There are very obvious red flags that show up right away and are a clear sign that the relationship isn’t worth developing. But most of the time, the red flags are more subtle and are easier to dismiss as a one-off thing or a not-so-serious character flaw that doesn’t mean anything. Those subtle signs are the most important to catch as they may indicate that the person is hiding something more serious.

People on Reddit discussed what are some red flags that are related to cooking that might mean that the person isn’t the right fit. Many of them not only shared what cooking habits they find alarming, but they also spoke about signs that, from their own experience, were red flags.

Would you add anything to this list? Which habit that people mentioned do you think is a solid sign to rethink the relationship? Let us know in the comments!

More info: Reddit

#1

Defending Mom's Cooking Knowing She Has Poisoned It

Defending Mom's Cooking Knowing She Has Poisoned It There was a letter to an advice column years ago, from a woman convinced her mother in law was slightly poisoning her every time they went to her house for dinner.

After every meal she grew violently ill and threw up/had diarrhea.

When she told her husband her suspicion he said she was crazy. His mother was a saint who adored her and would die before hurting her.

The advice columnist urged the wife to swap her plate with her husband’s during the next dinner. The woman wrote back saying she followed the advice and it was her husband who became violently ill after the meal.

When she told him what she’d done she said he looked at her with such loathing she realized he’d suspected what his mom was doing all along but, instead of standing up for her, he decided to gaslight her about her suspicions to avoid upsetting his mom.

Talk about your red flags.

Brewnonono , bfishadow Report

Danniee Gyrl
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I found the original: Dear Prudence, My mother-in-law hates me and makes no bones about it when she and I are alone. My husband doesn’t believe me, and she even gloats about that. We have to attend family functions at her home about once a month. (It used to be more frequent, but after I put my foot down, my husband agreed that monthly would be sufficient.) The problem is that after each visit, I wind up with a bad case of diarrhea; my husband does not. I don’t know if the other in-laws are affected, because if I asked, it would get back to her. I suspect that my mother-in-law is putting something in my food or drink. Last time, I barely made it home before being struck down. Now I am considering getting some “adult undergarments” to make sure I don’t ruin the car’s upholstery on the ride home from her place. Do you have any other advice? —Running for the Hills

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#2

Making Just One Person Cook All The Time

Making Just One Person Cook All The Time Refusing to regularly take over the responsibility for providing meals.

God bless him, my late father could *not* cook. He could manage a few basics, would help by fixing sides dishes, but anything more complicated, well.... Nope.

That said both he and my Mom worked fairly long days at not-easy jobs. Still, Mom was usually the one who was responsible for dinner.

But there were evenings when Mom walked in the door, dropped her bad, and announced, " I'm not cooking."

Dad, while hopeless at cooking, was not stupid, and replied with, " Where do you want to go?"

Yes, we were lucky to be able to eat out regularly. But that aside, that one exchange was a fantastic example of how they stayed married for nearly 40 years.

It didn't matter that Dad couldn't cook; what mattered was that it was no longer Mom's problem.

We usually went out to a typical family restaurant. But sometimes it was McDonalds. Sometimes we ordered pizza. Sometimes it was declared an "every man for himself" night, and everybody, including us kids, just fixed ourselves something.

But the big thing was Dad was always willing to take over for Mom when needed. And *that* was why it worked.

Unique_Football_8839 , Gamerscore Blog Report

Taking My Antidepressants
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cook a lot for my family. Occasionally my parents will do the cooking.

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#3

Not Washing Their Hands

Not Washing Their Hands No hand washing 😡

LongjumpingArm6916 , Brenda Kochevar Report

#4

When Someone Doesn't Cook But Are Picky Eaters

When Someone Doesn't Cook But Are Picky Eaters When they don’t know how to cook, refuse to cook, but are super picky when you cook for them. Nope nope nope

Joygernaut , John Loo Report

G M
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lolol This is my current argument with my 3 year old.

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#5

Being Ungrateful For Having Dinner Cooked For You

Being Ungrateful For Having Dinner Cooked For You I once decided to cook for a girl I was dating. It was pretty fresh at the time, third time I had seen her. I thought it might be nice to cook, have a wine and chat etc. as you do. While I was cooking she told me to stop talking so much and hurry up because she was hungry in a rude, annoyed tone. That turned me off to the point I didn’t see her again after that night!

Big-Win6220 , baron valium Report

JMil
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That date saved you much grief, I suspect.

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#6

Forcing Vegetarians To Taste Meat

Forcing Vegetarians To Taste Meat That a*****e on YouTube who is tricking his vegetarian wife into loving the taste of meat.

Sneaking animal products into things she believes is meat free.

Huge piece of s**t. Unless it's all b******t for getting views, then mild piece of s**t.

Tacos_117 , Henry Zbyszynski Report

#7

Expecting A Cooked Meal

Expecting A Cooked Meal Being a full grown adult that waits to be cooked for. Knowing full well, his spouse might also be working full time. But they won't lift a finger to grab dinner on the way home or if already home toss something in the microwave.

LurkingAintEazy , John Morton Report

Nathaniel
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Marjorie! I am back from work! I demand my evening meal on the table waiting for me!

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#8

Not Helping To Clean Up After You Cooked

Not Helping To Clean Up After You Cooked You cook and they dont help clean

Chrispeedoff , Aaron Jacobs Report

Antz Online
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, when I cook, I use minimum dishes and tidy up while cooking. My better half on the other hand leaves the kitchen like a tornado hit it, so I do refuse to clean up after she cooks.

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#9

Not Clicking The Tongs Before Using Them

Not Clicking The Tongs Before Using Them Not clicking the tongs before using them.

ForswornPheonix , Wuestenigel Report

Nathaniel
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For those who do not know, double clicking tongs activates them, making your tongs perform much more effectively. No need to worry about shutting them off, tongs have an automatic switch after a period of inactivity.

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#10

Changing Oven Settings Without Being Asked

Changing Oven Settings Without Being Asked Touching the oven when I'm cooking. Had a friend "fix" the oven while I was reverse searing ribeyes a few years back so they'd cook faster. You know what happens to a ribeye when you leave it in the oven at 375 for an hour?

She did the same to a rack of ribs on another occasion. Saw that the grill was set to low and thought "That can't be right." Jacked it up to high without telling anybody, and treated us to a nice rack of charcoal chips for dinner.

Rhodie114 , Thomas van de Weerd Report

Squirrelly Panda
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should have learned the first time. If she was my friend, she would get a blunt warning to not mess with my cooking again.

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#11

Not Being Sanitary With The Food

Not Being Sanitary With The Food Haven’t seen cleanliness yet.

I’m not talking about pots, pans and dishes after (that should be negotiated or depends on who invited who. But one should always offer to help).

I’m talking about during preparation and cooking. For example, if you handle raw meat, you should use soap and warm water before touching anything else. Any possible contamination on a counter top, …

Stay-Thirsty , Ryan Snyder Report

Heather Resatz
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We were at a bbq and thankfully I was watching while he started brushing sauce from the bag (where the raw meat came from) onto the fully cooked chicken he was just about to serve! Salmonella anyone??

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#12

Not Worrying About Glass Shards In Food

Not Worrying About Glass Shards In Food I knew a guy who dropped his $1 bottle of spaghetti sauce, jar broke in the bag. He goes and makes spaghetti…. With sauce. We ask if this is the same sauce…. Yup! He just pulled the chunks of glass out of it 😳. I do not eat that spaghetti or anything he cooked after that

Prestigious-Range-75 , Robynne Blume Report

Nathaniel
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Crushed glass was used in foods when you wanted assassinate your foes.

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#13

Lying About Being Allergic To Certain Foods When They Just Don't Like The Texture

Lying About Being Allergic To Certain Foods When They Just Don't Like The Texture Saying they are allergic to some ingredients but later admit they "just don't like the texture."

I get the texture thing, I hate mushy slimy myself. But ffs don't pull the "I am allergic to mushrooms/peas/onions/tomatoes" thing.

danseckual , Sue Thompson Report

Chucky Cheezburger
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And don't give others grief if they don't like the texture. I hate the texture of onions. Can't stand them. Don't even like to see them. If I had a dollar for every time someone gave me $H!T about it, I'd be able to hire someone to destroy all the onions in the world.

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#14

Not Eating Leftovers

Not Eating Leftovers people who won’t eat leftovers

missbethd , Gordon Joly Report

N Gregory
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This can very much depend. My husband won't eat leftovers because the leftovers he was fed as a child were the result of the cheapest nastiest sh1t that he barely ate it before it became leftovers. Oh, and his leftovers weren't what was left in the dish unserved, they were the scraping back off the plate. So yeah, we don't do leftovers, thanks for your judgment.

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#15

Ordering Food When Someone Cooks For You

I love to cook. My ex-boyfriend was a really picky eater. So i tried to make things without the ingredients he doesnt like. But several times after i cooked he said "im just gonna order something". I know it sounds like im a bad cook, but thats not the case. I worked in a kitchen for years and my friends all love my food. I still get pissed when i think about the time i just wanted him to tast my soup, just a little spoon. He refused because he was gonna order shoarma and didnt wanna ruin the 'before taste'.

foetsyandthetoetsy Report

#16

Purposefully Cooking Things Their Partner Doesn't Like Or Is Allergic To

Purposefully Cooking Things Their Partner Doesn't Like Or Is Allergic To If they are purposefully cooking things that their partner does not like or worse, that they are allergic to.

BlueRFR3100 , Kara Report

TheAquarius1978
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well deppending on the case this might be a good thing, when i was a kid ( toddler ) i was alérgic to eegs, só my pediatritian advised my Mother to give me just a bit of egg every now and again, and it did work, i can eat eggs with no isues whatsoever, of course i only had a light reaction, and my Mother was advised by a doctor, don't f*****g do the same to a person that hás severe alergies, you might kill the poor bastard lol.

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#17

Making Fun Of Your Diet Restrictions

Making fun of your diet restrictions.

kiwiparallels Report

Benita Valdez
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get it often because I'm allergic to peppercorns. No I don't sneeze. Yes I could die with a large enough quantity. Sorry you've never heard of someone's throat closing up from pepper but I assure you I'm not lying. Please don't try to test me; small amounts will only give slight breathing issues but I really enjoy breathing normal. It's not cute mocking me or slowly pushing the pepper shaker or grinder slowly towards me.

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#18

Medium Rare Chicken

Medium Rare Chicken Medium rare chicken

dw87190 , Wendy Report

Nathaniel
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once had a co worker, who was obsessed with her weight, (she was fricking fine) her diet tip was to eat slightly undercooked chicken.

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#19

Preparing One Thing At A Time When Making A Meal

The last time I saw this question posted, a guy responded saying that his wife only makes one thing at a time when making a meal. Mashed potatoes until they’re done, then beginning the meat, etc. He hadn’t had a hot meal in years. That comment still haunts me.

shorrrtay Report

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"He hadn't had a hot meal in years." Why didn't he cook?

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#20

Not Having Spices

Not Having Spices Not having any spices at all in your kitchen

Wordhippo , Karl Baron Report

Lisa H
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always say that a good, varied spice cabinet is an investment. Learn how to use them properly and you can make anything taste amazing, even if you're broke and eating spaghetti for the fifth night in a row. I always make sauces from scratch because it's cheaper and I have the spices for it.

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#21

Making A Mess In The Kitchen Because It's Your Turn To Cook And The Other Person's Turn To Clean

Not being the one who's chore it is to clean something doesn't give you license to make more work than necessary for someone else. It's a huge red flag when you and your partner have the alternating "one cooks, other cleans" chore cycle and your partner completely *trashes* the kitchen every time it's their turn to cook. I'm talking leaving out ingredients, spilling and splashing stuff everywhere, dirtying way more cookware than needed, or cooking in a way that leaves burnt on residue so you have to deep clean.


When I was still married to my ex I always tried to keep things neat when I cooked and he always left a huge mess. Turns out its a big warning sign that they don't value your time or have consideration for your feelings.

RoaldDahlek Report

Bill Evs
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, this is a bugbear of mine as well. When I cook I tend to tidy as I go so what's left at the end is minimal. I've known people though who, when they cook, seem to use every pot and utensil in the kitchen. It's like "we had soup, why is the wok in the sink"?

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#22

Not Knowing How To Cook As An Adult

Not Knowing How To Cook As An Adult Being a full-grown adult who doesn’t know how to cook

b3yondthegoblincity , E! News Report

Squirrelly Panda
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depends. A young adult, just left the nest, might not have been taught. If willing to learn, great. An adult who can follow recipe instructions but is a meh cook due to lack of interest, as long as honest and appreciative of others cooking, fine. An adult who doesn't know how to cook even the simplest thing and refuses to learn on the other hand...

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#23

Buying Food And Then Throwing It Away

Not necessarily cooking but it's a pet peeve of mine when people buy things and just, don't eat them but throw them away... watched my ex purchase a wonderful looking ice cream, sit and let it melt for half an hour, then get up and throw it away.

Jenkinsthewarlock Report

#24

Just Winging It

Just Winging It My ex wife wanted to make meatloaf when we were first married. I was like cool I love meatloaf. So she pulled this meatloaf out of the oven when I got home. It was a slightly charred sad looking meatball floating in grease. She was apologetic about it but I didn't say s**t about it. I have never complained about her cooking anything. I made meatloaf a few weeks later and she loved it and wanted to know what I put in it. I told her and asked her how she makes meatloaf. She said you take some meat and put it in a pan. No egg, salt, pepper, ketchup. Just meat. I was like yep this is going to take some work. Turns out she was overconfident about everything and just winged it.

UniqueFlavors , rick Report

JMil
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Winging it works if you are experienced and accomplished (assuming good, sensible ingredients are available).

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#25

When Someone Doesn't Like Pizza

When Someone Doesn't Like Pizza I am unable to trust anyone who doesn't like pizza.

piles_of_anger , Tom Hilton Report

Nathaniel
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially those that do not like pineapple on pizza.

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#26

Putting The Best Knives In The Dishwasher

Putting The Best Knives In The Dishwasher When they put your best knives in the dishwasher

ChimpyChompies , Christine Puccio Report

Bored Retsuko
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cough ... I recently ruined a knife with a wooden handle by putting it in the dishwasher then leaving it unemptied for I don't know how long

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#27

Refusing To Eat Vegetables

Refuses to eat vegetables

gordita_brunch Report

Nathaniel
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know a few people who claim not to like any vegetables. I mean how? There are literally thousands of varieties of vegetables, all with different flavours, all with multiple methods of cooking which can vary the taste. Have you gone through and tasted them all?

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#28

Thinking 'Browning' Means Leaving In The Fridge To Turn Brown

Thinking 'Browning' Means Leaving In The Fridge To Turn Brown My ex thought that "browning" ground meat meant leaving it in the fridge til it turned brown.

thunder2132 , Matthew Yglesias Report

Nathaniel
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bleurgh. Literally. From both ends.

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#29

Seriously Judging Someone's Taste

someone who judges my personal tastes so strongly that they allow it to threaten a (potential) relationship

Digipawn Report

Justin Smith
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the two above this for me qre not trusting or liking people who dont eat pizza or use garlic or garlic powder. Irony.

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#30

Saying That Msg Is Extremely Bad For Food

Saying that MSG is extremely bad for food.

kitsunedj Report

Deb Dedon
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not bad for food, but it is bad for those who don't tolerate the stuff very well.

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