Very often stalking isn’t taken seriously because being creeped out by a person isn’t a serious enough crime for anyone to do anything about it. But the worst part is that when a stalker does something, it might already be too late.
Authorities react to stalking even less if it’s a man complaining about unwanted attention from a woman. This high school senior experienced it himself and when he reacted to his stalker giving him a gift by throwing it away, he was called cruel.
More info: Reddit
Stalkers are not always creepy middle-aged men; they can also be fellow students who are 18-year-old girls
Image credits: daniellehelm (not the actual photo)
This high schooler doesn’t feel flattered that a student at his school keeps following him, taking pictures and sending him messages with her fantasies
He actually feels frustrated that none of the adults seem to care about how uncomfortable he feels
Image credits: star athena (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Lee Haywood (not the actual photo)
So when the girl skipped class to gift him a box of cupcakes he was merciless and threw it away but not before calling the girl a “creepy b***h”
Image credits: throwawaygifttrash
It did the trick as the girl ran away crying but one of the teenager’s friends called him cruel for reacting this way
The Original Poster (OP) of this story is in his last year of high school and is one step away from starting his adult life. But his last memories at school are being tainted by a girl who keeps following him around, filming him, editing photos to make it look like he’s her boyfriend and sending him messages about her fantasies about him.
That doesn’t sound appropriate, but was even more inappropriate were the dean’s and parents’ reaction. When the OP showed the messages to the dean, he didn’t take action, and his parents didn’t even understand why such behavior would creep out their son because he should be flattered by this girl’s admiration.
But there was a bit of a change in the situation a few weeks ago. The creepy girl came to the OP bringing him a box of cupcakes. It was during his lunch break, but he was sure that the girl was supposed to be in a physics lesson at that time as one of his friends went to it with her.
The OP tried not to accept the cupcakes but then thought that resisting was pointless, so he took the box and as she stepped back to leave, he cussed at her and called her creepy. Then he shook out the cupcakes into a trash can and threw away the box as well.
His reaction made the stalker cry, but she didn’t do anything more. The OP’s friends didn’t take it too seriously, except for one of them who texted him later saying that his actions were cruel and unprovoked.
People in the comments didn’t think so, because the girl had been stalking the OP and sexually harassing him for a prolonged period of time, so if the school doesn’t want to be involved, he should go to the police. Even if they don’t do anything, at least there will be a record of the girl’s behavior and will help to show a pattern in the future.
Image credits: Horosho.Gromko. (not the actual photo)
Also, people believed that if the roles were reversed, everyone would have a completely different reaction and this just shows how ignored male sexual harassment is. Of course, it doesn’t compare to the amount that women are subjected to, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen or that these men don’t matter.
According to the National Sexual Violence Center, 43 percent of men reported that in their lifetime they had experienced some form of sexual harassment. 34 percent of the time it’s verbal and 22 percent of it happens online, as was the case for the high schooler in this story. Also, the second most common place where the sexual harassment occurs is at school.
Chatham House says that the reason behind that is “under-reporting, the prioritization of women and girls, and international policy frameworks, stemming from the United Nations, that structurally discriminate against male survivors of sexual violence.”
Centre For African Justice adds, “the issue is often ignored in our society today. This is because most people do not believe that men can be assaulted due to the societal perception of power, stereotypes and masculinity and they forget that sexual assault can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, sexual orientation and gender identity.”
This is important because the effects and the emotions that men feel are the same as those other sexual harassment victims experience. Such trauma can lead to depression, lack of trust, inferiority complex, sense of blame or shame, withdrawal from relationships and friendships, it can make the victim become a perpetrator or display violence against others.
The consequences for younger people can be even more detrimental, so the lack of action from the OP’s school or parents is truly frustrating. At least he received support online and maybe it encouraged the high schooler to try reporting the girl again now that he knows he did nothing wrong.
Redditors thought that on the contrary, the high schooler underreacted and should go straight to the police with all the evidence
If the genders were switched, would so many people just shrug it off? Glad he got supportive comments.
Actually yes it would have been shrugged off if it was reversed. "Just a crush" is regularly used to minimise abnormal behaviour instead of dealing with it.
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I am concerned about what may have been in the cupcakes. As important the girl is not acting to normal social cues. She is ignoring his coldness and rejection of her gift by pushing the gift at him and doesn't seem to understand that this is not acceptable behaviour. Does she have no friends or social circles that can guide or support her? At 18 she may be very immature for her age but not without hope if she gets help now. I don't know if she has done enough for criminal charges but surely a restraining order or police interview could help scare her straight a little, along with mandatory therapy and counselling. Crushes can be overwhelming for teenage hormones but that doesn't excuse stalking behaviour and sexual harassment, she really needs help and a wake up call if it's not too late.
You're exactly right. So many of her actions have been deluded at best, and then to just scamper off refusing to listen, when he has told her in person that she needs to stop what she's doing, seems like the behaviors of a very young child. It's hard to know what is going on with her but some mental health care seems like it could be beneficial to her. It seems like a scary situation for him. I'd never make light of issues like this with my children, that's horrible.
Load More Replies... If the genders were switched, would so many people just shrug it off? Glad he got supportive comments.
Actually yes it would have been shrugged off if it was reversed. "Just a crush" is regularly used to minimise abnormal behaviour instead of dealing with it.
Load More Replies... I am concerned about what may have been in the cupcakes. As important the girl is not acting to normal social cues. She is ignoring his coldness and rejection of her gift by pushing the gift at him and doesn't seem to understand that this is not acceptable behaviour. Does she have no friends or social circles that can guide or support her? At 18 she may be very immature for her age but not without hope if she gets help now. I don't know if she has done enough for criminal charges but surely a restraining order or police interview could help scare her straight a little, along with mandatory therapy and counselling. Crushes can be overwhelming for teenage hormones but that doesn't excuse stalking behaviour and sexual harassment, she really needs help and a wake up call if it's not too late.
You're exactly right. So many of her actions have been deluded at best, and then to just scamper off refusing to listen, when he has told her in person that she needs to stop what she's doing, seems like the behaviors of a very young child. It's hard to know what is going on with her but some mental health care seems like it could be beneficial to her. It seems like a scary situation for him. I'd never make light of issues like this with my children, that's horrible.
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