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78
“Sorry, I’m Just A Receptionist”: Woman Declines To Babysit Niece After Being Mocked
Treating other people with the dignity and respect they deserve sounds like a no-brainer, right? Unfortunately, some folks like to have their cake and eat it, too. They insult you and then ask for a favor. And then they have the audacity to act surprised when you no longer want to do them any favors.
Redditor u/Equivalent-Kingg went viral after asking the internet for its advice on a very awkward, uncomfortable family situation. She shared how her sister-in-law took great pains to insult her career, only to then ask her to work as an unpaid babysitter. When the author refused, things took an emotional turn for the worse. You’ll find the full story below. Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment. We’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
RELATED:
It’s bonkers to insult someone’s career and then ask the person for a favor. Right?
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, that’s what happened to this woman. She revealed how her sister-in-law had a go at her and was later shocked when she enforced some healthy boundaries
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
Image source: Equivalent-Kingg
Real friendships require mutual respect, trust, and effort. If you’re always giving more than you’re getting, the other person may be taking advantage of you
Image credits: Christina @ wocintechchat.com (not the actual photo)
It’s completely common sense to be polite when talking to others. If you have any concerns about your loved one’s career path or life choices, you can raise them in a respectful manner.
However, if all you’re doing is doling out (unproductive) criticism and trying to put them down, that’s not helpful at all. In fact, it seems like you’re boosting your own ego at the expense of someone else’s confidence. In a nutshell, it’s the adult form of bullying. Just a tad more subtle than what happens in schoolyards.
Saying ‘no’ to your family and friends can be incredibly hard. However, enforcing those boundaries is healthy, necessary, and helps protect your interests. In short, you want to live life in a way where your kindness doesn’t constantly come at the expense of your wants and needs. You can be altruistic, so long as you remember to take care of your interests, too.
One good question to ask yourself is, would the person you’re constantly doing favors for do the same for you?
Some other questions you might want to ask include:
- Are they willing to sacrifice their own time, energy, and finances to help you when you need a hand?
- Do they make promises they never keep? Do they keep finding excuses when you need a favor?
- Do they treat you in a way that makes you want to spend time around them? Do they inspire and energize you, or do you feel drained and anxious when you’re around them?
- By helping the other person, are you always placing your needs on the back burner?
- Do they treat you like an actual human being, or do they see themselves as superior?
Friendships are meant to be a two-way street. There’s a give-and-take dynamic at play there that makes things fair. If one person is selfish and also disrespects the other, it shakes the foundations of that relationship.
Boundaries are there for a reason. In fact, they can help strengthen your relationships, making them healthier and fairer
Image credits: LinkedIn Sales Solutions (not the actual photo)
According to Sharon Martin, DSW, LCSW, boundaries are the “invisible lines we draw to define acceptable and unacceptable behavior.”
She explains in a piece on Psychology Today that boundaries encompass many things, from how much time we dedicate to others and how we expect to be treated to how much of ourselves we share. Both emotionally and physically.
“They allow us to maintain our sense of self, build trust, and foster healthy, fulfilling relationships. Boundaries can be difficult to set and maintain, but they’re essential in all relationships. Without them, we’re susceptible to mistreatment, manipulation, resentment, and exhaustion,” Martin points out.
Time magazine stresses the fact that it’s vital to communicate your boundaries calmly and clearly. For instance, you could tell the other person that if they say or do one thing, then you will respond by doing something else.
In a nutshell, you’re being transparent, making sure you’re all on the same page, and delineating the consequences that will follow if your boundaries get trampled.
The important thing is to be very clear. This isn’t the time for wishy-washy vagueness or over-the-top politeness. Be friendly but firm. Make sure your needs are heard.
On the flip side, this also means that you should respect the other person’s boundaries, too. Boundaries are an opportunity to strengthen your relationships, rather than damage them.
What are your thoughts, dear Pandas? How would you have reacted if you were in the author’s shoes and your sibling-in-law demanded you babysit for them after insulting your career? Has anyone tried to guilt-trip you into working as an unpaid babysitter before? If you’re in the mood for sharing, feel free to visit the comments section at the bottom of this post.
The author shared that she was willing to fight for her mental wellbeing and what’s right
Quite a few internet users were shocked by how the woman’s SIL treated her. Here’s their perspective
The sad reality is that situations like this aren’t rare. Some readers shared their similar experiences
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What do you think ?
Kate Johnson 6 months ago
I would "let it go" by living as if SIL doesn't exist. So I would never answer a call from her or respond to a text. When in person I'd ignore her entirely as if she wasn't in the room. No arguments, no babysitting, no nothing. Just full gray rock treatment from that point forward.
JayWantsACat 6 months ago
They always couch it as "you're punishing a kid". Like, no, YOU DID by being an ungratful, entitles ahole.
Khavrinen 6 months ago
It's not punishing the kid anyway, it's punishing the parent. It's not like having a babysitter is some big treat for a kid, the whole reason babysitting exists is so the PARENT can do something without having to be responsible for their child for a while.
Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess 6 months ago
Remember, whenever someone says be the bigger person or keep the peace, they are really saying eat s**t so I won’t be inconvenienced or have to do anything about it. This is one of life’s great truths and will completely change your perspective. Anyway, my policy is if someone says no offense and then says something offensive, I always interrupt if I can and say “if you have to say no offense, you know you are going to be offensive so you should just stop talking.” Same with “I’m not a racist but…”
Dirk Daring 6 months ago
There's a major difference between "being the bigger person" and being a doormat. OP made the right call.
Tabitha 6 months ago (edited)
I think what’s missing here is what SIL does for a living, if she works at all. OP could’ve had an even better comeback for her, regardless of what SIL’s job is. If SIL is a doctor or lawyer, believe me, those people cannot function without the support of all their staff, especially the receptionist. If SIL is a SAHM, then OP can say she gets a paycheck every week and what does SIL get, besides s****y diapers and puke. (Before you get your panties in a wad, I am not knocking SAHMs. But I would hope a SAHM would have more sense than to knock what someone does for a living, because not all of us, including the married ones, can afford to quit our jobs and run a household and raise children—-a HUGE expense—-on one paycheck.)
Chewie Baron 6 months ago
I’ve been a receptionist before - I know! - and it’s a hell of a lot more than “just answering phones all day!” You’re the face and voice of the company. You set the initial tone of a visitor or caller’s view of what they’re going to experience.
Chewie Baron 6 months ago
Oh, I should have mentioned, it was the reception of a gay male sauna. I kid you not. Blimey, some of the stories I could tell you all from there. Sigh.
Load More Replies...
Anna Drever 6 months ago
People choose whether or not to be rude to others. SIL made her choice and now OP is making her own choice right back. Sucks to be SIL.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 6 months ago
hey, 1% pollsters, lemme holla at you outside for a sec. i just wanna talk...
Janissary35680 6 months ago (edited)
Typical case of brain not being engaged before mouth is opened. Correct sequence is 🤯then 👄
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
Medical PA/OddJob/all rounder in the office - this is not just answering phones. And even if it was, those phone calls can be complicated, especially if you are trying to triage and book during rush hours. Receptionists are one of the many l***h pins that hold medical practices together so the medical staff can get on with patients. Be nice to them, they're good to you. Belittle them or be a t**t, you may as well move practice because you just landed down the pecking order. And don't for a moment think that there might not be a file note of your attitude.
Kathy Brooke 6 months ago
It was the receptionist who literally saved me when I turned up s******l (yea BP, censor me). The medical professional was worse than useless, while the receptionist was brilliant and followed the s*****e prevention protocol to the letter with added compassion. Those folk never know what they're facing with every person through the door or call they pick up. Massive credit to them.
Load More Replies...
Gregory Mead 6 months ago
Even IF the SIL was 100% correct in her assessment of OP's job (for the record, I think she was 100% incorrect), what possible reason, other than disrespecting OP, could she have for saying that? It did not add to the conversation, it was designed to hurt. If my mouth got ahead of my brain and I'd said something like that, at the 1st opportunity, I would have sincerely apologized for the hurtful things I'd said, regardless of whether I was going to ask for a favor or not. And I surely would have skipped asking for a favor so shortly after making a major error like that.
tori Ohno 6 months ago
I was a receptionist once, but I'll never do it again. You actually do Everything in the office, including things that others should be taking care of, but they push it onto you. You also deal with the public. That's a nightmare. I didn't walk out, I simply didn't walk in one morning, and never even called them. I couldn't stop crying that morning, and couldn't face them for abandoning the position when my breakdown was under control. That's how I discovered the term "introvert". It's takes a very strong, organized, and selfless person to do that job. That was over 3 decades ago, and I love working by myself in my office with zero contact with outsiders, and zero people telling me to fetch something or answer the phone.
Julia H 4 months ago
Of course she double downed on her, out of context, remark. It was rude and uncalled for. I don't care if someone's job is scooping doody for a living. No one gets to make snarky remarks and then expect everyone to be all grateful to take the ab use. On that note, a receptionist job is often crazy busy and sometimes just crazy. Kudos for not taking her sh it.
Kate Johnson 6 months ago
I would "let it go" by living as if SIL doesn't exist. So I would never answer a call from her or respond to a text. When in person I'd ignore her entirely as if she wasn't in the room. No arguments, no babysitting, no nothing. Just full gray rock treatment from that point forward.
JayWantsACat 6 months ago
They always couch it as "you're punishing a kid". Like, no, YOU DID by being an ungratful, entitles ahole.
Khavrinen 6 months ago
It's not punishing the kid anyway, it's punishing the parent. It's not like having a babysitter is some big treat for a kid, the whole reason babysitting exists is so the PARENT can do something without having to be responsible for their child for a while.
Load More Replies... The Starsong Princess 6 months ago
Remember, whenever someone says be the bigger person or keep the peace, they are really saying eat s**t so I won’t be inconvenienced or have to do anything about it. This is one of life’s great truths and will completely change your perspective. Anyway, my policy is if someone says no offense and then says something offensive, I always interrupt if I can and say “if you have to say no offense, you know you are going to be offensive so you should just stop talking.” Same with “I’m not a racist but…”
Dirk Daring 6 months ago
There's a major difference between "being the bigger person" and being a doormat. OP made the right call.
Tabitha 6 months ago (edited)
I think what’s missing here is what SIL does for a living, if she works at all. OP could’ve had an even better comeback for her, regardless of what SIL’s job is. If SIL is a doctor or lawyer, believe me, those people cannot function without the support of all their staff, especially the receptionist. If SIL is a SAHM, then OP can say she gets a paycheck every week and what does SIL get, besides s****y diapers and puke. (Before you get your panties in a wad, I am not knocking SAHMs. But I would hope a SAHM would have more sense than to knock what someone does for a living, because not all of us, including the married ones, can afford to quit our jobs and run a household and raise children—-a HUGE expense—-on one paycheck.)
Chewie Baron 6 months ago
I’ve been a receptionist before - I know! - and it’s a hell of a lot more than “just answering phones all day!” You’re the face and voice of the company. You set the initial tone of a visitor or caller’s view of what they’re going to experience.
Chewie Baron 6 months ago
Oh, I should have mentioned, it was the reception of a gay male sauna. I kid you not. Blimey, some of the stories I could tell you all from there. Sigh.
Load More Replies... Anna Drever 6 months ago
People choose whether or not to be rude to others. SIL made her choice and now OP is making her own choice right back. Sucks to be SIL.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 6 months ago
hey, 1% pollsters, lemme holla at you outside for a sec. i just wanna talk...
Janissary35680 6 months ago (edited)
Typical case of brain not being engaged before mouth is opened. Correct sequence is 🤯then 👄
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
Medical PA/OddJob/all rounder in the office - this is not just answering phones. And even if it was, those phone calls can be complicated, especially if you are trying to triage and book during rush hours. Receptionists are one of the many l***h pins that hold medical practices together so the medical staff can get on with patients. Be nice to them, they're good to you. Belittle them or be a t**t, you may as well move practice because you just landed down the pecking order. And don't for a moment think that there might not be a file note of your attitude.
Kathy Brooke 6 months ago
It was the receptionist who literally saved me when I turned up s******l (yea BP, censor me). The medical professional was worse than useless, while the receptionist was brilliant and followed the s*****e prevention protocol to the letter with added compassion. Those folk never know what they're facing with every person through the door or call they pick up. Massive credit to them.
Load More Replies... Gregory Mead 6 months ago
Even IF the SIL was 100% correct in her assessment of OP's job (for the record, I think she was 100% incorrect), what possible reason, other than disrespecting OP, could she have for saying that? It did not add to the conversation, it was designed to hurt. If my mouth got ahead of my brain and I'd said something like that, at the 1st opportunity, I would have sincerely apologized for the hurtful things I'd said, regardless of whether I was going to ask for a favor or not. And I surely would have skipped asking for a favor so shortly after making a major error like that.
tori Ohno 6 months ago
I was a receptionist once, but I'll never do it again. You actually do Everything in the office, including things that others should be taking care of, but they push it onto you. You also deal with the public. That's a nightmare. I didn't walk out, I simply didn't walk in one morning, and never even called them. I couldn't stop crying that morning, and couldn't face them for abandoning the position when my breakdown was under control. That's how I discovered the term "introvert". It's takes a very strong, organized, and selfless person to do that job. That was over 3 decades ago, and I love working by myself in my office with zero contact with outsiders, and zero people telling me to fetch something or answer the phone.
Julia H 4 months ago
Of course she double downed on her, out of context, remark. It was rude and uncalled for. I don't care if someone's job is scooping doody for a living. No one gets to make snarky remarks and then expect everyone to be all grateful to take the ab use. On that note, a receptionist job is often crazy busy and sometimes just crazy. Kudos for not taking her sh it.
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