Sorry, parents, but your sons and daughters have secrets. Whether they don't want to upset you or are sick and tired of the "same old lecture," they keep some things to themselves. It's normal. And it doesn't mean they hate you or anything. Plus, there's a good chance that eventually they will open up to you. Probably. If you're treating them right.

Because as Reddit user 1quid_nurgget found out when they asked, "What is the biggest secret you've kept from your parents?", children often get back at their moms and dads by simply keeping their lives away from them. Yes, there were a few innocent answers, but they were mostly exceptions. Continue scrolling and take a look for yourself.

#1

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I told them that I was doing a extra on site learning course for uni in which I would be away for 31 days interstate. My husband sorted out the kids so he was fine.

I actually went to a residential rehab and got clean and sober. Didn’t tell them until I was released. They literally had no idea.

millypilly83 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Roman Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

GOOD. FOR. YOU!

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If you also are carrying big secrets with you, be careful. They hurt. Turns out, secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Researchers have been linking secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease. The explanation for this is kinda intuitive: hiding secrets is hard work. You have to be careful with what you say and if people ask you about something related to the secret, you must not let it slip through. This requires evasion and/or deception, which can be really exhausting.

#2

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I make more money than I let on. My parents have and will always be the "I take care of you all your life, time for you to pay it back" type of parent. Except there is no end to this "debt". So I hide money from them so they can't take advantage of me

Nagaisbae , Goumbik Report

Cynner
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom did the same when she was young. I think it is smart.

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New research, however, suggests that the harm of secrets comes not from keeping it, but from having to live with it.

To better understand the harms of secrecy, scientists set out to understand what secrets people keep in the first place. They found that 97 percent of people have at least one secret at any given moment, and people have, on average, 13 secrets. A survey of more than 5,000 participants revealed that common secrets include preferences, desires, issues surrounding relationships and sex, cheating, infidelity and violations of others' trust.

The paper states that when a person confides a secret to a third party, it does not reduce how often they have to conceal the secret from others who are still kept in the dark. Rather, it reduces how often their mind ponders about the secret in irrelevant moments.

#3

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That my sister is gay. She openly admits it to everyone, except for my family. She opened up to me, eventually but both my parents and older brother don't know about it. Since then we've become a lot closer than when we were kids.

vkuma , Kylli Kittus Report

Tara Brooks
Community Member
1 month ago

I’m so glad she has you

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Revealing a secret can feel cathartic and relieving. But mere catharsis may not be enough. When confiding a secret, the conversation that follows is what's really helpful. People report that when they share a secret with another person, they often receive emotional support, useful guidance, and helpful advice. These forms of support make them feel more confident and capable in coping with carrying the secret. So it's important to talk about what you're hiding. Even with the Internet. Anonymously. A single conversation can lead to a healthier mind.

#4

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mom always wondered why i didn't have friends in high school and it is because we were broke and I knew she was struggling so i refused anytime people wanted to do things so I wouldn't ask for money then in my last year of high school I worked full time so I had no time to make friends

winenotbecauseofrum , Antor Paul Report

Roman Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

This could be me talking. Another anecdote: in high school, one class had a three-day field trip to Mexico. I remember the first restaurant stop we had where the teacher said of course we’d have to pay for all of our food. I had maybe $2 in my pocket.

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#5

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I’m not going to finish my degree and I’ve paid off my student loans. My degree was pointless and I don’t do well in school due to my ADHD. My dad constantly asks when I’m going to finish and stop bartending...I just say soon. I hate disappointing them because my Dad gets very proud of my sister and I with our accomplishments...but truth be told, I’m quite content with the 60k I make bartending. My degree would've only pulled 35k starting.

absurdapple , thom masat Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

Time to say, "Dad, I found my niche in bartending, and it means I have more money and less debt. That's a good thing." We're not all meant for college-degree-career-things.

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#6

I am transgender. I haven't told literally anyone I know. I live in the bible belt in the south, and my grandfather is the pastor and owner of a fairly large church. I don't have any plans on telling anyone or transitioning until I move from the town I'm living in right now.

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Pepper Pots
Community Member
1 month ago

Be strong until then and remember you are not alone

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#7

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My location for the past 25 years.

Metatron_Fallen , Thanos Pal Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

There are people in my family who haven't seen me in person for nearly 30 years, and I'm keeping it that way. Don't judge til you know why we hide. In my case, for my safety.

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#8

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I met the guy my mom told me was my real father. We did a DNA test and there is a 0% chance. He even took me on a white water rafting trip with his wife and son. I’ve never told her.

the_nightcourt Report

Lousha
Community Member
1 month ago

Never liked the phrase "real parent" in this context. To my mind your REAL mother/father is the one who stuck with you and raised you and cleaned your bum when you were a baby. Biological parent is the one who contributed to your conception, but if that's all they did that doesn't make them an actual parent.

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#9

That I was molested as a kid and suicidal for years afterwards. They knew I had a nervous breakdown Freshman year of High School and was suicidal at 15, they didn't know I'd been messed up since I was 10.

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ML
Community Member
1 month ago

That is so sad

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#10

They had no idea I left my job with the cable company to sell cars / write up oil changes for almost a year. I was emotionally burnt out from the bulls**t and couldn't take it anymore so I tried switching careers. Didn't really pan out, but it did get me away from that toxic s**thole of a company and allowed me to figure out what I actually wanted to do and go from there.

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Cynner
Community Member
1 month ago

Good for you!!

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#11

My parents are very staunch Muslims. They raised me strictly in Islam and they figure that I’m a good Muslim like the rest of my siblings. I love my parents and they are good people, but I don’t have the heart to tell them that I’ve never really believed in religion and it only got worse when I got older and went to college. I don’t know how to keep this façade any longer because whenever I’m home I have to act as Muslim as possible, and I know if I would want them in my life I would have to follow Islamic traditions that just aren’t for me.

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Martha Meyer
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe some of the siblings feel the same and are just pretending too?

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#12

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents When I was 12 I saw emails on my mom's iPod touch. The emails were very suggestive and were between my mother and another man. I never told my dad that I saw those emails. I wish I did, because it turned out that she was cheating on him.

This is the first time I've mentioned it to anyone. It feels good to get it off my chest.

stitchessnitches , StockSnap Report

Megan Grey
Community Member
1 month ago

That’s really hard, but please know that it wasn’t your job or responsibility to tell her.

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#13

I want to be a dental surgeon, but my parents want me to go to school for a crackpot antivaxx "holistic" naturopathic doctor because they don't trust modern medicine. I'm afraid that if I tell them, They well refuse to pay for my college/dental school expenses, or worse, disowned.

CrimeLordOfSesameST Report

Pepper Pots
Community Member
1 month ago

Wow, that is sad. Follow your heart

Joonscrab
Community Member
1 month ago

It's very easy to say. Sometimes it's impossible to do that.

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YupItsMe1234
Community Member
1 month ago

Tell them you will go to school to be a dental surgeon first so you can learn about all the lies, then after you infiltrated the modern society, you will join the crackpot naturopathic line and know everything

Kim Lorton
Community Member
1 month ago

Go do what you love, and want to do! You may end up the best dental surgeon around, and help a great many people! With their degree they want you to get, you would just bilking hundred out of hard earned money, for treatments and pills that don’t work or are not safe.

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 month ago

Spot on!

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KT
Community Member
1 month ago

If they disown you for you wanting to follow YOUR dreams then you don't need that toxic s**t in your life. Get your own student loans

Demi Zwaan
Community Member
1 month ago

They won’t pay for dental school anyway, only for that holistic nonsense, so it doesn’t matter. Get a real education, become a dental surgeon!

Monty Is Fiennes
Community Member
1 month ago

HEY!!! Please be aware of what you write and say!!! I have been a Naturopath for 15 years and I am neither a crackpot nor an antivaxxer!!!.... 'holistic' doesn't mean you're crazy.. and in my country General Practitioners (Allopathic) use the same phrase to talk about the pursuit of PEOPLE CENTRIC CARE (Universal Health Care supported by the World Health Organisation)!!! I do not think I can cure cancer with kale.... and by using these words in a throw away fashion, you perpetrate the idea that health practioners who promote preventative medicine are all snake oil salesman. It is false....and the reason why I had to spend another $40,000 to get a 2nd degree so I could be a preventative health practioner and not be accused of being a 'crackpot antivaxx "holistic" naturopathic anything...Step outside the cage and take the time to educate yourself...

Monty Is Fiennes
Community Member
1 month ago

Sorry guys....do not noramally weigh in on this stuff, but was a bit close to the bone....take care of yourselves....everyone!! :)

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Ben Smith
Community Member
1 month ago

Let them disown you. You’ll be better off

Curry on...
Community Member
1 month ago

So antivaxxers don't ever need dental work?

Peter Buckley
Community Member
1 month ago

Get disowned ASAP...

Junebugjump!
Community Member
1 month ago

You do you. Period. It’s your life and you do not owe your parents anything. Trust me. They only have you for 18 years, you have you until you die. Due happy.

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

You can find ways to pay for school. YOu can't find ways to fix stupid.

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

You had me at "crackpot". Follow your dreams. If your parents disown you for wanting to be a dental surgeon, it truly is their loss. You can always work whilst you study. And, you may qualify for loans and bursaries.

Bunny Wood
Community Member
1 month ago

It's your life. Don't try and lead theirs

Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
1 month ago

Having had to pay my own way through university.... there are MANY choices available other than "parents pay for my education". Yes, it's harder to pay your own way, but it IS possible. The fear of being disowned... also dealt with that.... and what I've learned is that when a group of people are staunch on their beliefs (ie refuse to consider beliefs outside of their own), it will always be a lose-lose situation. ie you either risk losing them, by being different, or lose yourself by adhering to something you don't actually agree with. Regardless of what you do (action or inaction), you are effectively choosing one of the losses.

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 month ago

Wise words.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Then don’t tell them you got vaccinated the second you turned 18—or if you plan to do so when you turn 18.

*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby
Community Member
4 weeks ago

honey not to sound... insensitive but maybe being disowned wouldn't be that bad in this situation. Sure, you could keep them for the money so that you can pay for the dental surgeon stuff, but you need to tell them at least after you finish your degree/college for it. Just tell them that you're doing the mature doctor s**t? IDK, it's probably just my manipulative side coming out, but I mean... what if they find out that you believe in and trust modern medicine, and they haggle you about it for years to come? Is it a possibility that they could be putting your future family in danger? If anything, follow your heart.

Eglė Bukauskaitė
Community Member
1 month ago

Study abroad! You can tell whatever bullcrap of your subject aligning to parents' views while studying what you actually like

Bla
Community Member
1 month ago

Study in Europe, there is free. You don't need such parents who would control your life like that. Don't be dependent on them, then they can't do anything

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 month ago

Studying is free in most countries in Europe - for the citizens.

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jevais
Community Member
1 month ago

Let them pay your schooling, after all it's your life and not theirs. I feel sorry for you. I live in Switzerland were the law is such that parents are held until your 25 years old to pay for your education, no matter what you chose to do. Also parents can't disown their children. Don't tell them no matter what. Do tell them once you have a job and are financially are independent. Remember you only live once. They made their choices. The have no right to force you to follow in their footsteps. Good for you to keep up with your decision. You have taken the right path for you. Bravo!

Katinka Min
Community Member
1 month ago

How would you even treat a borken tooth the holistic way?? What do nutters like this do if they ever get somethign like a broken leg or blood poisoning or a heart attack?

Mi Shield
Community Member
1 month ago

I don't know your parents, but I'd guess that they probably won't disown you for choosing your own career.

Anne
Community Member
1 month ago

But, isn't dentistry a quite accepted profession? It even uses some naturopathic oils

Kendra Miller
Community Member
1 month ago

We have one life to lead. We have to do our best to make choices that will allow us to be happy. I would suggest, if your grades aren't high enough for a scholarship, If you don't have enough for tuition, research Colleges and universities around the world. More socialist countries tend to have lower tuition, so you could work to earn it yourself and not be left under mountains of debt.

Sheanna Caban
Community Member
1 month ago

My parents would have been thrilled if that was the path I wanted to take. You gotta do what makes you happy.

Little Flame
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Don’t listen to them, follow your heart

CatWoman312
Community Member
1 month ago

Wow that’s really sad. Again I work in collections and those pseudo science doctors end up in collections quite often...

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

The alternative is to waste years of your life on some crackpot study without any future. Doesn't seem that hard of a choice to me.

MarcAngelina Alcober
Community Member
1 month ago

well then buck up and pay for your own expenses like so many grown people do... this one is lame

S.
Community Member
1 month ago

Have you taken into consideration that this person may be, you know, poor? Unemployed? Young?

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Peter Weir
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

then get a job, earn your own money and follow what you want to do....or keep your mouth shut and suffer your choice snowflake

RoyalMoon27
Community Member
1 month ago

It's not that easy, boomer.

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#14

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents They have a grandchild.

FBI_Agent_69 , Guillaume de Germain Report

Micah Patchen
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom has never met her grandson and my dad has stopped talking to us the past six months because his catfish girlfriend is more important than his only child and only grandchild. Jackasses

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#15

They don't know how depressed I actually am.

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kjorn
Community Member
1 month ago

i guess it's a lot of people

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#16

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My parents divorced when I was eight. My dad left, and I never saw much of him. Among other issues, he came out to my brother and I before they divorced. I never told my mother that he was gay. My father passed in 2011, my mother in 2017. I think she had an idea, but we never discussed it. He was born in 1945, before such a thing was accepted, and attempted at 'passing.'

Merkle85 , Ben White Report

Iulia stratulat
Community Member
1 month ago

Why wouldn’t you tell? I can imagine that this would be a release of pressure on the parent that got dumped if they knew that it wasn’t their fault and it was just biology.

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#17

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I'm a lesbian. And that that "friend" who I don't invite home anymore is actually my ex...

Somenerdyfag , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Holly D
Community Member
1 month ago

Its sad that people have to hide things like this from family or anybody

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#18

Just how abusive my ex was.

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Holly D
Community Member
1 month ago

Same here!

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#19

i just pay escorts to show as my 'girlfriend' so they would stop telling their friends to hook me up with their daughters.
every gathering they would show up meet everyone and always have to leave early.
i pay by hour.

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nanashi
Community Member
1 month ago

as an ace, I feel this. they don't WANT to understand why I would never date, so I had to go all the way to pretend and lie just to make them feel better.

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#20

This isn't too bad, but I never really want to have kids. Maybe one day that might change, but I haven't told my parents as they both seem so happy to think that one day they'll be grandparents and that I'll be a mother and we'll all be happy and - Mum? I already have enough stress.

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Lousha
Community Member
1 month ago

As someone who did tell them about a million times for years: all you get for sharing is constant talks about how you'll change your mind eventually or you'll regret it bitterly when it's gonna be too late to have a kid.

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#21

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I thought I have mental problems but I keep pushing it down and trying to fix it myself, because I think that people will think its for the attention and it makes me question myself but I try to be normal.

Roket200678 , Soon Report

Martha Meyer
Community Member
1 month ago

Just go see a therapist. That's a neutral person, who won't think it's attention seeking.

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#22

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mom has made derogatory comments about lesbian/bi women. I think that if I came out as bi she'd make it seem like she'd accept it, but deep down she wouldn't really. I don't think I'll ever be coming out fully.

MuchoMarsupial , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

I feel bad for this person.

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#23

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I recorded Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz over my sister's high school graduation video.

It's been about 18 years, but I still feel bad.

sheldonowns , InspiredImages Report

Matthew White
Community Member
1 month ago

sorta funny if you think about it

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#24

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I’ve read or written fan fiction since I was 16 years old. I have no idea what they thought I was laughing at on my laptop for the last ten years but I’m glad they didn’t know the truth. Some of it is preeeeetty explicit.

something-sensible , You X Ventures Report

JuJu
Community Member
1 month ago

Only my partner knows and a close friend. And I know people who have read my stuff.

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#25

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I was a high functioning depressed alcoholic for my whole college life.

TimDuncanCanDunk , Matthias Ripp Report

jamie1707
Community Member
1 month ago

So many were.

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#26

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents When I was at Walmart with my mom, and I stole 2 of those big cartons full of Pokemon Cards. Took the cards and stuffed them in my backpocket. I planned the whole robbery a week before. I was the best robber at 9.

j-benz , Kichigai Mentat Report

I'm lay sheep in China
Community Member
1 month ago

Once me,my mum and Grandma was in a shop and they're selecting Jewelry for themselves while I was holding a Headpiece. It was quite expensive and that exactly moment Electricity goes off. We're wait for few minutes before Electricity came after shopping on the way to our house my mommy Was mad at me for returning that Headpiece to Shop staff anyway Guys don't let your kids teach to steal anything ;)

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#27

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I actually DID know why my laptop wasn't working. I spilt a fair bit of Jack Daniel's on it.

dramaticeffect_ , Justin Baeder Report

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki
Community Member
1 month ago

So, your laptop was drunk. Just give it a night to sober up.

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#28

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mum doesn't know I've been arrested twice, one time with my dad.

BarryShitpeas22 , Elvert Barnes Report

Brigs
Community Member
1 month ago

Some serious issues in that family!

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#29

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I have an eating disorder. I’ve had one since I was 11, and I even went to the hospital for it. They still don’t know.

Vale_M10 , melohel Report

Jo Morris
Community Member
1 month ago

When you were 11 (a child) your parents/family don't know why you went to hospital?

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#30

I know that my mom’s cheating on my dad. He doesn’t know it’s happening (to my knowledge) and she doesn’t know that I know.

throwaway28386472828 Report

Bardhi's Dad
Community Member
1 month ago

Tel her you know. That may change that unpleasant situation

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