I’m 11 years old, and I love to read books. I also love trying to write them. I have a lot of ideas, here’s one I’m not too sure about. Down below are 2 screenshots of the introduction to the book. The title of it is Hearts. Please tell me if you like it so far, or if you have any ideas! I love feedback and constructive criticism!
Never post your original writing on the internet where someone can steal it. Join a writers group in your town or city. Take some classes.
some thoughts/questions on your material: (1)You lost me at "reclaimed what was theirs". The Infected are still (Enorians?), even if they are no longer the same as they were before. (2) this disease is going to get compared to AIDS, and I'm not sure if you fully understand the history of that. (3) how do the Infected survive underground? How were they subdued? How do the "good" Enorians live with the decision to essentially imprison their sick brethren in presumably a damp cave system? Do the other kingdoms also dump their Infected there? Who governs the "good" Enorians now? (4) are any animals susceptible to the Infection? How were they effected, if so?
Never post your original writing on the internet where someone can steal it. Join a writers group in your town or city. Take some classes.
some thoughts/questions on your material: (1)You lost me at "reclaimed what was theirs". The Infected are still (Enorians?), even if they are no longer the same as they were before. (2) this disease is going to get compared to AIDS, and I'm not sure if you fully understand the history of that. (3) how do the Infected survive underground? How were they subdued? How do the "good" Enorians live with the decision to essentially imprison their sick brethren in presumably a damp cave system? Do the other kingdoms also dump their Infected there? Who governs the "good" Enorians now? (4) are any animals susceptible to the Infection? How were they effected, if so?
2
2