Bride Refuses To Give Up Her Dream Wedding Venue For Sister’s Shotgun Wedding, So Her Family Turns Against Her
If you’re lucky, your family members, love, support, and inspire you. If you’re not so lucky, they’re selfish manipulative psychos who will turn against you the second they need something.
Reddit user u/paperweightfairy and her fiance have booked their dream wedding venue in advance. They weren’t in a rush, so it seemed perfectly fine to wait a bit and have the ceremony they both wanted. As the big day was nearing, however, her sister got pregnant. Which wouldn’t be a problem in itself. But the gal started pressuring paperweightfairy, demanding she and her fiance give up their wedding plans. And she wouldn’t stop even after hearing a polite “no.”
Image credits: istockphoto / Motortion (not the actual photo)
“The relationship with my sister was always okay,” paperweightfairy told Bored Panda. “But it was because I gave in to her demands too easily (e.g when she was little, I would let her blow out my birthday cake candles, she would get a present. I would agree to do her chores so she could go out. I filled out her job applications because she didn’t know how to, etc.) The time we had a real sibling rivalry was on the day of my graduation when she had a fit.”
Luckily, nothing has changed between her and her fiance since it all began. “He is extremely mad at my family and doesn’t want them to come [to our wedding].”
However, her nan’s reaction really surprised paperweightfairy. “While we all coddled my sister for being the baby, my Nan never showed favoritism till this point.”
People said a lot of things to the bride
To clear things up, she posted a few updates of the situation
You probably couldn’t find a family without any hard times. During these family feuds, it’s important to think clearly. However, not letting emotions get the better of us is definitely easier said than done. Still, there are a few simple things you can do to make it easier for yourself:
- Stay true to the facts. When people are going back and forth, they might forget the essence of the issue. Therefore, it’s important to determine what it is that you’re fighting over and try to prevent the conflict from getting even bigger.
- Pause. We have a tendency to respond to a situation immediately because we want our voice to be heard. And if someone starts throwing accusations at us, it’s natural to try and defend ourselves. But putting some distance between you and whomever you are fighting with first is a very good idea. Gathering your thoughts could help both of you gain some perspective.
- Set boundaries. You need to set clear boundaries to maintain not only your safety but your sanity as well. Defining these limits very clearly and not letting anyone belittle what you’ve decided might actually save you a lot of energy.
- Redefine relationships. Lastly, if things continue to deteriorate and you ran out of options, you may have to redefine your relationship with that family member. The fact that you’re related doesn’t mean you must live in misery. Toxic dynamics don’t help anyone.
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Share on FacebookThe sister is extremely selfish to expect that of you. If it’s too stressful for her to organise a wedding whilst she is pregnant then she can wait til after the baby is born or get married at a registry office etc. There is no excuse for the sisters behaviour and just because she is pregnant does not give her the right to manipulate others to get her way and same goes to the rest of the family taking her side and trying to manipulate you also. So glad you have your in-laws and aunt to stand by you. Best wishes on your wedding day and hope all goes well.
The sister and her family are basically all a******s. F**k off already. The good news is she is marrying into a logical and reasonable family that loves her for her.
She’s losing a toxic family and gaining a protective one. Sounds like a win-win.
Load More Replies...I predict all the comments are going to say she should keep the venue so I'm going to be different and suggest that it be decided with Mortal Kombat, each sister choose a champion and have them fight to the death, winner gets the venue.
There's nothing to fight for. One sister booked in due time. The other didn't. Condoms are cheap.
Load More Replies...Yup, that's wedding for you! Won't be one without the drama. My mom had a proper meltdown because my dad whom she is divorced from was going to walk me down the aisle saying that was supposed to be her moment. She was further enraged by the fact that I invited my grandfather on my dads side and my stepbrothers that I've known for the last 15years. My sister didn't want to be a bridesmaid because she couldn't choose her outfit, but still cried because I didn't allocate hair or make up for her on the day so ended up taking my moms spot. They weren't there when I was getting ready and sat with grumpy stiff upper lip faces the entire night of the wedding. The morning after they came into our honeymoon suite picking a fight with us because we didn’t make them feel welcome. I can honestly say they ruined my wedding despite all the other really great memories I have of the day. Uninvite them and focus on the people that have your back.
Wow - some people. It's your day, not your mother's. I don't think people must do everything a bride requests (cos Bridezilla's exist) but having your father walk you down the aisle and choosing your sister's dress are fairly normal wedding components! I see 'Don't Tell The Bride' sometimes and when mum's act like it's their day and they have some say... nuh-uh. You aren't paying, so you aren't saying.
Load More Replies...Yeah, I have a little spoiled sister myself. My mom used to blame me for her being unemployed, because obviously it was my responsibility to find her a job (at the time I was 26 and working in an IT company, and my sister was 24 and didn't know how to turn on the laundry machine). I told my mom that there are numerous websites with job offerings and she just needs to send out her CV. The response was - she doesn't have a CV, because she doesn't know how to write one. And I was the bad guy because I refused to write it for her. Love my family.
Not all little sisters are that way. I actually paved the way for my older sister to get into college long after she thought it was impossible for her to get an education. And while I got a meager Law Enforcement and Forensic Anthropology degree..my sister goes out and gets an Environmental Engineering and Accounting degree. Mine was delayed due to raising and autistic son..her was delayed from taking care of our father before he passed. But we are still supportive of each other and have each other's backs. I would never ask my sister to give up a day that is so important to her and steal her glory. Some families are just more understanding than others. And I've always lived by the philosophy..if you want something..you have to earn it..it will not be handed to you. Wondering why your mother couldn't take the time to find her a job or help her write a CV if she thinks it's so out of your sister's capabilities to do it on her own.
Load More Replies...So the dad tells her 'its just a venue'. Doesnt that logic also applies for the sister? She can easily get married somewhere else, its just a venue.
But its not "just a venue" for the pregnant sister! Obviously this is very important to her and we wouldn't want to the spoilt little sister sad, would we?
Load More Replies...Having a baby inside is not a 'permit' to have everything you want. I understand she's on hormones but still... Responsible adult people shouldn't expect to get what they want by crying fits. After all, it'll teach her restraint she'll definitely need when the baby appears.
Why would anyone even ask this? How utterly selfish. Being pregnant doesn't mean everyone has to run around in small circles arranging your life for you. After all the hard work and anticipation? Clearly didn't offer to pay for it either. Sis is going to have a nasty shock when she realises the baby isn't going to raise itself and she'll need to pull her weight. Good grief.
Hopefully the sister won't expect the parents to take care of their grandchild all the time!
Load More Replies...I feel sorry for you. Weddings make family go crazy. We had our fair share of stress with my family as well because I didn't invite my one brother to the wedding, since we haven't spoken for 3 years prior to our wedding. We fought a lot and I just decided to cut him out of my life. My dad also threatened not to come, mom was crying also saying she will not go if my dad does not go. We just stood by our decision and said f**k it. If you don't want to turn up, it's your own choice. Luckily my dad realized his threats just made it worse and he apologized and they did show up. Stand your ground. I hope they come to their senses, but if not, be ready to have people there that actually care about you even if it excludes them. For crying out load, I mean they can wait until after the birth in any case if it's stressing her out that much.
Exactly. If sister has a medical condition aggravated by stress, then she ought to be in a hospital, not at a wedding... particularly her own.
Load More Replies..."Don't negotiate with terrorists" ... this is the perfect mentality when dealing with manipulative family!
As one of the comments in the article said, her sister having a problem isn't an emergency for her. Sure, her sister might not be up to planning a wedding while pregnant, but if that's the case they should just wait until the kid is born to get married. Or their parents could plan a wedding for the sister if they're so bent on her getting married. It seems to be the only reason they picked September is because her sister thought she could just have the venue and everything because "baby." People saying that they could do a double wedding- f**k no. At this point it's looking like her sister's relationship isn't on the most solid ground, and sharing that day with them is almost worse than giving them the wedding. Being pregnant doesn't mean anyone owes you anything- yes, being considerate of someone is important, but only so far as giving them your seat or getting them a glass of water- not giving them a freaking wedding.
Spoiled sister could have a small wedding with just the family. Very little stress. In fact the money saved will be needed for life with baby.
Load More Replies...Wow woman, just wow. I mean, the comments say it all. Sometimes family is just literally a blood connection, and some friends or even in laws are better at being your family than your own. Favoritism is such a sad thing. Honestly, I hope she lives happily ever after. When her father said about it not being about the venue it's about the person you love I thought he was taking her side, meaning her sister didn't have to hijack her hard work at planning the whole thing but boy was I wrong. Kudos to her in laws for providing the support her family lacked.
What horrible people ! I am glad for her that she has a kind in law family. Poor BIL, life will be complicated for him with such a wife...
If he still chooses her after this BS, he brings it all on himself. I'll feel NO pity if he chooses to destroy his life and happiness.
Load More Replies...Disassociate from your whole family now, just cut them all out and permanently because I guarantee they will never let this go and will bring it up at holidays and other major events and hopefully will live to regret it. If I were her sister's fiance, man I would be seeing red flags and major warning alarms telling me to run and run fast and far! Little sis is a little c**t and won't stop being one until the family puts its foot down which I doubt they will. Get away from that toxic mess. And congrats on the PhD! That is the real accomplishment!
Sister's relationship probably won't even last until the end of pregnancy, that's why she wants to get married asap!
Load More Replies...Any reason why the parents can't help the sister plan her own wedding instead of insisting OP give up her perfectly planned wedding a month before the date? What a bunch of a******s.
All things considered, one has to wonder if little sister didn't intentionally get pregnant just to instigate this situation. It will also allow her to pull the "first grandchild" card with mom and dad. If, as it appears, little sister is the parental favorite, just imagine how mom and dad will treat grandkids. If this situation does not lead to a family estrangement, big sister may want to make sure her children only visit grandparents when little sister and brood are not around. They will most likely play favorites with grandkids also... with "first grandchild" getting the most attention.
Given her attitude I can see her doing that to force her boyfriend to propose, but I don't think she's bright enough to come up with it as a plan to foul her sister's wedding.
Load More Replies...Have a backyard wedding if you must get married before the baby is born. How selfish of the entire family to not even realize how wrong it is to ask of the Older sister to just give up her venue that she has planned for 3 years. What the hell. It's so weird that they all expected that
I'm so, so happy this woman is not caving to that horrible family. Once you let someone treat you like a doormat, they always will. And if this garbage family gives her the cold shoulder going forward, it sounds like she's marrying into a very nice replacement one with much less entitlement and drama. I'd bet a considerable amount of money that that sister will be divorced within three years anyway. Entitled brats like that either end up doing something stupid and selfish that sabotages the marriage or they simply drive the other person away because they're so exhausting to deal with.
Let me guess. Your sister doesn't have a PhD. Or probably a job. Just because she doesn't plan well (getting pregnant) doesn't mean you have to plan for her. Also, my guess is there has been family drama before. And there certainly will be now. This will just be the beginning. Even if you gave up your venue, you will be blamed for something else. I am so sorry your family doesn't have your back. Sometimes, you have to move on and make your own family with your husband. Good luck.
If it doesn't matter where you get married but who you're marrying- the other sister can rent a barn somewhere and get married there. Just no.
Sometimes it sucks when you realize the family you were born into aren't the people you thought they were. And even though your sister was already getting married, I can't help but think that she's the victim of her own bad choices. If she knew medical complications could arise from a pregnancy, then perhaps she should have practiced birth control or abstinence until after the wedding. There should be no reason for big sister to have to fix little sisters mistakes. If you make a mistake, own up to it and accept that you, yourself, are responsible for the outcome of your actions. Nobody else is required to bail you out. Glad that future in-laws are backing you up and will support you.
Her mother said that, and was probably making it up.
Load More Replies...The exact first thing I thought was "Poor planning on your part..." Little sister needs to grow up. 23 is well old enough to learn that it ain't all about you, honeylamb!
You will sit your family down and say this: "I am keeping the venue. You will accept my decision and be invited, or you will not accept it and stay away from my wedding and stay out of my life". No discussion, no questions, get up and leave.
Keep the venue and keep the wedding date. The people that disagree and sided with the sister can de-invite themselves. You don't want those people at your wedding. Family or otherwise. Blood is not thicker than water. Your soon to be husband is and should be the family priority.
I was gonna suggest double wedding à la Pride and Prejudice, just to keep the peace (that's me, family peacemaker)......till I read the OP's follow up. Shame on Mom and Dad for playing mind games with their own children. Sis's entitlement is obviously the product of a lifetime of that. If Sis feels the need to make sure that knot is tied before the baby is born, well, that's what courthouses are for. Or, since it's the 21st century and nobody's going to shun her from the community for "having a baby out of wedlock," she can wait and plan a beautiful wedding with the baby all dressed up, which will definitely make for winning wedding photos.
Peacemaker is actually a very dysfunctional family role. Get yourself some therapy and boundaries.
Load More Replies...I've read several comments about a double wedding, but that won't work cause little sister is too entitled and will think it's all about her. I can only imagine the stress of every fit she will throw about any and every little detail she will want to change. Plus, she will most definitely want to make the spotlight more on herself. She has already made that clear. That kind of thing only works for people that can get along and can respect each other. Little sister has already shown she can't do either. Ugh, what a nightmare that would be!
One thing that annoys me is also the fact, that they make pregnancy into something horrible. If you are healthy, pregnancy is not something that prevents you from doing things.
I think your parents should have been more arbitrary rather than stick to your sister's side (a sister who manipulated them into all of this). I hope you stand your ground and be strong.
Emotional blackmail has never really worked. The best result you can hope to have is that the one you are blackmailing becomes more determined to not give in to your silly demands. It's also a sure way to lose the last bit of respect the one you are trying to blackmail might have had.
It seems to me that you just found out how dysfunctional your own family is and in the process also began to reap the benefits of also now being a member of a family with their priorities in all the right positions. Congrats! Have a great marriage. The wedding is not important in the long run.
it sucks being the older sister to a younger sister to believes they are entitled to the rewards you reap from hard work. It's stressful and hurtful to deal with family like this, I know.
I don't understand ... is there only one wedding venue in the whole city, state or country?
Why doesn't matter. She reserved it and waited three years. She waited to get what she wanted. Her patience was rewarded. Prego-sis is an entitled monster. I'd completely uninvite her because guaranteed she will make the wedding ALL about her.
Load More Replies...as a man i dont realy care about where iam going to be married. it was both stressfull, mentally and financially consuming. i hope i never had to go through that part of my life again. but we all did it for someone we care about. and if another person even had an idea about ruining it or sabotage it. someone going to arrest me and put me in mental hospital instead of jail beacuse of what im gonna do to that person,
I thought my family was the only one f****d up enough to pull such a stunt. I have totally cut my family out of my life and have honestly NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. I am in my mid 40's now, happily married with 2 beautiful girls and a full grown boy. I know if my family was in our lives, there would be all kinds of stupid shot like that popping up. It usually starts small. For them to start with this, just go ahead and keep them at arms length. Best of luck. Enjoy your wedding. Enjoy your marriage.... I hope they eventually come around and apologize for this stupidity, but once they show their a*s... "When someone shows you who they are.... believe them."
Using the pregnancy to get her way is the act of a spoiled brat. I've been pregnant...it didn't stop my brain function. She can still make phone calls, search the internet, or hire a planner. For her to even ASK that is BEYOND rude.
I learned, perhaps a little too slowly, that toxic people need to be removed from your life even (or especially) if they are family. Stay firm and assertive. Point out that giving Sis what she wants would be taking something important away from you fiance as well as from you. Just keep saying No with minimal explanation. You will soon find out just how toxic your family is and can proceed accoringly.
I agree with Inyeoni in the above comments. That summed it perfectly. Seems her family only care about her sister anyway, so they can sod off.
So if the dad said the venue doesn’t matter, it the person you’re marrying…why is it so important the poor planning sister should get it? Unbelievable! Absolutely no way I would hand any of the wedding over to her!
People say "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family", I disagree. Keep the ones you like and boot the rest.
Having come from a similar situation myself (I’m the younger sister, but she is literally the golden child- blonde and perfect), I just want to make one point: she has already won. The damage to your wedding is already done; it will not be what it should have been because of her actions. As hard as it is, the true toxic relationship is between the OP and her parents. They have reinforced this behavior for the sisters entire life. After a similar incident I cut ties with my parents two years ago. Although I still get random aggressive texts from my father, my life truly is better without all of the associated drama. Focus on you love and happiness. They are the ones who are missing out.
Push comes to shove: You got a WHOLE back up family because yours obviously cant get their s*** together. I'm glad your BIL is at least a decent person and I'm sorry he has to deal with this, I'm also sorry you've had to put up with her all these years and hope this wakes you up and you get a chance to put a stop to all this favoritism stuff
Part Three Update The Sister Knows! My sister saw this story while browsing on her reddit acc. She lost her mind. She accused me of painting her like a looney and misinterpreting facts. (Info: My sister got wind of the situation due to various Media outlets and went on reddit) Our heroine gets a spine and long story short texts her: I am sick and tired to bending to your will. My whole life I have been your servant and your doormat. Remember all the birthdays I had to share with you because you would throw a tantrum because you didn't get presents? ...But the thing that has hurt me most till now is when you ruined my graduation. I am done. I admit that I also spoiled you but I will not any longer. ...I have spent too much time planing MY wedding to gift it to you.And if you want to ruin our ionship..then go ahead. Sister’s psycho response? She tries to TAKE it anyway: “
Wedding planner : Hello dear, I got the message from your mother and will proceed with the rebooking of the venue on the spot . However this will have extra costs as we have to change the names on the contract. Please come by my office tommorow so we can sign the new contract. / Sister: Thats great ! I'll be there at 9!” The wedding planner was horrified after finding out what happened and this call never took place. They offered free security to the bride. I feel sad for them and angry at that crappy sister. Result: The couple put passwords with majority of our vendors and also with the venue directly. They cancelled the catering paid by the parents. Thank you again for helping me see how toxic my family is. I will try to sort it out. If they apologize from the bottom of their heart they will be allowed into my wedding but if not... Then well... I still have my brother (who will be walking me down to the aisle) and my aunt.
Load More Replies...Why does the sister need to marry? She could have the baby without a wedding (obviously, she's already pregnant). It would be much more easy for her to plan one - if she insists so much to have a signature under a stupid piece of paper as a proof she loves the father of her child - for after the delivery and the nursing period. Thus, she would be able to enjoy her own wedding without being sick half of the time, being able to drink, dance etc...
My first thought was, what a manipulative little b***h. Crying, probably only in front of others for effect. The parents are insensitive douches as well. Sounds more like step parents to the OP. I'm the youngest and 'favrit' of mom but I'd be damned if I'd ever try to claim my older brother and sister's stuff by crying and demanding. The little b***h would probably be laughing and giggling at stealing the venue from you after the fact. There is no win for you except to keep the venue on principle. Teach them you are no pushover on things worth fighting for. Hope everything works out for you. Don't know the answers but treasure those who treat you well and keep those toxic ones well away.
This is just a classic. The sister who never plan anything and always gets in trouble get all the petty and the one who is planning her s**t has to plan for the other one. Lived it and i see a lot of it everywhere
I like the in laws. Sounds like a much less drama riddled family. And her future brother in law may need to reconsider marriage, baby or not. Seen too much of this kind of s**t in my own family.
This sucks, I'm so sorry you have to be in that spot. The selfish mofos are ur sister and ur family for even trying to take away ur special day. You can't be the one who books both weddings, isn't that what, ummm- wedding planners are for? If she can't afford it offer to have the wedding in ur backyard but you'll be damned if u give up ur planning, excitement and everything else. At the end of the day if your family chooses her over u, and not both, F them, and take ur new family that you're marrying in to be yours. In time if they're worth it they will apologize- if not, you're better off.
In IT, we have a saying ... a lack of preparedness on your part does not demand any sense of urgency on my part ... I think this applies to this situation, as well ...
When I first started reading the text, I was thinking 'why not consider double wedding', but by the time I got to the end, my opinion switched to 'hell no'. There are people in my country that think that when one is pregnant, you must cater for her and every single wish of hers needs to be granted at any cost, and I think it is absurd. No, your sister is not entitled to it just because she is pregnant, and it is extremely selfish of her to even ask, let alone expect it (which she does). She has so many options (get married in courthouse with big reception next year, find a different venue etc.) and she can ask for your help to organize, but take over yours, no. Your family is also insane to expect and support such a horrendeous idea. Your BIL, fiance and in laws are sane and great support, and don't let anyone make you change your mind. Also, you shouldn't feel guilt over this situation, you are not the a**hole, they are. Good luck, have a great wedding and rest of your life.
her parents in law are amazing!! thankfully that side of the family is totally normal :)
This poor girl. I'm so glad she found a good fiance and her husband's family is willing to care for her like their own daughter ;(
That's just dumb. If she doesn't want the stress of planning a wedding, she can just have a simple backyard wedding and have her family help out, like my mother did for her wedding when she was 9 months pregnant with me. The sister just wants a perfect wedding without putting any effort into it
Why not have the kid be born out of wedlock? It's the 21st century, not the 19th. After giving birth, the sister can take as much time as she wants to organise a wedding. If she didn't want a kid out of wedlock, she should have followed the old & outdated rule not to have sex before marriage or to use the more modern approach of protection from both sides (pill & condom).
This is a family dynamic called "scapegoating." Family is supposed to be our first foray into society, but sometimes it's not you---it's them. Limit contact with destructive people no matter who they are.
Is it even BIL's baby? Seriously, trying to strongarm a quickie wedding in under a month, and likely expecting OP to give up everything she has planned for so long? Suspicious.....
What an entitled baby sister! And the parents enabling her. Stop. It. Let your kids accept the responsibility for her actions. Baby sister chose to get pregnant and for some reason decided that your wedding is owed to her? Crazy. Good for your Fiancée for supporting you. You plan. You schedule. You pay. Your venue. Full stop. Feel free to show this to your parents, but I am sure that baby sister is crying and whining and telling them that you are ruining her life. You have done NOTHING wrong. Do not let anyone guilt you. If baby sister asked this, she has some issues with jealousy. And you can't fix that.
Somebody need to to slap your sister for her to realize that her request is so selfish and unacceptable... but then who will do that? Your family need a reality slapping too. And this will not be last request that they will do, i bet in the future there will be more unreasonable, selfish and nonsense requests coming from them. You are doing the right thing girl, don't feel guilty.
Well OP's family (most of them at least) are rather selfish of asking this, but at least OP got her dream day and it ended so sweet for her in quite a few senses :)
Sadly logic won’t work on people like this so go and have your dream wedding knowing there is nothing you could do.
More updates https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/cr7dc9/my_family_is_pressuring_me_to_give_my_23f_sister/
You and your fiance have been together for 8 years, but you did not get pregnant and ruin someone else's life or wedding. People need to take responsibility for their behaviour, that includes your parents. You're the one with the PhD, so you're not stupid or an idiot, rational and logical thought processes are what you deal with. Deal with this one in the same way and stand up for yourself, it's the right thing to do.
What a horrible family!To think that sister is about to be a mother and she is still throwing tantrums. I would cut contact with them altogether.
OMG did the wedding happen i need to know, what a b***h of a sister !!!! she got pregnant why cant she just bloody wait until after the baby !!! at leased the BIL already told her not to ask and is on the brides side, id be fuming it must be such a horrid place to be in, easier said than done but dont let her s****y me me me attitude ruin you big day !! you did the right thing you planned ahead and to me it seems like she wanted the venue but couldn't get it her self so decided to create this s**t because she cant organise a p**s up in a brewery if she tried i cannot believe your mum and dad and most of the family think what she is asking you is acceptable !! and if preclampsia runs in the family even more reason to wait that or she shouldn't have got with child until after, i know these things cant be planned but knowing you already had a date she needed to be a bit more careful !! JESUS H
This is so wrong on so many levels for a sister, family, any person to do to another, no matter what their reason is. Being pregnant needling to get married in a hurry is something of the past, if the sister had a terminal illness and only 6 months to live, would be an emergency wedding, not a surprise pregnancy!
dump the biological family, except your aunt, adopt your in-laws as your real family because they obviously truly love you.
What wonderful in-laws! Your family are a bunch of treacherous, conniving arseholes, f**k them all and have yourself a good life. I do hope you don't invite them to your wedding - they will try everything to ruin it. Your in-laws are your new family and you deserve a lovely family. F**k your b***h sister.
This whole situation is insane. Who does something like this and expects to succeed?! I seriously hope OP and her fiancee end up together and happy, but this is too much stress too expect anyone to go through. Edit: at least she is marrying into a reasonable and supportive family
Little sister has already damaged big sis s well planned wedding enough by dividing the family. Have a beautiful and perfect wedding just as you planned, invite who you like and un-invite anyone problematic. -and if I may suggest an addition; have a couple of bouncers attending just in case...
That is shocking her mother called her fiancée's parents to tell them what an "awful daughter" she is being that's basically if the pregnant daughter can't get married then your not getting married either !! Omfg
I dream of a future of when people aren't brought up thinking that their wedding day is "supposed" to be the best day of their life. All of this unnecessary drama to put yourself in the poor house so you can be the center of attention for 1 day.
This is just disgusting. Eugh. Just cause someone is pregnant makes them more in need of a wedding? Eugh. I can barely type it's so disgusting. Medical school pales in comparison to getting pregnant I guess! I'm engaged and just imagining this makes me so upset. My family has problems but my sister trying to steal my wedding is not one of them.
Simple solution, planned wedding goes as planned, and unplanned wedding immediately follows. Otherwise I'm stumped on how this story could be anything but a work of fiction to garner some attention for the author.
Ban your family that wants you to give up your venue from coming. If they can't see that they are in the wrong by a long long way then they don't value you as family so do the same with them. Stick with your fiance's family they sounds much better. Sorry your family sucks they are so wrong for even asking that let alone getting pissed.. You waited 3 years not just waited then planned, HAD THE VENUE SET FOR 3 YEARS!! OMG your sister is so selfish and she had the gall to call you selfish..
Its obvious that your sister is a selfish, inconsiderate, s**t who can't be bothered to plan anything for if she did she wouldn't have been knocked up before being married. If your family can't see that and appreciate the fact that you have your life together and are not a hot mess like your sister then I say kick their sorry asses to the curb and enjoy your new family, aka the in-laws. I think you and your fiance have every right to be angry with your family.
This reminds me a lot of my family. My husband and I spend a year planning our next vacation so we can save for it and not use credit cards. So we plan on going to Seattle to see his dad and then drive down to Oregon to see my parents. My sister and her kids are planning on coming up as well. We planned our trip around her kid's school vacation, and everything was booked 6 months in advance. 2 weeks before our trip his dad tells us they are moving to Las Vegas, can't wait a few weeks, but whatever we will go visit my family. Nope my sister decides that she has to get a wound on her stomach from a surgery years ago that hasn't healed right, fixed now, so her and the kids will not be coming up and my parents have to go to Reno to take care of her kids. So our trip to was totally screwed because of inconsiderate family. I should also note that this would have been the last time I could have seen my father alive, he died a short time later of liver cancer. Families suck!
Load More Replies...Easy, just don't invite your family. It will save so much money, less people to feed. I think family is really overrated. If you have a s**t family then don't engage with them. I have a racist mother and I haven't spoken to her in years and it feels so much better not having her in my life. If your family makes you feel like s**t just start a new one that doesn't include them. The whole love your family no matter what is complete b******t. You are under no obligation to love or tolerate terrible people no matter how much DNA you have in common.
Tbh, I respect her desicion not to give it to her. If she planned it for three years, I think she deserves it more than a pregnant sister. The way the family reacted was just horrible. You're usually supposed to respect whatever desicions someone gives you if your asked a question like that. And being put on the spot like that sucks. The sister said she always got what she wanted. Well, if she wanted this certain place for her venue, and she paid for it, she had planned three years for, then yes. She's gonna get what she wants.
Who the h3ll goes to maternity classes? Seriously, asking for a friend because I've already had two children and am pregnant with my third. Never once have I been to a "maternity class".
Is anyone telling the pregnant daughter that *her* tantrums are why everyone is upset? Nope. We have a princess like that in our family. Hope OP just hands them the venue, flowers, caterer, etc., and ALL the bills, and makes a saner family.
The sister is a greedy, grasping b***h. Her family need a good slap!! The OP should definitely go ahead with her wedding she planned and tell her sister to go f**k herself.
Yeah no you did everything right and actually planned everything out and didnt get pregnant during the wedding planning. Not fair for someone to come along and try to scoop that away from you just because she got pregnant and didnt make any wedding plans. She was irresponsible and you were responsible, you earned the wedding. The family said "youve waited this long you can wait longer" well the same can be said for your sister, she can wait. Just because she got knocked up doesnt mean she needs to get married right away...
Who are you aiming that comment to? The older sister or the younger? The older one carefully planned her wedding a few years in advance, why shouldn't she get married? Her husband and his family sound like terrific people.
Load More Replies...I am so sad that this has happened to you! My sister is my best friend and life-long comrade. She has taken a piece of joy from your special day, and you are never going to forget that- though, you seem to be the type of person that has a bigger heart and will forgive because you love her. My heart breaks for this situation. I would likely revolt, still pay for the venue and then get married randomly by a boat captain on the beach and throw a party a few days later to let everyone know they cant steal my joy, or my wedding venue!!!!
OMG this is basically story of my life and my younger sister . I'm sure this could happened to us! which much worse reactions from my family... I can't say how much glad I am she didn't accept...
My take, keep the venue, disinvite the family, cut off ties with the sister. Make husbands family your 'new' family and spend all your time with them and relations that stood by your decision. Even if you invite your family, they will remind you at every turn how you 'ruined' your sisters wedding. Heck, she might not even be pregnant.
First off congrats on the upcoming wedding. Glad you stuck to your guns and kept the venue. I do hope you update us after the honeymoon of course with some lovely pictures of your special day. ❤🥂❤
Little sis's fiance should see the red flags coming. If he's smart there isn't going to be a second wedding to worry about.
What a bizarre idea - to want to steal someone else's wedding arrangements. Especially, if they have prepared for THREE YEARS. And if it's all about the importance of marrying the right partner, why the hell does the sister need a fancy location in the first place? A easy going barbeque in the garden should be enough for a shotgun wedding. Or just marry legally and do a big church wedding a year or so later - with a cute baby in the pictures. I never thought, I'd say something like that but: The poor bride!!
My sister and I would NEVER have pulled this with each other! Keep your date, do you! Do what makes you and your soon to be hubby happy! GOOD LUCK BABE!
I have sister much like yours. If you ever give in to her 'wants' you will never stop. It will be expected that you always cater to her. Your parents have raised her to expect every one to giver her what she demands. --- I hope her to be husband realizes what he is marrying. It will only get worse. He might want to reconsider marrying her. I feel sorry for the baby. She will insist he give into her every time or she will go running to the parents. You will probably get called to baby sit every time she wants to do something and wants free baby sitting.
Yeah I’d nope the hell out of that family right quick. Ditch ‘em all and shack up with the in-laws. Ugh..
If my sister pulled this stunt with me I’d have no issue telling her to p*ss off. Seriously, wtf is up with that family?
I straight up went thru the whole ordeal of resetting my password just so I could log in just to comment on this. What in the actual f**k?? There is something seriously wrong with that family. This poor girl, being coerced into just giving away her dream wedding? KEEP👏THE👏VENUE "Lil sis" moves her wedding to Sept just assuming she'll be given her sisters long awaited dream venue? Look just because "lil sis" has CLEARLY been given everything she wants her whole life w/o doing jack for it n OBVIOUSLY expects the same here. That does not mean big sis should have any obligation to cover for her sisters bad planning, irresponsibility and downright blatant disregard for what she has already planned, waited and dreamt of. CLEARLY "lil sis" is unhinged. In no way does she deserve the dream venue. Get married somewhere else u selfish b***h!! God reading this was infuriating. F**k ur sister n ur family. I know their fam but no loving family should expect you to make this huge of a sacrifice.
Wow, this is just unbelievable. Wtf is wrong with the family, why would they act like that? If anyone deserves the anger, it's that spoiled brat of a sister for even asking in the first place.
My sister in law did something to that effect. You know what? She is still is the same, selfish, inconsiderate, and self centered. Even after 30 plus years, she still thinks that way. Once you give in, people like her will always expect that she deserves more just because.
Besides all the excellent suggestions about passwords etc., the OP definitely needs to get a literary agent and a co-writer to script and sell this gem to Hollywood.
so... because they acted like teens and couldn't put on a condom... the OP has to give up all her planning, patience, and dream wedding? They're idiots.
I also agree you have to keep your perfect venue you planned and waited for so long. You deserve happiness. Silly little sister who can't even control a sexual impulse and gets an unexpected pregnancy deserves a lesson on planning and thinking. Doesn't deserve her bs threated lightly and solved at ypur expense, or she will never learn to be responsible for anything. Who will yake care for that baby? You again? A*****e parents supporting the silly spoiled whiner will not get her far in life. Your morronic parents created helpless little s**t who will always be dependent on others. That's the worst life lesson a parent can teach. At least there is someone with a brain in this family - you, the bigger sis.
Well... Who's bloody fault is it that shes pregnant!!!! was her choice not her sisters!!
But a question comes to my mind: cannot the pregnant lady find another venue? There are plenty of options, I believe any vendor would be happy to arrange, why the parents don't work their asses to make both happy?? I am sorry for the girl, but happy she has great in-laws and afterall this also their son's wedding!!
Ugh. Judging from the familys responses and the classic "you are selfish", little sis must be the pearl in that family. But if you look at what the sisters husband to be said, she is definitely the selfish one! They obviously talked about it beforehand, but little sis just HAD to put her big sister on the spot. Brat. Well.... sadly the only thing to do to keep a good relationship with her family while keeping the venue is a joined wedding. OR: and I don't know why no one suggested it: just help that selfish little assh**** find another venue if she is too "pregnant" to do it herself. Gosh, I planned my wedding when I was already a few months along.
I love that the OP's dad said, 'what's the big deal, it's just a venue?'. Exactly. That's why the entitled little snatch shouldn't care what venue her preggo wedding is at.
No no no. Hellll no. Family Or It they're not Sliding in and stealing your wedding! NOPE. Not your faulty She needs to get married while Knocked up. They can go to the courthouse and have a reception of their choosing after.
Your family sucks...and your sister definitely earned that biggest a*****e award. She knew what she was doing by putting you on the spot like that and asking you in front of the whole family...well kudos for not taking the bait. Why does her pregnancy make her more in need?? I wouldn't be surprised if she made it up just so she could steal your dream venue since she made sure to mention how beautiful it was and she couldn't get a date.
Ur sister is extremely selfish... If she was so concerned should have not f****d before marriage... Atleast used protection. Also tell ur father if venue doesn't matter thn why u r asking me to give up my spot... Do her wedding Iin court else should have thought of holding having sex....
Your sister is a selfish b***h and your parents are insane for allowing that kind of behavior to continue. I hope you get bouncers for your wedding to keep out the drama and I wish you the very best!!! Congratulations on marring into what seems to be a normal and very loving family.
I want to quote the dad's "IT IS JUST A VENUE" then go f**king tell your pregnant daughter that IT IS JUST A VENUE. NO NEED TO BE A BIATCH ABOUT IT. YOUR OLDER DAUGHTER LITERALLY PLANNED HER DREAM WEDDING 3. FURKING. YEARS. IN. ADVANCE. Hell yes I am furious over this story
It's almost laughable that anyone in the family even entertained the idea of the sister hijacking the wedding. Utterly ridiculous. She's embarrassed herself by even letting the thought cross her mind. Such a shame that the rest of the family are dancing to her tune. I would be very disappointed if I was the bride.
I’ve known OP’s family for the amount of time it took to read this and I already hate their guts. It will be hard, but now is the best time to cut these people out of her life.
Turn your father's advice back on him. If what truly matters is who you marry and not how you marry them (true but not the point!) then why does your sister need your wedding? She should be able to just go to a JP and get married and the family should be happy about it. Or she could wait until after the baby is born and then get married. For your family to be so manipulative and your sister to be so selfish is inexcusable. Unfortunately, you have set a rather long standing habit of your sister getting her way. That will be a hard habit for your family to break. Stick to your guns and listen to your SO. Best of luck.
I am the younger sister and I would never behave like this toward my big sister. This younger sister is a spoiled, entitled brat and her sister needs to stand her ground and keep the venue. The parents are out of their minds to expect their responsible older daughter to give up her dream venue because her sister got pregnant. It's a good thing she still has her aunt and in laws by her side. The younger sister probably won't be getting married now because her fiance now knows what kind of person she truly is.
Dear 'Big Sis', The thought has occured to me that if you want to mend the family, in spite of their unjustified behavior to you, perhaps a 'double wedding'? (although I still think B in L would be a d' fool to marry the little spoiled one)
I'm the yang one and never have a new present! Always get from my older brother, sometimes I was mad when he choose a bad outfit, because I know that is going to me in a feel years! Then I get a drastically solution, I become so fat than invert the papers! I become the bigger and star to get the new T-shirt! Today I see we just was super poor! My dad left us when I was 5 and my mom work her a*s of to let us survive! Ps. I get fit after start work
This is kinda like that story where this 10 year old wants to drive this stranger's 65' Mustang but he's 10 and this is an r/entitledparents story
One of my siblings had a shotgun wedding. My mother viewed that sibling as a family leader from then on, because, MARRIED!
I'm going to be contrarian and say give your sister the venue. Your wedding party is already going to be significantly smaller anyway. Go simple and low-cost. Save yourself the stress and save yourselves some money since you clearly won't be getting support from your family now anyway. Treat yourselves to a better honeymoon or a new car or downpayment of a first home. Or some therapy. And get to an ACA meeting. Your family is off the scale dysfunctional.
I've been in a similar situation, but it was about a free trip to Egypt to spend christmas with our dad who got stuck there for work, and my older sister thought that she needed the free trip over there more than I. It's a long fkn story but dads company payed for 1 family member only and both my dad and my sister decided who should go without informing me about the option even existing, so I was left on my own over the christmas holidays. My sister left her son - 3 months old at the time, alone with his dad - who was about to celebrate his first christmas without his dad who had died a few months before this, and she took a free trip to Egypt. To me she justified it with "I will never get another chance to go to Egypt again". Two years later she did the same thing again when our dad worked overseas over the christmas holidays, but this time it was a free trip to India. Today, like 12 years later, she STILL has no idea why I don't want to see the photos she took or hear the stories she wants to tell. She is without a doubt the favourite, and I hate her.
I just will never understand why people go absolutely apesh*t over their weddings.
Find yourself another family! One that will support you and understand your decisions, because your current one sure as hell aren't doing that. You booked THREE YEARS in advance, and your so-called "family", your "loved ones", tell you to drop all of that stressful planning for your SISTER? Who, may I add, spontaneously changed their wedding date and was completely disorganised. They can't find a better venue, so be it. You and your fiance were on the ball and knew exactly what you wanted, you deserve the venue way more. It isn't even about the venue at this stage, it's about supporting your family. I hate my guardians so much and I can't wait to leave them when I turn eighteen but they would and have never done/said something this bad to me before.
I don't understand what's the pregnancy have to do with anything in this story. They can have the baby, get married in 5 years from now. The couple is the same, the baby has the same parents, regardless of their paper-given marital status. The "big expensive dream wedding" should be the last thing on the young couple minds - focusing on getting their own place, organize the nursery and focusing on Lamaze classes and training on how to be a parent. Nothing wrong with it - focus on the blessing of that child, not on the exhausting wedding. Just my 2 cents.
Pretty clear the younger self entitled prick of a sister doesn't deserve the venue and isn't going to last in her marriage. F her. She wasn't the one who had the forethought to planned and the determination to survive a 3 year wait list.
No Sis, just tell your bratty sibling and horrid family, "We don't do that here." and walk away, infact, run as fast as you can away from them!
I don't even believe the sister is pregnant. Looks like she is jealous of her sister's wedding and just wants to steal the dream day with everything ready and paid. Probably would make op give the dress to her too.
like what the actual fruck was the sister think she was doing "oMG HOLY FRACK HONEY LETS GET MARRIED ON BASICALLY THE SAME DAY AS MY SIS LOLOLOLOLOLOL OMG LETS BULLY HER INTO GIVING US HER VENUE WHICH SHE HAS WAITED THREE YEARS FOR LMAOOOOO XD"
You've thought 3 years ahead to plan and book a wedding. Her getting herself knocked up isn't your or your fiancé's fault, therefore she should go f**k herself.
Oh and uninvite your whole family. You don't want drama and unfair judgement at your wedding and believe me, you won't miss such people that play favourites.
Load More Replies...My brain just cannot comprehend this situation. Thank the Lord, my family never picked favorites and love and treat my younger sister and I equally. I feel really bad for the OP. I'm stressed out for OP and angry just reading about the insane level of entitlement with her family, but her in laws sound really awesome!
Uhm, NO! Not your problem the little hussy refuses, or is too stupid to figure out BC, and got knocked up out of wedlock, without knowing the poor guy long. Tell her to try being an adult for once in her life!! She doesn't even deserve a courthouse wedding! She can plan now, or after her irresponsibility pops out, FOR HER OWN DAMN WEDDING!!!!
Wow, you f*****g b***h. Imagine being such a whiny c**t that you couldn't even do something for your sister. It's a baby for f**k sake, can't you move somewhere? People make mistakes ok, some people just can't control it, and what you're doing is ruining this baby's life. Infact, you know what, I can diagnose you with something similar, it's called being a colossal b***h, you sad excuse for a human being. Actually f*****g stupid whore.
Its a cost to you with no benefit, so ask for something in return. Perhaps they could pay for some of your wedding?
Perhaps some kind of compromise? However, I do think taking your venue, even with the expectation of a baby, is still unfair. If you are going to learn to care for another human being, you should learn to care for yourself first, and that includes getting your own venue on your own with your husband/SO.
I think at this point you should just tell your sister she can have the venue because the negativity has tainted it for you now anyway - it won't represent as happy a day for you anymore but will probably include a reminder of the selfishness she has shown. Wish her well and walk away from her and the venue because if you book somewhere else you will still always remember the beauty of the celebration of a union between two selfless people... whereas your sister will regret getting what she wants because her day will remind her of her selfish behaviour instead and the venue won't mean the same to her. Then of course you can be a bit smug forever because you're clearly the nicer sister 🙌🏻 good luck whatever you decide ❤️
If she does give up the venue, and suddenly becomes pregnant herself, will the sister gladly return the venue? I highly doubt it.
being me, I would say to the family that they are welcome to give you all the money you spent back, and pay you for your time planning, then elope with the fiance and not invite any of them. It means you won't have your dream wedding, but revenge is sweet. Regardless of what happens, this is situation destroys family ties, no matter what you choose.
My first thought is...you plan your wedding date based on the availability of a "venue"?!!!!! What the hell? Do it when it is the right time, not when a venue is open for one flipping day! The marriage is the important thing, not THE WEDDING, so when you get married should be decided based on real, emotional, and practical concerns regarding the MARRIAGE, not regarding the WEDDING. That's really, really shocking.
Something the selfish sister could've at least suggested was marrying together and sharing the cost. But this is absolutely selfish and ridiculous.
If the wedding is September aren't your invitations already sent?? Your sister is the one being selfish. She and your parents put you in a terrible position. How dare they be mad at you ! They are going to ruin your wedding that you waited so long for .
Let me guess: if everyone was on her side, she is the one always gets what she wants. And "never ask you for anything" is just a lie as a big as a whale. You should not give up your dreamed venue. Rhe ones who really love you will be ok with your choice.
That unborn fetus is more of an adult than most of OP's family. She should stick with her husband-to-be, and his family, and sever her ties to her own family.
I agree with the person who said ‘help her find a venue’ because that helps smooth things over with the families AND gives the sister a venue that’s not the OP’s. ALSO: WHY ON EARTH are the parents supporting the sister here? As a little sister, if I ever tried this, my parents would be like ‘HECK NO, IT’S HER VENUE!’ The parents are just inexplicable here.
You need to call and provoke your family more just so they get so pissed at you that they decided not to come to your wedding. Better than having them there and watch a soap drama starring your family. Oh and buy 3 cartons of condom for your sister as her wedding gift.
Asking to have a shared wedding would have been a little bit bold but almost understandable but basically asking someone to give up their wedding (bet you'd see the money you put in too...not) is in the delusional range
She does't "owe" her sister a "shared" wedding. Forget it.
Load More Replies...Everyone on Bored Panda has triggers the thickness of paper. This is a s****y reddit, nobody here knows the meaning of quality
I don't know how much of this I believe. Any family this screwed up probably has lots of skeleton, issues and dysfunctions that are not mentioned in this story that may be affecting people's actions.
For sure, in the real world, things are more subtil than in this type of tall tale
Load More Replies...Screw that! That c**t can make her own plans, for her own wedding!!
Load More Replies...But that's only fueling the problem, not fixing it.
Load More Replies...There's something to be said for not rewarding bad behavior and selfishness. I'm also just guessing here, but I don't think this is the first time she's been asked to put her life on hold for precious baby sister. If she doesn't stop it now, she never will. Be strong, OP. Just because you share DNA does not make these people good for you.
Load More Replies...But in that case, younger entitled sister wins.
Load More Replies...The sister is extremely selfish to expect that of you. If it’s too stressful for her to organise a wedding whilst she is pregnant then she can wait til after the baby is born or get married at a registry office etc. There is no excuse for the sisters behaviour and just because she is pregnant does not give her the right to manipulate others to get her way and same goes to the rest of the family taking her side and trying to manipulate you also. So glad you have your in-laws and aunt to stand by you. Best wishes on your wedding day and hope all goes well.
The sister and her family are basically all a******s. F**k off already. The good news is she is marrying into a logical and reasonable family that loves her for her.
She’s losing a toxic family and gaining a protective one. Sounds like a win-win.
Load More Replies...I predict all the comments are going to say she should keep the venue so I'm going to be different and suggest that it be decided with Mortal Kombat, each sister choose a champion and have them fight to the death, winner gets the venue.
There's nothing to fight for. One sister booked in due time. The other didn't. Condoms are cheap.
Load More Replies...Yup, that's wedding for you! Won't be one without the drama. My mom had a proper meltdown because my dad whom she is divorced from was going to walk me down the aisle saying that was supposed to be her moment. She was further enraged by the fact that I invited my grandfather on my dads side and my stepbrothers that I've known for the last 15years. My sister didn't want to be a bridesmaid because she couldn't choose her outfit, but still cried because I didn't allocate hair or make up for her on the day so ended up taking my moms spot. They weren't there when I was getting ready and sat with grumpy stiff upper lip faces the entire night of the wedding. The morning after they came into our honeymoon suite picking a fight with us because we didn’t make them feel welcome. I can honestly say they ruined my wedding despite all the other really great memories I have of the day. Uninvite them and focus on the people that have your back.
Wow - some people. It's your day, not your mother's. I don't think people must do everything a bride requests (cos Bridezilla's exist) but having your father walk you down the aisle and choosing your sister's dress are fairly normal wedding components! I see 'Don't Tell The Bride' sometimes and when mum's act like it's their day and they have some say... nuh-uh. You aren't paying, so you aren't saying.
Load More Replies...Yeah, I have a little spoiled sister myself. My mom used to blame me for her being unemployed, because obviously it was my responsibility to find her a job (at the time I was 26 and working in an IT company, and my sister was 24 and didn't know how to turn on the laundry machine). I told my mom that there are numerous websites with job offerings and she just needs to send out her CV. The response was - she doesn't have a CV, because she doesn't know how to write one. And I was the bad guy because I refused to write it for her. Love my family.
Not all little sisters are that way. I actually paved the way for my older sister to get into college long after she thought it was impossible for her to get an education. And while I got a meager Law Enforcement and Forensic Anthropology degree..my sister goes out and gets an Environmental Engineering and Accounting degree. Mine was delayed due to raising and autistic son..her was delayed from taking care of our father before he passed. But we are still supportive of each other and have each other's backs. I would never ask my sister to give up a day that is so important to her and steal her glory. Some families are just more understanding than others. And I've always lived by the philosophy..if you want something..you have to earn it..it will not be handed to you. Wondering why your mother couldn't take the time to find her a job or help her write a CV if she thinks it's so out of your sister's capabilities to do it on her own.
Load More Replies...So the dad tells her 'its just a venue'. Doesnt that logic also applies for the sister? She can easily get married somewhere else, its just a venue.
But its not "just a venue" for the pregnant sister! Obviously this is very important to her and we wouldn't want to the spoilt little sister sad, would we?
Load More Replies...Having a baby inside is not a 'permit' to have everything you want. I understand she's on hormones but still... Responsible adult people shouldn't expect to get what they want by crying fits. After all, it'll teach her restraint she'll definitely need when the baby appears.
Why would anyone even ask this? How utterly selfish. Being pregnant doesn't mean everyone has to run around in small circles arranging your life for you. After all the hard work and anticipation? Clearly didn't offer to pay for it either. Sis is going to have a nasty shock when she realises the baby isn't going to raise itself and she'll need to pull her weight. Good grief.
Hopefully the sister won't expect the parents to take care of their grandchild all the time!
Load More Replies...I feel sorry for you. Weddings make family go crazy. We had our fair share of stress with my family as well because I didn't invite my one brother to the wedding, since we haven't spoken for 3 years prior to our wedding. We fought a lot and I just decided to cut him out of my life. My dad also threatened not to come, mom was crying also saying she will not go if my dad does not go. We just stood by our decision and said f**k it. If you don't want to turn up, it's your own choice. Luckily my dad realized his threats just made it worse and he apologized and they did show up. Stand your ground. I hope they come to their senses, but if not, be ready to have people there that actually care about you even if it excludes them. For crying out load, I mean they can wait until after the birth in any case if it's stressing her out that much.
Exactly. If sister has a medical condition aggravated by stress, then she ought to be in a hospital, not at a wedding... particularly her own.
Load More Replies..."Don't negotiate with terrorists" ... this is the perfect mentality when dealing with manipulative family!
As one of the comments in the article said, her sister having a problem isn't an emergency for her. Sure, her sister might not be up to planning a wedding while pregnant, but if that's the case they should just wait until the kid is born to get married. Or their parents could plan a wedding for the sister if they're so bent on her getting married. It seems to be the only reason they picked September is because her sister thought she could just have the venue and everything because "baby." People saying that they could do a double wedding- f**k no. At this point it's looking like her sister's relationship isn't on the most solid ground, and sharing that day with them is almost worse than giving them the wedding. Being pregnant doesn't mean anyone owes you anything- yes, being considerate of someone is important, but only so far as giving them your seat or getting them a glass of water- not giving them a freaking wedding.
Spoiled sister could have a small wedding with just the family. Very little stress. In fact the money saved will be needed for life with baby.
Load More Replies...Wow woman, just wow. I mean, the comments say it all. Sometimes family is just literally a blood connection, and some friends or even in laws are better at being your family than your own. Favoritism is such a sad thing. Honestly, I hope she lives happily ever after. When her father said about it not being about the venue it's about the person you love I thought he was taking her side, meaning her sister didn't have to hijack her hard work at planning the whole thing but boy was I wrong. Kudos to her in laws for providing the support her family lacked.
What horrible people ! I am glad for her that she has a kind in law family. Poor BIL, life will be complicated for him with such a wife...
If he still chooses her after this BS, he brings it all on himself. I'll feel NO pity if he chooses to destroy his life and happiness.
Load More Replies...Disassociate from your whole family now, just cut them all out and permanently because I guarantee they will never let this go and will bring it up at holidays and other major events and hopefully will live to regret it. If I were her sister's fiance, man I would be seeing red flags and major warning alarms telling me to run and run fast and far! Little sis is a little c**t and won't stop being one until the family puts its foot down which I doubt they will. Get away from that toxic mess. And congrats on the PhD! That is the real accomplishment!
Sister's relationship probably won't even last until the end of pregnancy, that's why she wants to get married asap!
Load More Replies...Any reason why the parents can't help the sister plan her own wedding instead of insisting OP give up her perfectly planned wedding a month before the date? What a bunch of a******s.
All things considered, one has to wonder if little sister didn't intentionally get pregnant just to instigate this situation. It will also allow her to pull the "first grandchild" card with mom and dad. If, as it appears, little sister is the parental favorite, just imagine how mom and dad will treat grandkids. If this situation does not lead to a family estrangement, big sister may want to make sure her children only visit grandparents when little sister and brood are not around. They will most likely play favorites with grandkids also... with "first grandchild" getting the most attention.
Given her attitude I can see her doing that to force her boyfriend to propose, but I don't think she's bright enough to come up with it as a plan to foul her sister's wedding.
Load More Replies...Have a backyard wedding if you must get married before the baby is born. How selfish of the entire family to not even realize how wrong it is to ask of the Older sister to just give up her venue that she has planned for 3 years. What the hell. It's so weird that they all expected that
I'm so, so happy this woman is not caving to that horrible family. Once you let someone treat you like a doormat, they always will. And if this garbage family gives her the cold shoulder going forward, it sounds like she's marrying into a very nice replacement one with much less entitlement and drama. I'd bet a considerable amount of money that that sister will be divorced within three years anyway. Entitled brats like that either end up doing something stupid and selfish that sabotages the marriage or they simply drive the other person away because they're so exhausting to deal with.
Let me guess. Your sister doesn't have a PhD. Or probably a job. Just because she doesn't plan well (getting pregnant) doesn't mean you have to plan for her. Also, my guess is there has been family drama before. And there certainly will be now. This will just be the beginning. Even if you gave up your venue, you will be blamed for something else. I am so sorry your family doesn't have your back. Sometimes, you have to move on and make your own family with your husband. Good luck.
If it doesn't matter where you get married but who you're marrying- the other sister can rent a barn somewhere and get married there. Just no.
Sometimes it sucks when you realize the family you were born into aren't the people you thought they were. And even though your sister was already getting married, I can't help but think that she's the victim of her own bad choices. If she knew medical complications could arise from a pregnancy, then perhaps she should have practiced birth control or abstinence until after the wedding. There should be no reason for big sister to have to fix little sisters mistakes. If you make a mistake, own up to it and accept that you, yourself, are responsible for the outcome of your actions. Nobody else is required to bail you out. Glad that future in-laws are backing you up and will support you.
Her mother said that, and was probably making it up.
Load More Replies...The exact first thing I thought was "Poor planning on your part..." Little sister needs to grow up. 23 is well old enough to learn that it ain't all about you, honeylamb!
You will sit your family down and say this: "I am keeping the venue. You will accept my decision and be invited, or you will not accept it and stay away from my wedding and stay out of my life". No discussion, no questions, get up and leave.
Keep the venue and keep the wedding date. The people that disagree and sided with the sister can de-invite themselves. You don't want those people at your wedding. Family or otherwise. Blood is not thicker than water. Your soon to be husband is and should be the family priority.
I was gonna suggest double wedding à la Pride and Prejudice, just to keep the peace (that's me, family peacemaker)......till I read the OP's follow up. Shame on Mom and Dad for playing mind games with their own children. Sis's entitlement is obviously the product of a lifetime of that. If Sis feels the need to make sure that knot is tied before the baby is born, well, that's what courthouses are for. Or, since it's the 21st century and nobody's going to shun her from the community for "having a baby out of wedlock," she can wait and plan a beautiful wedding with the baby all dressed up, which will definitely make for winning wedding photos.
Peacemaker is actually a very dysfunctional family role. Get yourself some therapy and boundaries.
Load More Replies...I've read several comments about a double wedding, but that won't work cause little sister is too entitled and will think it's all about her. I can only imagine the stress of every fit she will throw about any and every little detail she will want to change. Plus, she will most definitely want to make the spotlight more on herself. She has already made that clear. That kind of thing only works for people that can get along and can respect each other. Little sister has already shown she can't do either. Ugh, what a nightmare that would be!
One thing that annoys me is also the fact, that they make pregnancy into something horrible. If you are healthy, pregnancy is not something that prevents you from doing things.
I think your parents should have been more arbitrary rather than stick to your sister's side (a sister who manipulated them into all of this). I hope you stand your ground and be strong.
Emotional blackmail has never really worked. The best result you can hope to have is that the one you are blackmailing becomes more determined to not give in to your silly demands. It's also a sure way to lose the last bit of respect the one you are trying to blackmail might have had.
It seems to me that you just found out how dysfunctional your own family is and in the process also began to reap the benefits of also now being a member of a family with their priorities in all the right positions. Congrats! Have a great marriage. The wedding is not important in the long run.
it sucks being the older sister to a younger sister to believes they are entitled to the rewards you reap from hard work. It's stressful and hurtful to deal with family like this, I know.
I don't understand ... is there only one wedding venue in the whole city, state or country?
Why doesn't matter. She reserved it and waited three years. She waited to get what she wanted. Her patience was rewarded. Prego-sis is an entitled monster. I'd completely uninvite her because guaranteed she will make the wedding ALL about her.
Load More Replies...as a man i dont realy care about where iam going to be married. it was both stressfull, mentally and financially consuming. i hope i never had to go through that part of my life again. but we all did it for someone we care about. and if another person even had an idea about ruining it or sabotage it. someone going to arrest me and put me in mental hospital instead of jail beacuse of what im gonna do to that person,
I thought my family was the only one f****d up enough to pull such a stunt. I have totally cut my family out of my life and have honestly NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. I am in my mid 40's now, happily married with 2 beautiful girls and a full grown boy. I know if my family was in our lives, there would be all kinds of stupid shot like that popping up. It usually starts small. For them to start with this, just go ahead and keep them at arms length. Best of luck. Enjoy your wedding. Enjoy your marriage.... I hope they eventually come around and apologize for this stupidity, but once they show their a*s... "When someone shows you who they are.... believe them."
Using the pregnancy to get her way is the act of a spoiled brat. I've been pregnant...it didn't stop my brain function. She can still make phone calls, search the internet, or hire a planner. For her to even ASK that is BEYOND rude.
I learned, perhaps a little too slowly, that toxic people need to be removed from your life even (or especially) if they are family. Stay firm and assertive. Point out that giving Sis what she wants would be taking something important away from you fiance as well as from you. Just keep saying No with minimal explanation. You will soon find out just how toxic your family is and can proceed accoringly.
I agree with Inyeoni in the above comments. That summed it perfectly. Seems her family only care about her sister anyway, so they can sod off.
So if the dad said the venue doesn’t matter, it the person you’re marrying…why is it so important the poor planning sister should get it? Unbelievable! Absolutely no way I would hand any of the wedding over to her!
People say "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family", I disagree. Keep the ones you like and boot the rest.
Having come from a similar situation myself (I’m the younger sister, but she is literally the golden child- blonde and perfect), I just want to make one point: she has already won. The damage to your wedding is already done; it will not be what it should have been because of her actions. As hard as it is, the true toxic relationship is between the OP and her parents. They have reinforced this behavior for the sisters entire life. After a similar incident I cut ties with my parents two years ago. Although I still get random aggressive texts from my father, my life truly is better without all of the associated drama. Focus on you love and happiness. They are the ones who are missing out.
Push comes to shove: You got a WHOLE back up family because yours obviously cant get their s*** together. I'm glad your BIL is at least a decent person and I'm sorry he has to deal with this, I'm also sorry you've had to put up with her all these years and hope this wakes you up and you get a chance to put a stop to all this favoritism stuff
Part Three Update The Sister Knows! My sister saw this story while browsing on her reddit acc. She lost her mind. She accused me of painting her like a looney and misinterpreting facts. (Info: My sister got wind of the situation due to various Media outlets and went on reddit) Our heroine gets a spine and long story short texts her: I am sick and tired to bending to your will. My whole life I have been your servant and your doormat. Remember all the birthdays I had to share with you because you would throw a tantrum because you didn't get presents? ...But the thing that has hurt me most till now is when you ruined my graduation. I am done. I admit that I also spoiled you but I will not any longer. ...I have spent too much time planing MY wedding to gift it to you.And if you want to ruin our ionship..then go ahead. Sister’s psycho response? She tries to TAKE it anyway: “
Wedding planner : Hello dear, I got the message from your mother and will proceed with the rebooking of the venue on the spot . However this will have extra costs as we have to change the names on the contract. Please come by my office tommorow so we can sign the new contract. / Sister: Thats great ! I'll be there at 9!” The wedding planner was horrified after finding out what happened and this call never took place. They offered free security to the bride. I feel sad for them and angry at that crappy sister. Result: The couple put passwords with majority of our vendors and also with the venue directly. They cancelled the catering paid by the parents. Thank you again for helping me see how toxic my family is. I will try to sort it out. If they apologize from the bottom of their heart they will be allowed into my wedding but if not... Then well... I still have my brother (who will be walking me down to the aisle) and my aunt.
Load More Replies...Why does the sister need to marry? She could have the baby without a wedding (obviously, she's already pregnant). It would be much more easy for her to plan one - if she insists so much to have a signature under a stupid piece of paper as a proof she loves the father of her child - for after the delivery and the nursing period. Thus, she would be able to enjoy her own wedding without being sick half of the time, being able to drink, dance etc...
My first thought was, what a manipulative little b***h. Crying, probably only in front of others for effect. The parents are insensitive douches as well. Sounds more like step parents to the OP. I'm the youngest and 'favrit' of mom but I'd be damned if I'd ever try to claim my older brother and sister's stuff by crying and demanding. The little b***h would probably be laughing and giggling at stealing the venue from you after the fact. There is no win for you except to keep the venue on principle. Teach them you are no pushover on things worth fighting for. Hope everything works out for you. Don't know the answers but treasure those who treat you well and keep those toxic ones well away.
This is just a classic. The sister who never plan anything and always gets in trouble get all the petty and the one who is planning her s**t has to plan for the other one. Lived it and i see a lot of it everywhere
I like the in laws. Sounds like a much less drama riddled family. And her future brother in law may need to reconsider marriage, baby or not. Seen too much of this kind of s**t in my own family.
This sucks, I'm so sorry you have to be in that spot. The selfish mofos are ur sister and ur family for even trying to take away ur special day. You can't be the one who books both weddings, isn't that what, ummm- wedding planners are for? If she can't afford it offer to have the wedding in ur backyard but you'll be damned if u give up ur planning, excitement and everything else. At the end of the day if your family chooses her over u, and not both, F them, and take ur new family that you're marrying in to be yours. In time if they're worth it they will apologize- if not, you're better off.
In IT, we have a saying ... a lack of preparedness on your part does not demand any sense of urgency on my part ... I think this applies to this situation, as well ...
When I first started reading the text, I was thinking 'why not consider double wedding', but by the time I got to the end, my opinion switched to 'hell no'. There are people in my country that think that when one is pregnant, you must cater for her and every single wish of hers needs to be granted at any cost, and I think it is absurd. No, your sister is not entitled to it just because she is pregnant, and it is extremely selfish of her to even ask, let alone expect it (which she does). She has so many options (get married in courthouse with big reception next year, find a different venue etc.) and she can ask for your help to organize, but take over yours, no. Your family is also insane to expect and support such a horrendeous idea. Your BIL, fiance and in laws are sane and great support, and don't let anyone make you change your mind. Also, you shouldn't feel guilt over this situation, you are not the a**hole, they are. Good luck, have a great wedding and rest of your life.
her parents in law are amazing!! thankfully that side of the family is totally normal :)
This poor girl. I'm so glad she found a good fiance and her husband's family is willing to care for her like their own daughter ;(
That's just dumb. If she doesn't want the stress of planning a wedding, she can just have a simple backyard wedding and have her family help out, like my mother did for her wedding when she was 9 months pregnant with me. The sister just wants a perfect wedding without putting any effort into it
Why not have the kid be born out of wedlock? It's the 21st century, not the 19th. After giving birth, the sister can take as much time as she wants to organise a wedding. If she didn't want a kid out of wedlock, she should have followed the old & outdated rule not to have sex before marriage or to use the more modern approach of protection from both sides (pill & condom).
This is a family dynamic called "scapegoating." Family is supposed to be our first foray into society, but sometimes it's not you---it's them. Limit contact with destructive people no matter who they are.
Is it even BIL's baby? Seriously, trying to strongarm a quickie wedding in under a month, and likely expecting OP to give up everything she has planned for so long? Suspicious.....
What an entitled baby sister! And the parents enabling her. Stop. It. Let your kids accept the responsibility for her actions. Baby sister chose to get pregnant and for some reason decided that your wedding is owed to her? Crazy. Good for your Fiancée for supporting you. You plan. You schedule. You pay. Your venue. Full stop. Feel free to show this to your parents, but I am sure that baby sister is crying and whining and telling them that you are ruining her life. You have done NOTHING wrong. Do not let anyone guilt you. If baby sister asked this, she has some issues with jealousy. And you can't fix that.
Somebody need to to slap your sister for her to realize that her request is so selfish and unacceptable... but then who will do that? Your family need a reality slapping too. And this will not be last request that they will do, i bet in the future there will be more unreasonable, selfish and nonsense requests coming from them. You are doing the right thing girl, don't feel guilty.
Well OP's family (most of them at least) are rather selfish of asking this, but at least OP got her dream day and it ended so sweet for her in quite a few senses :)
Sadly logic won’t work on people like this so go and have your dream wedding knowing there is nothing you could do.
More updates https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/cr7dc9/my_family_is_pressuring_me_to_give_my_23f_sister/
You and your fiance have been together for 8 years, but you did not get pregnant and ruin someone else's life or wedding. People need to take responsibility for their behaviour, that includes your parents. You're the one with the PhD, so you're not stupid or an idiot, rational and logical thought processes are what you deal with. Deal with this one in the same way and stand up for yourself, it's the right thing to do.
What a horrible family!To think that sister is about to be a mother and she is still throwing tantrums. I would cut contact with them altogether.
OMG did the wedding happen i need to know, what a b***h of a sister !!!! she got pregnant why cant she just bloody wait until after the baby !!! at leased the BIL already told her not to ask and is on the brides side, id be fuming it must be such a horrid place to be in, easier said than done but dont let her s****y me me me attitude ruin you big day !! you did the right thing you planned ahead and to me it seems like she wanted the venue but couldn't get it her self so decided to create this s**t because she cant organise a p**s up in a brewery if she tried i cannot believe your mum and dad and most of the family think what she is asking you is acceptable !! and if preclampsia runs in the family even more reason to wait that or she shouldn't have got with child until after, i know these things cant be planned but knowing you already had a date she needed to be a bit more careful !! JESUS H
This is so wrong on so many levels for a sister, family, any person to do to another, no matter what their reason is. Being pregnant needling to get married in a hurry is something of the past, if the sister had a terminal illness and only 6 months to live, would be an emergency wedding, not a surprise pregnancy!
dump the biological family, except your aunt, adopt your in-laws as your real family because they obviously truly love you.
What wonderful in-laws! Your family are a bunch of treacherous, conniving arseholes, f**k them all and have yourself a good life. I do hope you don't invite them to your wedding - they will try everything to ruin it. Your in-laws are your new family and you deserve a lovely family. F**k your b***h sister.
This whole situation is insane. Who does something like this and expects to succeed?! I seriously hope OP and her fiancee end up together and happy, but this is too much stress too expect anyone to go through. Edit: at least she is marrying into a reasonable and supportive family
Little sister has already damaged big sis s well planned wedding enough by dividing the family. Have a beautiful and perfect wedding just as you planned, invite who you like and un-invite anyone problematic. -and if I may suggest an addition; have a couple of bouncers attending just in case...
That is shocking her mother called her fiancée's parents to tell them what an "awful daughter" she is being that's basically if the pregnant daughter can't get married then your not getting married either !! Omfg
I dream of a future of when people aren't brought up thinking that their wedding day is "supposed" to be the best day of their life. All of this unnecessary drama to put yourself in the poor house so you can be the center of attention for 1 day.
This is just disgusting. Eugh. Just cause someone is pregnant makes them more in need of a wedding? Eugh. I can barely type it's so disgusting. Medical school pales in comparison to getting pregnant I guess! I'm engaged and just imagining this makes me so upset. My family has problems but my sister trying to steal my wedding is not one of them.
Simple solution, planned wedding goes as planned, and unplanned wedding immediately follows. Otherwise I'm stumped on how this story could be anything but a work of fiction to garner some attention for the author.
Ban your family that wants you to give up your venue from coming. If they can't see that they are in the wrong by a long long way then they don't value you as family so do the same with them. Stick with your fiance's family they sounds much better. Sorry your family sucks they are so wrong for even asking that let alone getting pissed.. You waited 3 years not just waited then planned, HAD THE VENUE SET FOR 3 YEARS!! OMG your sister is so selfish and she had the gall to call you selfish..
Its obvious that your sister is a selfish, inconsiderate, s**t who can't be bothered to plan anything for if she did she wouldn't have been knocked up before being married. If your family can't see that and appreciate the fact that you have your life together and are not a hot mess like your sister then I say kick their sorry asses to the curb and enjoy your new family, aka the in-laws. I think you and your fiance have every right to be angry with your family.
This reminds me a lot of my family. My husband and I spend a year planning our next vacation so we can save for it and not use credit cards. So we plan on going to Seattle to see his dad and then drive down to Oregon to see my parents. My sister and her kids are planning on coming up as well. We planned our trip around her kid's school vacation, and everything was booked 6 months in advance. 2 weeks before our trip his dad tells us they are moving to Las Vegas, can't wait a few weeks, but whatever we will go visit my family. Nope my sister decides that she has to get a wound on her stomach from a surgery years ago that hasn't healed right, fixed now, so her and the kids will not be coming up and my parents have to go to Reno to take care of her kids. So our trip to was totally screwed because of inconsiderate family. I should also note that this would have been the last time I could have seen my father alive, he died a short time later of liver cancer. Families suck!
Load More Replies...Easy, just don't invite your family. It will save so much money, less people to feed. I think family is really overrated. If you have a s**t family then don't engage with them. I have a racist mother and I haven't spoken to her in years and it feels so much better not having her in my life. If your family makes you feel like s**t just start a new one that doesn't include them. The whole love your family no matter what is complete b******t. You are under no obligation to love or tolerate terrible people no matter how much DNA you have in common.
Tbh, I respect her desicion not to give it to her. If she planned it for three years, I think she deserves it more than a pregnant sister. The way the family reacted was just horrible. You're usually supposed to respect whatever desicions someone gives you if your asked a question like that. And being put on the spot like that sucks. The sister said she always got what she wanted. Well, if she wanted this certain place for her venue, and she paid for it, she had planned three years for, then yes. She's gonna get what she wants.
Who the h3ll goes to maternity classes? Seriously, asking for a friend because I've already had two children and am pregnant with my third. Never once have I been to a "maternity class".
Is anyone telling the pregnant daughter that *her* tantrums are why everyone is upset? Nope. We have a princess like that in our family. Hope OP just hands them the venue, flowers, caterer, etc., and ALL the bills, and makes a saner family.
The sister is a greedy, grasping b***h. Her family need a good slap!! The OP should definitely go ahead with her wedding she planned and tell her sister to go f**k herself.
Yeah no you did everything right and actually planned everything out and didnt get pregnant during the wedding planning. Not fair for someone to come along and try to scoop that away from you just because she got pregnant and didnt make any wedding plans. She was irresponsible and you were responsible, you earned the wedding. The family said "youve waited this long you can wait longer" well the same can be said for your sister, she can wait. Just because she got knocked up doesnt mean she needs to get married right away...
Who are you aiming that comment to? The older sister or the younger? The older one carefully planned her wedding a few years in advance, why shouldn't she get married? Her husband and his family sound like terrific people.
Load More Replies...I am so sad that this has happened to you! My sister is my best friend and life-long comrade. She has taken a piece of joy from your special day, and you are never going to forget that- though, you seem to be the type of person that has a bigger heart and will forgive because you love her. My heart breaks for this situation. I would likely revolt, still pay for the venue and then get married randomly by a boat captain on the beach and throw a party a few days later to let everyone know they cant steal my joy, or my wedding venue!!!!
OMG this is basically story of my life and my younger sister . I'm sure this could happened to us! which much worse reactions from my family... I can't say how much glad I am she didn't accept...
My take, keep the venue, disinvite the family, cut off ties with the sister. Make husbands family your 'new' family and spend all your time with them and relations that stood by your decision. Even if you invite your family, they will remind you at every turn how you 'ruined' your sisters wedding. Heck, she might not even be pregnant.
First off congrats on the upcoming wedding. Glad you stuck to your guns and kept the venue. I do hope you update us after the honeymoon of course with some lovely pictures of your special day. ❤🥂❤
Little sis's fiance should see the red flags coming. If he's smart there isn't going to be a second wedding to worry about.
What a bizarre idea - to want to steal someone else's wedding arrangements. Especially, if they have prepared for THREE YEARS. And if it's all about the importance of marrying the right partner, why the hell does the sister need a fancy location in the first place? A easy going barbeque in the garden should be enough for a shotgun wedding. Or just marry legally and do a big church wedding a year or so later - with a cute baby in the pictures. I never thought, I'd say something like that but: The poor bride!!
My sister and I would NEVER have pulled this with each other! Keep your date, do you! Do what makes you and your soon to be hubby happy! GOOD LUCK BABE!
I have sister much like yours. If you ever give in to her 'wants' you will never stop. It will be expected that you always cater to her. Your parents have raised her to expect every one to giver her what she demands. --- I hope her to be husband realizes what he is marrying. It will only get worse. He might want to reconsider marrying her. I feel sorry for the baby. She will insist he give into her every time or she will go running to the parents. You will probably get called to baby sit every time she wants to do something and wants free baby sitting.
Yeah I’d nope the hell out of that family right quick. Ditch ‘em all and shack up with the in-laws. Ugh..
If my sister pulled this stunt with me I’d have no issue telling her to p*ss off. Seriously, wtf is up with that family?
I straight up went thru the whole ordeal of resetting my password just so I could log in just to comment on this. What in the actual f**k?? There is something seriously wrong with that family. This poor girl, being coerced into just giving away her dream wedding? KEEP👏THE👏VENUE "Lil sis" moves her wedding to Sept just assuming she'll be given her sisters long awaited dream venue? Look just because "lil sis" has CLEARLY been given everything she wants her whole life w/o doing jack for it n OBVIOUSLY expects the same here. That does not mean big sis should have any obligation to cover for her sisters bad planning, irresponsibility and downright blatant disregard for what she has already planned, waited and dreamt of. CLEARLY "lil sis" is unhinged. In no way does she deserve the dream venue. Get married somewhere else u selfish b***h!! God reading this was infuriating. F**k ur sister n ur family. I know their fam but no loving family should expect you to make this huge of a sacrifice.
Wow, this is just unbelievable. Wtf is wrong with the family, why would they act like that? If anyone deserves the anger, it's that spoiled brat of a sister for even asking in the first place.
My sister in law did something to that effect. You know what? She is still is the same, selfish, inconsiderate, and self centered. Even after 30 plus years, she still thinks that way. Once you give in, people like her will always expect that she deserves more just because.
Besides all the excellent suggestions about passwords etc., the OP definitely needs to get a literary agent and a co-writer to script and sell this gem to Hollywood.
so... because they acted like teens and couldn't put on a condom... the OP has to give up all her planning, patience, and dream wedding? They're idiots.
I also agree you have to keep your perfect venue you planned and waited for so long. You deserve happiness. Silly little sister who can't even control a sexual impulse and gets an unexpected pregnancy deserves a lesson on planning and thinking. Doesn't deserve her bs threated lightly and solved at ypur expense, or she will never learn to be responsible for anything. Who will yake care for that baby? You again? A*****e parents supporting the silly spoiled whiner will not get her far in life. Your morronic parents created helpless little s**t who will always be dependent on others. That's the worst life lesson a parent can teach. At least there is someone with a brain in this family - you, the bigger sis.
Well... Who's bloody fault is it that shes pregnant!!!! was her choice not her sisters!!
But a question comes to my mind: cannot the pregnant lady find another venue? There are plenty of options, I believe any vendor would be happy to arrange, why the parents don't work their asses to make both happy?? I am sorry for the girl, but happy she has great in-laws and afterall this also their son's wedding!!
Ugh. Judging from the familys responses and the classic "you are selfish", little sis must be the pearl in that family. But if you look at what the sisters husband to be said, she is definitely the selfish one! They obviously talked about it beforehand, but little sis just HAD to put her big sister on the spot. Brat. Well.... sadly the only thing to do to keep a good relationship with her family while keeping the venue is a joined wedding. OR: and I don't know why no one suggested it: just help that selfish little assh**** find another venue if she is too "pregnant" to do it herself. Gosh, I planned my wedding when I was already a few months along.
I love that the OP's dad said, 'what's the big deal, it's just a venue?'. Exactly. That's why the entitled little snatch shouldn't care what venue her preggo wedding is at.
No no no. Hellll no. Family Or It they're not Sliding in and stealing your wedding! NOPE. Not your faulty She needs to get married while Knocked up. They can go to the courthouse and have a reception of their choosing after.
Your family sucks...and your sister definitely earned that biggest a*****e award. She knew what she was doing by putting you on the spot like that and asking you in front of the whole family...well kudos for not taking the bait. Why does her pregnancy make her more in need?? I wouldn't be surprised if she made it up just so she could steal your dream venue since she made sure to mention how beautiful it was and she couldn't get a date.
Ur sister is extremely selfish... If she was so concerned should have not f****d before marriage... Atleast used protection. Also tell ur father if venue doesn't matter thn why u r asking me to give up my spot... Do her wedding Iin court else should have thought of holding having sex....
Your sister is a selfish b***h and your parents are insane for allowing that kind of behavior to continue. I hope you get bouncers for your wedding to keep out the drama and I wish you the very best!!! Congratulations on marring into what seems to be a normal and very loving family.
I want to quote the dad's "IT IS JUST A VENUE" then go f**king tell your pregnant daughter that IT IS JUST A VENUE. NO NEED TO BE A BIATCH ABOUT IT. YOUR OLDER DAUGHTER LITERALLY PLANNED HER DREAM WEDDING 3. FURKING. YEARS. IN. ADVANCE. Hell yes I am furious over this story
It's almost laughable that anyone in the family even entertained the idea of the sister hijacking the wedding. Utterly ridiculous. She's embarrassed herself by even letting the thought cross her mind. Such a shame that the rest of the family are dancing to her tune. I would be very disappointed if I was the bride.
I’ve known OP’s family for the amount of time it took to read this and I already hate their guts. It will be hard, but now is the best time to cut these people out of her life.
Turn your father's advice back on him. If what truly matters is who you marry and not how you marry them (true but not the point!) then why does your sister need your wedding? She should be able to just go to a JP and get married and the family should be happy about it. Or she could wait until after the baby is born and then get married. For your family to be so manipulative and your sister to be so selfish is inexcusable. Unfortunately, you have set a rather long standing habit of your sister getting her way. That will be a hard habit for your family to break. Stick to your guns and listen to your SO. Best of luck.
I am the younger sister and I would never behave like this toward my big sister. This younger sister is a spoiled, entitled brat and her sister needs to stand her ground and keep the venue. The parents are out of their minds to expect their responsible older daughter to give up her dream venue because her sister got pregnant. It's a good thing she still has her aunt and in laws by her side. The younger sister probably won't be getting married now because her fiance now knows what kind of person she truly is.
Dear 'Big Sis', The thought has occured to me that if you want to mend the family, in spite of their unjustified behavior to you, perhaps a 'double wedding'? (although I still think B in L would be a d' fool to marry the little spoiled one)
I'm the yang one and never have a new present! Always get from my older brother, sometimes I was mad when he choose a bad outfit, because I know that is going to me in a feel years! Then I get a drastically solution, I become so fat than invert the papers! I become the bigger and star to get the new T-shirt! Today I see we just was super poor! My dad left us when I was 5 and my mom work her a*s of to let us survive! Ps. I get fit after start work
This is kinda like that story where this 10 year old wants to drive this stranger's 65' Mustang but he's 10 and this is an r/entitledparents story
One of my siblings had a shotgun wedding. My mother viewed that sibling as a family leader from then on, because, MARRIED!
I'm going to be contrarian and say give your sister the venue. Your wedding party is already going to be significantly smaller anyway. Go simple and low-cost. Save yourself the stress and save yourselves some money since you clearly won't be getting support from your family now anyway. Treat yourselves to a better honeymoon or a new car or downpayment of a first home. Or some therapy. And get to an ACA meeting. Your family is off the scale dysfunctional.
I've been in a similar situation, but it was about a free trip to Egypt to spend christmas with our dad who got stuck there for work, and my older sister thought that she needed the free trip over there more than I. It's a long fkn story but dads company payed for 1 family member only and both my dad and my sister decided who should go without informing me about the option even existing, so I was left on my own over the christmas holidays. My sister left her son - 3 months old at the time, alone with his dad - who was about to celebrate his first christmas without his dad who had died a few months before this, and she took a free trip to Egypt. To me she justified it with "I will never get another chance to go to Egypt again". Two years later she did the same thing again when our dad worked overseas over the christmas holidays, but this time it was a free trip to India. Today, like 12 years later, she STILL has no idea why I don't want to see the photos she took or hear the stories she wants to tell. She is without a doubt the favourite, and I hate her.
I just will never understand why people go absolutely apesh*t over their weddings.
Find yourself another family! One that will support you and understand your decisions, because your current one sure as hell aren't doing that. You booked THREE YEARS in advance, and your so-called "family", your "loved ones", tell you to drop all of that stressful planning for your SISTER? Who, may I add, spontaneously changed their wedding date and was completely disorganised. They can't find a better venue, so be it. You and your fiance were on the ball and knew exactly what you wanted, you deserve the venue way more. It isn't even about the venue at this stage, it's about supporting your family. I hate my guardians so much and I can't wait to leave them when I turn eighteen but they would and have never done/said something this bad to me before.
I don't understand what's the pregnancy have to do with anything in this story. They can have the baby, get married in 5 years from now. The couple is the same, the baby has the same parents, regardless of their paper-given marital status. The "big expensive dream wedding" should be the last thing on the young couple minds - focusing on getting their own place, organize the nursery and focusing on Lamaze classes and training on how to be a parent. Nothing wrong with it - focus on the blessing of that child, not on the exhausting wedding. Just my 2 cents.
Pretty clear the younger self entitled prick of a sister doesn't deserve the venue and isn't going to last in her marriage. F her. She wasn't the one who had the forethought to planned and the determination to survive a 3 year wait list.
No Sis, just tell your bratty sibling and horrid family, "We don't do that here." and walk away, infact, run as fast as you can away from them!
I don't even believe the sister is pregnant. Looks like she is jealous of her sister's wedding and just wants to steal the dream day with everything ready and paid. Probably would make op give the dress to her too.
like what the actual fruck was the sister think she was doing "oMG HOLY FRACK HONEY LETS GET MARRIED ON BASICALLY THE SAME DAY AS MY SIS LOLOLOLOLOLOL OMG LETS BULLY HER INTO GIVING US HER VENUE WHICH SHE HAS WAITED THREE YEARS FOR LMAOOOOO XD"
You've thought 3 years ahead to plan and book a wedding. Her getting herself knocked up isn't your or your fiancé's fault, therefore she should go f**k herself.
Oh and uninvite your whole family. You don't want drama and unfair judgement at your wedding and believe me, you won't miss such people that play favourites.
Load More Replies...My brain just cannot comprehend this situation. Thank the Lord, my family never picked favorites and love and treat my younger sister and I equally. I feel really bad for the OP. I'm stressed out for OP and angry just reading about the insane level of entitlement with her family, but her in laws sound really awesome!
Uhm, NO! Not your problem the little hussy refuses, or is too stupid to figure out BC, and got knocked up out of wedlock, without knowing the poor guy long. Tell her to try being an adult for once in her life!! She doesn't even deserve a courthouse wedding! She can plan now, or after her irresponsibility pops out, FOR HER OWN DAMN WEDDING!!!!
Wow, you f*****g b***h. Imagine being such a whiny c**t that you couldn't even do something for your sister. It's a baby for f**k sake, can't you move somewhere? People make mistakes ok, some people just can't control it, and what you're doing is ruining this baby's life. Infact, you know what, I can diagnose you with something similar, it's called being a colossal b***h, you sad excuse for a human being. Actually f*****g stupid whore.
Its a cost to you with no benefit, so ask for something in return. Perhaps they could pay for some of your wedding?
Perhaps some kind of compromise? However, I do think taking your venue, even with the expectation of a baby, is still unfair. If you are going to learn to care for another human being, you should learn to care for yourself first, and that includes getting your own venue on your own with your husband/SO.
I think at this point you should just tell your sister she can have the venue because the negativity has tainted it for you now anyway - it won't represent as happy a day for you anymore but will probably include a reminder of the selfishness she has shown. Wish her well and walk away from her and the venue because if you book somewhere else you will still always remember the beauty of the celebration of a union between two selfless people... whereas your sister will regret getting what she wants because her day will remind her of her selfish behaviour instead and the venue won't mean the same to her. Then of course you can be a bit smug forever because you're clearly the nicer sister 🙌🏻 good luck whatever you decide ❤️
If she does give up the venue, and suddenly becomes pregnant herself, will the sister gladly return the venue? I highly doubt it.
being me, I would say to the family that they are welcome to give you all the money you spent back, and pay you for your time planning, then elope with the fiance and not invite any of them. It means you won't have your dream wedding, but revenge is sweet. Regardless of what happens, this is situation destroys family ties, no matter what you choose.
My first thought is...you plan your wedding date based on the availability of a "venue"?!!!!! What the hell? Do it when it is the right time, not when a venue is open for one flipping day! The marriage is the important thing, not THE WEDDING, so when you get married should be decided based on real, emotional, and practical concerns regarding the MARRIAGE, not regarding the WEDDING. That's really, really shocking.
Something the selfish sister could've at least suggested was marrying together and sharing the cost. But this is absolutely selfish and ridiculous.
If the wedding is September aren't your invitations already sent?? Your sister is the one being selfish. She and your parents put you in a terrible position. How dare they be mad at you ! They are going to ruin your wedding that you waited so long for .
Let me guess: if everyone was on her side, she is the one always gets what she wants. And "never ask you for anything" is just a lie as a big as a whale. You should not give up your dreamed venue. Rhe ones who really love you will be ok with your choice.
That unborn fetus is more of an adult than most of OP's family. She should stick with her husband-to-be, and his family, and sever her ties to her own family.
I agree with the person who said ‘help her find a venue’ because that helps smooth things over with the families AND gives the sister a venue that’s not the OP’s. ALSO: WHY ON EARTH are the parents supporting the sister here? As a little sister, if I ever tried this, my parents would be like ‘HECK NO, IT’S HER VENUE!’ The parents are just inexplicable here.
You need to call and provoke your family more just so they get so pissed at you that they decided not to come to your wedding. Better than having them there and watch a soap drama starring your family. Oh and buy 3 cartons of condom for your sister as her wedding gift.
Asking to have a shared wedding would have been a little bit bold but almost understandable but basically asking someone to give up their wedding (bet you'd see the money you put in too...not) is in the delusional range
She does't "owe" her sister a "shared" wedding. Forget it.
Load More Replies...Everyone on Bored Panda has triggers the thickness of paper. This is a s****y reddit, nobody here knows the meaning of quality
I don't know how much of this I believe. Any family this screwed up probably has lots of skeleton, issues and dysfunctions that are not mentioned in this story that may be affecting people's actions.
For sure, in the real world, things are more subtil than in this type of tall tale
Load More Replies...Screw that! That c**t can make her own plans, for her own wedding!!
Load More Replies...But that's only fueling the problem, not fixing it.
Load More Replies...There's something to be said for not rewarding bad behavior and selfishness. I'm also just guessing here, but I don't think this is the first time she's been asked to put her life on hold for precious baby sister. If she doesn't stop it now, she never will. Be strong, OP. Just because you share DNA does not make these people good for you.
Load More Replies...But in that case, younger entitled sister wins.
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