Sorry, parents, but your sons and daughters have secrets. Whether they don't want to upset you or are sick and tired of the "same old lecture," they keep some things to themselves. It's normal. And it doesn't mean they hate you or anything. Plus, there's a good chance that eventually they will open up to you. Probably. If you're treating them right.

Because as Reddit user 1quid_nurgget found out when they asked, "What is the biggest secret you've kept from your parents?", children often get back at their moms and dads by simply keeping their lives away from them. Yes, there were a few innocent answers, but they were mostly exceptions. Continue scrolling and take a look for yourself.

#1

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I told them that I was doing a extra on site learning course for uni in which I would be away for 31 days interstate. My husband sorted out the kids so he was fine.

I actually went to a residential rehab and got clean and sober. Didn’t tell them until I was released. They literally had no idea.

millypilly83 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Roman Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

GOOD. FOR. YOU!

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If you also are carrying big secrets with you, be careful. They hurt. Turns out, secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Researchers have been linking secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease. The explanation for this is kinda intuitive: hiding secrets is hard work. You have to be careful with what you say and if people ask you about something related to the secret, you must not let it slip through. This requires evasion and/or deception, which can be really exhausting.

#2

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I make more money than I let on. My parents have and will always be the "I take care of you all your life, time for you to pay it back" type of parent. Except there is no end to this "debt". So I hide money from them so they can't take advantage of me

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Cynner
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom did the same when she was young. I think it is smart.

Kendra Miller
Community Member
1 month ago

But sad

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LuckyL
Community Member
1 month ago

On the other post about what parents should teach their children is one about this. That the children didn't decide to be born. It were the parents making this decision so the children don't owe them anything.

Tabitha L
Community Member
1 month ago

I agree. Parents chose children. An automatic obligation should not exist.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

Parents who think of their children as a long term investment usually end up as lonely old people .

IlovemydogShilo
Community Member
1 month ago

Just refuse to pay them. What's the worse they can do? They cannot punish you for the same things like they did when you were a child. If you have your own place they can't ground you and or take away TV privileges. And if they try physical punishment like slapping you either report them to the police or at least threaten to. The mere threat should be enough. It was for my Dad. He was like this. We had an argument once and he came back at me and said "you know, I can still give you a good hiding". To which I replied "try it and I will report you and I will take it all the way" I was 23 at the time. He knew I meant it. He never threatened me again. Some parents are bullies. And like bullies once you stand up to them and show you're not afraid of them anymore or won't take any more of their crap they leave you alone. Try it . It's your money it's up to you what you do with it. You don't owe them anything.

GirlFriday
Community Member
1 month ago

My SIL goes through this. Her father insists that he be given money to pay him back for raising her and her sister. It always something with him...he complains that they spend money on the children for Christmas when she owes him so much, he starts in January asking about their tax refund because he is owed. I asked her about it one time and she said that he feels her and her sister owe him for everything he spent when they were growing up. She had to have braces on her teeth as a child and it cost him $1200 and she paid him for that, her mother bought her a prom dress and he wanted paid back for that. It never ends.

Chich
Community Member
1 month ago

I would stop all contact, plus I'll bet he did not pay his parents back a dime.

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ness
Community Member
1 month ago

A parent takes care of a child because its our responsibility I couldnt imagine taking money from my daughter while using the excuse of I took care of you as a child now you have to pay back your debt. That's horrible smh.

Shelby P
Community Member
1 month ago

Parents can really suck sometimes.

Martha Meyer
Community Member
1 month ago

That's sad! I enjoyed buying my mother stuff after I started making more money than she ever did.

Carrie Laughs
Community Member
1 month ago

I expect the difference is she never asked for it or expected anything back. Any parent who thinks they have the right to their 'money back' are absolutely out of order. You are supposed to do it for the love of the child, not some future investment. What children need to realise is that you can walk away from your parents and be perfectly happy. Sometimes is a necessity.

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Cassie
Community Member
1 month ago

It's sad that that burden exists on you and on the relationship with your parents.

Bardhi's Dad
Community Member
1 month ago

You're doing the right thing

Holly D
Community Member
1 month ago

Good for you!

KT
Community Member
1 month ago

That is terrible. They made the decision to have kids, therefore the onus is on them to provide for you. You absolutely do not need to "pay them back" that is so greedy

Colleen Garland
Community Member
1 month ago

Parenthood must have different meaning to those "lovely" people.

Emma Pham
Community Member
1 month ago

... bruh, it´s your job as a parent to care for your child. They can´t care for themselves fully. And it was your choice to have a child.

Louchebert
Community Member
1 month ago

Unless the parents are poor (and even then) why would you charge your children for having taken care of them (which is basically your duty as a parent)?? The kid didn't ask to be born etc.!

Zulma Ruiz
Community Member
1 month ago

And what would happen if the son asks to be paid for all the expenses he will have in life, because they did not ask to be born, they brought him to this world without asking, in that case the parents must pay. what the hell are thinking some parents asking to be paid back

shinshige
Community Member
1 month ago

My ex-wife’s mother was like that. I don’t understand that concept, at all.

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

I've been lucky because my parents never asked me for money or for me to support them.

Monica Reed
Community Member
1 month ago

My child makes twice what me and his Dad make but when he comes home we buy groceries and take care of him like he is still a kid, what kind of parents do this!? You raise you children to of course do better than you did, this makes me sad...

Tere Ribano
Community Member
1 month ago

Same.

Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
1 month ago

parents choose to have kids.... the kid "owes" you nothing. YES, in an ideal world, family stick together in support of eachother... BUT, they don't "OWE" eachother anything, unless it's a business transaction. Too many toxic parents / family out there....

Kim Lorton
Community Member
1 month ago

That is sad, and not any reason to be a parent! This makes a quid pro quo situation, and that is beyond the saddest thing.

Rocio Palacios
Community Member
1 month ago

This Is so strange from my perspective. As a mom I expect kids to grow, find something in their lives that they can live out, and luckily enjoy doing, and move away to their own places. Why would anyone take advantadge of their own kids? It just doesnt make sense. If young adult kid decides to stay when they get a job, sit down AND talk about a living agreement where they are also responsible for aspects of daily living maintenance. This Is also good for them!

Kim
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Seriously?? That’s really shitty of her. And tbh, she chose to have children.

ravina nimje
Community Member
1 month ago

This should be given as advice to all Indian kids.

lara
Community Member
1 month ago

If you are on your own and have your own place, are they breaking in and searching your place? Or are you still living at home?

Annie Hawthorne
Community Member
1 month ago

That is so sad. It's not a debt. It is called parenting.

Thalia Lovering
Community Member
1 month ago

I can't believe that parents like that exist. This is disgusting.

Katinka Min
Community Member
1 month ago

I do think there is an obligation of children towards their parents to care for them in old age. That's how family shoudk work: the strong take care of the weak. But for the rest of one's life: Go manage it yourself. please.

InkedDreams
Community Member
1 month ago

Only from my mom.

Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
1 month ago

My extended family tried this with me... I just told them to bugger off, as I didn't "owe" them a thing for the choices they made, and I would NOT feel guilty for their choices. Best decision I made, because my sibling has literally wasted their entire life / money etc, willingly being ripped off by our parents / aunts / uncles, out of some kind of "debt". So toxic. :(

CatWoman312
Community Member
1 month ago

I think you should look out for your parents when you’ve reached financial success to some degree, but it’s a privilege not an entitlement.

Monika Rhodes
Community Member
1 month ago

When they need it yes but not 'payback because I paid for you your whole life'.

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New research, however, suggests that the harm of secrets comes not from keeping it, but from having to live with it.

To better understand the harms of secrecy, scientists set out to understand what secrets people keep in the first place. They found that 97 percent of people have at least one secret at any given moment, and people have, on average, 13 secrets. A survey of more than 5,000 participants revealed that common secrets include preferences, desires, issues surrounding relationships and sex, cheating, infidelity and violations of others' trust.

The paper states that when a person confides a secret to a third party, it does not reduce how often they have to conceal the secret from others who are still kept in the dark. Rather, it reduces how often their mind ponders about the secret in irrelevant moments.

#3

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That my sister is gay. She openly admits it to everyone, except for my family. She opened up to me, eventually but both my parents and older brother don't know about it. Since then we've become a lot closer than when we were kids.

vkuma , Kylli Kittus Report

Tara Brooks
Community Member
1 month ago

I’m so glad she has you

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Revealing a secret can feel cathartic and relieving. But mere catharsis may not be enough. When confiding a secret, the conversation that follows is what's really helpful. People report that when they share a secret with another person, they often receive emotional support, useful guidance, and helpful advice. These forms of support make them feel more confident and capable in coping with carrying the secret. So it's important to talk about what you're hiding. Even with the Internet. Anonymously. A single conversation can lead to a healthier mind.

#4

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mom always wondered why i didn't have friends in high school and it is because we were broke and I knew she was struggling so i refused anytime people wanted to do things so I wouldn't ask for money then in my last year of high school I worked full time so I had no time to make friends

winenotbecauseofrum , Antor Paul Report

Roman Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

This could be me talking. Another anecdote: in high school, one class had a three-day field trip to Mexico. I remember the first restaurant stop we had where the teacher said of course we’d have to pay for all of our food. I had maybe $2 in my pocket.

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#5

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I’m not going to finish my degree and I’ve paid off my student loans. My degree was pointless and I don’t do well in school due to my ADHD. My dad constantly asks when I’m going to finish and stop bartending...I just say soon. I hate disappointing them because my Dad gets very proud of my sister and I with our accomplishments...but truth be told, I’m quite content with the 60k I make bartending. My degree would've only pulled 35k starting.

absurdapple , thom masat Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

Time to say, "Dad, I found my niche in bartending, and it means I have more money and less debt. That's a good thing." We're not all meant for college-degree-career-things.

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#6

I am transgender. I haven't told literally anyone I know. I live in the bible belt in the south, and my grandfather is the pastor and owner of a fairly large church. I don't have any plans on telling anyone or transitioning until I move from the town I'm living in right now.

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Pepper Pots
Community Member
1 month ago

Be strong until then and remember you are not alone

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#7

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My location for the past 25 years.

Metatron_Fallen , Thanos Pal Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

There are people in my family who haven't seen me in person for nearly 30 years, and I'm keeping it that way. Don't judge til you know why we hide. In my case, for my safety.

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#8

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I met the guy my mom told me was my real father. We did a DNA test and there is a 0% chance. He even took me on a white water rafting trip with his wife and son. I’ve never told her.

the_nightcourt Report

Lousha
Community Member
1 month ago

Never liked the phrase "real parent" in this context. To my mind your REAL mother/father is the one who stuck with you and raised you and cleaned your bum when you were a baby. Biological parent is the one who contributed to your conception, but if that's all they did that doesn't make them an actual parent.

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#9

That I was molested as a kid and suicidal for years afterwards. They knew I had a nervous breakdown Freshman year of High School and was suicidal at 15, they didn't know I'd been messed up since I was 10.

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ML
Community Member
1 month ago

That is so sad

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#10

They had no idea I left my job with the cable company to sell cars / write up oil changes for almost a year. I was emotionally burnt out from the bulls**t and couldn't take it anymore so I tried switching careers. Didn't really pan out, but it did get me away from that toxic s**thole of a company and allowed me to figure out what I actually wanted to do and go from there.

Lyn1987 Report

Cynner
Community Member
1 month ago

Good for you!!

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#11

My parents are very staunch Muslims. They raised me strictly in Islam and they figure that I’m a good Muslim like the rest of my siblings. I love my parents and they are good people, but I don’t have the heart to tell them that I’ve never really believed in religion and it only got worse when I got older and went to college. I don’t know how to keep this façade any longer because whenever I’m home I have to act as Muslim as possible, and I know if I would want them in my life I would have to follow Islamic traditions that just aren’t for me.

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Martha Meyer
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe some of the siblings feel the same and are just pretending too?

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#12

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents When I was 12 I saw emails on my mom's iPod touch. The emails were very suggestive and were between my mother and another man. I never told my dad that I saw those emails. I wish I did, because it turned out that she was cheating on him.

This is the first time I've mentioned it to anyone. It feels good to get it off my chest.

stitchessnitches , StockSnap Report

Megan Grey
Community Member
1 month ago

That’s really hard, but please know that it wasn’t your job or responsibility to tell her.

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#13

I want to be a dental surgeon, but my parents want me to go to school for a crackpot antivaxx "holistic" naturopathic doctor because they don't trust modern medicine. I'm afraid that if I tell them, They well refuse to pay for my college/dental school expenses, or worse, disowned.

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Pepper Pots
Community Member
1 month ago

Wow, that is sad. Follow your heart

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#14

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents They have a grandchild.

FBI_Agent_69 , Guillaume de Germain Report

Micah Patchen
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom has never met her grandson and my dad has stopped talking to us the past six months because his catfish girlfriend is more important than his only child and only grandchild. Jackasses

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#15

They don't know how depressed I actually am.

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kjorn
Community Member
1 month ago

i guess it's a lot of people

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#16

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My parents divorced when I was eight. My dad left, and I never saw much of him. Among other issues, he came out to my brother and I before they divorced. I never told my mother that he was gay. My father passed in 2011, my mother in 2017. I think she had an idea, but we never discussed it. He was born in 1945, before such a thing was accepted, and attempted at 'passing.'

Merkle85 , Ben White Report

Iulia stratulat
Community Member
1 month ago

Why wouldn’t you tell? I can imagine that this would be a release of pressure on the parent that got dumped if they knew that it wasn’t their fault and it was just biology.

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#17

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I'm a lesbian. And that that "friend" who I don't invite home anymore is actually my ex...

Somenerdyfag , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Holly D
Community Member
1 month ago

Its sad that people have to hide things like this from family or anybody

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#18

Just how abusive my ex was.

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Holly D
Community Member
1 month ago

Same here!

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#19

i just pay escorts to show as my 'girlfriend' so they would stop telling their friends to hook me up with their daughters.
every gathering they would show up meet everyone and always have to leave early.
i pay by hour.

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nanashi
Community Member
1 month ago

as an ace, I feel this. they don't WANT to understand why I would never date, so I had to go all the way to pretend and lie just to make them feel better.

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#20

This isn't too bad, but I never really want to have kids. Maybe one day that might change, but I haven't told my parents as they both seem so happy to think that one day they'll be grandparents and that I'll be a mother and we'll all be happy and - Mum? I already have enough stress.

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Lousha
Community Member
1 month ago

As someone who did tell them about a million times for years: all you get for sharing is constant talks about how you'll change your mind eventually or you'll regret it bitterly when it's gonna be too late to have a kid.

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#21

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I thought I have mental problems but I keep pushing it down and trying to fix it myself, because I think that people will think its for the attention and it makes me question myself but I try to be normal.

Roket200678 , Soon Report

Martha Meyer
Community Member
1 month ago

Just go see a therapist. That's a neutral person, who won't think it's attention seeking.

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#22

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mom has made derogatory comments about lesbian/bi women. I think that if I came out as bi she'd make it seem like she'd accept it, but deep down she wouldn't really. I don't think I'll ever be coming out fully.

MuchoMarsupial , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

I feel bad for this person.

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#23

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I recorded Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz over my sister's high school graduation video.

It's been about 18 years, but I still feel bad.

sheldonowns , InspiredImages Report

Matthew White
Community Member
1 month ago

sorta funny if you think about it

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#24

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I’ve read or written fan fiction since I was 16 years old. I have no idea what they thought I was laughing at on my laptop for the last ten years but I’m glad they didn’t know the truth. Some of it is preeeeetty explicit.

something-sensible , You X Ventures Report

JuJu
Community Member
1 month ago

Only my partner knows and a close friend. And I know people who have read my stuff.

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#25

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I was a high functioning depressed alcoholic for my whole college life.

TimDuncanCanDunk , Matthias Ripp Report

jamie1707
Community Member
1 month ago

So many were.

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#26

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents When I was at Walmart with my mom, and I stole 2 of those big cartons full of Pokemon Cards. Took the cards and stuffed them in my backpocket. I planned the whole robbery a week before. I was the best robber at 9.

j-benz , Kichigai Mentat Report

I'm lay sheep in China
Community Member
1 month ago

Once me,my mum and Grandma was in a shop and they're selecting Jewelry for themselves while I was holding a Headpiece. It was quite expensive and that exactly moment Electricity goes off. We're wait for few minutes before Electricity came after shopping on the way to our house my mommy Was mad at me for returning that Headpiece to Shop staff anyway Guys don't let your kids teach to steal anything ;)

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#27

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I actually DID know why my laptop wasn't working. I spilt a fair bit of Jack Daniel's on it.

dramaticeffect_ , Justin Baeder Report

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki
Community Member
1 month ago

So, your laptop was drunk. Just give it a night to sober up.

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#28

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mum doesn't know I've been arrested twice, one time with my dad.

BarryShitpeas22 , Elvert Barnes Report

Brigs
Community Member
1 month ago

Some serious issues in that family!

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#29

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I have an eating disorder. I’ve had one since I was 11, and I even went to the hospital for it. They still don’t know.

Vale_M10 , melohel Report

Jo Morris
Community Member
1 month ago

When you were 11 (a child) your parents/family don't know why you went to hospital?

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#30

I know that my mom’s cheating on my dad. He doesn’t know it’s happening (to my knowledge) and she doesn’t know that I know.

throwaway28386472828 Report

Bardhi's Dad
Community Member
1 month ago

Tel her you know. That may change that unpleasant situation

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