Society has normalized a lot of things that are blatantly sexist—that’s what the ‘Power To Her’ channel shared in a viral TikTok video that caught the attention of many women on the platform. According to the ‘Power to Her’ project’s video, one of the most mind-blowingly sexist things that are still prevalent in modern society is the fact that women are pressured to change their last names once they get married.

Meanwhile, other TikTokers pitched in with their own examples of what kinds of sexist behaviors have been normalized. From brides wearing white dresses that symbolize purity, innocence, and virginity, and fathers ‘giving away’ their daughters after they walk them down the aisle to other sexist behaviors that you can find in everyday life. Have a look at some of the most insightful responses to ‘Power To Her’s’ video and upvote the ones that you’ve noticed in society, too, dear Pandas.

More info: TikTok | PowerToHer.org

#1

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist I've tried numerous times and asked numerous doctors if I can have my tubes tied because I don't want to have children, nor does my husband. They want to have a meeting with both me and my husband, they tell me I'll probably change my mind, that I'm too young or that I need to wait until I have at least one child. Even though I don't want any. But my husband can make a phone call and set up an appointment, just like that.

linds.shelton , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Eslamala
Community Member
7 months ago

THIS. Even if the laws are on your side, most doctors won't do it and give you all kinds of illegal and irrelevant excuses, and there's nothing you can do about it, except for going from doctor to doctor until you luck out. Had a huge fight with my former OBG/YN because he wouldn't tie my tubes because "I was too young (23) and eventually *my husband* could want kids. I literally kicked him in the nuts while cursing at him. Would do it again.

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#2

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist School dress codes. This logic about girls needing to "cover up" is so problematic and flawed, because we're teaching girls that they are responsible for how men act when they show any part of their body.

lilbaby__98 , cottonbro Report

Eslamala
Community Member
7 months ago

Yeah, this is absolutely fcked up.

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#3

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist The prefix for men is Mr. and the prefix for women is Miss, Ms. and Mrs. A prefix for women is directly dependent on if she is single or married. It stays Mr. for men all their lives.

power.to.her , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Amy Dodds
Community Member
7 months ago

Or just keep yours Ms, which is neither single nor married

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The ‘Power To Her’ organization aims to empower women in their communities. “We hope to encourage social change through promoting, educating and providing the necessary tools and services for progress,” the project explains on its website.

The founder of ‘Power To Her,’ Sachreet Chahal and Shuchi Jain, seek to end gender-based inequalities on a global level. Having met at the Schulich School of Business, the two women eventually grew closer together, shared the things they faced as women, and decided to form the organization.

#4

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Back in 2017 I bought a house as a single woman, this year I sold it. My and my partner decided to buy a new house together. With the money I made from selling my old house, I put the entire down payment on the new one. The mortgage company, the insurance, home warranty addresses him as the owner of this house and I'm the "co-borrower".

notsansa , Jordan Bauer Report

Sofie
Community Member
7 months ago

That's just wrong!

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#5

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist A woman with boundaries is selfish, rude, mean, harsh. A man with boundaries is confident, powerful, successful, ambitious.

scarrednotscared , Raychan Report

Omi bub
Community Member
7 months ago

A woman is 'bossy' a man 'has good leadership skills'. In same vein though women are sensitive & men are soft.

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#6

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist When people come up to me and tell me my daughter's really beautiful and that I better watch our for her when she gets older. Like, they're actually expecting our daughters to be sexually assaulted.

charissacooke , cottonbro Report

lunar eclipse
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

Okay. So where I live. We have arranged marriages. I don’t mind. What I do mind is that I’m 17 and our weird neighbour hinted my mom that she thought I was pretty and her son was at marrying age. Ewgh. Creepy old ladies. Edit: Yes my parents shoed her away.

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“Power To Her means giving the power back to each and every single woman and providing them with the help and resources to live their most authentic life,” they explain.

Founder Shuchi, a professional dancer and choreographer with a penchant for traveling and content creation, hopes to raise awareness about the issues that women face through the project. Meanwhile, Sachreet, an aspiring writer and a philanthropist, has always had a passion for social activism and always dreamed about starting a non-profit organization.

#7

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Women are forced to take sole responsibility for contraception, when women are only fertile 3-5 days of the year. Men are fertile every single day of the year. The biggest gimmick of all was that it was sold to us as a way of independence.

nezzysparkles , cottonbro Report

Celeste Grant
Community Member
7 months ago

That must mean 3-5 days a month, not a year! Most women have a fertile period every cycle.

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#8

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist How male actors like Ryan Gosling or Leonardo DiCaprio can play the main character their entire careers but each time their female co-star/love interest gets younger.

emilydeahl Report

Amy Dodds
Community Member
7 months ago

Don't forget the actresses for the 'mums' are often only a few years older than the actors playing their 'son'

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#9

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist It's not only normalized but viewed as "cute" when a man can't do the basic parts of parenting. "Oh my husband can't even be with the kids for two hours without calling me haha". "That's nothing, mine won't even touch the dirty diapers." What's funny about only women being expected to know how to take care of their children?

chrystheauthor , Anete Lusina Report

If I could I would live under water
Community Member
7 months ago

I have to say where I come from, that's not true (anymore). When I go on a 3 day trip with my girlfriends, the dads stay with the kids and it's perfectly normal. No problems whatsoever.

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‘Power To Her’ bases its activities on three main pillars in order to empower “a large network of women from different backgrounds and ethnicities.”

The first pillar that the project is founded on is all about mutual support and growth. The second is about educating society about women’s issues, gender stereotypes, toxic beauty standards, access to education, inequality in the workplace, and the lack of women in positions of power. The final pillar is providing people with the necessary tools and services to empower them to give back to marginalized communities.

#10

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Whenever a girl has an attitude or is in a bad mood, she gets asked if it's her "time of the month".

ginger.gemini420 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Liset Vossen
Community Member
7 months ago

Oh, i say that to guys too.. :)

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#11

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist It's so normalized for women to change their last name after getting married. This is the name you got your degree with, the name associated with all your accomplishments. Yet society just expects you to pack it up and change it the second you get married.
The fact that so many men expect their S/O to change their last name for them is a red flag.
I understand all the arguments for why you would want to change your last name. To be part of the family and it's easier for the kids and all that. BUT the fact is that the pressure is solely put on women.

power.to.her , Lưu Đức Anh Report

Mooncat83
Community Member
7 months ago

I never changed my name. I love my husband, but I'm his wife/partner, not his sister. And I'm quite pissed that my children MUST have my husbands name, why not both surnames?

David Cartwright
Community Member
7 months ago

Nothing is stopping you from giving your children double barrelled names. But still....Damn you society!!

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Guywithchickens
Community Member
7 months ago

Friends of mine both just picked a new last name when they married. New start for both. And my wife wanted mine partly because her dad was a jerk. New start for her. Change if you want/need, don't if you don't.

Edward Willis
Community Member
7 months ago

When I got married, I took my wife's surname. I had no attachment to my own, and wanted to support her and show I wasn't going to be controlling her life. My father really didn't like it, and neither did her parents. None of the arguments I've heard explain why the women should change her name, just explain why one of the people should change their name. It's horrible that the pressure is on women.

CatFist
Community Member
7 months ago

I've been married for almost 14 years now and, though we initially followed the traditional route (purely because it's the norm), as of about 2 years ago we decided to switch to my wife's surname. I identify much more as part of her family than the one I grew up in

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M Calad
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

I didn't change mine because I just couldn't think of myself with another name. I felt my identity was somehow linked to my full name. I did get a lot of criticism, but I didn't care. However, my best friend and her husband did something cool; they both changed their last names to a joint version after they got married, like Smith-Jones. Their kids got that joint last name too when born.

Troux
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

I always thought this was really weird. It feels like aggressive ownership to slap your name on anything, let alone a person. In the overall context, it seems that ownership is exactly the point.

Frankenfrog
Community Member
7 months ago

That's patriarchy in a nutshell

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

Of course it's not for every one and certainly shouldn't be forced upon or be an expectation. I took my hubby's last name and I love it. Much better than my maiden surname.

Frankenfrog
Community Member
7 months ago

A shame

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Nandina
Community Member
7 months ago

There is no woman on the planet that has her own last name. Your last name is your father's last name, as is your mother's and her mother's, so on and so on....

Dynein
Community Member
7 months ago

So? In the same way, you could argue that no man has his own name, either... after all, his name is his father's name...

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F-Dup
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

When some friends of mine got married, they both changed their surname to something completely new which I think is cool

L D
Community Member
7 months ago

In Korea (and I guess in other Asian countries as well) women never take the husband's name, they think it is a weird tradition in the Western culture. I think it comes from the idea that they got their names from their parents, who they respect, therefore they wouldn't change their names ever.

Aroha
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

I can understand that, but I really dislike my last name. Therefore I would happily take my husband's, if I ever married. It is not disrespect to my parents in any way.

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Joshua Seaman
Community Member
7 months ago

10/10 will change my last name to my wife's last name 😅

The Dave
Community Member
7 months ago

If Seaman's your real last name, poor guy! I don't blame you a bit!

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Jazzy Mc. Jaz
Community Member
7 months ago

It can stay the same or the man can change his it really doesn't matter its just tradition.

veveve
Community Member
7 months ago

for countries that doesn't apply surname/family name like mine, we don't change our names,,,even for the children doesn't always bear the father's name. its common that all member of family have entirely different names

Jarrod Nichols
Community Member
7 months ago

A secure man has no problem if you keep your name

Cynthia McDonald
Community Member
7 months ago

I kept my last name and now my husband gets called Mr. McDonald, he's super gracious about it xD

arianna
Community Member
7 months ago

In my country (Italy) you never chance your surname, as a woman. And a few years ago the law changed for what concerns children and as soon as they are born you can choose whether to give them yours or your husband's (or partner's)

Daniel Gilroy
Community Member
7 months ago

I encouraged my beloved not to take my name, but she had some serious issues with her father and was glad to change it. I'm glad she took my name by choice not by pressure or tradition.

Leslie Burleson
Community Member
7 months ago

Not legally. You're entitled to put whatever name you want . My grandson has my daughter's last name .

Bill
Community Member
7 months ago

I think couples should pick a new last name together.

dia patil
Community Member
7 months ago

my mom never changed her last name. when asked about it, she says it sounds weird with my dad's last name. do what you want to do.

Marianne
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

In Germany it is getting more common for men to take their wife's name (I know 4 men who did that). In an ideal world, a couple should have all possibilities (she takes his, he takes hers, they keep their own) and society should accept whatever decision they make.

Yvette Desmarais
Community Member
7 months ago

I wish I hadn't changed mine. Divorced now.

Anakinobi
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Men can change their name

Pumpkin Spice
Community Member
5 months ago

Yeah mate I traced back my last name matriarchally!

Dale
Community Member
7 months ago

Your last name came from your father in most situations, soooooo

A-c Van Binsbergen
Community Member
7 months ago

I didn't change the name either, it was quite a battle at first but after a while he understood my point of view. We are together and people see we are together, with name or without.

Mark Howell
Community Member
7 months ago

When my wife and I were discussing getting married 21 yrs ago (I'd be on parole for murder now ;o)), we couldn't agree whose surname we would use. Neither of us were really bothered, so we ended up tossing a coin. I am now known as Mr 'She who must be obeyed' ;o)

Katharine Lang
Community Member
7 months ago

I hope things have changed since I got married. I wanted to change my last name to a hyphenated version of his & mine and I actually had to get a court order to "allow" this, AND I had to get permission from my dad and brother!

Ieva Poliščiukienė
Community Member
7 months ago

Don't change it. Whats the problem?

Robert Thompson
Community Member
7 months ago

This is tradition biased in Christianity. When we Become a "Christian" we take upon ourselves the name of "Christ."

Pille P
Community Member
7 months ago

In Germany if you have kept the original maiden name as your married name in Baden-Württemberg apparently you have to go and decide on a family name and that name is given to the children. Usually it is the husbands last name then. In any case if you divorce and remarry the children with the new husband may again get that chosen family name unless the divorced father agrees to the name change on marriage to the existing children. They claim it is so that the kids of one family would all have the same last name. But then only when the children themselves marry they can change the last name. If the kids wanted to take mothers maiden name after divorce it is impossible.

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
7 months ago

You could just... not change your name if you don't want to?

Shea
Community Member
7 months ago

I don't see why its such a big deal to get his last name.. I think its cute

Miguel justino C
Community Member
7 months ago

This will get downvoted I promise! Many women including my wife enjoy a much more pretty name than what was given to them. You shouldn’t judge, if your dad raped you why would you hold on to that?

Chillace
Community Member
7 months ago

if i get married(unlikely) ill change my name. or we just might not change tem

TheartfulDutchGinger
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

In my country you always keep your own name. My Id has my own name on the front. On the back it says '' spouse of ...(my husbands name). '' You can choose how you want to be addressed. Your own name, spouse's name, both names. Something else that's a rule here, and what I think is messed up is when your spouse dies, the other gets a letter that says , you're no longer married. Imagine your loved one has passed and you're grieving him/her. And someone comes to tell you , your marriage has been dissolved. I think that's just wrong. When it comes to the names of your children. When married they do get the husband's name. Unless you tell the registration office that you want it differently. In the case of gay couples that adopt ,they can choose which name the child gets. All next children will then get the same last name.

Beverly
Community Member
7 months ago

It doesn't matter. Your last name is your father's name anyway.

BetterBitterButter
Community Member
7 months ago

Personally I would prefer when people have kids they create a new last name (maybe a mix of both their names or anything they both like) instead of the child having only dad's last name.

Shelby Jackson
Community Member
7 months ago

I disagree. You can chose to be married and keep your own last name. Or hyphenate. Or what one of my friends did and take part of each last name and combine it, start life with both of you having the new last name.

Jan Bregulla
Community Member
7 months ago

This is free to decide for every individual. If you don´t like it, don´t play along

Seonie
Community Member
7 months ago

My niece got her doctorate a few months before she got married. She is professionally "Dr [Previous Name]" and personally "Mrs [Married Name]" (plus, all her research was done in her old name, so it makes sense for continuity in her career that she continues using it). As someone else once said "I went to school and earned that Doctorate, not him"!

Julie
Community Member
7 months ago

In Quebec province, Canada you keep your own name when you marry. You need a pretty darn good reason to change it and it will cost you legal fees

Wouldn't You Like to Know
Community Member
7 months ago

So keep your last name, it matches your paternal grandfather or your father's. Still a man's last name.

Frankenfrog
Community Member
7 months ago

And most women bear the name of their fathers, so it's really just one sick patriarchal fest

Analyn Lahr
Community Member
7 months ago

One of my co-workers, A young woman in her twenties, is thinking that if she and her boyfriend get married, they might just pick a new name altogether.

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
7 months ago

This is going out of fashion though.

P-Rex Mama
Community Member
7 months ago

We actually went a weird way with last names. I took my husband's because it was easier dealing with all of his military paperwork. However it came out that his last name had a negative past when his parents got divorced years before. So we decided to give our kids my maiden name as their last names. My husband has said if it wasn't for the hassle it would be to change his last name we would probably have switched everyone over to my maiden name. At least our kids get a fresh start from a name with a bad past.

Not A Panda
Community Member
7 months ago

Where I live, you cannot change your last name. Your legal last name is your own family name and never changes.

Danka Hanka
Community Member
7 months ago

As a woman you usually either carry your fathers name or your husbands name - either way it’s from a man anyway.

Morgane
Community Member
7 months ago

France here. I'm married but kept my last name, and our kid has both names, my husband's and mine. However as soon as I changed my status on every administration paper (bank, insurance, etc) they ALL automatically assumed I changed my name and started addressing me the mail as Mrs husband. It pisses me off. In France, it has never been a law to take your husband's name, and you have to actually demand to take it, if you don't do anything you just keep your birth name. But everyone expects you to take your husband's name anyway.

Faith Hurst
Community Member
7 months ago

I didn't change mine and my kids got my name first. My son and his fiancé want an all new name. The easiest way to do it is for her to change hers before marriage and for him to take hers. Not sure why, but that is what they are doing.

Adriaan Verhelle
Community Member
7 months ago

Not normalized at all! Broaden your view beyond the US and you'll found countless countries where both partners keep their own last name. This is also nothing new, all my grandmothers already kept their name and they married in the 1950's (Belgium)

Deb Dedon
Community Member
7 months ago

I never changed my name but some of my former in-laws insisted on addressing me by my ex-hubby's name. Notice 'former' and 'ex'.

FABULOUS1
Community Member
7 months ago

I have never and will never change my last name and my children have my last name. While society puts pressure on you to do these things, I think it also becomes your decision as to whether or not you are going to give in to it or not.

Seabeast
Community Member
7 months ago

Get married in Quebec. Women keep their last names as a matter of course there.

Naomi Williams
Community Member
7 months ago

Maybe it's because I live in California, but I know a few couples where the man is the one who changed his last name.

Calypso poet
Community Member
7 months ago

I don't think anyone expects this anymore. It's ok to want to take your husband's name. It's ok not to. I think with children it just makes it easier to have the same last name or hyphenate, which gets complicated. My mom didn't go back to her maiden name until I turned 18 so if there was a medical emergency or school issue it would be easier because I didn't live with her.

Theoretical Empiricist
Community Member
7 months ago

I made it clear that whether or not my wife changed her name was completely up to her. When she changed her name for me (and not her two previous husbands), I felt very honored.

Miguel justino C
Community Member
7 months ago

It’s a damn choice. If it’s because of societal norms I call BS. Look at abortion, pro choice. We’re still talking about last names? Find a different battle.

Kalina Krumova
Community Member
7 months ago

I've added my husband's name to my family name with a dash (as to local law). I still present myself with my maiden name but when it comes to kids and administration, it is just easier to show the relationship connection. I think my husband does not really care I didn't replace my family name for his.

Rider
Community Member
7 months ago

Took a while for my bf to accept I wouldn't change my name if we got married. We considered both of us hyphenating or two last names. Frankly it's a pain the name change and we don't want to bother. I wont's change my name 1. I like my name 2. huge hassle (id, accts, work omg work) 3. I've made a profession with my name. 3 is the main reason for me, I made a name for myself, no one is taking that from me.

Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
7 months ago

You can get a degree after you get married though. And you can just not change your name.

Marco Hub-Dub
Community Member
7 months ago

I grew up with a hyphenated last name and, now married, I have a hyphenated last name. Also, I’m male and married to a male. When I was younger I’d always hear quips when writing my name on forms or spelling it out. In the 15 years I’ve been married, not once has someone commented on it. I wonder if it’s because I’m a man. Do women with hyphenated names still tend to get ignorant comments?

Izzy_
Community Member
7 months ago

I didn't change it immediately after getting married because we had book our honeymoon for months after and I couldn't change my passport/ticket...fast forward 8 years, still haven't my husband doesn't care =D

Keley Babs
Community Member
7 months ago

And with the children's last name too. Mom contributes half the genes, and it's her body that's destroyed while she carries and gives birth to it. This isn't the European classe system anymore. Let that old world stuff go

Uglyemo Rat
Community Member
7 months ago

I never want kids but off of what I heard the kids get the dads name.................

Two_rolling_black_eyes
Community Member
7 months ago

As a kid, I had the hyphenated last name of both parents. When I was in 6th grade, I had to fill out an official scan-tron form and it was too long. The teacher told me I had to pick a new name. Went home, told the parents, they argued with the school. School said their hands were tied - needed a name that fit the form for the government. Parents asked me what I wanted to be called. I went with dad's last name because we'd been doing some genealogy and his side was cooler (French royalty and artists vs German peasants). I was talked out of Gamgee.

Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
7 months ago

In Quebec, if you want to adopt a name other than your own, you have to go through a long legal process to discourage this practice. The children then have double-barrelled names or their choose one of their parent's names.

sylvanticx
Community Member
7 months ago

i ain't changing my name. i've decided this since before i had male cousins that i really wanted to carry on the family name, and I'm the oldest cousin, so that's my job.

Tracy Costa
Community Member
7 months ago

Way back when we still lived in Italy, women kept their last names and the children had both names. I did that and my 95-year-old aunt was shocked how traditional I was being!

El muerto
Community Member
7 months ago

you know, there are not as many countries that do that, at least a lot less than you think...my mom never change her name, and my dotter got automatically her moms last name when she was born, not in the us though

Suzy the observer
Community Member
7 months ago

Not allowed in Québec since 1982. Women keep their own names. Children usually have both names and the province has a limit of two surnames per person.

Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
7 months ago

I never changed mine

Marylen
Community Member
7 months ago

Provincial law in Quebec forbids a woman from taking her husband's surname after marriage, and I love it!

Thorfin Wolfsbane
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

If you want to be meta - every woman's last name is from their father, so no matter what, women are named for the men in their life...with the exception of Madonna or Cher or Beyonce, I guess.

Ahimsa Soul
Community Member
7 months ago

Again it depends where and whether people/women know their rights. I have a 55 year old friend who kept her name. I have a 44 yrs old friend that took his wife's name. I think most people don"t know how registry works and don't question it.

Laura Mortensen
Community Member
7 months ago

A friend of mine and her husband both changed their last names to "Samurai" when they got married.

Parmeisan
Community Member
7 months ago

I wasn't planning on changing my name. Then I overheard a conversation between my parents about how offended they were that my brother's fiancee was planning to keep her name. They took it personally. I couldn't stand the thought of my in-laws feeling that way. Probably I should have stood my ground, but the bigger problem is that our culture should not make such a big deal out of this.

Angie Buyong
Community Member
7 months ago

this is not part of our culture. we get to keep our name lock stock and barrel. no one in my family ever change their last time. why should they? i never understand this part of marriage..

Helenium
Community Member
7 months ago

i hate my new surname its Tart, i mean at the time i was excited but now im like urgh

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
7 months ago

Never took his surname, never will, the end. He was okay with it. Always has been. Thirty years in, we're fine with it. EVERYONE ELSE has a problem. I really hate when people still address me as Mrs Hisname. No, I'm Ms Myname, thanks.

Stille20
Community Member
7 months ago

In the United States it is made very difficult for men to change their name.

Sonja
Community Member
7 months ago

In our country you can choose your surname. You can have the maiden name, no problem. Or both surnames. Or your partner can get your surname. You just have to decide this before wedding. It is terrible process to change it after that.

Sky Render
Community Member
7 months ago

My fiance and I plan to merge our last names. We love both of our families, why would we want to erase either from our lives?

Telmo Belo
Community Member
7 months ago

You can both hyphenate them as a family

Amy Smith
Community Member
7 months ago

I'm not really interested in getting married, in almost 7 years with my partner we've never seen it as that important to us. I decided a long time ago that I was never going to change my name if I did get married and I will stick by it if we did.

Broken Angel
Community Member
7 months ago

My last name is both of my parents' names. it's mom's name, hyphen, dad's name.

Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen
Community Member
7 months ago

my aunt never changer her name, probably for this reason

Nicola Dimigen
Community Member
7 months ago

If I change my last name when I get married, and my sister does the same, my family name will probably die out.

Viviane
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

If it's a unique name, I can see the concern with maintaining it through the generations. Mine is common enough for me to have said, "No, I'm not related to so-so" a dozen times over the years. I haven't changed my name, but I don't have children.

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Naima Ivansdóttir
Community Member
7 months ago

not sure about this one. i never ever knew any woman who took their husbad's name. not even my parents' friends... nobody.

Mathias Karittke
Community Member
7 months ago

Mathias Karittke, born Schröder. Germany

Eslamala
Community Member
7 months ago

This is not something that happens everywhere. It's actually rather uncommon in most countries, which is why not only it's not an issue for a lot of us, but we just don't understand why it's done. I personally find it stupid, but it's also a choice...

Rukkia
Community Member
7 months ago

My cousin and her husband sat down and picked an entirely new last name for them and their children when they got married. I was really impressed with their decision to just say, we are a new family now and neither of us is changing our last name to our partners.

DKS 001
Community Member
7 months ago

what else is annoying AF is, I live with my boyfriend. I'm constantly correcting people who want to make my last name HIS. We're not married.

Lemonclouds20
Community Member
7 months ago

Let's all adopt an Icelandic tradition.

Amir Ahmed Asif
Community Member
7 months ago

Once I was asked, "if we do not carry family last names, how do we know who is the family, cousins, etc?" I replied, " Here, we see same last names, like I have two Harris's in my department, they are not related at all." I know, it is nice to utter "we are Smith's or we are Mitchell's". But, it doesn't mean 100% of the world population does it the same way

Amir Ahmed Asif
Community Member
7 months ago

Also, to expect "this name change happens all over the world, because we do it here". Different countries and different cultures are there.

Danielle Terese
Community Member
7 months ago

RIGHT! Men could change their name for family unity too!

Shawna Rachelle
Community Member
7 months ago

in my 2nd marriage. I really really regret changing my name. Now I have to go to court to change it back to what I want. Really sucks!

Scagsy
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

Heidi Klum,Sarah Jessica Parker, Halle Berry, Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey and Diana Ross are prime examples of the fact that this post is not based in fact and the whole thread is designed to stir people up with a false narrative in order to create division. Some people are actively seeking things out in order to claim 'offence!' and it drives me nuts. This is one such example. If you don't like your name, change it by deed poll, keep your maiden name, go for a double-barrelled approach or do anything else that you want. Most men don't care. They love you for who you are and not because you both share a surname. Some of you may think that I am 'mansplaining', and you're probably right but the reason that 'mansplaining' exists is for downright idiotic posts like this one where common-sense has clearly left the building. Rant over. Carry on.

Frankenfrog
Community Member
7 months ago

Whatever, boomer

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Jill
Community Member
7 months ago

In Sweden it is not all that uncommon for men to take the woman's last name. His last name might be so boring that hers is so much better. Who wants to have the same last name as everyone else? In my case, my husband took my last name.

Iffydust
Community Member
7 months ago

I want a new lastname but only cuz mind is eqvelent to "smith" in my lanuage. But my boyfriend (diffrent nationality) wants mine for same reason so we probably make a double lastname

maria christine colmenares
Community Member
7 months ago

Your life, your rules. Your marriage. Your choice. Why go through all the justifications of why you should or shouldn't change your last name?😅 Yes I changed mine because it's easier with the documents and stuff, but did it make me a lesser being standing beside my husband?🤣NO

Melvin Dragvelk
Community Member
7 months ago

No it is not. Many women have for decades and decades taken the man's name, but still used their maiden name for their profession. Think about the kids, and yourself. You will be asked all the time, at schools, doctors, airlines etc about the child. And if you use the hyphenated form of both names, what happens if you get divorced? Does the kid keep the hyphenated name? And what happens when you get remarried? DO you add a second hyphen and third name to the last name? With the divorce rate of today, I can see it now. "Hi, this is my son, Charles Smith-Jones-Thompson-Rodrigues-Jonhson-Harrison-Williams.

Frankenfrog
Community Member
7 months ago

Why wouldn't they, they are still the product of both parents. You're making it a bigger issue than it has to be

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Kimberley McMillan
Community Member
7 months ago

My friend's husband changed his name to hers.

Isabel Frost
Community Member
7 months ago

I like the idea of combining them into a new one!

Ivy la Sangrienta
Community Member
7 months ago

When I was married I hyphenated. If I got married again I wouldn't even do that. I am NOT doing that crap again.

Montana
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

Would never do it. Why would I? We are best friends, lovers but I do not owe him and he does not owe me.

Maurettis
Community Member
7 months ago

No, it's normal in America, and in several other parts of eastern europe. In more civilized countries, brides keep their family name, without anyone complaining. What's more, due to several court decisions, children may choose their family name from the mother or the father

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#12

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist When anything happens to a woman, be a crime or an accident, they're almost always referred to as a wife/mother first on a news broadcast. The fact that she's not reffered by her name first but by her relationship to others is messed up. There's always a difference when men are mentioned. It's always "local man", and then they later mention that he's a husband or a father.

amandajustvibin , Strawser Bonnie Report

Liset Vossen
Community Member
7 months ago

In the netherlands they recently referred to the royal couple as "The queen and her husband" in a newspaper, fun fact: in this case the husband is actually the monarch of the country i.e. he is the king

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#13

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Literally everything about traditional weddings. Your dad gives you away so that you can be passed from one man to another man. You have to wear a white dress, because if you're not a virgin, you're [useless]. It's bad luck for the man to see the bride on the day of the wedding because back when marriages were all arranged, if the guy saw the bride before, sometimes he would want to call it off because he didn't fancy her, and that would bring shame on...the bride. That's also why the veil is a thing. Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding.

miramimihi , Thomas Christian Report

Random Panda
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

This depends on where you live, most of these don't apply to my culture. In my country the bride and groom make their entrance together for both the civil and church marriage ceremonies. There is no giving away of the bride as part of the marriage ceremony itself.

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#14

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Shaving. If a woman doesn't shave, it's considered "manly" and "nasty". Makeup is targeted specifically towards women, and when a man uses it, he's considered less of a man.

inspirit_shinee_88 , KoolShooters Report

Kelli from Fitness Blender
Community Member
7 months ago

I personally like how my legs look when I shave them, which is why I shave them. If someone doesn't like that on themselves or just doesn't want to, they shouldn't be forced to. Same thing for makeup.

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#15

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Giving the mothers the custody on Monday-Friday, and giving the dads the weekends where they get to be the fun parent, no school, no pickups, no homework.

lindsayevz , Tiger Lily Report

Eslamala
Community Member
7 months ago

Could be avoided if parents behaved like grown ups when splitting up and work things out fairly for them and their children, though... But it seems a lot of people forget their children come first, not their mutual hatred.

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#16

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist The way society expects girls to be polite vs the way women expect men to be polite. Women are raised to be overly polite from childhood. This is a huge disservice to women — their conditioning to be polite can be so strong that it can lead to situations that put their safety in danger.

tubbybridges , Alexander Suhorucov Report

If I could I would live under water
Community Member
7 months ago

I once saw a experiment on TV, where the girl stopped saying "thank you" for a whole day. She wasn't being rude at all, was smiling when she felt like it and talking in a normal tone. Whenever her boyfriend gave her a compliment or something, or did something normal like passing the remote control or just normal relationship stuff, she answered him but didn't thank him. and by the end of the day he was absolutely mad at her, for no "real" reason. I think about this sometimes, because I say "thank you"all the time, even when it's not "my turn" to say it but men don't say "thank you" half as much, and it's totally okay.

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#17

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist I carried my baby for 9 months and birthed her, and yet she has my husband's last name.

tianatianataylor , Anna Shvets Report

Eslamala
Community Member
7 months ago

She could have yours, although yours it's your fathers....

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#18

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Why do we say "grow a pair" or "get some balls" when referring to a situation where someone needs to be strong or tough?

victoriagarrick4 , Polina Zimmerman Report

If I could I would live under water
Community Member
7 months ago

Works both ways, "crying like a girl" and "being a pussy"

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#19

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist If you're a woman and you're walking anywhere, and there's a man coming at you, they'll expect you to move to accommodate them, they won't do it for you. I started playing a little game where I don't move for the man, and the amount of times they've run into me, because they expected me to move, is actually insane.

effieelizabeth , Kaique Rocha Report

troufaki13
Community Member
7 months ago

I call bs. I'm a woman and I've noticed that it's usually the women who won't move

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#20

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist It's normalized to ask a woman "when are you expecting to have kids?". Would you ask that if I was a man? When corportations hire women, they usually anticipate that they're going to take a maternity leave and this is considered a due cost for them, and this is something that people use to justify the pay gap.

power.to.her , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Marc
Community Member
7 months ago

At least where I live, such questions are forbidden in job interviews. And rightly so. This is 2021, not 1960.

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#21

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Drinking. Everytime I order a whiskey on the rocks, men look at me like "really, you like whiskey?" Where does it say that girls are only allowed to drink wine or sangrias, and if she likes stronger drinks, she's trying to be something that she's not. And even with roles reversed, why are guys not allowed to order fruity drinks, how does that make him less of a man?

power.to.her , Terricks Noah Report

Eslamala
Community Member
7 months ago

Who the fck gives this much thought to other people's opinions, anyway? I drink whisky and the one time someone pointed it out, I replied "are we making a list of all the drinks we orderdered?' and that was it.

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#22

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist I'd have to say gift giving. Presents from "mom and dad", but the dad has no idea what's in them because mom bought them.

merry1688 , Nicole Michalou Report

Monika Rhodes
Community Member
7 months ago

That's not sexist- your partner is lazy ass if they can't be bothered to shop for their own kids.

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#23

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Our fathers walking us down the aisle whenever we get married, because that comes from a time when women were considered property. The father is giving his property away to a new man, because now the woman is supposed to be the husband's property. I feel like that should've been done with when women got rights, it's not cute. I'm not doing that.

amberereignn , Jakob Owens Report

Kay blue
Community Member
7 months ago

I have no issue with the idea of my dad walking down the aisle with me. However, I would not include the line "who gives this woman to this man".

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#24

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Organizing parties. Not only do women take care of the food, they also clean everything up afterwards. Men are just standing there unbothered.

jessisquatcher , Nicole Michalou Report

Marc
Community Member
7 months ago

Although it probably happens far too often, I find it problematic to complain about sexism - definitely rightly so - but then peddle stereotypes. Not every man is like that. Not every man is an ass. Not every man behaves like an axe in the woods. There are also men who know how to behave, who are helpful, and who certainly help at parties. Such stereotypes are neither right against women nor against men.

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#25

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Men playing video games all day. If I were to play video games all day then I'd be neglecting my kid, but when a man does it, it's a good thing that he's home and not out there cheating.

basicmichi , Alexander Kovalev Report

Jonathan
Community Member
7 months ago

Because female gamers are non-existant? How sheltered are these people?

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#26

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Girls are raised to be wives and told what they can or can't do in their present for what their future husband might like. You have to keep your "purity" because your future husband might like that, you can't wear that, you can't look this way, you can't post those videos, you have to know how to cook and clean as if those aren't human traits that we all need to know how to do as adults to stay alive. But "boys will be boys" and are allowed to do whatever they want.

laysieeeb , One Shot Report

Eslamala
Community Member
7 months ago

In what century were you raised?? This hasn't been the norm for a lot of women in a lot of different countries for at least a few decades...

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#27

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Engagement rings. We have a "symbol" on our hand saying we belong to someone else, while men get to go around and do whatever they want, no one knows if they're taken.

lindsaynoell , Jake Pierrelee Report

Jonathan
Community Member
7 months ago

But guys wear engagement rings too though.

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#28

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist When a woman decides to propose to a man, she is looked down by society. It's so normalized for only men to propose.

power.to.her , Jasmine Carter Report

Random Panda
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

It's unusual for sure, but are women who do this actually looked down on? I've never met anyone who'd think that.

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#29

29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are - Sexist Why are ships and cars referred to with the pronouns she/her? The English language doesn't really refer to things as "masculine" or "feminine". The fact that we personify these inanimate objects as women and give them female names, doesn't sit right with me. Research says that this has a variety of reasons, ranging from viewing a vessel as a motherly, womb-like, life sustaining figure, to jokingly likening a ship to a woman who is "expensive" to keep and needs a man to guide her, and a lick of paint to look good.

power.to.her , Matt Hardy Report

lunar eclipse
Community Member
7 months ago

Wat. The moon is referred as she. I like that. Grace and elegance

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