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35
Husband In The Dark About ‘Speakeasy’ At Dry Wedding, Bride Blamed: “I Would Be Livid”
A wedding without alcohol is nothing scandalous these days. In 2023, wedding registry Zola predicted that about 4% of all weddings in the U.S. will be alcohol-free. While that’s not much, it certainly signals that not every couple wishes to have booze at their reception.
Such seemed to be the case for this couple, but the bride had a different idea. Unbeknownst to the groom, she planned a ‘secret bar’ where some guests could get tipsy. Her reasoning? To offset the wedding costs. However, the plan blew up in her face when members of both families found out, and, subsequently, the groom.
RELATED:
A bride decided to organize a secret bar at her wedding without the groom’s knowledge
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
She justified it by saying it’ll balance out the costs of the wedding itself
Image credits: Fábio Alves / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alexander Grey / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: loser_is_ana
Younger generations are choosing alcohol-free drinks at weddings and drinking less alcohol in general
Image credits: Sincerely Media / unsplash (not the actual photo)
In the past, most people probably couldn’t imagine a wedding without alcohol. It’s a celebration – and you need some booze to celebrate properly! However, that sentiment has changed over the past 10 years, as a growing amount of people realize you don’t need to get wasted or even tipsy to have fun.
Even when alcohol is served at a wedding, some people might go for alcohol-free drinks. A study by UK’s largest wedding venue, The Gilchrist Collection, found that 24% of adults choose to celebrate with alcohol-free drinks.
47% of the respondents also said they hadn’t drunk alcohol in at least one wedding they have been to in the past five years.
Young people are at the forefront of this new trend. In a 2024 survey, 59% of UK Gen Zers said they hadn’t had alcohol in the past 12 months, signaling that many young people choose to be teetotalers.
Millennials aren’t that strict, but they’re choosing to be “mindful drinkers.” According to a survey by Totaljobs, 5 in 10 millennial Britons are choosing to drink less alcohol. 66% say they’ve reduced the amount of booze they’ve consumed in the past two years.
In most cases, serving alcohol at a wedding is more expensive than having a dry wedding
Image credits: Omar Lopez / unsplash (not the actual photo)
It’s interesting that the bride justifies her ‘secret bar’ by saying that it’ll balance out the wedding costs. Wedding experts actually counter that statement, saying that dry weddings usually cost less money.
In fact, alcohol costs are often one the biggest expenses when planning a wedding. The experts at Easy Weddings point out that juice and soft drinks are way cheaper than alcoholic beverages.
“Even if the cost of the alcohol to be served at your venue is covered in the cost per head, it still adds up to a huge portion of the cost,” they write.
In many cases, you need to provide more alcohol than your guests are probably going to drink. So, that leftover booze for which you had to pay for can be a headache after the wedding.
Then there’s the bartender fee (in this story, however, it seems that a friend agreed to tend the bar), renting the glassware, even restocking costs in some cases. Perhaps this bride’s ‘speakeasy’ was so off the books and small-scale that it ended up making her a profit.
A temperance bar can replace the traditional alcohol bar at weddings
Image credits: Tá Focando / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Just because there are no alcoholic drinks at a wedding doesn’t mean guests can’t have fun with the drinks. Many caterers nowadays offer to make mocktails, which, in some cases, might garner even more interest from the guests than usual cocktails.
Diane Kolanović-Šolaja, Creative Director and Owner of Dee Kay Events in Manalapan, New Jersey, told The Knot that couples can work with professional mixologists to come up with interesting non-alcoholic drinks.
Some of her alcohol-free wedding reception drink ideas include:
- Virgin Margaritas,
- Lavender Lemonade,
- Non-alcoholic beer or wine,
- Dessert drinks, such as espresso martinis, mini milkshakes, and fruit smoothies,
- And a make-your-own-drink section of the bar.
Commenters were ruthless, many saying she’s a jerk for not telling her husband
Others defended her, saying she’s the one putting the wedding together: “Most people don’t want to go to a dry wedding”
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What do you think ?
BrownEyedPanda 5 months ago (edited)
NTA for hosting the speakeasy bar, YTA for not informing your spouse. Starting out your marriage like this isn't a good look for you. It could start your husband wondering what else you have yet to tell him. From now on, BOTH of you should be riding in the same direction at the same time in regards to decisions that affect both of you. Would YOU be pleased to discover that your husband, in spite of your family's conservative stance, did the same thing?
BeesEelsAndPups 5 months ago
Agreed. She literally started her marriage off on a lie. Not a great move on her part. If I was her husband I'd be seriously wondering about her propensity to lie and keep secrets from me.
Load More Replies...
CP 5 months ago (edited)
No matter what the reason, the Bride is creating tension by favoring certain people and she clearly knew it was a problem because she kept it from her husband. Nobody likes being part of the out crowd, and making it a secret was even worse. My new rule of thumb is to try to not do anything I wouldn't publicly defend. I don't see a good defense for the decision. Even if the husband was told and on board, it wouldn't change anything IMO.
Royal Stray 5 months ago
OP should have told her husband. But honestly it won't end well if they clearly have different views from their parents but are trying to hide it to play good children. Is it really worth it needing to sneak around at your own wedding in case your parents get mad at you?
Wang Zhuang 5 months ago
YTA for not telling your husband. Planning something without his knowledge for the wedding, particularly since you knew he'd be against it, is horrible.
Roberta Surprenant 5 months ago
If she is adult enough for marriage, she should be enough of an adult to stand up to parents. I predict divorce for this couple.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 5 months ago
Yikes... Starting the marriage with a lie is an great road into divorce.
BrownEyedPanda 5 months ago (edited)
NTA for hosting the speakeasy bar, YTA for not informing your spouse. Starting out your marriage like this isn't a good look for you. It could start your husband wondering what else you have yet to tell him. From now on, BOTH of you should be riding in the same direction at the same time in regards to decisions that affect both of you. Would YOU be pleased to discover that your husband, in spite of your family's conservative stance, did the same thing?
BeesEelsAndPups 5 months ago
Agreed. She literally started her marriage off on a lie. Not a great move on her part. If I was her husband I'd be seriously wondering about her propensity to lie and keep secrets from me.
Load More Replies... CP 5 months ago (edited)
No matter what the reason, the Bride is creating tension by favoring certain people and she clearly knew it was a problem because she kept it from her husband. Nobody likes being part of the out crowd, and making it a secret was even worse. My new rule of thumb is to try to not do anything I wouldn't publicly defend. I don't see a good defense for the decision. Even if the husband was told and on board, it wouldn't change anything IMO.
Royal Stray 5 months ago
OP should have told her husband. But honestly it won't end well if they clearly have different views from their parents but are trying to hide it to play good children. Is it really worth it needing to sneak around at your own wedding in case your parents get mad at you?
Wang Zhuang 5 months ago
YTA for not telling your husband. Planning something without his knowledge for the wedding, particularly since you knew he'd be against it, is horrible.
Roberta Surprenant 5 months ago
If she is adult enough for marriage, she should be enough of an adult to stand up to parents. I predict divorce for this couple.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 5 months ago
Yikes... Starting the marriage with a lie is an great road into divorce.
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