyone else asks for attention, and have no problem publicly embarrassing others.
Siblings are supposed to look out for one another, but if it’s become clear that the relationship is causing more stress than it’s worth, it might be time to set boundaries. Headspace notes that it’s important to know that your sibling’s issues are not your fault. At the end of the day, you have to put your own mental health and peace of mind first.
Later, the author responded to several comments and provided more information
Some readers assured them that they had done nothing wrong
However, some believed that everyone could have handled the situation more maturely
Others thought that nobody was at fault
Meanwhile, some provided advice on how to deal with the situation
And others said that the author was at fault
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What do you think ?
Luke || Kira (he/she) 13 hours ago
I understand it's probably a very joyous period in a lot of people's lives, but for real - mothers who make their motherhood their entire personality are a SPECIAL kind of obnoxious.
FreeTheUnicorn 15 hours ago
It's not about the kids/motherhood it's about her. Sister changes the subject to something OP can't come in on so she takes her out of the conversation.
Kate Johnson 8 hours ago (edited)
I think in this situation, I'd just leave the group chat entirely, go low contact with sister, keeping her at a tolerable distance, and just personally contact any the folks I wanted advice from directly. Since all this seems to be centered around the group chat, no need to continue to participate in it. If they give you a hard time about not participating, just say you don't enjoy group chats and if they wanted to know anything about your life, there's nothing stopping them from keeping in touch.
Binky Melnik 3 hours ago (edited)
If she does as you suggest, then the people “will wonder,” “feel left out,” or other very minor reaction, all of which seem unacceptable to OP. 🙄 Normal people think “So what?” but OP abnormally believes “We can’t have that; I can’t cause feelings.” Urgh. 🥵 I’m astonished that I still have a tuft of hair left after having read this! How was she raised to believe she’s responsible for EVERYONE’s feelings, good, bad, otherwise, and/or unremarkable? It’s *gotta* be exhausting (“Betty’s sad she misplaced her oven mitt; that poor woman! I don’t know how to fix this!”) The ONLY “fix” she needs is a therapist teaching her how she’s NOT responsible for others’ feelings, that only those of her IMMEDIATE family matter, and that there’s a hard line between “important feelings” and ones which don’t matter (pink handbag doesn’t PRECISELY match pink pumps). Some (many) of these aren’t even “feelings” but rather observations or reactions.
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Luke || Kira (he/she) 13 hours ago
I understand it's probably a very joyous period in a lot of people's lives, but for real - mothers who make their motherhood their entire personality are a SPECIAL kind of obnoxious.
FreeTheUnicorn 15 hours ago
It's not about the kids/motherhood it's about her. Sister changes the subject to something OP can't come in on so she takes her out of the conversation.
Kate Johnson 8 hours ago (edited)
I think in this situation, I'd just leave the group chat entirely, go low contact with sister, keeping her at a tolerable distance, and just personally contact any the folks I wanted advice from directly. Since all this seems to be centered around the group chat, no need to continue to participate in it. If they give you a hard time about not participating, just say you don't enjoy group chats and if they wanted to know anything about your life, there's nothing stopping them from keeping in touch.
Binky Melnik 3 hours ago (edited)
If she does as you suggest, then the people “will wonder,” “feel left out,” or other very minor reaction, all of which seem unacceptable to OP. 🙄 Normal people think “So what?” but OP abnormally believes “We can’t have that; I can’t cause feelings.” Urgh. 🥵 I’m astonished that I still have a tuft of hair left after having read this! How was she raised to believe she’s responsible for EVERYONE’s feelings, good, bad, otherwise, and/or unremarkable? It’s *gotta* be exhausting (“Betty’s sad she misplaced her oven mitt; that poor woman! I don’t know how to fix this!”) The ONLY “fix” she needs is a therapist teaching her how she’s NOT responsible for others’ feelings, that only those of her IMMEDIATE family matter, and that there’s a hard line between “important feelings” and ones which don’t matter (pink handbag doesn’t PRECISELY match pink pumps). Some (many) of these aren’t even “feelings” but rather observations or reactions.
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