These 30 Women Shared Their Experience With Dating Apps And What Counts As A Red Flag
Throughout all of history, dating has always been a difficult thing. However, with the advent of modern technology, dating has become even more confusing despite the fact that now all it takes to go on a first date with someone is a few swipes and clicks on your phone. But if you think that means that every date is going to involve romantic hand-holding, gazing into each other’s eyes, and drinking hot cocoa while watching snowflakes swirl outside your window, you’re wrong.
Dating apps have made the dating landscape very difficult to navigate and some people end up having bad experiences. Fortunately, the women of Twitter have banded together and compiled a list of some of the best dating app red flags—things that let you know that a certain person is probably best avoided.
Scroll down, upvote your fave tips, and share them with your friends. Let everyone know in the comments if you have any other pieces of advice about what counts as a red flag on dating apps!
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Women started pouring their hearts out and sharing their personal red flags with the internet after Beth McColl posted her personal tips on whom to avoid based on their bios and behavior. A lot of women focused on explaining what certain phrases that people post on their bios actually mean from their experience.
Whether we love them or loathe them, dating apps have turned dating into a whole other beast. Some people use apps like Tinder for finding long-term relationships and you wouldn’t believe how many of my friends have gone on just one date and then settled down with that person, moving in together after just a few months. It’s the last thing you’d expect from Tinder.
What? This is a huge generalization. First of all, some people just hate talking about politics and political parties. Second of all, it is not every guy's chief aim with dating to "get laid".
While others have been using online dating so much that they’ve got what’s known as dating app fatigue. More and more people are relying on the internet to help meet potential dates, so there’s less of a feeling that you’re taking a risk and making a genuine connection when compared to asking someone out in real life.
Dear Pandas, what do you think of dating apps? Do you have any advice for people who are new to online dating? Do you prefer asking someone out in real life or over the internet? Share your thoughts with all the other readers.
I think any real women is literal, there are like 3 to 1 fake profiles for females in these sites. Plus the real women respond less. So you're actually not sure if the're real profiles
The long list always describes a woman who only exists in his fantasies and never in any reality—-and of course his appearance shouldn’t matter. Get a sex doll, incel, and leave real women alone.
hhh my god my biggest dating app pet hate XD A child can't consent to their photos appearing on a dating app, if I grew up then learnt my uncle/aunt had a photo with me on a dating app I'd be pretty hacked off. Lots of weirdos out there, keep kids off your dating photos pls D: D: D: auto no from me
I'm at Argentina now and you should see an amount of pics with babies on tinder. They love kids and they are very proud of them. But i am very sad about moms of these kids, who doesn't know that her bf/husband are using a pic of their newborn to get laid.
That is absolutely disgusting post. What if a woman posted a picture with a child ? Then it is considered absolutely acceptable and shows shew is a good mum/aunt/good with kids.if a man does the same you already think there is something wrong with him? That speaks more about you than him!
GO SEXISM GO! F*****g b***h. It's disgusting that men have to explain that children are their niece, nephew, adopted child, he'll I recall this disgusting story where police caught a man cause he was with his young daughter and she took after the mother but it was a interracial marriage so she wasn't white like her dad mother was spanish
Why is sarcasm a flag? I see women with that in their bio quite often
LOL, one of my date's profile photos were at least 10 years old, judging by the difference in hair and weight when I met him IRL. When I declined a second date he accused me of not being genuine. Look in the mirror, buddy.
Ana J, she's talking about her OWN experiences on Tinder and sharing. Not assuming to talk about things you've been through.
This one does sound bitter, but dating apps do have a lot uninteresting small talk happening in them.
Well, its kind of rude about profile pics and i bet he just copied that from somewhere but he is right. Picture must be real. You don't want to spend an evening with a man who is obviously dissapointed that your look is very different from your pics.
Disagree. I am not mean, but very sarcastic. There is a huge difference. I mean, a lot of the comments I put on BP are sarcastic! (and I note them as such).
what's wrong with looking for the pam to my jim besides the fact that no one will ever live up to jim halpert
I think it's good to say you're not politically involved right off the bat. That way those who are very involved can avoid a bad date.
Polyamori 🙄. Said by a guy whose wife had given birth 6 months ago. Gulped my beer and left.
It's good to be honest what you're looking for. Not everyone is interested in sex with a stranger. Not everyone is looking for a relationship either.
There's nothing wrong with this one. It just means you want to find someone with similar interests. It's a common phrase.
A lot of people in this list need to learn that just because you personally dislike something doesn't mean it's a "red flag" and wrong.
While I agree all of these behaviors are obnoxious, I do have to say that I've seen a version of almost every one of these entries in a lot of women's profiles.
Agreed, once I registered as a guy to see my competition, scary.
Load More Replies...I've been on Tinder for a year and an half before quitting, tried everything, got three unremarkable dates with two different ladies. The only way to win at this game is not to play
Giovanni, I'm sorry your experiences with online dating have been bad and I really hope you find what you're looking for!
Load More Replies...Some of these red flags are legitimate red flags and others just sound like the woman is looking for an excuse to be upset about something. I used to do dating apps but don't anymore. However, I don't find anything wrong with them. The whole thing that everyone needs to remember on dating apps is to just be careful and be safe.
Talking about the ex (or exes) in the very first dates. Hmm....no.
Thank God i got married long before all this online and texting bs. If he dies...thats it im gonna become that weird cat lady.
I thought that this could be a fun post, but after going through the first ones I really felt sorry for those who get made fun of as "red flags". Even the intro is so entirely wrong in my opinion: I want someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously = I will treat you carelessly and tell you to lighten up. <<< THAT IS SO WRONG. There is a quote that I love and it says: the graveyards of these world, are filled with people who believed they are irreplaceable. I went through a lot of s**t in my life and I value my strength in not giving a s**t about anything and being depressed because life hands me lemons. So I would wipe right reading that someone wants someone who doesn't take himself too serious. I mean look at most people on Tinder or in SoMe in general. They are in love with their fake-selves. They are driven by the wish to be seen and worshipped and they believe that just because 25k people follow them, they are better people. Nobody likes to be lonely.
And we live in a society where nobody knows what is going on anymore. Where you have to be a feminist on side, but man up on the other. We can't approach women anymore and flirt, because it is sexist. Unless we are hot and the woman is interested. It's like everyone creates his own rules, his own red flags and then we go into battle against each other. Me too, f**k you, lets f**k, not you.... s**t got confusing. And you are dismissing people on s**t you are interpreting in their profiles. Not everyone is funny and witty. Not everyone is a douche. Some are new to this, even when they are signed in at Tinder for years already. Maybe they still havnt figured out. But does this mean they are bad people? Be serious... In the end it depends on how attracted you are to someone on the first view. The rest ist just depending on that. One guy will write something really sexy and you will swipe right because he is hot. The other will write the same, but he is not your type and now he is a creep
Load More Replies...Ive seen women do 1/3 of these flags and some others not listed. Can we talk about that?
Incredible. Found a man who doesn't talk about sex - directly or innuends. No unwanted nude pictures or questions about sexual compatibility -- I like sex with men is all you need to know. He is a good person, but only wants to be friends. He lost interest in dating after a few weeks online. Dating sites seem to attract an unusually high number of jerks. They bring out the worst in the rest of us. Usually I have had enough after a few weeks, then try again in six months.
Well, if you're a guy having trouble connecting with women in dating apps, take the advice in this thread to heart. Work on your profile, and be positive and specific in your messaging when you do match. Use nice and realistic photos where you seem happy, use positive language, and tell and show us why you are desirable. Looks don't matter too much, and a great smile will really help grab our interest. Post photos taken by someone else, not just selfies you took in the car or the bathroom. Be honest and interesting. If you don't have hobbies, take up some new hobbies. If you say you like the beach, show me that you are motivated to go to the beach on your own or with friends.
Adding on that, never start the conversation with "hi" or "what's up", remember that she's messagging other 50 guys, you have to stand out in the crowd, look at her photos find a conversation hook and try to be interesting, write ASAP when you match and write back ASAP when she responds or your messages will be buried. For the same reason you'll have to carry the conversation, she's not gonna put 100% of her attention on each of the 10 matches she had that morning. It's an hard work and it doesn't pay as it should but the only way to have a chance is this.
Load More Replies...Online dating is an interesting beast. I'd love to see the effort evened out a bit. A guy can go a year with an empty inbox unless he's out there sending messages every day. A lady will likely wake up to 3 or 4 messages a day. I get that men are expected to do all the chasing and put forth effort but... Come on. We want to feel wanted, too lol
I can't imagine having to spend any amount of time with a lot of these haters and complainers.
To be fair, I think people who take photos with young nephews or nieces are usually just trying to say, "I am good with children" or "I have a family, I'm not alone". As for the guy in the comments who declares a woman has "no right" to know what a man does for a living or how much he makes until they're married - how much do you want to bet that incel has a list of demands of "acceptable" women that's a yard long?
I live on a small Mediterranean island. The men on Tinder/Bumble here are all in tiny teeny speedos on their photos and all look kind of slimey. The ONLY man around my age with similar interests, sense of humour and sounded like a good guy was...MY BROTHER! I deleted the apps.
While some of those are spot on, a lot are also filled with prejudice. #Notaredflag #Judgmental
I learned my lesson meeting women on the internet in the late 90s and things have only gone down hill since
I didn't know old women over 90 could use the internet
Load More Replies...Hey! What do you think about dating sites for marriage or dating like that https://topforeignbrides.com/?
Thank you for your article. What do you think about dating sites for marriage or dating like that https://topforeignbrides.com/?
Such a great article! I love online dating most and meet Filipina girls! Has anyone here tried the free Filipina dating site Filipino4U c o m? I've heard great things about them. I'm also looking for any other legitimate totally free Asian sites, any suggestions?
I have met a few who looked NOTHING LIKE their pictures. They didn't look terrible but the fact they were willing to lie about something so obvious as what they looked like was enough for me, I'm out! Oh, and why would you bother lying about your HEIGHT?? Firstly, I don't care what height you are and secondly I WILL notice you have lied, same rules apply - I'm out..
Many of these are not gender specific or hetero specific. Gay dating apps and sites are ripe with many of these and more.
The thing about dating sites is that they're really only good for hookups. I mean think about it we use random information to try to figure out who we're going to be compatible in a long-term relationship with it doesn't make logical sense. No one really has a method to do that out of all relationships I'd say probably a thousandth of a percent continue happily ever after. It's an insignificant amount. Most people are in their most prestigious hookup into a long-term relationship which eventually ends in divorce and disaster. We need a different approach to find real long-term viability an approach I've never heard of and probably doesn't exist right now.
I wrote my Ph.D. dissertation on first blind dates and chemistry, several years ago. Surveyed over 100 people on the topic and asked many questions with a 15-page survey including open ended questions. Connection is difficult and elusive for both men and women and many people are on dating sites for years.
Pretty much all of these are f*****g stupid and the poster is an a*****e or has no humor. Also dating online is far far harder for men then women. Men have every right to be upset at females having no communication. Nothing more annoying then talking to a b***h and being polite and pretty much holding the entire "conversation" if it ever starts or worse you talk and then they never reply back even though it says they looked and saw the message. Putting something or freaking anything into the profile would show you even give the slightest of f***s. Not much to open with when all you have to work with is picture almost the exact same image with only a different person doing something "cute", a selfie and a pet :/
There are three categories that take 90% of the female user base: -Bots advertising cam shows: Skimpy clothes profile pic + link in the bio and usually writes first. -People who are farming instagram followers: Skimpy clothes profile pic and instagram profile in the bio. -Girls who created a profile as a joke: super generic photos, no bio and they don't reply nor match. - They come in handy to fill your 40% expected rejection quota so that the algorithm doesn't think that you are a bot.
Load More Replies...When a man wrote you on dating site "Can i have a question".... Just Block him!!!! Block him and never said yes!... Because He would ask you about the lenght of his D, and even send you a picture of it.... Like... I dont get it, is there really a woman who will sleep with such man after that?....
One guy opened with "can I ask you a question" and it turned out to be "Are you REALLY Jewish?" 😂
Load More Replies...A lot of people in this list need to learn that just because you personally dislike something doesn't mean it's a "red flag" and wrong.
While I agree all of these behaviors are obnoxious, I do have to say that I've seen a version of almost every one of these entries in a lot of women's profiles.
Agreed, once I registered as a guy to see my competition, scary.
Load More Replies...I've been on Tinder for a year and an half before quitting, tried everything, got three unremarkable dates with two different ladies. The only way to win at this game is not to play
Giovanni, I'm sorry your experiences with online dating have been bad and I really hope you find what you're looking for!
Load More Replies...Some of these red flags are legitimate red flags and others just sound like the woman is looking for an excuse to be upset about something. I used to do dating apps but don't anymore. However, I don't find anything wrong with them. The whole thing that everyone needs to remember on dating apps is to just be careful and be safe.
Talking about the ex (or exes) in the very first dates. Hmm....no.
Thank God i got married long before all this online and texting bs. If he dies...thats it im gonna become that weird cat lady.
I thought that this could be a fun post, but after going through the first ones I really felt sorry for those who get made fun of as "red flags". Even the intro is so entirely wrong in my opinion: I want someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously = I will treat you carelessly and tell you to lighten up. <<< THAT IS SO WRONG. There is a quote that I love and it says: the graveyards of these world, are filled with people who believed they are irreplaceable. I went through a lot of s**t in my life and I value my strength in not giving a s**t about anything and being depressed because life hands me lemons. So I would wipe right reading that someone wants someone who doesn't take himself too serious. I mean look at most people on Tinder or in SoMe in general. They are in love with their fake-selves. They are driven by the wish to be seen and worshipped and they believe that just because 25k people follow them, they are better people. Nobody likes to be lonely.
And we live in a society where nobody knows what is going on anymore. Where you have to be a feminist on side, but man up on the other. We can't approach women anymore and flirt, because it is sexist. Unless we are hot and the woman is interested. It's like everyone creates his own rules, his own red flags and then we go into battle against each other. Me too, f**k you, lets f**k, not you.... s**t got confusing. And you are dismissing people on s**t you are interpreting in their profiles. Not everyone is funny and witty. Not everyone is a douche. Some are new to this, even when they are signed in at Tinder for years already. Maybe they still havnt figured out. But does this mean they are bad people? Be serious... In the end it depends on how attracted you are to someone on the first view. The rest ist just depending on that. One guy will write something really sexy and you will swipe right because he is hot. The other will write the same, but he is not your type and now he is a creep
Load More Replies...Ive seen women do 1/3 of these flags and some others not listed. Can we talk about that?
Incredible. Found a man who doesn't talk about sex - directly or innuends. No unwanted nude pictures or questions about sexual compatibility -- I like sex with men is all you need to know. He is a good person, but only wants to be friends. He lost interest in dating after a few weeks online. Dating sites seem to attract an unusually high number of jerks. They bring out the worst in the rest of us. Usually I have had enough after a few weeks, then try again in six months.
Well, if you're a guy having trouble connecting with women in dating apps, take the advice in this thread to heart. Work on your profile, and be positive and specific in your messaging when you do match. Use nice and realistic photos where you seem happy, use positive language, and tell and show us why you are desirable. Looks don't matter too much, and a great smile will really help grab our interest. Post photos taken by someone else, not just selfies you took in the car or the bathroom. Be honest and interesting. If you don't have hobbies, take up some new hobbies. If you say you like the beach, show me that you are motivated to go to the beach on your own or with friends.
Adding on that, never start the conversation with "hi" or "what's up", remember that she's messagging other 50 guys, you have to stand out in the crowd, look at her photos find a conversation hook and try to be interesting, write ASAP when you match and write back ASAP when she responds or your messages will be buried. For the same reason you'll have to carry the conversation, she's not gonna put 100% of her attention on each of the 10 matches she had that morning. It's an hard work and it doesn't pay as it should but the only way to have a chance is this.
Load More Replies...Online dating is an interesting beast. I'd love to see the effort evened out a bit. A guy can go a year with an empty inbox unless he's out there sending messages every day. A lady will likely wake up to 3 or 4 messages a day. I get that men are expected to do all the chasing and put forth effort but... Come on. We want to feel wanted, too lol
I can't imagine having to spend any amount of time with a lot of these haters and complainers.
To be fair, I think people who take photos with young nephews or nieces are usually just trying to say, "I am good with children" or "I have a family, I'm not alone". As for the guy in the comments who declares a woman has "no right" to know what a man does for a living or how much he makes until they're married - how much do you want to bet that incel has a list of demands of "acceptable" women that's a yard long?
I live on a small Mediterranean island. The men on Tinder/Bumble here are all in tiny teeny speedos on their photos and all look kind of slimey. The ONLY man around my age with similar interests, sense of humour and sounded like a good guy was...MY BROTHER! I deleted the apps.
While some of those are spot on, a lot are also filled with prejudice. #Notaredflag #Judgmental
I learned my lesson meeting women on the internet in the late 90s and things have only gone down hill since
I didn't know old women over 90 could use the internet
Load More Replies...Hey! What do you think about dating sites for marriage or dating like that https://topforeignbrides.com/?
Thank you for your article. What do you think about dating sites for marriage or dating like that https://topforeignbrides.com/?
Such a great article! I love online dating most and meet Filipina girls! Has anyone here tried the free Filipina dating site Filipino4U c o m? I've heard great things about them. I'm also looking for any other legitimate totally free Asian sites, any suggestions?
I have met a few who looked NOTHING LIKE their pictures. They didn't look terrible but the fact they were willing to lie about something so obvious as what they looked like was enough for me, I'm out! Oh, and why would you bother lying about your HEIGHT?? Firstly, I don't care what height you are and secondly I WILL notice you have lied, same rules apply - I'm out..
Many of these are not gender specific or hetero specific. Gay dating apps and sites are ripe with many of these and more.
The thing about dating sites is that they're really only good for hookups. I mean think about it we use random information to try to figure out who we're going to be compatible in a long-term relationship with it doesn't make logical sense. No one really has a method to do that out of all relationships I'd say probably a thousandth of a percent continue happily ever after. It's an insignificant amount. Most people are in their most prestigious hookup into a long-term relationship which eventually ends in divorce and disaster. We need a different approach to find real long-term viability an approach I've never heard of and probably doesn't exist right now.
I wrote my Ph.D. dissertation on first blind dates and chemistry, several years ago. Surveyed over 100 people on the topic and asked many questions with a 15-page survey including open ended questions. Connection is difficult and elusive for both men and women and many people are on dating sites for years.
Pretty much all of these are f*****g stupid and the poster is an a*****e or has no humor. Also dating online is far far harder for men then women. Men have every right to be upset at females having no communication. Nothing more annoying then talking to a b***h and being polite and pretty much holding the entire "conversation" if it ever starts or worse you talk and then they never reply back even though it says they looked and saw the message. Putting something or freaking anything into the profile would show you even give the slightest of f***s. Not much to open with when all you have to work with is picture almost the exact same image with only a different person doing something "cute", a selfie and a pet :/
There are three categories that take 90% of the female user base: -Bots advertising cam shows: Skimpy clothes profile pic + link in the bio and usually writes first. -People who are farming instagram followers: Skimpy clothes profile pic and instagram profile in the bio. -Girls who created a profile as a joke: super generic photos, no bio and they don't reply nor match. - They come in handy to fill your 40% expected rejection quota so that the algorithm doesn't think that you are a bot.
Load More Replies...When a man wrote you on dating site "Can i have a question".... Just Block him!!!! Block him and never said yes!... Because He would ask you about the lenght of his D, and even send you a picture of it.... Like... I dont get it, is there really a woman who will sleep with such man after that?....
One guy opened with "can I ask you a question" and it turned out to be "Are you REALLY Jewish?" 😂
Load More Replies...