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Woman Hides Her Unborn Baby’s Name From Copycat Sister Who Stole Her Last Two Baby Name Ideas
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Woman Hides Her Unborn Baby’s Name From Copycat Sister Who Stole Her Last Two Baby Name Ideas

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Picking a name for your unborn child is an incredibly important and responsible process, and I personally know a couple who argued so bitterly over the name of their future kid that they almost ended up getting divorced before they even became parents. Yes, the choice should be mutual – because otherwise various nuances are possible…

The author of our story today, the user u/Elegant-Draft-7724, was lucky – she and her husband always had unanimity on the name for their unborn child. There was no luck with another – it took the woman many years of fruitless attempts to finally get pregnant. And when this happened, her younger sister framed her…

More info: Reddit

The author of the post has a younger sister who is at the moment pregnant with her third kid

Image credits: Anthony Tran (not the actual photo) 

At the same time it took the author many years to finally get pregnant using IVF

Image credits: u/Elegant-Draft-7724

Many years ago, the author and her spouse had picked boy and a girl names for their future kids

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Image credits: Matilda Wormwood (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: u/Elegant-Draft-7724

However, it turned out that the younger sister used these names for her first two children

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: u/Elegant-Draft-7724

So when it came time for naming once more, the author refused to disclose it to her sister, and got called out

So, the Original Poster (OP) is 38 years old, and her sister is two years younger. And it so happened that the sisters now simultaneously became pregnant – although for the youngest one, this pregnancy was the third, and for the author – the first and incredibly coveted. She and her husband spent many years trying to conceive a child – and had almost lost faith in success, until finally IVF had its effect.

Even at the beginning of their life together, the couple agreed to choose two names in case they had a girl or a boy – and this choice was unanimous. A couple of years later, when the OP’s sister had her first kid, a girl, she couldn’t agree on a name with her spouse – so she used her sister’s “girl pick.”

A few years later, the younger sister gave birth to a boy – and history repeated itself, but this time the boy’s name was involved. The younger sister sincerely admitted that she no longer believed in the possibility of the OP getting pregnant, so she believed that the name would “stay in the family” in any case.

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As a result, for their unborn child, the author and her husband had to combine the names her sister had already used – but when asked which name they picked, the original poster refused. Just in case. After all, she was not obliged to unveil anything to her sister. Although the OP told her other siblings everything – and they, by the way, fully supported her in this decision.

Image credits: Heiner (not the actual photo)

“I don’t think this woman is doing anything wrong. On the one hand, choosing a name is a personal matter for each parent and no one objects to children being namesakes. On the other hand, the circumstances under which her sister gave names to her kids make this case specific,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “And the fact that this mother seemed to be seriously counting on her older sister’s infertility also doesn’t speak in her favor.”

“In such cases, when after many attempts you still manage to get pregnant, many women are very sensitive to their child, both before and after their birth – so it’s not surprising that this mom-to-be chose to keep the name a secret, just in case. In the end, it’s a personal matter for her sister and her husband to come to a common opinion or show their imagination themselves, without relying on someone else’s idea,” Irina concludes.

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Some commenters under the original post also suspected that the OP’s sister wanted to use “her creative work” for the third time. “Not her business and I wouldn’t be surprised if she wants to use the name for her kid (or something similar),” one person commented. “My husband and I talked about that possibility or it’s her way of making sure I don’t use the names we picked out years ago,” the author replied.

And commenters were also interested in at what point the sister disclosed the names for her first two children to the original poster. “Has she told you the names she has picked this time? Who is due to have the baby first?” someone questioned, and the author responded: “She told me after each of her two children were born and I think I’m due first.”

In any case, people in the comments are almost sure that even if the first two cases hadn’t happened, the OP is completely within her right not to tell anything to anyone. “Baby names are so personal and private. My siblings never shared their baby names ever and nobody was ever pissed. It’s respecting privacy,” one commenter concluded. And do you agree with these conclusions? Please share your opinions in the comments below.

At the same time, people in the comments unanimously sided with the mom-to-be, claiming her sister’s behavior was improper

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duesvolent90 avatar
TheGoodBoi
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My cousin did this to me, just once. No more name sharing! What am I going to name my child? Chewbacca...

kenbeattie avatar
Ken Beattie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah that was my first thought too. Well not naming my kid Chewbacca... but telling her a name I *didn't* like and there was no way in hell I'd use. And I'd definitely stick with the names I liked... they're names you can't steal them you can just copy them. Then once your kid gets older tell they weren't named after the cousin, the cousin is named after them.

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biache34 avatar
Ellinor
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your own sister, and she has done that TWICE !?!? Nah, I get you OP, you're NTA. And the comment about the fact that "that way the names will be used" is nasty, it's like the sister didn't believed you would have a child one day.

laurawilliams_4 avatar
Laura Williams
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was hateful to justify her stupidity of not being able to come up with her own 0 creativity.

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sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember a case where a SIL copied everything the OP did, and then tried everything to weedle her chosen babies name out of her while she was also pregnant, and OP gave her a pretty name she hadn't actually chosen and then SIL got really angry when she found out that it wasn't at all the chosen name for OP's baby after she had given the name to her own child which was born first. This happens so often. What is wrong with those women who 'steal' babies names like it's some kind of gotcha?

kenbeattie avatar
Ken Beattie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty sure it's envy and it leads to one-upmanship. They feel threatened by the sister and have to "beat her" at everything. It's normally manifest in more material ways - you buy a car, they buy a more expensive one, you buy a 3 bedroom house, they buy a five bedroom one, etc.

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duesvolent90 avatar
TheGoodBoi
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My cousin did this to me, just once. No more name sharing! What am I going to name my child? Chewbacca...

kenbeattie avatar
Ken Beattie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah that was my first thought too. Well not naming my kid Chewbacca... but telling her a name I *didn't* like and there was no way in hell I'd use. And I'd definitely stick with the names I liked... they're names you can't steal them you can just copy them. Then once your kid gets older tell they weren't named after the cousin, the cousin is named after them.

Load More Replies...
biache34 avatar
Ellinor
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your own sister, and she has done that TWICE !?!? Nah, I get you OP, you're NTA. And the comment about the fact that "that way the names will be used" is nasty, it's like the sister didn't believed you would have a child one day.

laurawilliams_4 avatar
Laura Williams
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was hateful to justify her stupidity of not being able to come up with her own 0 creativity.

Load More Replies...
sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember a case where a SIL copied everything the OP did, and then tried everything to weedle her chosen babies name out of her while she was also pregnant, and OP gave her a pretty name she hadn't actually chosen and then SIL got really angry when she found out that it wasn't at all the chosen name for OP's baby after she had given the name to her own child which was born first. This happens so often. What is wrong with those women who 'steal' babies names like it's some kind of gotcha?

kenbeattie avatar
Ken Beattie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty sure it's envy and it leads to one-upmanship. They feel threatened by the sister and have to "beat her" at everything. It's normally manifest in more material ways - you buy a car, they buy a more expensive one, you buy a 3 bedroom house, they buy a five bedroom one, etc.

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