“‘Do Not Disturb’ Means Leave Me Alone”: Employee Sends Out An Angry Email To Colleague Who Keeps Contacting Them Even When Unavailable
It’s no big shocker that work can get rather stressful; you know, the deadlines, the nagging boss, whatever. Yet, what also doesn’t help the cause are the pestering colleagues! And let me tell you, the author of today’s tale is no stranger to this issue.
The thing is, u/aita_meeting_message tried their best to make their coworker understand that he doesn’t need to bombard them with emails and calls while they’re on DND – however, it seems that some folks are pretty bad at reading the room.
More info: Reddit
Person demands coworker stop pestering them with questions while they’re on ‘Do Not Disturb’
Image credits: Austin Distel (not the actual image)
He doesn’t listen and continues to bombard them with emails and calls when they’re unavailable
Image credits: Nothing Ahead (not the actual image)
Image credits: Brett Jordan (not the actual image)
Image source: u/aita_meeting_message
“AITA For Swearing At A Coworker For Contacting Me While On ‘Do Not Disturb’?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if they’re indeed a jerk for cussing out their colleague. The post managed to garner over 7K upvotes as well as 1.6K comments discussing the situation.
Let’s face it, we all know a certain someone who gets on our nerves at work – the one whose antics you must brace yourself for on a Sunday night right before closing your eyes and whatnot.
For instance, the “chatterbox” who won’t keep it quiet, someone who can’t resist hovering over your shoulder, the infamous “one-upper,” or a gossipmonger that acts like a teenage girl in the halls of a high school – chances are, you’ve come across these types of individuals at least once or twice.
The problem is, though, handling such folk is an incredibly delicate matter.
Think about it: if we were to encounter someone who thrived on spreading rumors – a friend of a friend, perhaps – we’d not even contemplate it; we’d call that person out on their nonsense and move on with our lives. However, when it comes to a professional environment, you have to keep your cool, or else you risk putting yourself in HR’s office.
Still, we’re all human with a limited number of nerve cells, meaning that sooner or later, we’re bound to snap, regardless of how bad the consequences are.
Moreover, earning a stern talking-to from a superior is not the worst-case scenario! According to this 2020 piece from Moneypenny, a world-leading outsourced communication provider, 2 in 5 people have considered leaving their job (43% of men and 38% of women), and 23% of people have even left a job all because of an annoying coworker.
That said, we’ve got to put ourselves first before we reach our end point!
Coming into work knowing that you’re about to get bugged about every little thing while unavailable – or even better, in a meeting – is, without a doubt, aggravating. However, there isn’t even a word to describe the feeling that you feel when people decide to completely disregard the boundaries that you’ve spoken about on several occasions; so, the only thing that we can blame the original poster for really is their choice to handle the culprit over email and not in a more intimate setting without the potential eyes of management!
It provokes the worker to pen a heated email that leads to them being dubbed “demeaning”
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual image)
Now, to get a more professional outlook on this situation, Bored Panda decided to reach out to Jennifer Rosvally, a licensed clinical social worker in New York City. Jennifer has been in practice since 1978; she sees adults in private practice, using individual, couples, and group therapy!
First things first, the expert said: “Work relationships are challenging because they are not relationships that we choose to have. They are thrust upon us. Difficult coworkers happen all the time. Personality clashes are very common. In a solid company, there are usually resources (Human Resources, a company ombudsperson, and even good managers should be able to intervene when needed).
“The author of this Reddit post discusses their difficulty handling a coworker who is not respectful of their boundaries at work. (Your freedom ends at the tip of your nose.) We need to respect one another’s boundaries if we are to get any work done. This strikes me as a really good opportunity for growth (both for the coworker who is trespassing and the author who needs to insist management intervene). A good manager would want their workers to be as efficient as possible.”
Jennifer then offered some tips on how to deal with difficult coworkers:
- Be respectful to those around you.
- Follow the Golden Rule (do unto others as you’d have others do unto you).
- Be as kind as possible.
- When someone is provoking you, don’t fall for it, get help (someone to intervene).
- Make the point to your manager that you will produce better quality work if they intervene.
Last but certainly not least, the woman added: “Mindful meditation and body scans, [and] deep breathing can help stress in the moment. It’s OK to hit the pause button, take a breath, and scan your body for sensations. That puts you in the moment and out of the storyline that is stressing you out. It can wait!”
What is your take on the story, though? Do you think the original poster was a tad out of line?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation
Take him out back and swear at him face to face. Cathartic and no witnesses. Never, ever put swear words in writing on a company computer.
That's good advice. But looking at it in the context of "Is he the AH because he swore at him"? NTA. He tried talking to this guy. No luck. Some people don't get the hint even when it's a direct statement. This dude was engaging in bad behavior. I see it as doing the guy a favor. Going to his manger messes with that guys career. Rather than risk him getting a permanent mark, he just cussed him out.
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If he has been talked to by management and is still doing it, escalate it up the management chain and loop in HR, because somebody besides OP is not doing their job properly. It should never have gotten to the stage of swearing because this should have been stopped ages ago. Also, whatever software he's using clearly doesn't have an effective DND function. It should prevent calls, IM's and notifications unless you specifically set an exception.
If I was the OP I'd be setting up forwarding rules and turning them on when I went into a meeting. Automatically forward the multiple messages to your supervisor so he sees in real time just how much the other guy is spamming.
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NTA. You warned him in writing. He played stupid games and won a stupid prize.
Take him out back and swear at him face to face. Cathartic and no witnesses. Never, ever put swear words in writing on a company computer.
That's good advice. But looking at it in the context of "Is he the AH because he swore at him"? NTA. He tried talking to this guy. No luck. Some people don't get the hint even when it's a direct statement. This dude was engaging in bad behavior. I see it as doing the guy a favor. Going to his manger messes with that guys career. Rather than risk him getting a permanent mark, he just cussed him out.
Load More Replies... If he has been talked to by management and is still doing it, escalate it up the management chain and loop in HR, because somebody besides OP is not doing their job properly. It should never have gotten to the stage of swearing because this should have been stopped ages ago. Also, whatever software he's using clearly doesn't have an effective DND function. It should prevent calls, IM's and notifications unless you specifically set an exception.
If I was the OP I'd be setting up forwarding rules and turning them on when I went into a meeting. Automatically forward the multiple messages to your supervisor so he sees in real time just how much the other guy is spamming.
Load More Replies... NTA. You warned him in writing. He played stupid games and won a stupid prize.
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