Dad Is Sick And Tired Of Constant Complaints From Picky-Eater Children, Figures Out A Way To Make Them Change Their Tune
If you’re a parent, there’s a good chance you’ve encountered some picky eating at one point or another. Perhaps your little one went through a phase of demanding only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets. And that’s perfectly normal!
But when one dad found himself receiving complaints about dinner no matter what he chose to prepare, he decided that it was time to retire from cooking altogether. Below, you’ll find the full story, along with an update, that this fed-up father shared on Reddit, as well as conversations with Rachael Hartley, RD, LD and Jordan Thompson, RD, DDEPT.
This father was fed-up with his children complaining about dinner no matter what he chose to make
Image credits: Malte Helmhold (not the actual photo)
So he decided it was time to retire from cooking altogether
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Later, the dad shared an update on how his “retirement” went
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
Image source: BabyHooey
He also responded to several readers and provided additional information on the situation
It’s perfectly normal for kids to go through a phase of picky eating
Image credits: Karo Kujanpaa (not the actual photo)
To learn more about picky eating and how common it is among children, we reached out to a couple of experts on the topic who were kind enough to provide their insight. Registered Dietician and Nutrition Therapist Rachael Hartley told Bored Panda that most children will go through a phase of picky eating, which is considered developmentally ‘normal’.
“This usually happens sometime between 2 and 4 years, and is thought to have roots in human evolution, a protective mechanism at a time when children are weaning away from their patients, becoming more independent and more at risk for accidentally ingesting something that is potentially harmful. It may also be part of how a child seeks a sense of control,” she explained.
Registered Dietician Jordan Thompson, of JM Nutrition, also added that, “It can be common for multiple children in one family to become picky eaters. Children learn through observing and may copy the behavior of their siblings. They may mirror their parents too.”
But Rachael reassures parents that most children will grow out of picky eating, “especially if they are given access to a wide variety of foods, not pressured to eat things they don’t like, and have had parents modeling eating a variety of foods.” However, this isn’t the case for everyone. “Some may be more selective with food due to their neurodivergence and experience difficulties with certain textures or tastes,” she explained.
“As parents, it is your role to decide what, when, and where meals are offered; and children decide if and how much they would like to eat”
“While with support, they may be able to expand their palette, they will likely always be more selective around food and that’s okay!” Rachael added. “If a child is a more selective eater, especially if it is to the point where it’s impacting the child or the parents quality of life or ability to adequately nourish themselves, it’s worth seeking professional support.”
When it comes to cooking strikes, Jordan shared that she actually has heard of parents taking this route before. “I find this happens when there are multiple picky eaters in the family and parents get frustrated trying to accommodate everyone’s food preferences,” she explained. “Although this may seem like a reasonable option, I do not recommend it. Children are still learning how to eat and often do not have the skills or knowledge that is needed to prepare nutritious, well balanced meals. As parents, it is your role to decide what, when, and where meals are offered; and children decide if and how much they would like to eat.”
As far as what the experts do advise for parents who have picky eaters, Rachael told Bored Panda, “I encourage [them] to mostly cook the foods they want to eat, as long as there are some ‘safe foods’ available, and when there’s not excessive pressure or becoming a short order cook, often times children will come around to trying more foods.”
Jordan shared some of her top tips as well. “Prepare one meal for the entire family and avoid making separate meals when or if your child refuses to eat,” she says. “You can include at least 1 food you know your picky eater enjoys, so that there is something on the plate they will eat.” She notes that it can also be helpful to get your children involved in meal preparation and cooking more regularly. “Children may be more likely to try foods they help make,” Jordan notes. “This will help them to learn about food and gain the skills necessary to prepare balanced meals as they get older.”
“Make a variety of foods available, present them in a low pressure way, and create the space for your children to try them on their own timeline”
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)
“Offer balanced meals and snacks, and let your child decide if and how much they would like to eat,” Jordan went on to recommend. “Children are more likely to enjoy food when eating is their own choice. Avoid using bribes, punishments, or rewards to get them to eat as this can lead to negative feelings about eating. Try offering meals family style where your child can choose what foods they would like to put on their plate. Eat meals as a family as often as you can. Children learn by observing; during family mealtimes, parents and other children (i.e., siblings) can model good eating behavior for your picky eater.”
And according to both experts, patience is certainly a virtue when it comes to parenting picky eaters. “Parents can feel extremely anxious when their child isn’t eating a lot of different foods, especially if those foods are ones they consider healthy, like fruits or vegetables,” Rachael added. “Try not to pressure children too much, as it often backfires and sends the message that these foods are a chore. Make a variety of foods available, present them in a low pressure way, and create the space for your children to try them on their own timeline.”
“Eating is a learned skill, and children might not like a food the first time they try it,” Jordan shared. “Offer foods multiple times and try to be patient to allow your child time to explore new foods. It can take 15 or more tries before a child accepts a new food.”
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing a parent who taught their child a lesson when it comes to food, we recommend reading this piece next!
Readers applauded the father for his creative approach to picky eating
Some even shared similar stories of lessons they and their family members have learned
Oh man, when I was a kid if we didn't eat what mom prepared we didn't eat.
Not a healthy mentality. It's one thing to make your kids understand they shouldn't be exaggerately picky when it comes to food but a kid shouldn't be left hungry if they don't like to eat something. It never changed my mind to eat something if I really didn't like it and I had an aunt that would leave us starving. It's not cool
Load More Replies...My way of dealing with likes, dislikes, allergies and intolerances, was to make separate components, and let people assemble their dinners on their own plates. Eg chicken curry would have cooked chicken piece, the curry sauce, a dish of rice, and a couple of plates of veggies. People could choose what they wanted. We would have pizza on a Saturday night. I'd make the dough, and put it on baking sheets. Beside the dough was the tomato sauce, cheeses, and an array of toppings to choose from. The family would assemble their own pizza.
After being left alone on a plot of land and not eating for 80 hours as part of Outward Bound's "Solo", I was given an orange. One of the best meals I've ever had! After that experience, (and eating bland "camp" food for a month), I had distain for anyone who complained about what they were given to eat. Like the BP post above, it's about having/learning perspective.
I love how the poster on Reddit simply shared what happened at his house and people begin with the unsolicited advice. Then the posts about what a great parent someone else is come along. Why can't people simply respond to the OP with kudos for solving the problem? It's not a competition, for Pete's sake!
Since about 9 onwards both my kids were assigned a night to cook, at 5 they were given home cooking lessons. Now at 19 my oldest cooks twice a week, my 17 year old once, my husband on Sunday, everyone for themselves on Tuesday so I only make dinner Monday and Friday night. Everyone has a say in what they make even if it's choosing from the meals for that week or suggesting what they make during planning phase. It took the complaints out of dinner, they always thank the cook, and when they aren't hungry for the dish they prepare their own meal.
Growing up, we had a "three bite rule." If I truly didn't like something after the third bite, I could make myself cereal or a sandwich. Unless it was a known hazard, like liver or my grandmother's spicy chili. Got a free pass and a hamburger for those.
Something my mom taught me was to ALWAYS have a loaf of sandwich bread, peanut butter, cereal, and milk in stock. And if you didn't want to eat the prepared lunch or dinner, well, go make yourself a sandwich or cereal because the cook/parent has already done their job.
I have a friend who has a family of 5. They all have food allergies and sensitivities, but no one has the same allergies and sensitivities. Poor woman doesn't have a choice but to make multiple meals every night.
I've been doing this for a while now. I just got tired of cooking multiple meals to accommodate everyone's increasingly picky palates. Mine stayed picky, but became very interested in me teaching them how to cook. Now my biggest struggle is getting them to clean up after cooking.
I would have been the kid that continued to choose sandwiches. Not because I'm stubborn, but because there are so many ways to make a sandwich and I friggen love bread.
Not sure I'd have minded that much. I live off sandwiches, Ramen, fruit and cereal pretty much the entire November since it's both NaNoWriMo and the busiest month at work, so I really don't have time to cook, and I can't say it's much of a hardship...
Load More Replies...Well done to the dad. Being involved with making the food (or making it completely themselves) will get them to appreciate the work that goes into it while gaining valuable skills and determining what to eat themselves. It sounds like their diets are a lot better than before and it might well be that the kids work out what their bodies need for themselves so I wouldn't worry about nutrition at this stage.
Lmao knowing me I'd just not eat food at all except for like the occasional instant ramen. I already skip lunch and eat very minimal breakfast and dinner unless it's something I really like
When I was a kid I was a bit allergic to cheese and I still don't like most of it. I really love some cheeses (goat cheese, some cheddars, some bries, etc) but I can't stand most of them, including parmesan which surprises most people. It's just absolutely disgusting to me
Load More Replies...It wouldn't have worked for me as a kid. I wouldn't eat. I've gotten worse as I've gotten older
So, he didn't go for the 'you'll sit there until you eat it' tactic my dad used with me?
When my husband was a kid, he announced that he didn't like what his mother made for dinner that night, and he wasn't going to eat it. His mother said, that it was okay, he could just go out to the living room then while the rest of the family ate. That's what he did. While he was alone in the living room, his family was eating and having a good time without him. They didn't even miss him. He never missed another meal after that.
BP your stories are like online recipes. No one needs your synopsis or narration of the story. I have to pass over so much BP drivel just to get to story. Don't need any BP input.
People don't realize what they have until it's taken away. Then they tend to appreciate it
My mum always said, "I am not a short order cook, and this is not a restaurant. Either eat what I have cooked or make something for yourself, cuz I'm not cooking another meal". All four of us kids learned to make basic meals at an early age and by teenage years had progressed to simple dinners. As an adult, I love to cook and I do all the cooking for my boyfriend and I. My rule is "I'm the chef, and the chef picks the menu". No complaints from my boyfriend though, he's always happy to eat what I cook.
When I was a kid, I hated soups. All of them. My mom began to cook only for 3 (mom, dad & sys) and said "poor you, there's no more soup you can't get". I was fine with it for about a month. After that I begged for soup and after 50 years I still like them.
When I was a kid any "picky eating" that wasn't the result of medical condition was called "hungry"
My siblings and I were allowed to choose one food that we didn't like and we would never have to eat it. It was often something new, or something that she very rarely made, like New England clam chowder. When I'd taste something new, I'd say, "This is it. This is my one food." And she'd say something like, "Are you sure you want to waste it on this? I've never made it before and probably won't again for a really long time." I would accede and eat it and it wasn't until I was working as a cook in my twenties that I realized I'd been played. Nice one, Mom.
My son and I are both celiacs, and he's somewhat picky due to autism and sensory issues. His mouth is one of his biggest trigger points so he's very hesitant to try new things being unsure of their texture. With my arthritis and fibromyalgia, I need help in the kitchen. Son is 15 and has been helping me cook since he was about 5. He's now much less hesitant to try new foods. We started ordering from Hello Fresh and he has tried everything we have ordered and most of it has been added to his will-eat list because HE cooked it.
I'm embarrassed by this but I am an extremely picky eater, and I started making my meals from a young age too. Although I wasn't forced into it, and I don't think you should force your kids either- especially if they only know how to make sandwiches (which is insane). Kind of crazy that his kids don't know how to cook, but he leaves them to cook for themselves. Plus, I feel like being able to construct my own meals helped me expand my palate.
My mam did this to me when I was 12. I ate shite for a week, then starting asking her how to make things. Best thing she ever did for me!
Haha I'd just not eat anything and refuse to admit I was wrong. Stubbornness and lack of appetite make a great match
Load More Replies...I never remember complaining about any meals I ate. I was just happy to have food and not go hungry.
Did you even read the article? The issue is that no matter what he made someone always complained. Not reading the article and then commenting anyway is damn childish behavior
Load More Replies...Oh man, when I was a kid if we didn't eat what mom prepared we didn't eat.
Not a healthy mentality. It's one thing to make your kids understand they shouldn't be exaggerately picky when it comes to food but a kid shouldn't be left hungry if they don't like to eat something. It never changed my mind to eat something if I really didn't like it and I had an aunt that would leave us starving. It's not cool
Load More Replies...My way of dealing with likes, dislikes, allergies and intolerances, was to make separate components, and let people assemble their dinners on their own plates. Eg chicken curry would have cooked chicken piece, the curry sauce, a dish of rice, and a couple of plates of veggies. People could choose what they wanted. We would have pizza on a Saturday night. I'd make the dough, and put it on baking sheets. Beside the dough was the tomato sauce, cheeses, and an array of toppings to choose from. The family would assemble their own pizza.
After being left alone on a plot of land and not eating for 80 hours as part of Outward Bound's "Solo", I was given an orange. One of the best meals I've ever had! After that experience, (and eating bland "camp" food for a month), I had distain for anyone who complained about what they were given to eat. Like the BP post above, it's about having/learning perspective.
I love how the poster on Reddit simply shared what happened at his house and people begin with the unsolicited advice. Then the posts about what a great parent someone else is come along. Why can't people simply respond to the OP with kudos for solving the problem? It's not a competition, for Pete's sake!
Since about 9 onwards both my kids were assigned a night to cook, at 5 they were given home cooking lessons. Now at 19 my oldest cooks twice a week, my 17 year old once, my husband on Sunday, everyone for themselves on Tuesday so I only make dinner Monday and Friday night. Everyone has a say in what they make even if it's choosing from the meals for that week or suggesting what they make during planning phase. It took the complaints out of dinner, they always thank the cook, and when they aren't hungry for the dish they prepare their own meal.
Growing up, we had a "three bite rule." If I truly didn't like something after the third bite, I could make myself cereal or a sandwich. Unless it was a known hazard, like liver or my grandmother's spicy chili. Got a free pass and a hamburger for those.
Something my mom taught me was to ALWAYS have a loaf of sandwich bread, peanut butter, cereal, and milk in stock. And if you didn't want to eat the prepared lunch or dinner, well, go make yourself a sandwich or cereal because the cook/parent has already done their job.
I have a friend who has a family of 5. They all have food allergies and sensitivities, but no one has the same allergies and sensitivities. Poor woman doesn't have a choice but to make multiple meals every night.
I've been doing this for a while now. I just got tired of cooking multiple meals to accommodate everyone's increasingly picky palates. Mine stayed picky, but became very interested in me teaching them how to cook. Now my biggest struggle is getting them to clean up after cooking.
I would have been the kid that continued to choose sandwiches. Not because I'm stubborn, but because there are so many ways to make a sandwich and I friggen love bread.
Not sure I'd have minded that much. I live off sandwiches, Ramen, fruit and cereal pretty much the entire November since it's both NaNoWriMo and the busiest month at work, so I really don't have time to cook, and I can't say it's much of a hardship...
Load More Replies...Well done to the dad. Being involved with making the food (or making it completely themselves) will get them to appreciate the work that goes into it while gaining valuable skills and determining what to eat themselves. It sounds like their diets are a lot better than before and it might well be that the kids work out what their bodies need for themselves so I wouldn't worry about nutrition at this stage.
Lmao knowing me I'd just not eat food at all except for like the occasional instant ramen. I already skip lunch and eat very minimal breakfast and dinner unless it's something I really like
When I was a kid I was a bit allergic to cheese and I still don't like most of it. I really love some cheeses (goat cheese, some cheddars, some bries, etc) but I can't stand most of them, including parmesan which surprises most people. It's just absolutely disgusting to me
Load More Replies...It wouldn't have worked for me as a kid. I wouldn't eat. I've gotten worse as I've gotten older
So, he didn't go for the 'you'll sit there until you eat it' tactic my dad used with me?
When my husband was a kid, he announced that he didn't like what his mother made for dinner that night, and he wasn't going to eat it. His mother said, that it was okay, he could just go out to the living room then while the rest of the family ate. That's what he did. While he was alone in the living room, his family was eating and having a good time without him. They didn't even miss him. He never missed another meal after that.
BP your stories are like online recipes. No one needs your synopsis or narration of the story. I have to pass over so much BP drivel just to get to story. Don't need any BP input.
People don't realize what they have until it's taken away. Then they tend to appreciate it
My mum always said, "I am not a short order cook, and this is not a restaurant. Either eat what I have cooked or make something for yourself, cuz I'm not cooking another meal". All four of us kids learned to make basic meals at an early age and by teenage years had progressed to simple dinners. As an adult, I love to cook and I do all the cooking for my boyfriend and I. My rule is "I'm the chef, and the chef picks the menu". No complaints from my boyfriend though, he's always happy to eat what I cook.
When I was a kid, I hated soups. All of them. My mom began to cook only for 3 (mom, dad & sys) and said "poor you, there's no more soup you can't get". I was fine with it for about a month. After that I begged for soup and after 50 years I still like them.
When I was a kid any "picky eating" that wasn't the result of medical condition was called "hungry"
My siblings and I were allowed to choose one food that we didn't like and we would never have to eat it. It was often something new, or something that she very rarely made, like New England clam chowder. When I'd taste something new, I'd say, "This is it. This is my one food." And she'd say something like, "Are you sure you want to waste it on this? I've never made it before and probably won't again for a really long time." I would accede and eat it and it wasn't until I was working as a cook in my twenties that I realized I'd been played. Nice one, Mom.
My son and I are both celiacs, and he's somewhat picky due to autism and sensory issues. His mouth is one of his biggest trigger points so he's very hesitant to try new things being unsure of their texture. With my arthritis and fibromyalgia, I need help in the kitchen. Son is 15 and has been helping me cook since he was about 5. He's now much less hesitant to try new foods. We started ordering from Hello Fresh and he has tried everything we have ordered and most of it has been added to his will-eat list because HE cooked it.
I'm embarrassed by this but I am an extremely picky eater, and I started making my meals from a young age too. Although I wasn't forced into it, and I don't think you should force your kids either- especially if they only know how to make sandwiches (which is insane). Kind of crazy that his kids don't know how to cook, but he leaves them to cook for themselves. Plus, I feel like being able to construct my own meals helped me expand my palate.
My mam did this to me when I was 12. I ate shite for a week, then starting asking her how to make things. Best thing she ever did for me!
Haha I'd just not eat anything and refuse to admit I was wrong. Stubbornness and lack of appetite make a great match
Load More Replies...I never remember complaining about any meals I ate. I was just happy to have food and not go hungry.
Did you even read the article? The issue is that no matter what he made someone always complained. Not reading the article and then commenting anyway is damn childish behavior
Load More Replies...
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