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Man Refuses To Take In His Sister And His Special Needs Niece, Gets Backed By Netizens
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Parenting, People2 months ago

Man Refuses To Take In His Sister And His Special Needs Niece, Gets Backed By Netizens

Life is fragile and precious, yet also strange and occasionally downright wicked.

As handy as it might sound, there is no guidebook that will instruct you on how to live it all right. You’ll get to feel fortunate and experience all that life has to offer one day, but the following day, you’ll have to put on your best mental armor and fight off all these unexpected challenges.

The thing is, no matter how careful you are being – you’re bound to deal with consequences either way, and very rarely are those consequences pleasant. We’re all learning as we go along, and it would be tasteless of us to judge someone for doing something differently or for adhering to beliefs that are in opposition to our own.

That said, never pass judgment on another person’s life choices, and don’t expect others to deal with the responsibilities that came from your own ones.

More info: Reddit

Remember, you’re not responsible for other people’s life choices

Image credits: U.S. Army Europe (not the actual image)

AITA for telling my sister that my special needs niece is not my responsibility?” – this web user turned to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members whether he’s indeed a jerk for refusing to take his sister and special needs niece into his house so that his wife and mother-in-law can assist the woman in caring for her child. The post managed to garner over 12.4K upvotes as well as 2K comments discussing the situation.

Man ponders whether he’s indeed a jerk for refusing to help his sister care for her special needs child

Image source: u/Specialist-Author766

The author of the post said at the outset that he and his wife had discussed every detail before getting married. At first, it was silly stuff, but as their relationship progressed, they debated more serious things. For instance, how they would like to discipline their future children, living wills, and what they’d do if they discovered that they were having a kid with severe health issues.

Together, the couple agreed on a decision and established that they didn’t want to put a human through such suffering.

Long ago, before the author of the post tied the knot with his now-wife, they made sure to discuss everything

Image source: u/Specialist-Author766

Later on, when the conversation came up, he revealed his plans to his best friend, aka his sister. She immediately shared the news with their parents, saying that he and his now-wife were terrible people as they were willing to terminate a pregnancy that wasn’t going to gift them with a “perfect” kid. Even though the post’s author obviously didn’t say that and had to spend days explaining it to his family, his parents weren’t pleased.

Sadly, his sister didn’t have this talk with her husband, so when she was expecting her second child and the doctors said that it would have heaps of issues, they prayed about it and went forward with the pregnancy.

The couple agreed that if they found out that they were having a child with severe health issues, they weren’t going to bring it into the world to suffer

Image source: u/Specialist-Author766

The man’s niece is now 9 years old. And his sister is also a divorcee. The medical expenses hit hard on their savings, and the guy, allegedly, couldn’t handle the fact that he’d have to care for his daughter for the rest of her life.

The family just celebrated Thanksgiving, and it was discovered that the woman is going through a rough patch. The post’s creator’s niece is in diapers and will be until the end of her days. His sister can’t work because she would need special childcare, and no daycare offers it (or it probably costs a whopping amount of money). Prescriptions add up to hundreds if not thousands every month.

Their parents are helping, but his dad recently had to postpone his retirement just so that he could contribute. The author of the post and his spouse also help with about $500 a month, and while it’s not a crazy sum, it still leaves a gap in their budget.

His sister didn’t have this talk with her husband, so when the doctors said that her second child would have a lot of health issues, they went forward with the pregnancy

Image credits: Gareth Williams (not the actual image)

Image source: u/Specialist-Author766

It was then revealed that his sister wants to move in with him so that his wife, who works from home, and his mother-in-law, who is there to help the couple with their kids and who is essentially unrelated to the sick child, can help her out. The pair don’t have the space or the budget for that, so he told her straight that they aren’t accountable for her life choices.

However, his old folks are saying that he needs to step up and help and threatened him to give everything to his sister when they pass away. The man told them that was a great idea, as his family doesn’t want or need their money, and that they should set up a trust for her now.

The author of the post then said that, apparently, it wasn’t the answer that they’d hoped for, as everyone in the family is now making him look like the biggest jerk ever. He then revealed that he resorted to this online community to find out whether he was indeed wrong for not wanting to be in a situation he had “intentionally avoided.”

Recently, his sister asked to move in with him so that his wife, who works from home, and his MIL, who is there to help the pair with their kids and who is essentially unrelated to the sick child, can help her out

Image source: u/Specialist-Author766

Later on, when the post had gained quite a bit of attention, the man decided to edit it and add some extra commentary. It was said that his former brother-in-law is indeed paying his child and spousal support. Moreover, he still spends a lot of time with the other child. The man also stated that the woman can’t move into their parents’ house as they downsized as soon as both of them left the property.

The couple refused – however, his parents are not happy about it, and are saying that he needs to “step up and help”

Image source: u/Specialist-Author766

Image credits: Timothy Allen (not the actual image)

He also talked about his sister’s decision, claiming that it was all a religious thing. Turns out, the whole family is pretty God-fearing – however, the author of the post no longer describes himself as such. Lastly, he mentioned that his sibling receives assistance from the government and that he’s relieved that his niece’s limited brain activity prevents her from feeling all the pain that her body is going through.

Do you agree with the man’s thinking? And what would you do if you were in this situation?

Fellow community members shared their thoughts and opinions on this situation

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Piggy Tee
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so annoyed when Christians say that God will give them the child they want/can handle, then when the kid is disabled they expect the rest of society to help and get upset when they won't, saying everyone else is a bad Christian.

Helena R
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm annoyed when they pray for a miracle, then rely on science to treat their 'miracle' Hundreds of dedicated scientist, doctors nurses etc have given their lives to medical advancement, they haven't relied on a god to do it all for them

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Skull Tastic
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I WAS this sister. Daughter with severe down syndrome, ex left the state because he couldn't handle it. No siblings for me tho. I survived off her social security and rented rooms for my daughter and I. Had roommates who were my daughters paid caregivers to help pay rent. Yes she went to school, but that didnt stop me losing my jobs for absences. So stopped working so I knew we'd have health insurance. State of AX didnt assist much. Sadly my daughter passed from covid last year. My life has started over.

Tamra
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm very sorry to hear of your daughter's passing, truly. I hope for new beginnings and much healing for you.

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Hey!
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Healthy child or not, the parents' decisions to go through with the pregnancy is their own and the bringing up said child is also their own. If one of the posts is true, the sister hasn't checked all the money she can get from the government. NTA. It's the sister's and her ex's responsibility of taking care of that child. OP's wife works from home, so wouldn't have time even if she wanted to. And their children would feel left out because everyone's attention would be on the niece and that's not an option.

Skull Tastic
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im in the US. Was in Phoenix but still didnt get much assistance as far as programs she could attend etc. i feel bad for this mom, but it isnt her brothers responsibility to help raise her child. If shes getting child support, spousal support and her daughter is on disability shes bringing home enough to survive on. Assuming shes in the US. She should investigate which states offer better benefits. I wish her luck

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Piggy Tee
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so annoyed when Christians say that God will give them the child they want/can handle, then when the kid is disabled they expect the rest of society to help and get upset when they won't, saying everyone else is a bad Christian.

Helena R
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm annoyed when they pray for a miracle, then rely on science to treat their 'miracle' Hundreds of dedicated scientist, doctors nurses etc have given their lives to medical advancement, they haven't relied on a god to do it all for them

Load More Replies...
Skull Tastic
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I WAS this sister. Daughter with severe down syndrome, ex left the state because he couldn't handle it. No siblings for me tho. I survived off her social security and rented rooms for my daughter and I. Had roommates who were my daughters paid caregivers to help pay rent. Yes she went to school, but that didnt stop me losing my jobs for absences. So stopped working so I knew we'd have health insurance. State of AX didnt assist much. Sadly my daughter passed from covid last year. My life has started over.

Tamra
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm very sorry to hear of your daughter's passing, truly. I hope for new beginnings and much healing for you.

Load More Replies...
Hey!
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Healthy child or not, the parents' decisions to go through with the pregnancy is their own and the bringing up said child is also their own. If one of the posts is true, the sister hasn't checked all the money she can get from the government. NTA. It's the sister's and her ex's responsibility of taking care of that child. OP's wife works from home, so wouldn't have time even if she wanted to. And their children would feel left out because everyone's attention would be on the niece and that's not an option.

Skull Tastic
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im in the US. Was in Phoenix but still didnt get much assistance as far as programs she could attend etc. i feel bad for this mom, but it isnt her brothers responsibility to help raise her child. If shes getting child support, spousal support and her daughter is on disability shes bringing home enough to survive on. Assuming shes in the US. She should investigate which states offer better benefits. I wish her luck

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