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35 People That Did Such Horrid Things Their Closest Friends Just Had To End Their Friendship
Interview
If you ever shared a BFF necklace with someone in your kindergarten class or got a matching tattoo with your college roommate, you know how strong the bond of friendship can be. But unfortunately, life is unpredictable, and sometimes we need to shut the door on people who were once our closest companions.
One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share reasons why their former friendships have ended, and hundreds of people weighed in with heartbreakingly honest responses. Below, you can read all about these friendships that reached their expiration dates, as well as hear from Licensed Clinical Social Worker Sarah Betz, and be sure to upvote the stories that resonate with you.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Me ghosting them.
I tend to lose touch with people when I'm no longer physically within their presence. Like, I lost my high school friends when I went to college. Lost college buddies when I graduated and started working. Lost my close colleagues when pandemic hit and remote work became a thing. Now I have no friends since I rarely leave the house anymore.
GlitterQueen541 2 years ago
Yup, I sometimes feel like I have object permanence issues...but with people I care deeply about and not just inanimate objects
Edward Dwyer 2 years ago
MANY years ago I "lost" all my friends because ALL of them moved to other states for this, that, and the other. I never fully recovered in regard to finding new friends. It's disorienting when you're wanting to make friends once you're in your 20s, 30s, and beyond.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Same here. I used to have so many close friends and now I have none. It didn't help I took a 15 year hiatus from the internet either
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
Why did you take a 15 year hiatus from the internet?
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RELATED:
#2
I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that.
ThisIsMe 2 years ago
This issue can be a two-way street. I work with someone that was in a position to make work life difficult if she didn't like you. And she clearly welded that sword. Many years ago we use to both be part of a group of friends at the office, but the rest have all moved on. We would still reach out to me to go places and do lunches, and I was afraid not to go because she could make work life hard. The time together was usually her griping about co-workers and griping about her own issues. I never initiated time with her, she did that. During COVID she was easy to avoid, but post COVID the invitations started coming again. I would go, but I never initiated. She eventually quit inviting me, but since it was on her terms I have not experienced any of the usual retaliation that I've seen other people suffer. I get I could have been clear on my boundaries about the negativity, but this way I get to keep some peace in my work life.
Royal Stray 2 years ago
To be fair if you have fun evetime you hang out, it might just be that they're really bad at making plans or are too nervous to ask, then when you aka the person who is in their mind the social and outgoing one who always makes the plans disappear they might think that you simply stopped being interested in hanging out with you. So if you're really tired of someone this might work, but ghosting usually isn't the way to go at least not without a simple message of "hey next time you plan something."
Giulia Fortunati 2 years ago
I can relate, I was always the one to make plans, have dinner chez moi, ecc... The moment I stopped, everybody disappeared!
Molly Whuppie 2 years ago (edited)
Same. I stopped setting a time for our weekly morning tea and that was that. I never heard from again.
Tim Nicebutdim 2 years ago
Been there, got the badge, his girlfriend would always apologise that he never rang me back, left my wedding at 6pm because "I have to work tomorrow", didn't come on stag do because "I have to work", weirdly seemed surprised that I didn't ask him to be my best man.
LK 2 years ago
It was always me suggesting things, and I came to resent the amount of work I was putting in to the relationships. So, I stopped. It took them 6 months to realise, and when I said how hurt I had been by their actions *they* stormed off in a huff. The group disintegrated 2 months later.
To learn more about what sparked this conversation in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user u/_ReDd1T_UsEr, who posed the question, "What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?" Lucky for us, he was happy to have a chat with Bored Panda and shared, "I was inspired by my own experience with losing a friend and I wanted to see if anyone else had gone through something similar I also wanted to give them a chance to talk about it."
#3
I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs.
Majungasaurus 2 years ago
I’m going through the same thing, and people keep telling me this. The thing is, they WERE my friends, they really truly were. Losing friends when you become sober is a lot more complex than “oh they just weren’t your friends to begin with.” Some of them are alcoholics in denial, some of them feel awkward with my newfound sobriety, some of them just don’t know how to hang out with friends without drinking or smoking. We’re all a little messed up in our own special way. But it’s not like we didn’t care for each other and lean on each other. That’s why it hurts so much to lose them - we WERE friends. I can see why we can’t be friends now, but it’s nothing malicious on their part. No one is thinking “oh let’s ghost Majung since she doesn’t drink anymore, what a loser.” Just humans being human, and it sucks.
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Apps 2 years ago (edited)
I understand. You're not alone and it will get better. It takes time to make new friends. My future mother in law told me not hand around her son because he drank and all his friends were party people too. He kept inviting me and I kept going. She saw me suffering with hangovers and she said you're not made for this lifestyle. I finally started turning down these invites but I would offer to go to dinner. Skip to 5 years later, we married and he doesn't hang around those people anymore. I never said he couldn't go, only that I wasn't interested but I didn't mind if he went. I even offered to drop him off and pick him up. He decided for himself that he didnt want to keep living like that. You can do this. Find other things that interest you - that's when you will find healthy people that are worth your friendship.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I lost a lot when I went to rehab. They expected me to still come out and not do drugs or drink but be their designated driver. Not real friends
pamela nichols 2 years ago
A "friend" once told me if I wasn't getting high with her then I wasn't her friend. Do you really need "friends"?
LC Greenwood 2 years ago
Go to 12 Step Program and find the winners. There are supportive wonderful people to be found.
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
I think a lot of people need to remember, that you never lost the most important person in your life. And that person is YOU. You will find new friends and new interests to replace the old. Keep working on the new you and make yourself proud.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
Good for you and those 2 friends. I lost everyone when I got sober and I regret nothing.
#4
No called-no showed to my wedding. We had been drifting apart already for a few years due to work and other life things getting in the way. But I made an effort to still invite him to because he had been an important part of my life and helped me through some hard times. He never responded to the rsvp. I called him up to see if he had lost it, gave him the date, and told him I was excited to see him there and celebrate.
Didn’t show up, didn’t even send a text or call with a reason, never even offered a single congratulations.
He instead messaged me a few weeks after with the audacity to ask if I wanted to take some photos of his dads car that he was trying to sell. When I confronted him and told him how disappointed I was, he gave some b******t about how we’ll always be friends no matter what.
Then almost a year later he comes back into town and texts my brother “Yo bro let’s hit up the bars tonight” and my brother as the ride or die he is lit him up. “Dude you bailed on my brothers wedding, never offered an apology or reason (he now claims his car broke down, but no text was ever sent) and you’ve never made any effort to check in on our lives. We don’t go out to bars anymore, we’re both in serious relationships or married, and your friend you bailed on is about to have a kid. F**k off”. I’m super grateful for my brother for that. As for my former friend. F**k you. Actions speak louder than words.
Big Chungus 2 years ago
My dad's side of the family did the same thing to my wedding. All of them (excluding my dad of course he was obviously here) didn't even send an rsvp in which I had already put a stamp on and everything.
Cory Tollman 2 years ago
In a work related situation I RSVP'd that I would not be attending. I was contacted that I would be put on the list. I contacted them back about them keeping a list of people not attending. They apologized. It was that rare that people would bother to let them know that they weren't attending.
Load More Replies... Agamemnon O'Neill 2 years ago
Sometimes a wedding invite out of the blue feels like a cash grab. Like, I don't hear from you when there's nothing at stake, but NOW we're friends? However, no RSVP is inexcusable.
Jennie Brown 2 years ago
I invited many people I worked with and considered friends to my wedding and all but one showed up despite saying they would come. It hurt and I still work with them so whenever I feel guilty about a mistake or calling in sick, I remember that and it helps
Gg 2 years ago
Ugh I invited one of my friends and she told me she was going to see her Mom that weekend. (She goes about 10 times a year to see her) I thought you couldn't just go another weekend? Plenty of time to switch plans. Shouldn't have been surprised she told another friend she couldn't go to her wedding because she was going out to dinner that night.
The OP also shared about how his own experience losing a friend impacted him. "When I was in high school, I had to end my friendship with my best friend because he began hanging out with negative people and became toxic towards me," he explained. "It hurt. Especially because on my first day there, he stood up for me when I was bullied. But I've also came to understand it was the best thing for both of us."
#5
She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around.
Trish Panda 2 years ago
I had a friend like this. When I needed her the most she ghosted. She was my best friend and than poof gone.
Karen Startz Richardson 2 years ago
Losing, "friends like this"...is actually liberating. I went through my own version back before Thanksgiving..it stung at first...then, the reality of how selfish & narcissistic this person was just hit me. I was embarrassed to have not seen/ acknowledged the many red flags sooner.
Phil Clarke 2 years ago
i have known people like that, you have an issue, their issue is worse or they have done something better. they just cant stfu they need to be the centre of attention. I knew someone who would take what you suggest, repeat it but give a shittier suggestion. i wanted to punch them
Edward Dwyer 2 years ago
I don't normally like skinny a*s women, but the one above I will make an exception.
Just Chill 2 years ago
Totally have "friends" like that. All they want is benefit for themselves, they don't care about me. Makes me really mad.
#6
Her bf strangles her and put her in a choke hold one night bc she wouldn't let him have the keys to her car as he was intoxicated. I came over the next day to offer comfort and encouraged her to rethink the relationship. She took him back and now I'm not allowed to contact them for " trying to drive a wedge between them"
lenka 2 years ago
She is trapped in an abusive relationship, is likely being subjected to emotional manipulation and gaslighting. Please don't give up on her. Let her know that you will always be there for her. She needs to know she is not alone to be able to escape his clutches.
pug nose curly tail 2 years ago
Yes! He would love nothing more but for you to go away. Don't.
Load More Replies... Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I'm sure the boyfriend made this a condition not the friend. Sometimes there is a lot more involved making it impossible to leave like kids or pets
somnomania 2 years ago
to people in this situation, of trying to help a friend in a bad situation: they often are in deep denial about how bad things are, or that they're bad at all. i butted heads repeatedly with a very close friend while she was still living with family and dealing with a bpd, suicidal drug addict mom. i kept telling her that there's a point where you can't do anything else, and that she needed to get out of there and live her own life, and at the time she was very upset with me for saying that. but now that she's out and living on her own, she recognizes that it was a really s****y situation that was bad for her.
Walter Black Bill 2 years ago
I want to know the name of the bf and his phone number so I can either make him disappear or arrest him 😃
When it comes to why ending friendships is so difficult and painful, _ReDd1T_UsEr supposes, "[It's] because you aren't just strangers to each other. Both people have had good memories together, and they were people that you wanted in your life before you or they ended the friendship."
We were also curious what his thoughts were on all of the responses his post received. "I was very surprised at how many different people talked about their experiences and how many were in the right and wrong. The ones where they said their friends were badly influenced by someone and negatively changed as people reminded me of my own experience."
#7
He kept embarrassing me in front of girls to make himself seem cooler.
Sometimes he’d bring up embarrassing stories that i obviously wouldn’t want someone to hear. Often they were things I told him in confidence because i needed to get it off my chest.
I asked him to stop but he just kept trying it. Sometimes he’d deny doing it altogether and other times he’d bring up something i did years ago to justify why he was doing it and other times he’d just not care. In the end i just stopped talking to him
Dude was a massive prick.
Sassy Feminist 2 years ago
Relatable. My ex friend was such a massive prick that he used to make fun of my every statement (no matter what context) or used to counter argue on my Pov, just for the sake of it. It was a long time before I started confronting him. He was unapologetic and said he has a right to his POV. Finally I broke my friendship with me. If someone is constantly putting you down just so they can look better, they are not your friend.
Sassy Feminist 2 years ago
Edit: Finally, I broke my friendship with him*
Load More Replies... Black Cat 2 years ago
I wonder if he feels self conscious and insecure ans he does this to deflect potential negative attention of himself and on to you. Still, a d**k move.
PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago (edited)
Yes I think he is, I had a friend like this for about a decade, she was insane to deal with and I think I only hung in there cos I both genuinely liked her cos she was pretty cool and funny and felt sorry that she sabotaged every relationship of any kind in her life. She was just toxic
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He told me that atheists should be second-class citizens, kept out of any form of government, and be prevented from voting or running for office.
I'm an atheist. I'm also a veteran and active in local politics. He only volunteers for his church, and the most political thing he has done is fly a flag and vote.
I thanked him and never said another word to him again. This was ten years before Trump was elected. He hasn't bothered to reach out.
DC 2 years ago
He's never been worth your time. But, this seems to be an opinion that is generally accepted, as then-candidate George Bush Sr. said pretty much the same in his campaign, and yet, got elected. Everybody giving the littlest damn about civil rights, and truly understands them for what they are and why they must be, could not vote for him anymore, and, still, he got into office. Seeing atheists as inferior people who shouldn't be citizens. "One nation under god". That old BS again, and they still poison the entire country and culture with this exclusionory attempt. Christian Supremacy isn't less evil than White Supremacy is, but, it seems, isn't even seen as a problem whatsoever by more than enough people to not have to care about even downright insulting and threatening atheists for what they are and, with every right imaginable, believe.
michael Chock 2 years ago
Under God was added later during the great brainwashing. Most of the founding fathers were not christian.
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Jeremy James 2 years ago
It sounds like OP is in the US. Obviously the founders of our nation intended to create a society where everyone was forced to worship a particular God. It's the first clause in the Bill of Rights. /s
ThatFriendlyFox (she/her) 2 years ago
Im religious, so i disagree, but this guy can f**k off. People like this should be left out of government because of the way they think of others
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Ken Beattie 2 years ago
So did you ask him whether muslims can vote, or hindus, or church of satan? And hell, what particular offshoot of christianity is he (assuming he's christian)? If he's catholic does that mean every other variant but catholic doesn't get a say either?
The OP also left us with some wise words for anyone who is considering ending a friendship of their own. "If you have tried everything, but you feel the friendship needs to end, talk to them. Be honest, and tell them why you don't want to be friends anymore. By doing that, you will be giving both of you closure, and you can then move on with your life."
#9
It was with a group. A bunch of guys I hung out with in high school and college, the quintessential role playing crowd. They were fun in high school, but when I got into college, I noticed these guys were kind of...well....dysfunctional. As in, none of them could keep jobs, none of them could enjoy a relationship, and they all sat around and complained about how the entire world was unfair, how it didn't recognize their collective intellectual gifts.
Meanwhile, I was not just busting my a*s in school but working my way through to pay for it. And while my dating life wasn't the best, I managed to have a couple of long-term girlfriends. But if I was going out on a date, there was something wrong with me because I wasn't hanging out with them.
But I'd still spend time with them. When one of them would lose a job, I'd lend him money. When another of them was arrested for DUI in a small town 150 miles away at 9 pm on a Sunday night, I drove down there to bail him out. And so on.
Then my father had a sudden illness and went into a coma. Died a week later. During that time, only one of them called and came to the funeral.
A week after the funeral, they just started calling me again as if nothing had happened. As in, "Hey, heard your dad died. Bummer. We're meeting at Dennis' apartment at 7."
I dumped them, with the sole exception of the friend who showed up to the funeral. I remain friends with him to this day.
But I remember reading something once: You are the sum total of the five people with whom you spend the most time. And, you know what? That's absolutely true. What they value, how they spend their time and energy, and everything else has a way of rubbing off onto you.
So when I dumped them, I made it a point to cultivate better friends. Friends who gave a damn.
Every once in a while, I still bump into one or the other of them. Two of them never could hold down jobs and live with their aging parents. Good decision on my part.
Trish Panda 2 years ago
Seriously. My top 5 is mum, brother, dad, baby, dog
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Colleen Glim 2 years ago
The five people I spend the most time with are my husband, adult daughters, and best friend. Says a lot really
#10
When he started dating my ex but hid it from me for an entire year. Only told me when I was furious at him for a totally different reason, then when I was reasonably mad and told him to just leave me alone and that we weren't friends anymore, he went and told all of our mutual friends that I was in a murderous rage and it would be dangerous to hang out with me. Friends told me they didn't believe him but that it was just easier to go along with it than call him out on his BS and that I wouldn't be invited to things he was invited to.
Realized that day that my (former) best friend was a lying sociopath and the rest of my friends cared more about not making waves than they did about me.
Left the whole lot of them behind and went and found new friends. Best decision of my life.
Sonja 2 years ago
People who don't stand up for you when the other is obviously in the wrong and enable abusers and narcissists instead of kicking them out are just bad people and deserve everything they get in the long run. Drop them like hot potatoes. They're not worth any effort and will never give back on any kindness.
Walter Black Bill 2 years ago
The friend groups skill issue: afraid to be an upstander. The ex friends skill issue: probably is an idiot and likes giving people bullcrap
We also reached out to Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the Founder of Meadow Therapy, Sarah Betz, to hear her thoughts on the topic. Sarah specializes in trauma, including childhood trauma, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse, codependency, mind-body work, addiction, PTSD, disassociation, anxiety, depression, and self-harm. She is also passionate about LGBTQIA-affirming, body-positive, and sex-positive therapy, and was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about what it takes to have a healthy friendship.
"Healthy friendships are much like romantic relationships," Sarah shared. "They require communication, consistency, reciprocity, respect, trust, and authenticity. Conflict is healthy within all relationships if done with care. You can expect to disagree, argue, and not get your needs met sometimes. It's more about how you fight rather than if you fight."
#11
She was one of my dearest friends. Then my mom died unexpectedly, and my dear friend didn’t contact me. She was on Facebook, she saw the post. She just…didn’t contact me. I couldn’t believe it. With every day that passed, I kept waiting for my best friend to contact me and acknowledge my mom’s sudden death. She didn’t. The pain she put me through during what was already the worst time of my life…I hope she knows how violently scummy that was.
CD King 2 years ago
I'm very sorry for your loss. Why didn't you call your dear friend when your mom died? It's not a Facebook post that should have let her know of the painful situation you were facing. Not blaming the victim!!! Just curious as I would call the people closest to me first (and not posted it to Facebook but that's a personal preference)
Majungasaurus 2 years ago
I agree with you. I rarely use Facebook. I’ve been called out before for not acknowledging Facebook posts that I didn’t even see because I wasn’t on Facebook. I think people have forgotten how to keep in touch without social media.
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Sonia Ward 2 years ago
I don't understand why she was announcing it on Facebook instead of speaking privately to her dearest friend (s)
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
Some people don’t know how to react or to show their support. She may have been waiting on a call from you. Don’t rush to quickly to play the victim role.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago (edited)
That is what i thought. It is very difficult to know what to say to someone in that situation. Since you didn't contact her, she may have thought, that you didn't want to talk to her about it.
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Lola McLaren 2 years ago
Way to place the onus on the person who has suffered the loss.
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Vix 2 years ago
I found out who my friends really were when my Mam passed. People who I didn't really know well were messaging me that they were there for me. It meant the world to receive them.
J 2 years ago
But you announced it on FB just like you’d announce a concert? What if some of your friends didn’t even see your social media posts about your loss? How is that on them?
Load More Replies... J 2 years ago
Sounds like you lost four followers on social media who didn’t see your post. Everyone grieves differently, I guess.
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Kat Min 2 years ago
Some people simplyy don't know how to respond to a tragedy. And the longer they can't respond, the greater their shame is. We need to decide if we want to keep someone who has this kind of disfunction in our lives or not. If we do because they are great in other aspects, then we need to reach out and let them know things are ok,
BarBeeGirl 2 years ago
My former bff did the same thing when my dad died. I messaged her to tell her about the funeral and she still didn't show up. 40 year friendship went down the drain when I realized how one sided it had always been
The_tattered_hippie 2 years ago
My use to be bf's mom died the same week as my sons cancerversary (day he was diagnosed with cancer) fell on. I'm not on social media now, but when I was... I took a week long break during that time to save my sanity. She was very upset that I didn't say anything about her mom dying. I honestly didn't know. We haven't spoken since that day. It's been 5 years.
Kiara Kat 2 years ago
Why don’t you reach out to her? It seems like a big misunderstanding on both your parts. She didn’t personally call you to let you know her mom had passed, and you didn’t let her know what you were going through either. Neither of you are to blame here. If you value her friendship, be the bigger person and get in touch with her. She might be going through exactly the same thing you are right now.
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Kim Shannon 2 years ago
I would confront her about it. No need to be rude or aggressive about it. Just ask why and see what she says.
#12
Of all the toxic friends I’ve had to drop in the past two years, there was one thing in common: feeling the need to put me down, whether they were insecure or just “making a joke.” Not worth any of that.
Black Cat 2 years ago
I've had this too. When my friend and I were alone, she was nice to me but if we were in a group she would use me as the butt of every joke, put me on the spot, mock me etc. Don't regret losing this friendship.
Christina Watson 2 years ago
Same here. Took me a long time to ditch this person. She served no purpose other than to knock me down at every chance. Who needs this?
Hetal Vyas 2 years ago
Same here, at university I was a very quiet person, I then realised during a uni trip that 'That wasn't me' I'm not quiet and a follower. My so called friends "disowned" me and started spreading rumours about me. I then made friends with a different set of people who I'm still friends with after 25 years
Just Chill 2 years ago
I hate it when my friends are fake. Like my sister too is kinda fake not really but a little like we're besties at home but at school she don't take to me and when i ask her about it when i get home she denies it. It's really frustrating.
As far as why many friendships reach their expiration dates, Sarah says, "Many end because of a lack of honesty and communication about what is happening in the friendship itself. We put so much work into building a healthy family or romantic relationships but forget that friendships need time and attention too. When friends ignore their growing issues, resentment builds. When your needs aren't being met, speak up! Ask for support and help with meeting your needs. Remember to ask your friends what support they may also need from you."
#13
She was unvaccinated and refused to take a covid test before seeing me. My mother was terminally ill and severely immuno-compromised, so I was absolutely trying to minimise the risk of getting covid so I could still see my Mum.
She refused to take a test, twice, despite kind and calm requests and explanations, on the basis that she "didn't want to get a sinus infection." (This was in the time of nasal swabs, not mouth swabs, for covid tests. You know, those nasal swabs that are sterile and can't cause infection.)
I'm 100% sure that it wasn't about a sinus infection. It was about control. She had been annoyed because I hadn't validated her anti-vax stance in the past.
Similarly, I know she wanted more validation for her religious views, which she'd acquired in her 30s and which I didn't share. I'd told her that I was happy her faith made her happy, but I think she wanted me to truly share her beliefs. I'd also said that her sister's bisexuality was "fine with me" when she'd stated that a wedding of 2 women was "not what God wants."
I think all of those different views just threatened the way she saw the world, and how she saw herself.
Her last texts thanked me for "sharing my views" re covid and it's potential to kill my Mum, then became pseudo-concerned when I didn't reply. I read the whole situation as "I want to say whatever I want to you, but I want to still feel like a nice person, so please reply and give me that validation."
I didn't reply to her, but I still ask myself whether the mature thing to do would have been to clearly reply and state that I didn't want to stay in contact. It's taken me until now (over a year later) to see through the pain and formulate what I might have said.
We'd been friends since the first days of high school. 20+ years. In essence we just aquired very different views from each other as adults, but I can't pretend her attitude towards my Mum, and towards the horrible journey my family had to take, wasn't devastating.
Life is a bloody painful journey at times, that's for sure.
Panda Boi 2 years ago (edited)
To each and every anti-vaxx (now ex) friend that they have the right to be as paranoid and selfish as they want to be, and that I have the right to never want them in my life again.
aartdesigns 2 years ago
absolutely. This whole pandemic and magat eccosystem since 2016 has been a painful eye opener. People and personalities I have know for years reveild their true selves... It was, personally, quite a purge of toxic people out of my life. Truely one of those "do you really know anybody" moments. It actually extended over several years, but you know what I mean. Unbelievably eye-opening.
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Jo March's Red Fox 2 years ago
Same with my husband who gets his immune system irradiated twice a year. Friends and even family took our "If you don't get tested or won't get vaccinated you can't come over" as a political statement. Nope. Just trying not to kill him. So we pretty much sit in our house together and get our groceries delivered.
Id row 2 years ago
I had a friend who turned all Jesus-y after HS and I wanted to part of that nonsense. I do still have one friend from HS and she's anti-vaxx. After I had enough of her views, I told her we need to not talk about it and agree to disagree if she wanted to stay friends. Btw, she's had covid 3 times. I've had it zero. But, hey, at least she didn't let them inject 5G, tracking and magnets into her by getting vaccinated. /s
Sally Signup 2 years ago (edited)
Your evidence is anecdotal, as is mine. I'm not vaccinated for Covid, have been exposed to people with Covid, and still did not catch it, unless I caught it very early when vaccines weren't available. I'm not against other vaccines, but I do think the Covid vaccine needs more time and testing. That said, I have no problem keeping my distance from folks when I'm sick or honoring a request to test. OP had a very good reason to make sure the friend was "clean" so as to protect mom.
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FABULOUS1 2 years ago
Wow, this is a lot of what happened to me and my best friend. Her covid is a hoax, became super religious, and started making comments about me being gay after 20+ years of never saying anything. We made up for a moment. But I realized our friendship would never be the same and I didnt want one with someone who thinks so low of me and my marriage. She moved on and it was time for me to also, so I just blocked her from everything. We will see each other again since she is 3 of my nephews mother.
Tim Nicebutdim 2 years ago (edited)
I get why you didn't engage and just walked away, you'd just be repeating the same cycle over and over, far easier to just leave.
Walter Black Bill 2 years ago
That is wrong on more levels than there are atoms in the entire universe.
#14
I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same.
I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact.
Ingo Sauer 2 years ago
Recognizing your own past faults is major achievement per se. It shows psychological growth that some just cannot seem to attain.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Good on you for admitting your faults and not putting it on the friend somehow like most would. Really shows you have changed
Barbara Kayton 2 years ago
Kudos for being capable of changing. May your life be filled with blessings and good friends.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
If you have chanced for the better you should be able to find new good friends.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
You've done your part, hopefully fate steps in and brings you new friends and new, better adventures.
Sarah also told Bored Panda that ending a friendship may be particularly difficult and painful because it's a loss. "A real loss of love and/or connection," she explained. "We only have rituals for mourning a loss of life, but there are more losses than solely death. Relationship losses can lead to sadness, grief, loneliness, and potentially feelings of mistrust or betrayal."
#15
How's this for oddly specific:
Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years.
Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket.
Maybe he'll call me in 2063.
Mac 2 years ago
? One was a bar tab, the other was an entrance/ticket fee.
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Nunna Yurbiz 2 years ago
Not when it's always the same person yielding. You shouldn't let people take advantage of you, and they will if you're always the one 'letting it go'.
Load More Replies... #16
I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the 20
Bell-acose 2 years ago
I'd like to introduce you to my bank manager. She REALLY needs to hear this.
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
Something similar happened to my husband. He had a friend flake on him (no call, no show) for some plans and then spent the next several years avoiding him. The guy was a slug, so it was good riddance as far as I was concerned.
And if you're looking for the best way to end a friendship, Sarah notes that, "Direct communication is the most helpful way to end a friendship. While we want to refrain from being cruel, avoiding hurting someone's feelings to be 'broken up with' in a friendship may be impossible. Try to be kind in telling someone that you don't want to or cannot be friends with them anymore. Give them the reasons -- don't leave them in the dark wondering what they could have done differently or why things ended. And to the extent that you can, or it's safe to do so, tell them in person or over the phone. Texting someone can lead to miscommunication or a friend feeling that they weren't 'worth enough' to be told to their face."
#17
She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her “business”.
Barbara Kayton 2 years ago
Having been a life=long sucker for the MLM schemes, I can say they truly create false friendships and ruin far too many relationships and finances. They genuinely should be illegal, even though they are not, legally, pyramid schemes.
J 2 years ago (edited)
I can’t imagine ending a friendship because a friend didn’t become my customer. If you literally put a price on your friendships (buy from me or else!) then it’s not the MLM that’s the problem. It takes a special kind of character to choose friends based strictly on their financial support of a business venture. It’ll never be illegal to value friendships based on their contribution to one’s income. The friends you lost may have simply realized that you cared about their money, not them.
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FatLipsMcCool 2 years ago
MLMs need to be outlawed. So what if they aren't technically pyramid schemes? They are close enough, and JUST as unethical
J 2 years ago
Yes. And also, it’s an individual choice to reject friends because they didn’t spend their money on your business. Let’s not confuse finances with character.
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Dre Mosley 2 years ago
I've unfriended a few people that got consumed with MLM madness. They lost themselves in it.
Barbara Skolly 2 years ago
Prime has a 3 part documentary called LuLaRich about the LuLaRoe mlm. These mlms brainwash their reps. The whole calling friends unsupportive thing is part of the script
Just Chill 2 years ago
I heard of that ugly leggings scheme on netflix or something it was on a show.
#18
When he f****d my wife. He had been my best friend since we were ~10. Best man at my wedding. All that. F**k you, Bruce.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Well he did you a favour, showed you couldn't trust your wife either. Not a great way to do it though >_<
Edward Dwyer 2 years ago
I'll never understand why people put themselves into a situation/scene/area with someone they are attracted to when no good will come from it. Keep walking.
"Treat your friends with as much care as possible. Friendships often outlast romantic relationships and can sometimes be more intimate than family bonds. Let your friends know what a gift they are to you," Sarah added.
If you're looking for more wise words from Sarah, you can find her information right here, and if you are seeking a mental health professional in your area, you can find all the resources you may need at Zencare's website right here!
#19
They s**t-shamed me and didn't support me when the guy I lost my virginity to spread my naked pics.
Black Cat 2 years ago
Oh what an awful thing to experience. Men who do this need to burn in hell.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Sorry not to make light because that is HORRIBLE but I thought it censored out the word sh 1 t not s Lu t and then thought the woman was sitting on a toilet in the stock photo. I was like '"what is ahit shaming and how come I've never heard of it?"
Fat Harry 2 years ago
Pro-tip: hold the right ALT key when typing vowels to avoid the censor. It accents the vowel: shít, slút, cráp, áss, etc.
Load More Replies... Melissa Harris 2 years ago
Don't know when this happen; but, where I live this is considered a type of assault. You can't distribute intimate photos of a person without their consent.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Unfortunately the laws to prevent that haven't been around that long in most places. And they can't be retroactive.
Load More Replies... Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
It is bad that this happened. This is why you don't allow someone to take pictures of your naked self or anyone else.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Well, you can take naked pictures but you've got to assume there's possibility they'll get out. Even with the laws to punish revenge-porn that are now in place that doesn't guarantee the pics won't get out. So always assume they will and decide whether you can live with that.
Load More Replies... Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
Women of all ages, listen: NEVER consent to photos in any kind of intimate setting or state of undress! All it takes is one disagreement and all your trust and privacy is out the window, visible to the world, your family, your potential employers and the general public. You will never get them back.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Not everything is the fault of Christian and this never alluded to religion at all. Your comment sounds just as judgemental as her friends.
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#20
There was a position open in a different department. I encouraged her to apply and told her I would be applying as well. What was the worst that would happen? They tell us we don’t qualify? Up until this point, we had been best friends for 3 years. Hung out with each others families and saw each other almost every weekend.
We found out at the same time. They emailed her letting her know she didn’t meet the qualifications. I received a call shortly from HR after they sent her that email asking me which interview time worked best for me. My previous experience is what qualified me. She got mad at me that I got an interview and she didn’t. Even contacted HR to ask why I got an interview and she didn’t. She stopped talking to me the same day we were both contacted by HR for that position. She deleted me off all social media.
I tried to talk to her about it but she flat out said she no longer wanted to be friends. I didn’t get the position, made being at work very awkward for the following 4 years I stayed. She was 35 and I was 34. Grown a*s adults yet she was acting like a child.
Turns out she’s one of the those that want the best for you as long as it’s not better than her. I ended up promoting out of the department and she’s still there.
Deppression 2 years ago
Thats an unfortunate loss of a friend but it probably was for the best
J 2 years ago
Definitely not a friend lost. Friends share and encourage each other’s happiness, period.
Load More Replies... Id row 2 years ago
What on earth would make OP think that pitting friends against each other was going to end well? "We both applied, what could possibly go wrong?" They should have had a long conversation about what would happen if one got picked and the other didn't.
Sonja 2 years ago
You are also in the wrong though process. Applicants are not 'pitted against each other'. Applications are not a zero sum game where one is the winner. Employers have a good idea of what they're looking for. They're not searching for a 'winner', they're searching for a good fit for their mold. That means, even good candidates with high qualifications can and will be sorted out. Being rejected doesn't mean you're in general a bad employee or the one invited is better, it just means they're better fitting some very specific specifications and you not so much. Chances are that lots of people apply and none get hired, no matter how good they are, just because for some off reason they're not a good fit. Sometimes two get hired when companies realise during the process that the job is too much for one. If you too make something like this into a competition, and react like a sore loser like this, then you're just a bad person with unreasonable judgement. Normal people don't react like that.
Load More Replies... #21
Feelings made things complicated. He knew I’d had a crush on him when we were in college, but he started to treat me like more than a friend – told me he’d want to date me if he wasn’t with his girlfriend, called me his soulmate, I was his lock screen picture on his phone, he spontaneously invited himself on my solo trip to Europe the week after he broke up with said girlfriend – and I fell for him, bigtime.
I went to therapy to talk everything out, then finally worked up the nerve to tell him how I felt. I told him I loved him and that we needed to be more than friends or we couldn’t be anything at all, because this weird in-between we’d been floating in was messing me up in the head. He told me he couldn’t reciprocate my feelings so we agreed to give each other space.
That was 4 years ago now and neither of us has reached out since that final conversation. I still miss him, but I don’t regret speaking up for myself
Bex 2 years ago
Going through a similar situation now. F*ck the people who lead others on and who run away as soon as they get called out on their BS. I hope the OP is feeling better and has moved on to happier times and better relationships.
Kat Min 2 years ago
Maybe he thought 'Let's give it a try' and then just wasn't feeling it? People aren't always a-holes on purpose. Sometimes they are just thoguhtless or shortsighted.
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#22
I found out she’d been a willing participant, and even architect of, several good people losing their jobs or being scapegoated for stuff they didn’t do. She’s a horrible person. And that was that.
#23
I felt she only wanted me around when my life was a mess and worse then hers. Once I got a house and got engaged she distanced herself as I no longer had a purpose to her.
Crystal Ruiz 2 years ago
In this instance, i don't think op was seen as a project....more like their "friend" just wanted someone more miserable than them to feel better about themselves
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Heather Resatz 2 years ago
Yuck! I've had one of those .. always trying to stir up drama in my life. Sayonara!!!
#24
He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a "went out for a pack of smokes" Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now.
Nunna Yurbiz 2 years ago
Yikes. I dumped a 20yr friend for doing this with pets that she would constantly abandon. Whenever it came down to being able to afford either the animal's food or get herself a manicure, and she always chose to get herself the damn manicure. I couldn't afford to keep bailing her out and she always broke her promises of not getting yet another animal.
Cari Owens 2 years ago
Dude sounds like my ex. Last I knew he had 9 kids (including mine). NONE of them are full siblings.
#25
I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
I remember when I scraped up enough money to get a sh*tty car in my late teens. My friends suddenly couldn't walk a couple of blocks to my house. They expected me and my car to be available to them 24/7. I was stunned at the entitlement.
Wendy Mehrer 2 years ago
That was me in HS. I was starting to suspect that I was only a taxi so I began suggesting that we walk on nice days in our tiny little town. Suddenly they just kept forgetting to call me.
Kiara Kat 2 years ago (edited)
Same here. I was the only one in my circle of “friends” who was lucky enough to have my own car. A few of these “friends” had decided to go an event and when I asked about it, they told me they only had three tickets so I couldn’t go. I was too naive to think they were lying, so I believed it. Later I overheard them talking about not being able to go because none of them could borrow their parents’ car that day.:Then one of them said “Hey let’s invite Kiara, she’ll drive us”. They didn’t know I was standing behind them, and when they turned around and saw me, I said “don’t bother, I’m done being your personal chauffeur. F*ck you, enjoy taking the bus.” That was over 30 years ago, and I can still remember how much that hurt. I haven’t spoken to any of them since. Good riddance.
Load More Replies... Edward Dwyer 2 years ago
I once was a "taxi driver" since I drove one of my friend's car lots (Caddy's etc.) but after a while it got old.
Cory Tollman 2 years ago
When I bought my first vehicle when I was in the Navy. I purposely bought a small pickup. It had enough room to squeeze three people in the cab. I wasn't going to be hauling lots of people in the bed around a military base or ship. I did help someone pick up some plywood from Home Depot once but that guy also had me over to his house for Thanksgiving, and had me house sit for him at least once, nice to get away from the barracks so it was something I was happy to do for him.
#27
My former best friend got married and his “ posh” wife decided that she doesn’t want her husband to be seen with less rich people and he listened to her , the sad fact is , 3 years later her dad filed for bankruptcy and her husband ( my former friend) had to look for a new job which pays far less than all of us ( his former friends).
#28
Every interaction was draining, and they always needed something. It should feel good to be around friends, not like a chore to keep somebody else going
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
People like that don’t hit us up because we are their last resort. They hit us up because we are the most convenient. It’s OK to say no.
Nunna Yurbiz 2 years ago
Can take practice! Especially if you were raised to be compliant or face some kind of punishment or trauma.
Load More Replies... #29
After almost 10 years of friendship, they (M) fell in love with me (M). He was straight to my knowledge, had a girlfriend and all until a breakup. I am straight as well, and had recently broken off a 5year relationship. He made a move, I turned him down very respectfully, 0 judgement but was not interested Instead of accepting this, he wanted me to give it a shot. Became super toxic and I broke off all contact Still feel like I lost a brother
Jeremy James 2 years ago (edited)
My roommate and I had both been drinking. He wanted to "cuddle and watch a movie," in his room, which wasn't so unusual for us. I think it was "Coming to America," which we had both seen a hundred times. At some point, he started to kiss my neck. Eventually, I turned around and reciprocated. We made out for a bit. That was it. The next morning, he was gone and our other roommate woke me up saying, "He's on his way home and he's out for blood." I left and never saw him again. I felt like I lost a brother that day. I didn't think it was even possible to form that kind of friendship as an adult.
#30
She constantly kept stealing money from my purse/wallet when I went to the restroom when we were out (left it with her to “watch”). She made more money than me but thought I was some wealthy person?!? When I stopped hanging out with that group I realized just how much she had been stealing when I started having all kinds of extra money.
Nika Strokappe 2 years ago
And you never thought about bringing your wallet with you to the bathroom?
Nunna Yurbiz 2 years ago
You shouldn't have to when your friend says they'll watch your stuff? I'm just baffled at being friends with someone who steals from you for longer than .00001 seconds.
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#31
Constantly being the butt of every joke, and then they (literally “they,” it was more than one person) always said “I’m/We’re just joking” yet they never “joked” liked that with each other. I can take a joke, but when it’s just me, that’s a red flag. That and we used to work together. As soon as I quit, hardly a peep from any of them. No calls, texts, nothing.
Nunna Yurbiz 2 years ago
True, but they can still grieve the loss of what they thought was real.
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Ariadne Toms 2 years ago
Yeah my sister is like that. And I'm the bad guy if I don't laugh at the cruel joke at my expense
#32
Because they were f*****g toxic and I was too dumb to realize it.
Tobias Reaper 2 years ago
this is why i ended a friendship of over 20 years dude was a toxic friend it took me meeting my now bestie to realise how you supposed to feel around a friend and how they supposed to treat you the one thing i will never forget that they did was when i was going through a pretty severe bout of depression they told me unless i cheer up they would stop hanging around with me its been about 7 years since i spoke to them i dont harbour any ill feelings towards them anymore and i wish them well but i have no place in my life for them i'm a different person now
somnomania 2 years ago
glad you're doing better now and hanging with better people! <3
Load More Replies... Sassy Feminist 2 years ago
Same here. I was too naive to understand that they only wanted my around to either get something or to make fun of me.
#33
I identified an attitude of only doing plans with me if it was convenient to them, the last straw was this:
We hadn't seen each other in a while, I ran into them at campus, I said they should take a ride home with me so we could catch up while we got home (lived near each other) they said okay, and that they would leave their sibling with their car to take back home
After I waited for like an hour they just texted me that their sibling had already finished classes and that they would go home together
I had waited for them and this wasn't a favor I was doing them, it was an excuse to spend time together, so I just felt like spending time with me (even if it was for a little while) didn't matter, so I just stopped talking to them, and they never reached out
I've been wanting to text them for a while but never get to it
MacintoshID 2 years ago
People like that are not worth your time. Move on and find a friend or two that will appreciate you for you.
#34
He burned down his house because his wife demanded a bigger house and collected the insurance money. Then, he grew a big head about having an expensive house in the better part of town. But, I was proud of him, assuming he did it the right way. Then while we were hanging out, drinking of course, his wife wanted to know what we were talking about. So after a while he's too loaded to type and passes me the phone, too drunk to remember what he's been saying.....and I see it. " I did what he couldn't do, in half the time". I see it, control my rage, toss the phone back at him, and say " I think you can handle that chief". Then he spills his guts about burning the old house down, because he can't handle the guilt. A few weeks go by, and I refuse to bring it up because I know how I'll handle it. He asks my advice about buying a car he wants. But she doesn't want him to have it. I tell him to get it, because...f**k it...why not. She has a ghost app that let's her see everything on his phone, and sees me encouraging him to get the car. She goes on Facebook and posts some s****y drawn out victim type sob story about losing all respect for " a person I thought was a good man, but he encouraged my husband to go against me". So I called her up, and let her know I never respected her, and I damn well don't respect a coward posing as a man, that commits fraud by burning a house down for the insurance money. I loved that a*****e like a brother. F**k'em both.
Diseased Hat 2 years ago (edited)
man burned house for insurance money, got new bigger house, bragged about new house, drank to much, op saw "I did what he couldn't do, in half the time" on mans phone, man while drunk admitted to burning house, a few weeks go by, man asks op about getting a new car, op says he should, wife of the man saw that op told man he should get new car, wife writes story how op told her husband to go against her, op calls her, says he doesnt respect man who commits fraud by burning house. Or so i think
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Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
Dude feels a weird loyalty to an insurance company, that's all I grasped
Load More Replies... somnomania 2 years ago
jfc, what a toxic situation. the wife is at fault there; she's clearly abusive and controlling if she has a ghost app on her husband's phone, and convinced him to burn a f*****g house down to get the insurance money. i feel bad for that guy tbh.
#35
They found other people that they consider to be more enjoyable than me
Anna Drever 2 years ago
I had a friend who used me as her backup friend. We were supposed to be besties but if she found someone more exciting she’d put me on the back burner until the other friend wasn’t available. You can only put up with that 💩 for so long.
#36
I stopped being a friend at some point and started being a therapist
Janner Wingfeather 2 years ago
This was me with my roommate this past year, except we were never friends, she just started unloading on me almost immediately. Within a week or two of our first meeting, I knew every detail of her bad relationship with her parents, as well as the weird fetishes their treatment of her had caused her to develop. Plus her car constantly had something wrong with it and she needed me to drive; which of course she never bothered to inform me of with enough time to work around any other obligations I might have. And she rarely cleaned. I graduated four days ago, and I am so, so glad to finally be rid of her.
#37
Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate.
Brenda 2 years ago
Two things I can't stand and refuse to tolerate: stealing and lying, especially when there is no reason for either. Tell me the truth (nicely). I would rather hurt a bit from truth than hurt more from people's lies! If you need money (or whatever), just ask. If I can help, I will. Steal from me and I'll never trust you again. I'm all for 2nd chances in most cases and it takes A LOT for me to not be able to forgive. But those 2 things will do it every time.
#38
They didn't respect the boundaries I had clearly presented before hand
LuLikesGoats They/them 2 years ago
For me it was something similar, I have a friend who would blow up at me for breaking her boundaries but she never established them so I never knew what I was doing wrong so now I have an extreme personality filter around her.
#39
Two friends recently. I'm still processing the s**t out of it in therapy. One of them I met 15 years ago. She was always undermining me and I would follow her everywhere because... Well.. I didn't have much respect for myself and she weaseled her way in my life in ways that were very passionate but also very scary. I was scared of her truthfully for 10 years of those 15 years. I saw her destroy other people's belongings and art projects just because she was vengeful, petty and deeply hated herself. I knew that if I was to take my own courage and cut her out, she would have done horrible things to me, like she did with every single other person in her life. Her stories of throwing away her roommates stuff, her abuse of her exes, her suicidal threats. My last birthday I invited her, she imposed herself to sleep at my house. She had no plans to leave for home. I offered to pay her uber and to help her go back because I felt really unsafe sleeping with this psychopath in my house and she kept trying to NOT LEAVE. It's the last time she was invited to my house. She tried to win me back by getting us Hamilton musical tickets 6 hours away but the fact of having to be all alone with her in a room for two days freaked me the f**k out. I let her have my ticket (she was known to monetarily manipulate people) and I blocked her everywhere. If you're reading this, you f*****g sucked. The other one was more heartbreaking for me, as it was way more sudden. A case of a friend with BPD (lets call her pwBPD for the sake of clarity) who would manipulate and lie all the time. I got fed up when she was always trying to emotionally manipulate me and my other friends to do things for her, lifting her etc.. pwBPD lived another city away from one of my friend at the time we were roommates and she would only do her groceries if that friend would drive her there. It got worst during covid when her new favorite person influenced a lot the worst of her dependant qualities. I brushed off her discarding of me so many times because I knew she was happier with new people but this relationship made her a f*****g child. The last few months of our friendship, pwBPD would get into arguments where she accuse we don't love her enough just because we didn't want to comply to her ridiculous comfort needs. Me and my friends are very generous to each others and bent backward way more than she ever lifted a finger in her life. She got mad one time because we didn't want to pass by the grocery store to get her milk. She lived 5 minutes by walk from a conveniance store. She whined to me that because she hit her head on a counter, she couldn't take the bus and thus we had to drive her if we wanted her there. When we refused to drive 40 minutes, she made us feel bad. When we helped her move into her new appartment, she would only lift little things because she was so -frail- and -fragile- while her mom was puking everywhere on the floor because she had a heatstroke how much she was working. Helping her mom made me realise everyone around her was just bending to pwBPD's princess needs. She made me feel bad for not complying to her ALL THE TIME in retrospective. When me and my other friend from the other town finally told her we couldn't sustain this kind of relationship and blocked pwBPD from our life, my friend from the other town told me a very chilling story concerning me. When they were hanging out a couple of years prior, my grand father had died the day before and I was feeling bummed out at home. My friend from the other town asked me if I wanted to come shopping with them to feel a bit better, pwBPD tried to stop her and told her I would ruin the mood and be a bore. That anecdote kind of sealed the deal of no return for me. She wanted us to be the adults in her very childlike life and offer us a pile of s**t in return. I have a life to make and no friends to parent. I'm angry making this post but I think I had to let it out. Cheers! EDIT: Can I also add that she wanted me to book a week end during her MONTH of moving to another province because she was moving her stuff and didn't want to rent a truck? My fawning people pleasing a*s said yes but I decided to cut her out of my life before that month. I'd say that was one of the small many annoying things that made me not like being around her anymore.
Walter Black Bill 2 years ago
pwBPD might have probably used her mental health problem as an advantage to get what she wants. The first girl might have just been toxic and abusive. I honestly hate both, even though they are girls.
#40
During the pandemic, I got extremely sick, went through a horrible divorce and lost my job. Tried to kill myself after no one even came to my house or tried to help in anyway. I could barely walk at this point from a severe untreated, undiagnosed autoimmune disorder. Starting over now, treated for my illness, employed and doing much better, but I still cannot get over the resentment that my friends and family just weren't there for me at all.
#41
Honestly I started having boundaries and holding myself to a higher level of respect. I don’t have time anymore to be chasing friends when they never reach out. Or if I reach out and say “hey anything planned this weekend?” And they respond 2 months later. Or if they do respond, they just say something like “busy”. Telling myself I deserve better and if people want to be friends, it’s a 2 way relationship.
#42
he didnt trust me that i was literally just platonic friends with his gf because i had recently come out as bisexual so he instantly got major defensive and destroyed our friendship over it 😭
#43
Logical friend started a relationship with a cult member and ended up marrying her. He became part of her cult and denounced violence on TV ("we should not be glorifying violence and murder depictions"), became antivax, and started spreading fake news about our health and environment. We used to play chess together after school hours and he'd beat me 9/10 times. We also used to hang out during the summer and go to his rest house in some mountain region. He finished top 5 in our class and became a double-degree holder for a popular engineering school in the country. He was every bit smarter than I was, but the allure of that cult wiped all of that away. I'm not even sure what the cult was as I argued with him one time and I just blocked him after he started using "I believe" arguments instead of using data.
#44
It started with a simple argument over D&D , but then it got bigger and bigger and pretty soon we were just blowing up and venting all the pent-up nonsense we had been hiding. The next day, after we regrouped, we finally admitted to each other that we hadn't wanted to be friends for awhile, and parted on a bitter note.
#45
I got tired of feeling like I had to walk on eggshells around him. He always felt like he was above me and he treated me as a lesser person. He felt like he had the right to micromanage my life. He'd get upset if I did or say things that he didn't approve of (which basically just meant if it wasn't something he'd do or say). He set rules and expectations for everyone else but we were all just supposed to be okay with it when he didn't follow them himself. Pretty much every time our friend group would hang out he'd end up yelling at me for something or other. It got to the point where if I was supposed to hang out with him I'd get panic attacks. I was always relieved whenever he'd end up not showing up, even though we'd waste an hour or 2 trying and failing to contact him. He even stalked *all* of my social media accounts. He would monitor them for any actively, and if I made any post or comment, he'd immediately be there making stupid, unfunny "jokes" at my expense. He even did that on an old reddit account. He shared everything I did with everyone which included things I wasn't comfortable sharing irl. I ended up nuking that account entirely. During one of his verbal tirades at me I got tired of it and argued back. A few hours later he apologized (which was the first time he'd ever done that in 7 years of friendship) I had had enough. I just decided to slowly withdraw myself from that friend group and stopped talking to him. I've been forced to apologize to him even though he was in the wrong, so directly telling him that I no longer wanted to be friends would've just caused drawn out drama that I didn't have the patience for at that point. I still talk to everyone else in that friend group
#46
He tried to kill me and my family.
#47
Came to my city to visit, she stayed at my place. A few days in we were supposed to go to a museum and she told me she wanted to go alone because she was bothered by me for some reason. Mainly it came down to her being annoyed that I wanted to catch up with her while we saw the city together…. I being hurt took some time to suss out my feelings and then brought it up with her and she didn’t see how what she said was hurtful. She went back to her city and a week later asked me to venmo her $25 for some drinks we had gotten on a night out. For reference she stayed at my apt for several days, I got groceries/materials for her stay, and treated her to dinner one night. I never responded. Good riddance.
Sweet Taurus 2 years ago
It's insane to me how many times I've read/heard of people asking their "friends" to pay back something after a disagreement. Especially in situations like this one where she stayed with the friend and willing went to dinner. The nerve and entitlement of people makes me grateful I don't have friends.
#48
They fell down a rabbit hole and wanted to talk about politics all the time. I asked them to stop but they didn't so I cut them off.
#49
She had such a toxic lifestyle while I lead a calm drama free lifestyle and she would block me every time she told me something she’s going through and would ask about me and I wouldn’t have a similar situation. We finished high school and it felt she was still there with the constant problems she was in. Growing up I knew our friendship wouldn’t go anywhere because how much of a jealous person she was. Another friendship fizzled out because she would always trauma dump on me and every time I was in her state I would ask to hang out and even offer transportation and kid friendly activities (4 kids all at the age of 20) and she would say yes and never hit me up and then give me excuses so I told her I was no longer interested in having a friendship with someone who only wanted to keep me around to complain to. I wish them both well honestly.
#50
Well, I’ll keep this short and sweet, I hope. The friend was generally really mean and would exclude me in everything, steal my food, tell me to wait for her and leave me alone for a few hours, and try to take all my friends away. She was the first friend I had ever made, so it was hard to just end the 6 year friendship (I know that sounds short- It was primary school ok.) Anyways, she also liked to steal my things, and when I borrowed something from her and then gave it back to her, she accused me of never giving it back, for two years straight. She was moving away and she gave all my friends little gifts, for me she had just gifted all the things she stole back to me. I was just confused as hell. I guess the answer to this for me would just be: moving away. (Why did this end up turning into a rant- I’m sorry if this is something entirely different to what op asked :p )
#51
The disrespect of my personal space. It was a apparently a federal crime to get in their personal space but my personal space didn’t exist.
#52
She was a major f*****g homewrecker. I used to turn a blind eye but it just got worse. She was always narcissistic but it was getting to be too much to handle. On top of her terrible anxiety from always looking behind her back since she was paranoid all the time from being the mistress. Proceeds to stalk wives, families, and her exes. She was constantly making drama for herself. After I got married myself she got even MORE worse because I wasn't making her a priority over my husband. She was being particularly b****y one day, we got in a huge argument. I'm glad that now she's just an insane crazy story i get to tell people lmao.
#53
She started drinking from the “I’m black and can’t be racist” koolaid and began treating everyone else like s**t.
#54
We were friends in high school and when I went to college she was one of the few who went to the same college as me and we had a class together. She wouldn’t stop talking s**t about my girlfriend who I had got together with in Year 10 of high school. One day, one b****y comment too many and I actively said I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Haven’t spoken ever since.
#56
Kept trying to f**k my sister
smugdruggler 2 years ago
How is that not her business? Unless she asked for intervention, mind your own.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
In college a good friend refused to introduce me to his older sister. When I asked him why, he said "Because you'll f**k her". I had to laugh. I had seen her picture, and I was no way in her class.
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
If you’re friends with someone, you should probably trust them with your sister
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#57
I struggled with alcohol dependence and proceeded to blow up the best friend group I've had. I'm alone now.
#58
We were playing scrabble and she tried to put "jetsfly" down as a word. Also last conversation we had, she started crying because I told her I got a booster. Lol she was dumb as dumb gets.
#59
I couldn’t deal with their spiraling mental health issues. We were very tight and I thought we would be lifelong friends. About two years before I bounced they got very sick and it impacted their ability to make good choices for themselves. It also made them belligerent and angry. There were days I would pick up the phone and they’d already be screaming about something. No hello or anything, just screaming. They stopped getting my jokes. One day they were telling me about yet another interaction where they were “disrespected” and something just kind of snapped. I said I was totally unplugging and would be unavailable for a few months, then just never reached out again. I feel guilty because I know it was out of their control, but I was literally feeling such intense anxiety whenever they rang and it was time to put myself first.
Karl 2 years ago
It’s difficult when someone puts all their failings on others when the truth of the matter is that much of it is down to their own s****y attitudes and behaviour. One ex-friend became unstickable for this very reason. I just got tired of hearing angry tirade after tirade about their perceived injustices when it was clear it was their own fault.
#60
I asked her to pray for me for a situation. Her response was to tell me that I only contact her when I need something from her. Previous month I asked if she wanted to get coffee to catch up and she declined saying that she’s very busy snd to just contact her when I need something urgent. Friendship was dying, she was the type to show up 30 minutes late without apology and then get prissy if you already ordered your food. Found out that basically all her friends dumped her after a few years after finding her exhausting, and that she would talk s**t behind everyone’s back
#61
Years of emotional abuse, her using me, being jealous of me and trying to control who I talk to/hang out with, always had something negative to say about who I dated and my other friends.. she burned so many bridges I had with other people until it was just her in my life, realised it a bit too late but felt a huge weight off my shoulder when I cut her off!
#62
She got into h****n while I got into a master's program. It broke my heart. I would have done everything for that person, but she kept stealing from me. I had to let her go. I blocked her from everything, but I still look her up to make sure she's not dead.
#63
I realised they were actually a horrible person, Haha well, a manipulative liar, at least
Michael Largey 2 years ago
My friend had a girlfriend who adored him and had given up everything for him - both career and family. While she was out of town, he wanted me to help him cheat on her. When I refused, he cut me out of his life and told his girlfriend and our other friends vicious lies about me to justify the break. I could have told her the truth, but I couldn't dump that much pain on her.
#64
I got ghosted by two of them for standing up for myself after being ignored. And the other two pushed me away by just acting like passive aggressive bullies and generally just being a******s towards me
#65
She declaired that i was her best friend then would find opportunities to isolate me and tell me i was a disappointment
#66
I don't know what the reason is, but it usually happens in 3 phases: - They stop making plans involving me, when I want to be a part I need to be the one making the plan. - They start making excuses so they can avoid me - They ghost me
#67
A violent hate crime fuelled by alcoholism. Poor guy was a drunk at 19 and I just couldn’t help him or keep getting involved in his b******t. He’s in prison now.
#69
They had kids and made being a “parent” their whole personality and identity. We could not hold a meaningful conversation without it being about their kids, child rearing, or parenting.
#70
We lived a few hours apart and this friend was never that responsive to begin with. I have better friends now and started a relationship, and eventually moved across country. Combining all those factors and oops, we haven't kept touch in years. I guess I would still consider them a friend, we're still on good terms, but we simply haven't spoken in a long time and I no longer go out of my way to try to keep up with their life.
What do you think ?
UpupaEpops 2 years ago
She started mocking my native language and calling it ugly. I don't care what it sounds to you, I too have languages that I prefer over others. But under no circumstances are you to EVER mock another person's language or culture. Not on my watch.
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
I was in a nasty car accident that tore the whole rear end of the car off, and needed a few days to myself to decompress because my anxiety was at its absolute worst (it was before I was medicated). She acted like it was the worst thing ever and blocked me on everything because I didn't sign on to say hi--even though I told her I needed time to myself.
Kristal 2 years ago
We were basically sisters. I literally held her father's hand while he was dying. We have been best friends since high school. In 15 years our lives separated because of moving and such but we were still always in contact. The first odd thing was that she forgot I was the first person she came out to (she told me she is a lesbian). I was so happy for her cause she's been unhappy not having a special someone and now she can finally find one. Then, as my now ex-fiance was emotionally abusing me (which I confided in her about), she decides to accuse me of all kinds of things, throwing the abuse in my face, and never admitted when she was wrong after I was able to prove her inaccuracies. This happened after going to a festival together and I realized she was just like as she was in high school ... she was mid 30s and she hadn't matured one bit. I figured we would just kind of drift apart until she did that. She projected a lot of insecurities and it was just sad.
MaryHadaLittleLamb 2 years ago
My best friend of over 15 years was like a sister to me... until she slept with my husband. She was married, too, and had a small child. I divorced him and never talked to her again. Her betrayal hurt worse than his. I still think about her, though, and I hope she's worked through her issues.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
I'm glad I was finally able to admit that I was largely the toxic friend. As much as I loved them, I realized the best thing I could do for people I considered my friends and people I cared about was to disappear and get out of their way. I hope life has been kind to them.
Brandon Parisien 2 years ago
They began bullying and threatening me ....I really want to name them publicly as everyone seems to think the sun shines out their asses. They drove me to becoming suicidal, real great people. Class reunion is this summer in Ottawa....
Barbara Forshee 2 years ago
My bestie of 30 years or more joined a church and decided she didn't need anybody but the members there and her immediate family. She didn't want to associate with me any more. She left her husband for no good reason and I didn't go along with it. So she decided to leave me out of her family I thought I was a part of.
Talitha Jansen 2 years ago
My best friend back then decided money was more important. I came to her birthday with my dogs after I had asked her. She told me to keep them leashed but her dogs were roaming around freely. Her dog attacked mine and mine was badly injured with his eye hanging out. A friend of hers got me to the vet, it was the weekend and late so it cost me a lot of money. He had to have a second surgery to remove the eye too. I asked her to help me cover the bill since it was her dog who attacked mine, by getting our insurance involved. And she didn't want to because then she'd have to pay a couple bucks more a month to the insurance. I still filed a claim because she was in the wrong but she lied to the insurance company. She told them that I hadn't asked her to bring my dogs, making me the one in the wrong. I had to loan money from someone to pay for the vet bills and our friendship was over. We lived near and saw each other daily before, and yet that didn't matter.
Annie 2 years ago
I (F) had been friends with her since 3rd grade, but in my 20s I finally realized that she was nothing but a shallow, self-centered snob. The last time we spoke, both she & her dad (who I considered a 2nd father) seemed annoyed or bothered by my phone call - I could almost hear their eyes rolling. Never contacted either of them ever again.
UpupaEpops 2 years ago
She started mocking my native language and calling it ugly. I don't care what it sounds to you, I too have languages that I prefer over others. But under no circumstances are you to EVER mock another person's language or culture. Not on my watch.
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
I was in a nasty car accident that tore the whole rear end of the car off, and needed a few days to myself to decompress because my anxiety was at its absolute worst (it was before I was medicated). She acted like it was the worst thing ever and blocked me on everything because I didn't sign on to say hi--even though I told her I needed time to myself.
Kristal 2 years ago
We were basically sisters. I literally held her father's hand while he was dying. We have been best friends since high school. In 15 years our lives separated because of moving and such but we were still always in contact. The first odd thing was that she forgot I was the first person she came out to (she told me she is a lesbian). I was so happy for her cause she's been unhappy not having a special someone and now she can finally find one. Then, as my now ex-fiance was emotionally abusing me (which I confided in her about), she decides to accuse me of all kinds of things, throwing the abuse in my face, and never admitted when she was wrong after I was able to prove her inaccuracies. This happened after going to a festival together and I realized she was just like as she was in high school ... she was mid 30s and she hadn't matured one bit. I figured we would just kind of drift apart until she did that. She projected a lot of insecurities and it was just sad.
MaryHadaLittleLamb 2 years ago
My best friend of over 15 years was like a sister to me... until she slept with my husband. She was married, too, and had a small child. I divorced him and never talked to her again. Her betrayal hurt worse than his. I still think about her, though, and I hope she's worked through her issues.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
I'm glad I was finally able to admit that I was largely the toxic friend. As much as I loved them, I realized the best thing I could do for people I considered my friends and people I cared about was to disappear and get out of their way. I hope life has been kind to them.
Brandon Parisien 2 years ago
They began bullying and threatening me ....I really want to name them publicly as everyone seems to think the sun shines out their asses. They drove me to becoming suicidal, real great people. Class reunion is this summer in Ottawa....
Barbara Forshee 2 years ago
My bestie of 30 years or more joined a church and decided she didn't need anybody but the members there and her immediate family. She didn't want to associate with me any more. She left her husband for no good reason and I didn't go along with it. So she decided to leave me out of her family I thought I was a part of.
Talitha Jansen 2 years ago
My best friend back then decided money was more important. I came to her birthday with my dogs after I had asked her. She told me to keep them leashed but her dogs were roaming around freely. Her dog attacked mine and mine was badly injured with his eye hanging out. A friend of hers got me to the vet, it was the weekend and late so it cost me a lot of money. He had to have a second surgery to remove the eye too. I asked her to help me cover the bill since it was her dog who attacked mine, by getting our insurance involved. And she didn't want to because then she'd have to pay a couple bucks more a month to the insurance. I still filed a claim because she was in the wrong but she lied to the insurance company. She told them that I hadn't asked her to bring my dogs, making me the one in the wrong. I had to loan money from someone to pay for the vet bills and our friendship was over. We lived near and saw each other daily before, and yet that didn't matter.
Annie 2 years ago
I (F) had been friends with her since 3rd grade, but in my 20s I finally realized that she was nothing but a shallow, self-centered snob. The last time we spoke, both she & her dad (who I considered a 2nd father) seemed annoyed or bothered by my phone call - I could almost hear their eyes rolling. Never contacted either of them ever again.
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