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Mom Wants To Take One Kid To Disney Since Husband Pays Only For His Own, Gets Reality Check From Sis
Interview With Expert
Parental favoritism can hurt kids by hindering their self-esteem and fostering strained sibling relationships. It can also lead to feelings of jealousy, resentment, and guilt, ultimately affecting both the favored and the less favored child.
One netizen was horrified when her sister asked her if she could look after her one son, because she and her husband were taking the other to Disney World. She told her sister that she’s a lousy mom for playing favorites, then went online to share her story.
More info: Reddit
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Parents playing favorites can hurt their kids—something this woman wasn’t shy about telling her sister
Image credits: Vika Glitter / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her sister had asked her if she could look after one of her kids, because she was taking the other one to Disney World
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the woman asked her sister why both kids weren’t going, she said that her husband was only paying for their biological kid to go
Image credits: Bo shou / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman’s sister’s reasoning was that her husband shouldn’t be expected to pay for a kid that isn’t his
Image credits: Efficient_Hamster863
When the woman confronted her about how wrong that was, her sister ended up swearing at her and hanging up, leaving her to ask netizens is she was overreacting
OP, 26, took to an online community to vent about her older sister Emma, 30, who asked her for a huge favor: could she watch 11-year-old Eli for a week? The reason? Emma, her husband Jon, and their younger son AJ, 5, were heading to Disney World—without Eli.
Curious why her nephew wasn’t joining, OP asked what was up. Emma revealed that Jon had only paid for himself, her, and AJ—his biological kid. Eli, from a previous relationship, was being left behind. Instead of expressing concern, Emma excitedly talked about Disney character meet-and-greets and roller coaster rides.
That’s when OP couldn’t stay quiet anymore. She pushed back, saying it was cruel to exclude Eli and that being a stepfather means stepping up. Emma, however, defended her husband, claiming he wasn’t obligated to spend money on “a child that isn’t his.” That’s when the gloves came off—OP let her sister know she was being a lousy mom.
The argument escalated fast. Emma clapped back that the child-free OP had no right to give parenting advice. OP stood her ground, however, saying that you don’t need kids to know their decision could emotionally scar Eli. The call ended with Emma cursing at her and hanging up. Now, she’s turned to netizens to ask if she overreacted.
It’s hardly up to an aunt to see that her nephews aren’t treated differently, but OP makes a good point. So, just how detrimental is parental favoritism? We went looking for the facts.
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In his article for East Lake Pediatrics, Dr. Mike Jordan writes that playing favorites among children is more common than many realize. Studies indicate that up to 40% of people felt lonely growing up in families where favoritism existed. Whether intentional or not, favoritism can harm childhood relationships, self-esteem, and adult mental health.
According to Jordan, favoritism doesn’t always mean outright neglect or love imbalance—it’s often about how parents unconsciously interact with each child. It can be subtle (tone of voice, patience levels, or small gestures) or overt (differences in discipline, rewards, or responsibilities).
In her article for the BBC, Debra Dennett writes that, for the person who feels like they are treated as second-best, the consequences can be profound. Research suggests that from an early age, children are aware of differential treatment. Such perceived parental favoritism has been associated with low self-esteem in children, as well as childhood anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.
According to Laurie Kramer, a professor of applied psychology at Northeastern University in the US, “Preferential treatment may begin for parents due to one child being easier to parent, they may relate to that child more, and see similarities between them and the child.”
So, while parental favoritism seems impossible to avoid completely, taking it to the extreme like OP’s sister is doing is probably not going to end well for either of her kids. She’s not just leaving one child at home; she’s also depriving the other of experiencing the holiday as a complete family.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Tirrell De Gannes, therapist at Thriving Center of Psychology to get his take on the situation.
When we asked him whether the mom’s decision to leave one kid behind would affect both kids, he had this to say, “Taking one child to Disney as the mother of both clearly indicates favoritism even if it’s not intended. The father of the child has already chosen to only treat his biological child as his which is his prerogative though against the spirit of marriage,”
Dr. De Gannes added, “The child going to Disney is old enough to recognize the sibling will be missing and that will affect the sibling relationship as well as allow that child to mentally interpret his brother as an “other” in the family,”
The mother reinforcing this notion by not including both children and not choosing to stay home furthers this othering. It also displays inherent selfishness which both children will pick up on and emulate over time. If this decision is made, the best recourse would be to also take the other child on a trip for personal parenting time.
De Gannes went on to say that, as a side note, people often fear judgement from others and deny criticism they see as invalid because of a lack of shared experience. In some cases that is a valid reason to deny criticism but in others, it is apparent that there are consequences from our actions being ignored.
“The mother from this post is clearly captivated with the idea of enjoying a trip and has seemingly lost sight of the impact on both of her children in separating them for family events,” concluded De Gannes.
How would you have handled the situation if you’d been in OP’s shoes? Do you agree that what her sister is doing doesn’t exactly make her parent of the year? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, netizens swiftly concluded that the woman wasn’t overreacting, with some suggesting she make her time with Eli as much fun for him as possible
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 10 months ago
This is such a blatant example, but the poor kid must have a thousand micro (and regularly sized) aggressions against him daily, not to mention the heartbreak of having a mother that doesn't love him enough to stand up for him. How could you continue to be married to someone who thinks a member of your household family is not his concern? Sister is a terrible human. Heart breaking for Eli.
Mike F 10 months ago
Sister blows it off, you can rest assured that this type of thing happened before. That woman is vile for just accepting it as the status quo.
Load More Replies...
Glen Ellyn 10 months ago
How does she not know that leaving Eli behind makes her an appalling and awful mother?? Is it wrong to hope they have a miserable time at Disney World?
Janelle Collard 10 months ago (edited)
"OP's sister does not want it pointed out that she's a s***ty mother to Eli." Anybody want to lay bets that Eli goes NC with "mom" when he turns 18?
VogueGal 10 months ago
Wow massive AH parents! My stepdad would never do go anywhere without both and my half-brother. He never treated us differently and loved us both unconditionally even though I’m not biologically his. My heart breaks for Eli.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago (edited)
I'm adopted and I had a great dad. My older sister is my adoptive parents' bio child, but my dad never treated us differently from each other. We were BOTH his daughters, in entirety. In fact, I ended up having a lot more in common with him than my sister ever did! XD My dad ended up teaching me a LOT about our shared interests of computers, cars, basic electronic repairs, how to do basic electrical wiring, basic repair and maintenance of appliances and cars, etc. XD We also both loved to read and loved the same authors. Just because a parent is a "non-biological" parent doesn't make them NOT a parent unless they CHOOSE to be. OP's BIL is the latter kind. You and I both had the good kind of non-bio parent :) EDIT to add: note I didn't mention my mother - she absolutely treated my sister and I differently from each other, from the beginning. I was a second-class citizen in her eyes who was "only" adopted because she didn't want "her" daughter to be an only child, and she made SURE to tell me (continually) that I needed to "be grateful" to have been adopted. My mother is a horrible person and I definitely will not be her caregiver, nor will I visit her in the care home XD I've never forgotten a single horrible thing she's said to me or a single instance of her favoring her biological child over me (and there were many instances of that, similar to Eli's experiences. My dad did his best, but he was not a strong man and my mom was actually physically abus!ve towards him and dominated him via threatening to hurt us kids if he resisted her.)
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 10 months ago
Do you really think it's the "t" in WTF that needs censoring?
Sara Shamsabadi 10 months ago
I often see broken adults & wonder why they can't function as a whole human, and I feel myself judging the situation, so I try to stop myself, and reminders like these two garbage humans reminds me why people are broken sadly. I hope he gets as far away from them eventually & is accepted & loved properly. Thank goodness the auntie is there at least
Mary Muir 10 months ago
why isn't the mother paying for her biological son's trip to Disney??? She's supposed to collect child support for her son and use it to his benefit. Sister should insist on getting paid by mother for taking care of the nephew for a week. Then she can use that money to take the nephew someplace special. And why is stepfather being so insistent on not paying for his wife's child from her previous marriage? He lives there, he's part of the family, it wouldn't be that expensive? One extra plane ticket, but the children can share a hotel room or they can get a bigger room with two cots for the children? This kind of behavior is how you destroy your relationship with a child. They don't forget, they don't forgive, they just hold it in and hide it until they are older. And then they hate and resent you and refuse all contact once they are out and on their own because of all the neglect they suffered while the parents fawned over the sibling.
Emilu 10 months ago
I recognise most of the abbreviations for variations of AITA but what is AIO? Am I orange? Am I openly-a-d**k-weed?
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 10 months ago
That man has been that boy's figure for pretty near as long as he can remember. What an absolute d**k move. That would cause me to reevaluate the whole relationship.
Earonn - 10 months ago
Yes, that's what they said when r**e victims came forward. Both times - when women did it and later when male victims spoke up. And there was always a c**t like you calling it "lies", and we all can very well imagine why....
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 10 months ago
This is such a blatant example, but the poor kid must have a thousand micro (and regularly sized) aggressions against him daily, not to mention the heartbreak of having a mother that doesn't love him enough to stand up for him. How could you continue to be married to someone who thinks a member of your household family is not his concern? Sister is a terrible human. Heart breaking for Eli.
Mike F 10 months ago
Sister blows it off, you can rest assured that this type of thing happened before. That woman is vile for just accepting it as the status quo.
Load More Replies... Glen Ellyn 10 months ago
How does she not know that leaving Eli behind makes her an appalling and awful mother?? Is it wrong to hope they have a miserable time at Disney World?
Janelle Collard 10 months ago (edited)
"OP's sister does not want it pointed out that she's a s***ty mother to Eli." Anybody want to lay bets that Eli goes NC with "mom" when he turns 18?
VogueGal 10 months ago
Wow massive AH parents! My stepdad would never do go anywhere without both and my half-brother. He never treated us differently and loved us both unconditionally even though I’m not biologically his. My heart breaks for Eli.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago (edited)
I'm adopted and I had a great dad. My older sister is my adoptive parents' bio child, but my dad never treated us differently from each other. We were BOTH his daughters, in entirety. In fact, I ended up having a lot more in common with him than my sister ever did! XD My dad ended up teaching me a LOT about our shared interests of computers, cars, basic electronic repairs, how to do basic electrical wiring, basic repair and maintenance of appliances and cars, etc. XD We also both loved to read and loved the same authors. Just because a parent is a "non-biological" parent doesn't make them NOT a parent unless they CHOOSE to be. OP's BIL is the latter kind. You and I both had the good kind of non-bio parent :) EDIT to add: note I didn't mention my mother - she absolutely treated my sister and I differently from each other, from the beginning. I was a second-class citizen in her eyes who was "only" adopted because she didn't want "her" daughter to be an only child, and she made SURE to tell me (continually) that I needed to "be grateful" to have been adopted. My mother is a horrible person and I definitely will not be her caregiver, nor will I visit her in the care home XD I've never forgotten a single horrible thing she's said to me or a single instance of her favoring her biological child over me (and there were many instances of that, similar to Eli's experiences. My dad did his best, but he was not a strong man and my mom was actually physically abus!ve towards him and dominated him via threatening to hurt us kids if he resisted her.)
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 10 months ago
Do you really think it's the "t" in WTF that needs censoring?
Sara Shamsabadi 10 months ago
I often see broken adults & wonder why they can't function as a whole human, and I feel myself judging the situation, so I try to stop myself, and reminders like these two garbage humans reminds me why people are broken sadly. I hope he gets as far away from them eventually & is accepted & loved properly. Thank goodness the auntie is there at least
Mary Muir 10 months ago
why isn't the mother paying for her biological son's trip to Disney??? She's supposed to collect child support for her son and use it to his benefit. Sister should insist on getting paid by mother for taking care of the nephew for a week. Then she can use that money to take the nephew someplace special. And why is stepfather being so insistent on not paying for his wife's child from her previous marriage? He lives there, he's part of the family, it wouldn't be that expensive? One extra plane ticket, but the children can share a hotel room or they can get a bigger room with two cots for the children? This kind of behavior is how you destroy your relationship with a child. They don't forget, they don't forgive, they just hold it in and hide it until they are older. And then they hate and resent you and refuse all contact once they are out and on their own because of all the neglect they suffered while the parents fawned over the sibling.
Emilu 10 months ago
I recognise most of the abbreviations for variations of AITA but what is AIO? Am I orange? Am I openly-a-d**k-weed?
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 10 months ago
That man has been that boy's figure for pretty near as long as he can remember. What an absolute d**k move. That would cause me to reevaluate the whole relationship.
Earonn - 10 months ago
Yes, that's what they said when r**e victims came forward. Both times - when women did it and later when male victims spoke up. And there was always a c**t like you calling it "lies", and we all can very well imagine why....
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