Woman Shares 30 “Situations When It’s Best To Lie” For Your Own Safety (New Tips)
Interview
We all know what it’s like to have that feeling in the pit of your stomach screaming that something’s just not right. Your taxi driver might be asking too many personal questions, the man that’s been walking behind you keeps getting closer and closer, or the only other passenger on your train seems to be staring you down.
It can be difficult to know how to navigate these situations, but thanks to Cathy Pedrayes, there are some useful lies we can keep hidden up our sleeves to keep ourselves safe. Below, you'll find some of the most common “situations when it’s best to lie” that Cathy has detailed on TikTok, as well as a conversation with the Mom Friend herself. So enjoy scrolling through, and be sure to take a mental note of any of these fibs you plan to utilize!
More info: TikTok | Instagram | MomFriendGuide.com
Over the past few years, Cathy Pedrayes has been sharing little white lies that can keep people safe in various situations with strangers
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If I'm leaving the house and no-one else is home I often wave as if someone's still there.
Good move. Surrounded by empty seats, and he chooses the one right next to you.
Cathy Pedrayes, also known as the “Mom Friend,” is an author, television host and bilingual social media influencer. After she started sharing safety tips on TikTok, her comments section became flooded with replies saying she must be “the mom friend of the group,” so ever since then, she’s proudly claimed the title.
“With her signature blue dress and pearls, Cathy's content includes safety life hacks, tech and cyber security,” Pedrayes’ site explains. “Her content is inspired by city living, traveling, her Latina roots and her experiences being a new mom.”
We reached out to Cathy via email to hear more about the background of this video series, and lucky for us, she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. “The series is based on training I received while working as a host on national TV (I was a QVC host),” the Mom Friend shared.
I've used that one before! I don't remember which store name I used though.
If someone would tell me their BF is tracking them I'd be honestly more worried than anything
“We were told that in public we might be approached if someone recognized us, and sometimes people are excited to see you're in their neighborhood. So they might ask questions like, ‘Do you live around here?’ or, ‘Is this your regular grocery store?’” Cathy explained. “We were taught to respond in a way that was friendly without giving away our personal details, since there was a long history of harassment and stalking amongst my colleagues.”
“For the most part, I had forgotten about this training until 2020. I was at a grocery store, and a clerk asked if I lived in the neighborhood,” the Mom Friend continued. “He was suggesting things to do in the neighborhood– I'm sure it was a completely innocent question, but all of a sudden my old training came rushing back and that scenario was in my first video.”
Cathy shared that the series began with things that had happened to her personally, and since then, she’s shared over 60 videos including her life experiences, as well as requests and inspiration from others. But she doesn’t expect to run out of content any time soon. “I thought I might run out of ideas in 2020 when I created the first version of the video, but 3 years later we're still going,” the Mom Friend says.
Surely most phones don't get signal in lifts? Unless you're making a pretend call?
We also asked Cathy why it’s so important for women to know that they can bend the truth in situations like these. “Sometimes we just need permission,” she told Bored Panda. “What's great about this series is that everyone has experienced these scenarios and in the moment been caught off-guard about how to respond. The series arms you with quick responses, so that you're not caught off-guard. It's about awareness, preparation and permission.”
I'm sorry if you witnessed a crime. You need to speak up! Otherwise, you're part of the problem and not the solution!
Cathy also says she wears her "Mom Friend" medal proudly. “I love being the prepared friend, the reliable one that people can turn to, and I think everyone needs someone like that. The downside for me is that I have no idea what it feels like to travel light!” she shared with a smile.
Since they might still harass you expecting you to have your own number memorized, there’s a handy list of fake numbers that are great for this situation. Just pick one of the still functioning ones to memorize and hand that out anytime. And give them a fake name to create the fake contact, probably the fake name you use to order food so you have it easily memorized.
While it may seem completely normal to share personal information on social media and in casual conversations nowadays, we might be unintentionally putting ourselves at risk all the time. One of the dangers that can come from revealing too much about ourselves to strangers is the risk of identity theft. Identity theft occurs every 22 seconds, the National Council on Identity Theft Protection reports, and a third of all Americans will face some form of identity theft during their lifetimes.
You can also never be too safe when it comes to traveling alone or dealing with strangers. We know not to reveal our addresses to people we don’t know, but we often forget that when taking a taxi home late at night or ordering a pizza for dinner. But sadly, the risk of being kidnapped doesn’t disappear at any point in our lives. In the United States, there were over 520k missing persons reported in 2018, and in 2020, over 4.4k people were kidnapped due to terrorism. And if you’re an online dater, be extremely cautious with what information you reveal, as internet dating sites are the most popular recruitment locations for human trafficking.
Nope. And head over to alert a staff there's someone's soliciting rides to unsuspecting travellers.
As great as it is to give others the benefit of the doubt, in this day and age, we also need to be aware of the dangers in our world. We all know to hide our valuables in safe places when visiting areas that are frequented by pickpockets, but it’s easy to forget that we can alter our language to keep ourselves safe as well. Don’t be scared to be vague or slightly dishonest with strangers. Best case scenario, they’ll never find out you were lying, and worst case scenario, they’ll never be able to track you down anyway!
I've told my step kids that if they are on a night out with friends, I'll be there to pick them up, no matter what time of night it is. There's been a couple of times when my daughter has collected a stray, one was a girl who's friends dumped her for a "joke" while she was in the bathroom and she ended up on her own, another was one who had a lot to drink, and was being hit on aggressively. My girl stepped in, said "mom's parked out front, we have to go" and got her away. On the one hand, I'm glad she's a quick thinker with common sense, but on the other, it's awful that she has to think of protecting herself and others rather than just enjoying the night.
Try to convince them that you’re just visiting a (try to shoot for a male aligning name because suckily that’s the world we live in) friend and you just like the neighborhood, unless they absolutely know for a fact that you live there. And if they’re asking about the schedules of your neighbors, that’s extremely sketchy!
We hope you’ve learned something useful from this list that you might be able to utilize in the future, pandas. Of course, it’s best not to lie in most scenarios, and it would be awesome if we could simply trust the strangers we encounter in the world. But unfortunately, that’s not always the case, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. Keep upvoting the fibs you find most brilliant, and if you haven’t read it already, be sure to check out Bored Panda’s previous article featuring Cathy Pedrayes!
That probably depends on the job to be done, but most handyjobs can be pretty noisy. Handyman: "well, the only thing I can do that won't wake him is screw. Shall we get that out of the way before the drilling?"
I wonder if many men are aware of how much situational awareness women need and just how exhausting it is to simply exist as one.
Ppl in the comments that say “just say no” are idiots. We try that. Do you think we would need lists like this if it worked? The quickest way to get a guy to leave you alone is convincing him you have a bf. Bc creepy men only respect other men. They don't take no as an answer.
Seriously, is it normal to have so much small talk with strangers? It's creepy af.
This list exhausted me. It also reminded me that I have to be consistently on my guard. It was suggested to me the other day that I take a route to work that leads through a really low speed zone in a higher crime area in the wee hours of the morning. I said no, I prefer to be in the lighted, higher traffic area. Of course, the person suggesting it is male and doesn't realize the need for this. But I appreciated his tip.
Some people don't like confrontation, and these white lies give an anxious person an option in order to avoid being rude.
Or you could just... not respond. Also, No is a complete sentence. I smile and nod like I don't understand the language or can't hear. 9 times out of 10 I get left alone after that.
Maybe it's me. I'm tall and strong - and bold. I have never felt like a victim. Once a guy tried to mug me. I was furious and screamed at him while I knocked him down. I learned early that my natural reaction to perceived danger is anger. Also, I don't put myself in sketchy situations. Look people in the eyes when you interact with them. Let them know that you're prepared to act.
Or just be me, a super introvert with extreme social anxiety who just refuses to engage in conversation at all. A stranger who wants to make small talk with me is nearly as terrifying as one who wants to murder me , so no one is getting more than one word answers or non committal mmms out of me anyway. That is if I can't just speed walk away to avoid even the question.
Just say NO and move on. You don't wanna give any reasons to anyone.
This lady's advice is way too sweet, polite and passive. You know why New Yorkers have such a reputation for being rude? Because if you ask them stuff like this, they'll tell you to go pound sand. If a cab driver is asking you inappropriate questions, you should be reporting it as they speak. And you don't owe anybody an explanation. If someone tries to talk to you and you don't want to talk, give them a dirty look and keep walking. I've had guys try to follow me, and I turned around and yelled at them, "What?!! What the f*ck do you want?!! I've got sh*t to do, so move the f*ck along!" And they backed off. It's not my personality type, but it's definitely something I've practiced in case I need it, and it's worked. It's great to be nice the rest of the time, but you absolutely should be able to whip you b*tch out if you need to.
What about when a random gives you a compliment? This has happened a few times, that I get a compliment from usually an older male, and then they expect my gratitude or time or whatever in repayment. Its always awkward af
"Why would you ask such a personal question?" "Have you found JC or god or transcendentalism?"
You're falling into the societal trap that because you're a woman, you owe strange men an explanation. You don't, and they're not entitled to one. "No" is sufficient. If he persists, loudly say, "I said no! Please leave me alone." All you're doing is stressing yourself out and promulgating the idea that you have to explain your actions to strangers.
It's sad that this is needed today, like things that used to be normal small talk or just being friendly is now making people (me included) uncomfortable. That should speak for how unsafe it's gotten if nothing else
I wonder if in such a situation where it would work, (and if you are bilingual) one could pretend to not speak the language and answer in a different language? Or would that make them think you are a foreigner/tourist and therefore vulnerable?
The list of people here who cannot wrap it around their shrivelled brains that women need such tricks because often enough sex pests don't take "no" for an answer... Honestly, incels and bitches. Do you really believe you are the most clever in the room? If you don't get why such a list is made - ASK. Don't assume automatically that everyone else must be stupid.
If I am walking and I see a woman walking towards me and she is alone, I immediately cross the street. Women are always having to go out of their way just to feel safe and I think more of us men can find little things we can do to help women feel safe. I don't need a pat on the back or anything, I just wish more men would be conscious of how frightening it can be for a woman to simply walk down the street.
It's truly sad. This is living by fear!!! You have the right to response and say NO! I refuse to hide behind theses lies!
Why are you being polite to a stranger who is asking you questions? Ignore them. Give them the side-eye and walk.
Put an app on your phone that doesn't allow people to call you if their number isn't already in your phone. I have one and even parents (I'm a teacher) who can WhatsApp me can't call me.
I wonder if many men are aware of how much situational awareness women need and just how exhausting it is to simply exist as one.
Ppl in the comments that say “just say no” are idiots. We try that. Do you think we would need lists like this if it worked? The quickest way to get a guy to leave you alone is convincing him you have a bf. Bc creepy men only respect other men. They don't take no as an answer.
Seriously, is it normal to have so much small talk with strangers? It's creepy af.
This list exhausted me. It also reminded me that I have to be consistently on my guard. It was suggested to me the other day that I take a route to work that leads through a really low speed zone in a higher crime area in the wee hours of the morning. I said no, I prefer to be in the lighted, higher traffic area. Of course, the person suggesting it is male and doesn't realize the need for this. But I appreciated his tip.
Some people don't like confrontation, and these white lies give an anxious person an option in order to avoid being rude.
Or you could just... not respond. Also, No is a complete sentence. I smile and nod like I don't understand the language or can't hear. 9 times out of 10 I get left alone after that.
Maybe it's me. I'm tall and strong - and bold. I have never felt like a victim. Once a guy tried to mug me. I was furious and screamed at him while I knocked him down. I learned early that my natural reaction to perceived danger is anger. Also, I don't put myself in sketchy situations. Look people in the eyes when you interact with them. Let them know that you're prepared to act.
Or just be me, a super introvert with extreme social anxiety who just refuses to engage in conversation at all. A stranger who wants to make small talk with me is nearly as terrifying as one who wants to murder me , so no one is getting more than one word answers or non committal mmms out of me anyway. That is if I can't just speed walk away to avoid even the question.
Just say NO and move on. You don't wanna give any reasons to anyone.
This lady's advice is way too sweet, polite and passive. You know why New Yorkers have such a reputation for being rude? Because if you ask them stuff like this, they'll tell you to go pound sand. If a cab driver is asking you inappropriate questions, you should be reporting it as they speak. And you don't owe anybody an explanation. If someone tries to talk to you and you don't want to talk, give them a dirty look and keep walking. I've had guys try to follow me, and I turned around and yelled at them, "What?!! What the f*ck do you want?!! I've got sh*t to do, so move the f*ck along!" And they backed off. It's not my personality type, but it's definitely something I've practiced in case I need it, and it's worked. It's great to be nice the rest of the time, but you absolutely should be able to whip you b*tch out if you need to.
What about when a random gives you a compliment? This has happened a few times, that I get a compliment from usually an older male, and then they expect my gratitude or time or whatever in repayment. Its always awkward af
"Why would you ask such a personal question?" "Have you found JC or god or transcendentalism?"
You're falling into the societal trap that because you're a woman, you owe strange men an explanation. You don't, and they're not entitled to one. "No" is sufficient. If he persists, loudly say, "I said no! Please leave me alone." All you're doing is stressing yourself out and promulgating the idea that you have to explain your actions to strangers.
It's sad that this is needed today, like things that used to be normal small talk or just being friendly is now making people (me included) uncomfortable. That should speak for how unsafe it's gotten if nothing else
I wonder if in such a situation where it would work, (and if you are bilingual) one could pretend to not speak the language and answer in a different language? Or would that make them think you are a foreigner/tourist and therefore vulnerable?
The list of people here who cannot wrap it around their shrivelled brains that women need such tricks because often enough sex pests don't take "no" for an answer... Honestly, incels and bitches. Do you really believe you are the most clever in the room? If you don't get why such a list is made - ASK. Don't assume automatically that everyone else must be stupid.
If I am walking and I see a woman walking towards me and she is alone, I immediately cross the street. Women are always having to go out of their way just to feel safe and I think more of us men can find little things we can do to help women feel safe. I don't need a pat on the back or anything, I just wish more men would be conscious of how frightening it can be for a woman to simply walk down the street.
It's truly sad. This is living by fear!!! You have the right to response and say NO! I refuse to hide behind theses lies!
Why are you being polite to a stranger who is asking you questions? Ignore them. Give them the side-eye and walk.
Put an app on your phone that doesn't allow people to call you if their number isn't already in your phone. I have one and even parents (I'm a teacher) who can WhatsApp me can't call me.
