Rude Woman Receives Nothing But Pranks On Halloween After Her Ignorant Actions Have Consequences
Trick-or-treating is supposed to be a great bit of fun, from the costumes to the abundance of candy for the kids to enjoy later. It’s also a great way to build a sense of community, as people visit their neighbors, interact, and just have a good time.
But one mom ended up having to blacklist a house in her neighborhood because the people there refused to give her autistic child any candy. This quickly spiraled into drama, as the neighbors attempted to retaliate. People discussed ableism and what it means to be a good neighbor while giving OP some advice.
Going trick-or-treating should be a magical time for children
Image credits: Charles Parker (not the actual photo)
But a mom discovered that one house would simply not give her autistic daughter any candy
Image credits: Anton Rudyk (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/halloweengoodiebags
Ableism is cruel, misguided, and ugly
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
While we have no way of knowing exactly why these neighbors refused to give candy to specifically an autistic child, their actions do follow pretty standard definitions of ableism. To those who are not familiar with the concept, congratulations, but simply put, it means to discriminate against someone for a physical or mental disability.
As horrible as it sounds, for much of human history, people with disabilities have been regularly and systematically excluded from society. In the United States, where material conditions were relatively better, ableism was only legally defined in the 1970s. Up until then, people could exclude the disabled from public life, if they so choose. Some locations even had horrible “ugly laws” which actually prohibited some people with disabilities from showing themselves in public.
Researchers believe that ableism comes from a variety of factors. Firstly, people who grow up in environments where they are not taught to treat the disabled as fully-fledged human beings will often see them as lesser than themselves. This may stem from old-fashioned beliefs about Darwinism and misguided ideals regarding who “deserves” to live.
Ableism and entitlement often go hand in hand
Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)
While trick-or-treating isn’t defined by law, meaning that these neighbors could choose to exclude OP’s daughter, their actions are antithetical to the entire idea of a community. Instead of doing something nice, they refused to back down over a technicality, ruining their reputation in the long run. It’s actually hard to imagine a good reason not to give a six-year-old a candy bar when you have her sibling’s ones right before.
As often happens with horrible, entitled folks, the neighbors seem to be trying to do some damage control and claiming the whole thing is blown out of proportion. This is a classic strategy of bigots who do at least realize that the majority of the population does not at all support their beliefs. As a result, they have to turn to excuses and obfuscation.
Neurodivergency is more common than many people might expect
Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev (not the actual photo)
Regardless of what these neighbors believe, neurodiversity is quite common. Researchers believe that at least 15-20% of the human population is neurodivergent to some level, with the real number likely being a lot higher. After all, it’s pretty hard to measure, hard to self-diagnose, and hard to spot in the “wild” except in extreme cases.
As many of the comments noted, there is no reason for these neighbors to act the way they do. There was not a scarcity of candy, demanding that every single child repeat a phrase is just demeaning, and their refusal to accept OP’s explanation is, ironically, quite small-minded. An adult being cruel to a six-year-old is without a doubt something that needs to be called out.
Readers thought the neighbor’s behavior was shocking
Halloween isn't as widely celebrated in France as it is in the US, and the children are supposed to say "des bonbons ou un sort" (essentially, "trick or treat"). The children come around town to shops for the most part, instead of to houses. I sat outside one of our local bars this week and the bartender would hold up his big box of candies and prompt children to say "des bonbons ou un sort" (trick or treat), but if they didn't he would gently smile and let them say "Un bonbon" (a piece of candy) or "Merci" (thank you) or "S'il te plaît" (please) and give them a piece of candy regardless. And if they were just too shy, he would give them a piece anyway. This woman in this article treats children like misbehaving pet monkeys (and I would call animal welfare on her if she had a pet).
One year a family moved into my neigbourhood from Turkey. The kids (twins) were friendly with mine so I took them around for their very first Hallowe'en. Some neighbours refused to give them candy because they had no costume and didn't know the rhyme, being barely able to speak English. They had been so excited to go out, and this really upset them. They couldn't understand why other kids were getting candy, but they were not. I tried to explain, but they would not listen. Still sad about that, it was less about the candy than being made to feel different and rejected, their first time out in a new country.
Why didn’t you teach them, phonetically, to say “trick or treat”? Please don’t take this as aggressive, I’m just intrigued as to the reason.
Load More Replies... I don't care who you are, what you say or don't say, whether or not you have a costume, how old you are, you get candy. Halloween is my favorite holiday and imma share it with EVERYONE!
13f here- I still trick or treat, and I know seniors who would rather trick or treat than go to a party
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We go trick or treating in a friend’s neighborhood every year for a couple reasons. Mainly, because our son is an only child and also because their neighborhood gets into it. So I spend the night following around my 7 year old trying my best to keep eyes on him with herds of costumed kids around. At one point I couldn’t see him and I asked the parents I was with where the kids went. We all realized we couldn’t see about 5 of our kids. But a moment later they emerged from someone’s backyard. There was a big open gate where you could see the whole way in. They had a screen and projector set up playing tv (about a quarter of these houses do this). Anyways we all talk to our kids and apparently they just walked back there and had some pizza and soda. No one gave it to them, they just took it. Now my son is a super sweet thoughtful kid that doesn’t really get in trouble much. So stealing, trespassing, etc are not normal behaviors for him. I think part of it was the group mentality. Idk.
Part of me thinks it’s hilarious. Part of me is terrified that my kid went into someone else’s yard so willingly from a safety stand point. And part of me is concerned that this was really thoughtless behavior that is actually illegal.
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Seriously - WHO are these a******s? I can't even imagine, I can't *fathom* refusing to give a child candy because they haven't performed for f***s sake. Too old, not costumed enough, not sociable enough, not normal enough, not from this neighborhood the list goes on and on....if you don't want to frickin' give out candy, THEN DON'T. It's not that hard. Turn off your light, sit in your house, be a hater. This is ridiculous.
Porch lights on, pumpkins out and lit- means, "Yes, we're giving out candy tonight if you come to the door". No other requirements. You don't have to say anything; not even "thank you" (though it's always appreciated)
My son (33) found the perfect house for trick or treating this week. His wife was going with their baby and son (6) with some friends while he was coming along behind with their oldest daughter (2). At one of the houses the lady was giving out full sized candy bars instead of the small ones. There was also one raw potato in the bucket, and little bottles of booze for the adults if they were in costume (my son was). My grandson took the potato, by the way.
HAHAHA potato <3 If you don't mind, what did he do with the potato??? I gotta know
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I suspect she just "picked the wrong hill to die on" and didn't get the pat on the back she felt she deserved and was too ìnmature to admit she was wrong
I'm sorry this happened my daughter is autistic and nonverbal and we would take her with her sisters and she loved it and everyone was understanding and kind . That woman's behaviour is disgusting and I hope someone egged her house
This is not just about Halloween. Children should be kept away form this woman every other day of the year as well. Probably adults too.
I am 51m and beg people to warn me about people like this... so I can avoid them and potentially their entire sphere of influence
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We don't have a lot of trick-or-treaters at our place (apartment life) but we had a few more this year than usual. One was very quiet, didn't say but 'thank you' and wouldn't look us in the eye. You know what? I gave them their freaking candy because it's Halloween! Yes, it's 'traditional' to say t-r-t, but it's ridiculous to hold out because of that one very small thing! The handing out treats is a tradition to give offerings to the spirits who come around on Halloween. If you don't do so, you're liable to be pranked by them. That's exactly what happened here as far as I'm concerned.
My heart breaks for your child. My neighbors were sitting out with the bowl of candy, so I came and sat with them. I brought my black and orange Tortie Cat Cali with me. She was the hit of the night. All of the kids wanted to pet her. One of the last kids was a 3 y/o with his mom. The mom explained that he loves kitties, but he's autistic. I told her that's OK, he can pet Cali, she's gentle and LOVES attention.
You can't look at a child and tell that they are neurodivergent. But if a child is not speaking or acting a bit oddly, just let it slide. Could be a hundred reasons: shy, ailing, neurodivergent, upset over something you don't know about, whatever. We, as adults, only need to "do something" if the child is actively in danger or causing harm to others (setting something on fire, hitting another child, hurting an animal, pocketing goods in a shop, running into traffic). It's not that hard to understand that kids are kids and they come in a variety of packages.
Huge NTA. Don’t f**k with/be mean to the autistic kids, us younger generations will absolutely prank the heck out of your house. Hope you like eggs.
This reminds me of something I experienced in 3rd grade (am autistic). Some kid was handing out cupcakes at snacktime and the teacher took my cupcake away cause I didn't say thank you. I did not even have time to process the fact that I HAD a cupcake, let alone remember to say thank you and then actually speak.
Not giving candy to a child on Halloween is the biggest giveaway of how horrible a person is. I'm not talking about just not handling out candy at all, but deliberately omitting an innocent child because YOU are uncomfortable. I hope she never gets the eggs of her siding.
People can be real jerks when it comes to giving. I saw another recent post from a guy complaining about kids from poor neighborhoods coming trick or treating in his fancy upper-class neighborhood where the candy is a lot nicer. I guess he figures that poor children don't deserve to have anything nice.
Any kid that shows up, gets candy (or a toy if they can't have candy.) Period!!! It's Halloween, not the Second Coming, fer cryin' out loud!
Back in my day you either gave candy or you got a 'trick'. It's better now that kids don't do that any more. If you don't want to give out candy to anyone who knocks on your door, turn your porch light off. If you want to play 'traditionally tho...' games -- well I encourage you to think about that. Because we definitely would have egged your house, tp'd it, or maybe just your car.
The woman is an AH. But doxxing her was also an a*****e move. You never know how violent people can get over mundane subjects. We protect our children but ultimately they need to understand there will always be aholes in the world. We can't let them live in our heads.
This is *not* an example of someone "living in our heads"... doing nothing is actually far, far moreso for many of us. And either passing the experience along, or not, is a viable choice depending on the motivation. I have become more aware of nuances, perspectives, and intentions in my older years. And I've been poisoned uncountable times, starting when I myself was a child, by people telling me to "let things go" when I needed to speak up. No more. I am not brash or reckless in matters like this, but I *am* far less of the doormat I was when much younger.
Load More Replies... Halloween isn't as widely celebrated in France as it is in the US, and the children are supposed to say "des bonbons ou un sort" (essentially, "trick or treat"). The children come around town to shops for the most part, instead of to houses. I sat outside one of our local bars this week and the bartender would hold up his big box of candies and prompt children to say "des bonbons ou un sort" (trick or treat), but if they didn't he would gently smile and let them say "Un bonbon" (a piece of candy) or "Merci" (thank you) or "S'il te plaît" (please) and give them a piece of candy regardless. And if they were just too shy, he would give them a piece anyway. This woman in this article treats children like misbehaving pet monkeys (and I would call animal welfare on her if she had a pet).
One year a family moved into my neigbourhood from Turkey. The kids (twins) were friendly with mine so I took them around for their very first Hallowe'en. Some neighbours refused to give them candy because they had no costume and didn't know the rhyme, being barely able to speak English. They had been so excited to go out, and this really upset them. They couldn't understand why other kids were getting candy, but they were not. I tried to explain, but they would not listen. Still sad about that, it was less about the candy than being made to feel different and rejected, their first time out in a new country.
Why didn’t you teach them, phonetically, to say “trick or treat”? Please don’t take this as aggressive, I’m just intrigued as to the reason.
Load More Replies... I don't care who you are, what you say or don't say, whether or not you have a costume, how old you are, you get candy. Halloween is my favorite holiday and imma share it with EVERYONE!
13f here- I still trick or treat, and I know seniors who would rather trick or treat than go to a party
Load More Replies... We go trick or treating in a friend’s neighborhood every year for a couple reasons. Mainly, because our son is an only child and also because their neighborhood gets into it. So I spend the night following around my 7 year old trying my best to keep eyes on him with herds of costumed kids around. At one point I couldn’t see him and I asked the parents I was with where the kids went. We all realized we couldn’t see about 5 of our kids. But a moment later they emerged from someone’s backyard. There was a big open gate where you could see the whole way in. They had a screen and projector set up playing tv (about a quarter of these houses do this). Anyways we all talk to our kids and apparently they just walked back there and had some pizza and soda. No one gave it to them, they just took it. Now my son is a super sweet thoughtful kid that doesn’t really get in trouble much. So stealing, trespassing, etc are not normal behaviors for him. I think part of it was the group mentality. Idk.
Part of me thinks it’s hilarious. Part of me is terrified that my kid went into someone else’s yard so willingly from a safety stand point. And part of me is concerned that this was really thoughtless behavior that is actually illegal.
Load More Replies... Seriously - WHO are these a******s? I can't even imagine, I can't *fathom* refusing to give a child candy because they haven't performed for f***s sake. Too old, not costumed enough, not sociable enough, not normal enough, not from this neighborhood the list goes on and on....if you don't want to frickin' give out candy, THEN DON'T. It's not that hard. Turn off your light, sit in your house, be a hater. This is ridiculous.
Porch lights on, pumpkins out and lit- means, "Yes, we're giving out candy tonight if you come to the door". No other requirements. You don't have to say anything; not even "thank you" (though it's always appreciated)
My son (33) found the perfect house for trick or treating this week. His wife was going with their baby and son (6) with some friends while he was coming along behind with their oldest daughter (2). At one of the houses the lady was giving out full sized candy bars instead of the small ones. There was also one raw potato in the bucket, and little bottles of booze for the adults if they were in costume (my son was). My grandson took the potato, by the way.
HAHAHA potato <3 If you don't mind, what did he do with the potato??? I gotta know
Load More Replies... I suspect she just "picked the wrong hill to die on" and didn't get the pat on the back she felt she deserved and was too ìnmature to admit she was wrong
I'm sorry this happened my daughter is autistic and nonverbal and we would take her with her sisters and she loved it and everyone was understanding and kind . That woman's behaviour is disgusting and I hope someone egged her house
This is not just about Halloween. Children should be kept away form this woman every other day of the year as well. Probably adults too.
I am 51m and beg people to warn me about people like this... so I can avoid them and potentially their entire sphere of influence
Load More Replies... We don't have a lot of trick-or-treaters at our place (apartment life) but we had a few more this year than usual. One was very quiet, didn't say but 'thank you' and wouldn't look us in the eye. You know what? I gave them their freaking candy because it's Halloween! Yes, it's 'traditional' to say t-r-t, but it's ridiculous to hold out because of that one very small thing! The handing out treats is a tradition to give offerings to the spirits who come around on Halloween. If you don't do so, you're liable to be pranked by them. That's exactly what happened here as far as I'm concerned.
My heart breaks for your child. My neighbors were sitting out with the bowl of candy, so I came and sat with them. I brought my black and orange Tortie Cat Cali with me. She was the hit of the night. All of the kids wanted to pet her. One of the last kids was a 3 y/o with his mom. The mom explained that he loves kitties, but he's autistic. I told her that's OK, he can pet Cali, she's gentle and LOVES attention.
You can't look at a child and tell that they are neurodivergent. But if a child is not speaking or acting a bit oddly, just let it slide. Could be a hundred reasons: shy, ailing, neurodivergent, upset over something you don't know about, whatever. We, as adults, only need to "do something" if the child is actively in danger or causing harm to others (setting something on fire, hitting another child, hurting an animal, pocketing goods in a shop, running into traffic). It's not that hard to understand that kids are kids and they come in a variety of packages.
Huge NTA. Don’t f**k with/be mean to the autistic kids, us younger generations will absolutely prank the heck out of your house. Hope you like eggs.
This reminds me of something I experienced in 3rd grade (am autistic). Some kid was handing out cupcakes at snacktime and the teacher took my cupcake away cause I didn't say thank you. I did not even have time to process the fact that I HAD a cupcake, let alone remember to say thank you and then actually speak.
Not giving candy to a child on Halloween is the biggest giveaway of how horrible a person is. I'm not talking about just not handling out candy at all, but deliberately omitting an innocent child because YOU are uncomfortable. I hope she never gets the eggs of her siding.
People can be real jerks when it comes to giving. I saw another recent post from a guy complaining about kids from poor neighborhoods coming trick or treating in his fancy upper-class neighborhood where the candy is a lot nicer. I guess he figures that poor children don't deserve to have anything nice.
Any kid that shows up, gets candy (or a toy if they can't have candy.) Period!!! It's Halloween, not the Second Coming, fer cryin' out loud!
Back in my day you either gave candy or you got a 'trick'. It's better now that kids don't do that any more. If you don't want to give out candy to anyone who knocks on your door, turn your porch light off. If you want to play 'traditionally tho...' games -- well I encourage you to think about that. Because we definitely would have egged your house, tp'd it, or maybe just your car.
The woman is an AH. But doxxing her was also an a*****e move. You never know how violent people can get over mundane subjects. We protect our children but ultimately they need to understand there will always be aholes in the world. We can't let them live in our heads.
This is *not* an example of someone "living in our heads"... doing nothing is actually far, far moreso for many of us. And either passing the experience along, or not, is a viable choice depending on the motivation. I have become more aware of nuances, perspectives, and intentions in my older years. And I've been poisoned uncountable times, starting when I myself was a child, by people telling me to "let things go" when I needed to speak up. No more. I am not brash or reckless in matters like this, but I *am* far less of the doormat I was when much younger.
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