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“I Haven’t Spoken In A Decade”: 13 People Reveal Why They Disowned Their Siblings
Article created by: Dominyka Proškėnaitė
It’s pretty normal for brothers and/or sisters to kind of not always get along. From competition to just good natured ribbing, sibling relationships are special. But the truth is that everyone is their own person and sometimes it’s good to have some boundaries.
Someone asked “Siblings who no longer speak, what caused the divide?” and netizens who have cut ties with some family members shared what happened. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below.
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#1
They asked my kids who are adopted to step out of a family picture “because they are not really family.” I gave them a chance to think about what they just said and silently counted to 10. They doubled down. And that was the last time I (or other family members) spoke to them.
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#2
Edit: realized I should have put a trigger warning for emotional abuse.
I wouldn’t say we don’t speak. When we see each other at family events, we say hello. That’s about it.
But in reality, it was my mom. She pitted us against each other, made him her precious baby boy (infantilized him), golden child, always yelling at me for not tending to his needs enough, and just wouldn’t let us be siblings and do normal sibling things (from playing together to fighting).
I used to resent him a lot but as I’ve gotten older I just pity him. He has no skills, no love life or friends, still lives at home. She has ruined his life by not letting him be his own person.
We still don’t speak because we’re essentially not allowed to. My mom thinks anyone speaking to him is being mean to him and stops the conversations. She ruined all of his friendships he had in school.
I hope he gets out someday.
#4
My brother turned into a parasite, preying on elderly women - our grandmother, a wealthy aunt, and our own demented mother, over the years. Hey even tried to get me to fund his life. When I took over our mother's finances and refused any payments, he dropped out of my life. He does not need to come back.
#5
Sister being a religious fanatic and being cruel to me and my husband because she hates gay people.
#6
She lied about having cancer. I'll just never be able to trust anyone like that in my house and around my family. There's really nothing that can fix it either, I think you need to have something really broken in your brain to do something like that, like unrepairable damage.
#7
I escaped the toxic cult-like religion we grew up in and am healing and doing quite well, he’s still stuck there so that already drives a deep divide just in worldview and lifestyle.
He wanted another shot to reconnect last year and I granted it to him, but during a long conversation over dinner I found out that he doesn’t view women as equal to men. His views on marriage and a married woman’s right to autonomy (nonexistent…) are slavery under a different name. A wolf in sheep’s clothing that he thinks is love. I tried everything I had in me to ask him questions and to see if he could realize himself how twisted that view is, since just telling someone they’re wrong doesn’t often go anywhere. Once it became clear he was committed to those ugly morals I told him never to contact me unless he changed. Haven’t spoken to him since.
#8
I haven’t spoken to my sister in a decade, and don’t attend family events where she will be present. She stole my mom’s identity and wracked up almost 20k in unpaid debt. My mom plays is off as a childish mistake (my sister was 27 at the time) and despite my pressing her, my mom refused to press charges. Without her help the police just had to let it go and my mom paid off the debt.
#9
They never reach out and hardly ever reply so I dropped the rope. No animosity, just no desire to keep reaching out and having my feelings hurt. Can't be disappointed if you don't have expectations.
#10
I’ve posted about my half sister years ago. She is nine years older than me and in my life, I’ve lived in the same house as her for less than a year. She lived with her mom most of her childhood. She got married at 21 or 22 years old and was, what we used to call a “bridezilla”. I was around 13 years old and was supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
She was very set on a hairstyle she wanted all her bridesmaids to have, and she wanted them all done at a certain salon. The salon was very far from where I lived and we had to be there early, like 7am. So my mom made an appointment for me to have my hair done at a salon near my house, and even gave them a picture of what my hair was supposed to look like. The night of the rehearsal, my half sister and my mom got into an argument about my hair and my sister kicked me out of the wedding. Her mom told my mom that because I was no longer in the wedding, we had to leave, but my mom pointed out that my brother and dad were still in the wedding, so we didn’t have to.
Long story short, her mom slapped my mom across the face, police were called, and nobody from my dad’s side of the family went to her wedding. As adults, she is very close to my dad and brother, but I have next to nothing to do with her. I’ll see her at family get togethers, but I have no interest in having her in my life outside of that. I was still a kid and she did irreparable damage to our relationship because of a hair style. All these years later and she still has not apologized for that night. What’s funny too is that, based on wedding pictures, none of her bridesmaids ended up with the hair style she wanted them to have because everyone had different types and lengths of hair. I hope it was worth it to her.
#11
Alcohol.
My sibling has been drinking for 30 years.
She's in her mid 40s, drunk most days, and posts her relationship drama all over social media.
She wore a white ball gown to my wedding, stole items, money, etc from me and my family.
I don't follow them on social media and I don't see them when I travel near where they live.
They are unable to respect boundaries so they are choosing to not participate in my life.
#12
She's a psychopath. Manipulative, self-centered, lies for no reason but to get you to believe lies, has never once acknowledged fault and always turns it around on her accuser. She doesn't operate on, "Better to ask forgiveness than permission,", she'll lie until she can lie no more and then stand firm at, "What are you going to do about it?" She has never moved an inch for anyone and tramples over everyone deflecting with a, "tee hee!"
Nobody likes her but nobody but me understands why they don't like her and they keep engaging with her to their detriment.
#13
Moved to different locations, nothing in common, no reason to stay in touch.
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