Whenever we start a new relationship, we almost always experience an emotional upsurge, and in the wake of this surge of joy and positivity, the person we are dating looks incredibly wonderful in all respects. We admire the way they speak, the way they straighten their hair, the way they joke, and even the way they sneeze (yes, this happens too).
But time passes, the emotional background subsides, and a severe test of everyday life and reality begins. And here many discoveries await us, both pleasant and not. It turns out that next to us there's not such an impeccable human being, and that some of us are literally woven from shortcomings. Some of them are 100% deal breakers, and some we are ready to put up with. And this viral thread in the AskReddit community is dedicated to discussing such petty yet bearable shortcomings.
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Putting unwanted items back in the wrong place at the supermarket.
>!Becomes a dealbreaker when they leave refrigerated or frozen items outside of a fridge/freezer.!<.
Meat left on a random shelf contaminates every around it and makes a bunch of waste
I cannot imagine anybody leaving unwrapped meat just sitting on a shelf or a work surface, or even unwrapped in the fridge. On a plate, fine, a chopping board, sure. This won't contaminate anything apart from what it's sitting on which is going to be washed, so np.
Load More Replies...Not to mention the item has to be thrown out (if fridge or freezer item) coz the staff have no way of being able to tell how long it was there for.
Weird how bp copied the spoiler even though bp doesn't have that feature
It is also common 2 put back said iem back where it go. Seen it a couple of times
Not liking or wanting dogs/cats.
Edit: I just want to clearify that I didn't initially mean a situation where one already own pets and your partner doesn't want you to keep them - if a partner enters a relationship with you knowing for well you have pets and then later on expects you to get rid of your animals on a whim that's some serious b******t and a dealbreaker I stand behind 100 %.
I don't know why I find this so funny, but thanks for making me laugh! I needed it right meow.
Load More Replies...My dog was here first. My husband says he knew the score when we started dating. Fortunately he fell in love with both of us.
My husband is not a pet person but he loves me enough that we have three cats.
I think that is the truth of successful relationships. If something is really important to your partner you compromise. It's knowing when to draw the line and say no more that is hard.
Load More Replies...In that situation, partner is a knobwomble and an ex partner.
Knobwomble. I love this. My partner of 28 years is allergic to cats and I love them. Because I love all animals and he is a definite dog person we allowed my parents to give our daughter a dog when she was 5. She’s 19 now. Our dog will be 14 in 2 weeks time. I say our dog but I really mean my dog.
Load More Replies...It’s me, I’m the knobwomble. I absolutely adore animals, but I could never imagine sharing my home with one. I’m a clean freak with allergies, that’s a hard pass for me.
Fair enough. But do you have any idea how absolutely filthy & pathogen shedding people are? Like, how much hair & dander & oils & skin flakes they leave about your home after a stay. See, that grosses me out more than anything. Just thinking about what their cost has brushed against, where they’ve set their bag or luggage in public. What’s on the bottom of their shoes. Obviously I manage the thoughts of just how yucky other people are, but they’re no cleaner or muck-free than a house pet and definitely not cleaner than indoor cats.
Load More Replies...I one thousand percent can't be with someone that is afraid of or dislikes big dogs. I totally understand the phobia, and I respect its validity but I have three big dogs that were absolutely here first.
Hubs didn't want pets either. I immediately brought a cat into our relationship and she just loved him. If he was on his own, he wouldn't have pets, but we have loads and he loves all the fluffy ones.
My cousin's ex wife made him get rid of his dogs of like 10 years because "they were going to be moving to a new state for her work. Come to find out it was a lie, the place let them have dogs under a certain weight which both of his dogs matched and she just didn't want them. This was the same year he lost his mom to ALS. F**k that cancerous b***h, the courts ruled in her favor in the divorce because no one got the info he sent to the courts the previous week about her cheating on him while they were together.
If they have Live, Laugh, Love around their home.
My wife gave me a picture frame with "Live, Love, Laugh" and a few pictures of Skeletor in it to take to work :)
I’ll add anyone who thinks “Eat Pray Love” is insightful & emotive beyond basic is kinda a disappointment. Banal sentimentality or hackneyed emotional expression.
Of course, each of us is a whole unique world, with their own characteristics and specific perceptions, and what for someone looks like an absolute 'red flag' in a relationship, for another, may be a unique feature or something like that. That's why it is so interesting to get acquainted with the opinions of different people - especially since the original thread has already gained more than 11K upvotes and around 9K various comments in less than a day.
In college, watched the movie Donnie Darko for the first time and when it ended, I had so many questions and was analyzing the meaning behind it. Tried to talk to my then boyfriend and he seemed disinterested. Finally, after a half hour, he says "can you please stop talking about it? It's just a movie. You are just supposed to enjoy it, not analyze it."
Not a dealbreaker, but a huge disappointment.
Nah, once the movie is over we're talking like we're film students
It is to me. What's the point in watching a thought provoking movie like that if you're not gonna talk about it after?
I get talking about it later. But maybe it was excessive. And yeah, read the room. She said he seemed disinterested but persisted for half an hour. I think the question should have been "did you like it" rather than attempting to analyze the hidden meaning of the movie. Or maybe "what did you think about the movie", sounds like she had a ton of questions and that generally means they did all the talking.
Load More Replies...That's why I go to the cinema with my cinephile friends and leave my husband to look after the kids!
my story's worse. my person only watches romcoms. sooo f*****g disappointing.
Following lots of scantily-clad influencers, liking and commenting on most of their posts .
Got into a huge fight with my husband about this. I asked him why he was with me since I look nothing like them? Then asked how he'd feel if I did the same. He said he wouldn't care so I did it to see what would happen. He started worrying about his weight and then deleted the account.
The double standards are seriously insane. And frankly, if your partner feels uncomfortable with you doing the same thing they're doing, they know that it's wrong of them.
Load More Replies...As long as we’re talking about the pure objectification of an online persona, I agree. It’s icky. However, if we’re talking about a potential partner’s sexual attraction or interests or curiosities needing to cease once they find their ideal, presumedly monogamous, mate then we’re talking about an entire new red flag in and of itself. People’s sexual attractions don’t usually change because they’ve settled down with one partner. Nor does the expression of their sexuality. Male/female/genderqueer. It doesn’t matter. Turning one’s head to look at someone they find attractive or mentioning that attraction to a partner is healthy. Commenting on the person’s features and pursuing is a completely different thing. One is curiosity, the other is objectification and possibly predatory. My red flag in this realm is one partner telling the other they shouldn’t be attracted to anyone but them. That’s not how attraction and sexuality work. And jealousy: I just don’t understand it.
It mostly gets weird when it becomes like parasocial, y'know? Where it seems like they're trying to impress the model or whatever in question or try to 'get to know' them in certain ways. Looking at a hot person is just looking, but when you start making an online persona to talk to them and sort of blur your marital status it starts getting weird.
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If they don’t love music. (This is my life. My husband doesn’t care for music. I LOVE music. But thankfully he doesn’t care if I play it all the time. He just tunes it out)
The ironic thing is my husband has a beautiful singing voice, and a very strange ability to pick up sequences of notes he hears in ANYTHING and link it to a piece of classical music he’s heard once or twice as a very small kid. He can recall song lyrics perfectly and replicate the tunes and s**t perfectly after hearing a song once or twice. And Im pretty sure he has perfect pitch, but he doesn’t care enough to test it. All things utterly WASTED on him. I can barely carry a tune in a bucket and I adore music. I’ve played multiple instruments and can read music and have been in multiple choirs, and making music is insanely difficult for me. It just isn’t fair 🤣🤣.
This is a tough one. My husband likes some music, but can totally do without it. He doesn't sing ever. That's been a hard one because I am always singing and wanting to go dance at shows. We've been together 20 years, and he just lets me do my thing and will come along and enjoy concerts with me, but I have NEVER heard him sing. It's weird.
My partner and I both love music but we have varying tastes which do often overlap. He has no idea what I cannot stand but I know what he dislikes. The silly man synced the tv to his phone so whenever he gets on my nerves I go into his YouTube and watch stuff I know he hates then synch it to his phone. The little things count x
Load More Replies...I’ve known one person who genuinely has perfect pitch. When he listens to music, he can hear everything that is out of tune, and he finds it excruciating.
MOOD. I've had to learn to love the little imperfections but it still makes my ears roll up if I hear a sour note.
Load More Replies...I love the emphasis on these things being WASTED on him. Life is definitely not fair!
This has been hard for me as well. My husband doesn't like music all that much either. If he does listen, it's to country, which I don;t like (after about 1975. I love the old stuff). So I never get to listen to it and although he said it's fine if it's on in the car, he'll talk over it and I want to sing along and listen and he gets kinda annoyed cause I keep turning up the volume or I won't interact w/ him nonstop.
You need to talk to him about that, because there should be SOME compromise about this. Getting annoyed that he's not the center of attention for three minutes isn't cool unless he really needs the focus.
Load More Replies...So, I have chromesthesia. I love music and am so old that I’ve managed to tune out any real sound issues I used to have. With a LOT of practice. Which I thought was normal, btw, until I was 8. However, I’ve met with others with synesthesia and specifically chromesthesia who cannot handle music. Who dislike it because it evokes too much uncontrollable imagery. For example, I see sounds as shades, hues, shapes, intensity & depth. I tune out the visual of all know or expected sounds pretty well. The occasional unidentifiable or abstract sound can floor me. A lot of people with this condition cannot manage the overwhelming intensity & frequency of music.
A brain is three pounds of electric pudding that makes the strangest choices without our say so.
Load More Replies...What is the s**t word? The only one that comes to mind is one that doesn’t fit, but sure makes it hilarious. Lol
Another thing is probably interesting - how are we going to deal with these petty yet disappointing shortcomings that we find in our significant others? A couple of decades ago, many people would have said categorically: “Fight and try to make the other person into the best version of themselves!” Today, the perception of such problems is not so clear.
The best version - in whose opinion? According to us? But this opinion may not completely coincide with the views of the person whom we are going to “re-educate.” Perhaps they are quite comfortable this way, and maybe we are the very first person in their entire life who is outraged by this habit or character trait? What should we do in this case?
If she smokes/vapes. Don’t care for that smell at all.
also the cancers/health problems that come with vaping and smoking? your lungs will look like damn prunes, not to mention all of the ways it could kill you!!!
I'm too poor to afford their hospital bills /j
Load More Replies...My husband always said he would never be with a smoker, but I smoked when we started dating. It was only a short time in my life, about 2 years, and I quit. We've been together 11 years now. However, I didn't quit for him. He did not force anything. I quit for me, and I think that is the only way people can successfully quit. They have to be ready to quit.
I never nagged my husband. It wouldn’t have helped. We both smoked when we met, but I I quit long before he did.
Load More Replies...My partner was a smoker when we got together. I always thought it would be a deal breaker but it wasn't. However I do prefer the vapes over cigarettes they smell better and it's nicer to kiss
They go to Target and throw doormats on the floor to look at them and then just walk away and leave them on the floor.
My mind is boggled by this one. Forget the not picking them up bit, why do they need to see them on the floor?
At work we have clocks on a wall for display. The number of people who want them taken down and put on the counter to see closer doesn't make sense. You're not going to sit it on the bench and look at it close up at home. It's going to go on the wall!
I dont know... this might be breakup. That behavior just makes you a bad person.
When they don't want to do things TOGETHER. I get some people need alone time but some people want to do things like dancing together or rock climbing together and some SO only like to spend alone time together. Which I get cuz Im both half the week but not doing ANYTHING together makes me a little lonely sometimes.
That's a deal breaker. What's the point of being in a relationship if you don't do anything together? Do you even have anything in commong?
Agreed! This was happening chronically with my first husband, and every time I tried to talk to him about it he essentially said that it was a me problem because time with me was not a priority for him at that point in his life. I thanked him for letting me know, and he was still astonished when I asked for a divorce!
Load More Replies...As The Carpenters would say, “Workin' together day to day. Together. Together.”
I'm very introverted when it comes to being in a relationship because I like spending time in my own head thinking and I enjoy silence. But I can still make time for partners because my personal preferences stop being boundaries the second they start harming the other person's mental well being. Communication is the key to a good relationship and I feel like a good third of these issues could be resolved with that.
“It is in situations like this that therapy and conscious relationship building come to the rescue,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch over this topic to get a comment. “On the one hand - yes, both parties should be comfortable in a relationship. On the other hand, you need to respect the traits of the person with whom you are walking through this life, and be able to make reasonable compromises.”
“And just to find this fine line, to realize where there's a violation of personal boundaries, and where you can just give in and relax - this is where a specialist can help. Well, or you can try to figure it out yourself or together with your partner. But then sincere mutual desire and mutual frankness is a must. Otherwise, conflicts are inevitable..." Irina summarizes.
When you watching a tv series together and he or she watches an episode without you. thats a betrayal.
I have the opposite problem. I'll be watching a show and then my husband will start getting interested and want me to start it from the beginning again. Like watch it on your own time, I just watched the 4 episodes you missed.
I absolutely hate that! I'll start a show that I think there's no way he's he interested in and then he gets into it and now I have to wait to watch new episodes
Load More Replies...Does that include if you essentially stop watching a show but promise to resume again one day but they want to continue watching it?
We often can’t find a window of time to schedule an entire series together. But we still want to discuss the program with each other. So, we watch it together when we can and by ourselves when we can’t. Then we can have interesting conversation about it. Better than not watching at all or constantly rescheduling a time to watch.
This actually will cause a huge fight for me because it's also the small amount of time I get each week when my husband and I actively set a side to spend time together. So to me it sags that time isn't important so why bother doing it?
They run family 5ks on thanksgiving mornings.
That's a deal breaker if they try and get me to join in. I'll sleep in and start cooking the food, you go ahead and run in the cold for no reason.
Your screen name is epic. My moms favorite euphemism.
Load More Replies...I don't even celebrate Christmas but my husband's family had mashed potatoes with the roast dinner instead of roast potatoes and I could have cried. You just can't beat a good roastie.
I am so sorry, sending you thoughts and prayers. Almost as bad as heating your tea in the microwave.
Load More Replies...but...but...but... excercise is fun! we did a rowing race as a family christmas day. IT was so fun!
Thanksgiving run is a good thing! I only ever got my son to do a half-M with me a couple times - was great! And never worry about how much you eat after.
One likes to have the family gathered, one likes to feel their power... Can't see anything wrong about it.
If they stop the microwave prematurely, but don't clear the display.
Don't you know I need clocks in enough places that I never need to move my head to see the time? YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE!
nah I disagree. We have a dial-type. I always leave it at about 2 minutes so you can just close the door and it starts cooking and then you open the door to take whatever out, then turn it back to about 2 minutes. MUCH less work than those annoying ones where you have to type in a number and then choose some option of how to cook it meantime it can really only do pulses of radiation with different sized gaps between the pulses.
I do this ALL the time. The timer is perpetually at 00:01. I like it that way
Or maybe, who knows, this is all just an abstract philosophy - and you just need to live, enjoy every day and night on this small yet beautiful planet, and be just glad that there's a person next to you whom you love. And who loves you. Even if they... well, forget to flush the toilet from time to time... Damn, or should we say this in a more diplomatic way, eh? What do you actually think?
If they replace the toilet paper roll the wrong way.
I feel like I'm one of the few who doesn't care. As long as it makes on the roller, it's a win.
I'm right-handed and personally have found it depends upon placement of the holder: the devil's way if its on my right, properly if on my left
Load More Replies...When I first got married, my MIL came to our home and started "teaching" me how to keep up my home. One of her tedious and exhausting lessons was putting the TP on properly and always elaborately folding the exposed end. That marriage is long gone, but I always put the TP on backwards as my teeny, passive aggressive rebellion.
Agreed,,, TP had a direction UNLESS you have a kitten who thinks it's FUN to unravel the TP.
The wrong way is the only way if you have a cat who likes to unroll toilet paper and waits for someone to forget to close the door when leaving the toilet. He would dart in there and you'd find a pile of unrolled paper with claw marks on the floor.
I had a friend who would turn my toilet roll the "wrong" way whenever he used my toilet! The unadulterated cheek of the man!
28 years and counting and the OH still can't get it tight although in fairness I think he now puts it on the wrong way just to p**s me off and frankly that's pettiness I can respect lol
Needs to have the television on at bedtime.
I find the tv on drowns out the snoring. But I also have noise cancelling headphones just in case. I'm the one who likes the tv on, my partner can sleep anywhere, anytime, noise or no noise
I dug in my heels on this. No TV in the bedroom. I cannot sleep with talking/music or lights or the flickering light of a TV screen. I have to read my book before lights out and it needs to be quiet or with the fan or a/c as white noise.
I need the movements and the sound of the TV to stop my mind from spinning around and actually fall asleep. I set up the timer to one hour, turn down the volume to barely audible and go to bed. I tried sleeping with a radio or with nothing at all, but i just couldn't fall asleep. That is the crux when you have an ADHD brain, it is never silent and to shut it up I need something else.
That he’s one of those men who cough up loogies 24/7 🤢. Almost a dealbreaker.
Some of us have problems with snot production and it hangs in the throat area. We can cough it out or we can gag until we throw up. Pick one
I wondered if they had a minor food allergy. I get runny nose and slightly congested eating certain foods (mostly spices).
Load More Replies...I have do the same thing. My actual diagnosis is "non-allergic rhinitis" meaning my nose runs a lot or gets stuffed up without allergies being the cause. I sniffle, cough up stuff, take lots of pills and have to watch out for colds and flus or they go into sinus infections or upper respiratory infections.
Seasonal allergies cause that. Why should you get stuck with a loser who has allergies? Jerk.
My dad hates movies with subtitles. My mom is a foreign film buff. She has been trying to change him for DECADES. And while he'll sit through (and sometimes even enjoy) them on occasion, he'll still groan any time she suggests a movie with subtitles.
The ultimate disappointing non-dealbreaker.
**EDIT:** Ok, I'm just going to add this here before anyone else asks if my dad can read. He's an oncologist. He's not dumb. He can keep up with the subtitles and the subject matter. He just does so much reading for work (he goes through medical journals like crazy) he wants to relax with something silly and mindless, that requires zero effort on his part. He feels the same way about tearjerkers (another of my mom's favorites) where people die slowly from some awful disease. He gets enough of that s**t at work. But he'll occasionally sit through them for my mom. We watched the old Julia Roberts film, Dying Young, a few weeks ago (where she nurses/falls in love with a young guy dying of cancer) and for half the film he was just looking at my mom with an expression that clearly read "why the f**k would you do this to me?".
In this case, I can see the mom as the one that is disappointing... Not diminishing her work at all, but does she not realise, how she would feel if it was reversed?
On the other hand, some soundtracks are so poorly made that I need subtitles to be able to know what's going on.
I need the subtitles to understand what is going on: between the loud music over the dialog, people talking at warp speed, people mumbling, or heavy accents, I have to have the subtitles now.
Load More Replies...Honestly, I'll watch a foreign language film, but English subtitles are extremely distracting to me. When I'm looking at subtitles, I'm not looking at all the other ways the director is telling the story apart from dialogue.
I can appreciate your father's pov. I'm the same way. Sometimes you need to veg out.
I watch a lot of movies with subtitles. I don't even notice them, or notice that I'm reading after about 10-15 minutes.
I really don't understand why people don't just watch films separately!!! Why force someone to watch something they hate!!!!
Vegan. I don't mind eating more veggies around my partner and it's good for my health and the planet but I do like meat and would want to eat it when they aren't around.
Many vegans don't care what you eat around them they just do their thing
my last three have been vegans and it's fine as long as they don't preach at you.
It's the self-righteous ones I can do without. More bacon for me!
I thought it wouldn't matter but they create this atmosphere of me being a bad person. I like meat, it's my main meal ingredient. I don't want to feel awkward cooking and eating around them. I agree with the op, it's too hard, too disappointing to burden oneself with such problems.
How's that a deal breaker to just eat it when they're not around?
The girl I’m into right now doesn’t like kissing. She thinks swapping saliva is gross which is weird because she’ll swap other stuff no problem. It’s not a dealbreaker but I do miss kissing.
This would be a gigantic deal breaker, I love to kiss and I've been told (many times) that my lips were made to do it.
Have you considered that it might be an issue with your breath/dental hygine?
That’s my thought. I can’t kiss someone with bad breath. It icks me out and I can’t stop thinking of the bacteria exchange.
Load More Replies...Totally. Like how could she swap other stuff without even kissing? Jump right into it? Yikes
Load More Replies...nah I also hate it. Also hate the sounds of dogs licking their nuts etc etc. So yeah, totally get this one.
They don't find the movie Airplane! funny.
I must admit, some of the "old classics" have aged poorly. Airplane is still funny and has some great gags. But it's not as funny as I remember it. National Lampoons Vacation is a bit the same. I remember it as being hilarious, but watched it again a year or so ago and it was just... ok.
I feel exactly the same. I watched these movies when I was younger and thought they were hilarious. They haven't aged well and I don't enjoy them much at all anymore. I guess OP wouldn't have us. 🤣
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If she told people personal details about our life.
For example, we’re having a kid and we just found out it’s a boy.
We agreed to keep it secret for the gender until we can get our families together to tell them.
Unfortunately we’re in a town of just 9000 people. Word gets around fast. She ended up telling her friends and her friends told their friends until it just spread like wild fire. Ended up spoiling the news before we can set up the family gathering.
The best gender revels is the day when the baby is born. Anything else is a waste of time and money, another hallmark card selling scam.
What matters is making an agreement with your partner or spouse that you will keep something between yourselves then you blab behind their back. It doesn’t matter what the thing you blab is about nor other peoples’ opinion of how important it is/should be to keep secret. The point is you had an agreement and by breaking the agreement showed your SO they can’t trust you.
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Vastly different thresholds for bathroom related openness.
My husband and I met on OkCupid 13 years ago, back then they had you do this massive 50 or 100 question questionnaire, and you could pick if any of the questions were extremely important and they would show you how your match compared against your answers. My husband and I were in almost perfect match, 98%, and the only thing we had strong differing viewpoints was on how often would you find it acceptable for your partner to fart in front of you. My answer was never, his answer was the Shrek quote "better out than in I always say".
I swear to you-- two kids, a mortgage, 11 years of marriage and all the life and changes that come with that-- I still find this the least appealing thing about him. Everything else is pretty great (PS, yes, he loved when I was hugely pregnant and accidentally farted when I walked).
I couldn't imagine having to live with leaving the room to fart in my own home.
I know! I can't imagine being with someone who would care about this
Load More Replies...Farting is normal. Everyone does it. Just do what we do and high five each other when it's impressive
Farting is hilarious but my husband isn’t a fan of me doing it. I’m post menopausal and I’ve only gotten worse over the years. But when he does it… completely different story cos that’s fine, apparently. We’ve been married long enough that it hasn’t become a dealbreaker fortunately. 💨
Omg, this could be my husband and me! I even asked him if he wrote this. He said that he didn't, and that he remembers we were a 99% match, not 98%. And yes, I had refused to fart in front of him. I was afraid he wouldn't like me anymore, so it took three years of us living together before I finally broke the fart barrier. I still try not to because it's humiliating to me.
My partner doesn’t have an interest in most non European ethnic foods, and I love well made Thai, Mexican, Indian wtc. (And since my ex was a literal world traveler, I’ve had authentic from several of those places, not the Americanized versions).
I now eat some of it so infrequently that my spice tolerance levels have actually decreased significantly.
The kicker is my partner loves soups. And I know he’d LOVE Phö, if he was brave enough to try it. Especially since it’s so customizable.
I think you meant phở and it is delicious. Everyone makes it slightly different but always good.
Doesn't listen to anything other than Pop music.
Sometimes people just like stuff that's fun and easy to move or sing to. I'd take someone who bumped T Swift over someone who gets judgey about liking things, and I'm not that big on her! That's something I haven't really told a lot of people because it's not important and I know folks who do like her, so to say as much would only succeed in making them feel s****y.
My preferred genre is pop-punk but I'll pretty much listen to anything. I don't enjoy country or black/death metal but if someone's playing it I'll listen
Absolutely nothing WRONG with it. But this would be a big deal-breaker for me. I don't listen get into music that is just catchy or fun to sing with or dance to (with some few exceptions). I grew up playing classical violin and other instruments and I just can't stand very simple, formulaic music. But I DO NOT THINK there is anything wrong with people who like that. But music is so important to me, that we would have to share some love for more complicated pieces, even if we didn't even share a love for the same genres or artists.
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Zero cooking skills.
I am super skilled at burning toast and over/under cooking eggs. I can mess up a lunchables. I can dry out ANY type of meat.
Only one needs to be able / liking to cook. The other then has to be useful in something else. Work for my wife and me.
I can literally only make rice. I swear I can somehow mess up heating up something in a microwave.
I am very glad my husband didn't think it a deal breaker, because I couldn't cook boiled eggs when we met, and he was quite a good cook. I learned from him eventually.
Doesn't put bowls upside down in the dishwasher.
There is a correct way (my way) to load the dishwasher. This is a hill I’m prepared to die on. My way everything comes out clean and without puddles of water collected in the base of the big cups.
That's a bit extreme, but I accepted many years ago that there are two ways to load a dishwasher, my way and the wrong way. As such I always re-load it myself before it goes on. It's a lot easier that way!
My FIL was the dishwasher king. The only time anyone else got to load the dishwasher was if he had fallen asleep. We had to empty it before he woke up so that he didn’t know. Told him we washed the dishes by hand. He also always washed them by hand before putting them in the dishwasher for a second go. He passed at 93 and we still miss him.
Load More Replies...Does putting plates and lids in the dishwasher facing away from center count?
Who the Fck, how, what, why would anyone not place bowls, cups etc. upside down!
Just a guess but perhaps weaponised incompetence. Do it wrong and then get banned from doing it which is what they wanted in the first place???
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Not being able to cook. I love to cook and would gladly cook for both of us most of the time, but every once in a while, I'd like someone else to cook (especially when I'm not feeling well).
My partner claims he can cook and constantly gives me his advice on seasoning meals etc. but never cooks. I love to cook so it only bothers me if he complains. Our daughter also loves to cook so it’s something we often do together which is way better than having a self proclaimed chef who has only ever made a bacon butty and beans on toast for me!
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If they are a sock-shoe-sock-shoe person and not a sock-sock-shoe-shoe person.
Pants sock sock shoe shoe here. My apologies. I’ll try to do better.
Load More Replies...Since shoes don't belong more than a few feet from the outer door I object to both kinds of people here. Correct is sock-sock-... -shoe-shoe.
Oh heck. I wouldn't even know how to approach this one. The other day I put on one sock, then my pants, my sweater, then my other sock. Finally put on both my slippers. Yeah, I got problems.
Since my back injury I'm sock shoe sock shoe and I hate it. What has my life come to!?
I never wear shoes in the house and I am not walking barefoot inside. So it is sock sock in the morning and shoe shoe when I am leaving the house.
My ex was sock-sock-shoe, then wander around the house for 5 minutes yelling, "where's my shoe?" And giving us side-eyed looks like we had hidden it. Truth be told, he would come home, take one shoe off by the door, get bored with that, then clomp around with one shoe on until he noticed and got annoyed and take it off wherever he was. So, each morning, the second shoe could be just ANYWHERE in the house. Somehow, it was vaguely my fault. I found it immensely amusing (but I would help him look for it if he were running late).
I do both, depending on what I'm wearing. If I have extra tight pants or finicky shoes, sock-shoe-repeat. Otherwise, socks first always preferred.
They clap when the plane lands.
I've never actually seen this happen, do people actually do this?
I’ve only seen it when we had a tough landing (usually weather-related), and knew it really took a skilled pilot to safely land the plane. Loud applause to signal a thank you to the crew for getting us on the ground safely. But those were the only times.
Load More Replies...I've done this once but all the passengers did because we had a really dodgy landing and were glad to be alive! In general, no.
I have traveled by airplane a lot and have only seen this happen twice. Both times were when it seemed like we were going to land in a thousand pieces, and then we didn't.
Flying into Wellington New Zealand when it's REALLY windy, you want to not only applaud but kiss the ground when you de-plane! I've only done it once after flying back from the UK via Singapore to Auckland then Auckland to Wellington. The Wellington weather was so bad we flew around it to the top of the South Island, turned north to approach Wellington and it was like a side to side roller-coaster with air pockets. Not fun. My boys, 9 and 10, slept through the whole thing.
They're not into videogames. At all. Like not even willing to try.
Only crosses into dealbreaker if they're openly critical or judgmental of my enjoyment for videogames, and/or plans to never allow their kids to play videogames.
I get not wanting to play videogames. Just replace the word videogames with any hobby to understand why. Skeet shooting, repairing old cars, surfing, scuba diving, sky diving... People like what they like and don't like what they don't. As long as they don't disparage you (or the kids) for playing then seems fair. Oh, and as long as they don't force you to do "their thing" while refusing to do yours.
It's a deal breaker for me if a person IS into video games. Massive waste of time.
No more a waste of time than any other hobby that brings you joy. Like reading and making judgemental comments on bp.
Load More Replies...Same. I love video games and talking about them and yeah it would make me a little sad if they had 0 interest in any of it. Wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but I would still be sad lol.
I'm not into games at all. Boring AF for me. I know someone who is only about games, needs to go to scrabble, watching tennis, golf, online games, basketball, anything with games. Nothing wrong with that, it's what she likes. But for me, I get bored even thinking about games of any sort. Watching is just boring to me.
Picky eater.
I... sensory issues. I'll find something to eat for myself but I'm not gonna be adventurous
That is fine and no one should have a problem with that. It is the picky eaters who insist that everyone needs to accommodate their choices that are annoying. I am not, however, including those with allergies.
Load More Replies...I don't care as long as they don't make it everyone else's problem
Picky eaters is one thing. Can usually accommodate but those picky eaters just just flat out refuse to try anything and are like "I don't like it" without trying it. They are the ones that annoy me
O would add: customizer eater. I like to cook and try recipes and make gourmet food, and I used to have a boyfriend who every time I cooked an elaborated dish, he put ketchup or mayo and totally ruin the dish. It made me feel really frustrated and non appreciated at all
Sometimes, and sometimes it's just because they're fussy and have been spoiled.
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My boyfriend and I have been together 11 years. I’ve had the same favorite TV show since before I met him, and he hates it. Obviously not a dealbreaker but it’s pretty disappointing! 😂.
He didn’t like Scooby Doo.
Again, this is more of a preference. People can like what they like, stop being a pretentious snob, like only you have the best taste in s**t to watch or listen to.
Just yank their ears and say "let's find out who you REALLY are!!!"
When there's things they used to do with an ex but aren't interested in anymore. For example, I had an ex whose ex used to force them to do couples costumes at Halloween etc. I had never had a serious bf before, and desperately wanted to do a couples costume with him but he was OVER IT at that point and didn't want to :(.
When you plan to watch your favourite movie together at the theatres but they already seen it with friends.
Worse. They fidget and talk and just can’t seem to keep up with the story the whole way through it. Part of the reason I prefer to go to the movies by myself—-especially a weekday matinee when everyone else in the world is at work and I’m not—-or watch them at home when no one else is around. Sorry, but if you’re not the kind of person who can STFU while a film is running, then once it’s over talk film history, genres, storylines, stars, directors, cinematographers, underlying meanings, classics, background, etc, I will not be inviting you to watch a movie with me. Even if I’m married to you. Yeah, he prefers action flicks, and when they’re done, he was entertained, so he moves on. I prefer classic, international, and arty films, and really dig diving into a deep analysis and discussion of them afterward. Don’t worry, we have other things in common, so all is not lost. Movies just aren’t on that shared list.
How often are your favourite movies on at theatres? My favourite movies are from the 80s, it's a long time since any of them have been at the theatre.
I was very disappointed to learn that my partner refused to watch black and white movies. She makes up for that in many other ways, though.
Someone with awful spelling.
dyslexic is one thing, but a careless sloppy education is another
Load More Replies...Should off, would off, could off. Or this obsession with abbreviating everything, like you are talking in codes. It´s hard sometimes to understand some peoples comments if you are not a native English speaking person.
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The big "aaaah" when he drinks something. Usually it's fine, but once in a while it's aggressive, and I just ????? You good hun????
This is such a weird thing, and yet I somehow know several people who do this, and I have NO idea why. and despite it being all in good fun, I can completely understand why it annoys you ;).
Sleep apnea (I know, it’s not anyone’s fault, let’s get it sorted so we can both sleep though).
Probably should've put 'untreated' in there so this made sense. Otherwise it just sounds like you're being weirdly judgey about someone's medical issues!
I've known some people who can't sleep with someone who uses a CPAP.
Load More Replies...The mask bothers me more than the snoring and choking, I'll be forever tired
Then your mask is wrong. It took me 4 masks of trying before findind the right one. My dad refused his and he has had his first hearth attack now and his liver is in bad shape, big chance it's the sleep apnea that caused it. (He is healthy , slim, low blood pressure, no bad genetics)
Load More Replies...I diagnosed my so's sleep apnoea before he went to the doctor. Fifteen years later he and I both sleep well. He uses a CPAP machine and it has changed his life.
My partner is happy I have a mask now. The snoring and heavy breathing made more sound then my mask.... the improvent after using are almost unoticable, until I forget for 1 night and I turn into a zombie mess. Lost my first few kilo's in years to!
They can only sleep on the same side of the bed as I do and want me to switch sides.
My late husband was a retired cop. In hotels, he insisted on the side of the bed closer to the door “in case someone got in.” Drove me nuts on road trips when we had to switch sides!
My current SO isn’t a huge massage person but it’s one thing I love doing, like massage trade offs w partners. It’s disappointing cause I would love a massage but he never likes giving them even if I initiate a trade off so he would get one too haha.
Hi, LMT here, lots of untrained people are afraid to do it wrong, plus if you're not someone who works with their hands a lot, it can hurt to give them until you build up the strength. I agree with the comment to take him to a (legit) massage place and see if a pro can help him understand how good they are, BUT of it's not his thing you can't keep pushing. It will backfire
If they don’t like ramen.
Is that your case? For you, ramen must sound like a part of a "backward eastern culture".
Load More Replies...This is beyond stupid. You can eat ramen and they can have something else,?
The posts about food, music, shows, movies are pissing me off. All of these are matters of personal taste.
if you mean those fake noodles you cook in the microwave with MSG sprinkles, no thanks. They are full of dodgy preservatives and chemicals. Pretty sure they're just reconstituted plastic. If you mean REAL ramen that's a different thing.
I just watched The Ramen Girl, starring Brittany Murphy. I remember seeing ads when it came out, and thinking it would be cute. I definitely recommend it, if anyone hasn't seen it yet.
If they wouldn't still love me if I was a worm.
Being allergic to seafood.
Yeah but I get what they're saying though. If they're really strongly allergic it means you probably can't eat it either. Having to completely cut out something you enjoy or at best schedule it for times when you won't see you partner for awhile sucks.
Load More Replies...Not a thing they can help—-and no, they’re not lying about it as a dramatic way to cover for simply not liking seafood (pisses me off when people are allergic, someone doesn’t believe them and serves them the exact food they’re allergic to, as a “test”, and the poor person ends up in anaphylactic so that’s an unfair, as well as irrational, thing to be pissed off about. However, if they think you being such an a*****e is a dealbreaker, I can see the sense in it.
People are different. If you're identical, there's less chance of growing and becoming more than the sum of your parts (NB not a euphemism).
Hehehe if it's not a euphemism then it should be
Load More Replies...I really hope that the (if I was a worm) and (allergic to seafood) posts were satirical.
If they have a gigantic vertical "Welcome" sign on their front porch but there's another smaller sign you cant see until you are at the door telling you to p**s off (ie Don't ring my doorbell if you don't have Girl Scout cookies). Its fine to have boundaries but this combination says I don't want the world to know I'm a jerk.
People are different. If you're identical, there's less chance of growing and becoming more than the sum of your parts (NB not a euphemism).
Hehehe if it's not a euphemism then it should be
Load More Replies...I really hope that the (if I was a worm) and (allergic to seafood) posts were satirical.
If they have a gigantic vertical "Welcome" sign on their front porch but there's another smaller sign you cant see until you are at the door telling you to p**s off (ie Don't ring my doorbell if you don't have Girl Scout cookies). Its fine to have boundaries but this combination says I don't want the world to know I'm a jerk.
