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SIL Desperately Wants To Insert Herself Into Couple’s Pregnancy, Rudely Says She Feels ‘Cut Out’
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SIL Desperately Wants To Insert Herself Into Couple’s Pregnancy, Rudely Says She Feels ‘Cut Out’

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Let’s start this post by thanking heaven for giving us relatives. And it’s true, relatives are people who are always ready to come to our aid. In action, in word, in advice. People with whom we share our joys and sorrows, who often violate our personal boundaries, and who, alas, can betray us at the very first opportunity… No, perhaps, let’s wait with the thanks and just read this story.

A few days ago, it appeared in the AITA Reddit community, published by the user u/Brief-Ad8464, and during this time it collected over 6.8K upvotes and around 1.8K various comments. Another family drama, another brilliant example of pure entitlement…

More info: Reddit

The author of the post has been married for 13 years, with numerous fruitless efforts to get pregnant

Image credits: Amina Filkins (not the actual photo)

After the woman’s 35th birthday, the spouses finally decided to live a childfree life

Image credits: u/Brief-Ad8464

And it turned out that 5 years later, the author unexpectedly found out she’s pregnant

Image credits: MART RODUCTION (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: u/Brief-Ad8464

The spouses decided to hide the pregnancy from relatives for as long as possible, and only unveiled the news in the 18th week

Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)

Image credits: u/Brief-Ad8464

Everyone understood their motives, but the author’s SIL criticized the mom-to-be for both hiding the news and for the name she’d picked for the baby

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So, now meet the Original Poster (OP), a 41 Y.O. woman who has been married for 13 years, and during all this time, she and her husband have made lots of fruitless attempts to have kids. The couple tried literally everything – but to no avail, and when the author was 35, they resigned themselves to the state of affairs and decided that from now on they would live a childfree life.

As people say, “If you want to make God laugh, just talk about your plans.” Five years passed, and some time after her 40th birthday, the OP suddenly discovered that she was pregnant. Yes, such an unexpected set of circumstances… Considering her age, as well as her previous unsuccessful history of trying to get pregnant, the woman wanted the pregnancy to go as smoothly as possible – and for this, the couple decided to hide this fact from relatives.

It’s not that the spouses were superstitious or that their relatives turned out to be incredibly nosy and entitled people, but, as they say, just in case. No sooner said than done, the OP managed to keep her pregnancy a secret until the 18th week, when they told their extended family about everything. Everyone, of course, were incredibly happy and understood the reasons for the long silence, but the husband’s sister was also upset that she learned about such an important event in the life of the family relatively late.

Moreover, after some time, the SIL even accused the author of being entitled, and tried to find out what name they would give to the future baby. The original poster finally gave in and said that their son would be called Hawthorne. Well, if you think that the SIL appreciated such sincerity, you are definitely mistaken.

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The woman said that Hawthorne is, of course, a beautiful name, but personally she would like her future nephew to be called something more traditional, like James or George. To this, mom-to-be replied that it was her and her husband’s business, and considering that they were unlikely to have another chance to have a child in the future, they wanted to choose exactly the name that they liked the most.

And here the SIL said that she and her husband behaved not that nice – first, hiding from the family for so long the news that all relatives had been waiting for so many years, and then not giving others a chance to come up with an option for the name. “She told me we just wanted to leave everyone out and we should have known better,” the author summarizes.

Image credits: Amina Filkins (not the actual photo)

I want to say right away that there are no double standards here – the original poster said in the comments that during her pregnancy the SIL also asked her relatives for advice on the name for her baby, but in the end she and her husband chose their own option. And still, the accusations against the mom-to-be look absolutely unfair.

“Any pregnancy and parenting is definitely a matter, first of all, of two people – the child’s parents, and if they themselves don’t ask for advice or don’t seek help, then this is how it should be for all relatives and friends,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, to whom Bored Panda reached out for a comment here. “Especially if the conditions are as specific as in the situation described.”

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“It is quite understandable that the pregnant woman and her spouse wanted to limit probable disturbing factors as much as possible so that the pregnancy would go calmly. Therefore, it’s difficult to imagine the motives that guided this woman’s SIL, not only criticizing her in front of her relatives, but also starting a second conversation. And regarding the choice of a name – this, I repeat, is a personal matter for the parents. And for the child too – if, when he grows up, for some reason he doesn’t like his name,” Irina concludes.

The vast majority of commenters on the original post also expressed surprise and indignation at the SIL’s behavior, specifically emphasizing that it was none of her business, neither with hiding the pregnancy, nor with picking the name. “SIL is a sentient NPC and forgot she isn’t the main character,” someone aptly wrote in the comments.

As for the spouses’ decision not to tell anyone about the pregnancy for as long as possible, commenters here also understand them perfectly well. “At your age, it was a high risk pregnancy. I understand why you waited. Not sure why you waited on the name,” some of the folks added. And what would you, our dear readers, do in a similar situation?

People in the comments, however, sided with the author, claiming that the SIL is definitely an NPC here, and nothing more

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Read less »
Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The goings-on in my womb are MY business unless and until I choose to tell someone. And I don't need anyone's blessing or feedback on the name I chose, either. Like it or don't like it, I don't care.

gilbertkim757 avatar
Kim Gilbert
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. Nobody's business but yours, but people need attention and to scream and shout and bawl and publish all over the media for nothing other than lookatmeeee. BP, you really need to get back to what you once were. You will lose us eventually, but I don't think you care, do you?

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heatherphilpot avatar
Hphizzle
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet sil was one of those kids at a birthday party that thought everyone should get something too since to birthday person was getting a lot of gifts. Sweetheart, this isn’t your pregnancy. Way to c**p in OP’s miraculous life event.

wmdkitty avatar
Shawna Burt
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh, I'm already getting cake (!) out of the deal, what more could I ask?

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zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The goings-on in my womb are MY business unless and until I choose to tell someone. And I don't need anyone's blessing or feedback on the name I chose, either. Like it or don't like it, I don't care.

gilbertkim757 avatar
Kim Gilbert
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. Nobody's business but yours, but people need attention and to scream and shout and bawl and publish all over the media for nothing other than lookatmeeee. BP, you really need to get back to what you once were. You will lose us eventually, but I don't think you care, do you?

Load More Replies...
heatherphilpot avatar
Hphizzle
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet sil was one of those kids at a birthday party that thought everyone should get something too since to birthday person was getting a lot of gifts. Sweetheart, this isn’t your pregnancy. Way to c**p in OP’s miraculous life event.

wmdkitty avatar
Shawna Burt
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh, I'm already getting cake (!) out of the deal, what more could I ask?

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