“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread
Being kind, treating others with dignity, and respecting others’ boundaries—this sounds like common sense to many people. It’s how any civil and self-confident individual ought to behave. Unfortunately, common sense is in short supply at times… as is basic politeness.
One internet user asked the men of the r/AskReddit online community to open up and share the obvious red flags that they’ve noticed in other men. The question started an in-depth discussion about toxic masculinity, and we’ve collected some of the most egregious examples of it. Scroll down for a crash course on how to never treat other human beings.
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Being a modern day Republican in the US. If he votes in favor of diminishing human rights, how do you think your relationship will go? Does he truly respect women if he is Ok with the removal of bodily autonomy? Will he respect your future kids if they are homosexual or transgender? I get that people change, but I would never set a girlfriend of mine up with someone I know to be republican.
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I haven't voted for any Republicans in a long time. I always considered myself a right of center independent. Which means I am a full blown leftist now. For all the talk of liberals being communists I don't see a lot of soviet flags or Mao banners... on the right I do see a lot of nazi flags, confederate flags, etc. If you can march or align yourself with them, you are not on the good side.
I agree with everything you said but I'd never even considered the whole flag aspect, you're totally right.
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Get real ... Democrats and Republicans both suck. They're two different sides of the same filthy coin, and to think otherwise is to expose your own biases. We need the rise of a 3rd party ASAP!
Stop with both-isms. Democrats policy platform is to help EVERYONE (aside from the elites who already have enough everything). The republican side meanwhile wants the US to become a dictatorship to Trump. One side literally tried to overthrow the government. The worst thing Dems have going for them is their disorganization (which they have slowly been fixing). If you truly think "both sides" are just as bad, then you are just plain ignorant of facts. Facts don't care about your feelings or political views. Remember when on Live TV Trump asked Russia to interfere in the election? Remember when Trump refused to condemn white supremacy/Nazism? Remember Jan. 6th? Remember the fake elector plot? Remember the 4 years long congressional committee Trump created to look into voter fraud? They spent 4 years and millions of dollars to discover Voter Fraud is basically non-existent. And yet he still went/goes on about "voter fraud"! The man LITERALLY had the vocabulary of an 8 yo. Look it up!
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A friend of mine has an embroidered pillow reading "Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican".
The polarization has affected USA like cancer. About half the country votes Democrat, about half votes Republican. If you can only think of the other side as "communist" and "nazi", then the social discourse has broken down. Stop spreading hate and talk to the other side. Ask them about their believes and motivations. You might find them more rational and compassionate than you give them credit for (at least most of them). If you flee to your own camp, there is only one outcome possible; violence. Stop this madness!
"Half" the country doesn't vote Republican considering there's both significantly more registered Dems AND since '92, the only time the GOP won the popular vote was in '04 which was more about Kerry's weakness than Bush's strength, plus that's still not counting the ex-GOP who became Independents since at least '08 out of disgust for what the GOP's become. That "Both Sides" c**p only made too many people unprepared/complacent for the Trumps, DeSantises, etc. that both reflect and reinforce said toxicity and Trumpers have made it ADAMANTLY clear the GOP is becoming/already *is* a white supremacist/fascist party be it the Tiki Torch Boys, hosting Orban, the book bans, the anti-voter measures and literally trying to LYNCH the VP for not doing what he legally wasn't capable of doing as the Trump-led mob tried to kill the entire line of succession! Trumps have been given PLENTY of opportunities to express their thoughts, beliefs, etc. so there's no "mistaking" what they're about 🙄
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I wouldn't set my friends up with people with opposite beliefs in this world, either! But, to suggest a Republican is a lesser human is just like what Germans did to the Jewish. Be careful what seeds you sow and water, hate is an ugly weed.
thank you im not republican or democrat but you know this hate for the other side is crazy its just different views doesn't make them dirty and horribly evil like wtf?
Load More Replies... It's very hard these days, especially with family and friends who champion and share everything these people say. How am I supposed to look them in the eyes when they tell me they are rooting for the people who want to take away my rights? When they want to deny my trans friends the right to exist? What am I supposed to say to you when you vote for a person who thinks a 10 year old who was raped by her father should be forced to carry the child to term?
This is absurd. Both Democrats and Republicans have become the worst thing to America in the last 20 yrs. Both have done nothing but regress the country in almost every way possible. And there’s no apparent end to the bickering. THey need to be divorced and a 3rd Independent party formed.
I'm reminded of Charlotte Clymer at a party when a guy randomly came up to her insisting, "I vote Republican, but I'm liberal" as he *clearly* wanted her to "absolve" him of his guilt as a transwoman despite the obvious fact that he's explicitly voting for the policies and politicians who see her very human rights and very existence as invalid. And TOO. MANY. people here are falling into the same weak "Both Sides" narrative that's a big reason why we're in the political mess that we've been in for years now as Republicans are removing human rights right and left, banning books, caping for a mob that LITERALLY TRIED TO KILL THE ENTIRE LINE OF SUCCESSION and more yet, "bOtH aRe bAd!" 🙄😒🤨
I know very little about American Politics, but are the only meaningful differences between the Republicans and the Democrats falling under the civil liberties and human rights umbrella? What's going on with their tax plans and Healthcare? Leaving aside HR and Civil liberties, can't one vote Republican for their economical stand?
Especially since, statistically, the majority are abusers, pedophiles, or criminals. More than any other group.
All these people that are downvoting everyone for saying that both sides suck, or that there needs to be a third party (when really there should never have been parties to begin with) or that people can identify as republican or democrat and not agree with all the stereotypical beliefs... Y'all realize you're part of the problem right? There was a time when most people identified as moderate, and people could exist happily as friends with someone with an opposing view point. But social media, the government and the news have us so polarized that we consider everyone to be all or nothing and hate each other for beliefs that the other may not even have. Fact is all politicians, especially at the federal level, are corrupt. And both sides are plenty happy to see us at each others throats and not actually doing anything to stop the corruption because the "opposing party" is a perfect scapegoat. But sure, keep the status quo with your self-righteousness.
Honestly, no one should be "democrat" or "republican". It's not a permanent state, it's an opinion. You should be voting for politicians on the merits of their platform not because you always vote republican or democrat (or Labour/Liberal/Green if you're an Aussie).
I did't even have a party this year, and I'm still disappointed...! /S
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Gotta love these sweeping generalizations, no matter which side you're on.
I agree that democrats aren't always the sharpest intellects but republicans act like ethics/morals are anathema to the well being of this America. DJT is a cancer symptom. Nothing good can happen until enough republicans put right over wrong.
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Im sitting here eating popcorn with old school 3D glasses reading all the hidden comments. I am not political, nor am i registered to vote. Because in the end i don't know who's less evil. I just take whoever is in charge and try to find any form of good or bad. Because in the end no president or political party is perfect. Although some have their moments of being worse then others. But i refuse to target one over the other. I hope this doesn't offend anyone
I'm sorry but you can't "believe in abortion rights and gay rights" and vote for people who wish to take those rights away. It doesn't work like that. You're not the ally you think you are.
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That is not true at all. I know several people who have gone from Republican to Democrat and vice versa. Change is hard, but not impossible.
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Please, unleash your paranoid illogical attack on freedom nonsense or Illuminati crazy. May I recommend you spend more time on BP and less on Rumble, Youtube, Facebook and Fox? You right wing Americans are always freaked out about clandestine attacks from the left. Meanwhile, your people are waving Nazi flags and attacking ANTI-fascists. Y’all typically confuse nationalism and militarism with patriotism and clearly don’t understand the the difference between democratic socialism (a large chunk of the EU) and communism, but still haven’t any idea that the US flag code doesn’t permit even your symbolic “flag waving” which is nothing more than “dog whistling” your bigotries and hatreds. You’re not gonna convince anyone here the the US GOP is currently better than their other options.
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Fetus/embryo does not equal a human being. By that logic, every time you ejaculate you are committing mass murder. If it has no brain, it can't think, then no consciousness. Being human involves consciousness. And stop calling embryos babies, and stop calling early abortions murder. It's a trick you use to "seem" like the good guys. No one likes a literal "baby killer". So by using the wrong term, you are spreading false information. Like why is it called prolife, when you don't give s**t about the lives of anyone (including babies out of the womb.)
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Get off your conspiracy horse. The government is not censoring ANY social media. They are private organizations and are allowed to control the content on their site however they want. Also, aside from military members, the government didn't force anyone to take the vaccine. Get your facts straight. Also, do you understand what experimental is? Do you understand the rigorous testing that is done on meds?! And seriously, if the US government was trying to "control your mind with a vaccine shot" (I got dumber just by writing that), you really think the other 200 countries on this planet wouldn't of found out when they did their own independent testing? The government can't do major things easily. You really think they somehow have a vast conspiracy that leaves no trace? I wish our government was capable of that kind of logistics/planning/coordinateing.
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I really dislike men who start lusting and talking about a woman's a*s, breasts, etc. to me, trying to get me to agree. (And they'd assume that I would, since I'm a guy as well.)
Some people just can't keep those thoughts to themselves.
Edit: I really appreciate how I am not alone on this. Sometimes it feels like I am, since those perverts are often the loudest.
this one is top for me. in one of my workplaces it's extremely bad and most guys there act like animals. it's like they get paid to flirt and be perverted. I do my best to be respectful and lead by example, but often I find myself straight up telling them off because it's just too much. It's especially bad when they try to get me to assist and be their wingman. Like, dude, I'm a father of a 16yo daughter, I'm the opposite of your wingman. I will eat you alive, kid. F**k right off with that s**t.
The redditors revealed some of the most hurtful aspects of toxic masculinity they spied in other men, whether they were their friends or casual acquaintances. It’s the kind of behavior that is very obviously a red flag and would make practically anyone think hard about whether that’s the kind of company they’d like to keep.
Some of the most awful examples included guys who would constantly criticize their family, men who’d make fun of others (but couldn’t stand being the butt of jokes), uncontrollable flirts, and anyone not in control of their temper. Other red flags that caught people’s attention included guys who would never apologize, were arrogant, and trampled over other folks’ privacy and boundaries.
"Women don't like good guys like me"
Good guys don't have to self assure themselves that they are good guys.
Random guys I meet through work showing me nudes a girl has sent them.
Like seriously, those aren’t meant to be shared.
Men who can joke about others but can’t take it.
(Can be applied to women too)
Especially when the jokes they make are just plain mean. My uncle is a prime example. He will mock anyone and everyone over just about anything, but don't you dare make even the slightest joke about him
At its core, toxic masculinity is the dark side of manliness and negatively impacts other people. According to WebMD, guys who embrace toxic masculinity are often homophobic, sexually aggressive toward women, violent, and promiscuous.
Moreover, proponents of toxic masculinity have a deep need for control and ‘dominate’ everyone around them, including their romantic partners. A 2017 report ‘The Man Box’ found that 46% of men ‘deserved’ to know where their partners were at all times.
If you hear a little voice inside you that says "I can change this man", he is not the man for you.
Bartender here...
- They don't respond well to the word "no"
- They argue for no other reason than to maintain their ego
- They use staring as a flirting technique
- They talk over you in conversation
- They get wildly uncomfortable when their partner is casually talking to somebody else in a public place
- They order Fireball, Hennessy, Patron, or a Long Island
- "What's the strongest you got bro?"
- Flashing money
Toxic men also often refuse to help out with the housework because they think it’s unmanly. Instead, they view household chores as something that only women ought to do. Around a fifth of American men believe they shouldn’t have to help out at home at all, according to ‘The Man Box’ report. The same report noted that just over a fifth of men thought that they should “use violence to get respect.”
Some guys also frown upon men who show their emotions because they consider that to be a sign of weakness. However, this is a very dangerous perspective because it makes men less likely to ask for help if they’re struggling with mental or physical health issues.
Meanwhile, a man who is perfectly comfortable in his own skin and an example of healthy masculinity is someone who embraces his emotions, isn’t afraid of his own feminine aspects, and self-reflects on his actions. He’s also respectful of other people’s boundaries and doesn’t mind other people challenging his opinions.
Thinking their entitled to a GF just because they’re a male
Thinking they are entitled to GF who looks like supermodel, just because they're male.
I look at how a man treats 'unattractive' women and other men, especially in places like restaurants.
It's all well and good if he's polite and nice towards a waitress who's attractive but try pay closer attention to how he treats those he doesn't see in that same way and see if you can spot a stark difference!
Thank goodness this is something at least one other guy notices and is not cool with. I admit I get more than a little annoyed at 'friends' who have watched and shrugged off when I (or another 'plain' person... or person they can't 'gain' from) are mistreated to inhuman levels ... it's like they're agreeing "If you're not attractive, why does it matter if they're rude to you?" - I've given them the "What the actual heck? Thanks for having my back, buddy... let me give the knife back to you." and they just "huh? What... I didn't see anything".
Believe me, I'm a nice guy.
Actions speak louder than words. Some sayings stick around for a reason.
Talking about how many women they've shagged without being asked.
Describing a woman like a piece of meat rather than just saying "she's nice/hot" i.e "look at the tits on that" or "love to tap that a*s"
Always wanting to get shitfaced when out rather than just have a few drinks.
Getting into fights.
Constantly s**t talking their wife or girlfriend. Always saying how horrible they are and such a b***h. Then I finally meet them at a get together or something and they are always nice. The guy will act completely different around her also, “yes dear” type of s**t. Then back at work the next day s**t talking her. Grow the f**k up
The ole' ball n' chain c**p. Dude, if it's that bad then get a divorce and shut up. Or just shut up.
Going out with younger women with a large age gap. It suggests to me that they like control and manipulation and compliance.
Can't agree with this. I know a couple of couples where the man is 15 - 20 years older and they are probably the happiest couples I know.
Routinely acting like a pouty manbaby.
We all have bad days, but I’d steer clear of the guys who very frequently have sour tempers and are very quick to anger. That’s the type of guy who will hit you, punch holes in the wall, drink and drive after every fight, etc
Never apologizing
Always blames someone/something else. Yup, we all know someone like that!
I had a friend who I confronted for cheating on his wife. He said it's a part of his culture and his people do it all the time. He's no longer my friend.
Calling women "bitches", and not in the sense of "she's being a b***h" but in the general sense as if "b***h" is a synonym for "woman".
Suddenly flying off the handle at a minor inconvenience. It's one thing to stub your toe at the end of a bad day and give the table a whack. It's another if every moment of stress or misfortune triggers rage.
Using phrases like "do you know who I am?"
Constantly talking about themselves and how desirable they are (to women, recruiters, hiring managers, etc)
*Only* being nice to certain groups of people (women, leaders, minorities, white people, etc)
Quotes Joe Rogan/ Andrew Tate etc. regulary.
Quotes andy at ALL! I don't know Rogan, but whoever quotes Tate should only have the sense to do so disparagingly!
Trying to flirt with friend's girlfriend.
Or text their ex gf when they break up. I simply texted a list to my last ex, like dudes u may not wanna trust. I did my part, he could believe me or not 🤷♀️
Proclaiming they are an alpha male and treat women like objects instead of people.
If you have to proclaim you are an 'Alpha male', you aren't.
Any man who talks about things like "the natural order" or "the natural hierarchy" is probably an a*****e. Nature is an unruly bush, not a "hierarchy". People who speak of "the natural order" are usually promoting something much darker than that, and they use the concept of "the natural order" as their excuse.
usually "natural order" is about men being "much better" than women or men having control over women.
When they blame all their problems on women.
Trying to break your hand with the handshake when they meet you.
I prefer a firm handshake, but when they're squeezing so hard you can feel your bones and tendons move and your hand hurts afterward, that's just ridiculous. It's just machismo b******t to exert dominance by way of physical pain.
Last guy that did it to me (it was at work) I just straight called him out right there. "Oh, so youre one of those hard handshake guys? Why do you do that?" As I shake the pain out of my hand. Was a very awkward professional relationship afterward but he never f****d with me.
When you handshake and he forcefully twists his hand on top and yours on bottom.
I instantly don't trust him
Trying to prove he's an 'Alpha Male'. Same here, instant red flag.
Throwing their friends under the bus when women are around. Really struggled to deal with guys I thought were my friends doing this when I was younger. It’s like a switch goes off in them when attractive women are around and all bets are off.
Also not making an effort to be friends or even just nice be to people that don’t have anything to offer them. There are plenty of guys at my job that only talk to guys their age or attractive women, like if they can’t hangout or date them they’re not worth interacting with.
The three F’s will earn an F from me if all they talk about is fighting, fornicating, and frustrations.
I want nothing from their friendships.
Have a life, you’re a lot more interesting if you do things. Because if you do things, you have things to talk about, to relate with, and experiences to share.
Again… have a life, be able to tell a story.
Just being an a*****e at the gym. How bout you don’t stand 4 inches away from me talking with your friends?
Clenched jaw and crossed arms. If you're showing me intimidation signals I'm going to ignore you until you go away.
Note: this post originally had 83 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
a big one for me that I see a lot of now that my kids are teenagers and involved in a lot of sports: that one dad who takes sports too seriously. when your kid comes off the baseball field and instead of going straight to the dugout to be with his coach and team, he walks around the the back of the fence to chat with dad between every inning, it's a problem. When your kid looks at you for feedback after every mistake they make, it's a problem. Not only is it super annoying to the rest of us trying to be healthy parents, but it's a really stupid way to parent. 100% going to backfire on you dude.
My dad tells the story of his coworker who started screaming "We're not out here for the fun of it!"... at the recreational softball game.
Load More Replies... People who were in the military and make sure everyone knows they were in the military
I've been accused of that because of certain speech mannerisms. Speech mannerisms are difficult to change though.
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You can make your own threads on BP. You know that, right?
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Being a misandrist does not in any way help anyone. It's not the way to fight misogyny. We want equal respect then we respect equally
Load More Replies... a big one for me that I see a lot of now that my kids are teenagers and involved in a lot of sports: that one dad who takes sports too seriously. when your kid comes off the baseball field and instead of going straight to the dugout to be with his coach and team, he walks around the the back of the fence to chat with dad between every inning, it's a problem. When your kid looks at you for feedback after every mistake they make, it's a problem. Not only is it super annoying to the rest of us trying to be healthy parents, but it's a really stupid way to parent. 100% going to backfire on you dude.
My dad tells the story of his coworker who started screaming "We're not out here for the fun of it!"... at the recreational softball game.
Load More Replies... People who were in the military and make sure everyone knows they were in the military
I've been accused of that because of certain speech mannerisms. Speech mannerisms are difficult to change though.
Load More Replies... You can make your own threads on BP. You know that, right?
Load More Replies... Being a misandrist does not in any way help anyone. It's not the way to fight misogyny. We want equal respect then we respect equally
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