A discussion is a very satisfying form of interaction, and so are arguments. Albeit not as pleasant as discussions, they can still bring a lot of amusement, and you might even learn something new from them. That is if your opponent plays fair and does not employ any of the toxic argument tactics that are so plentiful and terribly annoying. Want to learn more about these toxic arguments? Well, you’re in luck - there’s this awesome Reddit thread where people shared the wild cards other people use to turn a perfectly normal argument into a toxic one. Read it, learn from their example, and learn how to win an argument with a toxic person if ever you need it.
So, what are these bad argument tactics? Well, the front-runner is simply raising your voice in defense or offense - either way, it usually only proves your guilt and confuses your opponent even further in what you are trying to say. A low voice and calm composure always wins. A second runner-up in toxic things to say in an argument is to base your opinion on something as silly as ‘I read it on the Internet’ or ‘Do your research.’ As the people on the AskReddit thread decipher, the latter usually means ‘Watch two YouTube videos and become the same level expert as I am.’ And lastly, any argument turns into a toxic argument once manipulation, deceit, and hateful remarks start to be thrown around - in that case, your best bet is to run and never look back!
Right, ready to take a look at the toxic argument tactics these people caught in the wild? If so, just scroll on down below until you reach the submissions. Be sure to give the most dishonorable tactic your vote so other readers will see it first!
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"'Open your mind.' My mind is open. The earth isn't f*cking flat."
Commenter said:
"As soon as they realise they won’t win an argument they bring up something I did wrong in the past that has nothing to do with what’s being discussed. At that point it’s not about winning the argument at hand, it’s about just winning something because they can’t handle being wrong. That annoys me."
Commenter replied:
"I see you've met my mother."
When someone does this, I'm just saying "this have nothing to do with the topic of the discussion. So we focus on the problem or the discussion is over." I've had enough b******t from narcissist people and I refuse to take more ...
CGShiz said:
"Saying you should 'do your research' as if it's a winning argument when they obviously don't have a clue what they're talking about."
murderofcrows90 replied:
"When someone says 'do your research,' I hear, 'watch the same YouTube videos I did.'"
I answer: 'yes, I have read all the papers of the most thorough studies that have been made about this topic.' They reply: 'Not that kind of research!'
Outrageous_Claims said:
"Had an ex that would immediately go to 'WELL i'M SORRY i'M SUCH A F*CK UP, AND YOU HATE ME!" Any time I brought up something I was unhappy with in our relationship which made it impossible for me to bring up anything I was unhappy with.
Me 'Hey, I'm not happy that I do the cooking every single night.'
Her 'Well I'm sorry I'm such a stupid idiot who doesn't know how to make anything. I hate myself.'
Then I had to console her, and keep cooking every night. Totally unfair."
blu_crab replied:
"Yep. And then they have the audacity to wonder loudly why nobody will be 'honest' and 'direct' with them."
There are usually two types who have this reaction. 1. Super low self esteem, some kind of damage in their past. Usually typified by someone telling them young and often that mistakes were unacceptable, and it made them a bad person in some manner. 2. Someone who learned manipulation was an efficient way to get what they wanted, usually seen among the extremely spoiled.
"The 'Mom Card':
Doesn't matter if you have superior logic, mom always wins the argument because she said so!"
'I'm right because I carried you in my womb for 9 months!' Yeah, because that's how it works
"'I don’t want to argue.'
Then quit starting an argument, mother."
"People who set an arbitrary entry goal, rather than arguing the point.
'Oh, did you read this one book?' 'Did you watch this video?' 'Did you follow this course?'
Buddy, if the information contained there makes it so easy to refute my point, by all means do so."
I only do that with idiots trying to lecture me on medical issues (who have never a taken a single course in anything related to health care) and tell them: have you studied medicine for 6 years, graduated and worked in the field for another x years? No? Maybe I do know better than you. Doesn't win me any friends, but these people I usually don't care to befriend anyway
"'You must be so much fun at parties.' Whenever you Call someone out on sh*tty behavior and they refuse to acknowledge it."
"Bringing up something from your past that is totally irrelevant to the argument."
My mom sometimes lol. I changed your diapers, so any argument/advice you make I don't like is invalid.
biomech36 said:
"I don't know what the term would be.
When you finish a statement, they turn and laugh lightly, and say whatever. I know that means I win, but it god damn sure doesn't feel like it."
yaosio replied:
"If you want to watch somebody explode say, 'I'm glad you agree I'm right' after they do that."
Udjet said:
"Picking apart your entire argument because you chase the wrong word. They admit they knew what you meant, but invalidate everything because you obviously don't know what you're talking about."
totalperspec replied:
"You meant to say 'chose' and that error makes you entirely wrong."
"I have a pet peeve where people bring up kind things they did for me in order to guilt me out of disagreeing with them.
'You know, I really stuck up for you when so-and-so said this one thing about you.'
Don't even try it. I don't need so-and-so's approval, and I don't need your friendship loaded as ammunition against me."
uh dude it's called being a friend you do things for each other give and take, not take take take and you can f**k off for asking me for anything.
"Finding the exception that proves the rule.
You say something like 'iPhones are made in China' and they scour the internet for some source that one particular model was made in Taiwan or something, as if that somehow invalidates your entire argument."
That's one most woman will know from men. The 'not-all-men' argument. As a women I feel unsafe walking the streets at 3 am alone or getting into an Uber, or going on a date with an unknown man, because of the possibility of being rapéd and murdered. It's of no help and especially no consequence for us that 'not-all-men' are rapists. How would we know which one is and which one isn't, it's not stamped on their foreheads
TheOneAboveAll said:
"I don't know what to call it but the 'how dare you insinuate I did something wrong despite all the clear evidence showing I did something. I'm a literal angel who cannot do anything wrong so how dare you even suggest I could possibly do anything bad. I'm not the bad guy here. You're the bad guy for even thinking anything wrong of me. I am incapable of doing anything bad and for you to suggest otherwise shows how much of an abusive asshole you really are.' Whatever card you call that. The perfect angel card or something I guess."
GD_Sytonix replied:
"Think that's called the narcissist card."
"Looking through my Facebook photos and pointing out that I'm fat, so therefore what I'm trying to say has no merit. Like whoa, I had no idea that I was fat until you told me, buddy! A+ 100 for you, observational master."
Commenter said:
"Talking louder makes you right."
Mrminecrafthimself replied:
"CORRECT."
NotGayRyan replied:
"I read that in plankton’s voice without even thinking about it."
Fiddlesnarf7 said:
"'You always want to be right.'
'Sure honey, you're definitely 100% right like always.'"
Oscar_7 replied:
"The irony about this is that 100% of the time, it's the person saying this that always wants to be right."
NotABurner2000 said:
"'So you're saying...'
No, stop trying to summarize my argument in a way that makes me sound like an a**hole."
aleagrh1 replied:
"I'd say it depends for this one. Sometimes mirroring and rephrasing can help on make sure you're not misinterpreting the other person's argument.
I can see it being problematic when someone takes advantage of mirroring or rephrasing to create a straw man."
When it's used passive aggressively it sure is problematic
"Do you have kids of your own? No? Then you wouldn't understand."
To be frank, before kids I really didn't understand anything about parenting and exhausting it could really be. And I thought myself to be a great potential parent, who knew everything and would do everything better. I'm cured now, if you need to know
1thatonedude1 said:
"'Well that's just your opinion. You have yours I have mine!'
No Cletus, peeing in the fuel tank won't work as emergency fuel and that's a fact not an opinion!"
The_Blue_DmR replied:
"Seriously. How did that start? I had a discussion with a guy about frame rates in videogames and he told me just what you said."
You're entitled to your opinion, doesn't mean it's not a stupid one ^^
"I don't get this one often, but it's the absolute worst.
Old dude said my opinion wasn't valid, because I went to college. Therefore, I was an indoctrinated, brainwashed liberal.
I went to school for engineering bruh. That has nothing to do with the argument."
Get the same as a doctor all the time. What I learned is just indoctrination paid for by big pharma. They want to keep people sick to make money and so on, and so on
"Labelling someone an autist/narcist/BPD or just plain crazy. OR, using someone's actual diagnosis as a way to never have to take anything they say seriously."
I know many parents of my psychiatric patients do this. You're emotionally-unstable, you can't have a driver's license! You would just drive off a cliff, because you're uNsTaBle
Mrminecrafthimself said:
"The straw man. Basically they grossly misinterpret your point, transform it into a weaker point, and proceed to defeat the weaker point while claiming they defeated the original point. It’s complete intellectual cowardice."
anonymousbach replied:
"So you're saying I am literally made of straw? That is utterly ridiculous, if I was made of straw how could I be typing this? I'm embarrassed for you."
"'You laughed so you must not be telling the truth.'
No, mom and dad, when you stare at me with your eyebrows raised like that you look funny."
Omg but the face makes me laugh nervously even if I did tell the truth. Like, yes, mom, I actually don't have a crush on anyone right now!
The_Blue_DmR said:
"Trying to play mind reader. I'm sorry, but you don't know jack sh*t about my thoughts.
Guilt tripping me. It doesn't work, just f*ck off."
N7even replied:
"Oh I hate this, people just assume what you are thinking. Usually they are a mile off, and don't wanna know what you were ACTUALLY thinking. Then proceed to make a whole argument out of their assumption.
Just beyond annoying."
daboss54320 said:
"It is what it is.
I know this, that's why it needs to change."
Miramar_VTM replied:
"Maybe they're already at the 'change what you cannot accept and accept what you cannot change' stage."
Sometimes, the change you make can be because 'it is what it is'. Example: I have ADD. I used to lose my keyring because I'd forget where I put it down. I installed hooks near the front door and always hang my keys there without fail. Now I never lose them. So even though it didn't 'cure' the ADD or improve my memory, it still solved the problem of lost keys. Playing Jedi Mind Tricks on yourself is an underrated skill to have.
"I used to live with a psychotic woman. She would get mad at something in the middle of the night and would throw flat out tantrums. She would demand you listen to her yell at you and get angry towards you for hours. She would speak over you whenever you tried to explain your side, until eventually you would get so frustrated that you say something in an angry tone.
The second a raised voice, sudden movement, or hurtful thing was said to her, she would instantly turn to any other guy around and insist that you are dangerously violent, or she would immediately call the cops acting like a scared woman.
This was how she 'won' arguments all the time. She would just bully people until they lashed out verbally, then would use the law and social rules to finish bullying you. I couldn't believe someone would pull the scared woman card so flippantly when she has spent her entire life doing things to encourage other people to hurt her. She punched our other roommate in the face and then called the cops when he yelled at her after she did it."
"Deliberately misconstruing the implications of your speech to incite hostility so they can proclaim themselves as the composed winner."
"'I once read an article...'
So reading a tabloid article without any source made you the expert now... Rrrrright."
"If I complain about a minor thing like someone leaving the lights on, they tend to go 'well at least I’m not getting upset over LIGHTS, there are bigger things to worry about' like yes true but can you turn the lights off and stop acting like you are superior because apparently don’t complain about minor things ever in your life??"
DogD666 said:
"Crediting a class they took once 3 years ago."
Synli replied:
"Jesus Christ, this one is infuriatingly accurate.
You took Psych 101 4 years ago, shut up, you aren't 'reading' me, I'm not 'projecting,' you aren't a goddamn mind-reader. You're a pretentious c*nt who's trying to win this argument by quoting a class you probably failed in Freshman year because you have no other grounds to stand on."
Anyone without a psychiatry degree making diagnosis or the lack thereof can all STFU. Psychology is one of the hardest subjects there is to learn, the human mind is not simple, yet everyone thinks they can look at someone and tell everything about them cause they heard that one thing once in a tv show. Pisses me off to no end.
"'You showed one(1) emotion and therefore your entire argument is invalid because showing any emotion at all during an argument means you're just hysterical and overemotional, unlike me, a paragon of Logic and Rational Thinking'
That's... not how it works."
Especially if you're a woman, you're just being 'dramatic, hysterical, over-emotional, etc.'
"Most frequently: Age. It's combination of my friends being a bit older than me, and me being a bit baby faced and newer to our mutual hobbies. I started after graduating, they all played throughout college.
But hot damn, shut your sh*t with: 'Back when I was your age, gaming used to be...' I'm 30, you're 35, shut the f*ck up.
Worst case was with a hobby I was really new to, had a girl say 'I used to think that when I was your age, but I've been doing this for years now...' I discover she was 30 when I was 29.
Age doesn't make you wiser or more experienced. Actual experience makes you more experienced so please just phrase it that way instead, it's far less condescending."
And stupid people tend to stay stupid throughout their lives, alas...
"The devils advocate that adds nothing to the argument. They want to be against what you are saying to sound smart and just steer the argument with no direction."
"'Anyway, you're young I don't expect you to understand.' My older brothers and sister use this sh*t all the time. Drives me crazy."
"Trying to 'win an argument' at all. There is no discussion we can have that is better had as an argument. How about we both approach the issue from the same side as individuals who are seeking to understand the truth? It’s fine if we’re playing lawyer to give one side it’s best possible defense, but at the end of the conversation if you were so married to your argument that you couldn’t even entertain the idea that it wasn’t the correct one (you don’t even have to entertain MY argument, but show me you at least consider that your view may be imperfect), then here’s what I know about you:
You turned a valuable opportunity for both of us to win new growth and insights into a cheap game. We both lost out and that’s because of your juvenile attitude."
Nowadays, it seems like if you disagree with someone in the slightest, you MUST be attacking them personally. It's really annoying.
Commenter said:
"The age card. 'I'm older than you and that means I know better.'
Age means nothing. Knowledge isn't gifted to you every year you're on earth. It doesn't work like a jRPG level up."
huazzy replied:
"To be fair, those that discredit experience (sometimes comes with age) are equally infuriating."
"My former roommate constantly told me that because I grew up 'privileged' my arguments were all invalid."
vibrantax said:
"Personal attacks, especially online. People know no limits."
ThisGuy_Again replied:
"F*ck you! That point is invalid because you are an absolute d*ckhead."
"In real life: Any time someone tries to use your race or gender to discount your argument.
In other words, attack the person instead of the idea."
"I once had a woman try to defend a homophobic comment by saying something along the lines of she once fooled around with another woman so she couldn't possibly be homophobic."
Haha. Same as 'I once dated a black guy/have a black step-niece, so I can't possibly be racist!
"'Think of the children!' - Exactly my point."
"People expecting that anecdotal evidence is proof of any point, no matter the overwhelming evidence to the contrary."
Should have put that comment about the aunt having been miraculously healed by *insert random thing from the internet* here instead of above
"Posting a picture of a crying baby in an attempt to insult you.
You clearly have nothing else to say or add, I won the argument."
"Comparing whatever the argument is about to a similar but extremely different thing Ex: We've only explored 1% of the ocean so think of all the places on land we haven't found."
You mean like the giant wall that encompasses all the world and prevents the oceans from just tumbling into space? /j obviously
"Saying that I'm pretentious for knowing the jargon.
Was in a music related argument and started talking about hammer-ons and was told I'm super pretentious for saying things that they didn't know and that I must be so good at the guitar.
I don't even play guitar."
"Attacking minute details that are barely relevant to the argument to begin with, just because it's the only thing they can easily latch on to. Basically trying to drag the argument to the ground or filibuster the argument to make it go away. Completely ignoring the important points in order to drag on and on and on about something stupid. I hate it."
"A lot of times people will cite sources, that aren't that legitimate. If you can't find a link to the research study, then I'm going with what makes the most logical sense to me. There are a lot of websites that are very legit, (.gov and .edu sites) that will state things as facts that are actually just popular, accepted opinions."
BabyBabaBofski said:
"The slippery slope argument, cause its technically correct but not really."
guitar_vigilante replied:
"I think it's difficult because you need to identify that the argument is a slippery slope, and you also have to determine if it is actually a slippery slope, AND you have to determine if the end point of that slope is acceptable or not if it is a slippery slope, because slippery slope arguments are not automatically fallacious."
And yet the slippery slope is there and once your are on it you can't get off of it. That's why people are now trying to normalize the sexualization of children and animals.
"When someone has previously given out to you for an action. Then when they preform said action and you call them out on being a hypocrite, they hit you with the 'yeah but you did it too' and proceed to give out to you again."
NaturalSwolelection said:
"Well. Just had a breakup so this one is perfect. I told the girl straight up from the jump I have a smoking addiction, she said it was cool as long as I was trying to quit. It obviously wasn't, she got pissed and told me she didn't believe I could quit, and broke up with me. I told her that hurt and I was upset she lied about how she felt about me smoking. Because I said that I apparently 'victimize myself' and do it all the time. So expressing emotion makes me a victim because I'm male, and invalidates my argument."
HighestLevelRabbit replied:
"Silly robot males don't have emotion.
But seriously, I absolutely hate that. Along with anything related to the phrase 'man up' when ever a guy shows emotion."
Let's coin the term 'man up' into a man showing his emotions and affections freely and without judgement
"My is a ______! I know what I'm talking about."
My step-grand-uncle 2nd grade is a heart surgeon! Let me perform one on you!
"My grandma on facebook...
'According to the internet...'
As if it was some singular monolithic entity..."
"The consensus on the Internet is..." You found consensus on the Internet? Where?
PM_ME_LOVELY_SMILES said:
"Shifting the goalposts to a new argument without acknowledging that's what they're doing.
We can take up a new argument once the first one's been settled."
Hidden_Samsquanche replied:
"But if they don't shift it they may lose the fierce battle and come away wiser. Can't have that, *because admitting you are wrong or made a mistake can make you look foolish."
Especially whataboutism in a feeble attempt to show that two diametrically opposed things are, in fact, one and the same. No, they're not.
"The 'honest question...' card. I give people a chance, but they get tired about 2 replies in, and start dishing out the snark and trying to make it personal. Probably 90% of the time, it's not an honest question, it's just smug posturing by people who consider themselves reasonable but aren't."
Back2Bach said:
"A guy I knew would say, 'Yeah, well... You don't know grits from granola!'
Then he'd walk away with a smile of self-satisfaction, completely dismissing all that had been discussed."
Sunny_Tater replied:
"I would laugh my **s off if someone said that to me.
I really want to believe he was just trolling."
-Words-Words-Words- said:
"Sometimes I think my wife will do something that I have asked her not to do just to provoke an argument. So when I get pissed off that she did that thing AGAIN, she completely shuts down and acts like I am being unreasonable and sh*tty. It is infuriating."
Stormfly replied:
"My five minutes of reading psychology and complete lack of experience tell me she just wants you to give her attention, and in future you should see if this might be the case next time.
That or she's been replaced by a lizard person and they don't remember."
"When people make comparisons to what you're saying that make absolutely no sense at all. Like if I told you I thought mayonnaise was bad on sandwiches, and you responded by being like 'that's like saying gun control is BAD for the US!'
I'm obviously being facetious but whenever someone I talk to says 'that's like saying' I usually brace for stupidity."
Zuko_Ya_Boi said:
"Pot of greed to try to summon two more counter arguments when their other ones have been proven wrong."
cassidybk asked:
"BUT WHAT DOES POT OF GREED DO?"
SCOOTtheSQUEAKER replied:
"IT LETS ME DRAW TWO CARDS FROM MY DECK!"
I'm waiting for the comments on my comments flooding in and bashing me to pieces 🙃
I thought they were good! No argument here. Lol
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I thought they were good! No argument here. Lol
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