Someone Asks People Who Got Married Without A Big Wedding If They Would Do Something Different And They Deliver 30 Honest Responses
InterviewWhile the vast majority of weddings had to be modified in some capacity due to COVID-19 (96%), the good news is that for nearly 93% of engaged couples, the pandemic didn’t cancel their wedding celebrations, showed a new study from The Knot. That means that amid all the chaos and uncertainty, most people still find a way to say I Do to each other.
But those who married before the global health crisis hit, when the world was free of restrictions, had a chance to have a wedding as lavish, extravagant, and huge as they wanted to. Some, however, chose a more minimalistic approach to their weddings and tied the knot in small, symbolic gatherings.
So now the people who didn’t opt for a big wedding share if they regretted their decision and what they’d do differently, if they could. Scroll down through their honest responses shared in this r/AskReddit thread, and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below!
This post may include affiliate links.
My husband and I eloped in our hometown. My sister was the witness and we had a pool party with our immediate families afterwards. We got take out and cupcakes and wine. It was a fantastic day and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Wife and I spent less than a thousand all in (her dress, the rings, dinner for the immediate family, favorite aunt married us on the beach for free at sunset) and bought a small house instead of having a large service and reception that neither of us wanted. Had a lot more fun doing that than attending any of my cousins (or siblings) fancy wedding extravaganzas that dumped them or their parents into a massive amount of debt.
Absolutely no regrets. You always have the option to do the party/celebration for your anniversary/vows renewal etc down the line. We never felt the need though. Spend your money on something else forget the pomp of a big wedding. It's a disgusting industry in my opinion. My pair of pennies anyway.
To find out what an expert has to say about planning small weddings and what are their upsides, Bored Panda reached out to Rhiann Janak, a professional wedding planner and CEO of Lucy Till French Weddings. First off, Rhiann assured us that a small wedding can still be as lavish as a big one.
She also said that more and more people are opting for small weddings these days. “A large portion of our weddings for next year are 60 guests or less. For 2023, the inquiries I am receiving are back up to the 100 pax guest list, but it's quite rare to hear of 150+ weddings among my clientele,” she said about this new trend.
I’ve had a big formal wedding and a small courthouse wedding. My personal opinion, the big wedding was a huge hassle. My parents took out loans to pay for it and they were in debt for a few years. There was a lot of pressure to do it all ‘right’ - fancy invitations, rehearsal dinner, expensive dress, catered meal, open bar, big cake, flowers everywhere (and my MIL got into a fight with the florist over the bill). It was exhausting and not fun.
My second wedding was at the courthouse with 2 friends and a couple family members then we had a cookout/bon fire party in our back yard. It was awesome. We spent $15 on some basic invitations that specified ‘no gifts, just come celebrate with us.’ My new MIL bought a random cake at Walmart that ended up being ammo for a food fight, we grilled steaks and chicken, provided a big cooler of beer and soda but most people brought their own beverages. No pressure. No stressing over centerpieces or wearing pinchy shoes. Was it trashy? YES. But it cost about $150 and everyone had a great time.
More importantly, I knew right away that the first marriage was a mistake but was ashamed to back out after everyone involved put so much into it. The second wedding was us being ourselves with our real friends and we are still happily together 13 years later.
My wife and I are so glad that we had a small wedding (cost us about $700 total) and it was perfect.
My brother's brother-in-law paid $30,000 for his own wedding and she left him in less than year (and they had been together a really long time before that). The only people who really benefit from large weddings are the people making money off of them. Keep it small.
Had ours at a BnB. Parents, Siblings, and grandparents...so like 10 total people. We had a 2 week honeymoon in Clearwater, good down payment on a home, and got 2 kittens immediately after.
No drama, no debt
Rhiann explained that the upsides of a small wedding are “having the budget to put towards the premium personalization of their wedding, or the extension of their wedding to include more activities for the guests, more days of celebration, and top-rate suppliers,” she said and added “What's not to love about that?”
One reason why people opt for smaller weddings may be that more and more couples are paying for their own weddings, hence the pressure to invite parents' friends is off, the wedding planner explained. “Some have been through a lot with covid, and haven't had much choice or have taken the opportunity to reduce their guest list for the more intimate wedding they had always dreamed of."
I think big weddings are a huge waste of money. My husband and I decided to get married on Thursday and got married on Saturday. Just immediate family and a couple of close friends. Never regretted it. Been married 41 years.
My ex wife and I got married in the back yard of Paul Walker's Uncles house. It was by far the biggest house I have ever seen. We had the music playing while she came down the isle, flower girl, best man, maid of honor, everything. Well she ended up cheating on me with her boss 6 years later and I heard from other people she had not been faithful for our entire marriage.
When I remarried we did it in the courthouse. We took pictures and went to dinner with her family. Yes, it was not as fancy, but we both agreed that we would put all our efforts into a beautiful honeymoon.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it does not matter or should not matter where you get married. What does matter is who you are getting married to.
We were kids (18 & 21) so we had no money to throw a big party even if we wanted to but we loved our wedding. We invited people that are still in our lives and got to spend quality time with every single one of them during the party. No drama, no drunk uncles, 5 years later everybody still laughs and reminisces.
Really no hate or judgement towards people who had/are having a bigger event. My brother had a big wedding and we had so much fun! Just stay true to yourselves - it's a day that you - and not cranky aunt Hilda - will remember for the rest of your lives!
When asked if her clients ever regret not having a bigger and more lavish wedding, Rhiann said: “never say never, but my clients who've eloped or spent incredible weekends celebrating their love with their nearest and dearest have always come back to say they wouldn't have wanted it any other way.”
“I would say the thing couples worry most about prior to a short-list wedding is having the ambiance for the dance party. I say, let's make a cozy and dreamy setting for your guests to completely relax in and book premium entertainment to make a party no one can resist,” the wedding planner said. “Believe me, dance parties always consist of that one core group of non-stop dancing friends anyway!” Rhiann concluded.
Waited over a decade to get married. Covid let us get married over zoom without dealing with the messy logistics of an in person wedding. Also a lot cheaper. Covid is a great excuse for people that want small or non existent reception.
I've been with my wife for 21 years and we've been married 14. We had a Courthouse wedding with her mom and my dad. After the ceremony we went to lunch at my wife's favorite restaurant and then went back home to our apartment. All together the whole thing cost maybe $200 with license and judge. And nobody in either family (she's an immigrant so her family here is fairly small) really cared. I hadn't really seen any of my extended family in years prior so I really had no idea how to contact them about a wedding anyway.
After all this time together me and the wife never once regretted not going through the hassle and expense of a big wedding. We both see it sort of pointless but not necessarily bad. If someone wants a big wedding then good for them. If someone doesn't the same sentiment exists: good for them.
Married at City Hall with immediate family on both sides only, lovely dinner with same bunch that my dad paid for. Our 35th anniversary is in a month and we're still in love as much now as then. It's your day so do what makes you happy, prioritize and go with it!
My husband and I eloped in Scotland and then spent a week in the highlands for our honeymoon. It was probably the happiest week of my life. Our only witnesses were our photographer and her partner.
My wife and I went on a trip and got married at a resort destination just me and her. We both didn't want the huge formality of a wedding day and the cost as well. Not to say we didn't have gatherings. We had a big party at our place prior to the trip.
Then we hired out a few tables and a side room at a fav local restaurant and had a big dinner with my extended family. Finally as part of the trip we went back to visit her family and relatives overseas and had a similar dinner/gathering. We did a rough calculation and the cost of a big wedding was more expensive as the big trip and the x3 dinners.
Ppl from both sides of the family seemed happy as they didn't have to spend a whole evening at a reception and/or attend an afternoon ceremony. A lot of our friends seemed happy either way, appreciated the casual party at our place and didn't feel the need to get all dressed up. Also the trip was basically our honeymoon.
I had a big wedding a few years ago and did not enjoy it. My brother in law, on the other hand, had a small wedding due to covid and it was so calm and beautiful. Looking back I wish I would've had a smaller one.
Not what you asked but, I wanted a small wedding. Just immediate family and a couple friends at my parents' home with a BBQ and water fun after. My mother insisted on the big deal. I hated it. The day was a torture for me. I regret giving in every time I think about it. The only part I am glad for is that I got married. I don't have any wonderful memories of the day itself. I let my daughter have my wedding dress for a costume. It brought me more joy at Halloween than it did on my wedding day.
We paid about 2 grand total for our wedding, we married in a tiny little registry office which was nice and clean and the lady who married us was lovely, it wasn't a big venue but it was big enough for our close family and friends. We rented the suits and that was the most expensive item, we got the bridesmaids dresses online for cheap, they all looked really nice and my wife looked lovely, her dress was second hand from eBay.
We found a bus museum and hired an old London bus for an hour to drive the people from the wedding to the party. We didn't have a reception and a sit down meal, instead we booked a local club that had a nice big room, we got a family friend to do a buffet for all the guests.
It was a really great day, the wedding was nice, my wife was happy, lots of our friends and family attended, there was plenty of food and the drinks were cheap at the bar in the club we picked, I couldn't have been happier with how it turned out.
“The Perfect Wedding” is different for everyone. That’s what’s great about the two of you being able to choose for yourselves. Parents, butt out of your kid’s wedding. A lack of pretentious isn’t a bad thing—-that’s why they say an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure. Just be happy they found someone really wonderful, and they’re both smart enough to know that the marriage is a zillion times more important than the wedding. If you’re just itching to get out the checkbook, then write them a check large enough to put a down payment on a house. Or a houseful of furniture. Or a kick-ass honeymoon. Or some solid investments in both their names.
Small wedding is great. Got married with about 40 people. All close family and friends. We went to a wedding two months before with 150 people. Terrible. Way too big overblown and crazy expensive. A small wedding is great, and the day after you’re still just as married as you would have been if you spent thousands more.
Let me give you the other side... me and wifey wanted to get a simple marriage ceremony. Either of us didnt have much money saved.
Our families overrode that..what happened was a 5 day fiesta that fed and entertained about 800 of our combined extended family, post which we didnt have anything left, my sisters put in more money than i would have earned in an year, her father had to take a loan for their side.
So the toll of this 5 day extravaganza was about 3 years worth of salary.
Till this day i wish we could have used a fraction of that money (literally 10%), it would have gone a long way in helping us settle.
Specially as that was just before Covid 19 f**ked the economy
This question really interests me because me and my fiancé are getting married next February and we've actually gone from "big party" to "small gathering of intimate people" since we first started planning it. Mostly because neither of us is exactly "social". He's an introvert and the idea of a big party with people who we rarely see slowly became nauseating to us. I mean.
The wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love with the people who actually know and cherish the couple. Not a "show off" event. I come from a deeply traditional family with big weddings and this has been a topic of "discussion" lately. So knowing how you guys feel after is actually helping. Thank you! :) Edited to correct spelling
I am engaged currently and have no desire for a big wedding. I've never had the visions as a little girl what my wedding day would look like. I've always cringed when I hear how much ppl spend on weddings. To each their own. I personally spending that kinda money when I have life goals just doesn't seem logical. I also have narcolepsy type 2 and I honestly don't think I'd survive my day. I'd need to take breaks for naps and that just doesn't seem like it would work out well for me. We will be eloping. Im down to the point of it being a random day. I like the idea of not planning a specific day but making it spontaneous like.... We do have 2 places we want to marry. Horseshoe bend in grand canyon or temple in the sky AZ. But elope style. I have no desire to put on a show for others.
We had a small wedding. I was newly pregnant & didn't want to wait or be huge, so we planned our wedding in a week. Wore my senior prom dress (white satin gown w/ short chiffon train), got flowers on a Fri (they're cheaper to make room for new shipments on Mon), cake was donated, had bagels, donuts & orange juice b/c we got married at 10am. Breakfast weddings are the BEST b/c they're sooo cheap & then you get the rest of the day to yourselves! By noon, everyone was out of our house & we just spent the day together. Went to the movies & that was actually our 1st movie date as well as getting hitched! LOL About to celebrate 18 yrs married & 4 kids.
We got married in my parents' beautiful but small backyard. My dad, who had gotten his licenste online, married us; there were 13 people there including my husband and me. My mom bought some muffins, made orange juice, popped open a bottle of champagne, we visited for about an hour, and then the two of us drove to Taos, New Mexico for a short honeymoon. Celebrated our 10th anniversary in July. No regrets.
The idea of a big wedding is my literal idea of hell. I am an introvert and planning a big wedding would really damage my mental health, let alone having to spend the day pretending that I am not extremely uncomfortable and wasting a ton of money. We had originally planned to have a very small “suprise” wedding at the 4th of July party we have every year in 2020- everyone shows up, brings their side dish or whatever, music plays, we get married and we get back to the party with our closest friends and family (who unknowingly catered our wedding). Obviously, that didn’t happen (Covid), so we just decided to take advantage of the extremely simple common law standards in our state and got “married” by checking a box on our mortgage refinance. (literally the only criteria are having a joint bank account, living together and representing yourself as a married couple). Absolutely no regrets.
my husband and i got married on Halloween...i wore an orange and white dress ,which i borrowed, and he in a suit.an old justice of the peace and in total 15 friends and family....we probably spent less than $100 bux! ...10-31-69, will be 52 yrs this Halloween and we still love each other to pieces! ( by the way, Halloween is a great day to get married on, lots of excuses to dress up!)
I eloped abroad with only two witnesses (one who married us and his girlfriend) we had a fantastic time walking around a new city, exchanged vows in the park and were already at our honeymoon destination.
Had a fantastic week, saved a ton, had a reception thrown by parents. No stress, no overwhelming attention, just a sharing of vows by two people which we felt was what was necessary. Hit ten years a week ago.
Congratulations on the 10 year mark. Hope you enjoy many, many more.
We got married 6 years ago. We had a smallish outdoor wedding. It was absolutely the better choice, and my husband and I will always feel this way. The only thing we regret is inviting the judgemental family members who made snide comments about the secular and non-traditional nature of our wedding.
It's not even about the money. It's the time, energy, aggravation, and general PITA of organizing a wedding. Her family lives here on an island in the Atlantic, my family is far away, what time of year are we going to do this, what venue, who likes eating what, can't do it on that day cause Aunt F**k Face is busy, can't have it here because Uncle Dirt Bag doesn't like to travel, what will you mom thing if he doesn't show, who gets to sit here, did you find someone to make a cake, what about all those looser relatives that you only met once in your life, what kind of religious bull do you want.
Blah blah blah blah, all stuff I don't give a [damn] about. I've got better things to do with my time than to show off, be nice to, impress, and worry about others. $75 and married with two witness in front of a Justice of the Peace. To be fair to everyone no one was allowed to attend.
What did we do with all the money we saved? Well, we travelled to some interesting countries, down payment on a house, and I didn't have to sell my nice car. After telling people of what they did they usually say, 'that makes total sense, I wish I had done that'. 0 regrets. But maybe I am jaded in life.
I worked with a girl who wanted, and had, a big, pretentious wedding. Even invited her bosses. She never socialized with her bosses, so it was 100% a political move. Last I heard, she was still in the same position, so I’m guessing the bosses saw right through her attempt to brown nose them.
As a consistent guest to weddings, I can happily say that the best and most memorable weddings for me are the smaller affairs. While I get the reasoning behind larger weddings, they seem to be more narcissistic affairs that either pay little heed to the celebration that involves the union of two people, or are affairs that have been pressured by other, narcissistic, members of the family.
Smaller affairs on the other hand, celebrate the family and friends you have chosen. "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" if you will. I have always felt happier, and in response more loved, when invited to a smaller wedding. Plus the parties (and food) tend to be better due to the lack of gravitational entropic personalities!
Me and the wife eloped to Gretna, just the two of us on a two day stay, came home and arranged the party two weeks later. Unfortunately it was the day before the first lockdown and only 45 folk turned up, we had a ball.
I love how many people still elope to Gretna Green, as people have for centuries. I mean, it’s a place that’s mentioned as part of the plot in so many classic novels and plays. Incredibly cool.
I think my husband and I had around 15 people at our ceremony, afterwards we got to have a NICE sit down 3 course meal with everyone in a private dining room of a fancy hotel. THAT was beautiful, and it was just. everything we needed. THEN we came home and had a reception and it was the biggest waste of $ and time. I wish we had saved the money and just had another intimate sit down catered dinner with family and CLOSE friends.
None of this "acquaintanced" "Friend of a friend" etc. Granted everyone else said the reception was "so much fun", but both SO and I wanted to leave before it even started. OR I wish we had just saved the money from that and gone on a hot vacation, just the two of us.
While the cotton boll bouquet is…interesting, I can’t say I’m very comfortable with the connotations it carries.
My wife and I got married in the town we lived in when while she was in school. We didn't have much money and did everything for less than $5k. Because of the distance only a handful of people from her family came and it was mostly my parents, siblings, and extended family. If we were to do it again I'd either have it closer to home so more of her family could have attended or just invited fewer people overall.
The budget was fine, though we could have spent a little less and been perfectly happy. Honestly the whole day was a blur and I wouldn't have even noticed if half of my extended family who was there hadn't attended. Some out of town friends wanted to go out for drinks afterward but we were so tired we just went home and fell asleep around 10pm.
At my wedding there were about 80 guests, 20 of which were our friends. The reception was at a posh restaurant. Only immediate family at the church. We were greeting the arrivals when one couple said "Oh, is the restaurant booked for tonight?" We didn't know most of the other guests, invited by my in-laws because they had been to the weddings of their children. Bit of a farce really.
Not my experience, but some good friends had a small wedding then had a huge 25th wedding anniversary party. I was at the latter, not the former (didn't know them then). Small suited them 30 years ago; big suited them 5 years ago. If you're worried you'll regret not doing something bigger for your wedding, know that that isn't your last opportunity to have a big party celebrating your relationship.
This summer I went to a couple of medium-sized "first anniversary parties" for couples who had had very small weddings during the first summer of COVID.
Nothing says you can’t renew your vows and have your big wedding a decade or so later—-when you can afford it, as opposed to starting out deep in debt.
We spent our days with our loved ones. Immediate family for the wedding. Small parties of family/friends in our respective home cities to minimize travel for people, and we honestly got to see more people who we wanted to spend quality time with in a more intimate sense.
Then, we spent our money for ourselves. Took a trip and stayed in a cabin in the mountains of Tennessee. Then went to Thailand and China and had a wonderful trip. We got married for us, and had our celebrations for us. The wedding industry is such a predatory and money pit of an industry.
No disrespect for people who do it for work, but when you get married it should be about how you all want to celebrate your love and lives together. If it's a big wedding, have the best big wedding and the best day. That wasn't us and we don't regret our choices one bit.
I was never one of those little girls who planned my fantasy wedding, drooled over Brides magazine, and begged to get every Barbie wedding dress for Christmas. I was the little girl who read books and saw movies where couples eloped, and liked the privacy in that. When I worked hotel front desks in my twenties, I saw how intrusive drunk friends and family can be once the bride and groom leave the reception and go up to the bridal suite. Can’t tell you how many times they tried to get the room number out of me. Of course I didn’t tell them. At one place I worked, I put the kibosh on any disclosed plans to knock on doors until they found the couple by warning them that hotel security is staffed with off-duty police, and that it would not end well for them. When we got married, my husband and I kept it very low key and private. No one bothered us on our honeymoon, because they had no idea where we were. Loved it.
I was on a scuba diving trip with a group. We came back on the boat after a dive to see an “invitation” written on the whiteboard to a wedding that afternoon. The maid-of-honour was picked because she happened to have packed a dress, the best “man” was the groom’s (female) dive buddy (“if I can depend on you underwater, I can depend on you at my wedding”). I wore my best Hawaiian shirt, others were in t-shirt and shorts. The venue was a shaded area on the beach, the aisle was outlined in seashells. Beautiful ceremony and a fun beach party afterwards. Then more diving the next day.
People should have whatever kind of wedding they want. I've been to small weddings that were awesome...same with big ones. We had a big one because we were bringing together two families and two cultures and most of the people we invited hadn't seen each other in over 10 years. We wanted a big party and we had one and it was a blast.
Same! I get why people rag on big weddings but honestly we knew we wanted a big party reception because our families are but and we hadn’t seen a lot of them in a while! We cut a lot of costs (got labor and supplies from family/friends, DIY a lot of things) so it wasn’t too expensive, and we really did have fun. And it was right before COVID hit so that 2 years later, people still say it’s the most fun wedding ever. We’re also still very much in love and stronger from COVID times actually so maybe we’re just weird :)
Load More Replies...Got married with no wedding party at all. Just documents. My husband and I were both broke, fresh out of university, he only started earning money with a startup, and I needed the visa urgently. It wasn't only a matter of stay, but also the rights to employment. (For context, we've been living together and in a serious commited relationship long years before the marriage)
My soon-to-be wife had a barbecue each year for friends and family. So we decided to turn the event into a surprise wedding. One of our friends is a judge. He and his wife were the only ones who knew the plan since he would be officiating. It was a fun, no-stress affair for the guests and us. Everyone was well-fed and well-alcoholed.
On 'Australlia's Cheapest Weddings', there was a couple: Woman was a pinup model from Iceland, gorgeous and tall, dude was a construction worker from Australlia. Their wedding: licensing at city hall, community organized reception afterwards. The lady cried when she thanked everyone for her wedding saying they were the kindest, most open hearted people she'd ever met. Sweetest wedding I've ever seen tbh. Never EVER seen a sweeter one.
my husband an i got married by accident. we went to the courthouse and asked what did we need to do to get married, they had us fill out some forms, we paid a fee, and they said the judge would see us next. i said, oh we're getting married today? and that's how we got married. no rings, no camera, no one we knew was there. i had to go to work afterward. the only thing i wish i could change would be that our immediate family would have been there. i have 2 siblings, both married, and they didn't have weddings either.
I'm conflicted we had a large wedding about 130 people but that was mostly immediate family as my husbands father had 7 brothers and sisters with multiple kids and we ended up with loads of photos that can never be replaced due to losing a lot of the older members of our family in the few years after So the money we spent while a lot wasn't the point of it was the people
I had a small wedding. Immigration issues meant most of my spouse-to-be's family couldn't come, so I didn't invite most of my mine either so it wouldn't be unbalanced. We planned to have another "wedding" on our fifth anniversary. Then COVID hit. And life in general. I'd still like to have a large party with all of both of our families, but it doesn't look like it'll be anytime in the near future. I'm still glad we didn't wait to get married. Hopefully, someday, we'll have a larger celebration.
Too many people care more about the wedding than the marriage. Even one of my brothers said it was worth getting married just for the honeymoon trip her parents were paying for. It didn't last long.
Got married in the park by our town's mayor (just a small donation). I wore a white gauze sundress that I bought at a flea market for $10, did my own flowers and wore flip flops. The "reception" was lunch at a diner. Since we already lived together and had our household in order, in lieu of gifts, we just asked they paid for their own lunch. The cake was made by my husband's restaurant (a tres leches cake) where he was interning. A year later we bought a house. NO REGRETS!
Was pressured to have a big church wedding by my family because it would make my grandparents happy. We're both atheists, both hate big events and dressing up, etc. didn't seem to matter to family. i was even told "i know you don't believe, but you just get up there and say the words. it doesn't mean anything and it'll make your family happy." No, was not going to go into their god's house and lie when i was supposed to be pledging to live my life with my partner. Ended up with a small wedding in a friend's back yard, nice dinner out for everyone afterwards, and everyone, even my grandparents, had a good time.
When I married my ex wife, we had a small wedding (only 15 people, my mom and some friends; siblings did not come), knee length silk dress from Talbots, dinner in a Provincetown restaurant. Glad it wasn't the big circus because she became a cheatin', lyin', mean woman and left me 5 years later. Did get the dogs in the divorce, so that was a win in the end.
So glad you got the dogs!!! You are well shot of her.
Load More Replies...My closest friend recently sent me a message on WhatsApp saying she and her partner had just got married, and they wanted to share their good news with me (she'd never even said they were planning to marry, theyve been together over 20 years). Am I miffed that I didn't get invited? Absolutely not! I'm glad they had the tiny wedding they wanted (just them and their kids). And I don't have to keep poring over her photos or going on about how lovely the flowers were or how exquisite the beading on her shoes was, etc etc. I'd do just what she did! Small, cheap, and closest family only. Its the marriage/relationship which matters, not the wedding day itself.
We had our wedding at a rose garden and I even had a flannel over my dress and we wore converse. No foot pain. No discomfort. Perfect wedding and I made my own wedding dress for 10 dollars ! Haha 😄
Hubs and I decided on a laid back, no pressure wedding. Invite was emailed out. No gifts. No reception. Some family came out, mostly our friends and my co-workers attended the ceremony. We booked the church for an extra hour so we could mingle. Had a flat of water on hand if needed (left with 1/2 of it). Photographer is a friend and gifted our photos and his time. We did pay for a videographer though so we could post the ceremony online and let others who didn't attend watch it. I got my $50 dress on eBay. Our parents and grandparents came from out of town and we took them out for a fancy thank you dinner. The only thing I would have done differently is gotten a dress style closer to my "dream" dress. Other than that - it was an absolutely perfect day (it even rained for most of it).
My wife and I agreed right from the start we wanted a simple wedding. We'd rather not start our married life in debt. Pretty soon, it became a game to us: how cheap were we willing to be? We got married at this beautiful little chapel on our university campus (I think it cost us $25 to rent for the day). We got married by a Justice of the Peace (another $25 back then, I think). Our friends held the reception at their house, and everybody brought food. I wore a suit I owned, and my wife wore a dress she owned. My sister hit "play" on the cd player. We couldn't find wedding announcements we liked, so we bought these super-cheap 50th wedding anniversary announcements, and dated them 50 years in the future. We paid something like a hundred dollars for the rings, but they were nice rings (and we stopped wearing them ages ago anyway). We didn't have a honeymoon. We said "Life is our honeymoon". We've been married now nearly 30 years, and she's still my best friend.
I am 43 and my husband is 44 and due to Covid my husband and I got married via Zoom and the county charged us $75 . I did buy a dress ($90 marked down to $45) and we had dinner after at a pub up the street ($55). Total cost = $220. We do plan to have a ceremony in Vegas next year on our 1 year anniversary but for $220 we did pretty good. You don't need much to be married!
I was married in June of 1976. Spent $1000.00. Bought a house with what I saved! It was a no brainer. Loved my small wedding with people Thai I loved and that loved me. After all these years I still remember conversations.
Personally I think the more time and money goes into a wedding the more the marriage part becomes forgotten - it's a huge build up to one day and every day after that is going to be boring and disappointing given the build up. I've done the big wedding and the marriage was a disaster. My second wedding was just us, our kids and both our mums as my dad had died the year before and I couldn't imagine a big party without him. Worked out perfect for us
Most big weddings I attendet didnt last very long. Dometimes Not Even the Wedding pictures arrived. We didnt spend much, bc we didnt want to! 21 years later we are still together. Even the honeymoon is still to come.
My Joe and I married 6 months after we met. We had a private ceremony, crashed by 10 of his friends, at the courthouse. We went home to our newly rented apartment to find more of his friends cooking lasagna. Best time ever! That was May 5, 1975.
My first wedding was small & intimate in a lovely chapel in Leavenworth, WA. We spent very little. We both knew it probably wouldn't last, but I was pregnant & we wanted to seal her legitimacy. Second wedding was a big affair with the "poufy" dress & veil, flowers everywhere, nice buffet dinner & VERY expensive cake. It lasted less than a year. On October 25th my "boyfriend" and I are getting married after 14 years together - At the courthouse, with my stepmother in attendance. No fuss, no muss, no ridiculous debt. The only expenses are the court fees, his new black pants, my new shoes and a new black camisole for a shirt I bought on vacation in August, but have never worn. Buy a new car, put a down payment on a house - don't waste it on a 7 hour party!
Ours was small, we both had small families, mostly older people or younger cousins (I was the oldest girl in the family and first married). Got married in the beautiful church I was raised in by a man I respected, had a fun reception for which I have many photos, thankfully, as most of the people are gone now. Nice weekend drive for the honeymoon though with sinus infections and food poisoning, lol. Turns out my stomach won't handle lobster very well. We were married 39 years, four kids and a couple of grandkids. 10 out of 10 would do it again.
Got married at Zion National Park! Permission from the Parks Dept, 2 cars of friends, dinner at a diner! A fun time was had by all. Didn't want gifts, just friends. 13 years later we're still going strong!
I used to wedding receptions at my church. The small family and close friends were the nicest. The large ones the couple and parents do not really get to visit with the hundred or so people. A lot of the big weddings is to impress the parents friends and business associates. Most of the invitees are the parents friends and not friends of the couple.
Got married on a Tuesday after 5PM, on the beach in Alaska where we met, by a South Korean missionary who was a friend of both our families, under a tarp since it was raining. Don't regret a thing. Everything was terrible and awesome and I wouldn't have had it any other way. No regrets! I have amazing stories of the tragedy and joy of that day. I can NEVER forget a single thing.
14 years and counting of having a Civil Partnership, Hubby and I plus 2 friends as witnesses, casual clothing, take-away afterwards. No gifts wanted, no honeymoon.Totally no bothered about it being a very small event as to us the event of showing our commitment to one another was the important thing.
My husband and I couldn't afford a big wedding. Nor did we want one actually. So we got married at a graveyard on Halloween in New Orleans. Had a 20 min. Ceremony and invited strangers who wanted to wear costumes and come he witnesses since our family couldn't be there. We then took everyone who showed up to the quarter for coffee and beignets and paid for it as a thank you. Obviously. Lol. We wanted the most New Orleans wedding ever which it turned out to be and I was so happy that so many people showed up in costume. We didn't expect anything from anyone and ppl were grateful to be included. It was just a bunch of ppl grateful to be apart of something fun and I couldn't ask for a better wedding. The only thing I'd change is flying my family down. My husbands a truck driver n I wanted to be married on Halloween n we also wanted a tax break. Lol. Which is why we did it quickly. We planned to have another small wedding after we bought our house. Then Covid happened. But it cost us $500
We had a tiny 31 person $6200 wedding. That includes everything! We had it at a 5 star historic inn in NY and it was so simple and so elegant and could not have been more perfect. We were older and not the types for big over the top weddings even if we'd been young. We just wanted a beautiful night with each other and our loved ones.
We spent around five thousand in the late nineties. This was for everything. Invitations, dress, cake, photographer, hall, food (wings, etc), alcohol & bartenders, etc. It wasn't exactly a small wedding, though we kept the service to family and friends. Reception was open door, open bar. Plus a barbecue the next day. children were welcome. We made it clear to everyone that everything was casual. The only ones who dressed up had another wedding to attend after ours and came back to our reception. It was an amazing day.
Got married in The Gambia (my late husband is from there). Basically we got married only to get paperwork for a visa for him to come to my country, so did not want to invest too much in it. Never cared much for weddings. My own family wasn't even there. The main single cost was bribing the officials at the Ministry of Justice to get a wedding date confirmed, that cost about 200 euro (long story). For the wedding itself we spent about 300 euro which was spent on our our traditional costumes, small sound system and food, drinks and smoke for those present. We invited 8 people to come and have lunch at our compound, ended up with about 150 people (it turned into an outdoor/ block party). Good thing the neighbors offered to cook some BIG pots of food! They did refuse any payment afterwards. Well in those days The Gambia was really cheap, you could buy a bottle of Coke for 10 cents.
my spouse and i had a backyard wedding. no more than $2k including outfits, catering from a favorite local restaurant, amazing dessert spreads from a local bakery, and the mead. spouse's friend married us, and we made so many amazing memories. we see friends who get big weddings and go "we had the perfect wedding :)" 100/10 would do again
The only people I told we were getting married was my mum and sister. Even my sons didn't know why they were being asked to dress up. I had a £20 sale dress from New Look and my "bouquet" was a lily from the plant where I buried my miscarried babas, so they could be with us. The rings were cheap relatively speaking (£100 each as I know I'm terrible at losing things) we had the smallest option at the registry office (4 guests only) then a garden party at my mums with just closest friends and family before heading off to Glastonbury festival for our honeymoon. Spent our first night together in the car before joining the queue to get in at 4am. Put up the tent, walked to the loo and when I got back realised I'd lost my ring somewhere in the pyramid arena lol. I reported it to lost and found and did actually get it back (albeit scuffed up) a few weeks later, thanks to their meticulous cleaning up staff. It suited us down to the ground and we have no regrets.
I accidentally made a profit on my wedding. I made my dress, my bridesmaid made hers, and husband wore his best suit. The church where we were members didn't charge us anything and neither did the friends who played organ and sang (although we slipped them something). Another friend recorded everything, two photographed and another catered the reception as a present (40 people). Friends and family from far away sent money instead of coming and - oops - I took in more than I spent.
We got married 50 years ago at 18 and 21. After the ceremony we had dinner in a hotel with both our parents and my husbands 8 sisters and brothers and their spouses and my 5 sisters and brothers and their spouses. Paid with my savings. We had to go home early because I was due at my first day at work the next day at 8 am. Never regretted it! Still happily married!
If people want to have a big, fancy wedding, go for it! But plan ahead, budget, and pay for everything yourself.
Or, if you’re not religious, just don’t get married at all. Love (along with trust and dedication) doesn’t require a legal contract, nor the deterrent/threat of divorce.
My wedding dress was a $50 sun dress. My uncle was the minister that married my husband and I. We had it done by the beach (Grand Traverse Bay, Lake Michigan) where we lived, free space. Only our parents attended along with my aunt and uncle. Ate at a nice restaurant and watched the 4th of July fireworks later that night. Really simple and I'll never forget how special and personal it was. It's been 10 years.
I don't have a partner but I've been planning our funky wedding for years. I want to make crop circles in my aunt's field that has a river winding around it. Each circle with have a different event or yard game. At the center will be a hay wagon. It will be the backdrop for the wedding and the stage for dancing. The seats will be bales of hay with blankets thrown over. At dinner we'll set up folding tables between the seats. It will be a "no gift" wedding, your ticket in the door is your favorite dish to add to the potluck. Meaning anybody who wants to come can. I'm going to wear a knee length dress to ride on the back of a tractor driven by my dad to the runway. I'll hop down duck behind a bush and pull on a fluffy over skirt that I made. I'll pop out and walk down the runway by myself. I don't need any man to give me away. After wards we'll go swimming and dancing and play lots of games :) now I just need a best friend partner where we want to grow old together.
We had a fairly small wedding, less than 50 friends and family. We got a keg of beer, a case of champagne and had a BBQ. It was so much fun and everybody had a blast. Thing is, it was all still a blur. I couldn't imaging paying out thousands of dollars for a day you'll barely remember.
I'm glad I didn't have the big wedding. The day my husband and I were supposed to get married was the same day my sister found out that her boyfriend had passed from a grand mal seizure. Had we gone with a huge wedding, I think it would have been horrible to put my sister through that. Our wedding day was easily shifted to a Thursday and she agreed to be a witness. She said being a part of that made her feel like everything would be ok. It was only her, my aunt, my husband's best friend and us along with the preacher. Nice, small and appropriate for what we wanted.
I think having a small wedding is great, and hats off to those who signed their papers with little ceremony and are happy, but I enjoyed putting on a big day. We had 70 guests at a beautiful venue, sun was out, drinks were flowing, and I'm glad we spent the money (around £7,000). Key is to spend only what you can afford (people spending £30k+ WTF...), and stay true to what makes you happy as a couple.
Relatively speaking I would say you still had a smallish wedding regarding number of guests and the costs, to be honest. We spent €7000 and had 30 guests. I still think that's a lot less than the average wedding costs. But as you say, it's about what you can afford.
Load More Replies...My first marriage, we had a large event with around 125 people with a big expensive reception. I was exhausted and it was impossible to greet everyone. I had fun but it was just too much. The marriage lasted 19 years. After 12 years together, my current husband and I had a small service in Reno with just a few people last month. It was less pressure and we could better focus on each other. Tomorrow we're having a reception with around 50 people, a backyard BBQ. It's still a lot of work but it'll be a more intimate setting and I will be less stressed.
The nice thing about the first wedding is that we got lots of pictures and video of so many relatives who are no longer with us now. It was a really happy day for my parents. This time, my 87 yr old mother walked me down the aisle, since Dad is gone. I'm glad we did it while she was still with us.
Load More Replies...My ex husband and I got married in Scotland just the two of us, the magistrate, and my friend was the photographer and witness, the other witness somebody he knew. Neither of us had any family members present because they lived in South Africa. My husband and I were together for 13 years and my in-laws never met my parents during their time (I think everyone dodged a bullet there) if I ever do get married again and that is a big IF, I want a simple handfasting ceremony just myself and my partner and a witness which will be renewed every one year and a day. The thought of making a lifetime commitment to another person is very daunting; my partner has been married twice before so neither of us are keen on the whole traditional marriage. We are already fully committed in our hearts and at the end of the day that's all that really matters.
What happened to the father of the bride paying for the wedding? Come on Boomers, that was your thing, step up and show us that money we're all supposed to have.
My wife and I got married on the firing deck of Castillo de San Marcos in St. Augustine, FL. There were four people in the wedding (her parents and mine). You aren't allowed to do that, so we waited until they had a tour group on the ground level.
Never had a wedding and I kind of want one. Got married because I needed the student loan money and my husband agreed to marry me as long as I never told anyone. Went to the court house, I cried and vomited, told him I was so sorry and I would make it up to him. That was 10 years ago. We talked about having a wedding here and there but the cost never seemed worth it. My proposal was amazing though. He proposed to me about 4 years into our marriage at a masquerade ball in a mansion on New Years Eve right when the clock struck 12 on this enormous stair case. Honestly, being proposed to 4 years into my marriage was worth a million and one weddings. Thought about a wedding for our 10 year anniversary but we partied our brains out on a boat instead. Perhaps the 20th anniversary will be the time.
Went to the judge. Had our parents there, and two witnesses, and that was it. Then went to lunch. Less than $1K in today's money, about $300 in then-money. Very much a low-key no-fuss thing, then got on with our lives. :-)
Think I might send this to my daughter, so far she has come up with a guest list of 200 people (I don't even know 200 people) I just can't see how in one day she would be able to speak to everyone.
She and her partner will certainly not love or probably even like 200 people. You really don't get to talk to everyone. People worry so much more about things going wrong with big weddings. It is stressful and very outwardly focused - usually more about what people think than the love and commitment being shared. Obviously it is their day but you can't help but question why it matters so much to put on a massive do. Hope she is happy, though, whatever she and her future spouse decide.
Load More Replies...We didn't want to spend thousands on a wedding so we got married at the registry office, had a nice meal and drinks at a local restaurant afterwards and then went to my mum and dad's for a bit of a party afterwards. My dress, which was just what I was looking for, cost £50, my hairdresser who I've known for years did mine and my mum's hair for free. We didn't have a photographer so as a surprise my hairdresser came and took photos of us when we came out of the registry office and they're beautiful photos! Don't regret a thing, whole thing cost us a couple of grand.
I'm sure this opinion is not popular, but everyone knows there is only one reason people have big weddings: that's what the woman wanted. If weddings were up to men, they would all take place in a courtroom with a couple witnesses, or even smaller if possible.
Not quite-my husband actually wanted a bigger wedding than we had (around 175) because he had a lot of family and so do I. I’m the one who cut the guest list, and initially I was the one who said we could just run off and elope in the mountains of our parents didn’t approve (fortunately they did though).
Load More Replies...I was on a scuba diving trip with a group. We came back on the boat after a dive to see an “invitation” written on the whiteboard to a wedding that afternoon. The maid-of-honour was picked because she happened to have packed a dress, the best “man” was the groom’s (female) dive buddy (“if I can depend on you underwater, I can depend on you at my wedding”). I wore my best Hawaiian shirt, others were in t-shirt and shorts. The venue was a shaded area on the beach, the aisle was outlined in seashells. Beautiful ceremony and a fun beach party afterwards. Then more diving the next day.
People should have whatever kind of wedding they want. I've been to small weddings that were awesome...same with big ones. We had a big one because we were bringing together two families and two cultures and most of the people we invited hadn't seen each other in over 10 years. We wanted a big party and we had one and it was a blast.
Same! I get why people rag on big weddings but honestly we knew we wanted a big party reception because our families are but and we hadn’t seen a lot of them in a while! We cut a lot of costs (got labor and supplies from family/friends, DIY a lot of things) so it wasn’t too expensive, and we really did have fun. And it was right before COVID hit so that 2 years later, people still say it’s the most fun wedding ever. We’re also still very much in love and stronger from COVID times actually so maybe we’re just weird :)
Load More Replies...Got married with no wedding party at all. Just documents. My husband and I were both broke, fresh out of university, he only started earning money with a startup, and I needed the visa urgently. It wasn't only a matter of stay, but also the rights to employment. (For context, we've been living together and in a serious commited relationship long years before the marriage)
My soon-to-be wife had a barbecue each year for friends and family. So we decided to turn the event into a surprise wedding. One of our friends is a judge. He and his wife were the only ones who knew the plan since he would be officiating. It was a fun, no-stress affair for the guests and us. Everyone was well-fed and well-alcoholed.
On 'Australlia's Cheapest Weddings', there was a couple: Woman was a pinup model from Iceland, gorgeous and tall, dude was a construction worker from Australlia. Their wedding: licensing at city hall, community organized reception afterwards. The lady cried when she thanked everyone for her wedding saying they were the kindest, most open hearted people she'd ever met. Sweetest wedding I've ever seen tbh. Never EVER seen a sweeter one.
my husband an i got married by accident. we went to the courthouse and asked what did we need to do to get married, they had us fill out some forms, we paid a fee, and they said the judge would see us next. i said, oh we're getting married today? and that's how we got married. no rings, no camera, no one we knew was there. i had to go to work afterward. the only thing i wish i could change would be that our immediate family would have been there. i have 2 siblings, both married, and they didn't have weddings either.
I'm conflicted we had a large wedding about 130 people but that was mostly immediate family as my husbands father had 7 brothers and sisters with multiple kids and we ended up with loads of photos that can never be replaced due to losing a lot of the older members of our family in the few years after So the money we spent while a lot wasn't the point of it was the people
I had a small wedding. Immigration issues meant most of my spouse-to-be's family couldn't come, so I didn't invite most of my mine either so it wouldn't be unbalanced. We planned to have another "wedding" on our fifth anniversary. Then COVID hit. And life in general. I'd still like to have a large party with all of both of our families, but it doesn't look like it'll be anytime in the near future. I'm still glad we didn't wait to get married. Hopefully, someday, we'll have a larger celebration.
Too many people care more about the wedding than the marriage. Even one of my brothers said it was worth getting married just for the honeymoon trip her parents were paying for. It didn't last long.
Got married in the park by our town's mayor (just a small donation). I wore a white gauze sundress that I bought at a flea market for $10, did my own flowers and wore flip flops. The "reception" was lunch at a diner. Since we already lived together and had our household in order, in lieu of gifts, we just asked they paid for their own lunch. The cake was made by my husband's restaurant (a tres leches cake) where he was interning. A year later we bought a house. NO REGRETS!
Was pressured to have a big church wedding by my family because it would make my grandparents happy. We're both atheists, both hate big events and dressing up, etc. didn't seem to matter to family. i was even told "i know you don't believe, but you just get up there and say the words. it doesn't mean anything and it'll make your family happy." No, was not going to go into their god's house and lie when i was supposed to be pledging to live my life with my partner. Ended up with a small wedding in a friend's back yard, nice dinner out for everyone afterwards, and everyone, even my grandparents, had a good time.
When I married my ex wife, we had a small wedding (only 15 people, my mom and some friends; siblings did not come), knee length silk dress from Talbots, dinner in a Provincetown restaurant. Glad it wasn't the big circus because she became a cheatin', lyin', mean woman and left me 5 years later. Did get the dogs in the divorce, so that was a win in the end.
So glad you got the dogs!!! You are well shot of her.
Load More Replies...My closest friend recently sent me a message on WhatsApp saying she and her partner had just got married, and they wanted to share their good news with me (she'd never even said they were planning to marry, theyve been together over 20 years). Am I miffed that I didn't get invited? Absolutely not! I'm glad they had the tiny wedding they wanted (just them and their kids). And I don't have to keep poring over her photos or going on about how lovely the flowers were or how exquisite the beading on her shoes was, etc etc. I'd do just what she did! Small, cheap, and closest family only. Its the marriage/relationship which matters, not the wedding day itself.
We had our wedding at a rose garden and I even had a flannel over my dress and we wore converse. No foot pain. No discomfort. Perfect wedding and I made my own wedding dress for 10 dollars ! Haha 😄
Hubs and I decided on a laid back, no pressure wedding. Invite was emailed out. No gifts. No reception. Some family came out, mostly our friends and my co-workers attended the ceremony. We booked the church for an extra hour so we could mingle. Had a flat of water on hand if needed (left with 1/2 of it). Photographer is a friend and gifted our photos and his time. We did pay for a videographer though so we could post the ceremony online and let others who didn't attend watch it. I got my $50 dress on eBay. Our parents and grandparents came from out of town and we took them out for a fancy thank you dinner. The only thing I would have done differently is gotten a dress style closer to my "dream" dress. Other than that - it was an absolutely perfect day (it even rained for most of it).
My wife and I agreed right from the start we wanted a simple wedding. We'd rather not start our married life in debt. Pretty soon, it became a game to us: how cheap were we willing to be? We got married at this beautiful little chapel on our university campus (I think it cost us $25 to rent for the day). We got married by a Justice of the Peace (another $25 back then, I think). Our friends held the reception at their house, and everybody brought food. I wore a suit I owned, and my wife wore a dress she owned. My sister hit "play" on the cd player. We couldn't find wedding announcements we liked, so we bought these super-cheap 50th wedding anniversary announcements, and dated them 50 years in the future. We paid something like a hundred dollars for the rings, but they were nice rings (and we stopped wearing them ages ago anyway). We didn't have a honeymoon. We said "Life is our honeymoon". We've been married now nearly 30 years, and she's still my best friend.
I am 43 and my husband is 44 and due to Covid my husband and I got married via Zoom and the county charged us $75 . I did buy a dress ($90 marked down to $45) and we had dinner after at a pub up the street ($55). Total cost = $220. We do plan to have a ceremony in Vegas next year on our 1 year anniversary but for $220 we did pretty good. You don't need much to be married!
I was married in June of 1976. Spent $1000.00. Bought a house with what I saved! It was a no brainer. Loved my small wedding with people Thai I loved and that loved me. After all these years I still remember conversations.
Personally I think the more time and money goes into a wedding the more the marriage part becomes forgotten - it's a huge build up to one day and every day after that is going to be boring and disappointing given the build up. I've done the big wedding and the marriage was a disaster. My second wedding was just us, our kids and both our mums as my dad had died the year before and I couldn't imagine a big party without him. Worked out perfect for us
Most big weddings I attendet didnt last very long. Dometimes Not Even the Wedding pictures arrived. We didnt spend much, bc we didnt want to! 21 years later we are still together. Even the honeymoon is still to come.
My Joe and I married 6 months after we met. We had a private ceremony, crashed by 10 of his friends, at the courthouse. We went home to our newly rented apartment to find more of his friends cooking lasagna. Best time ever! That was May 5, 1975.
My first wedding was small & intimate in a lovely chapel in Leavenworth, WA. We spent very little. We both knew it probably wouldn't last, but I was pregnant & we wanted to seal her legitimacy. Second wedding was a big affair with the "poufy" dress & veil, flowers everywhere, nice buffet dinner & VERY expensive cake. It lasted less than a year. On October 25th my "boyfriend" and I are getting married after 14 years together - At the courthouse, with my stepmother in attendance. No fuss, no muss, no ridiculous debt. The only expenses are the court fees, his new black pants, my new shoes and a new black camisole for a shirt I bought on vacation in August, but have never worn. Buy a new car, put a down payment on a house - don't waste it on a 7 hour party!
Ours was small, we both had small families, mostly older people or younger cousins (I was the oldest girl in the family and first married). Got married in the beautiful church I was raised in by a man I respected, had a fun reception for which I have many photos, thankfully, as most of the people are gone now. Nice weekend drive for the honeymoon though with sinus infections and food poisoning, lol. Turns out my stomach won't handle lobster very well. We were married 39 years, four kids and a couple of grandkids. 10 out of 10 would do it again.
Got married at Zion National Park! Permission from the Parks Dept, 2 cars of friends, dinner at a diner! A fun time was had by all. Didn't want gifts, just friends. 13 years later we're still going strong!
I used to wedding receptions at my church. The small family and close friends were the nicest. The large ones the couple and parents do not really get to visit with the hundred or so people. A lot of the big weddings is to impress the parents friends and business associates. Most of the invitees are the parents friends and not friends of the couple.
Got married on a Tuesday after 5PM, on the beach in Alaska where we met, by a South Korean missionary who was a friend of both our families, under a tarp since it was raining. Don't regret a thing. Everything was terrible and awesome and I wouldn't have had it any other way. No regrets! I have amazing stories of the tragedy and joy of that day. I can NEVER forget a single thing.
14 years and counting of having a Civil Partnership, Hubby and I plus 2 friends as witnesses, casual clothing, take-away afterwards. No gifts wanted, no honeymoon.Totally no bothered about it being a very small event as to us the event of showing our commitment to one another was the important thing.
My husband and I couldn't afford a big wedding. Nor did we want one actually. So we got married at a graveyard on Halloween in New Orleans. Had a 20 min. Ceremony and invited strangers who wanted to wear costumes and come he witnesses since our family couldn't be there. We then took everyone who showed up to the quarter for coffee and beignets and paid for it as a thank you. Obviously. Lol. We wanted the most New Orleans wedding ever which it turned out to be and I was so happy that so many people showed up in costume. We didn't expect anything from anyone and ppl were grateful to be included. It was just a bunch of ppl grateful to be apart of something fun and I couldn't ask for a better wedding. The only thing I'd change is flying my family down. My husbands a truck driver n I wanted to be married on Halloween n we also wanted a tax break. Lol. Which is why we did it quickly. We planned to have another small wedding after we bought our house. Then Covid happened. But it cost us $500
We had a tiny 31 person $6200 wedding. That includes everything! We had it at a 5 star historic inn in NY and it was so simple and so elegant and could not have been more perfect. We were older and not the types for big over the top weddings even if we'd been young. We just wanted a beautiful night with each other and our loved ones.
We spent around five thousand in the late nineties. This was for everything. Invitations, dress, cake, photographer, hall, food (wings, etc), alcohol & bartenders, etc. It wasn't exactly a small wedding, though we kept the service to family and friends. Reception was open door, open bar. Plus a barbecue the next day. children were welcome. We made it clear to everyone that everything was casual. The only ones who dressed up had another wedding to attend after ours and came back to our reception. It was an amazing day.
Got married in The Gambia (my late husband is from there). Basically we got married only to get paperwork for a visa for him to come to my country, so did not want to invest too much in it. Never cared much for weddings. My own family wasn't even there. The main single cost was bribing the officials at the Ministry of Justice to get a wedding date confirmed, that cost about 200 euro (long story). For the wedding itself we spent about 300 euro which was spent on our our traditional costumes, small sound system and food, drinks and smoke for those present. We invited 8 people to come and have lunch at our compound, ended up with about 150 people (it turned into an outdoor/ block party). Good thing the neighbors offered to cook some BIG pots of food! They did refuse any payment afterwards. Well in those days The Gambia was really cheap, you could buy a bottle of Coke for 10 cents.
my spouse and i had a backyard wedding. no more than $2k including outfits, catering from a favorite local restaurant, amazing dessert spreads from a local bakery, and the mead. spouse's friend married us, and we made so many amazing memories. we see friends who get big weddings and go "we had the perfect wedding :)" 100/10 would do again
The only people I told we were getting married was my mum and sister. Even my sons didn't know why they were being asked to dress up. I had a £20 sale dress from New Look and my "bouquet" was a lily from the plant where I buried my miscarried babas, so they could be with us. The rings were cheap relatively speaking (£100 each as I know I'm terrible at losing things) we had the smallest option at the registry office (4 guests only) then a garden party at my mums with just closest friends and family before heading off to Glastonbury festival for our honeymoon. Spent our first night together in the car before joining the queue to get in at 4am. Put up the tent, walked to the loo and when I got back realised I'd lost my ring somewhere in the pyramid arena lol. I reported it to lost and found and did actually get it back (albeit scuffed up) a few weeks later, thanks to their meticulous cleaning up staff. It suited us down to the ground and we have no regrets.
I accidentally made a profit on my wedding. I made my dress, my bridesmaid made hers, and husband wore his best suit. The church where we were members didn't charge us anything and neither did the friends who played organ and sang (although we slipped them something). Another friend recorded everything, two photographed and another catered the reception as a present (40 people). Friends and family from far away sent money instead of coming and - oops - I took in more than I spent.
We got married 50 years ago at 18 and 21. After the ceremony we had dinner in a hotel with both our parents and my husbands 8 sisters and brothers and their spouses and my 5 sisters and brothers and their spouses. Paid with my savings. We had to go home early because I was due at my first day at work the next day at 8 am. Never regretted it! Still happily married!
If people want to have a big, fancy wedding, go for it! But plan ahead, budget, and pay for everything yourself.
Or, if you’re not religious, just don’t get married at all. Love (along with trust and dedication) doesn’t require a legal contract, nor the deterrent/threat of divorce.
My wedding dress was a $50 sun dress. My uncle was the minister that married my husband and I. We had it done by the beach (Grand Traverse Bay, Lake Michigan) where we lived, free space. Only our parents attended along with my aunt and uncle. Ate at a nice restaurant and watched the 4th of July fireworks later that night. Really simple and I'll never forget how special and personal it was. It's been 10 years.
I don't have a partner but I've been planning our funky wedding for years. I want to make crop circles in my aunt's field that has a river winding around it. Each circle with have a different event or yard game. At the center will be a hay wagon. It will be the backdrop for the wedding and the stage for dancing. The seats will be bales of hay with blankets thrown over. At dinner we'll set up folding tables between the seats. It will be a "no gift" wedding, your ticket in the door is your favorite dish to add to the potluck. Meaning anybody who wants to come can. I'm going to wear a knee length dress to ride on the back of a tractor driven by my dad to the runway. I'll hop down duck behind a bush and pull on a fluffy over skirt that I made. I'll pop out and walk down the runway by myself. I don't need any man to give me away. After wards we'll go swimming and dancing and play lots of games :) now I just need a best friend partner where we want to grow old together.
We had a fairly small wedding, less than 50 friends and family. We got a keg of beer, a case of champagne and had a BBQ. It was so much fun and everybody had a blast. Thing is, it was all still a blur. I couldn't imaging paying out thousands of dollars for a day you'll barely remember.
I'm glad I didn't have the big wedding. The day my husband and I were supposed to get married was the same day my sister found out that her boyfriend had passed from a grand mal seizure. Had we gone with a huge wedding, I think it would have been horrible to put my sister through that. Our wedding day was easily shifted to a Thursday and she agreed to be a witness. She said being a part of that made her feel like everything would be ok. It was only her, my aunt, my husband's best friend and us along with the preacher. Nice, small and appropriate for what we wanted.
I think having a small wedding is great, and hats off to those who signed their papers with little ceremony and are happy, but I enjoyed putting on a big day. We had 70 guests at a beautiful venue, sun was out, drinks were flowing, and I'm glad we spent the money (around £7,000). Key is to spend only what you can afford (people spending £30k+ WTF...), and stay true to what makes you happy as a couple.
Relatively speaking I would say you still had a smallish wedding regarding number of guests and the costs, to be honest. We spent €7000 and had 30 guests. I still think that's a lot less than the average wedding costs. But as you say, it's about what you can afford.
Load More Replies...My first marriage, we had a large event with around 125 people with a big expensive reception. I was exhausted and it was impossible to greet everyone. I had fun but it was just too much. The marriage lasted 19 years. After 12 years together, my current husband and I had a small service in Reno with just a few people last month. It was less pressure and we could better focus on each other. Tomorrow we're having a reception with around 50 people, a backyard BBQ. It's still a lot of work but it'll be a more intimate setting and I will be less stressed.
The nice thing about the first wedding is that we got lots of pictures and video of so many relatives who are no longer with us now. It was a really happy day for my parents. This time, my 87 yr old mother walked me down the aisle, since Dad is gone. I'm glad we did it while she was still with us.
Load More Replies...My ex husband and I got married in Scotland just the two of us, the magistrate, and my friend was the photographer and witness, the other witness somebody he knew. Neither of us had any family members present because they lived in South Africa. My husband and I were together for 13 years and my in-laws never met my parents during their time (I think everyone dodged a bullet there) if I ever do get married again and that is a big IF, I want a simple handfasting ceremony just myself and my partner and a witness which will be renewed every one year and a day. The thought of making a lifetime commitment to another person is very daunting; my partner has been married twice before so neither of us are keen on the whole traditional marriage. We are already fully committed in our hearts and at the end of the day that's all that really matters.
What happened to the father of the bride paying for the wedding? Come on Boomers, that was your thing, step up and show us that money we're all supposed to have.
My wife and I got married on the firing deck of Castillo de San Marcos in St. Augustine, FL. There were four people in the wedding (her parents and mine). You aren't allowed to do that, so we waited until they had a tour group on the ground level.
Never had a wedding and I kind of want one. Got married because I needed the student loan money and my husband agreed to marry me as long as I never told anyone. Went to the court house, I cried and vomited, told him I was so sorry and I would make it up to him. That was 10 years ago. We talked about having a wedding here and there but the cost never seemed worth it. My proposal was amazing though. He proposed to me about 4 years into our marriage at a masquerade ball in a mansion on New Years Eve right when the clock struck 12 on this enormous stair case. Honestly, being proposed to 4 years into my marriage was worth a million and one weddings. Thought about a wedding for our 10 year anniversary but we partied our brains out on a boat instead. Perhaps the 20th anniversary will be the time.
Went to the judge. Had our parents there, and two witnesses, and that was it. Then went to lunch. Less than $1K in today's money, about $300 in then-money. Very much a low-key no-fuss thing, then got on with our lives. :-)
Think I might send this to my daughter, so far she has come up with a guest list of 200 people (I don't even know 200 people) I just can't see how in one day she would be able to speak to everyone.
She and her partner will certainly not love or probably even like 200 people. You really don't get to talk to everyone. People worry so much more about things going wrong with big weddings. It is stressful and very outwardly focused - usually more about what people think than the love and commitment being shared. Obviously it is their day but you can't help but question why it matters so much to put on a massive do. Hope she is happy, though, whatever she and her future spouse decide.
Load More Replies...We didn't want to spend thousands on a wedding so we got married at the registry office, had a nice meal and drinks at a local restaurant afterwards and then went to my mum and dad's for a bit of a party afterwards. My dress, which was just what I was looking for, cost £50, my hairdresser who I've known for years did mine and my mum's hair for free. We didn't have a photographer so as a surprise my hairdresser came and took photos of us when we came out of the registry office and they're beautiful photos! Don't regret a thing, whole thing cost us a couple of grand.
I'm sure this opinion is not popular, but everyone knows there is only one reason people have big weddings: that's what the woman wanted. If weddings were up to men, they would all take place in a courtroom with a couple witnesses, or even smaller if possible.
Not quite-my husband actually wanted a bigger wedding than we had (around 175) because he had a lot of family and so do I. I’m the one who cut the guest list, and initially I was the one who said we could just run off and elope in the mountains of our parents didn’t approve (fortunately they did though).
Load More Replies...