“You might be ableist if…” is a new hashtag where people with disabilities are sharing the comments, from dismissive advice to backhanded compliments, that frustrate them the most and reflect a broader lack of understanding and discomfort with accepting disability as a normal part of life.

Many of them could probably be described as microaggressions, defined as usually subtle and unintentional expressions of prejudice. Like the name suggests, microaggressions are minor and could just be annoyances on their own, but facing a constant stream of them will eventually make you want to rip your hair out. So if your first reaction to seeing someone share theirs is to think they're overreacting, or to feel like you are being personally attacked for something you've said without intending any harm, take a minute and think about why it would wear people out to hear sentiments similar to these on a daily basis.

#1

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

adillon845 Report

Hocus Pocus
Community Member
11 months ago

This applies to anything that was made specifically for disabled people.

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#2

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

hathatsgayyy Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
11 months ago

Recognizing someone for taking a teen with disabilities to prom is not being an Ableist. When my autistic son's school decided to give him the special task of being part of the football staff, there was a lot of congratulations and thank you's to the football team for including him. My son was being bullied and harassed at school. Once it was openly recognized that he was a member of the football team and that the players had his back, the bullies backed off. It's not a crime to recognize someone for treating your child like any other human being because it happens so rarely, it's necessary to showcase it to show others..people with disabilities deserve to be treated like anyone else. I just wish these gestures were more contagious.

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#3

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

DozingDreamers Report

Ellis
Community Member
11 months ago

THIS! 👏🏻

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For one thing, people are tired of not being treated as the authority on their own bodies and experiences. We hope this is obvious, but someone with a chronic illness or a disability is inevitably going to know a lot more about it than someone without—they’re the one who has to talk to doctors about it in detail and try different methods for managing it, so they’ve probably already tried doing some stretches.

#4

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

MorgaineCoonCat Report

Batty
Community Member
11 months ago (edited)

I'm too young to have multiple sclerosis, apparently. The typical age of onset is between 20-50 years so of course I don't have it. /sarcasm

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#5

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

ignicrios Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
11 months ago

I had a woman say this to me. She said I wasn't disabled so I should stay out of the handicapped bathroom stall. I told her that my medical conditions were none of her business, but since she brought it up. I fractured a vertebrae in my lower back and it never healed quite right. Sometimes it causes a muscle spasm to rip through my back causing me to stiffen up. Being able to use the handicapped railings to help me up and down from a sitting position avoids the spasms because I'm using my arms and legs, not my back and abdomen muscles. So yes, I do need the handicapped stall until they start putting railings in every stall.

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#6

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

DovZeller Report

Batty
Community Member
11 months ago

I'm a part-time wheelchair user & get called "Fake Cripple" because I can walk :')

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Along similar lines, seeing somebody once doesn’t tell you everything there is to know about their circumstances. Somebody who can walk but sometimes uses a wheelchair might need to avoid more serious symptoms caused by walking, and using a wheelchair gives them more freedom of movement than the limited amount that they can walk.

On the other side of the coin, just because somebody doesn’t seem to require supports when you meet them doesn’t mean that they have no significant disability and appearing “normal” isn’t a challenge in itself.

#7

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

Alexa_Destria Report

Demi Zwaan
Community Member
11 months ago

Also not ableist, people do this to everyone about everything.

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#8

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

Burssty Report

Carol Lewis
Community Member
11 months ago

My family was convinced my childhood anxiety, depression, inability to concentrate and hyperness was because I was the youngest and mom spoiled me. Even the school jumped on that. In the 60's. Such fun to have intense criticism and no support. My parents did their best.

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#9

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

4WheelWorkOut Report

Rose the Cook
Community Member
11 months ago

If a person is capable of doing the particular job they should be paid the full legal wage.

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#10

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

losingminddaily Report

Mama Panda
Community Member
11 months ago

I had no idea how many armchair doctors there were until I became disabled. It blows me away at not only their "solutions" but to their diagnoses as well.

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#11

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

helenrottier Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
11 months ago

Can you define what you mean about scapegoat? Not all homeless people have psychiatric disabilities and not everyone with psychiatric disabilities are homeless. But the statistics show that many people that ARE homeless have some form of mental disability. Some of the homeless people I've encountered are individuals dealing with PTSD, drug addiction, schizophrenia, or debilitating phobias. Aside from the drug addicts, many of them choose to be homeless because they feel safer there...that they won't hurt anyone. That perception is the fault of our government not taking mental health seriously enough to provide free services to anyone who needs it. We're not using them as scapegoats. We are saying that they need to be taken seriously and that the government needs to get off it's collective asses and take care of them because they do have disabilities.

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#12

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

haleymossart Report

Batty
Community Member
11 months ago

How many diversity points do I get? I'm disabled, trans, & gay.

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#13

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

blkgirllostkeys Report

Ellen Turner
Community Member
11 months ago

a NURSE at a special ed boarding school literally said "we all have depression".

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#14

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

franrambles Report

#15

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

RolliFraeulein Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
11 months ago

Vouch for this. There is a restaurant in my town that says it supports Vets. Yet the only two handicapped parking spots have a loading area that's being blocked by a bike rack. The only ramp to get up on the walkway that leads to the entrance to the business is all the way in the rear of the establishment so people in wheelchairs have to travel all the way around the building to get inside. I've pointed this out to the owner and he just shrugs his shoulders and said "Oh Well."

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#16

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

Wontontongirl Report

Alethia Nyx
Community Member
11 months ago

The area where my mother lives is like this. Maybe half the streets have footpaths (or sidewalks, Aussie here), only on one side of the street though and the streets aren't wide enough for peoples visitors to park on the road, so they have to park on the nature-strip. There are also some asshats around who park over the few footpaths there are. So a lot of the time disabled, low mobility, people with prams and kids on bikes etc. have to walk, or ride on the roads. It's just plain greed from the planners, wanting to fit in as many houses as possible to get the most money.

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#17

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

becomingcliche Report

earringnut
Community Member
11 months ago

This, oh my god, this.

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#18

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

williams_madd Report

Sadia Timmermans
Community Member
11 months ago

I get it, but also not. I also am in awe of people with disabillity's just living their life because it's not always easy to just live your life with a disabillity. Going shopping, just random douchebags on the street, the lack of ramps if you can't do stairs, the people who give you compliments for being So "brave",... So being able to just be you and not filled with angry and bad feelings? Well done I say!

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#19

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

4WheelWorkOut Report

How Terribly Unfortunate
Community Member
11 months ago

People complaining about this are just utterly unfounded. Fairness is not everyone getting the same thing, it is everyone getting what they need to succeed.

#20

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

Dhuman23 Report

Mama Panda
Community Member
11 months ago

Good to hear that he is now an ex.

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#21

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

haleymossart Report

Iapetos
Community Member
11 months ago

Absolutely correct.

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#22

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

smartstatistic Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
11 months ago

Screw physically able! My future and my families future are dependent upon their ability to do their job. Inability to walk does not translate to inability to lead. Now as far as some of the current politicians that are physically able. Some of them need to go back to primary school to learn the basics of what it means to be human.

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#23

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

wicked_jr89 Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
11 months ago

Depends on what the disability is. In my case, I'm overweight, diabetic and have high blood pressure. All of this lead to a fractured vertebrae in my back that never healed right. If I can lose the weight and get exercise, I can take the strain off that vertebrae and get off my diabetic medications, possibly making it easier for me to walk. So veggies can help in some situations.

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#24

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

twitchymoogle Report

Slinkman
Community Member
11 months ago

Not everyone wants to be seen as a hero, some just.. want to help. They should ask first, but be glad they look out for you.

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See Also on Bored Panda
#25

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

mLouisep Report

Ellis
Community Member
11 months ago

I used to have chronic migraines, and sometimes exercise would help (something with endorphins as nature’s pain killers). A relative has a chronic back issue (Bechterew) and exercise helps him slow down the disease. So yes, exercise sometimes DOES help. If not physically then at least mentally.

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#26

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

AmyGravino Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
11 months ago

in plenty of states No ONE gets accurate sex ed because of religion based abstinence only BS, and non hetero sex is also almost never discussed. Its sad how this part of education is ignored for children because of religious prejudice.

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#27

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

icognitoast_ Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
11 months ago (edited)

I was fortunate enough to have several adult autistic people friends on autism websites. Several of them explained why they had meltdowns. Like one young man that said he loved these African Violets that his grandmother had. He'd smile when he saw how pretty they were. But one day he came home and found some of the petal on the ground, and someone had stepped on them. He flew off on his grandmother and she couldn't understand why he was upset. He explained, those flowers were the most precious thing to him. To trample on the petal was the equivalent of punching him in the gut. It was painful and disrespectful in his eyes. His grandmother realized why he was hurt and apologized. I always ask my son to explain why he's upset so I can see things from his view. It's helped to diffuse a lot of meltdowns.

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#28

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

dacy_alex Report

Kaiserfranzgirl
Community Member
11 months ago

Or that they will never find a partner or get married

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#29

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

blkgirllostkeys Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
11 months ago

I call my son "high-functioning" because that's where he is on the ASD level. It's not an insult, or being an ableist.

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#30

People-Share-Ableist-Sayings-Microaggressions

Thyra10 Report

CrunChewy McSandybutt
Community Member
11 months ago

I am hearing impaired, and people are always trying to "catch" me at faking because in some situations I hear better than others. Yes, if I'm in a quiet room without ambient noise I can hear much easier than in a restaurant full of people. Duh.

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