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Someone Asked “What Is Something You Say To Scammers Instead Of Hanging Up?” And 50 People Gave The Best Responses
According to a recent report by Truecaller, around 68.4M Americans (26%) have fallen victim to a phone scam in the past 12 months. While the numbers are rising, so is awareness, as some of the biggest scams in America are continually exposed in the media to prevent people from falling for fraud. In fact, people opt for various ways of dealing with scammers. Most hang up, others download robocall blocker apps, and, well, some give them a taste of their own medicine.
A while back, someone asked the Ask Reddit community, "What is something you say to scammers instead of hanging up?" Over 15K people jumped on the thread to share their experiences replying to scammers. From funny replies to scammers to scammers getting pranked themselves, people shared how to reply to scammers in many original ways. Hanging up is one way of reacting; however, taking time to respond is, in fact, doing a public service. Sure, you might be wasting your time, but at the same time, you are wasting scammers', meaning less time to find more victims to prey on.
Below, we've compiled some of the best replies from the thread featuring people pranking scammers themselves. Make sure to upvote the responses to scammers you enjoyed the most, and let us know whether you reply to scammers!
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"My grandfather let them do their whole speech for about 20 minutes. He then told them he didn't have his hearing aid in and asked if they could repeat it all. They hung up immediately."
"Had a very pushy insurance salesman want my address so he could meet me in person to better show the value of his products or some nonsense. I gave him the address of a brothel. Got an angry call back a couple of days later saying that I gave him the wrong address. I told him I thought he was looking for someone to screw over and then hung up on him."
"Depends on the scam call. Recently I’m getting a lot of “we’re calling in regards to your recent car accident” I relied on “how dare you! I died in that accident!”"
"Scammer was Indian, I'm Indian, I put on my Indian accent then accused him of putting on a bad fake Indian accent to make fun of me and told him he should be ashamed of himself. It was a few seconds of fun."
"Just start chanting in Latin. Most hang up quickly. One begged me not to curse her family."
"You've reached the FBI telephone fraud division, how may I help you?"
"I once got a scammer to say "I love you too." It was one of those resort/vacation calls and I kept him in the line for his whole spiel. When he asked who else would be vacationing with me, I asked if he would go with me. I was like, ”It will save on airfare because you're already there.” Ended up with him saying he had to end the call and I was like, ”Okay. I love you.” And he reflexively goes ” I love you too". The high point of my life."
"Mr. Smashing Stuff, I'm calling about an accident you were involved in that wasn't your fault."
"Oh it wasn't an accident, I meant to hurt those people."
The pause you get before being immediately escalated to a 'manager' is like a crack to me."
"I whisper into the mic to make them turn the volume on their headsets up then suddenly start yelling."
"I have two things I do. 1) I try to sell them WiFi. I personally have nothing to do with internet services. But I can guarantee that my services are the cheapest in town and seeing as how you called me you must be interested. Now before you think “man I’m really not gonna get as good a deal as I’d like.” I can promise no buffers and high-quality streaming at a fraction. Yes, you heard it a fraction of what you currently are paying, if you just give me your first and last name we can get the ball rolling. No one has ever lasted that one.
2) in a very heavy southern accent. “Now the lord spoke to me today and he told me that I’d be bringing another one of his lambs that had been led astray back into the flock, I’m gonna open this conversation with a prayer real quick.” Most people hang up. Some and very few last through my 10-minute prayer. After that, I go straight into asking about their addictions and why the lord is telling me about how their browser history is causing demons to enter their home."
"I always screech "welcome to shining dragon buffet you place an order" if they ask anything else I get angrier and go "YOU CALL SHINING DRAGON BUFFET, PLACE ORDER OR GET OFF MY PHONE". I'll probably get into trouble one day but its a lot of fun."
"Hello, sir. This is the Microsoft Office. We're calling to inform you that your computer is infected with a virus."
"My computer?"
"Yes, sir. And if you do not take steps to correct it we will be forced to shut down your system remotely."
"Which one?"
"What?"
"Which computer? I have a couple."
"The one running Microsoft Windows."
"They all run Microsoft Windows."
"Yes, well, I am showing they are all infected." (you can literally hear him salivate.)
"So you're monitoring my systems right now?"
"Yes."
"Despite the fact that doing so is a violation of multiple federal laws?"
*Click*
"Me - do you believe in our lord and savior Jesus Christ? Them - yes
Me - he wants you to quit calling."
"I once saw caller ID (landline days) with a number that I figured was a telemarketer. In a “tough” voice, without saying hello I asked, “Is he dead?” And about a beat and a half later I said, “Because if he ain’t dead, don’t you even think about coming back here.” Then what sounded like a young woman on the other end said, “Um, uh, uh Bye!” Hope she had as much fun telling her friends as I had telling mine."
"I keep them on the phone for as long as humanly possible. I switch up the conversation, ask questions, stray completely off topic, slip in a few personal questions and just do whatever I can do to waste as much of their time as I can. My personal record is over 15 minutes of useless conversation which ended with me trying to proposition the male caller for sex. (For the record, I am a straight male and I assume that the caller was also straight.) I've been able to get an Indian telemarketer named Allen or Alex to give me his real name and location, and one telemarketer to stray from the script and admit that like me, he's also tried drugs. In one instance I was able to get the caller to admit that she hated her job and was only doing it to put herself through school. As much as I despise getting calls, I also try to remind myself that they are human beings, doing a job that everyone hates them for, and they probably hate themselves. I figure, at least perhaps I'll give them something fun to talk about after they get off of work."
"If they are calling about windows and doors, I tell them I live in a tent. "You are calling a tent, did you know this?" If they call about HVAC, I tell them I live in a castle, and we heat it in the wintertime by burning witches."
"My new thing is to heavily troll them for as long as possible. If they're going to waste my time with endless calls, well then I'm going to do the same. Here's a good one - I recently encountered a very low-tech health insurance scam that used an actual phone line and not a spoof. I called them back literally over 1000 times for two days straight and eventually got to the main person. He actually pleaded for me to stop calling and apologized profusely, lol it was very satisfying."
"I can't talk right now, I'm actually here to rob the place."
cool then you need the crowbar 2000. it makes breaking into places easier and quicker
“HELLO, caller number two! You’re on with The Sturge at numbitty 902 WA3DFM. What do you have to say about the Lizard Illuminati?”
"I usually get the duct cleaning guys calling so I will just yell out to my wife and ask if the ducks need to be cleaned. I will respond back that we are good. They will keep pressing and I will keep playing on them eventually I will be like the ducks are cleaned but if they have any fix for the quacking that would help. The call ends right after."
"I pretend to be the dumbest guy in the world.
Them - “You should update your home's security”
Me - “Like how?”
Them - “A camera on the front door is a good st..”
Me (interrupts) - “Front door? My front door is on the side of my house. How will that work? Do you have a side door camera?”
Them - “Yes sir of course. We have many dif...”
Me (interrupts again) - “PHEW! I have looked for so long for a side front door camera salesman. You, sir, are my savior. Are you married?”
"You’ve reached your local morgue, you slice ‘em, we dice ‘em. How can we help you?"
hello welcome to timmys pizzaeria where yesterdays loss is todays sauce how can i help you
"I used to get a lot of “home security” calls offering alarm systems and cameras. I would of course ask all the curious questions and then lead them to believe I was using the alarm system and cameras to keep people inside the house."
dont want them escaping again am i right then i have to go through all the hassle of grabbing them and putting bear traps at the top
"I got the IRS call on my day off one day while sitting on the porch. You know the deal. If you don't get X amount of Visa Gift Cards the police will come etc. So I stayed in the line for like an hour playing dumb- like saying which target do I shoot to get the gift cards cuz I'm at the gun range, do I have to drive or can I order online, etc- then since my morning coffee had begun to do its work and it was getting hot outside? So the guy once again told me if I don't comply the cops will come. I say send them. He says oh no, all we need is 2k or whatever it was. I say no again, and this time he tells me the police are on the way. I say where I can see the local station from my house. I'm told they are undercover (why? It's an IRS thing but I digress). I tell him since they aren't here I'll just go turn myself in and that I'm walking there. Cue panic on the other line. Saying everything he can to get me to go to Target (even Walmart works now!), I tell him too late just got to the station (bathroom), and that I'm gonna put him on with the desk clerk so they know how to book me. The dude hung up immediately. Which was a bummer, cuz I was about to pull out a wicked Boston accent and play dirty cop. But instead, I continued with the coffees work.
almost fell for the IRS one they woke me up from a nap on my day off. about had a mental breakdown.
"I only do this if I'm at home... I scream. They stop talking..when they start talking again I scream again. "Sir are you okay?!" "I'm taking a sh*t and I swear it's coming out sideways! Oh god please keep talking it helps!" Then repeat steps one and two until they hang up."
"I sometimes try to sell them stuff. I once spent 45 minutes on a slow day at work trying to sell a 120 kg vibrator to some dude."
"I ask them to confirm my information for security purposes. Breaks their script and they don't know what to say!"
I have done this before the floundering for a line afterwards is so funny
"Flip the script on them. Hello, thank you for returning our call. We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
"I wait 15-20 seconds in complete silence then let out the loudest god-awful screech I can manage and listen to them scramble to take off their headset in complete panic."
"Just to let you know, by law I'm required to inform you that this is a premium phone line that will be billed directly to your provider. By calling here you agree to accept all charges. Something like that not only gets them to hang up, but they tend to stop calling me after that."
"I usually go for "The person you are calling is deceased and their death is currently part of an ongoing investigation. Please stay on the line as we may need to jot down your personal information." My grandmother picks up every call even when she knows it's a scammer, but she usually just says "Not interested." And hangs up. Showed her my way of doing it one time and she thought I was a crazy person."
"I usually respond with: "Is it your first day?"
"On the job?"
"No, on Earth."
"I was like 8-10 years old and had someone call asking if I was a homeowner. Had them on the phone for 5 minutes straight having them repeatedly explain what a homeowner is. They hung up, I was so proud."
Asked me simmilar thing And happily wanting to buy all of my properties. I let him speak, then Said "dude, I am 18 yo broke a*s student, I dont even own a car"
"Is this what you wanted to be when you grew up?"
"My dad used to get a lot of Viagra salesman. So he pleads with them to stop sending free samples because he's too hard all the time and can't live his life."
"I tell them my name is Billy Madonna, and I drive a '93 Toyota Paseo. Then I start getting pissed when they tell me they actually CAN'T give me an extended warranty on my car. I mean, why can't you?! YOU called ME, and the machine SAID I could get an extended warranty. THAT IS FALSE ADVERTISING! LET ME SPEAK WITH YOUR SUPERVISOR!"
I say I am mark from Nebraska and that I am 58 and a corn farmer who has trouble using their phone
"My son always tells them "I have a belly button". Leaves them speechless."
Now say it in an excited deep man voice like you JUST figured it out.
"I take a deep breath and let out a continuous raspberry. (fart noise with your tongue) for as long as I can. When I stop to take a breath I usually hear "..uh.. hello?" And then I take a big breath again and continue. No one has made it to two full raspberries before hanging up on me."
"Do you tell your friends and family you steal for a living?"
"My favorite one is to just go along with whatever they want, using fake names, then when they ask for my credit card number I tell them it's out in my car in the parking garage, and tell them I'll go grab it, then just put them on hold until they hang up. My longest-ever holder was almost a half hour."
If they left a caller ID you could call back and then tell them you got the wrong card then do it again
"My dad once got a scam call at dinner saying he won a trip to Orlando or something similar. He replied with the biggest, most excited voice: "ORLANDO! I LOVE ORLANDO! THAT'S WHERE MICKEY IS!! I LOVE MICKEY!!" Then he hung up."
"My brother told me that he sometimes starts to purposely talk in broken English, as soon as he realizes that it’s a scammer. He would pretend to be very interested in whatever they were selling. Then just as it seemed like a sale was certain, he would start asking questions that showed that he really didn’t understand what was being offered for sale or what he has to pay. No matter how much the scammer tries to explain, my brother will at first appear to get it and then will continue not to understand. This goes on until the caller finally hangs up in frustration, sometimes cursing him out first."
"I say OH MY GOD THERE IS A SHARK IN MY HOUSE I HAVE TO GO BYE!!!"
dont do this you dont wanna be the boy who called OH MY GOD THERE IS A SHARK IN MY HOUSE.
"I just give the phone to my 7yo and he just curses a blue streak."
"Grab a metal skillet, place it on the phone, and bang the thing with a metal spoon. Perfect response."
"Tell them you don't have this common thing they're calling about. For example, calling about windows checking? Sorry, I live in a basement, and I have no windows. My child got in a car crash and I need to pay? It's a miracle, my child has died a few weeks ago and suddenly they're alive and in a car crash! Are you a wizard who can revive the dead? Amazing! Just confuse them and waste as much time as you can, bonus points if you make them feel like sh*t."
"Got a call from a lady who said she can save me hundreds on my insurance. My insurance is $167. So you giving me money now that's sick."
"Ask them for their personal phone number so I can call them on there when I’m off work. Gets hung up pretty quick."
"I give them a phone number one digit at a time and ask them to repeat it as a whole after each one. Then tell them they got it wrong when I'm done and start over."
"I usually have to answer the phone because I need to figure out if it's a potential job calling. If it ends up being a telemarketer, then I usually have some funny excuse on why I can't buy what they're selling. My funniest one was as follows:
ME: [Pausing a video game I'm playing] Hello?
TM: Hello! I'm here to present a great internet offer for you today, let me start first by asking how much do you pay for internet?
ME: Uhhh Nah, I don't pay anything. I just steal my neighbor's internet.
TM: [pauses to stifle laughter] ah okay well would you be interested in Spectrum internet?
ME: Not unless you can beat free!
TM: [muffled discussion; TM says "I'm not being disrespectful] Okay thank you for your time! Have a good day!"
"My dad's classic line is: I can't talk right now, my house is on fire."
Better off dead! "Sorry, gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire." Even better when he says he ant talk right now cause his grandma took acid and kidnapped a bus full of penguins...
"When I'm not feeling creative, I just tell the truth.
SCAMMER: You bought tech support from us last year.
ME: No, I didn't.
SCAMMER: Yes, you bought our tech support package. It's about to expire.
ME: There isn't anything to expire.
Etc. They're not supposed to hang up, so they try for a long time before finally giving up. I regard wasting their time as a minor public service."
I do "911 What's Your Emergency?" they hang up. then techically, 911 can trace your number. they literally p**s their pants.
"I usually start with "Just so you are aware this conversation is being recorded for your and my safety." I usually either get cussed out or they hang up right away."
Use that one too. And if I call a company with a complaint or something, and I have to go through a menu wich mentions the call can be recorded "for training purposes" it often makes a difference when I say I am also recording...
"If I catch they’re telemarketers or scammers I usually try to take their order. “Domino’s pizza, can I take your order?” If they catch me off guard and I have the time, I try to weird them out. “What are you wearing?” “Have you washed your teeth today?” They hang up before I do. It’s fun."
"So, what is your password?" "Kyarewthu. Big K, small cyrylic Ya, Polish ew, Icelandic eth, Turkish dotless i. No bot will ever brute force this."
"Hi there, and thanks for calling Cardiff Aquarium. Please be aware your call may be recorded for training purposes."
"Would you like to try out a three-day trial of our adult diapers?"
Yes actually, that way I don't have to wait for someone to let me outside...
"I just say, "My Mommy is not home right now!"... "I said my Mommy is not home right now!!!" Throw a tantrum."
For some reason I have baby voice.. A Long time people thought a kid picked up And asked for my mom, then Said I must say to mom they called, and then they hang up. I am single lady living on my own😂
"Respond to every question with, "And then?" until they hang up."
"Heavily flirt."
"Hi sorry this is my work line, so I don’t take personal calls on here! Here’s my home phone: insert the phone number of another known scammer/other prank call number here call me there later and we can talk! Works better for texting-based scams, but would probably work for calls too."
"I get a lot of scam calls about accidents. I go along with it but pretend the accident involved hitting my head. I fake amnesia and make the conversation go around in circles until they get frustrated and hang up."
"I will let Jim Browning know about what is going on here, thanks! If you don't know, Jim Browning is what scammers check under their beds for at night."
"When they start asking for information, I ask... You called me... You should know all of that already... They hang up..."
"I act like I'm really glad they called. I tell them I've been hoping they would call. I'm effusive in my excitement. They usually hang up immediately."
My mom does this on speaker and the reactions are priceless! She asks how their family has been, what they've been doing in their free time, etc.
"Start talking about how miserable your life is. Make crap up about how your dog died, and your wife left you, and you lost everything and you just got fired and you just lost your job and now you owe the IRS 20000 too! Keep talking for a bit until you start talking about how “My life is terrible, nothing could ever go right for me again, I’m just gonna end it all.” Then google the sound of a gunshot and play it at max volume right next to the phone. Just listen to the chaos that is happening on the other end of the line then hang up after a minute."
I don’t want to sound like a Karen but, suicide isn’t something to joke about. As someone who has experienced suicidal thoughts, it’s not something I want joked about. It’s been fun y’all imma get banned for this one
"I kept a "SS Administration agent" on the phone for well over 2 hours (we were in prime covid lockdown so I had the time). He wanted me to prove my innocence of a crime that my SS# was tied to (murder, kilos of Cochise, and money laundering). The only way to show I was a victim of identity theft was to use all my money and buy Amazon gift cards. Even got in the truck and turned it on to drive around the block. I got back in the house and the scammer wanted the codes off the back. I told him I bought Nike cards bc they were out of Amazon (Jerry Parker was not pleased, but that he could still verify my identity using Nike). So here I am with "my life savings of $375 in Nike gift cards" and I start having reservations about scratching the cards. At this point, he starts threatening an arresting agent will be sent to my house and getting hostile. Told me to go F myself and when I asked what I should do with the Nike cards, he said to shove them up my ass. Despite that, he would not hang up. I kept asking for supervisors and ways to call him back or verifiable contact info for his friend in the FBI, but it wasn't until I overheard his supervisor come by and give him the ok to hang up. Wasting their time is a great way to get removed from their call list!"
"As a kid, it was my mom/dad dead then fake crying and screaming till they hung up. In college "DeeDees used ammunition if we can't kill it, it's immortal." As an adult, I give the phone to my 8-year-old and ask him to tell them everything he wants to about animals..."
"My mom had one last week and she started hitting on him! " your voice is so sexy are u single?" He asked to be her sugar baby. She laughed hysterically and hung up."
"I learned the Hindi phrases: "He aakaash, yah bos hai. kya aapane is saptaah pahale hee 30 logon ko dhokha diya hai? apana anubandh yaad rakhen. yadi aap nahin karate hain, to aap parinaam jaanate hain" Which translates to: "Hey Akesh, this is boss. Have you already scammed 30 people this week? Remember your contract. If you don't, you know the consequences."
"I once repeated "uh huh, go on.." over and over until they got really irritated and then just hung up on me."
"I tell them my mother said to me not to talk to strangers and ask them to call me on FaceTime."
Anyone who’s still here upvote me, I want to see who’s left.
"When it is a social security scam, I pretend I am really old, so so scared, and can’t hear very well. When they ask for my name, I spell it very loud and slowly every time. My go-to name is Ethel Beavers. I tell them “my social”—not really— but forget the middle and start over again and again so I never really tell them a whole number... or I leave off two digits and get very confused when they tell me they need more numbers. They usually hang up around the second spelling of Ethel Beavers."
"This is 91.7 KSCM The Bridge, you are the seventh caller and YOU WON! Are you excited? ARE YOU EXCITED????"
"My teacher got a call from the AA in the middle of one of one her lessons, and she answered the call, and left it open for the rest of the lesson, telling the woman on the other side to “let her finish taking attendance” etc. When the lesson ended, she made the class shout “she’s not interested!” And then she hung up."
"I always answer scam likely calls in Kermit's voice, they always laugh and hang up laughing."
"Yes, I want to extend my warranty. My 2010 Ram 1500 has 350k miles on it. Ok, thank you."
"Yeah, and it's only been in one accident! They were able to get the frame absolutely straight again!"
"Hello, how are you, I'm under the water, please help me, here too much raining ughughgurhaughraughihaugh."
"Not quite a scammer, but during the last election, I repeatedly got calls and texts from the local Democrat party branch. On one particularly egregious day where I received multiple calls within just a few hours, I picked up, and instead of just hanging up I told them that if they ever called me again I would vote for Trump. Call volume vastly decreased after that point; not sure if it was actually what I said or not, but I like to think it helped."
In 2012, I had a week old baby. Canvasers were constantly knocking and waking her up. So I posted a note on my door that said if you wake my baby, I'll vote for Romney. Worked wonders.
"They ask if we want to sign up for solar panels. I always say I live in an igloo. There’s no room up there for anything. They usually hang up after that."
We just tell them we already have solar panels. We especially love taking the door to door sales people around to the back yard, and showing them, and telling them how we were the first house in our town to get them, and how the inspectors in town had no way to know if they were installed correctly, they came back 3 times to check.
"Not me, but my boss will play along with the scammer until it gets to the point where they want to send him a check. At that point, he gives a fake name (usually Hugh Jass or Hugh Janus) for them to make a check out to, then when the check arrives he displays it proudly in the office."
"I always ask them where they're calling from. It usually trips them up to some degree. If they say they're local, I ask them follow-up questions. Sometimes they play along, but usually not. Another thing I like to do is just answer the call but not say anything."
"Talk to them then ask them to hold on for a second, grab a pot and something metal or wooden, check to make sure they are still on the phone and tell them just one more second, then place the phone under the pot and proceed to bang the sh*t out of it... yep."
"Play along for as long as possible, just giving them fake details. You can tell the frustration slowly builds but they're still trying to be all nice and helpful."
"Hi, We have been trying to reach you about your car's warranty. Thats great, what plans can you offer me on my 97 geo metro? I've only been in 6 wrecks. they usually just give up."
"I once had one yell, cuss at me, and hang up. Do you know those ones where a scammer pretends to be an “IRS agent” and needs your Social Security information? In this case, the guy introduced himself as “Officer Daniel Bryan”. Anyway, I strung him along for a good 20 minutes or so, then got bored with it. So I told him to knock it off, and he threatened to come to arrest me. I asked if he showed up to arrest me, and I asked if he was Daniel Bryan, would he respond by going “yes. Yes. Yes! YES! YES! YES!”. And then he swore at me and hung up."
"Oh hang on, let me get the, they'll be able to help you! Then just turn the microphone off and go about my day."
"Tip for Canadians. If you get scammers calling about whatever credit card, car, anything the like. Just answer in real brutal French. I use “alló, bonjour. Comma cest va?” ( sorry native French speakers, I haven’t written any French down since grade 9). They’ll get right pissed and hang up quickly."
"Talk to them normally for a few seconds and then just scream bloody murder. Try to sound panicky and tell them to call 911 repeatedly, no other info just "Call 911, please! I'm being murdered." It helps if you have applesauce you can mush around for effect."
please dont, since they do have your number you could get a person that is a real good person that calls them and then you end up wasting 911's time looking for you
"Lead them as far as you can go without giving any details and then hang up, or better still say you just need to get your bank card and leave them hanging."
"I've put them on hold before. As if I'm working in a call center. Had a guy on hold for 5 or so minutes it was quite ridiculous that he stayed on the line."
"I just sing the one-winged angel lyrics."
Noice................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................SEPHIROTH
"Hold on, I don't actually make any decisions in my household. You can talk to my cat. He runs the house" *Pass phone to my sleeping cat*
I actually feel sorry for the people doing the phone calls. I swear if I had that job i would be jumping off a bridge after a half a day. But yeah. They are annoying AF.
Them hello,how are you. Me fine but ,there is blood everywhere,what do you want done with the body. How long before the cleaning crew gets here ? Then : dialtone.
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"Oh hello, it's great that you called today! I really need to talk to someone about our lord and saviour"
He has many names, but we know him as the Great Skyroach, may the stars shine upon His Holy Exoskeleton for all Eternity, amen.
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“Hey um sorry, I have to go to a fish funeral. It drowned. Catch u later?”
In robot voice, "You have reached [insert phone number here]. If you want to p**s someone off, press 1. If you want to kindly f**k off, press the hangup button."
Might be a bit culturally insensitive, but I always go "Hello, Al Kaida secret recruitment center. We will blow your life up." XD
I have the most sure fire way to avoid 99 percent of scam calls. When it's a number you don't recognize...don't answer the phone. It's 2022, not 1987, most of the human population has cell phones. Don't answer the call.
Yeah I’ve given up answering unknown numbers if I’m not expecting a call. Such a high percentage of it is spam now. I also just hang up if I answer one by mistake, no point in “winning”.
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My family had a scammer that kept calling even after my dad cussed them out. So I took matters into my own hands. There’s a particular Rammstein song called Mein Teil and it’s known for—among other things—a particular bit in the middle that sounds like someone screaming in pain. I put my speaker up to the phone and played it full blast. They never called back.
My dad once got a scam call and answered with "City morgue, you stab em, we slab em" and I actually heard the dude on the other end yell "aw HELL nah" and hang up.
Lol. My mum was a nurse before she retired, she just says, "let me tell you about my bowels" before going into horrifying medical speak on the subject of bowels. No-one has ever stayed the course.
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Related to the "whisper, then yell" one: talk quiet till they're straining to hear. Then, blow an air horn into the phone. HOOOOONNNKKKK! 😈
Then, get your phone repaired because you destroyed the microphone.
Load More Replies... In clear, unaccented American English: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I can neither speak nor understand English."
I took one semester of Russian in college, so when I get a telemarketer I recite Russian poetry in response to anything they say. Them: May I speak to the home owner? Me: Ночь, улица, фонарь, аптека. (Literally all I can say in Russian is this poem, "vodka please" and "I am the machine!"
Thank you for all of these ideas. My 81 year old mother is very frustrated and annoyed by all the scam calls she gets. I will share some of these strategies with her.
With my inlaws I taught them to use text and whatsapp only as first port of call even with their friends. They eventually got it. Once their friends were doing that as a protocol (text first), they were able to ditch their landline and ignore calls thereafter.
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A good friend of mine usually just starts quoting random videogame dialogues until the salesperson on the phone is so confused they just hang up. Nobody made it past her Final Fantasy VII dialogue so far.
I need to try this. "Hey, so I've come to call you about your cars extended warran--" you'll get the hang of it eventually. It's like riding a bike. Except the bike turns into a pastel horned devil. And you're the bike. "Extended warranty -" hello, I am the canonical npc "wa--" Nice weather today right "warran--" RIGHT "...ty."
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I say "I've done it, but there's so much blood!" and then hang up. Occasionally I wait to hear the sweet sound of confusion.
I just pretend to be a Karen. Them: Hallo, Your Daughter was in a accident. Me: EXCUSE ME!!! DID YOU JUST ASSUME THE GENDER OF THEM. HOW DARE YOU?? I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!! Them: Mam, calm down! Me: HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I'M FEMALE?! I AM A THEY/THEM!!!!
My brother-in-law tells them he's listening, but as soon as they start talking he interrupts at the top of his lungs: "Excuse me, IF YOU KIDS DON'T STOP THAT NOISE I'M COMING IN THERE! I'm sorry, continue. I MEAN IT, YOU BETTER SHUT UP NOW! Go ahead, you were saying. THAT IS IT, I AM GOING TO COME IN THERE AND BREAK BONES!" This just escalates until the scammer hangs up. P.S. My sister and her husband don't have any kids in their house.
“So now that we’re besties, I can tell you my secret talent! I’m really good at impressions! *do some bad impressions* alright, now my best one, a dial tone!” *hang up*
I got my first ever scam call yesterday! Unfortunately I couldn’t toy with them because it was prerecorded so I just said “Bruh” and hung up
"Ooh you sound hot what are you wearing?" I had a guy hang up on me but then called back to asked me on a date. Funniest part was I was at work
I never experienced that, but if it happened, I'd be like "hey you wanna hear about cassette beasts? Cool ok so..." and I proceed to explain the entirety of cassette beasts. If they somehow make it through that, then I'm going on a Warriors rant about how mapleshade's kits technically should have gone to the dark forest and that queens shouldn't tell their kits that if they're bad tigerstar will get them
And remember, if all else fails, sing something annoying
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My choir teacher will pretend to only speak Spanish, and my Mariachi teacher has everyone in the class play their instruments really loud.
"Welcome to Laser Headed Screaming Duck! What would you like to order?"
Random Latin screaming is my personal favourite, closely followed by reciting the illiad nonstop until the go away
"Exotic Butters, our special today is Mongolian yak butter with Himalayan pink salt. How may I place your order? We also are running a special on our Icelandic butters, we have three included in our newest sampler set. What part of the world would you like to visit today?"
I’ve never managed to catch a scam caller in the wild, unfortunately. All I get are bots.
We need to differenciate telemarketers and scammers, though. Most of the formers are just trying to do their job. Been there ages ago; I did not last one day. It is a tough job.
I always lead the conversation to sex. They mumble an little and hang up. . One of my sons answers the phone using a foreign accent and says, "Thank you for calling SuddenLink. My name is Kevin how may I help you today?" (SuddenLink is our local internet provider) He then tries to sell them different packages if they haven't already hung up.
When an Internet provider calls hawking its service, I always reply "I have a theory about the Internet." "What is it?" "I don't believe that it's possible."
I do this creepy demon voice that sounds kinda robotic and they always give up when I say something like "you have reached h3ll, how can I help you?"
I have a downstairs toilet which is very handy when scammers call as I grab some water from the kitchen, usually from the kettle if it still has any water in it then I go into the toilet and start slowly pouring the water into the bowl whilst whistling loudly, only stopping when they stop talking. Throwing a few grunts and fake farts into the mix helps set the scene too. :D :D
I have mixed feelings about this. It's certainly fun to do, but the vast majority of these people are just doing their job. Granted, the telemarketing industry shouldn't even exist, but I don't want to be mean/ruin the day of some random person just trying to earn a paycheck.
"Just doing my job" is the absolute WORST excuse for bad behavior that has ever been invented.
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A few I've used: "I would like to buy a conservatory but I live in a second floor flat. Do you do them with stilts?" "Hello, I'm calling from $company and there's a problem with your account." "There certainly is. I haven't got one." "I work for fraud investigations. Could you confirm a few details please?" Then there was the person who put the phone next to a radio and had the caller talking to the interviewer.
Not a scam, but just as annoying. My work phone was one digit different to the local bakery. Every day I'd get a call from some little old lady " Hello my name Doris, I'd like to order one loaf of bread." I'd explain the phone number problem, give her the correct number and hang up. Next day, same thing, and the next for months. Eventually one day I said "Yes" and took the order. She never called again. Maybe she starved to death.
reminds me of the Cutts the Butcher issue in Marlinspike (Tintin reference).
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I'm awaiting the day I get another spam call so I can go "John's cafe and pet cremation! You bring em we burn em! How can I help you today?"
If the have an Indian accent, ask where they're calling from. If they say India, ask them about the weather, what type of elephants they have, do they have any good curry recipes, etc. If it's trying to sell heating products, solar panels, etc. tell them that if they could give you a nice curry recipe, then you wouldn't need heating.
Pretend to be a recording ... " For (xyz ) please press 1, for ( abc ) please press 2, etc.etc."
I love telling the car warranty people that I don't drive because I'm blind. Tends to shut them up.
On an evening talkshow here in denmark they once had an old lady talk about how she messed with scammers. She'd sometimes keep them on the phone for hours! She'd pretend to be hard of hearing and not understanding sh*t so she'd ask them to explain whatever they just said over and over again. She said she'd often just put the phone down on a table next to her and knit or watch TV and then every now and then she'd pick up the phone and pretend she just didn't quite understand what scammer said and as he starts over again she'd just put the phone down and continue knitting. Her theory was that the longer she kept the scammers occupied with her the fewer innocent ppl would be scammed by them.
I’ve pretended that our lines got crossed and I’m having a conversation with my mom and I’m reading my credit card number to her while she can’t understand and I keep repeating and jumbling it. Got a guy to listen to my one way “conversation” for like 10 minutes. “Hey mom!” Did you got the card info from ———— ? Oh well you got a pen I have it with me. Ok ok. It’s visa number blah blah blah blah”. While inserting crazy stories about family members and getting everything mixed up. And once they think they are listening in on a conversation and might get money from it. They become quiet. Most hang up once they can’t “talk to me”. It’s fun
I sometimes lean my phone up against the speaker and have them listen to a conspiracy theory or murder podcast. I had one person actually stay on for 15 minutes. I wonder, if they gained some knowledge they didn't have before :)
Man, all the ones I get are robots. You can't even have any fun with them.
Lots of great joking here, but the method I actually use is to let all calls from unknown numbers go to voicemail. My outgoing message says "Please leave a message. If you don't, your number will be permanently blocked". And I follow through on that. Not particularly entertaining, but my life is peaceful.
This is Officer Krupski. The phone you're calling was found on a body that was mangled beyond recognition and apparently had their wallet stolen since there is no ID. Can you tell us who you were calling, please?
Sounds great, I'll take it! But my credit card got cancelled for nonpayment, so now I only use cash. Can you come by to pick it up?
answer the phone and pretend you are a police detective at a crime scene and this is the murder victims phone
Best things we found was getting an answering machine. Turned the volume to low/off and they never leave messages but if it is someone we know we can answer it.
My favorite scam calls I’ve gotten are the hostage ones . “We have your brother/father etc. They hit our car and we’re going to kidnap them and kill them if you don’t pay for the damages”. First time was to see how many meows I could get into the convo until they got angry enough to hang up. Second time was to seem reeally/creepily into the details of how they were going to torture/kill the relative (who was sitting right next to me at the time).
I tend to get these on my work cell often. All I say is complete honesty. I work for a state run correctional facility and this is a state issued cell phone. They hang up immediately. On my personal phone I just say I’m not interested, have a nice day and hang up. The ones who are just doing a sales job are real people just trying to work and don’t need another person being rude. The scammers deserve the rudeness but I end the call too quickly to figure out which. 🤷🏻♀️ But some of these are hilarious!
I usually just press buttons when I know it's a scam call. I like how they have the little water drop sound now before they speak though
A couple years ago my grandma got a spam call, she put on this really frail old lady voice and led him on for a couple minutes before loudly cussing him out and hanging up.
A couple of days ago I watched a Mark Roper (the glitter bomb guy) video on YT about how he used his evil genius to unmask and get several Indian call centers shut down.
I have given the phone to my kid telling them it's Santa and to list every they want. My work phone (Aust federal govt), I let them k ow they have rand a govt phone and what they are doing is illegal, very quick apology and hang up.
Learn a couple of words from some random small languages. I don't speak much Dutch, but I can just ask to switch the conversation to Dutch. Gets rid of them and reduces the number of calls I get in the future.
Hmm ... Assuming Basic is a serbo-croatian name, you have 3m croats and 7m serbs. Dutch is like 29m. So actually a small language would be serbian / croatian. Just fwiw. In our country we have 11 official languages... and most people speak about 4. So the way this would work here is you'd have to switch to a non-african non-germanic language like Serbian or something. угодан дан даље.
Load More Replies... I love these. Very Rarely is the world so back and white like here. Scammers are scum
“God damn it jimmy, I told u not to let them see the body! Wait…. Ur not jimmy, r u?”
Αυτοί είναι άνθρωποι που τηλεφωνούν για να σας πουλήσουν κάτι. Οι απαντήσεις είναι πράγματα που εμποδίζουν τους ανθρώπους να καλούν να πουλήσουν. Κυρίως περιλαμβάνει να κάνεις πράγματα όπως να κάνεις δυνατό θόρυβο, να προσποιείσαι ότι είσαι ηλίθιος.
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My friend once did this. Scammer: Hello? *megalovania plays softly* Scammer: Hello sir- *Megalovania blasts*
I keep them on the line as long as posible. I ask them to repeat or ask how that would work for me. I go ohhhhh I don't quite get it. I slowly talk softer and softer. When they are very loud I scream scammmmmmerrrr And hang up.
"Hold on, I don't actually make any decisions in my household. You can talk to my cat. He runs the house" *Pass phone to my sleeping cat*
I actually feel sorry for the people doing the phone calls. I swear if I had that job i would be jumping off a bridge after a half a day. But yeah. They are annoying AF.
Them hello,how are you. Me fine but ,there is blood everywhere,what do you want done with the body. How long before the cleaning crew gets here ? Then : dialtone.
Load More Replies... "Oh hello, it's great that you called today! I really need to talk to someone about our lord and saviour"
He has many names, but we know him as the Great Skyroach, may the stars shine upon His Holy Exoskeleton for all Eternity, amen.
Load More Replies... “Hey um sorry, I have to go to a fish funeral. It drowned. Catch u later?”
In robot voice, "You have reached [insert phone number here]. If you want to p**s someone off, press 1. If you want to kindly f**k off, press the hangup button."
Might be a bit culturally insensitive, but I always go "Hello, Al Kaida secret recruitment center. We will blow your life up." XD
I have the most sure fire way to avoid 99 percent of scam calls. When it's a number you don't recognize...don't answer the phone. It's 2022, not 1987, most of the human population has cell phones. Don't answer the call.
Yeah I’ve given up answering unknown numbers if I’m not expecting a call. Such a high percentage of it is spam now. I also just hang up if I answer one by mistake, no point in “winning”.
Load More Replies... My family had a scammer that kept calling even after my dad cussed them out. So I took matters into my own hands. There’s a particular Rammstein song called Mein Teil and it’s known for—among other things—a particular bit in the middle that sounds like someone screaming in pain. I put my speaker up to the phone and played it full blast. They never called back.
My dad once got a scam call and answered with "City morgue, you stab em, we slab em" and I actually heard the dude on the other end yell "aw HELL nah" and hang up.
Lol. My mum was a nurse before she retired, she just says, "let me tell you about my bowels" before going into horrifying medical speak on the subject of bowels. No-one has ever stayed the course.
Load More Replies... Related to the "whisper, then yell" one: talk quiet till they're straining to hear. Then, blow an air horn into the phone. HOOOOONNNKKKK! 😈
Then, get your phone repaired because you destroyed the microphone.
Load More Replies... In clear, unaccented American English: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I can neither speak nor understand English."
I took one semester of Russian in college, so when I get a telemarketer I recite Russian poetry in response to anything they say. Them: May I speak to the home owner? Me: Ночь, улица, фонарь, аптека. (Literally all I can say in Russian is this poem, "vodka please" and "I am the machine!"
Thank you for all of these ideas. My 81 year old mother is very frustrated and annoyed by all the scam calls she gets. I will share some of these strategies with her.
With my inlaws I taught them to use text and whatsapp only as first port of call even with their friends. They eventually got it. Once their friends were doing that as a protocol (text first), they were able to ditch their landline and ignore calls thereafter.
Load More Replies... A good friend of mine usually just starts quoting random videogame dialogues until the salesperson on the phone is so confused they just hang up. Nobody made it past her Final Fantasy VII dialogue so far.
I need to try this. "Hey, so I've come to call you about your cars extended warran--" you'll get the hang of it eventually. It's like riding a bike. Except the bike turns into a pastel horned devil. And you're the bike. "Extended warranty -" hello, I am the canonical npc "wa--" Nice weather today right "warran--" RIGHT "...ty."
Load More Replies... I say "I've done it, but there's so much blood!" and then hang up. Occasionally I wait to hear the sweet sound of confusion.
I just pretend to be a Karen. Them: Hallo, Your Daughter was in a accident. Me: EXCUSE ME!!! DID YOU JUST ASSUME THE GENDER OF THEM. HOW DARE YOU?? I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!! Them: Mam, calm down! Me: HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I'M FEMALE?! I AM A THEY/THEM!!!!
My brother-in-law tells them he's listening, but as soon as they start talking he interrupts at the top of his lungs: "Excuse me, IF YOU KIDS DON'T STOP THAT NOISE I'M COMING IN THERE! I'm sorry, continue. I MEAN IT, YOU BETTER SHUT UP NOW! Go ahead, you were saying. THAT IS IT, I AM GOING TO COME IN THERE AND BREAK BONES!" This just escalates until the scammer hangs up. P.S. My sister and her husband don't have any kids in their house.
“So now that we’re besties, I can tell you my secret talent! I’m really good at impressions! *do some bad impressions* alright, now my best one, a dial tone!” *hang up*
I got my first ever scam call yesterday! Unfortunately I couldn’t toy with them because it was prerecorded so I just said “Bruh” and hung up
"Ooh you sound hot what are you wearing?" I had a guy hang up on me but then called back to asked me on a date. Funniest part was I was at work
I never experienced that, but if it happened, I'd be like "hey you wanna hear about cassette beasts? Cool ok so..." and I proceed to explain the entirety of cassette beasts. If they somehow make it through that, then I'm going on a Warriors rant about how mapleshade's kits technically should have gone to the dark forest and that queens shouldn't tell their kits that if they're bad tigerstar will get them
And remember, if all else fails, sing something annoying
Load More Replies... My choir teacher will pretend to only speak Spanish, and my Mariachi teacher has everyone in the class play their instruments really loud.
"Welcome to Laser Headed Screaming Duck! What would you like to order?"
Random Latin screaming is my personal favourite, closely followed by reciting the illiad nonstop until the go away
"Exotic Butters, our special today is Mongolian yak butter with Himalayan pink salt. How may I place your order? We also are running a special on our Icelandic butters, we have three included in our newest sampler set. What part of the world would you like to visit today?"
I’ve never managed to catch a scam caller in the wild, unfortunately. All I get are bots.
We need to differenciate telemarketers and scammers, though. Most of the formers are just trying to do their job. Been there ages ago; I did not last one day. It is a tough job.
I always lead the conversation to sex. They mumble an little and hang up. . One of my sons answers the phone using a foreign accent and says, "Thank you for calling SuddenLink. My name is Kevin how may I help you today?" (SuddenLink is our local internet provider) He then tries to sell them different packages if they haven't already hung up.
When an Internet provider calls hawking its service, I always reply "I have a theory about the Internet." "What is it?" "I don't believe that it's possible."
I do this creepy demon voice that sounds kinda robotic and they always give up when I say something like "you have reached h3ll, how can I help you?"
I have a downstairs toilet which is very handy when scammers call as I grab some water from the kitchen, usually from the kettle if it still has any water in it then I go into the toilet and start slowly pouring the water into the bowl whilst whistling loudly, only stopping when they stop talking. Throwing a few grunts and fake farts into the mix helps set the scene too. :D :D
I have mixed feelings about this. It's certainly fun to do, but the vast majority of these people are just doing their job. Granted, the telemarketing industry shouldn't even exist, but I don't want to be mean/ruin the day of some random person just trying to earn a paycheck.
"Just doing my job" is the absolute WORST excuse for bad behavior that has ever been invented.
Load More Replies... A few I've used: "I would like to buy a conservatory but I live in a second floor flat. Do you do them with stilts?" "Hello, I'm calling from $company and there's a problem with your account." "There certainly is. I haven't got one." "I work for fraud investigations. Could you confirm a few details please?" Then there was the person who put the phone next to a radio and had the caller talking to the interviewer.
Not a scam, but just as annoying. My work phone was one digit different to the local bakery. Every day I'd get a call from some little old lady " Hello my name Doris, I'd like to order one loaf of bread." I'd explain the phone number problem, give her the correct number and hang up. Next day, same thing, and the next for months. Eventually one day I said "Yes" and took the order. She never called again. Maybe she starved to death.
reminds me of the Cutts the Butcher issue in Marlinspike (Tintin reference).
Load More Replies... I'm awaiting the day I get another spam call so I can go "John's cafe and pet cremation! You bring em we burn em! How can I help you today?"
If the have an Indian accent, ask where they're calling from. If they say India, ask them about the weather, what type of elephants they have, do they have any good curry recipes, etc. If it's trying to sell heating products, solar panels, etc. tell them that if they could give you a nice curry recipe, then you wouldn't need heating.
Pretend to be a recording ... " For (xyz ) please press 1, for ( abc ) please press 2, etc.etc."
I love telling the car warranty people that I don't drive because I'm blind. Tends to shut them up.
On an evening talkshow here in denmark they once had an old lady talk about how she messed with scammers. She'd sometimes keep them on the phone for hours! She'd pretend to be hard of hearing and not understanding sh*t so she'd ask them to explain whatever they just said over and over again. She said she'd often just put the phone down on a table next to her and knit or watch TV and then every now and then she'd pick up the phone and pretend she just didn't quite understand what scammer said and as he starts over again she'd just put the phone down and continue knitting. Her theory was that the longer she kept the scammers occupied with her the fewer innocent ppl would be scammed by them.
I’ve pretended that our lines got crossed and I’m having a conversation with my mom and I’m reading my credit card number to her while she can’t understand and I keep repeating and jumbling it. Got a guy to listen to my one way “conversation” for like 10 minutes. “Hey mom!” Did you got the card info from ———— ? Oh well you got a pen I have it with me. Ok ok. It’s visa number blah blah blah blah”. While inserting crazy stories about family members and getting everything mixed up. And once they think they are listening in on a conversation and might get money from it. They become quiet. Most hang up once they can’t “talk to me”. It’s fun
I sometimes lean my phone up against the speaker and have them listen to a conspiracy theory or murder podcast. I had one person actually stay on for 15 minutes. I wonder, if they gained some knowledge they didn't have before :)
Man, all the ones I get are robots. You can't even have any fun with them.
Lots of great joking here, but the method I actually use is to let all calls from unknown numbers go to voicemail. My outgoing message says "Please leave a message. If you don't, your number will be permanently blocked". And I follow through on that. Not particularly entertaining, but my life is peaceful.
This is Officer Krupski. The phone you're calling was found on a body that was mangled beyond recognition and apparently had their wallet stolen since there is no ID. Can you tell us who you were calling, please?
Sounds great, I'll take it! But my credit card got cancelled for nonpayment, so now I only use cash. Can you come by to pick it up?
answer the phone and pretend you are a police detective at a crime scene and this is the murder victims phone
Best things we found was getting an answering machine. Turned the volume to low/off and they never leave messages but if it is someone we know we can answer it.
My favorite scam calls I’ve gotten are the hostage ones . “We have your brother/father etc. They hit our car and we’re going to kidnap them and kill them if you don’t pay for the damages”. First time was to see how many meows I could get into the convo until they got angry enough to hang up. Second time was to seem reeally/creepily into the details of how they were going to torture/kill the relative (who was sitting right next to me at the time).
I tend to get these on my work cell often. All I say is complete honesty. I work for a state run correctional facility and this is a state issued cell phone. They hang up immediately. On my personal phone I just say I’m not interested, have a nice day and hang up. The ones who are just doing a sales job are real people just trying to work and don’t need another person being rude. The scammers deserve the rudeness but I end the call too quickly to figure out which. 🤷🏻♀️ But some of these are hilarious!
I usually just press buttons when I know it's a scam call. I like how they have the little water drop sound now before they speak though
A couple years ago my grandma got a spam call, she put on this really frail old lady voice and led him on for a couple minutes before loudly cussing him out and hanging up.
A couple of days ago I watched a Mark Roper (the glitter bomb guy) video on YT about how he used his evil genius to unmask and get several Indian call centers shut down.
I have given the phone to my kid telling them it's Santa and to list every they want. My work phone (Aust federal govt), I let them k ow they have rand a govt phone and what they are doing is illegal, very quick apology and hang up.
Learn a couple of words from some random small languages. I don't speak much Dutch, but I can just ask to switch the conversation to Dutch. Gets rid of them and reduces the number of calls I get in the future.
Hmm ... Assuming Basic is a serbo-croatian name, you have 3m croats and 7m serbs. Dutch is like 29m. So actually a small language would be serbian / croatian. Just fwiw. In our country we have 11 official languages... and most people speak about 4. So the way this would work here is you'd have to switch to a non-african non-germanic language like Serbian or something. угодан дан даље.
Load More Replies... I love these. Very Rarely is the world so back and white like here. Scammers are scum
“God damn it jimmy, I told u not to let them see the body! Wait…. Ur not jimmy, r u?”
Αυτοί είναι άνθρωποι που τηλεφωνούν για να σας πουλήσουν κάτι. Οι απαντήσεις είναι πράγματα που εμποδίζουν τους ανθρώπους να καλούν να πουλήσουν. Κυρίως περιλαμβάνει να κάνεις πράγματα όπως να κάνεις δυνατό θόρυβο, να προσποιείσαι ότι είσαι ηλίθιος.
Load More Replies... My friend once did this. Scammer: Hello? *megalovania plays softly* Scammer: Hello sir- *Megalovania blasts*
I keep them on the line as long as posible. I ask them to repeat or ask how that would work for me. I go ohhhhh I don't quite get it. I slowly talk softer and softer. When they are very loud I scream scammmmmmerrrr And hang up.
