“What Is A Cooking-Related Red Flag In A Relationship?” (30 Answers)
There are very obvious red flags that show up right away and are a clear sign that the relationship isn’t worth developing. But most of the time, the red flags are more subtle and are easier to dismiss as a one-off thing or a not-so-serious character flaw that doesn’t mean anything. Those subtle signs are the most important to catch as they may indicate that the person is hiding something more serious.
People on Reddit discussed what are some red flags that are related to cooking that might mean that the person isn’t the right fit. Many of them not only shared what cooking habits they find alarming, but they also spoke about signs that, from their own experience, were red flags.
Would you add anything to this list? Which habit that people mentioned do you think is a solid sign to rethink the relationship? Let us know in the comments!
More info: Reddit
Defending Mom's Cooking Knowing She Has Poisoned It
There was a letter to an advice column years ago, from a woman convinced her mother in law was slightly poisoning her every time they went to her house for dinner.
After every meal she grew violently ill and threw up/had diarrhea.
When she told her husband her suspicion he said she was crazy. His mother was a saint who adored her and would die before hurting her.
The advice columnist urged the wife to swap her plate with her husband’s during the next dinner. The woman wrote back saying she followed the advice and it was her husband who became violently ill after the meal.
When she told him what she’d done she said he looked at her with such loathing she realized he’d suspected what his mom was doing all along but, instead of standing up for her, he decided to gaslight her about her suspicions to avoid upsetting his mom.
Talk about your red flags.
Making Just One Person Cook All The Time
Refusing to regularly take over the responsibility for providing meals.
God bless him, my late father could *not* cook. He could manage a few basics, would help by fixing sides dishes, but anything more complicated, well.... Nope.
That said both he and my Mom worked fairly long days at not-easy jobs. Still, Mom was usually the one who was responsible for dinner.
But there were evenings when Mom walked in the door, dropped her bad, and announced, " I'm not cooking."
Dad, while hopeless at cooking, was not stupid, and replied with, " Where do you want to go?"
Yes, we were lucky to be able to eat out regularly. But that aside, that one exchange was a fantastic example of how they stayed married for nearly 40 years.
It didn't matter that Dad couldn't cook; what mattered was that it was no longer Mom's problem.
We usually went out to a typical family restaurant. But sometimes it was McDonalds. Sometimes we ordered pizza. Sometimes it was declared an "every man for himself" night, and everybody, including us kids, just fixed ourselves something.
But the big thing was Dad was always willing to take over for Mom when needed. And *that* was why it worked.
When Someone Doesn't Cook But Are Picky Eaters
When they don’t know how to cook, refuse to cook, but are super picky when you cook for them. Nope nope nope
Being Ungrateful For Having Dinner Cooked For You
I once decided to cook for a girl I was dating. It was pretty fresh at the time, third time I had seen her. I thought it might be nice to cook, have a wine and chat etc. as you do. While I was cooking she told me to stop talking so much and hurry up because she was hungry in a rude, annoyed tone. That turned me off to the point I didn’t see her again after that night!
Forcing Vegetarians To Taste Meat
That a*****e on YouTube who is tricking his vegetarian wife into loving the taste of meat.
Sneaking animal products into things she believes is meat free.
Huge piece of s**t. Unless it's all b******t for getting views, then mild piece of s**t.
Expecting A Cooked Meal
Being a full grown adult that waits to be cooked for. Knowing full well, his spouse might also be working full time. But they won't lift a finger to grab dinner on the way home or if already home toss something in the microwave.
Not Helping To Clean Up After You Cooked
You cook and they dont help clean
Not Clicking The Tongs Before Using Them
Not clicking the tongs before using them.
Changing Oven Settings Without Being Asked
Touching the oven when I'm cooking. Had a friend "fix" the oven while I was reverse searing ribeyes a few years back so they'd cook faster. You know what happens to a ribeye when you leave it in the oven at 375 for an hour?
She did the same to a rack of ribs on another occasion. Saw that the grill was set to low and thought "That can't be right." Jacked it up to high without telling anybody, and treated us to a nice rack of charcoal chips for dinner.
Not Being Sanitary With The Food
Haven’t seen cleanliness yet.
I’m not talking about pots, pans and dishes after (that should be negotiated or depends on who invited who. But one should always offer to help).
I’m talking about during preparation and cooking. For example, if you handle raw meat, you should use soap and warm water before touching anything else. Any possible contamination on a counter top, …
Not Worrying About Glass Shards In Food
I knew a guy who dropped his $1 bottle of spaghetti sauce, jar broke in the bag. He goes and makes spaghetti…. With sauce. We ask if this is the same sauce…. Yup! He just pulled the chunks of glass out of it 😳. I do not eat that spaghetti or anything he cooked after that
Lying About Being Allergic To Certain Foods When They Just Don't Like The Texture
Saying they are allergic to some ingredients but later admit they "just don't like the texture."
I get the texture thing, I hate mushy slimy myself. But ffs don't pull the "I am allergic to mushrooms/peas/onions/tomatoes" thing.
Ordering Food When Someone Cooks For You
I love to cook. My ex-boyfriend was a really picky eater. So i tried to make things without the ingredients he doesnt like. But several times after i cooked he said "im just gonna order something". I know it sounds like im a bad cook, but thats not the case. I worked in a kitchen for years and my friends all love my food. I still get pissed when i think about the time i just wanted him to tast my soup, just a little spoon. He refused because he was gonna order shoarma and didnt wanna ruin the 'before taste'.
Purposefully Cooking Things Their Partner Doesn't Like Or Is Allergic To
If they are purposefully cooking things that their partner does not like or worse, that they are allergic to.
Making Fun Of Your Diet Restrictions
Making fun of your diet restrictions.
Preparing One Thing At A Time When Making A Meal
The last time I saw this question posted, a guy responded saying that his wife only makes one thing at a time when making a meal. Mashed potatoes until they’re done, then beginning the meat, etc. He hadn’t had a hot meal in years. That comment still haunts me.
Not Having Spices
Not having any spices at all in your kitchen
Making A Mess In The Kitchen Because It's Your Turn To Cook And The Other Person's Turn To Clean
Not being the one who's chore it is to clean something doesn't give you license to make more work than necessary for someone else. It's a huge red flag when you and your partner have the alternating "one cooks, other cleans" chore cycle and your partner completely *trashes* the kitchen every time it's their turn to cook. I'm talking leaving out ingredients, spilling and splashing stuff everywhere, dirtying way more cookware than needed, or cooking in a way that leaves burnt on residue so you have to deep clean.
When I was still married to my ex I always tried to keep things neat when I cooked and he always left a huge mess. Turns out its a big warning sign that they don't value your time or have consideration for your feelings.
Not Knowing How To Cook As An Adult
Being a full-grown adult who doesn’t know how to cook
Buying Food And Then Throwing It Away
Not necessarily cooking but it's a pet peeve of mine when people buy things and just, don't eat them but throw them away... watched my ex purchase a wonderful looking ice cream, sit and let it melt for half an hour, then get up and throw it away.
Just Winging It
My ex wife wanted to make meatloaf when we were first married. I was like cool I love meatloaf. So she pulled this meatloaf out of the oven when I got home. It was a slightly charred sad looking meatball floating in grease. She was apologetic about it but I didn't say s**t about it. I have never complained about her cooking anything. I made meatloaf a few weeks later and she loved it and wanted to know what I put in it. I told her and asked her how she makes meatloaf. She said you take some meat and put it in a pan. No egg, salt, pepper, ketchup. Just meat. I was like yep this is going to take some work. Turns out she was overconfident about everything and just winged it.
When Someone Doesn't Like Pizza
I am unable to trust anyone who doesn't like pizza.
Putting The Best Knives In The Dishwasher
When they put your best knives in the dishwasher
Thinking 'Browning' Means Leaving In The Fridge To Turn Brown
My ex thought that "browning" ground meat meant leaving it in the fridge til it turned brown.
Seriously Judging Someone's Taste
someone who judges my personal tastes so strongly that they allow it to threaten a (potential) relationship