“[Am I The Jerk] For Snitching And Causing My Friend To Lose Her Scholarship/Dream College Acceptance?”

The last years of high school are pretty stressful because students feel the pressure to choose what they want to do with their lives after, they need to apply to colleges, they have to study hard for their final exams, and some of them may also have jobs, so it’s not easy to juggle all of that.

During this time, help is always appreciated, even if you are certain of the path you want to take. This woman’s friend wanted a hand while writing an essay for her college application and she gladly provided it, but later realized that she had been taken advantage of. Her reaction cost the friend a scholarship and she wanted confirmation that she did the right thing.

More info: Reddit

College admission essays are hard to write, but it’s better to do it yourself as it can cost you the spot if the truth comes out

Image credits: Tom Thai (not the actual photo)

The Original Poster (OP) has a friend a year younger than her who is in high school and is now applying for colleges. As she went through the process herself already and now is in her sophomore year, she shared her experience.

The woman was happy that her friend was actually accepted to the college she wanted to go to the most and was granted a full scholarship. But it seems that the way she managed to do that wasn’t very honest.

Turns out, she plagiarized OP’s college essay that she had sent her friend as an example of structure and techniques. The older friend found it out through a mutual friend who showed her the essay the high schooler sent out and realized that it was the one she put her whole heart into and applied with as well and barely any changes were made to personalize it.

It could very well be that the essay was what brought the friend the acceptance and the scholarship, because if there is a limited number of spots and all of them have the same grades, the essay is the deciding factor.

The author of the story had a friend who was still in high school and was applying to colleges, so seeing that she was successfully admitted, she helped the friend

Image credits: u/jhhn-

In a fury, the OP gathered the evidence and sent it out to the college. Their reaction was severe as they not only canceled the scholarship but kicked the friend out altogether.

People started finding out what happened and they were pretty disappointed in the OP for shattering her friend’s dreams as she would have been the first person in her family to go to college.

Despite feeling terrible for being used, the OP still felt bad for her friend, especially because she never expected such an outcome. And with the people in her real life shaming her when she feels that the rules were on her side, she wanted to know if what her actions caused was too much for what she suffered.

The friend got admitted to her top choice and was also granted a scholarship

Image credits: u/jhhn-

People in the comments had a very interesting discussion as they looked at the situation from various angles. Firstly, they collectively agreed that the OP wasn’t the bad guy. Her friend was the one who broke the rules, so she had to face the consequences.

They also believed that if she couldn’t even write her own essay, then she wouldn’t have lasted long either way. But a valid point was made that in these essays, people lie a lot anyway, just like in job applications, to make themselves look better.

While they agreed that the friend acted immorally, some people were confused by the OP’s actions as well. They wondered what she thought would happen when she provided the school with concrete evidence that someone used plagiarism as a way to get into college when it is considered as a serious offense in academia.

On one hand, people argued that the OP’s friend didn’t deserve the spot because she didn’t achieve her goal by only her own effort; on the other hand, the essay isn’t the only thing that determines acceptance so it means that she did work for it in other aspects.

While talking to a mutual friend, the older friend got to read the application essay the high schooler sent out and turns out she wasn’t the one who wrote it

Image credits: u/jhhn-

So let’s look at what colleges take into consideration when they are evaluating candidates. According to College Vine, “At the top 250 schools, your essays generally account for 25% of your overall application. This is only slightly behind the 30% for extracurriculars. Essays are actually ahead of 20% for grades and coursework, 15% for test scores, and 10% for recommendations and interviews.”

So it could be that the essay helped the college to decide whether to accept OP’s friend or not, but it could also be that she excelled in everything else and her own words would have been enough to get her in.

Depending on how competitive the college is, essays can actually be the deciding factor, according to Scribbr, because “most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurriculars” in such colleges.

The woman recognized it as her own that she sent to her friend as an example and was hurt to know she took advantage of her kindness

Image credits: u/jhhn-

Essays are scary because while you know what your grades and test results are supposed to be and what extracurriculars will help show you off in the best light, the essays have a very abstract description of what they are and there isn’t just one format that is better than others.

Scribbr says that college essays help admission officers to “evaluate your character, writing skills, and ability to self-reflect. The essay is your chance to show what you will add to the academic community.”

If we look at what US News found out when consulting experts, it makes the essay look even more confusing: “students should narrow their focus and write about a specific experience, hobby or quirk that reveals something personal, like how they think, what they value or what their strengths are. Students can also write about something that illustrates an aspect of their background.”

It should be a story giving a glimpse into a person’s inside world and mentions that trying to impress the admissions officers with major life achievements doesn’t work as the most memorable essays they’ve read were on “ordinary topics, including fly-fishing, a student’s commute to and from school and a family’s dining room table.”

Acting out of rage, the woman collected evidence and presented it to the school, which resulted in the friend getting her scholarship and invitation revoked

Image credits: u/jhhn-

These severe actions weren’t what the woman expected, so now she feels bad for ruining her friend’s dream

Image credits: Mike Mantin (not the actual photo)

It’s pretty clear that the college essay is a nightmare and a headache. You don’t know where to start or to finish and what you want the college to know about you. At that age, you don’t really know who you are, so that makes presenting yourself in an unconventional way even more challenging.

But is it worth stealing an essay from someone else? Especially a friend who tried to help you and supported you in your journey? Also, is it such a huge betrayal that it was worth sabotaging a friend’s education? Join in the conversation in the comments.

The feeling was amplified by others calling her reaction dramatic but redditors reassured the woman that the friend has to deal with the consequences of her actions

Image credits: Jason Tong (not the actual photo)

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