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People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories)
Honesty isn’t always the best policy, even in long-term relationships and in marriage. How you say something, how you phrase your opinion is just as (and arguably even more) important than what you’re trying to communicate. The truth can hurt and opinions can sting if you think diplomacy is a blunt instrument.
Internet users have been compiling a huge list of all the things that husbands should never (ever, ever, ever) tell their wives over on the r/AskReddit subreddit. The thread had nearly 6k comments and over 14k upvotes at the time of writing, and it’s all the proof you need that blurting out whatever’s on our mind doesn’t always bring about the best results.
Have a read through some of the best entries in the thread, upvote the comments that you absolutely agree shouldn’t leave a guy’s mouth, and let us know what you think is essential when it comes to communication in relationships in the comments.
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#1
My dad, who doesn’t bake anything and barely cooks at all, while eating a slice of my mom’s homemade apple pie:
“You don’t cut the apples right.”
And that was the last apple pie she ever made for him. Around 40 years ago.
RELATED:
#2
When I was pregnant with my daughter, maybe ten-eleven weeks and really wacky hormonal, my ex suddenly looked up and said,
"I know! If the baby is a girl we should make it Stephanie after my one true love."
My name is 100% not Stephanie.
#3
At dinner with my parents last night, my husband said "it was so annoying when you kept throwing up when you were pregnant."
I threw up 3x a day for 20 weeks. I'm sorry it inconvenienced him so much
Earlier, I spoke with relationship and self-love coach Alex Scot about honesty, trust, and how we can distinguish between secrecy and privacy. According to Alex, it’s best to be completely honest with your loved one if the information affects them directly. We should do our best to imagine ourselves in their shoes and think about what we’d prefer, the truth or lies, in their position.
"If it can affect your partner or family, there absolutely should be transparency. Whenever in doubt, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself what you would like if you were in their situation," Alex told Bored Panda.
#4
I didn't get to try my mother's lasagna till I was twenty years old. Why? My father, in a temporary bout of insanity, whilst eating my mother's home made said to her "this is really good lasagna, but you know who makes REALLY good lasagna? My ex wife."
#5
Wasn’t my husband, but an ex of mine once told me “I see why your ex abused you” when I was suffering from mental health issues.
#6
I was modeling some new lingerie for my ex husband and asked “Do you like what you see?” In a flirty come get it kind of way. He looked up from his phone, gave me a once over and said “I’d like you to lose some weight”.
"If it wouldn’t impact them, then you have the option of keeping it to yourself. The difference between privacy and secrecy is that secrecy has a sense of shame, guilt, or knowing that your partner or family member wouldn’t be ok with whatever took place."
According to Alex, rebuilding trust takes time and effort and is a real challenge. The bigger the loss of trust, the longer it will take for someone to start believing you and feeling safe around you again.
#7
Never tell your partner they did something badly if they do something to be good to you.
If they cleaned the apartment on their day off but there was still sand on the rug in the hallway, dont point out the sand and say they missed a spot or that they did it badly.
Say that it was fantastic and you really love it, then you can say "ohh i think i pulled some sand in with me, i'll just go and dust this hallway mat" Next time when they do it they will remember the hallway mat too.
Dont criticize your partner when they are trying to make you happy, they wont do it perfectly the first time around that is ok. If you criticize your partner when they are trying to make you happy, they will stop doing it. If you tell them it was fantastic, that you loved it, they will put more effort into it because its worth it to them, because it makes you happy.
You should also tell your partner how to train you the same way, so you become someone that makes your partner happy.
Ozacoter 4 years ago (edited)
I think that it depends if the partner forgot once (then its ok) or if they refuse to do x chore. If my partner says that he "cleaned" but all he did was to put the roomba the first time I will thank him. The tenth I will be angry.
Jess Thompson 4 years ago
I would just act interested and ask what all they did - put their sneaky ass on the spot. sometimes they’re trying to score points by doing nothing. I’d rather them do nothing than lie to appease their own guilt for doing f**k all for me.
Load More Replies... D S 4 years ago
If your partner lives with you, cleaning isnt something nice he´s done for "you". You both live there, you both have exactly the same responsability to do everything in said home. Just because one of you usually does it while the other sits on their butts, doesnt mean people should be happy when their partners do a shitty job at not even doing the bare minimum................. I´d say the poster was right if they were talking about their child. If your child does something like that, be grateful and don´t point out what they did wrong. Obviously try to teach them to do better at another time but not right then..... But towards a spouse/partner?? LOL. You must be dense if you think doing a crappy clean up in the house you live in as an adult should get you any sympathy points.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
If someone does the minimum and someone else does nothing, I don't think the second person has the right to complain about the first person.
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Ryan-James O'Driscoll 4 years ago
You should be able to speak honestly with your partner without being rude. If you have to resort to this sort of trickery, something is very wrong.
Tee Witt 4 years ago
Train you? I do what housework needs doing, if my husband decides something I have not done needs doing, he damn well does it himself. Men are quite capable you know.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
If you split up the chores with him, maybe he can take over one chore and you take over one of his chores. But if you are responsible for a chore, you should do a good job at it rather than just expect the other partner to be happy with whatever minimal effort you put into it.
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Cosgrove Penfold 4 years ago
" tell your partner how to train you the same way" is this about dogs or humans? Yikes.
Amina Hays 4 years ago
1/2 I'm confused about this one. I’ll probably get downvoted a lot for saying this. Some women say things like that all the time, more often than not, say even worse things. Some women are so quick to get angry about things and chastise their partners about it, yet play the "victim" if negative things are said about themselves. I'm saying this as someone who has been in an incredibly abusive relationship.
Curry on... 4 years ago
Be sure they aren't intentionally trying to sabotage you by doing sloppy work so that you decide to "do it yourself."
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
How about when you do something once, just to be nice and help them out, then suddenly it your job and they expect you to do it forever?
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
My BF is a neat freak. I would take a whole day each week to clean top to bottom and he would go behind me and redo everything I had already done. I just stopped doing anything at home. I refuse to help with anything. I run a very successful cleaning business with 30 + homes and 8 businesses. Never once have I had a complaint, therefore I feel I am very good at it.
Amina Hays 4 years ago
3/3 the shops without people shouting horrible things at him and spitting on him. He had to move to a different town because of it. It was awful. Truly awful.
Thomas Norris 4 years ago
My comment has always been you don't like it do it yourself; end of discussion never to be had again.
Silvia John 4 years ago
Back then, my partner used to deliberately burn pizza or bread rolls in the oven and said he couldn't do it as well as I did. Just so he didn't have to do it anymore.
Deborah Hale 4 years ago
My ex was NOT sympathetic or understanding when I became disabled with chronic pain (bad spine that can't be repaired), I did what I could around the house and did most of the cooking. But every now and then he'd tell me his aunt and uncle were coming over and I needed to "take some pills" and help HIM clean the house. So I did (this was obviously before the "war on opiates" because I don't get very many pills now compared to THEN), I took a couple of Vicodin and busted my ass straightening and vacuuming, only to look around 15-20 minutes later to realize he'd gone to his bedroom (I had a separate room because I had to sleep in a hospital bed) and closed the door. He CLAIMED he was cleaning, but a) his relatives weren't going to go in his bedroom or bathroom because they were in the back of the house, and b) when I checked later he hadn't done a damn thing - he was just hiding and getting me to do all the housework, then complaining to everybody that he "did everything!"
Melia Janssen 4 years ago (edited)
My friend once told me that her husband would point out a single peck of dust or a single strand of hair on the floor after she cleaned all day. This while she cooked, cleaned and held down a 9 to 5 job all week long. She finally divorced him but took her another 10 years.
Debbie Burton 4 years ago
How do you get them to do it the right way? Hahahahaha.... to fit our towels in the cupboard they had to be folded a certain way..... after 7 yrs he still didnt get it hahahahaha
Dave 4 years ago
I was always criticised, when I was doing things for my partners, how I did not do this or that right and so on. There was always something. Even if it was done ok, just in a different way. It did not happen only in one relationship. In most of them, women loved to criticise and point out things. So down the line, I stopped doing things. Then, of course, there were always comments, why am I so distant and how I am not loving and attentive anymore. Shortly after these comments, and me telling them that when everything is constantly criticised, basically, just for the sake of criticising, I fail to see the point of doing anything, the breakup happened.
HammerzToe 4 years ago
I used to tell my kids when they were little, "never piss of the dentist when he is approaching your mouth with a drill in his hand. Don't annoy the mechanic when he has your car on his hoist."
Joyce Berman 4 years ago
My mother did that to me. I was about 8 and she was out shopping so I cleaned the kitchen sink (white) with Comet until it shined. She came home and pointed out the few places I'd missed. Never cleaned her sink again. Women can be like this as well.
Deborah Blair-Krosnicki 4 years ago
This had to be written by a man. When the person claims he tried to do something and then did it so poorly that I have to do it myself anyway, yeah, no, don't bother.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
They are talking about if the partner does something extra, not if they just do their normal chores. Why do you think it was written by a man? Do you think women never do chores poorly? Don't be sexist.
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DetongLhamo 4 years ago
Is cleaning up your communal space on the part of your partner “something good they did to you” or is it something they should just do without expectation of an ego massage?
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
No this is stupid, you don't need to be rude but you don't need to sugar-coat things to keep your partner happy, one day you will explode and it will all come out in an argument.
Brandy Grote 4 years ago
When I was injured, I was upset because I couldn't clean the house. I bemoaned the sticky floor in the kitchen. I came in one day, and saw Hub was mopping the floor. I stood there watching him. He asked "what? Am I not doing it right?" And I replied "No, you're doing it!" It made me soo happy. And he's done it again!
Amina Hays 4 years ago
2/2i It’s outrageous and it’s offensive that some women throw out the victim card so w***y nilly and with no repercussions. Other women who can also piss off are those who cry rape, as some sort of "I'll show him!" attitude. It can be life wrecking. Again, speaking as someone who has, sadly, experience of that. A friend of mine had his life ruined this way. He lived in a small-ish town where everyone knew everyone and he was in the local newspaper and they labelled him a rapist. He was finally acquitted as there was CCTV footage which showed it most certainly was NOT a rape. However, the locals still thought of him as a rapist and treated him as exactly that. He couldn’t go anywhere like his local pub or even just to the shops without people shouting horrible things at him and spitting on him. He had to move to a different town because of it. It was awful. Truly awful.
#8
I was only 23 at the time, but I once told my now ex-wife that her cooking will “never be as good as my moms, no offense though” and boy, that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever said in my life. Like, wtf was I even thinking lol
chi-wei shen 4 years ago
I've just seen a documentary about Pearl Harbor and the long war that followed. I do see some similarities.
#9
That she’s only upset because she’s PMSing. My husband knows my cycle better than I do (which isn’t saying much because I really pay no attention), and I swear he just expects me to get bitchy, so anytime I get irritated in that window of time, he acts like I’m not to be taken seriously.
For the record, I do get PMS—not severely, but I recognize when I’m getting irrationally bitchy, because I feel like I just WANT to be mad. So when I make a reasonable complaint from a rational place and it gets attributed to PMS, it’s infuriating. Like, it’s reasonable for me to get mad that you walked past a heap of cat puke 10 times today but waited for me to get home to clean it up!
“For smaller offenses, it will take less time, but for larger offenses, be prepared to be overly transparent for a time and hire a therapist or coach to walk you through the process. Trust takes consistency to rebuild and consistency equals effort over time."
#10
Not my husband, but an ex boyfriend.
I dressed up for a dinner out, feeling super cute in my new dress. So I come up to him, smiley face and all.
I didn't even asked him how I looked. Did not intend to. He just said, with a disapointed face and a lil disgusted tone:
"You really wanna know what I think about your outfit?"
He's the ex for many reasons, but this one still makes me angry when I think of it.
Liam Farranree 4 years ago
He didn't even ask what you thought of him as a man. Did not intend to. He found out anyway.
#11
“I liked your body better before you had kids” Yeah me too.
Susan Green 4 years ago
It’s too bad men can’t get pregnant, and give birth. Oh wait, if that was the case, the human population would have died out centuries ago.
#12
I once heard my stepdad say (my mom was standing right beside him) that his ex wife was a 10 in looks but a 4 in personality, but that my mom was a 4 in looks, but a 10 in personality. He thought it was a compliment. Aaaaand he still hasn't lived it down, but his story has changed over time. My mom is now a 7 in looks lmao
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Noooo, what a horrible thing to say. Here's some advice to men AND women, don't compare your partner with an ex.
#13
My wife was complaining that there was no food, said she was starving. There was, she's just picky. It got on my nerves a bit and I said..
"Well you don't look like your starving"
Don't ever say that
#14
My husband once said “I married my mother”, and I’m still plotting his death.
#15
You look better with less weight! You were more relaxed before we had kids. We have 3 kids 5 and under, the eldest most likely has ASD, sensory processing disorder, ADHD and still doesn't sleep. Sorry I'm not as carefree as before.
Susan Green 4 years ago (edited)
Tell him that he would look better with his big mouth duct taped shut.
#16
Until you know how she feels about how something looks, don’t comment.
My mum bought a dress I thought she looked really good in, she liked it too. She tried it on in front of my dad and he said he didn’t like it. All the happiness drained from her face, she got changed, handed me the dress and said it was mine now. I tried to convince her how nice she looked but nothing changed her mind, a back handed comment from dad (I don’t even think he really looked) changed her whole perspective
#17
This is to everyone with a significant other that is a female. Saying things like “calm down” “you’re being crazy right now” or “it’s not that big of a deal” is a sure fire way to get us angry, it feels almost hard wired.
A.M. Pierre 4 years ago
If you tell someone "calm down" or any of these things, what that person usually hears is "you shouldn't be getting upset"/"you don't have the right to be upset" or, essentially, "your feelings are wrong". I'm not saying everyone who says these phrases means that, but the phrases imply that. Given that, historically, women's feelings have been downplayed or dismissed far more often than men's, it can touch a nerve.
#18
Don't tell them an ex's gift (or an ex's anything for that matter) was better than yours. At my partner's last birthday dinner him mom asked what the best gift he'd ever gotten was. He immediately said "oh insert ex gf name who I was with for a really long time got me these awesome custom Marvel Vans like five years ago! I don't think anything has topped that." and he gushed about it for a good five minutes. It absolutely hurt cause I had just bought him a really expensive gift I knew he'd been wanting for a while. So yeah don't do that.
#19
An ex once told me he loved me almost as much as the ex that broke his heart. He continued to update me as I got closer to “that mark” and finally once I surpassed that mark. I was young and naïve and he was my first bf. I dumped him, am married now, and I think he’s still sulking around wondering why nobody falls for him.
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
I hope you're very happy now that you're married to someone better! <3
#20
Don't ever bring up how attractive she was before kids. This guy I worked with would say that all the time. Holy shit don't say stuff like that. Do you want to get murdered in your sleep for being an insufferable dickhead?
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Again, this is your wife. You’re supposed to love her. You’re NOT supposed to shoot her down like that, especially when she’s probably already hypercritical of herself. All you’re doing is piling your own bullshit on top of it. She’s given birth to children you BOTH made, which took a physical toll on her that would kill any man. So either tell her she’s beautiful or shut the f**k up.
#21
Never tell your wife something designed to hurt her out of anger. You live with her and know what will hurt her the most, don’t weaponize it. Never say something that implies you find someone else more attractive. Some relationships you can acknowledge someone else is good looking. Some you can’t. But either way, your words should never state or openly imply someone else is MORE attractive. Never talk harshly about the people she’s close to. You can carefully express annoyance about her friends or family, but don’t be petty or hateful towards them directly or in her presence. Never blame her mood on her period. A woman’s mood may be exaggerated (sometimes a lot) by hormones, but the feelings are very much real and any implication that it’s all about her period is dismissive.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Nasty s**t like that can’t be unheard once it’s been said. Great way to sabotage the good thing you have, but sure do not deserve, asshole.
#22
Dad was drunk one night when i was 16 and said to mum that she was a fat fucking cow and wished she didn't get that surgery as it made her who she is today. She had breast cancer and had to have surgery to get rid of it, she had a tissue expansion which made her d's become e's for a period of time and dad hated it.
#23
“Trust me woman, I know what I’m talking about. I’m 100% positive on this.” Welp, 5 minutes later after a Google search she showed me, with a mischievous smile, I was in fact, wrong. Fuck.
#24
My ex boyfriend told me he was "glad my boobs weren't any smaller than they already were" and that my boobs were "too far apart". Cue the complex about my boobs I never had before that comment
Agfox 4 years ago
I used to work with a woman who told me that when she first met the guy whom she later married, one of the first things he said to her was 'I have a joke that will make you laugh your tits off - oh, I see you've already heard it". My first thought was why would you even want to see him again let alone marry him
#25
Wow your sister maintained her figure really well after their kid was born.
M Calad 4 years ago (edited)
This reminded me of a friend whose husband used to compare her with me 🤦. "You should do like *me*, she works out and keeps herself well", "see *me*? She is applying to study. You should do the same". It was so awkward and embarrassing. I knew he wanted to motivate her and set me as an example but his method was totally wrong making her feel below me. She stopped being my friend because of that.
#26
First time I ever tried shepherds pie made by my mum was a few days ago when I (33) was visiting for dinner. Why do you ask? He told her just after they were married (a man who can’t cook mind you) that it’s not the way his mum makes it. It was so damned delicious too!!!!
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
My friend's 50+ year old husband still does that. I have no idea why she puts up with him other than she is afraid of being alone when she is old
#27
"I like more athletic looking women" like an Allison Stokke type. I work full time, I'm in college full time, and I take care of our daughter most of the time. I don't have time for the gym and I don't look that terrible. I'm 5'7 135lbs with a little tummy squish bfd
#28
Probably shouldn't tell her that since he was unable to get the person he was most attracted to, he got you instead. That leaves a pretty lasting impression.
#29
Once had a partner tell me that I "Have a forehead you could lay a mattress on" I used to style my hair with a part down the middle, but after that I made sure to get bangs and am super obsessive about moving my hair to cover my forehead. I was bullied a lot in school, so I had a lot of self consciousness about other bits of my appearance, but the forehead thing was news to me at the time.
#30
That the best sex he ever had wasn't with her
#32
We had a baby two weeks ago. The night after labor, while sitting with our boy. I told her I'm tired. Should not have said that. I apologize.
Dorothy Parker 4 years ago
That's not bad at all. They didn't say they were more tired than the new mother.
#33
My bf went to jail for a few months some years back. I was hella depressed when he was gone, and self medicated with food and alcohol. I would visit him every Sunday with his mom. When he got out, he got drunk one night and told me. “Every week when you came to visit, I always though….man she’s getting bigger!” Didn’t need to know that.
#34
My ex boyfriend used to repeat every day that I was way prettier when we met.
#35
That she behaves like her mother.
chi-wei shen 4 years ago
I think a husband who makes such a statement is fully aware of the fact that they will get into a fight.
#36
Never introduce her as “my first wife” even as a joke.
ThoughtsAreNotFacts 4 years ago
Ooh, yeah no. Don't do that! It'll be a self fulfilling prophecy
#37
When I asked how I looked to my partner (after getting all dressed up), he glanced up and down, shrugged his shoulders and remarked “you look just like every other mother at the school gate”. The unfortunate fact is that many mothers at ‘the school gate’ where I live, have sadly not taken care of themselves for whatever reasons. I’m not judging them, most happen to be incredibly lovely ladies! Sometimes life happens. But this comment hurt me to no end when I make consistent effort and look better than I did many years ago. It was unbelievably hurtful. Men, if you don’t have anything good (or at least constructively helpful) to say to your wife, either smile and nod or keep quiet altogether.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
If you married someone, you support them. You make them feel good about themselves. What trash ego could you have to knock someone down that is married to you? if you do that, you are a mother f**k.
#38
I told my then GF, now wife: "you dance like a white girl." (she is) We never went to another club again. And now I'm sad again.
#39
You were more fun before we got married.
#40
My brother was in with my SIL when she was getting a c-section. He looked behind the curtain at her guts all open and came back around and just blurted out "you look awful". Lol the nurse was like "you can't say that!" I mean it probably does look awful when someone is cut open.
#41
"I don't know if I love you yet" or "you're not hot enough to have an attitude like that"
#42
I’m currently 8 months pregnant and a couple days ago my husband, thinking he was being cute, said “get over here big body” while pulling me close to cuddle. I’ve never got out of bed so fast. So yeah, don’t say that.
#43
I didn’t have enchiladas until I was 7 because when my parents first married my dad said they were different than his mom’s.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
So.... He said they were different. Not gross, nor weird, not terrible. Just different. Not that big of a deal in my opinion.
#44
“This hot new girl just started at the office” My bf’s business partner learned that the hard way.
Amina Hays 4 years ago
I'm a bit confused <easily done!) :-D What do you mean by his business partner found out the hard way? Sorry, I'm autistic and need some things explained to me, especially if there's an undertone to it.
#45
That you don't have to be attracted to someone to get married to them or that you regret marrying them. (Girlfriend's dad said this in front of his wife and kids)
What do you think ?
lenka 4 years ago
Most of these are about how women dont look as good after marriage, kids and the passage of time. Perhaps its about time we started pointing out how men grow a gut, loose muscle tone and start sagging in all the wrong places. How they also wrinkle and go grey and get bald. Why are women accused of 'letting themselves go' when men arn't exactly the studs they were in thier 20s. In most of these comments, the appropriate response is, looked in a mirror lately?
Caro Caro 4 years ago
I stopped reading these posts because the cruelty got me all pissed off! What is wrong with these men?
Davor Jelacic 4 years ago
Most of these people are psychopaths. Not chainsaw slaughter psychopaths, but still...
Donna Shaw 4 years ago
When my husband and I were first married I asked him if he would please take off his socks right side out so that I wouldn't have to stick my hand inside his stinky, disgusting socks (he was a mechanic). He said "I never asked you to do my laundry"! And I never did his laundry, never, ever again! ;)
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
My father is the youngest of seven kids, so I have 27 first cousins. My two siblings are adopted, I am not. Mom couldn't have more kids after me. This will all make sense, I promise. ...///... We were at a family dinner, when my father pointed at my brother and sister and said, "I know those are mine, I've got papers to prove it". ...///... Then he pointed at me (in front of 16 adults and about 25 kids) and said, "I don't know where the hell that one came from." ...///... That was when I was about 12. From that day on, I never spoke to him directly again. He died when I was in my mid 30s.
Memere 4 years ago
I'm so sorry for the pain that has caused you, I know it too well myself. I was around 13-14 when my father had spent an hour chewing me out for something I had got in trouble for at school, when he told me to my face "I wish you had never been born, I never wanted you anyway", then stomped out of the room. I'm almost 70 now, and I cannot remember him ever telling me to my face that he loved me or that he was proud of me for anything. He died alone in a Veterans Home.
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Ola Polowczyk 4 years ago
My ex once told me that "I smile too widely" and "Show too much teeth when smiling" and that "I should practice it"
Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago
What an odd thing to say?!? Smiling is the absolute BEST thing anyone can do. Strange what men request, I had an ex who my daughter loved so much she called him "Jeffy weffy". He got so angry - told me that I bought my child into our relationship and I need to control her (to show him respect). I said I bought him into our relationship and she could call him a lot worse. Just imagine how hard life is for men like this who want to control everything in their life. They will always be miserable
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Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Hubby to me while I was curled up in agony with monthly cramps, about 30 years ago: "You make cute whimpers when you're in pain." I'm sure he meant well. I'm also sure I feel absolutely zero remorse for my reaction, and he never said it again. :-)
Memere 4 years ago
My husband, maybe 20 years ago, once tried to compare menstrual pain, pregnancy discomfort, & labor/delivery pain to some of the pain he had felt over the years from sports injuries. That got him a shut down I don't think he's ever experienced in his life, and yeah - he's never tried that again!
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Kuromi 4 years ago
My ex once complained about a meal I made, that I cut the chicken wrong as the instructions stated cubed and I didn't cube the chicken correctly in his opinion. He then also commented that my lasagna had too much sauce. This was a guy who didn't cook and would expect me to cook his dinner after he's been home all day and I've been at work for 14 hours. I don't regret leaving his critical, opinionated, condescending ass.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I think a lot of these men are suffering the same disease, foot in mouth.
Mazer 4 years ago
Get a crisp new sheet of paper, now crumple it up and then try to make it smooth again. Words can cause people serious harm. Some carry those words like the crumpled paper carries the marks of being crumpled. The singer Karen Carpenter is an example, off handed remarks by one person ended up costing her years of agony and eventually lead to her death. Think before you talk or type to anyone, be it a customer service person or your SO.
Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago
Wow that's an amazing analogy!! I love it and agree. There is something called cognitive behavioral therapy that will help to stop that piece of paper from getting too crumpled in the first place. You can't control what another person says. So if someone says something nasty or thoughtless it reflects more on them as a person, than you. I'd say almost all of the time, a nasty comment brushes past me. If anything I feel for the person saying it rather than taking it on personally. Takes years to learn this but great when you do
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Sandy Bergeson 4 years ago
My ex said after I lost 25 lbs "You look good. I couldn't believe you let yourself look that way for so long."
Patti Vance 4 years ago
one of the worst comments from my ex was the best thing he did for me. he started attending college & began treating me like i was an idiot bc of his getting a higher education. pissed me off so bad i had a garage sale for first semester tuition & worked my ass off for scholarships/grants for rest of the time. made deans list ever semester; graduated w/3.94 (damn that A- in political science!), as well as graduated w/highest award presented to graduating student. and, bc i took summer/extra classes, did it one year earlier. him? took shortened classes w/little more than average grades for what i called a 'mc degree' as it was through a military program designed to get a degree to increase educational levels in the military.
Solidhog 4 years ago
While my wife was giving birth and pushing down hard in pain....... "Oi! Your stretching my t-shirt." To be fair, just before that the doctor said if things did not move quicker they would have to cut her and help the baby out. As the doctor left she looked me in the eyes (I swear they glowed red!) and said "IF SHE COMES BACK IN THIS ROOM YOU PUNCH HER!"
Ray Heap 4 years ago (edited)
I read all this and raise you: During the birth of my daughter the midwife told me to lay down next to my wife to give her comfort during labour. I had had a long day and it was middle of the night... next thing I know was a kick in the ribs from midwife and a rather gruff voice telling me that the baby was coming. My, by now very much ex wife, likes to bring this up from time to time.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
I've never heard of a husband lying down next to a wife in labor. It's weird that the hospital suggested that.
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Tangee Wilson 4 years ago
1. My sister died of an aneurysm back in 1992. Ex husband says “do we have to go to the funeral? You weren’t that close”. My parents were in our living room and had just arrived for a short cruise. We were in FL, they flew in from MD. 2. No I don’t want to ruin my day off and go with you to the doctor. 30 min later doc says tests came back and it was likely a blood cancer. Went home, called my family, my father in law and waited long time before I gave him the news. Also, this was the beginning of the end with him. I’d had enough of being ignored and taken for granted. 3. Asked for divorce when I was finished with treatments. He replied “don’t think I’m paying child support. Those aren’t my kids”. We adopted them, together.” Once over the initial pain and shock, he did triple what the state would have asked. He co parented and took care of all their expenses. They were 14 and 16 yo girls. They were expensive and he stepped up freely. Great dad, not so great spouse.
KT 4 years ago
To me, In a lot of these comments you can tell how much men have been obsessed with a pornographic view on life. You can tell how it has damaged their views on women and what is even acceptable to think or say it's disgusting
Huddo's sister 4 years ago
Yep. I'm constantly saying it- we need more teaching of healthy relationships in school. Plus positive modelling by parents. If it's a toxic relationship, get out. Don't let the kids see you putting up with things like that.
Load More Replies... Lovin' Life 4 years ago
How can people be so cruel? Of course we change over the years. And comparing someone to an ex...just wow! Maybe think before you speak.
Yep. Yep. Yep. 4 years ago
The last one is funny to me because he told me I was acting like my mother one day for something he didn't do that really wasn't a big deal and I cried because I was acting like her. Totally changed my outlook on how I behaved towards him.
Doris Bennett 4 years ago
My now-ex husband once said: 1. "Extra weight never hurts men's prospects, but it destroys a woman's." He was heavy at the time, not me. #2. HE was invited to his high school reunion and he said I couldn't go with him because, "you're not invited!" #3. He would cut off a discussion by yelling "END OF SUBJECT!" #4. When I was younger and still attractive ... I asked him if he thought I was sexy? He said "NO ... you're not that type!" He was hurtful, immature and spoiled, It took me 30 hard years to realize that.
Annette Easton 4 years ago
My ex MIL always hated me. Just straight up hated me. Fortunately for me we lived many hours away from the inlaws. I've battled my weight most of my life and have yo-yo'd up and down. The one and only time my inlaws came to visit us my MIL very kindly told me that she'd decided that I wasn't FAT, I was just retaining a lot of water and she'd been looking into herbal remedies for it. A few days later she changed her mind and told me that I WAS fat after all, but it wasn't my fault it was because I had low self esteem. I was not impressed. When I told this to my ex, expecting him to be as outraged as I was, he said "Well, she's not wrong."
Totally legit 4 years ago
I had an ex who used to make weird faces when I made jokes, and said that women can't be funny...
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
So are we going to get a list of things that women shouldn't say to their husbands?
LolaInTheDesert 4 years ago
Ex long-time boyfriend went home to visit his family. Came back and wanted to talk about our future. “All my friends are getting married and starting families. I want that too. So I think we should get married if you lose 10 pounds”. We met in the USMC. I was quite fit, thank you very much. It broke my heart because I knew it couldn’t be about my weight.
KT 4 years ago
that must have broke your heart :( I'm so sorry you had to go through that
Load More Replies...
Catherine Spencer-Mills 4 years ago
My favorite: If you don't like how I do , do it yourself. Either way, I win. "That's okay, you are going fine." and the griping stops. Or, my oldest son took over laundry and ironed his own clothes because he didn't like how I was doing it. Win!
SBW71 4 years ago
Ladies whenever your man says something derogatory about your looks, weight, attitude or whatever usually just say back "Really? I don't hear anyone else complaining but you. Maybe your the one with the problem(s) not me". Works every time to shut them up. Makes them think.
Huddo's sister 4 years ago
Isn't that as intentionally cruel? If you are going to say something it should be truthful and assertive, not passive aggressive. Don't let them get away with it but also don't make it into a one-upping situation.
Load More Replies... Zak Rasten 4 years ago
Humans should live two lives. At the end of the first life go into a chrysalis, then later emerge - with all memories intact - for the second life - as a member of the opposite sex to the first life
Mark Fuller 4 years ago
Can we perhaps start a post about all the vicious, vile, bitchy things that woman have said to their husbands?? Just to even out the score a little and quit the tedious, "all men are bastards" line that Bored Panda seems to promote a tad too often?!
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
I agree with your point, Mark, but I didn't read this article from an "all men" perspective. These are just some men. And I have no issue with your suggestion either, and second it; there should be equal time. The more we speak to one another, the more we understand one another.
Load More Replies...
Full Name 4 years ago (edited)
Can we please stop ignoring how 95% of the stories on this page that have to do with horrible/unacceptable/ignorant/shocking behavior are about men?
Tina Hugh 4 years ago
Yeah, someone's gonna start a post that focuses on women's bad behavior
Load More Replies...
BastWren 4 years ago
Seriously, Ryan, there is no need for you to continue commenting like this; we get it...you have no understanding of women.
Load More Replies...
lenka 4 years ago
Most of these are about how women dont look as good after marriage, kids and the passage of time. Perhaps its about time we started pointing out how men grow a gut, loose muscle tone and start sagging in all the wrong places. How they also wrinkle and go grey and get bald. Why are women accused of 'letting themselves go' when men arn't exactly the studs they were in thier 20s. In most of these comments, the appropriate response is, looked in a mirror lately?
Caro Caro 4 years ago
I stopped reading these posts because the cruelty got me all pissed off! What is wrong with these men?
Davor Jelacic 4 years ago
Most of these people are psychopaths. Not chainsaw slaughter psychopaths, but still...
Donna Shaw 4 years ago
When my husband and I were first married I asked him if he would please take off his socks right side out so that I wouldn't have to stick my hand inside his stinky, disgusting socks (he was a mechanic). He said "I never asked you to do my laundry"! And I never did his laundry, never, ever again! ;)
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
My father is the youngest of seven kids, so I have 27 first cousins. My two siblings are adopted, I am not. Mom couldn't have more kids after me. This will all make sense, I promise. ...///... We were at a family dinner, when my father pointed at my brother and sister and said, "I know those are mine, I've got papers to prove it". ...///... Then he pointed at me (in front of 16 adults and about 25 kids) and said, "I don't know where the hell that one came from." ...///... That was when I was about 12. From that day on, I never spoke to him directly again. He died when I was in my mid 30s.
Memere 4 years ago
I'm so sorry for the pain that has caused you, I know it too well myself. I was around 13-14 when my father had spent an hour chewing me out for something I had got in trouble for at school, when he told me to my face "I wish you had never been born, I never wanted you anyway", then stomped out of the room. I'm almost 70 now, and I cannot remember him ever telling me to my face that he loved me or that he was proud of me for anything. He died alone in a Veterans Home.
Load More Replies... Ola Polowczyk 4 years ago
My ex once told me that "I smile too widely" and "Show too much teeth when smiling" and that "I should practice it"
Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago
What an odd thing to say?!? Smiling is the absolute BEST thing anyone can do. Strange what men request, I had an ex who my daughter loved so much she called him "Jeffy weffy". He got so angry - told me that I bought my child into our relationship and I need to control her (to show him respect). I said I bought him into our relationship and she could call him a lot worse. Just imagine how hard life is for men like this who want to control everything in their life. They will always be miserable
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Hubby to me while I was curled up in agony with monthly cramps, about 30 years ago: "You make cute whimpers when you're in pain." I'm sure he meant well. I'm also sure I feel absolutely zero remorse for my reaction, and he never said it again. :-)
Memere 4 years ago
My husband, maybe 20 years ago, once tried to compare menstrual pain, pregnancy discomfort, & labor/delivery pain to some of the pain he had felt over the years from sports injuries. That got him a shut down I don't think he's ever experienced in his life, and yeah - he's never tried that again!
Load More Replies... Kuromi 4 years ago
My ex once complained about a meal I made, that I cut the chicken wrong as the instructions stated cubed and I didn't cube the chicken correctly in his opinion. He then also commented that my lasagna had too much sauce. This was a guy who didn't cook and would expect me to cook his dinner after he's been home all day and I've been at work for 14 hours. I don't regret leaving his critical, opinionated, condescending ass.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I think a lot of these men are suffering the same disease, foot in mouth.
Mazer 4 years ago
Get a crisp new sheet of paper, now crumple it up and then try to make it smooth again. Words can cause people serious harm. Some carry those words like the crumpled paper carries the marks of being crumpled. The singer Karen Carpenter is an example, off handed remarks by one person ended up costing her years of agony and eventually lead to her death. Think before you talk or type to anyone, be it a customer service person or your SO.
Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago
Wow that's an amazing analogy!! I love it and agree. There is something called cognitive behavioral therapy that will help to stop that piece of paper from getting too crumpled in the first place. You can't control what another person says. So if someone says something nasty or thoughtless it reflects more on them as a person, than you. I'd say almost all of the time, a nasty comment brushes past me. If anything I feel for the person saying it rather than taking it on personally. Takes years to learn this but great when you do
Load More Replies... Sandy Bergeson 4 years ago
My ex said after I lost 25 lbs "You look good. I couldn't believe you let yourself look that way for so long."
Patti Vance 4 years ago
one of the worst comments from my ex was the best thing he did for me. he started attending college & began treating me like i was an idiot bc of his getting a higher education. pissed me off so bad i had a garage sale for first semester tuition & worked my ass off for scholarships/grants for rest of the time. made deans list ever semester; graduated w/3.94 (damn that A- in political science!), as well as graduated w/highest award presented to graduating student. and, bc i took summer/extra classes, did it one year earlier. him? took shortened classes w/little more than average grades for what i called a 'mc degree' as it was through a military program designed to get a degree to increase educational levels in the military.
Solidhog 4 years ago
While my wife was giving birth and pushing down hard in pain....... "Oi! Your stretching my t-shirt." To be fair, just before that the doctor said if things did not move quicker they would have to cut her and help the baby out. As the doctor left she looked me in the eyes (I swear they glowed red!) and said "IF SHE COMES BACK IN THIS ROOM YOU PUNCH HER!"
Ray Heap 4 years ago (edited)
I read all this and raise you: During the birth of my daughter the midwife told me to lay down next to my wife to give her comfort during labour. I had had a long day and it was middle of the night... next thing I know was a kick in the ribs from midwife and a rather gruff voice telling me that the baby was coming. My, by now very much ex wife, likes to bring this up from time to time.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
I've never heard of a husband lying down next to a wife in labor. It's weird that the hospital suggested that.
Load More Replies... Tangee Wilson 4 years ago
1. My sister died of an aneurysm back in 1992. Ex husband says “do we have to go to the funeral? You weren’t that close”. My parents were in our living room and had just arrived for a short cruise. We were in FL, they flew in from MD. 2. No I don’t want to ruin my day off and go with you to the doctor. 30 min later doc says tests came back and it was likely a blood cancer. Went home, called my family, my father in law and waited long time before I gave him the news. Also, this was the beginning of the end with him. I’d had enough of being ignored and taken for granted. 3. Asked for divorce when I was finished with treatments. He replied “don’t think I’m paying child support. Those aren’t my kids”. We adopted them, together.” Once over the initial pain and shock, he did triple what the state would have asked. He co parented and took care of all their expenses. They were 14 and 16 yo girls. They were expensive and he stepped up freely. Great dad, not so great spouse.
KT 4 years ago
To me, In a lot of these comments you can tell how much men have been obsessed with a pornographic view on life. You can tell how it has damaged their views on women and what is even acceptable to think or say it's disgusting
Huddo's sister 4 years ago
Yep. I'm constantly saying it- we need more teaching of healthy relationships in school. Plus positive modelling by parents. If it's a toxic relationship, get out. Don't let the kids see you putting up with things like that.
Load More Replies... Lovin' Life 4 years ago
How can people be so cruel? Of course we change over the years. And comparing someone to an ex...just wow! Maybe think before you speak.
Yep. Yep. Yep. 4 years ago
The last one is funny to me because he told me I was acting like my mother one day for something he didn't do that really wasn't a big deal and I cried because I was acting like her. Totally changed my outlook on how I behaved towards him.
Doris Bennett 4 years ago
My now-ex husband once said: 1. "Extra weight never hurts men's prospects, but it destroys a woman's." He was heavy at the time, not me. #2. HE was invited to his high school reunion and he said I couldn't go with him because, "you're not invited!" #3. He would cut off a discussion by yelling "END OF SUBJECT!" #4. When I was younger and still attractive ... I asked him if he thought I was sexy? He said "NO ... you're not that type!" He was hurtful, immature and spoiled, It took me 30 hard years to realize that.
Annette Easton 4 years ago
My ex MIL always hated me. Just straight up hated me. Fortunately for me we lived many hours away from the inlaws. I've battled my weight most of my life and have yo-yo'd up and down. The one and only time my inlaws came to visit us my MIL very kindly told me that she'd decided that I wasn't FAT, I was just retaining a lot of water and she'd been looking into herbal remedies for it. A few days later she changed her mind and told me that I WAS fat after all, but it wasn't my fault it was because I had low self esteem. I was not impressed. When I told this to my ex, expecting him to be as outraged as I was, he said "Well, she's not wrong."
Totally legit 4 years ago
I had an ex who used to make weird faces when I made jokes, and said that women can't be funny...
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
So are we going to get a list of things that women shouldn't say to their husbands?
LolaInTheDesert 4 years ago
Ex long-time boyfriend went home to visit his family. Came back and wanted to talk about our future. “All my friends are getting married and starting families. I want that too. So I think we should get married if you lose 10 pounds”. We met in the USMC. I was quite fit, thank you very much. It broke my heart because I knew it couldn’t be about my weight.
KT 4 years ago
that must have broke your heart :( I'm so sorry you had to go through that
Load More Replies... Catherine Spencer-Mills 4 years ago
My favorite: If you don't like how I do , do it yourself. Either way, I win. "That's okay, you are going fine." and the griping stops. Or, my oldest son took over laundry and ironed his own clothes because he didn't like how I was doing it. Win!
SBW71 4 years ago
Ladies whenever your man says something derogatory about your looks, weight, attitude or whatever usually just say back "Really? I don't hear anyone else complaining but you. Maybe your the one with the problem(s) not me". Works every time to shut them up. Makes them think.
Huddo's sister 4 years ago
Isn't that as intentionally cruel? If you are going to say something it should be truthful and assertive, not passive aggressive. Don't let them get away with it but also don't make it into a one-upping situation.
Load More Replies... Zak Rasten 4 years ago
Humans should live two lives. At the end of the first life go into a chrysalis, then later emerge - with all memories intact - for the second life - as a member of the opposite sex to the first life
Mark Fuller 4 years ago
Can we perhaps start a post about all the vicious, vile, bitchy things that woman have said to their husbands?? Just to even out the score a little and quit the tedious, "all men are bastards" line that Bored Panda seems to promote a tad too often?!
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
I agree with your point, Mark, but I didn't read this article from an "all men" perspective. These are just some men. And I have no issue with your suggestion either, and second it; there should be equal time. The more we speak to one another, the more we understand one another.
Load More Replies... Full Name 4 years ago (edited)
Can we please stop ignoring how 95% of the stories on this page that have to do with horrible/unacceptable/ignorant/shocking behavior are about men?
Tina Hugh 4 years ago
Yeah, someone's gonna start a post that focuses on women's bad behavior
Load More Replies... BastWren 4 years ago
Seriously, Ryan, there is no need for you to continue commenting like this; we get it...you have no understanding of women.
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