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“You Mean Nothing To Me”: Teen Regrets Her Words To Stepmom After Being Denied Beach Trip
“You Mean Nothing To Me”: Teen Regrets Her Words To Stepmom After Being Denied Beach Trip
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“You Mean Nothing To Me”: Teen Regrets Her Words To Stepmom After Being Denied Beach Trip

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Family relationships can be complicated for many reasons, often even more so when it’s a stepfamily; becoming a part of a newly formed clan comes with a certain set of challenges.

Redditor ‘OppositePumpkin2750’ recently opened up about the challenges she faced trying to create a relationship with her stepdaughter. The teenage girl seemingly wanted nothing to do with her dad’s wife and showed her no respect—that is, until she learned that her stepmom was going on a beach trip.

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    Stepfamily relationships can be quite difficult to navigate

    Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)

    This woman tried creating a relationship with her stepdaughter, but the latter wanted nothing to do with her

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    Image credits: Fa Barboza (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Allison Huang (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: OppositePumpkin2750

    Forming an amicable stepparent-stepchild relationship might be challenging

    Typically referring to families consisting of a child or children, a parent and their new spouse, stepfamilies—like regular families, for that matter—each have a unique dynamic. While some are more than capable of fostering loving relationships between all members, others find it difficult to coexist in peace.

    Some of the main challenges stepfamilies face, as pointed out by Utah State University Extension, are the role of the stepparent, competition for attention, and conflicts over loyalty-related matters. The first problem is based on the fact that it can be tricky to figure out how a stepparent should interact with the stepchild. It’s suggested that at least in the beginning of building a relationship, it might be best to refrain from disciplining the child and try to develop a friendship first.

    The second and third factors affecting stepfamily relationships are based on the mixed feelings the child might feel towards the new addition to the family, as well as their own parent. They might consider the parent’s new partner a threat or competition in regards to the biological parent’s attention or feel worried over taking sides between the new person and other family members.

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    Image credits: Xavier Mouton Photographie (not the actual photo)

    As a growing number of marriages end in divorce, many people find themselves living in stepfamilies

    Nowadays, quite a few families go through structural changes at one point or another. According to Pew Research Center, roughly 15% of children in the US live with parents in a remarriage, as two-parent households are reportedly on the decline and such scenarios as divorce, remarriage and cohabitation seem to be on the rise.

    The change resulting in a growing number of stepfamilies is likely to be driven by a growing number of Americans ending their marriages. Nowadays, roughly two-thirds of people under 50 who’ve ever been married are still in their first marriage, while the number of such people back in 1960 was as high as 83%.

    A separate survey carried out by Pew Research Center back in 2010 found that back then, more than 40% of people in the US were part of a stepfamily; and they were as likely as any other family to say that their kin is the most important thing in their life. In addition to that, roughly seven-in-ten adults with at least one step relative say that they are very satisfied with their family life.

    While the OP’s stepdaughter didn’t seem to be too happy with her family life, or with her stepmother, at least, the latter tried being patient and understanding with her, as the woman herself has gone through her parents’ divorce, as she revealed in the comments. In addition to sharing more details in the comments, the OP also provided fellow redditors with an update on how things evolved later on.

    Fellow redditors shared their thoughts in the comments, the OP replied to some of them

    Some people believed that it’s not only about the stepdaughter, but the husband, too

    The OP provided an update on how things developed

    Image credits: gpointstudio (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: OppositePumpkin2750

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    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Author, Community member

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Vėja Elkimavičiūtė

    Vėja Elkimavičiūtė

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. Looking at pets and memes is the best part of my work. I love to travel and want to see the world. Still looking and exploring stuff I like and want to do so thats exciting... and sometimes not

    Read less »

    Vėja Elkimavičiūtė

    Vėja Elkimavičiūtė

    Author, Community member

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. Looking at pets and memes is the best part of my work. I love to travel and want to see the world. Still looking and exploring stuff I like and want to do so thats exciting... and sometimes not

    What do you think ?
    MR
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The mother gets it. That's a huge positive. The father not seems to be the real hang up.

    pasej41913@bustayes.com
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Daughter f****d around and found out. Good life lesson: actions have consequences

    sharyn turnicky
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dad's job requires alot of travel. He has next to no idea what goes on at home. If it were stepmother 's son treating him this way the story would take on a whole other meaning and response. He is heading for another divorce if he doesn't wake-up

    Lisa Barbeau
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He hasn’t wanted to know because during his little bit of time at home he wants the illusion of peace and quiet with no problems.

    Load More Replies...
    Annie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had 2 stepdaughters who were even worse: one used to steal makeup & clothes and let her friends steal things from the house, the other used to break my things, both were rude & disrespectful, their father never really said anything because he thought I was exaggerating. After I divorced him, he remarried & got 2 nasty stepkids! A mutual friend told me he said it made him realize what I had gone through with his kids.

    Sunny Day
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister-in-law went thru this with my nephew (from first wife). My brother made things worse by siding with the kid. SIL was the one doing all the parental duties - feeding, clothing, laundry, chauffeur to/from school and activities, while working full time & attending school herself - but if there was a disagreement "he's not your kid". It took a lot of years, but nephew finally realized what his step mom had done for him, and how his own mom had manipulated him and used him. When he got married a few years back, he told his mom there would be no mother/groom dance. She attended but left the reception early. After she left, Nephew had the DJ play the mother/groom song, and asked his stepmom to dance with him.

    Gwyn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can acknowledge her feelings and still hold firm on consequences. OP talks about how they understand her feelings but it never says that they acknowledged her feelings back to her or even told her that they care about her. All their talk is about behavior and consequences with her. Having a talk about the complicated feelings she must have might go a long way.

    S Moran
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. At least from what they shared. Validation is important, especially at that age.

    Load More Replies...
    Brindle Nutter
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    daddy dearest needs to step up and have a talk with his rude daughter about respect. Edited to fix spelling error

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So glad that all three adults have a good relationship and that the mom isn't some a*****e and actually agrees with and had OP's back. The father is the one that's slacking in all this.

    LuciBelle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my parents divorced and dad remarried mom sat us down and told us that we were to treat stepmom with the same respect we did her and if we didn’t there would be consequences. She then said if stepmom was mean to us to let her know and she’d deal with it. 35 years later we all have a great relationship, parents, steps, and all. And all the kids with their partners, exes, and all variety of kids. Some of my grandkids have 18 grandparents and we all get along great. Have to have a big space for family parties though….

    Load More Replies...
    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If my stepsons had done anything like this, my husband would have had a LOT to say about it, not tell ME to get over it when there's something they want and can't have.

    C.O. Shea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yikes! Daddy married a new caretaker... he's the ásshole here.

    Load More Comments
    MR
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The mother gets it. That's a huge positive. The father not seems to be the real hang up.

    pasej41913@bustayes.com
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Daughter f****d around and found out. Good life lesson: actions have consequences

    sharyn turnicky
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dad's job requires alot of travel. He has next to no idea what goes on at home. If it were stepmother 's son treating him this way the story would take on a whole other meaning and response. He is heading for another divorce if he doesn't wake-up

    Lisa Barbeau
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He hasn’t wanted to know because during his little bit of time at home he wants the illusion of peace and quiet with no problems.

    Load More Replies...
    Annie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had 2 stepdaughters who were even worse: one used to steal makeup & clothes and let her friends steal things from the house, the other used to break my things, both were rude & disrespectful, their father never really said anything because he thought I was exaggerating. After I divorced him, he remarried & got 2 nasty stepkids! A mutual friend told me he said it made him realize what I had gone through with his kids.

    Sunny Day
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister-in-law went thru this with my nephew (from first wife). My brother made things worse by siding with the kid. SIL was the one doing all the parental duties - feeding, clothing, laundry, chauffeur to/from school and activities, while working full time & attending school herself - but if there was a disagreement "he's not your kid". It took a lot of years, but nephew finally realized what his step mom had done for him, and how his own mom had manipulated him and used him. When he got married a few years back, he told his mom there would be no mother/groom dance. She attended but left the reception early. After she left, Nephew had the DJ play the mother/groom song, and asked his stepmom to dance with him.

    Gwyn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can acknowledge her feelings and still hold firm on consequences. OP talks about how they understand her feelings but it never says that they acknowledged her feelings back to her or even told her that they care about her. All their talk is about behavior and consequences with her. Having a talk about the complicated feelings she must have might go a long way.

    S Moran
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. At least from what they shared. Validation is important, especially at that age.

    Load More Replies...
    Brindle Nutter
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    daddy dearest needs to step up and have a talk with his rude daughter about respect. Edited to fix spelling error

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So glad that all three adults have a good relationship and that the mom isn't some a*****e and actually agrees with and had OP's back. The father is the one that's slacking in all this.

    LuciBelle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my parents divorced and dad remarried mom sat us down and told us that we were to treat stepmom with the same respect we did her and if we didn’t there would be consequences. She then said if stepmom was mean to us to let her know and she’d deal with it. 35 years later we all have a great relationship, parents, steps, and all. And all the kids with their partners, exes, and all variety of kids. Some of my grandkids have 18 grandparents and we all get along great. Have to have a big space for family parties though….

    Load More Replies...
    Wysteria_Rose
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If my stepsons had done anything like this, my husband would have had a LOT to say about it, not tell ME to get over it when there's something they want and can't have.

    C.O. Shea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yikes! Daddy married a new caretaker... he's the ásshole here.

    Load More Comments
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