Person Doesn’t See A Problem With Briefly Using Their Neighbors’ Driveway While They’re Away On Holiday
Henry Ford is sometimes credited with the phrase that “a car is not a luxury, but just a vehicle.” Almost a century has passed since then, the car has acquired many new qualities and incarnations, and one of them is being a source of constant problems and reasons for quarrels with relatives and neighbors.
Of course, many of our cities were designed in the days when the car was still a luxury, so it was incredibly easy to park the car near the business center when you were almost the only car owner in the whole company. But what to do now, when very often there are two or three cars per family?
The story we’re about to tell you today belongs to the beloved “neighbor drama” genre, and appeared a few days ago as a post by user u/First-Management-511 on the AITA Reddit community. While the author of the post honestly doesn’t see what he is actually guilty of, most people in the comments believe that he is fundamentally wrong. So let’s try to figure it out together.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and his wife live in a townhouse and own a garage with a parking spot in addition
Image credits: Lazzy_Bear (not the actual image)
The author of the original post says that he and his wife live in a row of four townhouses, so all the houses are connected. Each house has its own garage, as well as a driveway leading to this garage. According to the original poster, his wife usually parks in the garage and he leaves his car outside, simply because it’s too big to put it inside.
Image credits: u/First-Management-511
It happened once that the author briefly parked his car in the neighbors’ dedicated parking spot as they were away for holidays
This case happened when one of the OP’s neighbors had gone away on holiday, leaving their parking space free for three days. The author of the post himself suggested earlier that the neighbors use their parking space if they were not at home, therefore, returning home and seeing that his wife had parked outside, he did not think long and left the car in the neighbors’ parking spot.
Image credits: u/First-Management-511
It turned out that some person saw his car parked there and reported it to the spot owners immediately
As the original poster admits, he was busy around the house for some time, and then, after about half an hour, he ultimately went out to park his wife’s car in the garage, and his own – in its dedicated spot. And just at that moment, a message came from those very neighbors. As it turned out, some person saw the OP’s car parked in someone else’s spot and immediately reported it to the owners.
Image credits: opollophotoghraphy (not the actual image)
The neighbors told the author that he showed a lack of respect, though he didn’t see himself as guilty of anything
The neighbors were annoyed that the author of the post parked his car without asking permission. All of the OP’s objections that the car had been parked for no more than half an hour, that the space was already empty, and that he himself had previously suggested that the owners of other townhouses leave their cars on his own driveway in his absence had absolutely no effect. The neighbor insisted that the OP showed a lack of respect, and asked that it never happens again.
Image credits: u/First-Management-511
Most of the commenters, however, sided with the author’s neighbors, stating that he should definitely respect another people belongings
However, the author of the original post could not find sympathy among the commenters, because the vast majority of them supported just his neighbors. According to people in the comments, most likely, the OP’s neighbors simply do not want him getting in the habit of parking there. And sometimes, as some commenters have pointed out, it’s easier to really say a firm “no” than having to spend time and effort dealing with entitled neighbors.
Image credits: Porapak Apichodilok (not the actual image)
Many commenters simply advise the Original Poster to respect other people’s property – for example, how would he feel if the neighbors came over and started using his own porch and BBQ in his absence, just because he wasn’t using it? And the fact that the OP himself repeatedly suggested that others use his parking lot is no reason to do the same to others. After all, it is their property, they utilize it as they see fit, and this right must be respected.
You might also be interested in this post of ours about home owner versus entitled neighboring HOA, or how neighbors demanded a guy build a big house on his lot – just so as not to “hurt other houses’ value”. And besides, we’re already looking forward to your point of view on the situation we described in the comments below this post.
Do I live in an entirely different universe? NTA! "Principles" are per se never a good reason! In summer at least one or two drivers park the car on our property daily. As long as they don't block the driveways they happily can use those parking spots. On the other hand I sometimes park the car for short times carefully on other properties if there's enough space and I don't obstruct anyone living there. Being petty destroys the sense of community. It just generates hate and mistrust. I really like the idea of tolerance: sometimes I take, sometimes I give and in the end nobody has to feel offended
Whenever bp doesn't list a single comment with an alternate point of view, I am immediately suspicious. There have to be other comments with NTA that they didn't include. I would personally say NAH and adults need to grow up and learn to communicate. If it was truly a misunderstanding, you say "oh man, I'm so sorry. My wife was waiting for me to come home so I could get in the garage first. It was only for a few minutes and the other neighbors do that for each other sometimes, so we didn't think you'd mind. But thank you so much for letting us know that it bothers you; we absolutely won't do it again." Done. Adult communication.
There was one comment whete the person mentioned they thought it was petty of the neighbor & that it would make it look like they were still home.
That's great that you have that arrangement with your neighbors, but not everyone does. I also assume that it was discussed beforehand and you didn't just randomly start parking in someone's spot, which didn't happen here. If they had asked before using it maybe it wouldn't've been a problem. But the fact that they did it without asking is rude and probably the largest issue the neighbors had.
Right! Can you imagine how utterly miserable it would be to live in a place like this with all the snitches and entitlement? If someone actually blocks my driveway, I simply ask them to move. No harm, no foul. All the NTA's are a reminder of how fortunate I was to have grown up in much happier times.
Indeed weird. "Will you go sit on their patio too?". As if a parking spot is anything beyond a convenience. When is the last time you tidied your parking spot? Painted it? Went to the deco shop to restyle it?
Agree!!!
Not surprised, given all the other YTA comments, that you got downvoted for this. Some, but not all, of our Swiss neighbours can get petty like this, although never so far as to get angry about us parking there for a few minutes when they're not even in occupancy. But I tend to agree with you.
I was expecting a NTA too!! I always let people park in my neighbours driveway if they are stopping by for 30 mins or whatever, if they need it moved they can just honk and someone will go out and move it, same as they can use mine if they have a guest dropping stuff off or need it for whatever time, I’ll just let them know if I need it moved. Seems like why neighbourly/friendly thing to do, it was like 30mins not for the whole 3 days, but even then I would easily offer my spot in front of the garage up if it helped my neighbour!
In Denmark it is mostly the opposite. We use eachothers driveways, garbagepins etc. So their houses don't look empty when they are on holliday.... easy and normal...
Clever!
Right? We do that too.
This, I do this for my neighbors when they are on extended vacation, especially putting out the garbage bins and return them up the drive.
I think a lot of people are saying that having a car on the driveway to seem like you were still home is safer, but I think still YTA. Their house, their space, their rules. Just because you offered to give up your spot doesn’t mean you are entitled to theirs. They might not actually NEED a car to be there to seem like they were home. You might need that spot really bad, and it would *somehow* benefit them if you parked there, but they are perfectly entitled to say NO and that’s it. Straightforward logic. (Cue the downvote fairies)
Do I live in an entirely different universe? NTA! "Principles" are per se never a good reason! In summer at least one or two drivers park the car on our property daily. As long as they don't block the driveways they happily can use those parking spots. On the other hand I sometimes park the car for short times carefully on other properties if there's enough space and I don't obstruct anyone living there. Being petty destroys the sense of community. It just generates hate and mistrust. I really like the idea of tolerance: sometimes I take, sometimes I give and in the end nobody has to feel offended
Whenever bp doesn't list a single comment with an alternate point of view, I am immediately suspicious. There have to be other comments with NTA that they didn't include. I would personally say NAH and adults need to grow up and learn to communicate. If it was truly a misunderstanding, you say "oh man, I'm so sorry. My wife was waiting for me to come home so I could get in the garage first. It was only for a few minutes and the other neighbors do that for each other sometimes, so we didn't think you'd mind. But thank you so much for letting us know that it bothers you; we absolutely won't do it again." Done. Adult communication.
There was one comment whete the person mentioned they thought it was petty of the neighbor & that it would make it look like they were still home.
That's great that you have that arrangement with your neighbors, but not everyone does. I also assume that it was discussed beforehand and you didn't just randomly start parking in someone's spot, which didn't happen here. If they had asked before using it maybe it wouldn't've been a problem. But the fact that they did it without asking is rude and probably the largest issue the neighbors had.
Right! Can you imagine how utterly miserable it would be to live in a place like this with all the snitches and entitlement? If someone actually blocks my driveway, I simply ask them to move. No harm, no foul. All the NTA's are a reminder of how fortunate I was to have grown up in much happier times.
Indeed weird. "Will you go sit on their patio too?". As if a parking spot is anything beyond a convenience. When is the last time you tidied your parking spot? Painted it? Went to the deco shop to restyle it?
Agree!!!
Not surprised, given all the other YTA comments, that you got downvoted for this. Some, but not all, of our Swiss neighbours can get petty like this, although never so far as to get angry about us parking there for a few minutes when they're not even in occupancy. But I tend to agree with you.
I was expecting a NTA too!! I always let people park in my neighbours driveway if they are stopping by for 30 mins or whatever, if they need it moved they can just honk and someone will go out and move it, same as they can use mine if they have a guest dropping stuff off or need it for whatever time, I’ll just let them know if I need it moved. Seems like why neighbourly/friendly thing to do, it was like 30mins not for the whole 3 days, but even then I would easily offer my spot in front of the garage up if it helped my neighbour!
In Denmark it is mostly the opposite. We use eachothers driveways, garbagepins etc. So their houses don't look empty when they are on holliday.... easy and normal...
Clever!
Right? We do that too.
This, I do this for my neighbors when they are on extended vacation, especially putting out the garbage bins and return them up the drive.
I think a lot of people are saying that having a car on the driveway to seem like you were still home is safer, but I think still YTA. Their house, their space, their rules. Just because you offered to give up your spot doesn’t mean you are entitled to theirs. They might not actually NEED a car to be there to seem like they were home. You might need that spot really bad, and it would *somehow* benefit them if you parked there, but they are perfectly entitled to say NO and that’s it. Straightforward logic. (Cue the downvote fairies)