“I Adopted My Dog, Not Her”: Woman Splits Family And The Internet With Her Clapback To SIL
One of the best parts of the holiday season is spending time with loved ones. But does that include the fluffy and furry members of our families as well? Do pets get to have a say in how we celebrate?
Below, you’ll find a story that was recently shared on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, detailing how one woman’s sister-in-law has requested that she accommodate her needs over her dog’s this Christmas.
Due to unexpected circumstances, this woman and her husband have become responsible for hosting their family’s Christmas
Image credits: Samson Katt / pexels (not the actual photo)
But her sister-in-law has expressed that she won’t be attending the celebration unless there are no dogs in the house
Image credits: Wilson Vitorino / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andreas Schnabl / pexels (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman explained that she already offered to keep her dog in a separate room
Image credits: New-Prize-7698
She also responded to a few replies from readers and provided even more info on the situation
7 to 9% of the population has a fear of dogs
While dogs are considered to be man’s best friend, and they’re the most popular pet in the United States with over 65 million households having at least one, they can also be seen as terrifying creatures to some. According to Healthline, cynophobia, or the fear of dogs, is estimated to affect between 7 to 9% of the population.
Risk factors that make a person more susceptible to developing cynophobia are: having a traumatic experience with a dog, having a close relative who also has anxiety or phobias, having a sensitive temperament that may increase your likelihood of developing phobias, or being a young age, as specific phobias often pop up before the age of 10.
Some things that may trigger cynophobia are seeing a dog, even if it’s on a leash or enclosed, hearing a dog bark or growl, seeing a photo or movie that contains a dog, thinking about dogs or having to go somewhere that dogs might be present. And as far as treating cynophobia, the Cleveland Clinic notes that it can be helpful to see pictures or videos of friendly dogs, hold a toy dog, watch dogs from a distance, pet a dog while it’s on a leash and spend time with a dog off leash.
Image credits: Rodrigo Hanna / pexels (not the actual photo)
Rescue dogs often have trauma, and it’s important to be gentle while socializing them
It may be easier to understand how a human can be scared of dogs, as we are more familiar with one another’s emotions, but dogs can actually carry trauma and experience emotional distress as well. Healing Fur Souls notes on their site that most rescue dogs have likely experienced some level of trauma, such as abandonment, neglect, fear, violence or sudden changes in their environment.
Because of their experiences, Puppy In Training explains that it’s likely to expect some fear and anxiety, a lack of socialization, trust issues, and perhaps even behavioral issues from rescue dogs. Just like humans, they need time to adapt to a new environment, and they will likely be unsure if their new home will be permanent for a while.
When it comes to socializing an adult dog, Hound’s Lounge says to take it slow. Try to limit stressors in your dog’s environment and take time to build a routine and consistency. Stay positive, and start by taking your dog on walks to get them used to being with you. Over time, you can introduce them to other adult dogs, then adult humans, and eventually puppies and children.
Image credits: Samson Katt / pexels (not the actual photo)
Boarding can be incredibly stressful for dogs and should be avoided if possible
As far as the sister’s suggestion to simply board the dog in this situation on Reddit, it’s understandable why the dog’s owner would be hesitant to do so. Doglando explains on their site that being placed in a kennel can be extremely distressing for a dog, as they’re in a new situation with unfamiliar dogs and humans. They might become anxious and worried and perhaps even act out.
Our furry friends can also be exposed to illnesses from other dogs or develop bad behavior that they’ve observed from their fellow boarders. They might become more aggressive or perhaps even be traumatized by other aggressive dogs they’re forced to spend time around. Dogs also might not get enough time and space to exercise while they’re being boarded. It’s much better for dogs to stay in their own homes with a pet sitter whenever possible.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it was unreasonable for the sister-in-law to request that her relatives keep their dog away? Or should her family have accommodated her? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing family drama surrounding a dog, look no further than right here.
Image credits: iddea photo / pexels (not the actual photo)
Some readers noted that the situation could have been handled better by all parties involved
Meanwhile, others thought that the woman should have been more compassionate towards her SIL
And some assured the OP that she had done nothing wrong
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I know I am going to get downvoted for this but I am on the side of the OP. Your sister in law's problems are her problems not yours. While I am all in favour of making reasonable adjustments to accommodate other people, expecting you to put a newly adopted dog into kennels for her visit is not what I would consider reasonable. I fully understand and sympathise with trauma and the anxiety it causes, I have been there myself, but expecting everyone to adapt and adjust to accommodate her is neither reasonable or fair. If she is unable or unwilling to get help and treatment for her mental health then she needs to accept that there are things that she won't be able to do if they are triggering for her.
I agree with you. I didn't read the OPs comment about adopting the dog was as a dig at the SIL. I read it as I adopted the dog, I didn't invite/bring you into the family. I really think it is up to your brother to make alternate arrangements. He KNEW you had a dog, his and the SIL's issue, not the OP's.
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I am so tired of hearing about people and their "triggers". That is a YOU problem, not a problem for everyone around you. If YOU can't handle a certain type of animal, or person, or situation, then it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to avoid it.
100%. while i have no issues being aware of peoples triggers and i will do a reasonable amount to not activate them, i will only do that if they are actively working on helping themselves. its not anyone elses responsibility except the person who has the issue to get it dealt with. thats life. there are things from my past that bother me(technically triggers) but thats my problem. I can not subject myself to the situation or I can work with the therapist to get through it. its not the hosts job.
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I know I am going to get downvoted for this but I am on the side of the OP. Your sister in law's problems are her problems not yours. While I am all in favour of making reasonable adjustments to accommodate other people, expecting you to put a newly adopted dog into kennels for her visit is not what I would consider reasonable. I fully understand and sympathise with trauma and the anxiety it causes, I have been there myself, but expecting everyone to adapt and adjust to accommodate her is neither reasonable or fair. If she is unable or unwilling to get help and treatment for her mental health then she needs to accept that there are things that she won't be able to do if they are triggering for her.
I agree with you. I didn't read the OPs comment about adopting the dog was as a dig at the SIL. I read it as I adopted the dog, I didn't invite/bring you into the family. I really think it is up to your brother to make alternate arrangements. He KNEW you had a dog, his and the SIL's issue, not the OP's.
Load More Replies... I am so tired of hearing about people and their "triggers". That is a YOU problem, not a problem for everyone around you. If YOU can't handle a certain type of animal, or person, or situation, then it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to avoid it.
100%. while i have no issues being aware of peoples triggers and i will do a reasonable amount to not activate them, i will only do that if they are actively working on helping themselves. its not anyone elses responsibility except the person who has the issue to get it dealt with. thats life. there are things from my past that bother me(technically triggers) but thats my problem. I can not subject myself to the situation or I can work with the therapist to get through it. its not the hosts job.
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